The Apology I Owe Myself | DISC 6: Vitality | 411 PODCAST (Episode 45) - video Dailymotion

Lerin Gaines

The Apology I Owe Myself | DISC 6: Vitality | 411 PODCAST (Episode 45)  Featuring: Spiritual Sunday, Mentorship Series  Sunday | July 26th, 2026  Broadcasting on all social media platforms @LERINGAINES  https://leringaines.com https://linktr.ee/leringaines https://www.facebook.com/leringaines http://instagram.com/leringaines https://www.tiktok.com/@leringaines http://twitter.com/leringaines https://www.youtube.com/@leringaines https://www.twitch.tv/leringaines https://kick.com/leringaines https://dailymotion.com/LerinGaines  Song of The Day: "I Apologize" by Anita Baker Released 1994 | Rhythm of Love  Burning Questions for Reflections! Have you asked God for forgiveness while continuing to deny yourself the opportunity to grow beyond your past?  Share your response to tonight's Burning Questions... Text: (609) 200-1098 | Email: Info@LerinGaines.com  DM on any social media platform @LERINGAINES (Facebook, Instagram, X, TikTok, YouTube, KICK, Twitch, DailyMotion)  Check out for my FREE Monthly digital Newsletter 'Whispers of Wisdom' for updates, exclusives, and inspiration!  #Facebook #Instagram #TikTok #X #YouTube #KICK #Twitch #DailyMotion #DebtFreeLiving #FinancialCoach #LerinGaines #411Podcast #BurningQuestions #BlackDiamondConsultations #VacationWithMe #WhispersofWisdom #DISC6 #Vitality  DISCLAIMER: The content and information provided by Black Diamond Consultations are intended solely for educational and entertainment purposes. We do not guarantee the accuracy or completeness of the materials, and any reliance you place on them is strictly at your own risk. Our content is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice or judgment. Black Diamond Consultations shall not be liable for any errors or omissions in the educational and entertainment content or for any actions taken based on the information provided.  411 PODCAST DISC 6: Vitality Track 45: The Apology I Owe Myself ©️ 2026 Black Diamond Consultations Network LerinGaines.com

Transcript

03:00Every episode is part of a journey across our weekly mentorship series, Spiritual Sundays, Mental Mondays, Transformational Tuesdays, Wisdom Wednesdays,

03:10Coaching Sessions Thursdays, and Financial Fridays.

03:13Each day holds space for wisdom, clarity, and real conversations.

03:18We want you to join in on the conversations with us.

03:22Connect across all social media platforms at Laryngaines.

03:26We are broadcasting live on Facebook, YouTube, Kick, Twitch, X, and Dailymotion.

03:35Text your thoughts anytime to our official hotline at 609-200-1098.

03:42So, grab your journal, open your mind, and prepare to go beyond the surface.

03:47Here, we don't just talk, we transform lives.

03:50And now, here's your guide through it all, entrepreneur, mentor, and financial coach, Laren Gaines.

04:09Welcome, welcome on into the 411 Podcast.

04:13Thank you all so much for joining.

04:15I am thankful to be here for another episode.

04:18We're here on Spiritual Sunday, and we are on episode 45, the apology that I owe myself.

04:28Now, this is going to be a deep one.

04:31This is going to be a powerful one.

04:33And I want you to remember that whenever I minister to you, I am ministering to myself.

04:39This is a joint community, and I want to say thank you all so much for joining in.

04:43If you are listening out there first thing in the morning, I want to say what's up.

04:47Good morning to you.

04:49Please do me a favor.

04:50Best thing that you can do is hit that like button.

04:53Drop it in a comment to let me know exactly where you are calling from.

04:57Share this podcast out.

04:59You never know what type of breakthroughs you're going to get.

05:01And from the feedback that I have been receiving, it has been all positive.

05:07So I want to say again, thank you so much because I could not do it without each and every

05:12one of you.

05:16I also want to give a very special thank you to my executive producer, my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ,

05:22for giving me another opportunity to come out here and do it again.

05:27I'm not perfect.

05:29Don't claim to be perfect.

05:30I have ups.

05:32I have downs.

05:33There has been so many peaks and valleys in this whole journey since I started this thing.

05:39But he gives me another opportunity.

05:42We're going to get into book a new day.

05:45He's a new day.

05:47So with that, I have to say thank you with all of the things that's come out of this podcast

05:53through these seasons.

05:56It was to no doing of my own.

05:59So give it all up to the most high.

06:12So we're going to get into the song of the day.

06:14But as you know, this is about basically apologizing to yourself.

06:21And we don't get into the song of the day.

06:22But as I go through this, I realize that I can't run.

06:27And I have tried.

06:28I'm going to be honest.

06:29And this is where my apology comes in.

06:32Because what I asked for, I know what I've been given.

06:38And I don't know the exact script.

06:41Once you've been given something of this, you have to do a little more.

06:47So, yeah, we're going to give you something.

06:49But that means you have to do a little more.

06:50And sometimes the pressure can be a lot.

06:54And when the pressure becomes a lot, for me, sometimes I would be quick to run, especially in the past.

07:03Now, sometimes I might try to back up a little bit.

07:06But then God reminds me, remember what you asked for?

07:09And oh, by the way, you are not in control.

07:13I am in control.

07:14And then I have to sit back and be like, yes, I remember that.

07:18Because the more I try to go in and think that I'm in control, it causes all kinds of havoc.

07:27So I have to apologize to myself sometimes for getting in the way and thinking that I know when in

07:35reality I really don't know.

07:36So that's just a whole other issue.

07:40So, but, you know, since we're here now, let's just do it.

07:43Let's get right on into the song of the day.

07:53I apologize.

07:55Miss Anita Baker released in 1994.

07:58I don't know if you all remember this, but I remember this was around the time when, like, hip-hop

08:05was real.

08:06The 90s music was really starting to, basically, hip-hop was taking over.

08:11And I remember Anita Baker from the late 80s, you know.

08:17And this was like a comeback album, a comeback record for her.

08:21And we always was just wondering, who was she really apologizing to?

08:25And then the speculations came up, ex-husband, this, that, the next, the other.

08:30So I'm just going to remix it like we do.

08:34And I apologize.

08:36I started off with this, so I'm going to continue.

08:39I apologize.

08:40But for you out there, maybe you need to apologize to yourself.

08:45Maybe you need to forgive yourself from some of the things that you have done.

08:51And maybe that's not you anymore.

08:54Apologize for allowing yourself in a situation.

08:58Apologize for allowing other people to continuously remind you of the things that you've used to do come from all

09:06of those things.

09:07So when I look back at my life, I have to say, Laren, you know what?

09:10I apologize.

09:12I apologize for not taking action when I know that I should have.

09:18Because when you know better, you all know that you need to do better.

09:22I apologize for sitting at that job a little bit too long when I knew that I should have been

09:30looking at the front door.

09:32What about that relationship?

09:34Do you have to apologize to yourself now that you have broken free, now that you are out of that

09:39situation, now that you are no longer friends with the person who was really seeking you and monitoring your life?

09:47See, sometimes we have to apologize, forgive ourselves, take a deep breath, exhale.

09:54But see here, this is the thing.

09:56Once we say that we apologize, we need to stay steadfast on this track of never going back.

10:03Never going back to playing those same sad broken records over and over again, reminding ourselves of the things that

10:09we used to do.

10:10And if that means that you have to uproot yourself and get away from people who like to tap you

10:16on the shoulder and say, remember when?

10:19And then that's when we say, yes, I do remember.

10:22But guess what?

10:23I'm a new person today.

10:25And if you continue to try to remind me or take me back to where I've been, this situation right

10:32here is going to have to be over.

10:34So this is the new boundaries.

10:36This is the new establishment.

10:37So as we speak here today and we say we apologize, this is the new boundaries.

10:42This is the new establishment.

10:44And we will no longer allow things from the past to come in and disrupt what we have going on

10:50in the future.

10:51I apologize.

10:53And I apologize for allowing people to think that they can get away with the things that they try to

10:59do in my life.

11:01Not going to happen.

11:02And for those of you out there who might be a little bit nervous, you might be a little bit

11:07on edge.

11:11Right?

11:11You might be a little bit easy.

11:15Fear no man.

11:17God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

11:24And who are we greater than?

11:25I got to get this scripture right.

11:29Greater is he that is in me than he who was in the world.

11:34Yes.

11:36Absolutely.

11:38Song of the day.

11:40I apologize.

11:42Anita Baker.

11:441994.

11:45Off of her album, Rhythm and Love.

11:49Apologize.

11:50Apologize.

11:50Move on.

11:51Forgive.

11:52Forgive the people that's done stuff to you and your past.

11:56But here's the biggest thing.

11:59We have to get up and remove ourselves from things that remind us of something from the past.

12:05If you know that it's a trigger.

12:06If you know that it's going to take you there.

12:08And again, I don't know who I'm speaking to.

12:10I'm only speaking from real life experiences.

12:12When I minister to you, I minister to myself.

12:15This is real life situations that's going on currently in my environment.

12:19I know exactly what I need to do.

12:22He has commanded me to do something.

12:24I know exactly what I'm supposed to do.

12:26And when I don't know, I'm supposed to continue to keep walking in faith.

12:30I'm supposed to continue to keep walking.

12:32Yes, this is this good spiritual Sunday.

12:35I'm not going to stay on this too long.

12:37I need to continue to walk forward.

12:39But I must remove myself and clean up my environment if I want to get to the next level.

12:45And the same thing, I challenge each and every one of you.

12:48You have to remove yourself and clean up your environment if you want to get to the next level.

12:53And even though it might be a little bit scary, it might be a little bit uneasy.

12:58We have to walk by faith and not by sight.

13:01We don't know what it's going to be.

13:03We have to continuously move forward.

13:05And when it does get to that point, that is not the time to turn back.

13:08That is the time to press the gas and move forward.

13:11The more that you don't know, the more that you aren't uneasy, the more that you don't understand.

13:15That's a sign that you need to keep on moving in that right direction.

13:18Don't go back to the familiar.

13:19Don't go back to your vomit.

13:21Because, all right, I'm getting off of it.

13:33All right, so we here.

13:35Let's go ahead and bring in my friend, author, poet, Birdman313.

13:56What's going on?

13:58Hey, how's it going?

14:00It's going.

14:02It's going.

14:03That's good.

14:05Good old Sunday, rest and relaxation.

14:09How about you?

14:10Same here.

14:12Same here.

14:13You know.

14:16Only thing about Sundays is Monday is right around the corner.

14:23Well, being retired, I won't have that problem.

14:29I'm going to go ahead and let you have that one.

14:34Yeah, I don't have that problem no more, man.

14:37You know.

14:38I can sleep in at 10, 11 o'clock, you know, which I do.

14:46You know, the things that we need to, you know, strive for.

14:50So, yeah, I got you.

14:51I got you.

14:52Yes.

14:53Yes.

14:53It's been a long road.

14:55So, well, but it's been fair.

15:01Every day I wake up and I say, okay, we know we have to press forward so we can get

15:05to that point.

15:07Yes.

15:08Yeah.

15:08It's interesting.

15:11So, how is the weather in your area here?

15:16Hot.

15:16It's good.

15:17Hey, man.

15:17It's been in the hundreds.

15:20Went to the park a couple times.

15:22It's in the hundreds.

15:23Just walked in the shade, you know.

15:26But, like I said, because we're, let me see, this is July.

15:32And August is going to be even hotter.

15:35You know.

15:36I'm kind of disappointed in the Jersey weather.

15:39I was just listening to Stevie's album, Hotter Than July.

15:43And it really didn't pan up to that this year.

15:47This is kind of weird.

15:48I'm getting, I'm getting, I'm getting fall vibes already.

15:52Weird.

15:54You know, we, we get a lot of, a lot of rain.

16:01And, you know, they said when it rains, it's supposed to cool things off.

16:05But, man, it just makes the humidity go up higher.

16:11You know.

16:12So, it can rain.

16:15Hey, the funny part is, it can rain, be sunny, and be 95 all at the same time.

16:24I've heard that, I've heard that, I've heard that.

16:27Well, by what you're describing, I'm all right with that.

16:29Because when I wake up in the morning, I think two times last night, I turn the heat on in

16:36the car driving in.

16:38And I'm like, that's crazy.

16:39Because it was all the way down in the 50s.

16:42Yeah.

16:43Weird.

16:45Nah, I'd rather it be like 80, you know, at night.

16:50And then let it creep up from that to like 100, maybe 115.

16:54That sounds good to me.

16:57Ooh, man.

16:58And you know what I've been in, I've been in that weather.

17:04Out in Vegas, 100, it was 113.

17:10And, hey, man, I almost passed out.

17:14I mean, and then I didn't walk that many places.

17:17We had left bodybuilding competition.

17:21I had been there taking pictures, shooting videos, you know, what I was doing at the time.

17:27And I had a little mobile app going on, so I could put it on my mobile app, and people

17:31would come on and see it.

17:33And walking around, and, man, had me one of those tall drinks.

17:41Oh, yeah.

17:42You know, I didn't even get one this time around.

17:45I know what you mean.

17:47Dude, man, by the time I got back to the hotel, I was like, water, water, water, you know.

17:54So, I'm going to tell you a couple times.

17:58It's been, you know, I've had that happen not once but twice because down in Florida, I was working, and

18:05I poured some water on my head, which you're not supposed to do, and passed out.

18:11Really?

18:11So, why do they say you ain't supposed to do that?

18:15Drops the temperature too soon, real quickly.

18:18But that happened, man, out there, yeah.

18:22And, hey, man, I was much younger then when that happened, man.

18:25I was, like, in my 30s, poured that water on my head, and, ooh, went out, man.

18:31Oh, wow.

18:33Yeah, and I got up.

18:34I was like, oh, man, they sent me home.

18:37They said, no, you go home.

18:40Wow.

18:41Yeah.

18:42Yeah.

18:43So.

18:43Interesting.

18:44I had two bouts of that, and I'm not trying to have a third.

18:49Well, when I was in Vegas, it got so hot after walking around.

18:53Again, it was about 100-some-odd degrees.

18:55I came in and had to take me a nap real quick.

18:58But then I got up.

19:00And like my girl Mary, I was just fine.

19:03It went right back.

19:04Yeah.

19:05Yeah.

19:06Yeah.

19:08Oh, I cracked myself up.

19:11You know I cracked myself up.

19:13You know, I've done that, you know.

19:15And the first place I do is I grab my little cup downstairs, get me a little drink.

19:22Hey, I'm refreshed.

19:27Oh, man.

19:28Yeah.

19:29All right.

19:30So now, it ain't no secret, if those of you who have been listening, we had a little bit

19:34of a snafu.

19:35I have no idea what the heck happened.

19:37But our broadcast last week, it got cut off for some reason.

19:43I have no idea.

19:44But we back, and we got the book again.

19:46So now, we're going to give you a part two.

19:49So if you listen to the audio version, you got that clip.

19:55It's still there.

19:56And then now you get part two.

19:57So you get two of them.

19:59So after you're done listening to this, if you haven't gone over to Spotify, iHeartRadio,

20:04Deezer, Amazon, wherever you listen to your podcast, if you haven't gone over there, head

20:10on over, type in the 401 podcast, and pull up the episode with Birdman, and we actually

20:18went through.

20:18I don't remember the exact episode number.

20:22If I count back, I'm thinking it's maybe 41, 40, something like that.

20:27But check that episode out.

20:30And then you have this one here, too.

20:33So I talked about apology today.

20:36Is there anything that you'd like to apologize to yourself for?

20:41Man, when I first read that question, oh, dude, man, it was a lot of things.

20:47I've done it, though.

20:49I've already apologized for.

20:51And, you know, I just think about why did I do that when I know it was wrong, that it

21:00wasn't going to work out?

21:03And, yes, you know, just a lot of things I apologize through the years for.

21:14And I always ask God to forgive me for my past sins.

21:22And the mistakes I made, and I try not to make them anymore.

21:29Yeah, yeah, yeah.

21:32You know, when I read that, when I read that, I was like, oh, man.

21:37And it was like immediately it clicked to what my, it really wasn't my first mistake, but

21:47it was one of the major mistakes amongst many.

21:52And if I could just take it back, man, you know, but you can't have to do it.

21:59Right.

22:00That's something that's something that's been really, really hard.

22:04People I've talked with, you know, have told me.

22:08I mean, I even, you know, I went to counseling, and that was one of the things they told me.

22:14You've done it.

22:15You can't take it back.

22:17But you apologize.

22:19Right, right.

22:21So.

22:22If I have to think to 2026, we're right here now, I got to apologize for not staying on track.

22:33I focus on certain things, but the spiritual walk, there's a heck of a lot of things that I could

22:43have done.

22:44And even though that that's over, I got to apologize, but going forward, and I'm marking this episode to make

22:49sure that I stay on track with myself.

22:51But there are certain things that I have to do, and don't try to steer and turn.

22:56Don't try to run, because I remember running at 12, and I remember running again in my 30s.

23:04And then I said when I was 40 that I'm not going to run.

23:08But then every now and then, you know, you could start to look at what's going on in the world.

23:14And I don't want to try to, you know, I like the remix stuff.

23:18It's like God is like, nah, you ain't remixing this time around.

23:22You can't bring that into here and still want what I want you to do.

23:27So that's the biggest thing right there.

23:30I'll be trying to, you know, do a little remix, and I laugh sometimes, because I'm like, I know why

23:36that didn't work, God.

23:37I know exactly why it didn't work, because you don't want me to go down that path.

23:41You don't want me to go here.

23:42You don't want me to go there.

23:44I'm going to sit here, you know.

23:45So I got to just do what I'm supposed to do.

23:49Well, see, that's like me.

23:50I go back to when I came out of college.

23:54And I think about the major mistakes that I made.

24:00And I sit back now, and I'm like, how did I make them mistakes so bluntly, you know?

24:08And I said, oh, well, you know, that was many years ago, you know?

24:13And I just say to myself, man, it's even right now, sometimes I'll sit back, and I'm like, why didn't

24:22I see the painting on the wall?

24:25It was right there for me to take, and I didn't take it.

24:31And now I'm sitting back thinking about why.

24:35Why didn't I?

24:37Why didn't I do that?

24:38And why did I do that?

24:42And then also, you got to think, had you had gone down that path, would you have as many books

24:48as you have today?

24:51Yeah.

24:52Well, you know what?

24:54Now, that there is a different thing, because I know I have never told you this, but my fourth grade

25:03teacher encouraged me to write.

25:07Wow.

25:08Yeah, and so, like, I will write, and I'll stop, and then all of a sudden, I'll just start writing

25:14again, and I'll stop.

25:16And then I had the encouragement from one of my teammates, because I told you, I was playing basketball, and

25:23I went out in L.A.

25:24They had the pro summer league, and I went out there, and when they released a bunch of us, him

25:33and I and another player that we used to hang out on in L.A., we were sitting on the

25:38grass listening to music, and the guy said, well, he said, I'm going to go back.

25:44He said, I know I won't make it, and he said, I'm going to start writing music again, and I'm

25:50like, you know what?

25:52I, that's what I need to do, and I had so much music, people with music around me that I

26:01couldn't see the forest for the trees.

26:04See that?

26:05See?

26:05Yeah.

26:08It's interesting how things work out.

26:11Yes, it is.

26:13Yes, it is.

26:14But we can get caught up in that.

26:16Okay.

26:18Yeah, and then, actually, the female that I wanted, she wouldn't talk to me, and it was like I was

26:26invisible to her.

26:27That's why you've seen some of my poems titled Invisible, or Inspiration, or, you know, like that, because she wouldn't

26:36even talk to me.

26:37She didn't even know I exist.

26:39And you know what?

26:41I've had that happen, and a great thing is your rejection is my protection.

26:48Had you gone down that path, had you got linked up in this relationship, it wouldn't work out well.

26:55And you ever get into it, right, and then you're like, ooh, I see why, you know, you played me

27:01for so long.

27:02This was a good reason why you played me for so long.

27:05Yeah, I see.

27:06It happened to me recently, just recently.

27:08Yeah.

27:09And I'm like, oh, okay, so that's why it took six years for this thing to manifest into, okay, because

27:17I would have definitely blacked out a long time ago.

27:19But I get it now.

27:22I wasn't mature.

27:23I wasn't spiritually mature to be able to handle this type of stuff, but I get it now today.

27:28Yeah.

27:29Yeah.

27:30I feel the same way.

27:32Feel the same way.

27:35So what you got for us out of A New Day, which is on Amazon.

27:40I'm on, yes, I had, you know, I'm going to read it.

27:43I'm going to read it.

27:44And the first one I'm going to read, which, like I said, like I told you earlier, three of them,

27:53I remember the fourth one.

27:55I just chose something different because that's, I guess, that's the one, that's probably why I didn't go through the

28:02first time because I should have chose that one anyway.

28:05But the first one is titled Deep Inside Your Eyes.

28:11Looking deeply into your eyes, seeing only an emptiness, hoping there will be a thousand stars sparkling deep inside.

28:21A moment can last forever.

28:24A thousand words cannot describe what is hidden.

28:29Looking deeply into your eyes, I thought the whole world could be seen.

28:34A world of happiness and beauty.

28:37Hoping the sun will begin to shine again.

28:42Daydreaming can happen just about anywhere if you sit down for a few moments.

28:49Suddenly, your mind just drifts away.

28:52You begin to dream of things that happened in your yesterdays.

28:57I see a pair of dark eyes staring back at me.

29:01One minute, you are in real time.

29:05The next, you are in imaginary state.

29:08Look deeply into your eyes makes my thoughts travel far.

29:13No one can tell when these dreams are going to happen.

29:17If anyone sees you, remember the feeling that once sparked deep thoughts of feelings.

29:26And that had a lot to do with, like I said, me starting to learn how to accept myself.

29:34And I was looking into the mirror.

29:37And that kind of like sparked me to write this because I started looking in the mirror and start saying,

29:43I love myself.

29:44I love myself.

29:45I'm not a bad person.

29:47And that has made me change a whole lot.

29:51Absolutely.

29:52Yeah.

29:53I agree with that.

29:54That mirror work.

29:55We talked about that.

29:56That is important.

29:58And anything that anybody has ever said that was wrong, that you didn't like, that was negative, I encourage each

30:04and every one of you to flip it.

30:05And then you speak to yourself in the mirror about all of the great things and the positive things that

30:11you want to see.

30:12And you continue to do that over a period of time and you'll see what happens.

30:17Yeah.

30:18And sometimes I wish I could look into her eyes and say, these are the feelings, but I know I

30:24can't.

30:24So it ain't no big thing.

30:26Like, you know, it is what it is.

30:34Right.

30:36What else you got?

30:38Okay.

30:39This one here.

30:40I'm looking through.

30:41I'm looking through.

30:42Okay.

30:43On 14, page 14, finding a safe place.

30:48But, you know, that has to do with the beach.

30:52Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

30:55Okay.

30:56I got it.

30:58Finding a safe place.

31:00Walking along the edge of the ocean, trying to find a safe place to relax, think, and allow my mind

31:08roam freely.

31:09The waves crash against the shore as the smell of the ocean fills the air and the strong, chilling wind

31:17blows.

31:18There are no boats in sight as giant waves roll in, covering the sand.

31:25The waves in the ocean must be...

31:29Excuse me.

31:30I'm sorry, man.

31:32Let me start over again.

31:34Find a safe place.

31:36Walking along the edge of the ocean, trying to find a safe place to relax, think, and allow my mind

31:43to roam freely.

31:45The waves crash against the shore as the smell of the ocean fills the air and a strong, chilling wind

31:52blows.

31:53There are no boats in sight as giant waves roll in, covering the sand.

32:00The waves in the ocean must be respected because the undercurrent can trap swimmers that only a few can escape.

32:09For me, I can't ask for a more pleasant, more relaxing place for the soul to feel safe and refreshed.

32:18Somehow, it feels safer walking on the beach with the waves than it does walking or driving on the roads.

32:26It seems there are so many trigger-happy people looking for any reason to say, look at me, as they

32:36shoot and kill another human.

32:38We all must close our eyes permanently one day, but why not let God determine that?

32:46Fate and time instead of some Rambo hothead looking to post on social media for 15 minutes of fame.

32:55Standing and wondering if the peace on the shoreline be exempted from the unrest.

33:03The restless, power-driven waves roll onto the shore, claim victory once more, and silently rush back into the ocean.

33:18When I go to the beach, even if I go to the beach, even if I go with friends, I

33:25feel like I'm by myself because I always go off by myself.

33:30I'll take a long walk on the beach.

33:33I'll look up in the clouds.

33:35I talk to the clouds, but really, I'm talking to God and my parents and angels.

33:43That's how I feel.

33:44I'm always just looking across the water and saying, man, I wonder what's on the other side of there.

33:52You know, yeah, when you look.

33:55Yeah.

33:56Sometimes I say, do I really want to know what's on the other side?

34:00I know what you mean, because I've stared out there for a little bit like, wow, it's interesting.

34:07Yeah.

34:07Yes, yes.

34:08And, I mean, I enjoy the beach.

34:11I really do.

34:12I enjoy it.

34:13When I get down there, I lose track of time.

34:16You know, I lose all track of time.

34:20And, I just enjoy walking up and down the beach and taking pictures and smelling the salt water and feeling

34:29the breeze, you know?

34:30Uh-huh, uh-huh.

34:32Yeah.

34:33Honestly, I haven't even been to the shore.

34:38Usually, I go about August.

34:39So, next month, I'm going to start going at least once a week, you know, as summer winds down.

34:47I like to go, you know, in August.

34:49I've learned that.

34:51But, I haven't gone yet.

34:53Well, see, down here, going to Galveston, man, it gets packed down there, you know?

35:01And, so, I try to pick and choose exactly when to go, when, because Galveston is like a little New

35:11Orleans.

35:12It can get wild.

35:13It can get wild.

35:14Yeah, I'm going to have to go down there and check it out.

35:16You know?

35:17But, you know, you have all that beach, all that beach, you know, property.

35:23So, you know, I always go to Jamaica Beach, and that's a little bit far.

35:28You know, it's still Galveston, but it's on the island, but it's a little bit farther down from Galveston Beach,

35:36which is right next to it.

35:39So, you're saying that it's always on and popping in Galveston, then?

35:42So, basically, when I go to Texas, that's where I need to go?

35:46I ain't going to say that, but that would be a nice place to go.

35:50If you just want to get, you know, if you want to chill by some water.

35:55Yeah, yeah, yeah.

35:56And other people may say I'm wrong.

35:59I don't know.

35:59I mean, I used to go to La Porte because I had a bass instructor used to live there before

36:08he passed away, and I used to go down there to the beach.

36:11And I looked at some videos.

36:13I was doing videos.

36:14Oh, man, I did three videos.

36:16I was working on videos all day yesterday trying to get, you know, get them right for the poem.

36:22And I looked at some of the, I looked at the beach, and I couldn't find nothing to go with

36:33that setting.

36:34So, I went back to Galveston, and because the waves in La Porte are very calm.

36:44I mean, real calm.

36:45It's almost like they ain't even moving.

36:47But then when you go to Galveston, you got that rush.

36:53Okay.

36:54It's relaxing.

36:55Very relaxing.

36:58All right.

36:59I think that Texas has been long overdue.

37:04I really need to start to put that into a phase of next year.

37:09I really think I need to do that.

37:11Yeah, hey, man, you got my number.

37:12I think I need to.

37:13Yeah, I've talked about it for a long time, and I'm starting to run out of places.

37:20I'm running out of places in the U.S. to go to.

37:24So, I think that's what I'm going to do.

37:24And the food is good, man.

37:25I've never been there.

37:26You know, the food is good.

37:28You can sit on.

37:29You can find a restaurant.

37:30Well, they got restaurants all up and down the seawall.

37:34The ocean is right across the street.

37:37And you can sit out there, and you can look across at the ocean while you're sitting there eating,

37:41if you want to sit outside or if you want to sit inside.

37:46Hmm.

37:47Okay.

37:48I see you got my poem in here, Music in the Ghetto.

37:51I see that one.

37:52That one made it in here.

37:56Okay.

37:56What page is that on?

37:59Seventy.

38:00That's one of my favorite ones because it just reminds me.

38:04Yeah, it reminds me of growing up as a kid.

38:08And, you know, not necessarily did I live in the ghetto, but I have family members, so I visited it

38:14quite often, you know.

38:16Yeah.

38:17Yeah, it's, yeah.

38:19Yeah, that's it.

38:20Well, see, you know, I know the last time you said weekly walks, so I was going to do, but

38:25I'll do music in the ghetto.

38:26I see that one.

38:27I see that one, too.

38:28Yeah.

38:29Whatever one.

38:29Well, you want me to say, I can do both of them, man.

38:33Okay.

38:33I got you.

38:34All right.

38:35Yeah, yeah, yeah.

38:36Okay.

38:36This next one is called Music in the Ghetto.

38:39You know, and, you know, man, it just makes me think about when I was growing up and everybody was

38:46trying to put, you know, a few people was trying to do music.

38:49We really, in my hometown, there really was no guidance as far as if you wanted to go professional.

38:56At least I didn't find any.

38:59We didn't have any.

39:00Yeah, so, you know, that's why I'm looking at these youngsters.

39:04I'm like, man, y'all got it so easy because y'all got people that's doing music that's guiding you,

39:09even though some of it is rap, but you still got people guiding you how to get through it, but

39:16they don't tell them the bad part about music.

39:21There's good things to it.

39:22There's bad things.

39:24But, yeah, this one here is titled Music in the Ghetto.

39:28The empty buildings and hallways can hear the words that do not sound like a song.

39:35To the outside world, the lyrics seem distasteful and degrading, but to the ghetto world, it tells the real story

39:43of what life is like living in neighborhoods that so many turn away from and are afraid to enter.

39:50These priceless minds protect the words as they tell their stories of living in the ghetto.

39:58Beats flow as fast as words are spoken in rhythm and rhymes.

40:04The outside world fails to understand the stories being told.

40:10Drunken men find shade under an oak tree as they bob their heads to the beat.

40:16Drug users strut up and down the streets along with street workers as they feel free of pain while grooving

40:25to the words.

40:26The echoes of poverty ring outside of homes and empty buildings.

40:31You can smell the stench and life of ghetto living in the air.

40:36The music beats and blasts out loud words of how life is in the ghetto neighborhoods.

40:44Most songs are banned from commercial radio and are limited to underground tunes.

40:52Ghetto music is about real life where it is difficult to live and hard to survive.

40:59Most people who live in the ghetto have only their music for comfort as they try to live in this

41:06type of environment.

41:07And a lot of people don't understand that, yeah, hey, these are like really true statements.

41:15That, you know, it is hard in the ghetto because you have to survive.

41:21And when you I've been through so many ghetto areas throughout the U.S.

41:28And it's like it's all the same, you know, you see people out there and you'd be like, how can

41:34you live like this?

41:35But some people don't have a choice.

41:37So they, you know, and they survive.

41:40And a lot of people turn their backs on them and downgrade them without giving them a chance to express

41:50themselves.

41:51And the music is so important because they're able to express themselves through that.

41:57The music is what helps you get through some of the rough patches.

42:01You know, it's important.

42:04Music is so important in general.

42:08It's a way of communication.

42:09It's a way of life.

42:10But definitely for those people who can't help and they want to give up, it's songs that help get people

42:17to the next level, like the Marvin Gaye's, you know, what's going on, Inner City, what's it him?

42:27Inner City Blues.

42:28Yeah, Inner City Blues.

42:31Those things.

42:32Even Sly Stone, even though his music, his musical, wow.

42:36Oh, man, I can't, I'm not going to even tell you, man.

42:38There was a couple guys I used to hang out with, man.

42:42And, man, when I say, we party and listen to Sly Stone till we scratched it.

42:49And then he went and bought another album.

42:52And we listened to that one so much that he scratched that one up.

42:56So, hey, man, you know, it was a good time.

42:59I don't even remember too many records from him besides, you know, of course, the Family Affair one.

43:06But that was his most popular one.

43:09But, yeah, you'll have to let me know if someone's to listen to.

43:14Yeah, man, you know, and, you know, that was, that was, and then for us growing up, all of us

43:22was like sports get us out the neighborhood.

43:26Another thing.

43:26That's what, you know, it wasn't music.

43:28It was always sports.

43:31And I think that's why a lot of the football players, basketball players, they incorporate hip hop so much now,

43:43a days.

43:45I think they both go hand in hand for me.

43:49I believe that.

43:50I believe that that's why a lot.

43:52Yeah.

43:53One more.

43:54Oh, go ahead.

43:54I'm sorry.

43:55No, yeah, go ahead.

43:55I want to get one more, and I want to get the one that you spoke about, you like, Weekly

44:00Walk on 69.

44:04Yep.

44:06Okay, Weekly Walk.

44:08I take a weekly walk along a trail through the park, breathing in the fresh air, enjoying the solitude while

44:17letting nature take its course.

44:19The beautiful scenery becomes visible in the gentle sunlight.

44:24The sun begins its journey across the sky, over and through the clouds.

44:30As the journey continues onward, feelings of worry and stress begin to wear away.

44:37A breeze blows the mist across the path as I walk by the water fountains.

44:44A pond creates real beauty along a trail as the sun peeks through the leaves.

44:50Shadows from the trees, bushes, flowers become a visual pleasure.

44:57Park benches along the trail provide an opportunity to rest and enjoy the views.

45:04Close your eyes, feel the peace.

45:07Listen to the crickets, the birds, and the rustling of the leaves.

45:12Time passes by as I continue on my leisurely walk.

45:17The park is my sanctuary and calm refuge allowing me to disconnect from the devices and enjoy nature's beauty.

45:27And, you know, we talked about that, how a lot of people you see go through there, they're talking to

45:34their friends on the phone.

45:35And they're walking to their friends.

45:39Which I, here in Houston, I do understand why, because, especially for females, because there lately has been a lot

45:52of females getting attacked in the park when they're walking by themselves.

45:58And I know, I had said once before, you can't relax, but I do understand, and then I had to

46:04think about that afterwards, and I said, I understand why.

46:10You know, some people like myself, sometimes, sometimes I'll listen to music as I'm walking just to relax.

46:21But I had the music down low where I could still hear the rustling of the two males.

46:29And, you know, like, you can hear the streams as they flow.

46:37But, you know, you see a lot, I do, you see a lot of people, man, they just, and some

46:42of them, you can tell when they're concentrating, at least I can, because I read people.

46:48But that's something I tried to learn in school, was how to read people.

46:52When they're so deep into their phones, they have no clue to what's going around them.

47:00Exactly.

47:01No good.

47:02That's how somebody will get attacked, because you don't have no idea what you're surrounding for.

47:08Right, right.

47:09You know, and people be riding bikes through the park, and I've seen people so deep.

47:17And when they pass them, they're not even aware somebody on a bicycle passed them, you know, that they're that

47:24deep into their phone.

47:28Right.

47:29And I think that's, yeah, exactly.

47:34That's not good, man.

47:35At least you have enough to, you know, look around you, knowing what's behind you, in front of you, and

47:44on the sides.

47:45Right, right.

47:46Because the parks I go to, they have alligators, man.

47:51And alligators do come out on land sometimes.

47:55Snakes come out on land sometimes.

47:58So you need to be aware.

48:02And I don't care.

48:04I don't care how much you stress this to people.

48:07People still don't get it.

48:10And then they were like, oh, I didn't see that.

48:13Oh, yeah.

48:14You're right.

48:14You didn't see it.

48:17Alligators and snakes.

48:19Nah.

48:20Yeah.

48:20I'm good.

48:20I love it.

48:21I love it, man.

48:23You've seen the pictures I've taken up.

48:25I've taken videos, man, of alligators and snakes.

48:30Man, I love it.

48:30I love it, man.

48:31That's nature.

48:33I'm going to let you.

48:34There are certain creatures of nature that sometimes, if I could ask God, why did you

48:40make them, I would.

48:42Okay.

48:45But alligators, snakes are one of them.

48:47We already know what the snake is.

48:49Hey, man, I see them.

48:52I'll catch them.

48:53I'll take pictures.

48:54Like I said, I'll take pictures and videos and post them.

48:56And people will be like, why are you so close?

48:59I'm like, I'm not close up on them.

49:01I zoom.

49:02It's a distance now.

49:04Don't get me wrong.

49:05I respect their territory.

49:08And I stay a distance.

49:10And only time I catch an alligator is if they're off in this creek or this pond, the two places

49:16I go to, and I'm always zooming in.

49:21And I zoom it, and I'll take a picture or take a video.

49:26I don't go nowhere near it, man, because I respect their territory.

49:33Right, right.

49:35All right.

49:36So we are up against the clock.

49:38It's almost time to get on up out of here.

49:40Thank you all for joining.

49:42And it's a new day.

49:45Okay, y'all go ahead and I got that right.

49:48Y'all go ahead and get that on Amazon.

49:50Birdman, go ahead and let us know where we can officially get it at and all the good stuff

49:55about the book.

49:57Okay, you can get any of my books with you.

50:00I have 11 of them on Amazon at amazon.com slash author slash birdman313.

50:08You can even go to goodread.com slash birdman313.com.

50:16I have videos on Spotify, coffee, wine, and words platform.

50:21I have my own YouTube channel, which I've just uploaded three poems yesterday.

50:30I've been uploading a lot of poems.

50:33Yes, it's on Galveston.

50:35Out there in Galveston, it's off the gulf.

50:38And it's youtube.com slash authorpoetbirdman31355.

50:46You can catch me on Instagram.

50:52Instagram, birdman31355.

50:54So, and the place you can catch me.

50:56And then you can catch me here on the podcast.

50:59Absolutely.

51:01We'll be back on Wednesday for Wisdom Wednesday.

51:06So, yeah.

51:07All right.

51:08Well, I'm getting ready to close up shop and get on with the rest of my Sunday.

51:16Yeah, okay.

51:17You have fun out there in that nice heat and bring it along this way on the East Coast.

51:22I would definitely appreciate it.

51:24So, send it my way.

51:26All right, man.

51:28You take care.

51:29Appreciate this, man.

51:30Appreciate any time you let me come on and toss my words out there.

51:36Yeah.

51:37Absolutely.

51:38No problem.

51:38And more to come.

51:40So, I'll be talking to you soon.

51:42Take care.

51:44All right.

51:45See you.

51:48All right, ladies and gentlemen.

51:49There you have it.

51:50That was author for Urban 313.

51:58Always good when he comes by.

52:00Y'all please go ahead and check out his book, A New Day.

52:04It is available on Amazon.

52:09So, we're going to have to get on up out of here.

52:11It's always a short time, but I'm so thankful for being here for the time that I do have.

52:17So, if there is anything that you heard that sparked any type of interest, please go ahead and head on

52:24over to Laryngaines.com for some more information.

52:27And on that note, ladies and gentlemen, I will see you when I see you.

52:32Take care, and you'll have a good night.

The Apology I Owe Myself | DISC 6: Vitality | 411 PODCAST (Episode 45)

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