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FunTranscript
00:09Hello? Hello? Is this the delivery driver?
00:14Uh, yeah, yeah, Divi driver bro. Hi, um, I ordered some chicken nuggets and I've still not got them.
00:21How dare you!
00:23Alright, um, I don't know bro, I don't know what you're about, um, what, where, what are you?
00:28Uh, where are you from?
00:30What address did it from?
00:31My address. So I ordered chicken nuggets and I opted to get some fries as well and a milkshake.
00:40I got a chocolate milkshake as well and I've still not got it. Do you know where it is?
00:46A chocolate milkshake though?
00:47Yeah.
00:49Uh, I have no idea what you're on about.
00:51Right, I'll explain it again. Chicken nuggets, you know what chicken nuggets are?
00:58I don't know.
01:00Fries, you know what fries are? Made out of potato.
01:04And a, and a, and a chocolate milkshake. Normally milk and ice cream with chocolate flavour.
01:11That's what I've ordered and I've still not got it.
01:14No, no bro, I know, I know what chocolate milkshake and fries and everything is, yeah, but like.
01:19Right, so where is it?
01:21Um, probably the honest way. Hopefully.
01:25What, what, I'm waiting for you to tell me where it is.
01:28What have you ordered on?
01:29Right, I've ordered on the phone. Okay. I've ordered chicken nuggets.
01:37Right.
01:38Fries made out of potato. And a chocolate milkshake. Where is it?
01:44Well, I'll be honest with you. I've made these on this way too.
01:47It's been about three hours. Where's my, where's my food?
01:56What the fuck?
01:58What the fuck?
01:58What, three hours? What are they, what are they doing? Killing the chicken?
02:02Oh my god. Right.
02:05You sound a bit young to be ordering food by yourself.
02:11Shut your mouth. You're not judging me.
02:14Right.
02:15I've ordered chicken nuggets. Right.
02:18Yeah.
02:20Fries.
02:21Okay.
02:22And guess what else?
02:24A milkshake.
02:25A milkshake.
02:27What flavour?
02:29Chocolate.
02:29Right, where is it?
02:31Um, you might have to bear with the chocolate, they might be busy.
02:36Have you eaten, listen, have you eaten it?
02:39They might have, I think they have.
02:41No, you.
02:42I might be in the nuggets, but I don't know about the chocolate milkshake.
02:46You can't eat a milkshake, my friend.
02:48It's a liquid.
02:51It's a liquid.
02:51I don't know about the milkshake.
02:53Is it you?
02:54What about the fries?
02:56Wait, wait.
02:57Let's start again.
02:59Oh, okay.
02:59Nowhere.
03:01Where's my food?
03:06Three hours, it's me.
03:09What's your name?
03:10What's your name?
03:11Can I take your name, please?
03:12Um, my name's Hassan.
03:14Hi Hassan.
03:15Do you know where my food is, please?
03:17Um, honestly.
03:20Help me.
03:22Help.
03:22On its way.
03:24Yeah.
03:24I don't buy that.
03:25Not for one second.
03:27You're feeding me a pack of wires here, aren't you Hassan?
03:30It was me!
03:32I'm hopefully going to be feeding you a pack of chips and nuggets.
03:36Yeah, but you're not, are you?
03:38Yeah, but you're not feeding me that.
03:41Soon, soon land.
03:42Hopefully they should be there.
03:43I don't know why it's taken so long.
03:45Um.
03:46Are you bringing it?
03:48I'll, I'll bring you personally, yeah.
03:51Oh God, I'd rather you didn't.
03:52You don't even know where it is.
03:54Why?
03:55I'll, I'll, I'll inquire me and I'm going to get it to you.
04:00Oh yeah.
04:01So, I'll tell you what.
04:03Someone's getting a one star rating.
04:05I do not see you, please.
04:08Honestly, right.
04:10If you, if you're bringing it to me Hassan, what's my address?
04:13Yes.
04:15Um.
04:16No idea.
04:18No idea.
04:19No idea.
04:19Puddled.
04:19Yeah.
04:20I don't have that information on me, but.
04:21No, you don't.
04:23But I can't deliver it to you, just let me know.
04:25Right, I'll tell you where I live, okay?
04:27I live.
04:29Okay.
04:29Next door to my neighbour.
04:31Okay.
04:33Round the corner from the shops, near the park.
04:36Right.
04:37Which park?
04:38Which neighbour?
04:40The park near me and my next door neighbour.
04:44Right.
04:45You have no idea, have you Hassan?
04:48What's your name of the chips?
04:49What's my name of the chips?
04:52What's your name of the dress?
04:54It's next door to me.
04:57Um.
04:57And guess where they live?
05:00Next door to their neighbour.
05:04Magic.
05:05What?
05:05You don't know nothing.
05:07Oh, my chicken's freezing now, innit?
05:11Yeah, because it's definitely in the microwave.
05:13We'll be fine.
05:13What about the milkshake?
05:14That's melted.
05:16Uh, that's that in the freezer.
05:20I'm not buying that.
05:22Um.
05:22How long have you been doing this job?
05:24About five, six years.
05:27How have you done that?
05:29Oh, my God.
05:32To be honest, I've been winging, winging every day of it.
05:35You've been winging it every day?
05:38If you fall to the foot.
05:39Why?
05:40Because I've got chicken wings.
05:45Where's my chicken?
05:50Get my chicken, get my fries, get my milkshake, and I'm not paying for it.
05:56Right.
05:57That's fine.
05:58I'll personally get your milkshake, get your nuggets, get your fries, and you won't have
06:04to pay.
06:05That'll be on the house.
06:06On whose house?
06:07I've got to wait for the food and then I've got to get on my roof to eat it.
06:12On whose house?
06:15No.
06:16I'm sorry.
06:17I'm sorry for all the evening.
06:18I'm sorry.
06:19This is not good delivery standard.
06:21I'm really sorry.
06:21No, it's not.
06:22One star.
06:23That's what people are going to call you.
06:25One star Hassan.
06:32Listen.
06:32Listen, one star Hassan.
06:35Yeah.
06:36Have you got anything over deliveries?
06:41after mine no um i do yeah they're gonna be waiting longer than me
06:53what about them what about customer satisfaction one star what's going on here
07:04because i've not got my food one star i've been waiting for ages
07:08um but yeah like i said i will personally find out personally get food to you straight away
07:15prioritizing your delivery your chicken i feel like just feeding my lies now one star
07:22no i'll be feeding your chips in a bit i don't want you feeding me chips you might be freezing
07:31um can i get fresh food can i get it all freshly cooked freshly made
07:38perfect and then bring it within five minutes
07:42uh i'm not that good of a thingy driver but go waste of my time one star
07:49waste of our time watch the box on
07:53what car have you got
07:55uh a blue car wow that sounds fast
08:03what car is that do you do you sound like a man it's blue brilliant
08:10it's a toyota yaris
08:20no wonder i'm waiting three hours
08:26it's reliable is it's not that reliable still waiting for my delivery
08:34i'd say oh yaris oh bless you
08:37um why don't you get a proper car
08:44no it's not my red and yellow car has got you got four wheels
08:51and it's faster than your yaris and i've got no floor i have to use my legs
08:59make the noise of how fast your car goes
09:03the noise yeah right now
09:06uh what does yours sound like and then i'll tell you what my yaris
09:09my my car sounds like it goes
09:15rapid like that how fast does your yaris go
09:19it almost sounds a little bit something like this
09:32so if it goes that fast why am i still waiting for my food
09:37we've been busy
09:40how fast is quick you can't go again
09:44um want me to do the noise again though
09:46oh yeah i want you to i want you to do the noise in your yaris again
09:51right you won't pop
09:54if uh it's a one liter blue Toyota yaris it sounds like this
10:05what do you make it sound like it's got dumb vowels on it
10:12why does she can't sound like it's from too fast through furious
10:16family because it is because i've got it really much a couple of times
10:20your car your car would fit in my car's boot
10:26yeah but that doesn't mean that it's not fast
10:28yeah but it's small
10:30i can still fit chicken and moon chicken in it
10:33no you can't because you don't even put it in
10:36anything i think is that listen one star i'm gonna tell you go and get my food go and bring
10:44it to me now
10:45oh i'm not going to be happy
10:49okay i should let you know my heaters don't work
10:54i'm not shocked it's a yaris i'm surprised if wheels work
10:59okay yeah barely but my heaters don't work
11:05sure but at least you don't valves work don't they
11:10everything else is in order
11:12right okay have you got an mot a what an mot an mot yeah that's just about that
11:26i'm not filled with confidence here can you get someone else to deliver my food
11:31um yeah i could direct you i could tell someone else but right some kid going mental
11:38and the other four could you deliver his chicken and milkshake
11:41three nearly six mate three nearly six yeah i'm old hassan one star i'm going okay get my food to
11:50me
11:50rapid right i'll get you i'll get you scrunchy as fast as i can i like i like how that
11:57rhymed
11:58i'll get you scrunchy as fast as you can scrum fast can scrum scrum scrum
12:07i can't get the scrum to you yeah i can get your scrum
12:14yeah i can i can get scrum to you okay i'll get a scrum as fast as i can one
12:20star can i ask you a
12:21question yeah are you my real dad are you my real dad yeah i don't know do you know my
12:31mum
12:33um i don't think so she's a proper lazy pig do you know her my my mum do you know
12:41what she's called
12:43uh no she's called mum oh okay oh yeah oh yeah so you might be my real dad i am
12:54your father
13:00absolutely not i hope you're not my real dad never got a good car
13:07oh yeah everyone's got that somewhere yeah you've sighed right at the bottom
13:13haven't you
13:15well oh well look look all the way from that is is the top so you can't get any longer
13:21than that
13:22no you can't i feel bad for you car
13:25nice nice i i like it it's my slime my little baby get my food yeah will do now
13:35yeah right i'll get your scrum to you okay one star i'll see you in a bit okay love you
13:42bye love you too love you see you in a bit one star bye
13:46love you too love you too bye love you bye
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