00:00So, today it's my birthday and I'm going to this amazing restaurant!
00:07F*** off! Happy birthday! F*** off!
00:12All my friends have booked it for me, so we're gonna go in there, have some food
00:17Move out of the way, sit down you f***
00:19Have a cake
00:20White candles out on a special occasion, after 3 deep breaths, 1
00:25Come on!
00:29I'm so excited, I can't wait!
00:32So we got to Karen's Diner and I was expecting candles and beautiful lighting
00:39and just to have the bestest birthday ever!
00:45But it wasn't
00:48I'm here, I'm in Karen's Diner
00:50Are you ok?
00:52Not really, I wasn't until you were!
00:56What do you want?
00:58F***!
00:59Yeah no s***!
01:00Your birthday!
01:02My birthday today!
01:03How old are you? Seven!
01:04Three nearly six!
01:06Three nearly six! F*** off!
01:08I'm on s*** side you were!
01:10I'm on s*** side!
01:11Sit on those circle tables over there!
01:13Have a s*** side!
01:14So when we got in there, we sat down and were looking about, trying to see what people are eating
01:21and thinking, hmm, I'll have a bit of that chicken
01:24So when we sat there, I thought, oh here he comes with the menus
01:29Three of those!
01:30Just through them!
01:31Very cautious of his legs on the shelf with us!
01:36So we got them in here!
01:38So we had to pick them up off the floor!
01:41Bad service!
01:43Can I get an Australia please?
01:45If you can say it right!
01:47Australia?
01:50No, you're not allowed to laugh anymore, that's disgusting!
01:53That has to be put on!
01:55What?
01:56That has to be put on!
01:59What works?
02:00You're not going through puberty yet?
02:02Not yet!
02:03It doesn't work if he can see you, you know?
02:10I mean you do look like a baby!
02:12Just get me a drink!
02:14Right, what do you want?
02:14Same as him!
02:15What did you get?
02:16Estrella!
02:24F**k!
02:25Frankie!
02:27Frankie!
02:33It's not happening!
02:35It's beautiful about you, you know
02:37Ok, it's not about me!
02:41What's funny?
02:42What's funny?
02:43What's funny?
02:44What's funny?
02:45What's funny?
02:46What's funny?
02:48How do you put that on?
02:50Where's the voice going?
02:51It's good!
02:55Thank you!
02:56What's funny?
02:59What's funny?
03:00So they got me to stand up in front of everybody, spin this wheel and then my challenge was to
03:08wrap, yeah, wrap three random words. There was words in there that I didn't even understand.
03:14We've got chicken!
03:16We've got chicken!
03:17We've got b**** and we've got prostate!
03:20Ok!
03:20Yeah!
03:20Let's get a little beat on for you shall we!
03:25Yeah!
03:26Yeah!
03:26My mum's at home and she be flicking!
03:29Not herself!
03:30But she's flicking on her chicken!
03:31And the mum, she loves it now!
03:34Just at home taking a bow!
03:37What's the next one?
03:37Prostate!
03:38Prostate!
03:40My uncle Barry's got a best mate!
03:43He's a bit poorly with a poorly prostate!
03:47What?!
03:47That's the truth!
03:53Sorry!
03:54Don't look at me!
03:55It's Linda's fault!
03:57It's Linda's fault!
03:59Linda saw it with all the mates!
04:02She's from her frolicing!
04:07She give me a word and I can't even put it into rhyme because she's from her frolicing!
04:13My uncle's putting the f******!
04:15F******!
04:19F******!
04:20I'm here wrapping and she's shouting at me!
04:25I'm glad you're rubbish!
04:28You don't work it!
04:31She's got a job in the world!
04:34Everyone boo him!
04:39F******!
04:40You don't work it!
04:42I don't work it!
04:43All of you!
04:44All of you!
04:45Middle finger up him!
04:48F******!
04:48It's alright Tim!
04:49Do you know what you win now?
04:51F******!
04:51F******!
04:52F******!
04:54So when we're in there there was this one waitress!
04:58Sure she hated me!
05:00I'm sure she did!
05:01She kept staring at me!
05:03Staring at me!
05:05That would proper freak me out!
05:07Then just keep looking at her and she's still staring!
05:10I swear to god!
05:13She had it!
05:13She had proper RBF!
05:16Rest in f****** face!
05:18She was scaring her!
05:20Honestly!
05:21Why couldn't you just tell me to McDonalds?
05:23So when I sat down they come over with a picture and some crayons and stuff like that!
05:30Nice!
05:31Perfect!
05:32Thank you!
05:33Oh!
05:36I say you give it to me!
05:38I threw it again!
05:40But colouring it in!
05:42Ripped it open from the neck!
05:51We're going to have to do better than that!
05:53Try again!
05:56Can I have some sellotape please?
05:59Let's see it Tim!
06:00I need some sellotape!
06:07Look at you!
06:09What was that?
06:11Yeah!
06:13It's quite good!
06:16You've got a good current toilet!
06:25Smell it!
06:37And there was a group of all these mature ladies!
06:42Who's...
06:43One of them it was the birthday window!
06:47Ninja Scott Flirt!
06:49F****** off!
06:51No bacon!
06:52Fiery!
06:53Crusty!
06:54Try to go with your chicken wings!
06:55Hit the line!
06:55F****** off!
06:58More than one thing at a time!
07:00F****** yeah!
07:02I don't like it!
07:05I don't give a f****** if you don't like it yet!
07:06Move!
07:07I don't know what anyone...
07:08Move out the way!
07:09Sit down you f******!
07:11Imagine walking your pass going!
07:13That looks nice!
07:14And then you come in!
07:16Come in shouted at!
07:18By everyone!
07:28See what I mean!
07:29She's gonna kill me!
07:31In there!
07:33He just fell into them high chairs!
07:41He fell over him!
07:43Did you not see them birds?
07:45Shut up!
07:46F****** off!
07:46F****** off!
07:49F****** off!
07:51I've literally got ear plugged in!
07:53It's f****** annoying!
07:54It doesn't work when you're not on the phone!
07:57I can see you're an old f****** man!
07:58Shut up!
07:59Old!
08:02Old!
08:04Old!
08:05And everyone's singing happy birthday to me!
08:08Happy birthday!
08:11F****** off!
08:14Happy birthday!
08:16F****** off!
08:19Happy birthday!
08:21F****** off!
08:22Up!
08:24Happy birthday!
08:26F****** off!
08:28Hip! Hip!
08:28F****** off!
08:29Hip! Hip!
08:30F****** off!
08:31Matt, get up in front of everyone!
08:33I'm gonna blow out my candles!
08:35After three, deep breath!
08:37One!
08:41And then they blew the candles out instead of me!
08:45I was fuming!
08:46And then Linda!
08:48Pops up!
08:50Yaaaaaah!
08:51F****** off, Linda!
08:53You don't work it!
08:55F****** off!
09:00You f****** off!
09:03She don't work it!
09:05So how does this rank on your birthday experiences, Tim?
09:10Well...
09:11I mean, it's better than a Ballast of Castle, isn't it?
09:14I had that one year!
09:18Erm...
09:18Would I go again?
09:22I won't take my Uncle Barry!
09:24Definitely not!
09:26And if it takes Mac and Steve,
09:28he likes that bean shouting at things!
09:31I've heard my mum doing it with the wrestling!
09:34Cake's a bit stale!
09:36That's lovely!
09:37Shut up!
09:43Nice day!
09:44Lovely!
09:45So who from that diner are you inviting to your next birthday party?
09:49No one!
09:51Well...
09:52Yeah!
09:52In fact, they were all brilliant!
09:55But there was one guy there who loves all my videos!
09:58I can't remember his name!
10:00It's not that important!
10:02But there was a girl there called Amber!
10:04Open your mouth!
10:06Open your f****** mouth!
10:07Open your f****** mouth!
10:09Open your f****** mouth!
10:10Oh my God!
10:12She was absolutely amazing!
10:15She has a nice little tattoo haircut thing in her head.
10:20And I thought...
10:21Uncle Barry would smash that design on his arm.
10:25He would!
10:26But she can come to my party!
10:31Right!
10:31It's of just that dinner in there for my birthday.
10:35Wow! Wow!
10:37Wow! And I mean it, it did not know what to expect at all.
10:43They're not nice.
10:44But it's all character, of course it's all character.
10:47They're screaming at you.
10:49And they send me happy birthday as well.
10:52They didn't say happy birthday to you.
10:55It's something else, something else.
10:57Anyway, it was good.
10:59Thanks everybody for my birthday party.
11:02They brought me a cake.
11:03And they blew the flipping candles out of me.
11:08Anyway, it was good.
11:10I enjoyed it.
11:11Thanks guys.
11:12Please make sure you like, comment and subscribe.
11:16We're nearly at the one million mark baby.
11:19Let's go!
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