- 5 weeks ago
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:02Once upon a time, in a kingdom far away, a certain man, and a slightly less certain woman, kept bumping
00:13into one another.
00:15They seemed to meet everywhere. On street corners, at parties.
00:26It was almost as if they were dating accidentally.
00:30And then, after another chance meeting, at a wealthy lawyer's new son's bris,
00:37they decided to pick a time to bump into each other on purpose.
00:43Saturday, 10.30, the hottest new restaurant in Manhattan.
00:48Samantha's PR firm was handling the opening.
00:51Hi.
00:52Hey.
00:52Hi.
00:52Hi, pretty.
00:54So, isn't Brian great?
00:56Charlotte had a new boyfriend.
00:57He had her big three.
00:59Looks, manners, money.
01:01Did I tell you he wants to buy a painting from my gallery?
01:04Love and a commission.
01:05She couldn't have been happier.
01:07All right, it's official he's late.
01:08Who?
01:09Mr. Big.
01:10Who else?
01:11Carrie, that's great.
01:12Is it a date?
01:13No, he called it a thing.
01:14He said, meet me.
01:15Meet me for a drink thing.
01:17He never used the D word.
01:18Well, thing is good.
01:20I mean, thing comes before a date.
01:21Well, let's hope so.
01:22All right, I'm going to go in.
01:23Okay.
01:24See you, ma'am.
01:25Where did Skipper go?
01:26Oh, I don't know how you can date the younger guy.
01:29I mean, they're so scattered and unfocused.
01:30We're not dating.
01:31It's a fuck thing.
01:33Girls, isn't this fun?
01:35I've turned away 20 so far.
01:37People are actually crying.
01:39People are laughing.
01:41All right, all right.
01:43Okay, come back.
01:44Oh, oh.
01:46Something came up.
01:48He's not going to meet me.
01:49Here, will you listen to this and tell me if you can figure out whether he's not meeting
01:53me as a date or not meeting me as a friend.
01:55All right.
01:57Sometimes you need a second opinion.
01:59With doctors, real estate, men.
02:01Well?
02:03I have no idea.
02:05And I finished first in my litigation class.
02:08How pathetic do I feel asking you if a guy kinda likes you?
02:14There you are.
02:15Hey.
02:16Hey.
02:16Hi.
02:18Carrie.
02:19Miranda.
02:20This is the hottest chef in New York, John.
02:23John.
02:24J-O-N.
02:25No H, no last name.
02:26His blue crab strudel was so fabulous he didn't need one.
02:29And this is his very cute friend, Sam.
02:32Hey.
02:33Sam?
02:34Whose name's Sam?
02:35Me.
02:36Can I get you a drink?
02:37Oh, good luck.
02:38The bar is packed.
02:39No problem, because bartender's a buddy of mine, Miranda.
02:42Martini.
02:43Twenty-something guys always know the really important D people.
02:48Bus boys, bouncers.
02:50Plus, they have cute butts.
02:52It's the Times critic.
02:54Better go.
02:59Come on.
03:01Come on.
03:03Come on.
03:03Come on.
03:05Come on.
03:05Come on.
03:07Come on.
03:09Come on.
03:09Come on.
03:09Did I mention I'm sleeping with him?
03:15Skipper?
03:15Oh, yeah.
03:16Oh, yeah.
03:17Oh, yeah.
03:18Okay.
03:18He's lost.
03:19What are we coming?
03:19Oh.
03:22They stopped making martinis, so I got us two rum and coke.
03:24Is that okay?
03:24Well, I hate rum and I hate coke.
03:28But thanks.
03:28Martinis, ladies.
03:29Wow.
03:30Look at the shoe.
03:31There's a waiter.
03:32TGIF.
03:33Fabulous.
03:36Hey.
03:37Hey.
03:38Sam.
03:39Skipper.
03:40Hey.
03:40Hey.
03:41They liked each other immediately.
03:43You want to see something?
03:49Can you narrow that down a little bit?
03:53Wait.
03:54It didn't...
03:56No.
03:57No.
03:57Do it over.
03:58Let me see.
03:58Oh.
04:01Hey.
04:02Hey.
04:03Hey.
04:03Hey.
04:04I've been looking all over for you.
04:06Here you are.
04:07Only in a taunt.
04:09Well, your message said you weren't coming.
04:10I thought I said I'd try to make it for an hour.
04:12Well, yeah, but then you said that...
04:14What?
04:14What?
04:14What did I say?
04:15Never mind.
04:16Never mind.
04:17You're here.
04:17You have an hour.
04:17Let's have a drink.
04:18Well, I was outside trying to get in for 30 minutes.
04:21Inside looking for you for 20 minutes.
04:22So that leaves me with just enough time to tell you that...
04:25I'm out of time.
04:27You have fun.
04:28Men in their 40s are like the New York Times Sunday crossword puzzle.
04:32Tricky, complicated, and you're never really sure you got the right answer.
04:36This place is tired.
04:39Do you want to get out of here?
04:40Sure.
04:44I want to get out of here.
04:47A short cab ride later, Samantha, John, no age, Sam, and I found ourselves at the nearby
04:5120-something club.
04:54I can't believe you made John leave his own opening.
04:56He is way too happy to be seen someplace borderline tired.
05:00It was a tough town.
05:02Hot places and the lifespan of a mid-fly.
05:04Samantha?
05:06Everybody in here is in their 20s.
05:08And so are we.
05:09As I glanced around the room, I was amazed at the wide variety of great 20-something guys.
05:15The groovy guy.
05:18The corporate guy.
05:20The jock guy.
05:23The underage guy.
05:24And the loh Allen is it!
05:29The hair is holding a deny of a black person and how NFTs made her compete as離特 плохо.
05:30How are you?
05:30How are you?
05:33What's essas you?
05:33Big couch.
05:35Oh, here.
05:36OK, this is ridiculous.
05:38Oh!
05:42i do a touching hat, i do a zrobić.
05:50Oh!
05:50What's cuter than that?
05:53As we took a swig from our pony-necked beers, I remembered another type of 20-something guy.
05:58So, what's it like to kiss with that little one?
06:03You want to find out?
06:08A really good kisser guy.
06:23Hello?
06:25I am so fucked.
06:26What's wrong?
06:27No, I mean literally. I have been fucked every way you can be fucked.
06:31If you keep talking like that, I'm gonna have to charge you by the minute.
06:34As I searched for my morning Marlboro light, Samantha proceeded to give me a rundown of her night with John.
06:40No age, no inhibitions.
06:42We did it with him on top. Me on top. Me on my side.
06:47Him on his side?
06:48Oh God, yes. On his back, on his side, on his face.
06:54Have you ever done that?
06:55It's too early to remember.
06:57I'll do it immediately. It is fabulous. These guys in their 20s, they are up for anything.
07:02How'd it go with you and Sam?
07:05We kissed.
07:07Just kissed?
07:09No, we just kissed for five hours.
07:12At the club, in front of the club, on the corner of the club.
07:15I forgot how much fun it is to just kiss, you know?
07:18Even if I did only get two hours sleep.
07:20I didn't sleep at all.
07:23As Samantha went on about her sexual escapades, I glanced down at my arm.
07:27There it was in Bic Blue.
07:2920-something Sam's phone number.
07:31I had this sudden urge to call.
07:33But I just left him.
07:34How my lips were still swollen.
07:36Why the sudden craving?
07:38Are men in their 20s the new designer drug?
07:41Yes, Samantha, Miranda and I were all recreational users.
07:45But were we getting into something we couldn't handle?
07:48Okay, we were attracted to younger men for various reasons.
07:51But I couldn't help but wonder, what do they see in us?
07:55Women in their 30s, I'm just so grateful.
07:58It's like every bullshit nice thing you do is like throwing food to the starving.
08:07It gets great hat.
08:09I know a lot about wine.
08:13It reminds me of my mom.
08:20They know who they are, and what they want, and I like that.
08:26I take it!
08:28I take it, man.
08:30Fuck!
08:31Two words, smart pussy.
08:35Shoot it!
08:37Later that week, Miranda and I compared notes.
08:39Shouldn't we be dating men our own age?
08:41Good luck finding one.
08:42There are no available men in their 30s in New York.
08:45Giuliani had them removed along with the homeless.
08:49Well, so then what's really going on here?
08:50I mean, is it younger men feel safer?
08:53What's really going on here is sex.
08:55Good, old-fashioned, eager to please, do what I tell you to, Eagle Scout, sex.
08:59Yeah, but I'm not having sex.
09:01It's a kissing thing.
09:02So what's the big deal?
09:04It's just a fling.
09:05It's not like we're throwing out our schedules or anything.
09:07Oh, sweetie, I gotta go.
09:09Yeah?
09:09I'm late for a meeting with my editor.
09:11Bye!
09:11Bye!
09:14I didn't want to tell her I cancelled lunch with my editor
09:16to go to Banana Republic and help 20-something Sam pick out a shirt.
09:23Come here.
09:26As I helped him try them on, I thought,
09:29He's sweet. He's fun.
09:30And I think he likes me.
09:32Could he be more than a fling?
09:33Could he be a potential boyfriend?
09:36Please.
09:38This isn't the gap.
09:42Sorry.
09:42And speaking of potential boyfriends,
09:45later that week the crossword puzzle asked me to meet him for a drink blank.
09:49Not quite a date. Five letters. Starts with a T.
09:56Yeah, whoever this is, I can't talk. I'm late for a drink thing.
09:59I just need five minutes. I'm meeting Brian later and I don't know what to do.
10:02About what?
10:02Well, last night, after a movie, we're walking down 2nd Avenue and we just passed that...
10:07Four minutes, Charlotte!
10:08Okay.
10:09I can't just blurt out what he asked me. It's embarrassing.
10:12What?
10:12What did the perfect boyfriend ask?
10:16Meet me in front of your apartment in ten minutes.
10:30I want us to have anal sex.
10:32Okay, next stop is going to be 62nd and Madison.
10:3562nd and Madison?
10:36We're picking up Miranda.
10:37No! God, no!
10:38Yes, and then we're picking up Samantha.
10:39Oh, Carrie, no!
10:40Sweetie, listen, you need all the girl support you can get and I'm late for drinks with Big.
10:44Oh, that's great.
10:45Even in her state of abject blackness, Charlotte was a dating optimist.
10:49It all depends how much do you like him.
10:51A lot.
10:52Dating a few months until somebody better comes along a lot or marrying and moving to East Hampton a lot.
10:57I don't know. I'm not sure.
10:58Well, you better get to her real quick.
11:00You're scaring me. Okay.
11:01Don't scare her. It's all about control.
11:04If he goes up there, there's going to be a shift in power.
11:07Either he'll have the upper hand or you will.
11:09Now, there's a certain camp that believe whoever holds the dick holds the power, but...
11:12Hello? You're driving!
11:15The question is, if he goes up your butt, will he respect you more or respect you less?
11:19That's the issue.
11:21No, no smoking cap.
11:23Sir, we're talking up the butt. A cigarette is in order.
11:26Front back, who cares? A hole is a hole.
11:29Can I quote you?
11:30Oh, don't be so judgmental. You could use a little back door.
11:33I'm not a hole.
11:35Honey, we know.
11:35Look, all I'm saying is that this is, this is a physical expression that the body was, well, it was
11:40designed to experience.
11:41And P.S.
11:42It's fabulous.
11:43What are you talking about? I went to Smith.
11:46Look, I'm just saying, with the right guy, and the right lubricant...
11:53What was that?
11:55A preview?
12:00Sorry.
12:03Thanks.
12:07Well, I can't believe it.
12:11Same time, same place.
12:14Just you and me.
12:17Well, sort of.
12:19Meet my friend Jack.
12:22Oh, hi. How are ya?
12:26Marvelous. Going through my second divorce. Bitches getting everything the first bitch didn't.
12:30There he was.
12:31Right in the middle of my drink thing.
12:34Mr. Marvelous.
12:36Jesus.
12:37Look at that beautiful woman.
12:40I'm gonna go ask her to join us for dinner. Excuse me.
12:43Okay.
12:50He, uh, called me crying.
12:57Do you forgive me?
13:00Here's what.
13:05Why don't you two have a guy's night?
13:08You know, talk, cry, shoot bear.
13:11I'm way behind on my column anyway.
13:13Here. Next round, on me.
13:16We'll do our thing another time.
13:19Are you sure?
13:24Abso-fucking-lutely.
13:27I didn't know what I was supposed to feel.
13:29Confused, sad, rejected.
13:32I decided to walk to clear my head.
13:34Also, I just left my cab fare on the table.
13:37So I walked.
13:38I walked 48 blocks in $400 shoes.
13:47I just needed something to take the edge off.
13:54A little kiss to make me feel better.
13:57Come on!
14:01Come on!
14:03Come on!
14:04Come on!
14:05Come on!
14:05Come on!
14:08Come on!
14:10But now it wasn't working.
14:12I wasn't getting the same rush.
14:14Tonight, I needed more.
14:17Meanwhile, uptown, Charlotte wondered when relationships had gotten so complicated.
14:21She yearned for the time when dinner was followed by dessert, not lubricant.
14:26I can't, Brian, I can't.
14:28I want to, but I can't.
14:30I mean, actually, no, that's not true.
14:32I don't want to.
14:33Or maybe I do.
14:33I don't know what I want.
14:34But I'm afraid if I don't, then you'll dump me.
14:36And if I do, then I'll be the up-the-butt girl.
14:38And I don't want to be the up-the-butt girl because, I mean, men don't marry the up-the
14:41-butt girl.
14:42Whoever heard of Mrs. Up-the-Butt?
14:43No, no, no.
14:44I can't.
14:46I want children, a nice bedding, and I just can't handle this right now.
14:51Can we fuck the regular way?
14:55Yes, please.
15:01That night, they made love the Charlotte way.
15:04Polite and respectful on 300-count Egyptian cotton sheets.
15:11Meanwhile, downtown...
15:13That was really great.
15:18You know, when you lay like that, you have the cutest little wrinkles in your neck.
15:27Samantha realized as long as she dated someone younger, she would always be older.
15:32She gave up 20-somethings right then and there.
15:34As Samantha went cold turkey, I got in deeper and deeper.
15:47Well, that was...
15:49Totally awesome.
15:50I was hooked.
15:52I was hooked.
15:52Gone.
15:52Who cares about age, crossword puzzles, the cab money I'd left on the table.
15:56This felt so good.
15:58I'd do anything to keep this high.
16:00And just when I thought I couldn't get any higher, he spooned me.
16:13I woke up wanting more.
16:15Or maybe not.
16:17In the gray morning light, everything looked completely different.
16:22Candles from Urban Outfitter, dirty laundry, a pizza box.
16:26Suddenly, reality hit.
16:29But I'm in a 20-something apartment.
16:33Morning, babe.
16:34Morning.
16:35Fuck, I had this amazing dream.
16:39My father and my ex-girlfriend were like dead or something.
16:43How are you doing?
16:44I'm just going to see you.
16:45Coffee.
16:46I need coffee.
16:47Yeah, it's in the kitchen.
16:48I had these big hands.
16:51Like big aluminum hands.
16:54And I lived in this like big missile silo that was totally nuclear.
16:59And it was surrounded by like my enemies and shit.
17:02And one by one, they'd run at me.
17:04I mean, they got inside somehow.
17:06I don't remember.
17:07But they would like run at me.
17:09And I would crush them to pieces with my big aluminum hands.
17:13Like I crushed this one guy.
17:15He had no face and stuff.
17:16But I crushed him.
17:19I could crush anything with these big fucking hands, man.
17:23You don't have any coffee.
17:25You don't have any coffee filters.
17:27I'll make that.
17:27I'm sorry.
17:28Oh, you were in a dream.
17:31As this beautiful unicorn woman with glass ice.
17:35You coffee, me bathroom.
17:37That'd make a kick-ass song, wouldn't it?
17:40Unicorn woman.
17:42Coffee.
17:49Oh, that's my roommate.
17:53Every fiber in my 30-something bean was screaming,
17:56Get out.
17:57You're too old for this.
17:58And just when I thought I couldn't sink any lower.
18:03I need toilet paper.
18:05I'm just using the last of it to make the coffee.
18:08Coffee.
18:14I decided the only way to break free was to move from one addiction to an even bigger one.
18:21Shoes.
18:23A couple of blocks and way too much money later,
18:26I realized I had just entered an interesting chapter in my life.
18:30I had outgrown the boys of my past and not quite grown into the men of my future.
18:34Hey.
18:36Hi.
18:37Hello.
18:37Hi, how are you?
18:38Why is it, in a city of 10 million men,
18:41you always see the one you don't want and never see the one you...
18:44Hi.
18:45Hi.
18:47What are you doing down there?
18:49Oh, it's a wobbly table.
18:50Guess I have the touch.
18:52Would you care to join us?
18:54Hinge.
18:55What?
18:56Your crossword puzzle.
18:58Five-letter word to bring together hinge.
19:01Well, nice seeing you.
19:02Bye.
19:03Bye.
19:04Excuse me.
19:05Hey, just so you know, I would have gotten hinge on my own.
19:09Maybe.
19:10I have no doubt.
19:12Now that I've got Jack hooked up on sale again, maybe we could have dinner sometime?
19:15Gotcha.
19:16Hmm, I don't know.
19:18I'm good at crossword puzzles, I'm just not so good at people puzzles.
19:22Anywhere you want.
19:23Just you and me.
19:27Call me.
19:30As I walked away, I had a thought.
19:32Maybe all men are a drug.
19:33Sometimes they bring you down.
19:35And sometimes, like now, they get you so high.
19:40Damn.
19:41It would have been so cool if I hadn't looked back.
19:45Okay.
19:48Okay.