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00:06Brian Kinney, a father.
00:09It's true. I was there. I saw it happen with my own eyes.
00:12Talk about conceiving of the inconceivable.
00:14Or is it the other way around?
00:15Would you give the guy a break?
00:17Couldn't be worse than my daddy was.
00:18Or mine. Not that I remember him.
00:21So what's next?
00:22PTA parent, little league coach, scout master?
00:26They don't allow clears in the scouts.
00:28They're afraid we'll induct new recruits.
00:30I only go out with men who've already enlisted.
00:33So, uh, who's he look like?
00:35Well, he's got Brian's eyes and mouth and Lindsay's nose.
00:40Well, he's got Melanie's dick. We're in big trouble.
00:44You should see the pictures I took. He's so adorable.
00:46And one of them, he's actually playing with himself.
00:49Who, Brian?
00:50No, the baby.
00:52Can you imagine he's only been in the world about an hour and already he's pulling his pud?
00:56Excuse me.
00:57Yeah?
00:57Can you tell me where men's jockey shorts are?
01:00Aisle four.
01:02Thanks.
01:03Sure.
01:05Well, that proves the theory. We've all got dick on the brain from womb to tomb.
01:09Speak for yourself.
01:11I am.
01:12Yeah, go for it.
01:14Are you watching that filthy website again?
01:15You can't believe this guy. He must be at least ten inches.
01:18Dad? Dad?
01:20Can I put you on hold one moment, please?
01:22Yes, Mr. Warchacker.
01:23Have you finished going over the grovnik returns?
01:25Oh, yes, sir. I just printed them out.
01:29There they are.
01:30Federal and state.
01:31Thanks.
01:32You're welcome.
01:34Mr. Warchacker.
01:41Sorry, the boss.
01:42Shit, you better be careful.
01:43The last thing you need is for him to catch you on comequick.com.
01:46Oh, please. That guy's so blind, he's yet to figure out his wife's been boinking his business partner for the
01:50last five years.
01:51How do you think he's going to find out about me?
01:53I'll catch you later.
01:54Later.
01:55Later.
01:57Remember that story we all read in high school?
02:00You know, the one about the prisoners chained in the cave?
02:02Plato or whoever?
02:04All they could see were shadows on a wall, so after a while they started thinking that was reality.
02:09Well, in a way, that's what Ted's like.
02:11It's been so long since he's had sex with someone he didn't download,
02:14he's forgotten that all those perfect bodies and perfect faces aren't real.
02:18That no one's really there.
02:19That they're only shadows.
02:23Then again, whoever got anal warts in a chat room.
02:33Michael.
02:49The difference between our beer and their beer is that our beer says sex.
02:56Not Clydesdales.
03:01If you want to be cool, if you want to be popular, if you want to get laid, this is
03:09what you drink.
03:11But what about the model?
03:12Are you sure he isn't too, um, gay?
03:20Ladies?
03:21I wouldn't care if he was.
03:23I'd go to bed with him anyway.
03:26What do you think?
03:30I hadn't thought about it.
03:48Guess what I was doing last night?
03:50Sleeping?
03:50Same as me?
03:52Having sex.
03:53All night.
03:54With that guy I met, Brian Kinney.
03:56We did it till six in the morning.
04:02Well, aren't you shocked?
04:04Not really.
04:07Oh.
04:10Well, I kind of figured that you were, you know, even though you never told me.
04:17I'm telling you now.
04:22Want some of my Reggie Rock?
04:24Hut, hut, hut.
04:27So is it like.
04:30Well, I started out as a tight end, but wound up a wide receiver.
04:34Hut, hut, hut.
04:36Come on, win your arms.
04:38Come on.
04:38Thanks.
04:39Focus, you guys.
04:41Good to meet you.
04:42Thanks, honey.
04:44Thanks.
04:50He's married.
04:51Uh-huh.
04:52With two children.
04:53Ah, a family man.
04:56Excuse me.
04:57Could you tell me where the men's room is?
04:59Yeah, it's just down the hall and to the left.
05:02Thanks.
05:06That's a long trip.
05:09You might get lost.
05:11I'm sure you'll show him the way.
05:15There I was on my back.
05:17And there he was on top of me, slipping it in.
05:20That must have hurt.
05:22Didn't it hurt?
05:23Yeah, at first I felt like someone was shoving a broom up there.
05:26But I told him to go slower, and he did.
05:29Then I stopped thinking about it when I looked at his face.
05:33His eyes were closed.
05:35His mouth was open, and a sort of smile.
05:38Like he was in another place.
05:40A beautiful place.
05:43That place was me.
05:46And his body.
05:47God.
05:48Like, his body was so amazing.
05:50I could see every muscle.
05:54He said he wanted to stay inside me forever.
05:56And I wanted him to.
06:00But I still feel him.
06:02Like, he's still there.
06:06Christ.
06:06Daphne.
06:08Everybody talks about having sex.
06:12But I really did it.
06:24I had to piss during that whole pitch.
06:27Didn't think I could hold it.
06:32Your presentation was very impressive.
06:34Think so?
06:41Yeah, it was very impressive.
06:45Well, I'm glad you liked it.
06:47Because that's what we're here for.
06:50To please the client.
06:53So, like, what is he now?
06:55Your boyfriend?
06:57We just met.
07:00Well, do you love him?
07:02I don't know.
07:06Yeah.
07:07I love him.
07:08Does he love you?
07:10You said he did.
07:11When?
07:12Well, when he was about to shoot.
07:15He was moving really fast.
07:16And he let out this groan like nothing I'd ever heard before.
07:19And that's when he said it.
07:20Right when he came.
07:21He said,
07:23I love you.
07:24Then he leaned in and kissed me.
07:32Well, I guess we better be getting back.
07:34Yeah, I guess so.
07:38It's been a pleasure.
07:41It can be even more of one.
07:44Excuse me.
07:55No, I'm never wrong.
07:58Huh?
07:59Oh, nothing, buddy.
08:00I don't kiss.
08:02Yeah.
08:03Right.
08:24Why don't you come with us to the movies?
08:26I told you I don't want to.
08:27He doesn't want to.
08:29Come on.
08:29We can go to the mall afterwards.
08:31I'll buy you those jeans.
08:33I don't feel like it.
08:34He doesn't feel like it.
08:37Would you get the fuck away?
08:39He said bye.
08:40I'll say a lot worse if you don't leave me alone.
08:42Molly, leave him alone.
08:43And your father and I have asked you to please not use those words.
08:45in front of your sister.
08:46She's not my sister.
08:48She's a bacterial infection for which I hope one day they find a cure.
08:51Tell you what.
08:53You can drive.
08:54I don't want to drive.
08:56He doesn't want to drive.
08:59Are you just going to sit here all day?
09:03Are you?
09:04I don't know.
09:05He doesn't.
09:11Well, I expect you to be here when we get back.
09:15You hear me?
09:17Come on, Molly.
09:36And now back to our feature film presentation, Dirty Dancing, starring Patrick Swayze.
09:46Mr. Novotny?
09:47Mike.
09:48Mike, I was wondering if...
09:51Well, you know those boxes you wanted me to move?
09:53I mean, I don't want to seem like I'm shirking or anything, but they're kind of heavy.
09:56Do you think one of the guys could maybe give me a hand?
09:58Yeah, no problem.
09:59I can get somebody to help you.
10:01Oh, that'd be great.
10:02Okay.
10:02I'll be over on L14.
10:04Okay.
10:05Okay.
10:06Yes, Your Majesty.
10:07Somebody should tell her Princess Di is dead and they're not looking for a replacement.
10:12The boxes are heavy.
10:13And there's nothing wrong with asking for help.
10:15I think she's kind of sweet, actually.
10:17You think she's sweet?
10:19Well, I don't really know her, but yeah.
10:21What about cute?
10:24Yeah, she's cute.
10:26Well, she thinks you're cute, too.
10:29She does?
10:31She likes you a lot, but she didn't know if you liked her, so I said I'd find out.
10:36So you don't really think she's stuck up?
10:38No, she's a doll.
10:40You know, I never heard you say you liked a girl before.
10:44Well, I...
10:44In fact, I've never heard you say anything about girls.
10:49You like girls, don't you?
10:52Sure.
10:53So then you'll come with us after work tonight.
10:56We're taking her out for a drink.
10:57I don't think I can.
10:58I...
10:58No excuses.
11:00Shoeless Joe, 7.30.
11:02And do something about your hair.
11:06It was a trap.
11:08Hey, see that number in the red shorts?
11:11I could work out for a hundred years and never look like that.
11:14Pretending she didn't like her just to see what I'd say.
11:17Sean Peters?
11:18Went home with him the other night thinking he was this brutal top.
11:21And?
11:21And I fell for it.
11:23Turns out, he's a big Nelly bottom.
11:26I could have told you that.
11:28Oh, it's so discouraging.
11:29Are there no real men left?
11:31And now they're expecting me to meet them?
11:32Steroid City?
11:33No, in this street bar.
11:34Is there anyone here listening?
11:36There's this new girl at work who's interested in you.
11:39Pat Marley tricked you into meeting her and some of the others for a drink after work,
11:41and now you have to go, or they might suspect.
11:44Check out Mr. Peck Deck.
11:45So what if they do?
11:47I could fire him.
11:48Or I could end up an assistant manager for the rest of my life.
11:51And the solution is to pretend you like pussy?
11:54Look, he's not like you, okay?
11:57What is that supposed to mean?
11:58Meaning he's not an obviously gay man.
12:01Are you accusing me of being obvious?
12:03If the fuck me pump fits.
12:08Well, I could be a real man if I wanted to.
12:11You know, just lower my voice.
12:13Stop gesturing with my hands.
12:16Make sure my face is expressionless.
12:17Never, never use words like fabulous or divine.
12:22Talk about, I don't know, nailing bitches and RBIs.
12:27But I'd rather my flame burn bright than be some puny little pilot light.
12:32And a fabulous flame it is.
12:35But Michael is out there in the straight world.
12:38Believe me, it isn't easy.
12:41You do what you have to do.
12:44I better go change.
12:45For your big days?
12:49Ooh, here's a sports mag.
12:50Better bone up.
12:53Just in case the conversation veers away from Laz's weight problem.
13:01Justin, did you hear me?
13:02I said you're not going.
13:03I'm going.
13:04You were just there last night.
13:05So what?
13:07So, I was planning to take you and your sister out for pizza.
13:11You...
13:14You know, I expect you to clean up this mess.
13:16I don't understand why you have to spend all your time with Daphne.
13:20Of all the beautiful clothes your father and I bought for you,
13:23you have to pick something that no longer fits.
13:25That is too tight.
13:27That's why.
13:30Justin.
13:33Don't want to get a kiss, go ahead.
13:42I expect you to call.
14:00We need a secret code word like Shazam,
14:03so that if I get in a tight spot, you come in and rescue me.
14:06Tight spot?
14:07How about butt plug?
14:11Butt plug might be a little hard to work into a conversation.
14:13Because that's what you are, pretending you're one of them.
14:16I couldn't help it.
14:17Well, you could have told her the truth
14:19instead of acting like a scared little faggot.
14:21You should have just said,
14:22take it up your ass, sweetheart.
14:24Deal with it.
14:24Right.
14:25By the way, I noticed you got the Jeep repainted.
14:30Tricky.
14:36God, this place is like Breeder Central.
14:40Butt plug, butt plug, butt plug, butt plug.
14:45See you, Mikey.
14:50See you, Mikey.
14:51We should want to watch you into the game.
14:54Everything's gonna be fine.
14:57Little darling, little darling life.
15:04A day or a lifetime, it don't matter to me.
15:09As long as you are by my side.
15:13Where you been?
15:14Thought you got lost.
15:15Uh, last minute business.
15:17Slide it on in.
15:18Har.
15:19Move your hairy ass.
15:24Thanks.
15:28What do you have?
15:29Uh, same as everybody else.
15:32Good choice.
15:33Uh, bring over another picture.
15:35Hi.
15:36Hi.
15:37Glad you could make it.
15:39I told you he'd be here, didn't I?
15:41Not to worry.
15:42I wasn't worried.
15:43Now just make sure he's not seeing anyone
15:45before you get all logy-dogy.
15:47Marley, would you shut up and leave it alone?
15:51You're not seeing anyone, are you?
15:53Me?
15:56No.
15:57Well, that's good.
15:59I mean...
16:00I understand.
16:01If you want to get involved with someone,
16:03you're involved already.
16:06So, are you?
16:08Seeing anyone?
16:09No, we just broke out.
16:10Oh.
16:11Sorry.
16:12Oh, don't be.
16:13He was a real doofus.
16:16Only, I didn't know it at the time.
16:17There's so much you don't know at the time.
16:20Isn't that the truth?
16:22Like, can you believe?
16:23He didn't even know how to fix a sink.
16:26Really?
16:27He called me at work saying,
16:28what should I do?
16:29I said, I don't care what you do.
16:31Buy some cement.
16:33Get a corp.
16:33Use chewing gum.
16:35But plug it up.
16:40But, like...
16:48A million dollars.
16:49That's the general idea.
16:51A million fucking dollars?
16:52Brian, please.
16:53You'll wake the baby.
16:54Well, the answer's no.
16:56Definitely not.
16:58I don't understand the problem.
16:59I mean, Lindsay told me you offered to help support him.
17:02It was very generous.
17:03Well, that's different than a life insurance policy.
17:05It's simply in case something happens to you.
17:08Like I'm decapitated at a railroad crossing.
17:10Or burned beyond recognition in some gas explosion.
17:13You know, I can just imagine the grisly deaths you've conjured up for me.
17:17Like in case you get sick.
17:20Like...
17:21Ah.
17:23Even better.
17:24Considering your life.
17:25I mean, when's the last time you were tested?
17:27Six months ago.
17:28I was negative.
17:29That's 26 weeks and 182 one-night stands.
17:33You know, I've always admired people who could multiply in their heads.
17:36And I'm always careful.
17:38Look, this isn't for us.
17:39It's for our son.
17:41We need to make sure he'll be provided for.
17:42And all I have to do is die.
17:44Hopefully, not before you sign these papers.
17:51You won't be laughing for the Super Bowl time when we're up against the Titans.
17:54Don't stand a chance.
17:55Don't say that.
17:56You've got to believe.
17:57Right, Mike?
17:58Like Cher.
18:02You watch football?
18:06Constantly.
18:08So, what do you think?
18:12What do I think?
18:16I think.
18:19Due to free agency, we've lost some of our best players.
18:22Still, our defense is strong.
18:23But we need a new scheme from our offensive coordinator to move the ball.
18:30That's just what I said.
18:32Oh.
18:40Hello, sports fans.
18:42I'm coming to get you.
18:44It's okay.
18:44I'm having a really good time.
18:45She's really, really nice.
18:47She's really nice.
18:49Do you think she and her friends would be really nice if they knew the little charades you were
18:52playing?
18:53They'd probably tie you to a fence and bash your brains in.
18:56They're not like that.
18:57Not like that, huh?
18:59Listen to me, Mikey.
19:00Are you listening?
19:01Yeah, I'm listening.
19:03There's only two kinds of straight people in this world.
19:06The ones that hate you to your face, and the ones that hate you behind your back.
19:10Now get the fuck out of there.
19:13Because I need you.
19:16Stay with me.
19:17I need you guys.
19:18You get me here.
19:19You get me here.
19:20Oh, I need you guys.
19:21Have I ever changed?
19:23I'd love to keep you things.
19:24I'd love you to be better.
19:26Stay.
19:26Think about what you're trying to do with me.
19:29Yeah, stay.
19:30Yeah.
19:31Get your mind go.
19:31Let me set me free.
19:33Yeah.
19:33Yeah!
19:39Hi.
19:42Oh shit, just what I need. What's his name?
19:45Justin. His name's Justin.
19:46If I can remember, I didn't even fuck him. Why can't you?
19:50Because I did.
19:56So, Dawson, how are things down at the creek?
20:00Thank you, Victor.
20:07You know, for a silly white boy, I make one fucking fabulous black woman.
20:12How about another round on me?
20:14I got a better idea. Let's move on.
20:17What's wrong with here?
20:18I've had everyone here.
20:19My problem, precisely.
20:21You haven't had me.
20:23Oh yeah?
20:25What?
20:26You never told us.
20:27There is nothing to tell.
20:30We were up in his room.
20:31We were 14, 15 tops.
20:35We're supposed to be studying whatever.
20:37Only we're not.
20:38We're looking at this trashy photo mag as mom swiped from the beauty parlor.
20:42Anyway, there's this shot of Patrick Swayze from Dirty Dancing.
20:47Without his shirt on.
20:49So I've got this hard on just from looking at it and I glance over at Mikey and guess what?
20:54He's got one too.
20:56Okay, you can stop now.
20:58Twins, Diffies.
21:00I reach over and start rubbing it.
21:03It's practically swooning.
21:05I pop it out and start stroking it nice and slow.
21:11We're both this close.
21:17His mom walks in without knocking at us.
21:20We always do.
21:21Did she see you?
21:23I don't see how she could have missed it.
21:24Only we didn't come, so it doesn't count.
21:28Dirty Dancing.
21:30That's a really old movie.
21:32What?
21:33I said that's a really old movie.
21:34It's not that old.
21:36How old are you?
21:38I don't know.
21:40How old do you think I am?
21:4433?
21:46Fuck you.
21:48He's 29.
21:49And fuck you too.
21:50What did you tell him for?
21:51Fair's fair.
21:52We all know what that means.
21:53In a few months you'll be 30.
21:55Might as well be dead.
21:58Well, you ought to know.
22:00You already are.
22:05Oh no you don't.
22:07Come back here.
22:08You're not sticking us with that kid.
22:10He's your responsibility.
22:11Now get back in there.
22:13You know I'm getting a little sick of people telling me what's my responsibility.
22:16If Lindsay and Melanie want to go off and have a kid, that's their responsibility.
22:20If what's his name?
22:20Justin wants to go out and pick up guys while he's still in high school, that's his responsibility.
22:25My responsibility is to myself.
22:27I don't owe anybody a goddamn thing.
22:28Calm down.
22:37It's okay.
22:40It's okay.
22:43Why do people get off thinking I'm not a kind person?
22:48Who said that?
22:50Ted, for example, thinks I'm a heartless shit.
22:54It's your appeal.
22:56Plus he's just jealous and lonely and...
23:02I happen to be very kind.
23:05Very loving.
23:12Hey Zack.
23:13How's it going?
23:14Not bad.
23:16How's Peter?
23:18Still dead?
23:22Shit.
23:23I forgot.
23:26Well, if anyone has any doubts about how kind and loving you are,
23:30that should convince them.
23:39Anyone up for Babylon?
23:40I was thinking boy toy.
23:41No, I haven't been snubbed by a Twinkie in weeks.
23:45What about him?
23:47What about him?
23:48Well, we can't just leave him here.
23:51It's not our problem.
23:52He's mine?
23:53No, Brian's your problem.
23:55Let him clean up his own mess for a change.
23:57Don't waste your Friday night babysitting.
24:16I came all the way here just to see him.
24:17He doesn't want anything to do with me.
24:20Yeah, well...
24:21The thing you gotta know about Brian is...
24:24He's not your boyfriend.
24:26Brian doesn't do boyfriends.
24:28Yeah, well...
24:29You weren't there when we were doing it.
24:31You don't know the things we did.
24:34He kissed me.
24:37You don't know anything.
24:39I know this.
24:40Brian is a selfish prick who doesn't care about anyone but himself.
24:45If I were you, I'd just forget about him.
24:49Hiya, boys.
24:50You getting any tonight?
24:52I haven't seen you around here before.
24:54He's new.
24:55And cute.
24:56Every guy in the place has his eye on you tonight, sweetheart.
24:59Can we order?
25:00Shoot.
25:01Thought that it'll be the first time tonight, am I right?
25:04I'll have the chicken fried steak.
25:06No remarks.
25:07And I'll have a bacon cheeseburger.
25:09Please?
25:11Please.
25:12You gotta kick your strength up, sunshine.
25:13You can't cruise all night on an empty stomach.
25:18What a freak.
25:22Yeah, she takes some getting used to, but once you do, you can't help but love her.
25:26One chicken fried steak with no remarks coming up in a flash.
25:29Thanks, Mom.
25:31You're welcome, baby.
25:45You're, like, so lucky.
25:47I am.
25:48Your mom's cool about you being gay.
25:50If mine found out, she'd kill me.
25:52At least it gives her a sense of purpose.
25:53Without me, she'd be playing bingo instead of organizing pride marches.
25:56Handing out condoms.
25:58Do you need a ride?
25:59Uh, I borrowed a friend's car.
26:01Oh, you don't have a little beamer of your own?
26:03I'm working on it.
26:04Just remember what I told you about Brian.
26:06If you're such a selfish prick, how come you're always following him around?
26:09I am not always following him around.
26:12We're best friends.
26:13We accept each other for who we are.
26:15No judgments, no obligations, no questions asked.
26:19You're just waiting for him to finish jerking you off.
26:22What?
26:23He never got off.
26:24That's why you're still hanging around after all these years.
26:26Go on, chicken.
26:27Back to your coop.
26:30Don't go looking for him.
26:31It'll just make things worse.
26:36Ready, sweetie?
26:41Did he take off?
26:44Just as well.
26:46He was a little too young for you.
27:00I hope we weren't too hard on him.
27:02Who, Brian?
27:04All that talk about the insurance.
27:06It almost sounded like we were hoping something might happen to him.
27:08We're just being practical.
27:10I mean, he's the father, isn't he?
27:12It only makes sense that his son should be his beneficiary.
27:21I'm just saying maybe we should have waited until he was over the initial shock.
27:27What shock?
27:28You're the one who gave birth.
27:29All he did was show up with his latest trick.
27:31At least he showed up.
27:32Oh, Christ, it never ceases to amaze me.
27:34What?
27:35The way you put up with his shit.
27:36Shh.
27:37I don't put up with it.
27:38Like hell.
27:39I understand it.
27:40Him.
27:41What?
27:42That he's a bigger infant than his son?
27:44That he does exactly what he wants.
27:45No excuses, no apologies.
27:47I've always admired him for that.
27:49Well, then you can put up with it.
27:50I don't have to.
27:52Come on, let's go back to sleep.
27:54For an hour.
28:04Yes.
28:06So, are you going out cruising after you drop me off?
28:09No, I've been invited to an all-night orgy.
28:12Woo!
28:13Sounds hot!
28:15If you must know, I am going back to my gay apartment, taking off my gay clothes, and
28:20getting into my gay bed.
28:23You're in a mood.
28:25Goddamn Brian.
28:27What did you do this time?
28:31Never mind.
28:33I wish you wouldn't let him get to you.
28:38But he always does.
28:41That's why I keep hoping that you'll meet somebody.
28:54Where are all the lights off?
28:56Something must be wrong with Vic.
28:58Vic?
29:00Baby?
29:03Is everything all right?
29:05Just couldn't sleep.
29:07Hey, Mikey.
29:08Can you go back?
29:09Are you in pain?
29:11Yeah.
29:12Where?
29:12Tell me.
29:13My wallet.
29:18Holy shit!
29:19What is it?
29:20It's the Mastercard bill from our trip to Italy.
29:23First class airline tickets.
29:25The Excelsior in Rome.
29:27The diamond and coral earrings I bought you in Capri.
29:30They're all here.
29:32The problem is so am I.
29:34Don't say that!
29:36It's a miracle you're still alive.
29:38It's a miracle.
29:39How am I going to pay for all of this?
29:42Hustle?
29:42The world?
29:43What?
29:46What?
29:48What?
29:49Oh!
29:51Oh!
29:54Oh!
29:55Oh!
29:56Oh!
29:56Oh!
30:06It's you, you, you again, creamy crush with the sun coming up, glance, look, stare, stick
30:19in my heart, oh, it beats so fast, so fast it stops.
30:24I think we gel like gel, jelly baby, come on, make it happen, peach ma'alipoo.
30:53I think Swayze is so hot.
31:10I think Swayze is so hot.
31:23I've seen Dirty Dancing like five times.
31:27I wouldn't give the fuck I'm gonna say that, Brian.
31:31You're so pathetic.
31:34First I'd unzip his fly, then I'd pull out his king-sized boner, play with it real slow.
31:44Oh, yeah?
31:46Hey, Mikey, you have a woody.
31:50I do not.
31:54We'll have to do something about that.
32:02Glance, look, stare, stick in my heart, oh, it beats so fast, so fast it stops.
32:09Hi, babes!
32:10Ma!
32:11Can't you knock?
32:12I forgot to tell you, we're having a yard sale, so if you want to throw anything out.
32:17Oh, don't tell him you still have a crush on him.
32:36I'd fuck you.
32:44Top floor, come on up.
32:50Christ, what are you-
32:50Sorry, I don't want to-
32:52You can't just drop by unannounced.
32:53I just want to talk.
32:55There's nothing to talk about.
32:56Please?
32:57I won't stay long, I'll just-
32:58Can I-
32:59No.
33:01Oh, shit.
33:09The door was about to shut, so I slipped in.
33:18Who knows?
33:19Not bad.
33:21Who's this?
33:23No one.
33:24I have to see you.
33:25I'm busy.
33:26I don't mind a threesome.
33:28Although he's kind of young.
33:30He's also kind of leaving.
33:31Who's he?
33:32Forgive me for not introducing you.
33:34Justin, this is Mr. Goodfuck.
33:36Mr. Goodfuck, may I present Justin.
33:38Name's George.
33:40Sorry.
33:41George.
33:42George.
33:42Goodfuck.
33:44You don't even know him.
33:45Well, I was hoping to get to.
33:47Now, why don't you just scamper on home?
33:52He's my stalker.
33:54Ed wasn't very kind.
33:56I was sending him off, a kid that age, by himself at this time of night.
34:01Who are you?
34:01Father Goodfuck?
34:06Oh.
34:07All right.
34:08Make yourself comfortable.
34:12And don't steal anything.
34:17Hey.
34:18Hey!
34:19I just left a complete stranger alone in my apartment to come talk to you, so don't run
34:24away from me.
34:27We need to get something straight.
34:29You don't do boyfriends.
34:31Mikey's been talking to you.
34:33You'll fuck anyone.
34:35He's ugly.
34:36You don't even know him.
34:38And I...
34:38I really...
34:39Justin.
34:42I've had you.
34:45What happened last night?
34:46It was for fun.
34:48You wanted me, and I wanted you.
34:51That's all it was.
34:54Fuck?
34:56Well, what did you think it was?
35:01Look.
35:02I don't believe in love.
35:05I believe in fucking.
35:07It's honest.
35:08It's efficient.
35:09You get in and out with a maximum of pleasure and a minimum of bullshit.
35:15Love is something that straight people tell themselves they're in so they can get laid.
35:19And then they end up hurting each other because it was all based on lies to begin with.
35:25That's what you want.
35:27And go and find yourself a pretty little girl.
35:31And get married.
35:33That's not what I want.
35:36I want you.
35:38You can't have me.
35:39I'm too old.
35:43You're too young for me.
35:44You're 17.
35:45I'm 28.
35:4529.
35:48All right.
35:5029.
35:52All the more reason.
35:56I'll go do your homework.
35:58If I could lay me down now.
36:04If I could lay me down now.
36:06If I could pray and sleep.
36:09The night never ending.
36:15My weary soul to keep.
36:21If I could lay me down now.
36:24If I could lay me down now.
36:24If I could lay me down now.
36:27In a dream you sleep.