- 2 days ago
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00:03Look, Kath, I'm recycling the moos.
00:06Turn the water off, Kel.
00:07Sorry, Kath.
00:08You don't need to rinse them out.
00:09We're on stage nine water restrictions.
00:11Yeah, but look, all nice and clean for the recycle men.
00:15You're right about recycling, Kath.
00:16You know, we all need to do our business.
00:19Hey, I'm watching that.
00:20I have to.
00:21That's how they do with you back yesterday.
00:23Yeah, well, you can't be on YouTube and watch the TV at the same time.
00:27It's just a girl.
00:28I'm not the stupid one.
00:30Well, anyway, I'm here to tell you.
00:31We're going to have a screen-free evening tonight.
00:33Kim, we're all going to sit down as a family and play a board game.
00:36Board?
00:37Sounds about wrong.
00:38If everyone's home for tea, Kel, I have to do a bit of a shock.
00:41So, remind me to get all my green bags for you.
01:00All right, Kel, here we go.
01:01I'll just buy some more.
01:02I can never have too many.
01:14Who wrote the classic novel Captain Underpants?
01:17The lady became a Hollywood blockbuster starring Cate Blanchett as the Underpants.
01:22Bryce Courtney.
01:23I read it on the plane to Perth in 2004.
01:26No, Kel, it's Dav Pilkey.
01:29Dav Pilkey.
01:30Is there something like that?
01:31Yep.
01:33That might be wrong.
01:35I'll just put that to the side.
01:37This is nice, isn't it?
01:38Yeah, better than watching the block.
01:39Think of the power we're saving.
01:42Oh, Kim.
01:42Piece of pie.
01:43Yep.
01:44Yes, all right.
01:45It's a science question.
01:47Who were the first two people to land on the moon?
01:50Oh, I know this.
01:52I know this.
01:53Armstrong.
01:54You get Kerry Armstrong and Buzz Lightyear.
01:57Buzz Lightyear?
01:58Kim, Buzz Lightyear is a toy.
01:59Didn't you learn anything?
02:00Well, that's close enough.
02:02Give it to me.
02:02No, you're not getting it.
02:04Well, you're so mean.
02:05You got it wrong.
02:06Mum.
02:07No, Kim.
02:08I can't help it if you're an ignoranus.
02:11Ignoranus.
02:12Ignoranus.
02:12Ignoranus.
02:13Oh, Kim.
02:14Kim.
02:15Oh, stupid girl.
02:18Oh, I wasn't enjoying that.
02:19Oh, look.
02:20Mine are all right.
02:21Let's keep playing.
02:23Four.
02:24I'll get one, two, three, four.
02:26Oh, piece of pie.
02:26Last piece of pie.
02:27Okay.
02:28Film and television.
02:29This one's got your name written all over it, Kat.
02:31All right.
02:32Name three of Barbara Streisand's most recent hit movies.
02:36Oh, easy peasy.
02:39Nuts, Prince of Tides, and Mirror Has Two Faces.
02:44Correct.
02:45Oh.
02:46That's why I love you.
02:48Cool.
02:50Bloody mum.
02:52I'm not dumb, am I?
02:55Um.
02:56Well, I don't know everything about science, but I'm a gracious reader when the topic is
03:00of interest to me.
03:02Like, you know, what people are wearing on red carpet, stuff like that.
03:05Oh, that's pretty good, Kim.
03:08Not like my role in a crap meditation.
03:10And against all advice, let's talk to you soon to become a model.
03:14I've got chewed up and spat out my assistant.
03:16Well, you are pretty, Kim.
03:18I know.
03:20I'm getting worried about Epony, though.
03:22She's starting to look more and more like you.
03:25She'll be all right, then.
03:26I'm serious, Brett.
03:27She's going to have to get a good education if she's going to get anywhere.
03:30She won't be able to rely on her looks like I do.
03:48What do you want?
03:49Here's your breath.
03:51Want your nano?
03:52Want your nano?
03:54You know, Sharon, what she really needs is one of those BVD players you can strap onto
03:58the pram.
04:00If you really cared about her, you would have bought her one of those.
04:02Sorry, Kim.
04:04Well, it's just not good enough.
04:06I've allowed babies to get her, you know, every time I've wanted to go out.
04:10And what do I get to that?
04:11You've taught her deadly.
04:12But she already knew because I taught her.
04:14Well, she's bored, you know.
04:16She needs to spend time with other people who's her own age.
04:19What?
04:19I'm trying to get her into silly sausages on the PNH way.
04:24But they had this mean test.
04:27I was obsessed.
04:28They said I had too much.
04:29Oh, right.
04:30All right, Ips.
04:31All right.
04:32We'll go to Krispy Kreme and get a donut.
04:36All right.
04:37We'll get a tray of donuts then.
04:38I mean, she's so bright.
04:41Yeah, well, this is what's known as fringe theater, Carol.
04:46And it's a play about climate change.
04:48It sounds pretty serious.
04:49Oh, no.
04:50It's a comedy.
04:51Oh, cute.
05:02Look at that, darling, Carol.
05:04Yep.
05:06I'd like to get her back to the fan house.
05:10Oh, I'm not at the winner.
05:20No, one more minute.
05:21One more.
05:22Good job, Krill.
05:23It was a foul day.
05:25You know, it's how I got, she died, and then she ran over her eye dog in her barbecue.
05:29You know, I can't.
05:30I'm tired.
05:31It's all right, Ruby.
05:32You mean Daddy wouldn't let me come here?
05:34No, no, no.
05:34What do you want?
05:35Here you go.
05:36Here you go.
05:37Here you go.
05:37Here you go.
05:38Here you go.
05:38Here you go.
05:38Here you go.
05:40Here you go.
05:53Oh, that was a nice night out.
05:55Yeah, I really enjoyed it, Kel.
05:57Yeah, yeah, yeah.
05:58Didn't understand most of it, though.
06:01Oh, me either, but you know, that's theatre for you.
06:05What's that?
06:07Cat don't say anything.
06:09Not very good for the environment, Mandy.
06:16What do you want?
06:17It's 9.30, Ken.
06:19She's tired.
06:19She wants to go to sleep.
06:20But if she wanted to go to sleep, she'd be asleep.
06:23She's not stupid.
06:25You know, her brain is like a huge squeegee that we have to fill with info 24-7 or she
06:30won't
06:30pass in milestones early.
06:32Well, just turn the light out and let her sleep.
06:36Oh, that's all right, Britt.
06:37Come here down.
06:38No lights on.
06:39No one's home.
06:41Oh, put every light in the house is on.
06:47Go in in two minutes for crawling so she doesn't hear you and put her eye-tod on Baby
06:51Moe's heart shuffle.
06:52Oh, Kim.
06:53Kel and I just went and saw the most amazing piece of theatre at TheatreWorks.
06:56It was all about these people working on an organic farm and trying to make it sustainable.
07:01Oh, so infant.
07:02Talk about a plot and a half.
07:04Well, they only had a plot and a half.
07:05It wasn't quite enough to make the farm rival.
07:07Oh, shut up!
07:09Kim?
07:09I was talking to Ebony.
07:14Now, look at all the packaging on that.
07:16Talk about a waste of the Earth's precious resources.
07:19It's man-made, you fool.
07:21Plastic doesn't come from the Earth.
07:23This is dark.
07:23It's made from petrochemicals.
07:25Oil, which comes from the Earth.
07:26There's the bill now.
07:28Kim, you're eating the plastic wrapping.
07:30I know.
07:31It tastes nicer than the trees.
07:32Anyway, I'm doing my bit of putting it in the recycle.
07:36Look at this mess.
07:38I'm going to sleep, Ebony.
07:40I'm so tired.
07:41You're able to stimulate that baby clip.
07:44Butt out, Mum.
07:46You don't know what it's like to have a really bright child.
07:49I certainly do not.
07:54I'm going to sleep.
07:54I'm going to sleep.
07:55What would you say if I said I wanted to go grey?
07:57I had a good 10 years on you.
07:59I like you as a bottle for them.
08:00Oh, no, Kim.
08:01I'm not here.
08:02Even though I do worry about what all those tanning chemicals are doing to it.
08:05No.
08:06No, I mean grey water, doll.
08:08Oh.
08:08You mean grey water taint?
08:10Yeah.
08:11Oh.
08:11I mean, imagine if all that water in the shower could go on our garden.
08:14Mm-hmm.
08:15We could DIY it, doll.
08:17We could.
08:18Or we could do it ourselves.
08:20Oh, good thinking.
08:21Yeah, that'd save the miller.
08:23Mm-hmm.
08:24We could be able to look for the shop tomorrow.
08:26Oh, I feel something to do.
08:28Yeah.
08:29Well, thanks for that, doll, because you know it is an issue for me.
08:32You are a bit of a green, actually.
08:34Oh, no, Kim.
08:34I just worry.
08:36Yeah.
08:36I mean, that's going to happen to us in 50 years' time.
08:38Oh, why am I not going to be here yet?
08:41Oh, that's not the attitude, doll.
08:42What do you think of that poor little egg?
08:45Oh, why don't we save some water right now?
08:48Mm-hmm.
08:49Oh, keep talking, keep talking.
08:53Bucket, Kel.
08:54What?
08:55Is that a bucket, doll?
08:56Oh, right.
08:58Oh, right.
08:59Oh, cash.
09:02Oh.
09:03Good.
09:04Two minutes, Cheryl, in it.
09:05Sorry, doll.
09:06Oh.
09:11Oh.
09:28Erin!
09:29That was my last go-getter.
09:31What do I do?
09:32Nothing.
09:32No, I'm going to go.
09:34No, I'm going to go.
09:35You're coming.
09:35No, no, get out of my way!
09:35Get out of my way!
09:36Get out of my way!
09:39Now, Kim, look at me, please.
09:41Look at me.
09:42Look at me.
09:44Now, Sharon, look at me, please.
09:47Now, I've got one word to say to you.
09:49You go for that, Gogo Girlfriend.
09:51They're mine.
09:51I paid for them.
09:55Mum!
09:56Don't put them in there.
09:57They're my prosthesis.
09:59What?
09:59They're girls for Ebony.
10:00Oh, you wouldn't believe it.
10:02I've got to put her name down now.
10:03The waiting lists are years old.
10:05I wouldn't believe she's going to go to Specific Drive Primary like you did.
10:08No way, Mum.
10:10Why?
10:10What's wrong with Specific?
10:11It's a great little school.
10:13And they're using the Emilio Parmigiano method, I've heard.
10:16And she can walk there.
10:18No, I really wanted to go private.
10:20Just for the status of it.
10:21Listen to this one.
10:23Apparently, it's got a campus in Dubai,
10:26and in Year 10 all the kids spend a year there learning how to shop independently.
10:30That's awesome.
10:31Cal, are you ready?
10:32I've got you the splash bucket suit.
10:34What's this one, Kimmy?
10:36Flogs.
10:37Looks sexy.
10:38Oh, that's Fountain Lake's Ostentatious Girls Grammar School.
10:42Evidently, it's really hard to get into.
10:44You know, a lot of famous people and footballers send their kids there.
10:47Wow.
10:48So you would be rubbing shoulders, Kim?
10:50Yep.
10:50And they all have these early learning centres, which would be great.
10:53So, best case, Ebony could go to school and get accelerated from the game yet.
10:59Kim, can you afford this?
11:01No, we bloody can't, but they've got scholarships, so today I just want to go and have a look at
11:04a few.
11:05Oh, well, I'd better come with you, Kim, you know, because I really should have a say in what school
11:09my little goddaughter goes to.
11:12Goddaughter?
11:13I've never seen you with a godmother.
11:14The jury's still out on that, Sharon.
11:16Come in.
11:17Come in.
11:17Come in.
11:17Look out.
11:22Oh, my teacher's gonna love this.
11:26Oh, that's right, Kel.
11:27I'm loving the smart car.
11:29Absolutely.
11:30And what about my mission?
11:31I know they say with you.
11:32Yeah.
11:32Oh, and watch this.
11:35Back she goes.
11:38So much, oh, Kel.
11:39Yeah.
11:40Yeah.
11:41Isn't it nice, isn't it?
11:42Oh, yeah.
11:43Look at that one.
11:44That's beautiful.
11:44Oh, and the little one, Kel.
11:46It's so pretty.
11:49Oh, Kel, this is the water wall.
11:52A lady designed this.
11:55See, we're not all stupid.
11:57Let's go look at hoses.
11:58Oh, sorry.
12:10The Prime Minister went there.
12:11No way.
12:12Now it's full of kids who've organized crime figures.
12:15Yeah, then that's good, Kel.
12:16At least they're using their dirty money for good instead of evil.
12:19It's not dirty money.
12:20They launder it first.
12:22Oh.
12:25Move your ass.
12:28Hi, Kel.
12:29Oh, that hurts.
12:30How are you?
12:31Yes.
12:32Yes, I'm moving in a minute.
12:33And it can, actually.
12:36Drama's at home.
12:37We got surfs and test results.
12:40Average for men.
12:41Graham hit the horse.
12:43I mean, and she's going to get into medicine at Melbourne.
12:45She's going to have to get serious.
12:46Well, what is she enough?
12:48You're fine.
12:49And she's doing an awful homework a night.
12:52I know.
12:52It's the same with Zach.
12:54I mean, it's ridiculous.
12:55I rang the school, actually, Prude, and complained.
12:58Because, you know, they need to be doing two to three Rs at that level.
13:01They don't know what we're paying 15 bloody grand for.
13:06I'm bloody moving.
13:07Oh, hi, Joe.
13:08Oh, Joe.
13:09I've got the seven rows for macro for the show.
13:13I'll be with you in a row.
13:14I'd better go.
13:15Yes, I've got a flight.
13:16Harry, you've got 25 minutes.
13:19Get in the car.
13:20Oh, look, Prude, if Em wants to come back to crew on coat, would that suit?
13:23Oh, she'd love it.
13:24Oh, it's great.
13:25I won't be late.
13:26All right.
13:27But listen, you've got to come in for a glass of Sauv Blanc, okay?
13:30I'd love to.
13:31I'm full over it.
13:32Harry, get in the car now.
13:35Okay, bye-bye.
13:36Bye.
13:37Harry!
13:39Wow.
13:41And you get a free sausage.
13:42It doesn't get any better than that, does it, Cat?
13:46And you know, Kel, being a bit environmental makes me feel so darn good about myself.
13:50Mm.
13:50Gives you a warm, fuzzy feeling inside, doesn't it?
13:53All this nature talk makes you feel a bit animalistic.
13:56Ha-ha-ha!
13:58Ha-ha!
14:11Ha-ha!
14:12Ooh!
14:15Oh!
14:16Oh!
14:17Oh!
14:17Oh!
14:18Oh!
14:21Oh my God!
14:22Get it!
14:23Get it!
14:23Get it!
14:24I'm coming!
14:27Oh!
14:27Carrie, I'm your side, Kel.
14:29Oh!
14:29Oh my God!
14:30Get it!
14:31Get it!
14:31Get it, Kel!
14:32Look out!
14:32Get it!
14:34Look out!
14:37I'm coming!
14:37I'm coming!
14:38No, I haven't. No, I haven't. Can I stop it?
14:39I think I've got it. No, I haven't.
14:41No!
14:42Oh!
14:43Oh!
14:49I don't think this thing will fit round the side, Bill.
14:52Please.
14:52I'll just pop up with the clothes fine.
15:00Right.
15:01Here we are.
15:02I've saved the best till last.
15:04Eaton.
15:05Eaton Collins.
15:06Eaton.
15:07I've heard of that, King.
15:08Yeah, it's a really old establishment.
15:12All right, on your mark.
15:13Get set.
15:15Go, run, run.
15:16Come on, it must be set.
15:18I'm not for our life.
15:19Go, I'm not for our life.
15:21Go, I'm not for our life.
15:23Go, I'm not for our life.
15:24Go, I'm not for our life.
15:29Here.
15:32Here.
15:32Come on.
15:35Come on.
15:38Yes, it is.
15:40Oh, my God.
15:42Ebony's going to eat in college.
15:44What?
15:44She's been paged.
15:46Paged?
15:47Oh, yes.
15:48I've read about this in the paper.
15:49But hang on.
15:50How did she be paged?
15:51She's not enrolled anywhere.
15:52No, lucky for her,
15:53she got paged before she could get fried in the state system.
15:56I've got to go and tell Brett.
15:57Oh, wow, that's good.
16:20What, Mandy?
16:21We're just putting in a grey water tank, actually,
16:23so we're doing our bit.
16:24Don't worry.
16:26Don't worry.
16:38Oh, Sharon, what are you doing?
16:39Oh, look at all this mess.
16:40Oh, hi, Mrs. D.
16:42Yeah, Kim said if I was a good godmother
16:43that I would do all of Ebony's homework.
16:46Ebony has to do the bungle bungles,
16:48but she didn't have time to finish it,
16:49and it's still in today.
16:51Oh, look, I'm very happy that Ebony's doing Aboriginal studies,
16:53but do you think you could do it outside?
16:54Oh, it's just not Aboriginal studies.
16:56It's for her travel and terrorism.
16:59There we go.
17:01All finished.
17:02I've got to have to do.
17:04Right, I've got a drink bottle.
17:05I've got a runner.
17:06She's got sport today.
17:08Here's the native fur excursion to the Grand Prix next week.
17:10Don't crash your blazer, Brett.
17:12Have you got her laptop?
17:13Yeah, I've got it.
17:14Oh, pretty.
17:15Yeah.
17:15Don't forget her bungle bungles.
17:17Oh, she's going to the Grand Prix.
17:20That's another environmental disaster.
17:23Oh, shut up, Mum.
17:24It's so boring going on and on about the stupid environment.
17:27Kim?
17:28The, uh, Greywater Sanction.
17:30Oh, Kim, that's exciting.
17:32She's got to try it out.
17:32Oh, OK.
17:38All right, Karen, you can start on the olgers and brogers now.
17:46Oh, it's going to be so good to be able to have a shower, a long one, and wash my
17:50hair
17:50properly.
17:51You know, it's not easy to be an environmental warrior and be foxy at the same time.
17:55I don't know how Dr. Bob Brown does it.
17:57Yeah, it's going to be great knowing the warrior's going straight onto my goobras.
18:02Kim, you don't think I ran my message down people's strokes, do you?
18:05Kids said I was boring today.
18:07I quite like your hand-fisted approach.
18:09I find you a bit of a turn on.
18:10Oh, dear, yeah, Mr. Bob.
18:12Keep talking, keep talking.
18:15Oh, oh, that's nice, fresh, if you'll feel that.
18:21Oh, oh.
18:22Oh, it's all brown.
18:25What's that?
18:26Oh, I can't look at my hose.
18:28Oh, no, that's Grey in his pee bag.
18:32Oh, sorry.
18:56Oh, I'm using this fake bucket, Mr. D.
18:58Oh, no way to use the hose.
19:00No, Sharon.
19:01You know, it's not easy being green, but you do your best.
19:04Oh, yeah, I'm trying to do my bit, Mr. D., you know, by eating less fake beans.
19:08Oh, right, Sharon.
19:09Oh, oh, Kim.
19:11Kim, we're out here.
19:12What happened?
19:13Is Epony all right?
19:14Oh, yeah, she's all right, Sharon.
19:16But, oh, well, Matisse, that's French.
19:18She's got a huge hunk out of her thigh.
19:19Well, it wasn't Epony's fault.
19:21What happened was, Matisse, who's nearly turned two, and is a piece of work.
19:25Don't worry about that.
19:26She got in Epony's face because she got a star for her ears rock.
19:29Well, Epony just lost it.
19:31Yeah, she bit her.
19:32Yeah, well, I would have done the same.
19:33Oh, well, there you go.
19:34She's a biter, too.
19:36You see, it's in the genes.
19:37You were a biter, and Gary, he was a love biter, as I recall.
19:40They spelled it.
19:41Oh, well, look, that's good.
19:42She could just go to the local kinder and specific drive primary.
19:45Easy.
19:46Done.
19:46It's all your fault, Sharon.
19:49Well, what did I do?
19:50You bungled the bungle bungles.
19:52You only did one bungle, and she only got 50%.
19:55Well, I didn't know there was more than one bungle.
19:58You just make me do everything I want.
20:00Four times a week, and I didn't say I was going to ruin it.
20:03I didn't say I was going to ruin it.
20:04I didn't say I was going to ruin it.
20:04I didn't say I was going to ruin it.
20:05I've got no time to ruin it.
20:09Wish it would rain.
20:10Come on.
20:12I don't want it to rain.
20:13My hair will go frizzy.
20:14Kim, it's not always all about you, you know.
20:16What about the poor country?
20:18If it doesn't rain, the whole country will go frizzy.
20:20It's a very delicate ecosystem.
20:22Oh, well, what about my ecosystem?
20:24It's very fragile too, you know.
20:26Oh, yes.
20:31What are you reading?
20:33Oh, it's the inconvenient truth.
20:35You know, Al Gore.
20:36I have to say, Al Gore pushes my buttons, Kim.
20:39He just exudes power, you know.
20:41In a non-fossil fuel burning way, of course.
20:44And tippy, I do like the kind of tippy's, Kim.
20:46Oh, Mum, God, you're a boar.
20:48A boar?
20:49Well, I wish I was a boar, Kim.
20:51I'd reticulate all over the garden.
20:53I mean, look at it.
20:53Look at my paw, paw, paw, paw.
20:56Anyway, happy Mother's Day.
20:59Ta-da.
21:00What?
21:01Oh, Kim, it's a goat.
21:03Yeah?
21:03What an African goat.
21:04It did.
21:05What?
21:05You said you didn't want any presents
21:07and that I should give a goat to a starving family.
21:10Oh, Kim, I meant to give a goat to a starving family
21:13in Africa, you stupid girl.
21:15Oh, I'm starving most of the time.
21:17You never have anything nice to eat in the house.
21:19What are you talking about?
21:20What are you...
21:21Oh, Kim, look at that one.
21:22Yeah, yeah, yeah.
21:23They're really cheap, so I've got a whole lot.
21:25They're great presents.
21:26Oh, Kim, there's so many of them.
21:27That one's going to be for my nail tech.
21:29That one's for Brett's boss.
21:30Kim.
21:30That one's for Ebony's carers.
21:33A day coat.
21:33Yeah, they're fantastic.
21:35Oh, I suppose they're quite cute.
21:37Oh, no, that one's got something off the line.
21:39Oh, no, it's my sports bra.
21:41No, he likes your Capri pants, too.
21:43Oh, well, I'll give the washing.
21:44You know what he likes?
21:44And one of your jeans.
21:45Oh, he's already taken one.
21:47Yeah.
21:47Oh, great.
21:48He's wearing it.
21:49Oh, yeah.
21:50No, it's not.
21:50Oh, look, put them on the lawn.
21:52They can mow it if we had any.
21:53That's right.
21:53No, the coops will love it.