- 1 day ago
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00:00Yes, I know I said today, Brian, but if you can just give me another 24 hours, I'll have the
00:07money.
00:07Yes, cash.
00:09Oh, I need it, Brian.
00:11Please.
00:12Oh, don't do that, Brian.
00:13Get off the phone, Mum.
00:14Please, Brian.
00:15Brian.
00:19Brian.
00:24Can you get a tissue, Mum? That's really annoying.
00:28Mum, you're trying to crack onto the net.
00:31Don't worry about poor old Kaz, I don't know, no one worries about me.
00:34You'll just have to call the bloody wedding off as far as we're going now, spending so much money.
00:38God, maybe I shouldn't have bought these boots.
00:41They are nice, though.
00:43Don't the money sound like a fruitcake.
00:45I have to make a down payment of $1,000 by tomorrow on my pumpkin-style coat.
00:50You don't realise that Brian is at me hammer and tong.
00:52Well, why don't you tell Kel to kick in?
00:54No, I can't do that.
00:56I'm paying for this wedding for myself.
00:58Don't ask me why, but I have my reasons.
01:01All I know is that if I can't pay for a really ritzy wedding for myself, then I won't get
01:05married at all.
01:06Oh, so you're going to call the wedding off because of a pumpkin-style coat?
01:10You're being stupid, Mum.
01:12Oh, stupid, am I?
01:14Is Cinderella stupid, Kim?
01:16Right?
01:17She had a pumpkin-style coat and she lived happily ever after.
01:20Read your history books to you.
01:22It just body-buggers me.
01:25Where all the money's going.
01:27We have to be on a very tight budget, as of now, and I mean tight.
01:30Like those stretched capris you're wearing.
01:32What's a chat room?
01:33How do I get into that?
01:35I'll call Brad.
01:36If I don't pay the city power until next week.
01:39That might work.
01:41Hi, Brad.
01:42Then I can leave off Payne.
01:44It's me.
01:45For the accessories.
01:46Kim!
01:49What do you want to go to a chat room for?
01:51You can just chat to me.
01:53Come on, fire away, ask me anything.
01:57Nothing much?
02:00I don't know.
02:03Watch TV.
02:06No.
02:09Kim?
02:11My strange husband, Brett, makes out like computers are really technical.
02:14But I reckon it's easy.
02:16I could be shopping on the net 24-7.
02:19But bloody mum always wants to use the phone line.
02:21She's buzzing around like a headless chook at the moment, trying to get money.
02:25Yes, Peter, I'm on.
02:28Oh, I know this.
02:30Oh, I've gone blank.
02:32Can I just ask my brains trust, Peter?
02:34Kim!
02:35Kim!
02:35Kim!
02:36Kim, quickly!
02:36For $500?
02:37Who's the Prime Minister of Australia?
02:39I don't know.
02:41Oh.
02:42Oh, Peter.
02:42I'll have to pass on that.
02:44Oh.
02:45Him.
02:47I would have got that wrong.
02:48Alright, thank you.
02:50You off?
02:52What a shame.
02:52I thought we were in with a chance with that one.
02:57Oh!
02:59Oh!
02:59Oh!
03:00Oh my God!
03:00Oh, Kim!
03:01Oh, Kim!
03:01Oh, Kim!
03:02Oh, one!
03:02One, one, one!
03:03Yay!
03:04Two dollars!
03:06Two bucks!
03:07Oh, two bucks!
03:09Two dollars is nothing to sneeze at, Kim!
03:10No!
03:11Only $998 to go!
03:13Oh!
03:17Oh!
03:18Have you seen my credit card, Kim?
03:20What?
03:20It was in my purse, my credit card.
03:22Oh, you're always losing it.
03:23What's the big deal?
03:26Oh!
03:26Well, this time I'll have to cancel it.
03:28No, don't do that.
03:29It'll turn up.
03:30Always does.
03:31Jackie O's on the way down to the Karen Street ramp right now.
03:33With loads of free giveaways, make sure you check her out.
03:37Did you hear that, Kim?
03:39The Black Thunder is down on the Karen Street ramp at the Fountain Gate Shopping Centre.
03:42I am so there, Jackie O!
03:45If Kel rings, Kim.
03:46I've left five minutes to go.
03:48Oh, my keys.
03:50Oh, my keys.
03:51Oh, that's nice.
03:52That's elegant.
03:53That encrusted ring.
03:55I've got to have it.
04:05Oh, what was ugly feel like?
04:07Quite attractive, actually.
04:10Cheap.
04:11Oh, I'll tell you the good news.
04:12Um, Brett has agreed to be my best man.
04:15Burrito.
04:18Mmm, reasonable.
04:19Now, tomorrow, I'm going to try on the suited formal fit.
04:22Then we've got to go to the printers to get the invites.
04:23Do you want me to organise that?
04:25Oh, I don't know, Kel.
04:26I just want to get the shopping done.
04:29Oh, then there's the grog.
04:30We should organise that.
04:31Oh, Kel, can you leave off about the bloody wedding for five minutes?
04:33Oh, what's up, sweet?
04:35We're getting cold feet.
04:36We're getting pretty so wobbly, are you?
04:38Mind the shoulder pads, Kel, please?
04:43Oh, Kel, could you just go and get me two litres of Diet Cola, please, doll?
04:48Hi, Brian.
04:50Brian.
04:51Yes, I'm in the supermarket, Brian.
04:54No, Brian, you can't give it to somebody else.
04:57Yeah, I'll have the money tomorrow.
04:59Yeah, I know it's hard, Brian.
05:02Alright, thank you.
05:04Yeah, I can't talk now, Brian.
05:06Alright, tada.
05:07Everything alright for me?
05:09Yeah, everything's fine.
05:11Okay.
05:1830,000 a month.
05:20Gee, that's good.
05:22Ow!
05:23Sharon, that really hurts!
05:25Come on, Kim.
05:26You know, beauty knows no pain.
05:28You're a pain that knows no beauty, remember that, Sharon?
05:31Hmm?
05:31Oh, Kim, good girl.
05:33You're doing your life yourself.
05:34You're just sitting here to pay for saline treatment for me.
05:37Well, you're saving $100 as well.
05:39Oh, there's my credit card.
05:40I don't remember putting it there, so I tend to turn up.
05:43Listen to this girl, I've just been reading all about this pyramid selling.
05:47Apparently you can earn up to 30 grand a month.
05:50Oh, wow.
05:51Who's going to want to buy pyramids, Mum?
05:53Don't be stupid.
05:54Can you know pyramid selling, the trickle-down effect,
05:56and roping in all your friends and brainwashing and such?
05:59What specifically does it entail, Mrs G?
06:01Well, I'm still reading all about it, Sharon,
06:03but I think what it involves is moving units
06:05and then getting a commissioner on top of your unit.
06:08Oh, nice.
06:09Yes, yes, yes.
06:10See, Mum about to get your fancy wedding after all, Mum?
06:13Well, that is the initial goal, Kim.
06:15But, you know, who knows?
06:16We could take it even further still
06:18and if you girls got involved, all the better.
06:20I'll tell you something for free, Mum.
06:21I am not doing those stupid demonstrations
06:23selling cleaning products, acrylic nails.
06:26Hello.
06:26No, Kim, it's not just cleaning products.
06:29There's a whole range of exciting items.
06:31Look, there's colourful scrunchies, portraiture,
06:33you are, uh, lingerie.
06:36We could have one of those lingerie products.
06:38Yes!
06:39Yes!
06:40I can be the model, of course.
06:41Yes, Kim.
06:42Good girl.
06:43Well, I'll get on the bar right now
06:44and just see how long it takes.
06:46Alright, Sharon, so after you've done my route,
06:47you'll have to wax my bikini on.
06:48Yeah, no worries, Kim.
06:50Brazilian.
06:50Brazilian.
06:57Brett Craig, please.
06:58And who knows those asking?
07:00Mrs Craig.
07:02Brett, your mother's here.
07:08Hi, Kim.
07:10She's a little piece.
07:11You didn't tell me about her.
07:12Yeah, she's new.
07:14What can I do you for?
07:15I'd like a 50k modem so I can talk faster
07:18in the chat room.
07:19Careful, Kim.
07:20Get crackpots and sleazeballs in our chat rooms.
07:23Use a really low key username.
07:24I have.
07:25What is that?
07:26Horn bag.
07:28Playing with fire, Kim.
07:30Can I have my modem, please?
07:33And don't forget the spousal discount.
07:44Oh, that's my pyramid lingerie.
07:47Don't eat those, please, Sharon.
07:49There for tonight.
07:49And watch that other batch for me.
07:51Yeah, sure, Mrs C.
07:52I love pina colada.
07:53Rain makes me go off.
07:55I'm a health freak and a brainiac.
07:58What are you doing, Kim?
07:59Look at this, Sharon.
08:00Being shattered up on the chat room.
08:02Oh, wow.
08:03Look at you into a secret adventure.
08:04Yeah.
08:05Yep.
08:06Oh, isn't that great?
08:07Yeah.
08:08Oh, looks like a phone.
08:09Can I have a go?
08:12What have you done?
08:13Oh.
08:14What have you done, Sharon?
08:15He's gone.
08:16Oh, I don't know.
08:16I didn't do it.
08:17Oh, Sharon, you're running.
08:19I'm going to have to ring Brett now.
08:21Oh, no.
08:22I've got to go through.
08:23I've got to go through.
08:24Oh, for God's sake, I broke a nail last week.
08:26Did you hear me going on about that?
08:28Time out.
08:31Time out.
08:31Time out.
08:32Time out.
08:32Time out, please.
08:33Now, Kimmy.
08:33Kimmy, look at me, please.
08:35Look at me.
08:35Look at me.
08:36Now, Sharon, look at me, please.
08:38Look at me.
08:39Now, Kim, look at Sharon.
08:41Sharon, look at Kim.
08:42Now, both look at me, please.
08:44And have a little boy and calm down.
08:49Kim, stop being so rough with those, please.
08:51I'm going to go downstairs and wait for bread, all right?
08:54You know, Mrs. Steele, I really admire what you're doing.
08:57You know, as an independent lady and how you're doing it all on your own and all that.
09:00But, you know, I think that Kel's really like a straight up and down kind of guy.
09:04And if you would explain to him your conundrum, I'm sure he'd understand.
09:09Shut the door, Sharon.
09:11I want to talk to you about something.
09:15I have my reasons for wanting to pay for this wedding.
09:19Nobody knows this, but poor Kel's been left at the altar four times.
09:23I kid you not, Sharon.
09:25Wow.
09:26Not that once is bad enough.
09:27And each time he's been left holding the bill.
09:29Poor Kel.
09:30But it's not going to happen to him again.
09:32By hook or by crook, as a sign of my furlings for Kel, I'm going to pay for this wedding
09:37every last bra-zoo.
09:40You have got a big heart, Mrs. Steele.
09:42Oh, look at this, Sharon.
09:43We're going to be rich.
09:45We're beautiful.
09:46Is it real normal?
09:47Yeah.
09:47It's going to be great.
09:50Getting married again this night.
09:51No.
09:53You're saying, actually.
09:54You were in this time last year, weren't you?
09:56That's not the powder blue with the velvet piping.
09:58You married that chap in the airflash.
10:00Yeah.
10:01Didn't quite work out.
10:02Oh, bad luck.
10:03But this time it's for real.
10:05I tell you, a cat's going to flip when she sees his apricot.
10:07I'll just try her again, Rose Pinko.
10:09Rose Pinko.
10:13Hmm.
10:14Okay, I'll just try her mobile.
10:20Hmm.
10:24You do know we have no return hole up in there, don't you?
10:28Yep.
10:29Okay, you have to press Alt Shift Escape if you want to shut it down properly.
10:33Here are our Alt Shift Escape.
10:35See?
10:35Can't live without me, can you, Kim?
10:37I know just what buttons to press me.
10:38Oh, don't be filthy, please.
10:40Come on, admit it, Kim.
10:40You need me.
10:41You'll never find another bloke as good as me.
10:44Go on, Kim.
10:44Swallow your pride.
10:46I'm not swallowing anything.
10:48Before you disappear right up your own bum, I could find someone better than you, actually.
10:52Better than this?
10:53Yeah.
10:53Now I'm on the net.
10:54I could meet lots of guys.
10:56How do you know they're guys?
10:57Uh-huh.
10:58How many hits you had, Hornbag?
11:00You know, your beeswax breath.
11:02Why don't you mind it?
11:03Not a cracker, eh?
11:03I have had a cracker, actually.
11:06Why not try logging on to www.bretty.com how you come here?
11:11Oh, piss off, Brett!
11:14Anyway, you're stuck with me at the wedding.
11:16Kel's asked me to be his best man.
11:18Huh.
11:19We'll be doing the nut bush together.
11:21That's if there is a wedding.
11:22What do you mean?
11:24Mum's going to call it off.
11:26You're kidding?
11:26I never kid, Brett.
11:28Why?
11:29I don't know.
11:31Just Kel that?
11:32Oh, hello, Mr. Knight.
11:35Getting married again.
11:36That's as quick.
11:37Yeah.
11:38I'm here to pick up the invitations for night and day.
11:41Oh, I'm sorry.
11:42Miss Day sort of hold on those until further notice.
11:46But I still have those thank you cards you ordered last year tonight, Nakamoto.
11:50That'll be my fiancé now.
11:52I'll just get that.
11:54Hello?
11:55Oh, g'day, Brett.
11:57Yeah, sure.
11:59Yeah, I'll come over now.
12:12Hello?
12:13Brian?
12:15Mrs. Day?
12:16Yeah.
12:17Please, take a seat.
12:18Oh, that's good.
12:19Coffee?
12:19No, no, it's fine.
12:20I'm fine.
12:21Um, Brian, I have to come clean.
12:24I haven't got the deposits for the coach today.
12:26Now, I told you on the phone I can only hold the pumpkin-style coach until today.
12:32I'm running a business here, love.
12:34Silver Lady Coaches is not a charity.
12:38I wish I could help you, but, er, well, the Cinderella thing's very popular at the moment.
12:43Oh, look, if you can just give me till tomorrow, I'm holding a lingerie party tonight.
12:48Lingerie party?
12:49Yes.
12:49Can I come?
12:50Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
12:55I'll tell you what I'll do.
12:57And only because I'm an old softie when it comes to a damsel in distress.
13:02I'm going to hold it till tomorrow.
13:05Oh, Brian, you're too good to me, really.
13:07But then you'll owe me big time, won't you, Kathy?
13:09Oh, yes.
13:09Ha, ha, ha, ha.
13:10I can call you Kathy.
13:11Yes, I suppose so.
13:13Ha, ha, ha, ha.
13:14And you will hold the coach for me.
13:16Now, I didn't say that.
13:18Don't twist my words, sweetheart.
13:20Brian, I am good for the money.
13:22Please?
13:24Do I get a kiss from the bride on the big day?
13:27Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
13:33Bye.
13:42Hi Hannah. What do I look like in one way to live?
14:10Hello ladies and welcome. Tonight I'm going to be showing for you the beautiful range
14:17of products from the Pyramid Lingerie and Loungewear range. This range includes a wide collection
14:22of smalls for big girls who like to enjoy nights of passion and days of endless comfort.
14:30Also tonight I'll be showing you our exclusive wedding night range. Now you've all heard
14:35of the G-string. Well this is the T-Bar. It's personally designed by me. It's worn, it's
14:42just actually a G-string worn back to front but it's a personal favourite of mine. Alright,
14:47now I'd like to introduce our first model for tonight, Kimberly. This is Kimberly and she
14:53is wearing the Sharon Stone bra and pants set. Doesn't she look beautiful? That comes without
15:00pants. And it's guaranteed to get your guy as hot as Michael Douglas. And whoa, is he hot.
15:06Thank you Kim. That comes in shell pink, oyster, scallop and lobster. Thanks Kim, Billy. Now
15:12we have Sharon. And she is modelling for us the Monica Lewinsky. Now this is a low cut brassiere
15:20teamed with a high back thong. Very beautiful. Designed to stick up above your slacks or your
15:25skirt. And of course that comes with optional knee pads. Thank you Sharon. Next again we have
15:34Kim. Ah, now this is what I call the Mini Driver. It's designed to be ultra slimming. And you've
15:44heard of the Nancy Dance Pants. Well I call this the Cat's Day and Hansy Fancy Dance Pants.
15:50I based this after seeing Mini Driver in Circle of Friends. You all remember that film? Well Kim
15:57is also surrounded by her own circle. Circle of fans. Right. I think we'll take a short break. So feel
16:06free to try things on please. And I'll be back very shortly with some hot suggestions. Thank you.
16:13Oh, it's going well. Oh, come on. We've got to get these savouries out. What's the matter Kim?
16:19Has the cat got you go? No. Come on Kim, what's up yours? I'll tell you what's up mine. I
16:24came here
16:25tonight to get your super wedding back on track. Even though I'm in the midst of my own painful
16:29separation. What do I get? I get you throwing my fat in my face. Numa. Showbiz. I was using Numa
16:36to try
16:36and sell more products. Well I'm not laughing. Well just stop your nonsense Kim because I've got a lot
16:41of products to move tonight. And besides if I meet my target I get a red French lace teddy with
16:46a snap crotch.
16:47Sharan? Yes. Oh, that's beautiful. Isn't it? Ah, here we go.
16:53All right.
17:06Mine is my initial outline. Mine is what I, Sharan and Kim's cut, leaves me with nothing. What?
17:17Couldn't be right. Hang on. 100, 200, 300, 400, 500, 550, 500, 600. Oh, hi Kel. I wasn't expecting you.
17:37Well who were you expecting dressed like that? You don't wear a snap crotch teddy for just anyone.
17:42Yeah, no. I've been working my tush off tonight, Kel. I see. I thought I knew you,
17:48Kat. But it's obvious what's going on. Oh, Kel. No, sorry. I should have told you. I'm a working
17:52girl now. I can't believe it's happening to me again. What, Kel?
17:59It's just as well at the wedding's off. What do you mean, Kel? I'm just doing it for the money.
18:04You can pay if you like. That might be all right for Brian, but it's not all right for me.
18:09Brian? Who's Brian? Kel? Kel? Come back. Kel?
18:21Oh, Kel. There you are. I've been trying you all day. Now listen up. Don't speak. I can explain
18:26everything. Now, Kel, listen. You are still my man and our wedding is still going ahead whether
18:32you're going to be there or not. Mum? Kim? What are you doing at Kel? Kel has his phone here.
18:38Oh,
18:39Kim. Well, where's Kel? I don't know. Oh, well, having seen him? No. Oh, I better go.
18:45All right. Okay. Bye. Bye. Kel? Oh, Brian. Yes, I've got the money. Yes. I've got it. Yeah,
18:55I've got it. I've got it. I haven't got it. What about your pyramid sewing? All that money you
19:00are going to make? Oh, no. That was a complete scam,
19:03Kim. I was ripped off. You're joking. No. No more gambling. I need a surefire win,
19:10Kim. Something no risk, you know. Something legit where the odds are stacked in my favour.
19:16I know. The poties. If Kel rings, I'm on his mobile.
19:26Hi, Kim. Got your big day tonight. Yep. Are you excited? Yeah, I am. I want you to see some
19:32clothes,
19:33all right? Yeah, no worries. Oh, this chat room guy is hot to try. What do you think? This?
19:42Or that. What do you say, Sharon? Definitely not that.
20:03What are you doing here? Waiting for someone.
20:06Well, so am I. Move away. Shopping Hornbeck.
20:10You don't like pina colada. You don't like getting caught in the rain. Your hair goes all frizzy.
20:15Shut up. It does not. What about making love of anyone? You're snoring your head off by there.
20:19Oh, and have you got half a brain? No.
20:24Oh, yuck. This pina colada is bolting. You want your usual? Yes, thank you. Come on.
20:33I've got a light beer and a lime rusky for the lady. It's a nice top. Isn't it new?
20:39Yeah, I got this on the net. Brett, I love the internet. I finally found something I'm really good at.
20:45What? Home shopping? Yeah.
20:47Well, the net certainly bought us back together. Hasn't it? Don't push it.
20:52What was that about you looking like Ali Baldwin? You got the balls right.
20:57What about you? Size 10. I've been asking you about your shoes.
21:06This is nice, isn't it? Yes, it is.
21:08This is nice. I won! I won! Oh my God!
21:23I won! I won!
21:32What's going on?
21:33What's going on?
21:36Hello, Cat. Oh, Kel! There you are!
21:41Congratulations. I just want to say sorry for laying the top last night
21:45and I hope you and your new man are very happy together.
21:49No, Kel! There's no other guy! You are my man!
21:53And I'm your foxy lady! Really? Really!
21:57I'm just doing this to earn the money for the pumpkin style coach.
22:01It's money, you mate. I've got cheese and sausage and I've got...
22:04No, Kel! I want to give you the riftiest,
22:08fairytile style wedding I can.
22:12I'm so into you, Cat, babe.
22:15Ditto, Kel.
22:18Big time.
22:37Oh! Hi, Brian.
22:39I have the money for the deposit, yes.
22:42Good girl. Yeah, it's just a little bit short.
22:45Fifty dollars. A bit shorter.
22:47Yeah, but I can...
22:48It's Cathy, isn't it? Yeah.
22:51Now, uh...
22:52Cathy, uh...
22:54There are other ways to make up the difference.
22:57What do you mean, Brian?
22:58Oh, come on, Cathy.
23:00What about that kiss we were talking about?
23:03Oh, that was on the wedding day.
23:05Um, Brian?
23:07Uh-uh.
23:08No kiss, no coach.
23:10No kiss, no coach.
23:11Now, you do want the coach, don't you, Cathy?
23:13No.
23:13And we do like to look after our ladies down here at silver lady coaches.
23:19No kiss, no coach.
23:22No kiss, no coach.
23:24No kiss, no coach.
23:27No kiss, no coach.
23:29No kiss, no coach.
23:31It was like a nightmare.
23:32Why didn't you just kiss him?
23:34Jim.
23:35I'm gonna knock his bloody block off.
23:37No, Greg, don't.
23:38It's not worth it.
23:40No kiss.
23:41No kiss.
23:41Let it go.
23:43Let it go.
23:45Let it go.
23:47For goodness sake, it was only a pumpkin-style coat.
23:58Mrs. Dee, come here, have a look at this.
24:01What, carrot?
24:08Easy, girl.
24:09Easy.
24:10Easy.
24:11Easy.
24:11Oh, my God.
24:12Oh, Kel, you're amazing.
24:15I don't understand.
24:16No kiss, no cake.
24:18How did you do it?
24:19Let's just say I did what we need to do.
24:22Oh, Kel.
24:24Did my hunger spunk?
24:26I'm up to the printer at the camera.
24:29Help.
24:31It's beautiful in everything.
24:33I'm doing it.
24:35I'm doing it.
24:36I'm doing it.
24:56All right.
24:56I'm guilty.
24:57You've found out my surprise.
24:59What?
24:59I've been trying to run up your credit card bill to earn you enough fly-bys to get you a
25:02free mystery flight for your honeymoon.
25:03Oh.
25:04Well, why didn't you say so, love?
25:05Oh, I'm thrilled.
25:06So, did we get a free trip?
25:07Yes, I have managed to get you and Kel a trip.
25:08It's on Sunday, the 23rd of October, 4.30am.
25:11You won't be sitting together and they can't tell me where you're going, but they can tell
25:13me that it's not out of the state.