- 5 hours ago
Into The Wolf's Jaws
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00You are pathetic, Gary. Cooking, cleaning. You're not a boyfriend. You're a maid. I need a real man.
00:07Good luck finding a real man who remembers it into your dallergies, Tiffany.
00:14A goddess? Looks more like a lumpy potato to me. Women really used to worship a carb?
00:24What the hell?
00:42Ow, my back. Are you kidding me? What is this? Some extreme feminist cosplay event?
00:49Put the sticks down, ladies. What do women know about wilderness survival anyway?
00:58Hey! Let me go! Are you on steroids?
01:17Too noisy.
01:25Oh, wait, wait, wait!
01:35Let there be light, ladies.
01:44The fire god's messenger has descended!
01:48That's right. Worship the magic thumb.
01:51Fools! It's dark witchcraft! An illusion to corrupt us! Shoot that demon down! Now!
02:02Holy crap!
02:07The tribe is freezing. He stays. Keep him alive. We use him to make fire.
02:18Crazy.
02:19Crazy. These chicks are absolutely insane.
02:29The potato goddess? That's my ticket home.
02:38Survive these savage women. Get those pieces and get the hell out of here.
02:44Game on.
02:46Listen, where I come from, men are the alphas.
02:52Women listen. They cook. They gently ask for permission.
02:57Shut up.
02:59Whoa! Hey! Put me down!
03:13You gotta be kidding me.
03:19Look at those tiny arms! Weaker than a newborn calf!
03:24Yeah! Laugh it up, you savage Amazons!
03:32Where is the damn restroom? Don't tell me!
03:41I'm gonna freeze my balls off!
03:49Holy crap! Help!
04:01Toxic masculinity gets you killed here.
04:05You want an alpha?
04:07Fine.
04:09I'll give you the ultimate house husband.
04:14Wait, wait, wait, wait!
04:29Let there be light, baby!
04:42Envoy of the Fire God!
04:44He brings the sacred flame!
04:47Fools!
04:48Stand up!
04:50It's an illusion!
04:51Dark magic from a filthy demon!
04:55Ona!
04:56Shoot him!
04:57Pierce his cursed heart!
04:58Now!
04:59Yes, high priestess!
05:08Whoa! Hey!
05:09Peace! I come in peace!
05:26Hey! Watch the hoodie!
05:29The tribe needs the flame for the winter.
05:32Keep this thing.
05:35We will use him to make fire.
05:41Stay inside, you useless weakling.
05:47It smells like wet dog and depression in here.
06:00Wait!
06:01The potato statue!
06:03That's my ticket home!
06:14Take one more step outside and I'll chop your legs off!
06:22Okay, Gary, play nice, survive the cave women, get the pieces, go home.
06:43Make fire, or I'll carve you into pieces right now.
06:58In my world, men give the orders.
07:02Women are supposed to beg me gently!
07:23You crazy...
07:28Okay, I'm healed!
07:32Stop throwing me!
07:37Since you won't make a fire, go do the chores.
07:48Oh my god!
07:50What is that smell?
07:54Did something die in here?
07:56Clean it up.
07:58Wait, all of this?
08:00Are you insane?
08:01I'm an art director, not a dung beetle!
08:03Finish it before sunset, or you don't eat.
08:21This is an absolute violation of male dignity.
08:24Back Pride, back in my world, men run the show.
08:27We tell women what to do.
08:30Look at those tiny little arms!
08:32Thinner than a baby reindeer's leg!
08:34He can barely lift a shovel!
08:39What a useless piece of trash!
08:44I'll show you useless!
08:46I bench press occasionally!
09:06I just want to go home!
09:12God, I'm starving.
09:14I'd kill for a cheeseburger right now.
09:17Not now!
09:19Where's the restroom?
09:20Come on, there's got to be an outhouse or something!
09:24Excuse me.
09:25Toilet?
09:26Restroom?
09:26Where do you guys, you know...
09:29Are you kidding me?
09:31Out there?
09:31I'll freeze my junk off!
09:32I'll freeze my junk off!
09:41Holy crap!
09:45Mommy!
09:53Alpha male?
09:54I'm literally just wolf bait here.
10:04If acting tough gets me killed, then screw being tough.
10:10It's time to bring out the ultimate House Husbird.
10:13You filthy outsider!
10:16How dare you defile the sacred ground!
10:18Whoa!
10:19Hold on!
10:19I didn't do this!
10:21This is a setup!
10:22Silence!
10:23Punish him!
10:2430 blapes!
10:24Tear his skin off!
10:26With pleasure, High Priestess!
10:35Hey!
10:36Watch the face!
10:38Let a professional handle this!
10:45Don!
10:46Spotless!
10:47You could eat off this floor now.
10:51You...
10:52Witchcraft!
10:55Keep an eye on this freak, Una!
11:04Playing the macho tough guy here is literally a death sentence.
11:07Fine, if brute force won't work.
11:09I'll just have to use the ultimate de mech skills I used to hate it.
11:13I will survive.
11:22Where is the meat?
11:23We have nothing left!
11:25The blizzards chased the herds away.
11:27We caught absolutely nothing.
11:30What is that smell?
11:31Smells like a dumpster in July.
11:33The Winter Storage is completely rotten!
11:36The Winter Storage is good to go with this!
11:49We're going to starve this winter.
11:53Silence!
11:54The Moon Goddess is angry.
11:57Our winter supply is cursed.
11:59To save the strong, the weak must perish.
12:01It is tradition!
12:03Exile the wounded!
12:05Throw the old men to the Icelands!
12:07Police!
12:08No!
12:09We'll freeze to death!
12:20Bullshit!
12:21Bullshit!
12:22Exile my ass!
12:23Those meats can still be saved!
12:28The demon speaks!
12:30He is blinding you all with his sorcery!
12:34Ona, take his head off!
12:35Now!
12:37With pleasure!
12:39Whoa, whoa, wait!
12:50Give me one day!
12:52Just one day!
12:53I swear, I'll make this meat!
12:55Last all winter without rotting!
12:58Luna!
13:00Let go of the chief, you filth!
13:03Hold.
13:10You have one day.
13:11If this fails, your head goes on a spike.
13:15Deal.
13:16Just keep your blade in its seath.
13:19Thora!
13:19Take your best warriors to the Salt Lake.
13:21I need raw salt, bags of it, now!
13:23Here.
13:24What now, magic man?
13:27God, it smells like a dumpster fire in a locker room.
13:31Listen up!
13:31Cut away the green, rotten parts and toss them.
13:34We only keep the good flesh.
13:36Slice them thin and even, like this.
13:38It helps it dry faster.
13:41Salt and wild herbs.
13:43The salt draws out moisture.
13:45The herbs kill bacteria.
13:47It's science, ladies.
13:49Witchcraft!
13:50You are poisoning our winter supply with your filthy trick!
13:58What the hell is wrong with you, you crazy bitch?
14:01Are you trying to starve everyone?
14:02I'll cut your tongue out, you pathetic worm!
14:13Touch my kitchen again, and you're the next thing I salt.
14:37Out of my way, I'm starving!
14:41Please work, please work.
14:48She's frozen!
14:49The demon's food is cursed!
14:53If she dies, I will skin you alive.
14:55Wait!
14:56Just give her a second!
14:57It's just salt!
15:00This is incredible!
15:03Salty, savory, it's a hundred times better than plain roasted meat!
15:07I could eat a whole reindeer of this!
15:24The meat is preserved, we will not starve this winter!
15:27For sure!
15:28We will not starve!
15:29My gutter!
15:31Hail the fire messenger!
15:33See?
15:34Told you modern science never lies.
15:37You skinny little genius!
15:39Whoa! Hey! Put me down!
15:42Woohoo! The Magic Matchman saved us!
15:47Okay, okay. I guess I'm the chef now.
15:57Ugh! Water-boiled jerky again?
15:59My taste buds are literally committing suicide!
16:02I can't take this caveman diet anymore. I need flavor.
16:08Oh, hello! Gorgeous!
16:11Time to introduce these cavewomen to some real flavor.
16:24Come get it, ladies! The Gary Special! Guaranteed to blow your minds!
16:35Ugh! What sorcery is this? It smells aggressive.
16:40Try it, big girl. If you can handle it.
16:45Ah! Ah! It burns! It's like swallowing fire!
16:50But I can't stop! Give me water and more meat!
16:52Ah! Ah!
16:56Welcome to the Spicy Club, amateurs!
17:03What is this chaos?
17:12Chief, I was just...
17:15Wait! Chief! That's pure chili oil! You can't just...
17:18That will kill you!
17:41Hey! Hey!
17:43I got you!
17:48Hold on.
17:49I know exactly what you need.
18:01Drink this.
18:02It's ginger and sweet root.
18:04It'll warm you up from the inside.
18:18A tough chief shouldn't have to fight the cold all by herself.
18:23Just rest.
18:38Damn, it's freezing.
18:48Cover yourself.
18:49Don't freeze to death.
18:54Who's going to cook for me if you die?
19:06I picked these for you.
19:07Ew!
19:10You smell like sour mud.
19:11And look at these skinny arms.
19:13A real warrior needs a strong man, not a weakling like you.
19:22Look at you.
19:23You're just like a nanny who only knows how to cook.
19:25You have zero masculinity.
19:33Not again.
19:34I won't let this happen again.
19:37Stop crying like a baby.
19:39But I can't fight those wild beasts.
19:41I'm too weak.
19:42Since we can't beat these tigresses with muscles, we'll conquer them with elegance.
19:51Skincare is a man's second life.
19:53Endure it.
20:16by the moon goddess is that alien you're coming to my tent tonight gorgeous
20:23back off i saw him first
20:31gary you're a miracle worker thank you
20:36teach us master gary save our love lives all right boys welcome to gary's grooming master class
20:43rule number one exfoliation you got to treat your skin like a delicate flower not a mammoth
20:48hofft hide look at those hands so gentle
20:58enough whoa easy chief
21:08listen up this man's hands are only for cooking my food and sewing my clothes
21:14nobody touches him he is mine to order around
21:25you know what maybe being a domestic god isn't so bad after all
21:35are you blind you call yourself a warrior look at her the blizzard curse keep your dirty snow off the
21:41training ground
21:46hey back off it's just dandruff not a curse
21:51give me 10 minutes i'll cure your little blizzard permanently
21:56just relax your neck think of it as a vip spa treatment
22:02spa what it feels weirdly good focus on the massage no scratching just rubbing
22:26all done take a look
22:33by the moon goddess it's gone the snow is gone you saved my life no one has ever been this
22:40kind to me
22:42i owe you come with me i have to tell you a secret a huge one oh slow down what
22:47secret
22:55whoa easy what's with the cloak and dagger procedure gary you gotta hear this i saw something
23:00bad what did someone steal my secret chili sauce again no it's high priestess morica
23:06a few nights ago i saw her sneaking around the back mountain she was burying huge chests of premium
23:11pelts in a hidden snow cave hoarding winter supplies in secret that old witch is embezzling
23:17the tribe's public property this is our trump gone
23:23what are you two whispering about
23:25oh hey una what a lovely night are you plotting against the high priestess
23:33plotting no we were talking about hair
23:36see her hair is a disaster i'm teaching her the ultimate modern braiding technique it's called
23:41the french braid very chic you think i'm a fool outsider
23:47your soft little tricks might amuse the chief but morana sees everything
23:51noted i'll make sure to offer her a scalp massage next time
23:55watch your back rat
24:02the old witch is feeling threatened they're coming for me
24:09that outsider rat he's infecting our warriors with his soft pathetic tricks he must die
24:15say the word high priestess i'll slit his throat while he sleeps
24:18fool brenner shields him like a prized pet if we just kill him she will tear us apart
24:24we need leverage a fatal sin watch him every breath every step find his weakness yes high priestess
24:36now or never
24:43just one left i'm going home
24:52defiling the gods you're a dead man
24:57high priestess i caught him he touched the sacred altar
25:00speak clearly what did the rat do he stole a piece of the mother goddess he hid it in his
25:06clothes
25:09it's the ultimate sin i'll gather the gods and arrest him for theft right now
25:13theft no that's too petty we will give him a grander stage the moon festival is tomorrow the whole tribe
25:19will be watching
25:20we won't say he stole it we will tell them he is piecing the idol together
25:24to activate a dark curse and destroy our entire tribe
25:27let's see if our dear chief can save him from the wrath of the gods
25:35high priestess i saw it the outsider stole a fragment of the goddess's statue
25:40blasphemy
25:41blasphemy
25:42the absolute perfect sin
25:43he's dug his own grave
25:45tomorrow
25:45he dies
25:55yes
25:56just one last core piece
25:58and i'm out of this freezing hell
26:02what are you hiding
26:04hiding
26:05nothing
26:06just checking my abs
26:08winter body prep
26:09you know
26:11idiot
26:12don't choke on the bones
26:13idiot
26:30don't choke on the bones
26:34stop the prayers
26:35stop the prayers
26:35the moon goddess is furious
26:38her wrath descends upon us tonight
26:41because there is a rat among us
26:44a traitor
26:45who stole our sacred relic
26:50whoa wait i was just eating my dinner
26:54seize the monster
26:57back off owner
26:59he's innocent
27:02move
27:02or you'll be punished for treason
27:07hey
27:09hands off
27:10what are you doing
27:35brenna
27:36it's not what you think
27:37i just wanted to go home
27:40he used his dark magic to beforech our chief and weaken our matriarchy
27:44he stole the relic to curse and destroy this entire tribe
27:48by our ancient law
27:49throw him into the ice dungeon
27:51tomorrow at dawn
27:52he will be frozen alive as a sacrifice
27:59wait
28:00wait
28:00it's a misunderstanding
28:01this is just a tool to get me home
28:03i swear
28:04a tool
28:05it's dark magic
28:07he wants to curse us all
28:09burn the demons
28:10burn the demons
28:12step back
28:13he saved our winter meat
28:14have you forgotten it
28:15are you turning your back on the moon goddess
28:19yes step aside now
28:21or share the demons fate
28:24chief
28:25the goddess demands justice
28:28make the call
28:32brenna
28:33you know me
28:36tell them
28:37i just cooked for you last night
28:56seize him
28:58seize him
29:08take him
29:19are you serious?
29:21after everything?
29:22the goddess has spoken
29:26i've been waiting for this
29:34let him go
29:35he saved us
29:37move it scum
29:38the ice dungeon is waiting for you
29:51i guess i was blind
29:54you're just as cold and lifeless as that ugly potato statue
30:00all you care about is your damn power
30:09shut your mouth witch
30:19enjoy your final night
30:21you'll be frozen solid by morning
30:40brennna
30:45it's so cold
30:47just let it end
30:49cold
30:50so cold
31:01Great. Going to die as a human popsicle.
31:06I spent all this time looking for an exit.
31:09Alders than eggs. Never treated this place like home.
31:27You stupid, stubborn tigress. Carrying the whole world on your shoulders.
31:44Eat it, skinny boy. Don't freeze to death before dawn.
31:52Thora, thank you. Seriously.
32:06She won't let me die. That tough-talking tigress is coming for me tonight. I know it.
32:23Who-who's there?
32:34Brenna?
32:50Take this.
33:01How did you-why?
33:03Why?
33:06Get out. Take the secret tunnel in the back.
33:11Go back to your world, the one with toilets and no freezing winters.
33:17And never come back.
33:30Chuckle softly.
33:36You're not afraid of dying. You're afraid of being forgotten.
33:45Do it. Go back to your soft world.
34:06Are you out of your mind?
34:08Tomorrow morning, you're going to be chopped into meat paste.
34:12I can't save you.
34:25I caught your stubbornness.
34:30If I leave, who's going to make you that spicy stew?
34:36And who's going to help you teach that old witch a lesson?
34:47No.
34:53Now, it's our turn to strike back.
34:56Look closely. I pieced this together from what Lyra told me. Moranga's been playing you all.
35:03The sacrifices for the moon goddess, they didn't go to heaven.
35:06She hoarded everything in these hidden snow caves behind the camp.
35:10What?
35:10Your winter supplies.
35:12My people starved last winter. The elderly froze. And she was stockpiling our food? I'm going to rip her throat
35:19out right now!
35:19Whoa! Tiger, wait! Stop!
35:22Let go of me!
35:24She pays with blood tonight.
35:27You kill her now in the dark. Her fanatics will say you murdered a holy woman. It's a civil war.
35:34We don't just kill her. We destroy her entirely.
35:39Tomorrow morning, at my public execution, we strip her of everything in front of the whole tribe.
35:46You better survive until morning, modern boy.
35:52No.
36:13You better survive until morning, modern boy.
36:16These are from the Bloodfang tribe. The ones who slaughtered our sisters. Stop!
36:21Not! Not in the dark!
36:23She sold us out! She traded our lives!
36:26If we kill her now, her followers will riot.
36:30We expose her at the altar.
36:33In front of everyone.
36:52Time to bleed for the moon goddess, freak.
36:59You're making a mistake!
37:06The moon goddess demands his impure blood!
37:16Death to the demon!
37:18Come right there!
37:42Chief! What is the meaning of this?
37:48Are you betraying the goddess for this filthy creature?
38:13The only one betraying the goddess is you!
38:18You greedy, filthy parasite!
38:25This blade!
38:26It bears the mark of the Bloodfang tribe!
38:29They slaughtered our sisters with these!
38:31Traitor! How could she?
38:39Silence, you ignorant fools!
38:41These are sacred offerings!
38:43Tributes gathered for the moon goddess to protect us from the winter's wrath!
38:53Oh, give it a rest!
38:55You old fraud!
38:57Your hoarding habit is worse than my modern ex-girlfriend on a Black Friday shopping spree!
39:01Seriously?
39:02Can your moon goddess even wear that many fur coats?
39:05She's gonna sweat to death!
39:10Oops!
39:19Blasphemy!
39:21Kill them!
39:22Kill them all!
39:23Ona, slaughter these traitors!
39:27For the moon goddess!
39:28Kill them all!
39:31Whoa!
39:32Time out!
39:33Someone untie me first!
39:35You've been pissing me off for months, Ona!
39:40Die, you brute!
39:52My turn!
40:12Mercy!
40:13We surrender to the chief!
40:15Mercy!
40:16Good job, Thara!
40:18That's one hell of an uppercut!
40:26No!
40:27My power!
40:29It's all gone!
40:31Die, you hypocrite!
40:33Get your filthy hands off me!
40:36I am the voice of the moon goddess!
40:39The goddess wants you dead!
40:41Beat her to death right now!
40:51This is for my mother.
40:53And for the sisters we lost to your lies.
41:07Are you crazy, Gary?
41:09Don't tell me you're trying to save this venomous snake!
41:11Typical weak man.
41:13Always crying and showing mercy.
41:16Don't dirty your hands, Brenna.
41:25A quick death is too much of a luxury for you, old lady.
41:29I've got something way better in mind.
41:32Something that will break your soul.
41:35Death is way too easy for her!
41:39She loves hoarding winter supplies so much!
41:41Let's follow the oldest rule.
41:43Exile her to the frozen wasteland!
41:51No!
41:52No, please!
41:53I won't last three nights out there!
41:56Have mercy, Chief!
41:57Just kill me!
42:06Let her live.
42:07Let her freeze and panic in the snow every single day.
42:10Thinking about her pathetic life, that's way more torturizing than a quick slice.
42:24You are so wicked.
42:26Learned from the best.
42:29I picked it up from you, my fierce tigress.
42:42Execute the exile!
42:44Now!
42:46Keep moving!
42:54Please!
42:55I will freeze to death out there!
43:01Cross this line and I will end you right now.
43:09Dig faster, traitor!
43:12You have ten years to go!
43:15You have ten years to go!
43:16Oh God!
43:33Gary!
43:34Gary, Gary!
43:40Gary!
43:40Gary! Gary! Gary! Gary! Gary! Gary! Gary!
43:53Whoa, Chief, what are you doing?
43:55Hey! Slow down!
44:11By our old laws, men don't stay the night.
44:17But listen up!
44:19From today on, this annoying little man is all mine.
44:23Nobody touches him.
44:24Anyone tries to steal him, I break your legs.
44:29Woo-hoo! Boss claimed her man!
44:37Who's claiming who is highly debatable, you know.
44:57Look at this dump. Not even a proper silicone bottle or a decent pacifier.
45:03Your lucky daddy has good hands, kiddo.
45:13Get up, you useless bum. Stop hiding it in the tent. Grab your bow. You're hunting with me.
45:20All right, all right. Keep your fur on, you crazy tigress.
45:23Let's go, let's get home.
45:26Here we go.
45:33Here we go.
45:35Let's go, let's go.
45:36Look, let's go, let's go.
45:37Good job, let's go.
45:37But let's go.
45:38It's safe.
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