- 15 minutes ago
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00:14Which of the following statements is true?
00:17Relationships with co-workers are A forbidden, B okay with clearance, C fine if no one gets
00:23hurt.
00:24C all day.
00:25Incorrect.
00:26The answer is A.
00:28What?
00:28Suzanne, that's insane.
00:30Are you telling me that if there's a conflict between work and love you expect me to pledge
00:34my loyalty to work?
00:35I am team love.
00:37Davis, out of a possible score of 50, you have scored two.
00:40Please see your manager for further training.
00:43Not again.
00:44Do not fuck the people you work with.
00:48I'm sorry, what?
00:49I know it's New York and being slutty is now empowering, but it's the law.
00:52This is our sexual harassment training.
00:54Hands off your co-workers.
00:55Do you mean Nadia?
00:59Of course not Nadia.
01:01You are the assistant to a celebrity stylist.
01:05I mean, do not fuck our clients.
01:08They're hot, they're famous, and they will literally jump on anything.
01:11Okay, now sign this saying I trained you or you're fired.
01:14Nadia?
01:15Yes.
01:15That's what a piece of stuff.
01:17Today we will uncover the cadavers, including the genitalia.
01:21They may be swollen.
01:23May I remind you, you are all future doctors, so I don't want to hear any giggling and I
01:28certainly don't want to see our heroic donors in sunglasses on TikTok.
01:32Yes, Kel?
01:33Do we have to?
01:34Do we have to what?
01:36Uncover the body.
01:37Yes.
01:37That's literally the point.
01:38Okay.
01:39Is there like a vegan or a rubber, I don't know, less corpse-y option lying around?
01:43You can't be a doctor without touching a cadaver.
01:46What do you want?
01:47A mannequin?
01:48You want to cut it and see if it's cake or not?
01:50No.
01:51No, that would be great though.
01:52Kel, remove the sheet.
01:56Damn, that dude's real dead.
02:03Someone bring a gurney.
02:14You want to feel, is there everything's real, is there everything's real on me?
02:30Oh, my God.
02:33Yes.
02:33Oh, my God.
02:33Oh, yeah.
02:35Yeah, I'm so close.
02:36Sir?
02:37Yes.
02:37Yes, right there.
02:38Just like that.
02:39Oh, my God.
02:41Oh, my God.
02:44Are you on your phone?
02:48I'm just double checking the time for the interview.
02:50Oh, my God.
02:50You've got to be kidding me.
02:52Viv, I'm sorry.
02:54Josh, you've checked it like a hundred times already.
02:56Baby, it's the Wes Dryden show.
02:58I can't screw this up.
02:59It's a TV show.
03:00I am your literal girlfriend who was just fucking your brains out.
03:03Which I loved and want to circle back to.
03:05But the Wes Dryden show is not just a TV show.
03:08To me, the Wes Dryden show is investigative journalism at its best.
03:12Wes Dryden is an American hero.
03:15And I realize I'm saying that to a social worker.
03:19God, I'm such an asshole.
03:20I'm sorry.
03:21I'm just so nervous.
03:23You're not an asshole.
03:25You're just a huge nerd who's inexplicably passionate about TV journalism.
03:30Who's freakishly strong and good at sex?
03:40Ava?
03:41Rise and shine, sleepyhead.
03:43I made you an oat milk latte.
03:45Ava?
03:47Ava?
03:47What the hell?
03:50Davis, you're such a great guy, but I don't think it's going to work out.
03:54Can you text me what brand of humidifier you have?
03:56XO Ava.
04:03Hey, is this cardigan pretentious?
04:05Uh, yeah.
04:06So are you.
04:06Thanks.
04:07Wait, am I pretentious?
04:09I'd love to talk about this later.
04:10I'm working on my lights for my callback.
04:12You got a callback for that play?
04:13That's huge.
04:14Yeah, dude, I know.
04:15I sent in a tape like two weeks ago and heard nothing,
04:18which is basically what always happens with these open casting calls.
04:21But I just got an email and they want to see me in person.
04:23Dude!
04:23You're great in person!
04:24I know!
04:25Wait, but how are you able to do this and med school?
04:27Okay, so I have this new system where basically I don't sleep at night,
04:31but when I shower, I allow myself to drift off,
04:33and then when the water gets cold, I get out.
04:35That's not a system, that's a cry for help.
04:38No, no, it's working great.
04:39I just haven't figured out how to stop fainting or nodding off in conversation.
04:43Did a beautiful woman leave here this morning?
04:45Yeah.
04:46Yeah, she was definitely in a hurry.
04:48Well, that's it.
04:50I will be alone the rest of my life.
04:53Davis, it's just one girl.
04:55It's okay.
04:55No, no, I won't be fine.
04:56You guys don't get it.
04:57I am the complete package.
04:59I am a straight man in New York City with a high paying job and a great body,
05:03Cavs could use some work, who wants to wife up a woman and have four beautiful kids who go to
05:08private school.
05:08Do you know how rare that is?
05:10And yet, I am single.
05:11I am a loser.
05:13You clearly don't think you're a loser.
05:14You just complimented yourself like five times.
05:17Kel, bro, are you asleep?
05:19I'm up, I'm up, I'm up.
05:20You, you, uh, girls like you and you have a great body.
05:23Davey, you gotta chill out and not come on too strong.
05:25Come on too strong.
05:27All I did was go on her social media, find out her favorite drink and then get my barista certification
05:31to learn to write on latte foam so I could personalize her coffee when she woke up.
05:35Kel, Kel, get my back here.
05:37I can't.
05:37You're like a sociopath.
05:38You gotta stop doing weird shit like that, man.
05:40Oh, and speaking of coffee, can you guys grind your beans and eat breakfast on the terrace?
05:44Why?
05:44Why?
05:44Vivian mentioned it's loud for her in the morning.
05:47Yeah, but Vivian doesn't live here.
05:48She basically does.
05:50Yeah, except in the way where she pays rent.
05:52Guys, I know this is not ideal, but we'll be out of your hair soon when we move to the
05:56apartment across the hall.
05:58Sorry.
05:59I appreciate you.
06:00I cannot believe that you have a girlfriend.
06:02And I don't.
06:03I'm gonna go shower alone.
06:09Can I help you?
06:10Hi.
06:10Uh, I'm new to the building.
06:11My phone died.
06:13I forgot my apartment number.
06:15Miss, I think we're all good here.
06:17I know this scam.
06:18You get inside, you chat us up, and suddenly my laptop's missing.
06:21Oh my god, it's you.
06:23What?
06:24Nothing.
06:25Um, do you know where Abby Chilicore lives?
06:28Abby.
06:28Uh, Indian.
06:29Gorgeous.
06:29Smells like a garden after a summer's rain.
06:31Wow.
06:32Uh, yes.
06:33That is her.
06:34Right across the hall of 6D.
06:36Hey, friendly bit of advice.
06:37I'd lose the Red Sox hat, and it's not gonna make you a lot of friends around here.
06:40Ugh.
06:41Wow.
06:42Um, are you making a lot of friends in that cardigan?
06:45Excuse me?
06:46This cardigan belonged to my father, and when our cleaning lady accidentally shrunk it,
06:50he gave it to me.
06:51Cool.
06:52Bye.
06:53Nice meeting you, neighbor.
06:54Neighbor?
06:55You're moving across the hall?
06:57Yeah.
06:58Lucky me.
06:59Tell Abby Kel says hi.
07:01Nice to meet you, neighbor.
07:02No.
07:02No, Kel.
07:03What?
07:03It's not nice to meet her.
07:05She was very rude about my sweater.
07:08Ah, you're finally here.
07:10Welcome to New York.
07:12Oh, Abby.
07:13Abby, get in here.
07:15Shut the door.
07:16Why didn't you tell me?
07:18We live next door to Josh.
07:20Who?
07:21Botswana Josh.
07:22Who is Botswana Josh?
07:24This is a shoe-free apartment, but continue.
07:26Sophomore year.
07:27Model UN.
07:27He came to Penn with the Michigan team.
07:30It was the height of COVID.
07:31I hadn't seen the lower half of a man's face in a year.
07:35You.
07:36Moonlight.
07:37You're my.
07:38Sunlight.
07:39I need you.
07:40All night.
07:41All night.
07:42Come on, dance with me.
07:43I'm levitating.
07:44We took him back to our room, and we hooked up.
07:47But Botswana Josh left before the sun came up.
07:50I woke up, and he was gone.
07:53I remember now.
07:54That son of a bitch.
07:55I slept in the hallway so you guys could have sex.
07:58Someone leaned their bike on me.
07:59I texted him, but he ghosted me, and I never heard from him again until now.
08:04Oh, fuck this.
08:05Wait, wait, wait.
08:06Where are you going?
08:07To confront Botswana Josh and humiliate him in front of his roommates.
08:10No, no.
08:11Stop.
08:11He didn't even recognize me.
08:12We can never speak of this.
08:13It's too embarrassing.
08:15Forget it.
08:16Just show me the apartment.
08:23I'm nothing, Pop.
08:25Pop, I'm nothing.
08:27Can't you understand that?
08:29There's no spite in it anymore.
08:33I'm just what I am.
08:37That's all.
08:44That's good, man.
08:45How you doing?
08:46Uh, Quest.
08:46Oh, my God.
08:47Quest Love.
08:48Yeah, man.
08:48Yo, what are you doing here?
08:49Oh, I'm one of the producers.
08:51Like, if it's in New York and it's cool, then they kind of had to ask me.
08:55Well, thank you.
08:56Wow.
08:56It's such an honor to meet you.
08:57And my mom, she wants to hook you up with one of my cousins if you're single.
09:00Yeah, I get that from moms a lot.
09:02Hey, let's move on to the next part.
09:05Uh, next part?
09:06Yeah, the freestyle rap.
09:08Oh, freestyle rap.
09:10That's a part of the show?
09:12Might be.
09:12We're workshopping it.
09:14But you got this.
09:14Yeah.
09:15Yeah, have fun with it.
09:16Drop a beat.
09:16You got this, man.
09:17Oh, good.
09:25I'm gonna get the next one.
09:26Yeah.
09:27Uh, yeah.
09:29My name is Kel.
09:30I'm here to say I had a turkey sandwich for lunch today.
09:34Uh, mayo, lettuce, ketchup, and turkey.
09:37That's good, man.
09:37But move off ingredients.
09:39Okay, okay.
09:39Uh, there was celery and carrots and turkey and pickles.
09:43You're still doing ingredients.
09:44Rap about something else.
09:45Like, tell me about yourself.
09:46Myself?
09:47Yeah.
09:47Okay.
09:47Uh, I got dreams of a sandwich.
09:51Uh-huh.
09:51Cause it's lunchtime and I'm famished.
09:53Hey, this is steaks, man.
09:55We're good.
09:57Switch the beat up.
09:58Can I get another beat?
09:59Yeah, we're good, man.
10:00Yeah.
10:07Why is this place so nice?
10:08What's going on here?
10:10Ethan didn't appreciate it.
10:12Oh, yeah.
10:12Have you heard from him since you broke up?
10:14No, and thank God.
10:15Get this.
10:16He became a singer-songwriter.
10:18Ew.
10:19Yeah, country music.
10:20All his songs are about the road.
10:22Oh.
10:23He grew up in Greenwich.
10:24I'm sorry.
10:24What road?
10:25And why is his mail still coming here?
10:28I'm gonna talk to the super about taking his name off our mailbox.
10:30No, don't.
10:31It's okay.
10:32I'll take care of it.
10:33Can I just say it feels so good to hear you finally trash him.
10:37I mean, obviously, I always hated him, but I don't have any credibility because I hate
10:42all your boyfriends.
10:43Okay.
10:43Well, it all worked out because you can live here now.
10:46And also, pay rent.
10:47Let's not lie, I get paid crumbs to be screamed at by my boss.
10:50It's crazy that the stylist you used to stock on Instagram in college is now your boss.
10:54I mean, it's also a never-meet-your-heroes type of situation, but I'm proud.
10:59I'm proud of you, too.
11:00Also, aren't you starting work tomorrow?
11:02Yes, and I need this job so bad.
11:04I looked at my student loan balance and genuinely scared myself.
11:07Hey, at your new job, I need you to try and make friends, okay?
11:11I know that can be hard for you.
11:13What are you talking about?
11:14I'm lovely.
11:15I mean, unless somebody breathes too loudly and then obviously I snap.
11:19You're not.
11:20You're anxious, angry, and obsessed with justice.
11:22And as much as I adore you, AJ, I cannot be your entire social ecosystem.
11:26Just put yourself out there.
11:28Be friendly.
11:29At least try.
11:31I can do that.
11:39Jocelyn, my lady.
11:41How was the weekend?
11:42My Achilles flared, so I had to go to urgent care to get it drained.
11:46The nurse was kind of hot, though.
11:47Self-care and a meet-cute.
11:49Damn, girl!
11:50Dilip, what's up, my man?
11:52Must we always fist bump?
11:54A simple wave works.
11:55Absolutely not.
11:56No, I need to feel your knuckles on mine.
12:01How was the weekend?
12:02Lovely.
12:03Charmella and I renewed our hours in Tennessee.
12:06Blackberry Farm in Walland.
12:07Voted most romantic place for couples in the continental US.
12:10Yes.
12:11Have you been?
12:11No.
12:12No, I just hope to take someone there.
12:15Someday.
12:16God, I'm so lonely.
12:18Davis, when I met Charmella at IIT, it was love at first sight.
12:24For me.
12:25Not for her.
12:26So, you know what I did?
12:28You wine dined and 69'd her.
12:29I did not and never say that again.
12:31I backed off.
12:33Became her friend.
12:35Eventually, Charmella felt the same way about me.
12:37I think you could learn from that, Davis.
12:40I mean, that goes against my entire personality, but I'll try.
12:44Yeah, right.
12:44No chance in hell.
12:45Hey, give me a break, Jocelyn.
12:50Okay, so what famous people are you dressing right now?
12:53Right now?
12:54Austin Blanchett.
12:55Austin Blanchett?
12:57Mm-hmm.
12:57Kate Blanchett's nephew?
12:58Yeah.
12:58What is he like?
12:59No idea.
13:01Vanessa deals with him.
13:02I just iron his socks.
13:04And that is important work, too.
13:07Okay, I am gonna head this way.
13:10Am I running?
13:11Oh, please.
13:12You're practicing your commute to work, you nerd.
13:14Yeah, it's normal.
13:15No, it's not.
13:16But have fun!
13:26Max!
13:28Hey.
13:28Yeah, double espresso.
13:31Uh, I was next.
13:33No, you were on your phone in the limelight.
13:34I was glancing at my phone for two seconds.
13:37Yeah, well, I don't have all day why you make your TikToks or whatever.
13:39All right?
13:40Some of us have to work.
13:41Are you kidding me?
13:42No, cell phones are a scourge and should be banned in public.
13:44Keep the change.
13:45Hey, pal.
13:45I don't need an icy cold take on cell phones from some boomer dad in orthopedic sneakers.
13:51Okay.
13:52I have plantar fasciitis and I was born in the 80s.
13:55You just told me we were born in different centuries.
13:59Sir, I will pay you $100 to not serve this woman over here.
14:03What?
14:03Are you serious?
14:04You know what?
14:05Actually, $500.
14:06Because this woman wasted our valuable time.
14:09You deserve to be compensated and she should learn a lesson.
14:12Yeah, I'll take it.
14:12Sorry, lady.
14:13Just because you have $500 to throw around doesn't mean you get to be an asshole.
14:18That's exactly what it means.
14:20Cheers.
14:22Next.
14:38Wow.
14:39Paula Miller, it is an honor to meet you.
14:41You are a feminist icon to women and men.
14:44You know, normally new PAs have three rounds of interviews before they meet with me.
14:49Oh.
14:50Really, just to be clear, I submitted my resume through the portal like any other applicant.
14:53Right, right, right, right.
14:55But unlike all the other hundreds of applicants, you're our CEO's son.
15:00Look, I get it.
15:01And there's a much-needed conversation going on about nepotism in the workplace.
15:04But if we're going to talk about that, we should also talk about whose land we're on right now.
15:09It was the Lenape people who were the first custodians.
15:12Okay, stop, stop, stop.
15:13You seem like a nice kid.
15:16But it's not going to happen.
15:18You aren't even going to interview me?
15:20I've seen enough.
15:22You can go.
15:32I want you to put out a memo, and I cannot express how important this is.
15:36No more microwaving lunch in the kitchen.
15:39The whole floor smells like a fisherman's wharf.
15:41Got it? No fish.
15:42Oh my God, Wes Dride.
15:44Hello.
15:45I am such a big fan.
15:48Your show is literally the last bastion of investigative journalism.
15:53If truth disappears, so follows democracy.
15:57God, I hate the smell of fish.
16:00You want seafood?
16:00You have it at home.
16:01To be clear, I will continue to eat sushi.
16:03I actually just interviewed for the new PA gig.
16:07Probably didn't get it, but to have the opportunity to work for you.
16:11That's kind, but remember, it's a very competitive position.
16:14You can always apply again.
16:16Totally.
16:16All right.
16:17Sorry, I didn't introduce myself.
16:19Josh, title bomb.
16:24Title bomb?
16:25Well, I believe I know your father.
16:33Tomorrow is Austin's movie premiere, and I don't mean to sound scary,
16:37but if anything goes wrong, I will fucking kill you.
16:39His finger should never touch a button.
16:42Anticipate.
16:42Also, he might not be wearing underwear, so please do not gawk at his genitals.
16:46Got it.
16:47Don't look at his penis.
16:48Or his scrotum, Abby.
16:51All right, so this is what he'll be wearing.
16:55Oh, wow.
16:57Where's the shirt?
16:59There is no shirt.
17:00This is the new Danish designer, Blemish.
17:02Austin wears this, we get the Blemish campaign,
17:04which pays way more than an indie film premiere.
17:07So why bring options?
17:08The illusion of choice.
17:10This goes on the rack first, followed by a bunch of crap.
17:12He'll beg to wear it.
17:14So you want me to put together a bunch of bad outfits?
17:18Welcome to the conversation, yes.
17:26Can I show you my outfit for my first day of work?
17:29Desperately, yes.
17:31I think it's cool.
17:32It's business, but the brooch says fun.
17:35It says I manage a dialysis center.
17:38What?
17:38Oh, God.
17:40I'm spiraling.
17:40Everyone in finance dresses like a Vogue intern who also has an MBA.
17:44Hey.
17:44Hey.
17:45Okay, when I met you freshman year, I thought,
17:48who is this angry little boy in a Rajon Rondo jersey?
17:50Rondo's the best.
17:51And then I marched right over to the registrar to get reassigned.
17:53You did?
17:54And when they wouldn't let me, it was the best thing that ever happened.
17:58Because this little Boston townie is a low-key genius with integrity.
18:02And everyone at your job will see that.
18:05You're welcome.
18:07Now let's get you something different.
18:08This outfit is hurting our friendship.
18:10Oh, my God.
18:11I love you forever.
18:14What is that smell?
18:22It's my flat iron.
18:23I was using it to iron my clothes.
18:28Mouthwash is flammable.
18:33You got the job?
18:34I'm so proud of you.
18:37Fucking Christiane, I'm gonna pour over here.
18:39You know, it didn't happen the way I expected.
18:42But you know what?
18:42I'm gonna win them all over.
18:43Let's go get a drink and celebrate.
18:44I can't.
18:46I already took my melatonin.
18:47I could fall asleep at the bar and get roofied.
18:50What the hell?
18:50Thank God.
18:51Someone fun.
18:51Come get a drink with me.
18:53No, thanks.
18:54Didn't get the part.
18:55So I can't quit med school.
18:56I'll just be one of those sad-ass doctors who gets, like, two into the Oscars every year.
19:01Oh, what the hell?
19:02Holy shit!
19:03You guys did the fire!
19:04Come on!
19:04We gotta get out!
19:05I'm not gonna lose you like this!
19:06Grab the photobook from Six Flags!
19:11Be careful!
19:12These garments are worth more than your lies.
19:16Okay, I have to tell you something.
19:18My name's not in the lease.
19:20Ethan's is.
19:20That's why I keep his mail.
19:22I said he was a pilot and traveling.
19:24You don't live here.
19:24You're visiting.
19:25Wait, what?
19:26Abby, how are you this evening?
19:28Oh, hey!
19:29This is Antoine, my landlord.
19:32I'm great.
19:33I now have footage confirming that you are good during this flame event.
19:36No legal liability.
19:38And you are?
19:40This is my friend.
19:41She's visiting from Sydney.
19:43Oh, all the way from Australia.
19:45Mm-hmm.
19:45G'day, Mike.
19:46Can you believe this bloody fire, Mike?
19:48I didn't understand any of that, but it was nice to meet you.
19:52What was that?
19:53Why didn't you just say I was from Boston?
19:55Because I'm not a professional liar, okay?
19:56It doesn't come naturally to me.
19:58Hey.
19:59Nice to meet you.
20:00Privately.
20:00Uh, I'm so sorry about earlier.
20:04I just wanted to make you aware that your roommate is committing rental fraud.
20:08So?
20:09So, it's unethical, first of all.
20:12And second of all, me and my girlfriend, she's a social worker, by the way.
20:16We're planning on moving in.
20:18Legally.
20:20Yeah, the creativity is making my acne flare up.
20:23Oh, shit!
20:24Dude, it's Abby.
20:25Four o'clock.
20:26Okay, now's your chance to go and talk to her.
20:27She's by herself.
20:27No, no, no, she's not into me and I already took my contacts out.
20:30I can't.
20:30Hey, man, if you don't go and talk to her, then I will.
20:33Then she'll fall in love with me and it'll ruin our friendship.
20:35Okay, stop, stop.
20:36Fine.
20:37Okay, let's go.
20:38Yo, Abby!
20:40What's up?
20:41God, crazy about this fire, huh?
20:43I hope Kel's medical textbooks don't get burned up.
20:45Sorry, this is Kel.
20:46He's in medical school.
20:47Yeah, I know.
20:48He told me when he hit on me at that Halloween party in 4C.
20:51What?
20:52I wasn't hitting on you.
20:53I just said you looked beautiful in your Harley Quinn costume
20:56and I asked to see your bedroom.
20:58Wow!
20:59Sparks!
21:01Well, I know when I'm a third wheel.
21:03Good night, you crazy kids.
21:05I'm gonna see if I can sneak back in.
21:09So, you're in med school?
21:11My parents would be so psyched if I was gonna be a doctor.
21:14Yeah, it's kind of the only reason I'm doing it.
21:16What would you rather be doing?
21:18Honestly?
21:19I want to be an actor.
21:21When I was a kid, my parents put me in the church nativity play.
21:24I was Joseph.
21:25And I killed it.
21:27I mean, they even gave me some of Mary's lines.
21:28And I've been hooked ever since.
21:30And I feel like I found a piece of myself I didn't know was missing.
21:35I'm sorry.
21:36I don't know why I'm telling you all this.
21:37I mean, who knows if you can act, but I think you can make it.
21:41You're pretty good looking.
21:43Good looking.
21:45Oh, God.
21:45Damn, girl, our building is on fire.
21:48I'm just trying to stay alive.
21:49I'm not trying to get hit on.
21:50I'm never making small talk with you again.
21:51This is unbelievable.
21:52You're so exhausting and self-important.
21:56Don't make us the villain in your sob story.
21:58There is a housing crisis.
22:00Then move to New Jersey.
22:02I'm sorry, is there a problem over here?
22:04Yeah, there's a problem.
22:05You're both criminals.
22:07No wonder trust is eroding in our society.
22:09Hey, so don't saunter over here making accusations.
22:11Especially not in that cardigan.
22:13You look like a grandpa in a Christmas commercial.
22:15Hey, don't talk to him like that.
22:16Only we can say his cardigan sucks.
22:18This cardigan is cool.
22:19It gives me a quiet sophistication.
22:22Everyone, we've identified the source of the fire.
22:24It was coming from 6-D.
22:26I knew it.
22:27It was a cheap flat iron.
22:28One of the ones you get when you're traveling
22:31and you forgot your nice one at home.
22:32Her hair isn't even that good.
22:34Anyway, it's been contained.
22:36You can all go back in.
22:41This isn't over.
22:43As a member of this building's community,
22:45I don't feel safe anymore.
22:48This could have been another Triangle Shirtwaist factory.
22:50That was the deadliest industrial disaster.
22:52Oh, I know the Triangle Shirtwaist factory.
22:55Yeah, Josh, Antoine was the dance captain
22:56for the musical adaptation on Broadway.
22:58You two went down in flames.
23:00Okay, well, I'm very sorry to hear that.
23:02But as our landlord, I think you should know,
23:05the original leaseholder of 6-D no longer lives there.
23:09The current tenants are committing rental fraud.
23:12Those little bitches.
23:14That word is.
23:16Problematic.
23:16But I don't disagree.
23:17The good news, I have an amazing replacement.
23:19My girlfriend and me.
23:21We don't smoke.
23:22We don't own pets.
23:23They don't have sex.
23:24We do.
23:24We just don't make a whole thing about it.
23:27And we can pay the security deposit in cash.
23:29First month, last month,
23:30and I get to store my snowboard in the second bedroom.
23:32Deal.
23:33Always a pleasure doing business with you gentlemen.
23:36And don't think I didn't see that space heater.
23:39My feet get cold.
23:40Get some socks.
23:44It's not a human.
23:46It's just a piece of meat.
23:48It's a piece of meat with hopes and dreams.
23:50No, it's not helping.
23:53You are a doctor.
23:55Pretend to be a doctor.
23:56Kel, we can all hear you.
23:58This is very awkward for us.
24:00Sorry.
24:04Fine work.
24:05You've come a long way, Kel.
24:07And that rush you're feeling, that's the reason we do this.
24:10Yeah.
24:11What if I don't feel anything?
24:14Excuse me?
24:14Yeah, like just cut this guy open and I don't feel anything.
24:20And not in like a Dexter, I'm a serial killer kind of way.
24:23But you know, like I just don't find it fulfilling or even interesting.
24:27You know, like when you cut open an Amazon box and you already know it's printer paper.
24:31Is everything okay?
24:32Are you going to faint?
24:33Yeah, no, no.
24:33I can't carry you out again.
24:35No, no, no.
24:35I think I thought that at some point if I got good enough, that it would click and I would
24:40love it.
24:41And that's just not happening.
24:42And that's not fair to you guys, or to you, Dr. Desai, or to this uncircumcised cadaver.
24:47So I think I'm just gonna go.
24:49Excuse me.
24:53That was weird.
24:55You did what?
24:56I quit medical school.
24:57Like, quit?
24:59Quit?
24:59Yeah.
25:00I walked out of the cadaver lab, just got on the six, and I guess somewhere along the line I
25:04impulse bought this sweatshirt.
25:06What's with the big pause? Be happy for me. This is a good thing.
25:09Is it?
25:10You don't have a job. You're not in school. You're basically a-
25:13A big fat loser, bro. In a child-sized sweatshirt.
25:16That explains why the neck hole is so small.
25:18But I'm not a loser. I'm finally free to pursue my dreams.
25:21I'm just processing. I've known you since you were 12, and you've never done anything this impulsive.
25:25I also don't think you've blinked once since you started talking?
25:28Cause my eyes are open to the truth of who I am.
25:31And your parents are cool with this?
25:33I haven't told them yet.
25:34Are you kidding me?
25:35So that's why you're in such a good mood. You haven't been murdered by your mom yet.
25:38I can handle my mom. But you two need to get on board.
25:41That's what being friends is all about, right? We support each other even when it doesn't make sense.
25:44Like when you dyed your hair to look like Machine Gun Kelly.
25:46Ooh, yes. I was thinking of doing that again.
25:48No.
25:49No.
25:49Cal, I'll admit, you've been miserable. And I miss seeing the light in your eyes. So, congrats.
25:55And you deserve to be happy for the 18 hours before your mom finds out and kills you.
26:07Oh my god.
26:08Is that good or bad?
26:09You look like such a finance bitch. Power suit, check. No makeup, makeup, check. Coach Tabby bag, check.
26:16I would give you all my money to lose in a Ponzi scheme. They're gonna love you.
26:20And I like that outfit you're styling. It's so... artsy?
26:25It's supposed to be bad.
26:26Oh, great. You killed it.
26:28Okay.
26:29Wish me luck.
26:39Okay.
26:54Wish me luck.
26:59But I, I can only see you.
27:04You got this best girl, yeah.
27:07Won't you believe me?
27:10That I can't only see what's in front of me.
27:16And it's you.
27:19And it's me.
27:20And it's me.
27:21And it's me.
27:21Oh.
27:24Hi.
27:24Um, I'm AJ, a new consumer and retail analyst. You must be our VP, Dalib.
27:29Yes, I emailed you a deal book that needs formatting.
27:32And I would love to do that for you. Do I have a desk?
27:34Great. Uh, do I have an email?
27:37You know what? I will figure it out myself.
27:43Oh, boy.
27:48You're our first year?
27:49The girl from the lobby.
27:50Wow.
27:51This, this is incredible.
27:52What a warm welcome. Hi.
27:54Oh, man. You should be so psyched.
27:55Uh, first off.
27:56Hi.
27:57I'm Davis Bo Bradley Barrett III.
28:00And this is the best day of your life.
28:01You landed on the dream team.
28:03My man Dalib and I, we crush deals.
28:05And don't get me started on Jocelyn.
28:06She is a beast.
28:08Postponed foot surgery three times so she didn't miss work.
28:10That's why she's got that badass cane.
28:12Ruptured Achilles.
28:13It's excruciating, but it's worth it.
28:15I'm happy for you.
28:16How are the MDs?
28:17Oh, there's only one that matters.
28:19Uh, Bill Gibson.
28:21The legend.
28:22Bill the Butcher.
28:23Youngest MD ever.
28:24Made three billion before 30.
28:25He also dated a Hadid.
28:27Eh, that is just a rumor.
28:28It's not a rumor.
28:29Where is he?
28:31Sorry.
28:32Oh, Bill doesn't work regular hours.
28:34He makes his own rules.
28:36When he's here, you'll know.
28:37He lives in that office.
28:39Oh, great.
28:41Can't wait to be useful.
28:42Yeah.
28:45Hey, I know we just met, but I would really love to be a resource in your professional toolkit.
28:57I appreciate it.
28:59Mm-hmm.
29:02Oh, get over here.
29:07Does anyone know what the password is?
29:09Yeah, I got it.
29:10I got you.
29:11Yeah.
29:14Everyone, attention, please, attention.
29:17Meet Josh Teitelbaum.
29:19Yes, that Teitelbaum, adding a touch of class to this place.
29:23He's our new production assistant.
29:25Isn't this glamorous?
29:27What?
29:28I think he'll make a wonderful addition.
29:30Um, could we please discuss this in private?
29:32No need, Paula.
29:33It's a done deal.
29:34Well, there were other qualified candidates, like Elena.
29:38Who's Elena?
29:39I'm Elena.
29:39I've been working here for a year.
29:41I drove you home from your colonoscopy.
29:43Oh, uh, Elena.
29:46Yes, you're great.
29:48You have to understand, I was very high that day.
29:51Isn't it wonderful?
29:52We can have Elena, the intern, and Josh, both working here.
29:57Paula, let me get him a desk or something.
30:05I brought cupcakes.
30:06Ooh.
30:07Elena, you want to grab us some plates and napkins?
30:14Not a good time.
30:17I know I wasn't your first choice, but I am smart, I am hardworking, and I will prove
30:22to you that I was the right choice.
30:24Do you want to know how I got this job?
30:26Oh, yes.
30:28Please.
30:29Love an origin story.
30:30In the early 90s, things weren't great for women in TV.
30:35I can't imagine.
30:35You probably had to work twice as hard to rise up the ranks.
30:38I had to work ten times as hard.
30:40And still got nowhere.
30:41So I got creative.
30:43I married Wes.
30:45I'm sorry, you were married to Wes Dryden?
30:48But he's gay.
30:49And so are you.
30:51You've never told me how you identify.
30:54Oh, we're both raging homos.
30:55But back then, Wes had to look like a family man for the anchor job.
31:00And I needed to seem sexually palatable to one man to earn the respect of other men.
31:06That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
31:08Yeah.
31:09So that's what I had to do.
31:11And to think, all you had to do was to say your last name.
31:17I am seeing the discrepancy.
31:18So as long as I'm here, you will never advance at the show.
31:22And I'm not going anywhere.
31:23I've been on the Blue Zone diet since Clinton's first term.
31:27So unless that cupcake is made of algae, you can leave.
31:45Hi, Vanessa.
31:46Where are you?
31:46The fitting starts in ten minutes.
31:48I'm going to the hospital.
31:50What?
31:51What happened?
31:52I was in a taxi and there was stupid fucking gridlock.
31:56So I got out to walk and I got hit by a pedicab.
31:58A pedicab?
31:59How?
31:59Those things go like two miles an hour.
32:01I may have been texting with Loewe's head of PR and wasn't looking.
32:06Anyway, the point is, you have to get Austin ready by yourself.
32:10Me?
32:10Alone?
32:12Fuck my life.
32:13Yes, that's what by yourself means.
32:15God, now I'm panicking.
32:17Can you sedate me, sir?
32:19Like in the movies?
32:21Vanessa, don't worry about it.
32:23I got it.
32:29Hi, does anyone here have any upper body strength?
32:35Welcome to our first year analyst speaker series.
32:40We're thrilled to be talking with someone who is very hard to pin down.
32:45Managing director, Bill Gibson.
32:53So much is said about the intense lifestyle of investment bankers.
32:58But at Fisherstassen we're working hard to reject that old trope.
33:02So, let's start with work-life balance.
33:06What's that quote?
33:07No one on their deathbed ever said they wish they spent more time in the office?
33:12Yes, exactly.
33:14Total bullshit.
33:15Look, I'm from bumfuck Oklahoma.
33:18Alright?
33:18I was nobody until I got here.
33:20You mean you found community?
33:22No.
33:22Fuck community.
33:23I found power.
33:25Look, you ever close a billion dollar merger?
33:27It's better than the best night of sex you ever had.
33:30He's being metaphorical.
33:32No, I'm not.
33:33And it's not about the expense account or the drugs.
33:35Although those are great too.
33:37It's about the leverage.
33:39That's real power.
33:40And about work-life balance.
33:42If this job were easy, everyone would do it.
33:45Do you have anything inspirational you could impart to our young people?
33:50Yeah.
33:51You're no longer young people.
33:53You're just people.
33:54And people are either productive or dead weight.
33:58So if you want to take off on a Friday to go to a music festival.
34:02Or if you want to whine because your boss won't let you grow a mustache.
34:05If you're not willing to sacrifice everything for this job.
34:10The exit is right there.
34:14Thank you, Bill.
34:15That was such a colorful, unfiltered perspective.
34:18But remember, that does not reflect company values.
34:22Please don't post this.
34:26Thank you so much for meeting me, Naya.
34:28How's work?
34:29Really good.
34:30It's a great time to be in plastic surgery.
34:32Literally, everyone hates how they look.
34:33Even hot people.
34:35What's up?
34:37I'm dropping out of medical school.
34:39You're joking.
34:40Is this because you fainted in the cadaver lab?
34:42You know about that?
34:43Yes.
34:44Everyone's talking about it.
34:45It's all over the club.
34:45You read it.
34:47Cal, everyone hates med school and thinks about dropping out.
34:49You'll get over it.
34:50No, I won't.
34:51I'm miserable.
34:52I don't even want to be a doctor.
34:54I just really need you on my side when I tell mom.
34:56I just need some time to figure out what to say next time I see you.
35:00Oh, my God.
35:00You're going to kill me.
35:02What?
35:02Why?
35:03Mom's here.
35:03What?
35:04Well, she called me and I told her we were having lunch.
35:07So she asked if she could stop by.
35:08Naya.
35:09I didn't know.
35:10There are my babies.
35:12Mom.
35:14I didn't know you'd be here.
35:15I love it.
35:17It's so hard to get both of you together.
35:19Mom.
35:19You're in surgery.
35:21You're fainting in the cadaver lab.
35:23Wow.
35:24So everyone knows.
35:25But what does it matter?
35:26You're becoming a doctor.
35:30Mom, I'm glad that you're here.
35:32I didn't think I'd be telling you this now, but I don't-
35:34Any second, Kel.
35:35I want to take our Christmas card photos.
35:37Christmas card photos?
35:38Yes.
35:39Both of you in your doctor coats.
35:42It's a festive way to let our friends and family know my children are more successful than this.
35:48That is what the holidays are all about.
35:50Now, Kel, what did you want to tell me?
35:54That this card rocks.
35:56Let's take this pick.
35:56All right, now.
35:58Wait for these people to move.
36:00Let's do back-to-back.
36:02Bigger smiles.
36:03You love being a doctor.
36:05Yes.
36:05Please.
36:11Ugh.
36:11I had a horrible day.
36:13My 60-year-old boss told me she'll outlive me, and I think I believe her?
36:17I'm sorry to hear that.
36:18I got you tie from fish cheeks.
36:21My favorite.
36:23You always know how to make me feel better.
36:28What's up?
36:29Wait, why do you have your suitcase?
36:31The food is actually a goodbye gift.
36:33I'm leaving.
36:35What?
36:36Josh, I'm not in love with you anymore.
36:38Are you kidding me?
36:40I'm getting our neighbors evicted so we can move in together.
36:43Well, about that, it's the craziest thing.
36:46I was looking at an apartment, and just randomly, the guy who was showing me the listing, we just hit
36:53it off.
36:54You're leaving me for a real estate agent?
36:56Well, he's not just a real estate agent.
36:58Josh, he's a property brother.
37:01I mean, not the one with Zooey Deschanel or that guy's twin, but their younger brother.
37:05You're leaving me for a non-essential property brother?
37:08Uh, do not talk about Eric like that.
37:10Eric?
37:11The fuck?
37:12It was electric when we met, and it made me realize what is missing in our relationship.
37:17What are we missing?
37:18Well, he's fun, and he isn't embarrassed that he's rich.
37:22I mean, we will go to a restaurant even if the Sultan of Brunei owns it, or wear leather without
37:27it being a whole thing.
37:28I'm sorry.
37:29I'm not complicit in cow genocide.
37:31You know, the irony is, if you met him, you would love him.
37:35I don't want to hear about your stupid fucking realtor boyfriend.
37:38Vivian, take your Thai food and go.
37:44And for what it's worth, you can keep my Britta.
37:47Eric lets me drink single-use plastics.
37:51Congratulations, you're dating a monster.
37:56Yeah, I'm not doing a spray tan.
37:58It's the Independent Spirit Awards, not the VMAs.
38:01I mean, would Paul Mescal do a spray tan?
38:04Oh, it's his guy.
38:06Yeah, alright, let's do it.
38:08Okay, gotta go.
38:10Yeah, can we just make this fast?
38:11Sure, um, I'm Abby.
38:14I'm filling in for Vanessa, who is indisposed.
38:18Who's Vanessa?
38:19She's your stylist?
38:21Oh, the tiny grouchy woman?
38:23Mm-hmm.
38:23Cool.
38:24What are we wearing?
38:26Uh...
38:29Here we go.
38:32I know.
38:36Let me know if you need any help getting into it.
38:42Vanessa loves this for you.
38:45It's, uh, this designer Blemish.
38:47They're European, very avant-garde.
38:51Oh.
38:52I love it.
38:54It's, uh, such a choice.
38:56Oh, yeah?
38:57I mean, I think we can both agree this is horrible.
39:00But it doesn't matter.
39:02Fashion is not important.
39:05What?
39:07Fashion's not, not important just because you don't understand it.
39:10Oh, are you seriously trying to tell me this is a normal cool way to dress?
39:13I look like a time-traveling stripper.
39:15Okay.
39:15I agree that maybe it's a little over the top.
39:18I didn't get into acting to make a fashion statement.
39:21I mean, it's about the work, not what I wear.
39:24Are you gonna keep making these little sounds?
39:26I just, I'm sorry.
39:27If it is just about the work, then why do red carpets exist?
39:31Because if the audience is into the fashion, they're way more likely to see your movie.
39:34Fair enough.
39:35But I still don't like the suit, so unless you have something else that I can wear,
39:39Miss Fashion Justice Warrior, I'm gonna rock my T-shirt and jeans.
39:42Okay, wait.
39:43Wait, I, I, I might have something for you.
39:47Most of this rack is garbage, but I snuck something good in.
39:51Are you sure about that color? I'm gonna look like a pomegranate.
39:54It's Dolce & Gabbana.
39:57Colin Farrell's worn them.
39:59Colin Farrell?
40:01Mm-hmm.
40:02Really?
40:03Alright.
40:04Well, I'll try.
40:21Not tonight, rapist!
40:24What the hell?
40:25Oh!
40:25Davis?
40:26Why did you do that?
40:27Why are you following me?
40:29I'm not, I'm walking home.
40:30Home?
40:31Where?
40:32Right here.
40:32I'm 6C.
40:34I'm 6T?
40:35Oh my God.
40:36Do you live with Josh and that hot guy who's obsessed with my roommate?
40:39I think people consider me the hot one, but yes!
40:41Oh my God, my eyes!
40:43I'm sorry, Davis.
40:44Is there anything I can do?
40:45It's fine, it's fine, it's fine.
40:46I'm fine.
40:47Okay.
40:47Sorry again.
40:49Stressful day.
40:50May I ask?
40:51Is Bill, like, forgiving and chill?
40:54No.
40:55No, not at all.
40:56There's a reason your analyst job was open.
40:58He fired the previous girl because he didn't like how she spelled her name.
41:01Erica with a K?
41:02It's not even that weird of a way to spell Erica.
41:05And what if someone at work called him, like, an asshole?
41:09He'd kill them and fire them.
41:11In that order.
41:12Oh God.
41:13And all I wanted was for one person at work to like me.
41:18I like you.
41:22I mean, it means slightly less because you seem to like everyone.
41:27Guilty, but I usually don't feel that way about people who just pepper sprayed me.
41:32So, you're good.
41:37Anyways, I'm gonna go in and rinse my eyes just to make sure I'm not blind.
41:40Of course.
41:40So sorry again.
41:42Ah, good luck.
41:49Oh my God.
41:51You look so good.
41:52Really?
41:53Yeah.
41:54It's pretty red.
41:55It suits you.
41:56People are gonna lose it when they see you play that dying guy that ends up with Ana de Armas.
41:59You Googled my movie.
42:01Yeah, of course I did.
42:02The work is important too.
42:04Almost as important as the fashion.
42:07Okay.
42:07Well, take it off.
42:08I need to steam it.
42:14Were you just checking me out?
42:16What?
42:17No.
42:17Absolutely not.
42:18That is so unprofessional.
42:19No, I would never.
42:21It's too bad.
42:23I won't wait this time.
42:27No, not now.
42:28Not again.
42:29Not much longer.
42:32Let's make it last forever cause tonight's day.
42:36It's true.
42:38Oh, Ruth Bader Twinsburg.
42:41This is such a fucking good costume.
42:45Take out for agent.
42:47I know you are sad, but it is time to pay.
42:53I left my wallet upstairs.
42:55Can I Venmo you?
42:56Venmo?
42:57This is a restaurant.
42:59We are not roommates with a shared utility bill.
43:01I'll just run up and grab it.
43:02I cannot let you leave.
43:03Hey, man.
43:04I just had my heart shattered an hour ago.
43:07I don't know if that's ever happened to you.
43:08No.
43:09I have never been dumped.
43:10Okay.
43:10Well, can you give me a break and let me run upstairs and get the money?
43:13I can pay.
43:14I have cash.
43:15No.
43:16Absolutely not.
43:17She is a good friend.
43:18Oh, we are not.
43:21You really didn't need to do that.
43:22You know, I had it covered.
43:24You shouldn't rip off small businesses.
43:25That's not okay.
43:26I wasn't doing that.
43:27I love small business.
43:28You can just say thank you.
43:32Great.
43:33Gonna get my food.
43:35Wait.
43:35Hold on.
43:37Have we met before?
43:39Well, um, yeah.
43:41I live across the hall.
43:42No, no, no.
43:43Like, before that.
43:44You seem so familiar.
43:48Well, maybe your conscience wants you to be nicer to me.
43:52There.
43:54Thanks.
43:55Again.
43:56I'll pay you back.
43:58Sweet.
44:05Hey, Antoine.
44:06Forget what we said about the girls in 60.
44:09My bad.
44:12Hey, can you talk tomorrow?
44:14I might need a job.
44:18Oh, my God.
44:19What's happening?
44:20I was just pepper sprayed.
44:23Why are you smiling?
44:25Because I just met the woman of my dreams.
44:35Oh, my God.
44:37AJ.
44:38Austin wore an outfit.
44:39I styled today.
44:40And yes, Vanessa may kill me tomorrow, but...
44:44Wait.
44:45What's wrong?
44:47You know that asshole I told off at the coffee cart?
44:50Yeah.
44:51That was awesome.
44:51I love when you rage out on randoms.
44:54Well...
44:54Turns out, he's actually incredible.
44:57And brilliant.
44:58And my boss.
45:00And the second he sees me again, he's gonna fire me.
45:04Oh, shit.
45:12I love it all.
45:16Yeah.
45:18It's like there's nothing here.
45:27Yeah.
45:31I always love my wife.
45:32I love my kids.
45:33I love your kids.
45:34I love my kids.
45:35Hey, I love.
45:52Go to bed.
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