- 2 hours ago
Trevor Noah: Joy in the Trenches
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00:00:08What an interesting time it's been.
00:00:15I'm gonna be honest with all of you, I had a very different show planned.
00:00:21Yeah, very, very different show.
00:00:23In fact, when I planned this show in Washington DC, I had a very different relationship with
00:00:30the White House at that time.
00:00:33I had a whole different set planned.
00:00:35I was gonna tell you some jokes about me playing pickleball.
00:00:39And yeah, life happened.
00:00:43For those who don't know how it came to be, I'll try and tell you how it unfolded.
00:00:49I was hosting the Grammy Awards.
00:00:58It was a good time.
00:01:01Really good time.
00:01:02And then it wasn't.
00:01:05I hosted the show.
00:01:07Had to catch a flight back to the East Coast to come and do shows.
00:01:12And I don't connect to the Wi-Fi whenever I'm traveling.
00:01:16I'd just like to relax.
00:01:18And landed in Boston.
00:01:20And the first time I knew my life had changed was when someone walked past me on the plane
00:01:28as I was packing my laptop bag.
00:01:31And he just held me on the shoulder and he's like, Trevor, you fight.
00:01:36You got this.
00:01:38Fight.
00:01:38Come on.
00:01:39You got this.
00:01:41Did I look like I was struggling that much?
00:01:46Walking through the airport, people were giving me random thumbs ups of support.
00:01:50Like, yeah.
00:01:51Come on.
00:01:51You got this.
00:01:52Yeah.
00:01:53Hey.
00:01:53Yeah.
00:01:54Except black people.
00:01:55Black people were like, hey man.
00:02:01And then I turned on my phone.
00:02:03And honestly, I thought the thing was malfunctioning.
00:02:07Because it started vibrating even before the icons popped up.
00:02:10It was the Apple logo.
00:02:11And my phone was just like.
00:02:14Like, what the hell?
00:02:15And then when I turned it on, it was just notifications everywhere.
00:02:17I was like, oh man, did Michael Jackson die again?
00:02:19What happened?
00:02:20What is going on?
00:02:21Because every app, every app was going crazy.
00:02:23It was like iMessage.
00:02:25Bling bling bling bling bling bling bling.
00:02:26Whatsapp.
00:02:26Blah blah blah blah blah blah.
00:02:27Twitter.
00:02:27Blah blah blah.
00:02:28Instagram.
00:02:28Blah blah blah.
00:02:29Even UberEats was like, yo, you got some hot shit coming in, man.
00:02:35And I went through my messages and everyone I've ever known in my life had texted me.
00:02:40From kindergarten teachers onwards.
00:02:42Trevor, oh my god.
00:02:43Are you okay?
00:02:44Trevor, where are you?
00:02:44What's happening?
00:02:45Did you see?
00:02:45Did you see?
00:02:46Trevor, call me.
00:02:46Call me.
00:02:47Call me.
00:02:47Yo, don't call me.
00:02:48Call me.
00:02:48Call me.
00:02:49Trevor.
00:02:49What's happening?
00:02:50Trevor, did you see?
00:02:51And then one person was like, oh my god.
00:02:52Did you see what Trump said?
00:02:54And I was like, what?
00:02:55What did Trump say?
00:02:56What did Trump say this time?
00:02:59Oh boy.
00:03:00Let me check.
00:03:00What did Trump say?
00:03:01Me?
00:03:05Yeah.
00:03:06It hits different when you're in the crosshairs.
00:03:08I'm not gonna lie.
00:03:08Sorry.
00:03:13It's pretty crazy.
00:03:15I hosted The Daily Show for seven years.
00:03:17And for seven years, we covered news and politics in America, right?
00:03:25Because that's what the show is.
00:03:27And in that time, Donald Trump was in the news and politics all the time.
00:03:30And so I assumed at some point maybe he would say something about me or come after me.
00:03:34He didn't.
00:03:34Which I was happy about.
00:03:35I was like, great.
00:03:37You know?
00:03:37And then I left The Daily Show.
00:03:39And I relaxed like an idiot in a horror movie.
00:03:44And I went off and started hosting the Grammys.
00:03:46And I was like, this is delightful.
00:03:48It's a music show.
00:03:49So much more chill.
00:03:51Turns out the president watches the Grammys.
00:03:54Yeah.
00:03:55And he was not happy.
00:03:56He was not happy at all.
00:03:58No.
00:03:59He had written a post.
00:04:01A lengthy post.
00:04:03Giving me a Google review.
00:04:07Of my performance.
00:04:10And it wasn't like a flyby.
00:04:12It was like a full-on, I'll read the full thing to you.
00:04:16Because I don't want to misquote anything.
00:04:18I'll read you.
00:04:20This is what I saw when I searched my name and his.
00:04:26It was a post on Truth Social from at real Donald Trump.
00:04:32Fun aside, Donald Trump owns Truth Social.
00:04:35So it's a little weird that he doesn't have at Donald Trump.
00:04:39It's weird that somebody else got it.
00:04:40And he was like, fine.
00:04:41Real Donald Trump.
00:04:44Anyway.
00:04:45This is what the message read.
00:04:48The Grammy Awards are the worst!
00:04:53Every time I shout it's because the word is in all caps.
00:04:55I'm trying to give you a feeling of what I was experiencing.
00:05:00Virtually unwatchable.
00:05:01So some parts were good.
00:05:02CBS is lucky not to have this garbage litter there airwaves any longer.
00:05:06The host, Trevor Noah, whoever he may be.
00:05:14That's a bit bitchy.
00:05:19Like, I know what he was trying to do, but I don't think he did it correctly.
00:05:24You can't say, the host, Trevor Noah, whoever he may be.
00:05:32Because that is exactly who I may be.
00:05:37I understand he was trying to dismiss me, but you said my full name and my job title on the
00:05:43night.
00:05:43You can't be dismissive and be vague and specific at the same time.
00:05:48That's not how that works.
00:05:52Whoever he may be.
00:05:54I be nobody else.
00:05:57There is no may in this equation.
00:05:59That is exactly who I be.
00:06:01Trevor Noah, the host, social security number 457-6728-135.
00:06:05Whoever he may be.
00:06:07No, that is me.
00:06:09It's weird.
00:06:10Like, you don't use that phrase when you know the person.
00:06:12Whoever he may be.
00:06:13You use that phrase when a stranger has ridden through your town and deflowered your daughter.
00:06:18That's when you use the phrase.
00:06:19I'm gonna kill that man, whoever he may be.
00:06:25It's also funny to switch to feudal English in the middle of a message.
00:06:30It's like, whoever he may be.
00:06:34Fee-fi-fo-fum.
00:06:37I smell the blood of a South African.
00:06:43It's random.
00:06:45So he says, yeah, the host, Trevor Noah, whoever he may be, is almost as bad as Jimmy Kimmel.
00:06:55Yo, poor Jimmy. I like Jimmy Kimmel.
00:06:57Right? And now, because of me, he's catching strays.
00:07:01Like...
00:07:01He was at home, minding his own business.
00:07:04Doesn't even work on Sundays.
00:07:07All of a sudden, his phone is like...
00:07:10This is almost as bad as Jimmy Kimmel at the Low Ratings Academy Awards.
00:07:15Then he goes on.
00:07:17Noah said...
00:07:18Incorrectly!
00:07:20About me.
00:07:21That Donald Trump and Bill Clinton spent time on Epstein Island.
00:07:26Wrong!
00:07:28Now, just so we're on the same page.
00:07:31I did not say Donald Trump and Bill Clinton spent time on Epstein Island.
00:07:35I did not say that.
00:07:36I made a joke at the Grammys.
00:07:38One of many random jokes that I made.
00:07:41This one came after Billie Eilish had just won Song of the Year.
00:07:45Right? And I said, congratulations, Billie Eilish, Song of the Year.
00:07:49That is an award that every artist wants, almost as much as Donald Trump wants Greenland.
00:07:57Because, now that Jeffrey Epstein is gone, he needs a new island where he can go hang out with Bill
00:08:02Clinton.
00:08:04Okay? That's what I said. That's what I said.
00:08:08I did not say he was on the island.
00:08:11I said that he would like his own island.
00:08:13Clearly a joke as well, because he wouldn't go with Bill Clinton.
00:08:17Right? And Greenland is a terrible substitute for Epstein Island.
00:08:20Completely different climate, completely different vibe.
00:08:22Alright?
00:08:24And Bill Clinton spent time on Epstein Island.
00:08:27WRONG!
00:08:29I can't speak for Bill.
00:08:35I love how in the midst of him, like, calling me the ultimate liar, he's like,
00:08:38THIS GUY'S A LIAR!
00:08:39Except about the Bill part. We gotta check that out. I mean...
00:08:42I mean, you know how this guy is.
00:08:45But I have never been to Epstein Island, nor anywhere close.
00:08:50That's unnecessary. The proximity to Epstein Island is not what people are litigating.
00:08:55Right? It's your proximity to the man who owned Epstein Island.
00:08:58It's not the land that's an issue.
00:09:00You know? It's not like, where were you in the Caribbean? Epstein Island?
00:09:03No, Jamaica. Busted!
00:09:05No.
00:09:07Nor anywhere close.
00:09:08And until tonight's false and defamatory statement, have never been accused of being there.
00:09:15Really?
00:09:16I was the first?
00:09:18Before me, no one had ever mentioned Donald Trump and Jeffrey Epstein.
00:09:22I was the first. I'm the reason his name is mentioned 5,000 times in those files.
00:09:28I set those dominoes into place.
00:09:32And I tip them over.
00:09:36Yeah, not even by the fake news media.
00:09:39Noah, a total loser.
00:09:41Better get his fat straight.
00:09:43And get them straight fast.
00:09:44It looks like I'll be sending my lawyers to sue this poor, pathetic, talentless dope of an MC.
00:09:51And suing him for plenty.
00:09:53He put a dollar sign. I don't know what sound that is.
00:09:55Ask little George Slopadopoulos and others how that all worked out.
00:10:00Also, ask CBS.
00:10:02Get ready, Noah.
00:10:04I'm going to have some fun with you.
00:10:09President DJT.
00:10:13That last line is something.
00:10:17That is, uh...
00:10:18Get ready, Noah.
00:10:21I'm going to have some fun with you.
00:10:29You know, if you're not trying to sound like a sexual deviant...
00:10:39This is not the line I would recommend.
00:10:43I'm going to have some fun with you.
00:10:46It's what someone says right after they've strapped on the head dildo.
00:11:00So, yeah. That was my Monday.
00:11:04And I'll be honest. I wasn't too worried.
00:11:07You know, Donald Trump watches TV regularly, gets angry about what he sees, posts about it.
00:11:12And often times he moves on.
00:11:15I thought something else would come along, right?
00:11:17Because in many ways he's like a squirrel that watches TV.
00:11:20Yeah, he'll be fully...
00:11:25Yeah, same size hands.
00:11:29So, I was like, it'll move. It'll change.
00:11:33And it did. It did.
00:11:34The next day, the big topic in the White House was the government shutdown.
00:11:39It was a looming government shutdown.
00:11:41Because you know America's government is always on the edge of shutting down.
00:11:45I mean, at this point, I think you guys should switch to a family plan, right?
00:11:48Well, month-to-month thing is not working out.
00:11:51But they were interviewing the president about this.
00:11:54This is a serious topic.
00:11:56And in the middle of a conversation about the government shutdown,
00:12:00some journalist from the back of the room shouts out,
00:12:04Mr. President, are you gonna sue Trevor Noah for what he said at the Grammys?
00:12:11Oh, my dick!
00:12:15I was gone!
00:12:18Yeah, I always wondered what happened to that kid who was like,
00:12:20Oh, teacher, you forgot to give us the homework!
00:12:26Then Trump went back in.
00:12:28Oh, yeah, Trevor Noah said I was on Epstein.
00:12:30Gonna sue him. Total lightweight. Loser.
00:12:32Yeah.
00:12:33Yeah.
00:12:33And so now, I might be getting sued by the President of the United States.
00:12:39Yeah.
00:12:43I don't know. I don't know if it's a woo. I don't know if it's a ooh. I don't...
00:12:47No, I'll be honest with you.
00:12:48I don't know how to feel.
00:12:51Because I don't know how this will play out.
00:12:55If it was a normal time, I'd be pretty confident.
00:12:58Donald Trump would sue me.
00:13:00A judge would throw it out.
00:13:02For a multitude of reasons.
00:13:03Well, you know, First Amendment protections, free expression, jokes, satire.
00:13:07All of these things are covered in a regular time.
00:13:11And it would be Donald Trump suing me. Whatever.
00:13:13But now it's not Donald Trump.
00:13:14Now I'm being sued by the President of the United States.
00:13:19Donald Trump.
00:13:19And I don't know what that means.
00:13:22Do I appeal? Do I appeal?
00:13:24We get to the Supreme Court.
00:13:26I walk in, he's waiting there for me.
00:13:29He's like, say hello to my little friends.
00:13:38I don't know.
00:13:41Nobody knows.
00:13:43Yeah, with him, there is no knowing.
00:13:47You know?
00:13:49Just ask Nicolas Maduro.
00:13:53Former President of Venezuela.
00:13:55And current inmate of New York City.
00:14:00Yeah.
00:14:01He was President of Venezuela.
00:14:04And then all of a sudden, he wasn't.
00:14:06The story is even crazier.
00:14:09What happened was, and you can go check this yourself.
00:14:11What happened was, Nicolas Maduro was on TV.
00:14:14Giving an interview.
00:14:16And then he joked about how people are threatening him alluding to Donald Trump.
00:14:20And he was like, man, I'll be fine.
00:14:22We'll be good.
00:14:22And then he played a song.
00:14:23No war, just peace.
00:14:25And then, he started mocking Trump.
00:14:27By doing Donald Trump's dance move.
00:14:31Like, the move.
00:14:33Singular.
00:14:34Right?
00:14:34Yeah, he did the move.
00:14:35So he came on and then he did the...
00:14:39You know the move.
00:14:40The double jerk off.
00:14:55And Trump saw that and he was like, go get that man.
00:14:59Go get that man.
00:15:03Military went.
00:15:04Got Maduro.
00:15:04Brought him in.
00:15:05Put him in a jail.
00:15:06Not just any prison, by the way.
00:15:07They put him in a prison in Brooklyn.
00:15:09The same prison where they are housing Diddy.
00:15:14Imagine that.
00:15:16I thought I had problems.
00:15:19Nicolas Maduro.
00:15:20That, I mean, he's having, whew.
00:15:23Imagine the irony of his situation.
00:15:26He was witnessing America.
00:15:28Rolling out the most brutal deportation campaign ever.
00:15:35And in the midst of that, you're the one immigrant they import.
00:15:47Maduro's probably the only immigrant who supports us.
00:15:50Yeah, he used his one phone call for them.
00:15:52He's like, hello, ICE.
00:15:53Come get me, man.
00:15:54Come get me.
00:15:55Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:15:56No, no.
00:15:56Come on.
00:15:57I'll fly myself.
00:15:57Let's work together.
00:15:58Come on.
00:15:58We can do this, guys.
00:15:59We can do this.
00:16:04That's why I say, you don't know how it's gonna go.
00:16:06Nobody knows anymore.
00:16:08What a crazy twist of fate.
00:16:10Can you imagine?
00:16:10For decades, you ruled your empire with an iron fist.
00:16:16You terrorized people around you.
00:16:19You were violent, never held accountable.
00:16:22And now, they've taken away all your oil, and you're in the same prison as Nicolas Maduro.
00:16:39Ain't that a bitch?
00:16:50Ain't that a bitch?
00:16:52Is that is the situation, is that now would be the perfect time for an alien invasion.
00:17:03There's no good time.
00:17:05I think we can all agree on that.
00:17:07But if I had to pick a time, I would say this is the best time
00:17:11Yeah
00:17:14Because if aliens invade, it's not going to be good for us
00:17:18We know, we don't stand a chance
00:17:19If they can travel through space-time, our weapons mean nothing
00:17:23We're probably just going to annoy them with our guns
00:17:24Pew, pew, pew, pew
00:17:27They're going to get here, and we've seen how it turns out
00:17:30They fly in, they're going to blow everything up
00:17:33We've watched Independence Day, we know how this happens
00:17:36Yeah, and even if Will Smith helps, he can only slap like one at a time
00:17:39You know
00:17:45So what do we do?
00:17:48I think about it all the time
00:17:50Genuinely, I think about alien invasions all the time
00:17:53It is, it is my Roman Empire
00:17:57Like what are we going to do, what are we going to do
00:17:59I never used to think about this
00:18:01When I lived in South Africa, there was no way in my mind
00:18:04But in America, it's a real thing
00:18:06Yeah, because when aliens come
00:18:08This is where they're going to come
00:18:12Yeah, they're going to fly here
00:18:13They come straight to Washington, D.C.
00:18:15Blow up the White House
00:18:18And they go to other countries
00:18:20You know, they go to London, blow up Big Ben
00:18:23You know what time it is
00:18:27And they fly to other landmarks, blow everything up
00:18:30I know, it's an issue
00:18:31America first
00:18:32I get it
00:18:33Yeah
00:18:36When I was in South Africa, this is something I never thought about
00:18:38Ever
00:18:40Because I knew when aliens invade, they're going to go
00:18:42They're going to blow up the world
00:18:44But the one place they don't go
00:18:45Is Africa
00:18:48Yeah, you've seen the movies
00:18:51They never invade Africa
00:18:53I had to watch those movies all the time
00:18:55And I'd wait
00:18:55In the movie, the president would come and be like
00:18:57Citizens of Earth
00:18:59Aliens are invading our planet
00:19:00Then you'd see the aliens invade
00:19:01And then you'd be like
00:19:03Wait, I guess Africa's not on the planet?
00:19:05What is happening?
00:19:08They never invaded
00:19:09Can you think of a single movie where they invaded Africa?
00:19:11District 9
00:19:12No
00:19:13What?
00:19:13District 9
00:19:14District 9
00:19:17No
00:19:20Screw you for trying to mess up my special
00:19:24Sitting up there in the balcony
00:19:25Like a king
00:19:25District 9, I tell you
00:19:28Off with his head
00:19:32No
00:19:33District 9
00:19:34It's a good attempt
00:19:34But no
00:19:36If you remember the plot of District 9
00:19:38The aliens didn't invade Africa
00:19:41The aliens crash-landed in Africa
00:19:46And then they spent the rest of the movie trying to escape
00:19:50Because we don't mess around
00:20:03Hollywood is so messed up
00:20:05It's just like
00:20:06What's the worst thing that could happen to aliens?
00:20:08What if they were trapped in Africa?
00:20:15Aliens never invade
00:20:16They don't invade Africa
00:20:17They just never did
00:20:20I used to think it was because they felt bad for us
00:20:23Yeah, because as a kid
00:20:24I used to love watching those movies
00:20:26I still love watching them now
00:20:27But as a kid
00:20:29I
00:20:30Loved those movies
00:20:31Anything with aliens
00:20:32I was there
00:20:34And my mom
00:20:35She would give me like
00:20:36She'd make me like a big bowl of popcorn at home
00:20:38And we would sit on the couch together
00:20:40And she'd watch all of those movies with me
00:20:42Not
00:20:43She hated them
00:20:43But
00:20:44It said parental guidance
00:20:46And she took that very seriously
00:20:49Like one day she was walking past
00:20:50And then it was like
00:20:51We recommend parental guidance for this film
00:20:53And she was like
00:20:54Ah, I gotta watch this
00:20:54And then she did
00:20:55Every movie going forward
00:20:57I would have to run and call her sometimes
00:20:59A show would just start randomly on TV
00:21:01And they'd be like
00:21:01And I'd be like
00:21:02Mom!
00:21:03Mom!
00:21:04And then she'd come in
00:21:05And I'd be like
00:21:06What?
00:21:06Everyone needs you to guide me!
00:21:10Yeah, but then like five minutes in
00:21:11I feel like I was guiding my parental
00:21:13Because she would sit there
00:21:14And then the whole movie
00:21:15She'd be like
00:21:15What's happening Trevor?
00:21:16Who are they?
00:21:17Who are these people?
00:21:17Why are they doing this?
00:21:18What's going on here?
00:21:19I'd be like
00:21:20Mom, I'm with you
00:21:20I'm with you
00:21:21I started this movie with you
00:21:25So she'd make me like
00:21:26A big bowl of popcorn
00:21:27And we'd sit there
00:21:29And then the movie would start
00:21:30And the alien invasion
00:21:31They'd be like
00:21:32Aliens are invading Earth
00:21:34And the aliens would fly and fly
00:21:35And you'd see them blowing everything up
00:21:36And I'd be there with my popcorn
00:21:37Like first world problems
00:21:47I genuinely thought
00:21:48I was a little kid
00:21:50If you asked me
00:21:51Like how come you never see them in Africa
00:21:52I was like
00:21:52Oh, because they feel bad
00:21:54I thought the aliens felt bad
00:21:55For Africa
00:21:57You know
00:21:57They'd be the ship
00:21:58That would fly over each continent
00:22:00To blow it up
00:22:02And then there'd be one
00:22:03Over the African continent
00:22:04Two aliens in the cockpit
00:22:06Like
00:22:07Prepare to launch
00:22:09Photon lasers
00:22:11Get ready on your command
00:22:13Three, two, one
00:22:15Wait, wait, wait
00:22:15Hold on
00:22:16I think we already did this continent
00:22:20I think we've been here
00:22:21Negative
00:22:22We've never been here before
00:22:23Blow it up
00:22:24What am I blowing up?
00:22:25Look at this shit
00:22:25Something already happened
00:22:27What the hell's going on here, dude?
00:22:29What am I supposed to blow up?
00:22:30Who did this?
00:22:30I don't know
00:22:31Checking now
00:22:31Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep
00:22:32It says it was
00:22:33The British
00:22:40Yeah
00:22:43Take that, Great Britain
00:22:45Hashtag never forget
00:22:51Those alien movies
00:22:52Man
00:22:54They made my day
00:22:55But they terrified me
00:22:57Because every time
00:22:58It didn't go well
00:22:59The aliens fly in
00:23:00They conquer the earth
00:23:02We win by luck
00:23:03Because it's a movie
00:23:04But in real life
00:23:05I don't know
00:23:07It's not good
00:23:08We have
00:23:08No chance
00:23:10If aliens invade
00:23:11We have
00:23:12No hope
00:23:14Or at least
00:23:15We had
00:23:16No hope
00:23:18Now there is
00:23:21And it goes by the name
00:23:23Donald J. Trump
00:23:27Whoever he may be
00:23:36I don't like it
00:23:37But I think
00:23:38It's the only way
00:23:40Yeah
00:23:42As soon as the alien invasion begins
00:23:44We know how it starts
00:23:46It's going to be that giant mothership
00:23:48That flies into our orbits
00:23:50That massive thing
00:23:52That blocks out the sun
00:23:57They have a giant speaker
00:23:58Under the ship
00:23:59That plays
00:24:00The music
00:24:01It creates the ambiance
00:24:02There's one alien on the inside
00:24:04Playing a little organ
00:24:05He's just like
00:24:05They're not ready for this one, B
00:24:08Ha ha
00:24:08Yeah
00:24:12And then they park the ship outside
00:24:14And they send a little scout ship down
00:24:16To give us the bad news
00:24:17The one that lands like
00:24:17And they come out
00:24:19Take me
00:24:19Two-yard leader
00:24:21And they meet the leader
00:24:22Kill the leader
00:24:23And then it's done
00:24:24They normally pick the most
00:24:25Annoying alien for that job
00:24:27You've got to be a specific type of
00:24:28Entitled
00:24:29To just believe you can speak to the leader
00:24:31Like who are you
00:24:31So on the alien ship
00:24:32They'll normally pick the Karen alien
00:24:34They'll be like
00:24:34All right
00:24:36Chatting to each other like
00:24:37Who are we going to send down to this planet
00:24:39Listen Karen
00:24:40She's the best for this
00:24:42Karen you're going down
00:24:43Oh my god
00:24:44Why is it always me
00:24:45I hate this so much
00:24:46You guys are always sending me
00:24:47I can't believe this
00:24:48I want to speak to the manager
00:24:49She's perfect
00:24:52Send that alien down
00:24:54And give us the bad news
00:24:58With Trump we have hope
00:24:59But we have to act quick people
00:25:01Real quick
00:25:03As soon as they tell us
00:25:05Aliens are here
00:25:05NASA tells us
00:25:06They've reached our orbit
00:25:07We act together
00:25:09As a planet
00:25:11And what we need to do
00:25:12Is we make Donald Trump
00:25:13King
00:25:15Of the world
00:25:17See some of you are confused
00:25:18The good news is
00:25:19He won't ask any questions
00:25:21All right
00:25:22We just go to the White House
00:25:23We're like
00:25:23Mr. Trump
00:25:24You are now king of the world
00:25:25And he'd be like
00:25:26I knew it
00:25:26I knew it
00:25:27Yeah
00:25:27And then we give him
00:25:27A little burger king crown
00:25:29And then we go and wait
00:25:30For the aliens outside
00:25:32Aliens land
00:25:32They come out
00:25:33That one is just like
00:25:34Take me to your leader
00:25:36And we're like
00:25:37Yes
00:25:37Welcome to earth
00:25:38Come on
00:25:38Come meet the leader
00:25:39Come meet the leader
00:25:40Come meet the leader
00:25:41Take me now
00:25:41Yeah yeah
00:25:42Of course
00:25:42We're going to take you there
00:25:43How you doing by the way
00:25:44You looking good
00:25:44You're on a Zempick
00:25:45What's going on there
00:25:45You're looking great
00:25:46Come on
00:25:47Come meet the leader
00:25:47We get to the White House
00:25:48And we're like
00:25:49King Trump
00:25:52This is the alien
00:25:53Alien
00:25:53This is King Trump
00:25:58Are you the ruler
00:26:00Of this planet
00:26:01And be like
00:26:02That's right
00:26:04I'm the ruler
00:26:06Of this planet
00:26:08Planet earth
00:26:09Or as I call her
00:26:10Big blue
00:26:12Beautiful beautiful blue
00:26:14Floating up in space
00:26:15She's up there
00:26:17Spinning around
00:26:18Spinning around
00:26:19Spinning so fast
00:26:22You know they say
00:26:22We're spinning
00:26:23I never felt it
00:26:24I never felt it
00:26:25But they say
00:26:25We're spinning
00:26:27We're spinning around
00:26:28Folks
00:26:28Spinning so fast
00:26:31We're up there in space
00:26:32We got a beautiful axis
00:26:34Right through the middle
00:26:35Of the planet
00:26:36A big beautiful long axis
00:26:38They don't make axis
00:26:39Like that anymore
00:26:40They really don't
00:26:42They really don't
00:26:42And we got that axis
00:26:43And it's tilted
00:26:45It's tilted
00:26:45You know
00:26:45It's tilted
00:26:46If I was in charge
00:26:47I would have straightened
00:26:48It right up
00:26:50Right out
00:26:51But that's okay
00:26:52That's okay
00:26:53Thanks Obama
00:26:56And it's up there
00:26:57Floating up in space
00:26:58A beautiful planet
00:26:59Beautiful blue
00:27:00We got a tiny moon
00:27:01Did you see the moon?
00:27:02Beautiful moon
00:27:03A beautiful moon
00:27:05Looks like a nipple
00:27:05On a boob
00:27:06That's what it looks like
00:27:07Like one boob
00:27:08Floating in space
00:27:09Should be two
00:27:10I always say
00:27:10Two boobs
00:27:11Better than one
00:27:12Better than one
00:27:13But one better than none
00:27:15Can I say boobs?
00:27:16I said it folks
00:27:16I said boobs
00:27:17And I'm the ruler
00:27:18Of this planet
00:27:19What do you want?
00:27:20What do you need?
00:27:21What can I do for you?
00:27:23They'd be like
00:27:24Sorry
00:27:24We didn't know
00:27:26It was already invaded
00:27:27Poopoo
00:27:28Peep peep
00:27:29Peep doop
00:27:30Peep peep
00:27:39And that's how we survive
00:27:47Be honest
00:27:48We wouldn't be shocked
00:27:49If we found out
00:27:49He was an alien
00:27:51I actually think
00:27:52We'd be relieved
00:27:54People are like
00:27:54Oh my god
00:27:55That explains it
00:27:58Yeah
00:27:58If two aliens
00:27:59That looked exactly like him
00:28:00Like a mom and dad
00:28:01Version of him
00:28:02Came down
00:28:02And they land on the planet
00:28:04They're like
00:28:04Alright help us
00:28:05We left our son here
00:28:06Many decades ago
00:28:08Where's that baby?
00:28:09Where's that baby?
00:28:10We'll be like
00:28:10Come on
00:28:11Come on
00:28:12Can't get your baby
00:28:17Cause he is man
00:28:18He's out of this world
00:28:24And now
00:28:26We are living
00:28:27Through history
00:28:30Do you ever think about that?
00:28:32Like we
00:28:34Are all
00:28:35Living
00:28:36Through
00:28:38History
00:28:39And not like
00:28:40History
00:28:41Like
00:28:41Just time
00:28:42That passed
00:28:42You know
00:28:43Cause there's that
00:28:44Boring history
00:28:44Like
00:28:44None of the people
00:28:45Settled here
00:28:46Yeah whatever
00:28:48I'm talking about
00:28:48Like history
00:28:49History
00:28:49Where some shit happened
00:28:50You know when you
00:28:51Read the books
00:28:51And you're like
00:28:51Yo what was it like
00:28:52Back then
00:28:53Yeah we're in the
00:28:53Back then
00:28:56That's all of us
00:28:57That's all of us
00:28:57My history is terrible
00:28:58Now I've realized
00:29:00Because they record
00:29:01Everything that is said
00:29:02At the White House
00:29:03It is kept for posterity
00:29:05Alright
00:29:06So that means
00:29:06In like 300 years
00:29:07There'll be scholars
00:29:10Studying old presidents
00:29:11And the White House
00:29:12And they'll be like
00:29:13What was it like
00:29:13300 years ago
00:29:14And you're like
00:29:15I don't know
00:29:16But the Grammy's host
00:29:17Was terrible
00:29:18Gosh
00:29:19A total loser
00:29:21Apparently
00:29:27And a bunny
00:29:28Was performing
00:29:29At the Super Bowl
00:29:30Also terrible
00:29:31Absolutely terrible
00:29:33What a time
00:29:40You know
00:29:41The weird thing
00:29:41About living
00:29:42Through history
00:29:42Is
00:29:44It's so much
00:29:46Less predictable
00:29:46When you
00:29:47Are the one
00:29:48Doing it
00:29:49Like
00:29:50When you read
00:29:51History
00:29:51Or when we're
00:29:51Taught history
00:29:52It is often
00:29:53Presented as if
00:29:54It was inevitable
00:29:57You read the stories
00:29:58You assume
00:29:59That is how
00:29:59They would have
00:30:00Always ended
00:30:00Because that's
00:30:01How they ended
00:30:02Like if I asked
00:30:03Most people
00:30:03Do you think
00:30:04The Nazis
00:30:04Will always lose
00:30:05The war
00:30:06They'd be like
00:30:06Yeah of course
00:30:06The Nazis
00:30:07Would always lose
00:30:07The war
00:30:08And yet
00:30:08At the time
00:30:08The people
00:30:09Who were fighting
00:30:10The war
00:30:10Thought that the Nazis
00:30:12Were going to win
00:30:12There was a moment
00:30:13When it seemed
00:30:14Like it was in their favor
00:30:17When you're in history
00:30:18It's a completely
00:30:19Different gambit
00:30:23Like whenever
00:30:23Whenever I'm in
00:30:24Washington DC
00:30:26I like to go
00:30:27And visit
00:30:27The National Museum
00:30:28Of African American
00:30:29History and Culture
00:30:33And if you've never been
00:30:35Let me tell you
00:30:36It is one of the most
00:30:37Profound experiences
00:30:39You will ever have
00:30:40In your life
00:30:41It is a museum
00:30:43Unlike any other
00:30:44I've ever been to
00:30:44For a few reasons
00:30:46You know
00:30:47One is
00:30:48It is as complete
00:30:50A telling
00:30:51As is possible
00:30:51Of black history
00:30:54In America
00:30:55Which is history
00:30:56But it's a history
00:30:57That's often not told
00:30:58Right
00:30:58And you go to this building
00:30:59And unlike other museums
00:31:01You can't just choose
00:31:02Your own adventure
00:31:02You know
00:31:03Normally you walk
00:31:03In a museum
00:31:04And then it's like
00:31:04What do you want to do
00:31:05Dinosaurs or space
00:31:06You pick
00:31:07There they curate
00:31:08Your moving
00:31:09Through time
00:31:10And so when you get
00:31:11To the museum
00:31:11You start at the very
00:31:13Beginning of black people
00:31:14In America
00:31:14And then it moves
00:31:15All the way through
00:31:16To the present day
00:31:17Right
00:31:18And so it starts
00:31:19Underground
00:31:20Literally
00:31:20You go underground
00:31:21And then it starts
00:31:21With slavery
00:31:22Spoiler alert
00:31:24And then they move
00:31:25You move
00:31:25You through time
00:31:26And then you get to the end
00:31:27And then there's Oprah
00:31:35That museum truly
00:31:37Like it'll make you ask
00:31:39Every question of yourself
00:31:40I was there
00:31:41On my most recent trip
00:31:42And I was walking through
00:31:45The beginning level
00:31:47And it's underground
00:31:49And it's chattel slavery
00:31:51The transatlantic slave trade
00:31:53And then the underground railroad
00:31:55And so it's an emotional
00:31:57Riot as well
00:31:57You know it's painful
00:31:59It's oppression
00:32:00And then there's
00:32:01There's this moment
00:32:02Where you can see
00:32:03People rising up
00:32:04And fighting for what
00:32:05They believe in
00:32:06Overcoming
00:32:08And because it's so engaging
00:32:09You see people
00:32:11Experiencing it
00:32:12In a different way
00:32:13There were these two
00:32:14Kids next to me
00:32:15Maybe 14 years old
00:32:17And they were having
00:32:18A conversation
00:32:19That I was eavesdropping on
00:32:20And the one turns
00:32:21To the other one
00:32:21And he's like
00:32:21Yo man
00:32:23He's like
00:32:23What would you have done
00:32:24If you was around
00:32:24Back there man
00:32:25He's like
00:32:25Would you have been a slave
00:32:26He's like
00:32:26Yeah well yo what
00:32:27He's like
00:32:28Nah they would have
00:32:28Had the wrong one man
00:32:29They would have had
00:32:29The wrong one
00:32:31Yo I would have
00:32:32Cooked theirs
00:32:33Man you try to make me
00:32:33A slave
00:32:33I would have cooked theirs
00:32:34He's like
00:32:34Nah you can't be
00:32:35You can't be
00:32:35He's like
00:32:36Nah for real
00:32:36I would have cooked theirs
00:32:37I would have cooked theirs
00:32:38And they laughing
00:32:38And they engaging
00:32:39And I was like
00:32:40Either this is the delusion
00:32:41Of youth
00:32:41Which is necessary
00:32:42For a revolution
00:32:44Or
00:32:44That's who they would be
00:32:45Either way
00:32:45It didn't matter
00:32:47What I loved
00:32:47Is that they were
00:32:48Asking the question
00:32:51Who will you be
00:32:53When history calls
00:32:57Because of them
00:32:57I found myself
00:32:58Asking the question
00:32:59And
00:33:02Honestly
00:33:03I think I need to
00:33:04Work on my self esteem
00:33:05Because
00:33:07I came up with
00:33:07Nothing as heroic
00:33:10Like if you asked me
00:33:11Trevor what would you
00:33:12Do during slavery
00:33:13I'd be like
00:33:14I would have
00:33:14Worked really hard
00:33:18And
00:33:18Seen what happened
00:33:20I don't think
00:33:21I would have been a hero
00:33:22I don't have it
00:33:23I'm impressed by people
00:33:24Who say those
00:33:25If I was around
00:33:25If I was around back then
00:33:26Oh if I was in the store
00:33:27When they robbed it
00:33:28I would have
00:33:28I don't have that
00:33:30In me
00:33:30I don't
00:33:31Like I would be in the field
00:33:32And I'd just be working hard
00:33:33And I'd be minding
00:33:34My own business
00:33:35You know
00:33:35And the guy on the horse
00:33:36Would come
00:33:36He'd be like
00:33:37You better work hard boy
00:33:38You better pick that guy
00:33:38There's a goddamn cotton
00:33:39I'd be like
00:33:39Yes master
00:33:40I was a picking
00:33:40There's a cotton master
00:33:41I was a picking away master
00:33:43Oh but as soon as he rides away
00:33:44Oh I'd light his ass up
00:33:45Oh I would
00:33:46I would roast him to bits
00:33:48I'd be like
00:33:48That dumbass
00:33:51Is he back
00:33:52No
00:33:56But I don't think
00:33:57I would have been a hero
00:34:00Yeah like a real hero
00:34:01Would have showed up
00:34:02Like Harriet Tubman
00:34:02Would show up
00:34:03She'd be like
00:34:04Psst
00:34:05Yo Trev
00:34:06I'd be like
00:34:07Oh
00:34:08Hi Harriet
00:34:09How you doing
00:34:11I'm doing shit
00:34:14Oh no
00:34:15What happened
00:34:16Slavery happened
00:34:17What you mean
00:34:17What happened boy
00:34:18You stupid or something
00:34:20Oh yeah of course
00:34:21I shouldn't have
00:34:21Anyway
00:34:21What's going on Harriet
00:34:23I just came to let you know
00:34:25That we're leaving
00:34:26Tonight
00:34:30Who's we
00:34:33All of us
00:34:34Trevor
00:34:34We're getting out of here
00:34:36We're going baby
00:34:38Oh yeah Harriet
00:34:39The guy on the horse
00:34:40Says we shouldn't leave
00:34:43He really doesn't like it
00:34:44When we leave
00:34:44I think he has like
00:34:46Separation anxiety
00:34:47Or something
00:34:48He should see someone
00:34:49About that
00:34:49But he said
00:34:50I don't give a shit
00:34:51What he said
00:34:52We're getting out of here
00:34:54What are you saying
00:34:54You're going to stay
00:34:55Yeah I think I'll stay
00:34:57And just you know
00:34:58See how it goes
00:34:59See how it goes
00:35:00What's wrong with you
00:35:01You're not coming
00:35:02No I'm not going to
00:35:03I can't believe you
00:35:05You light skins
00:35:06Is all the same
00:35:09What
00:35:09Yeah
00:35:11You scared ain't you
00:35:12You a scared little bitch
00:35:16I am a bitch Harriet
00:35:17I cannot lie
00:35:18I'm a scared little bitch
00:35:20Look at you
00:35:21Scared little bitch
00:35:22You almost as bad
00:35:24As Jimmy Kimmel
00:35:43Sorry sometimes I do
00:35:44Jokes just for me
00:35:45I'm sorry
00:35:48Oh man
00:35:53Everyone was asking
00:35:54Themselves the question
00:35:55Everyone
00:35:56One of the most
00:35:58Unique encounters
00:35:59I experienced
00:35:59Happened
00:36:00When
00:36:01There was a group
00:36:02Of white people
00:36:03Who were standing
00:36:03At the exhibit
00:36:04And
00:36:07They were very
00:36:08Very liberal
00:36:09White people
00:36:09Like very
00:36:11Liberal
00:36:13Like very
00:36:15Very
00:36:17Liberal
00:36:17White people
00:36:19Like they were
00:36:19Feeling it more
00:36:20Than the black people
00:36:21There
00:36:21They were
00:36:25Yeah to show how much
00:36:26They were feeling it
00:36:27There was a moment
00:36:27Where
00:36:28Some of the black people
00:36:29Who were walking around
00:36:31The exhibit
00:36:32Right
00:36:32Because there's black people
00:36:33Walking around the exhibit
00:36:34And there's white people
00:36:34There because everyone
00:36:35Can go
00:36:35Right
00:36:36And
00:36:37And so
00:36:40The black people
00:36:41Who were there
00:36:42Were living what I would
00:36:43Consider the full black experience
00:36:44Which is being a human being
00:36:45So some people were crying
00:36:47And then a moment later
00:36:48They were talking to their friends
00:36:49Sharing stories
00:36:50Recounting
00:36:50Laughing
00:36:51Etc
00:36:52And one person laughed
00:36:53Was like
00:36:54Talking to their friends
00:36:54Like
00:36:54Ha ha ha ha
00:36:55Yeah
00:36:55And then
00:36:57The woman
00:36:58There was a white woman here
00:36:58Who was like
00:36:59The leader of the crew
00:36:59She turned
00:37:00At that laugh
00:37:01Like
00:37:01Ha ha
00:37:01And she was like
00:37:04Shhh
00:37:15That's how liberal
00:37:16They were
00:37:19And just when I thought
00:37:20She couldn't top that
00:37:21She was looking at a photograph
00:37:23One of the first pictures
00:37:25That's ever really been taken
00:37:26And it was a picture
00:37:27Of a white man
00:37:29On a plantation
00:37:30Standing there
00:37:31Smiling
00:37:32Standing in a field
00:37:33Just like smiling
00:37:34In the picture
00:37:36And this woman is standing
00:37:37Looking at the picture
00:37:38And she's like
00:37:39I
00:37:43If I was there
00:37:46When that was happening
00:37:48I swear to God
00:37:49If I was there
00:37:50When that was happening
00:37:55I would have never smiled
00:38:04You know what a sentence has
00:38:06The exact conclusion
00:38:07You did not predict
00:38:08Like this was
00:38:09I thought she was going to
00:38:10If I was there
00:38:11I would have fought
00:38:12I would have freed
00:38:13I would have
00:38:14No, no, no
00:38:14She's like
00:38:15I would have had slaves
00:38:16But I wouldn't have enjoyed it
00:38:19I'm so sorry
00:38:21This is happening to you
00:38:22I'm so sorry
00:38:23I had dust behind the couch
00:38:24As well
00:38:25I'm so sorry
00:38:26I can't
00:38:31It was really
00:38:32Really something
00:38:33You know
00:38:33You move to that level
00:38:34There for more than an hour
00:38:37At the end of it
00:38:38I was so taken
00:38:39By the question
00:38:40That I was asking myself
00:38:41Who will you be
00:38:42When history calls
00:38:44That I
00:38:44I texted one of my best friends
00:38:46David Meyer
00:38:47He's actually the first American
00:38:49I ever became friends with
00:38:50He came to South Africa
00:38:51By chance
00:38:5220 years ago
00:38:53Was on like a school project
00:38:55We met by chance
00:38:56Became friends by chance
00:38:57And then he convinced me
00:38:58To come to America
00:38:59And do comedy
00:38:59Which I had never planned to do
00:39:00The rest is history
00:39:01So we've been friends
00:39:02Since that day
00:39:03Right
00:39:04And yeah
00:39:05It's a beautiful story
00:39:06And also
00:39:07Our lives are so different
00:39:09He's this
00:39:09Six foot five
00:39:10Lanky white boy
00:39:12From North Carolina
00:39:12Alright
00:39:13Sweetest guy ever
00:39:15Super sincere
00:39:16And because of that
00:39:16I love playing pranks on him
00:39:18And
00:39:20As we left that exhibit
00:39:21I texted him
00:39:22And I was like
00:39:23Yo Dave
00:39:24I need to ask you a favor
00:39:26And he responded
00:39:27He's like
00:39:27Yo dude
00:39:28What's up
00:39:28And I said
00:39:29If slavery comes back
00:39:33Do you promise to have me
00:39:34As one of your slaves
00:39:36And treat me really well
00:39:39And then he responded
00:39:41He was like
00:39:41Dude
00:39:41What
00:39:45And I said
00:39:46Do you promise to have me
00:39:48As your slave
00:39:48And treat me very well
00:39:50And he was like
00:39:51What are you talking about
00:39:52And I said
00:39:53Yes or no
00:39:55And then
00:39:56I just saw the little dots
00:39:57And it was like
00:39:58Typing
00:39:59Typing
00:40:02Typing
00:40:04Typing
00:40:06Typing
00:40:06Typing
00:40:08Typing
00:40:19Typing
00:40:24I said
00:40:25That
00:40:25Like
00:40:26Man
00:40:29He said
00:40:29I was like
00:40:29That's what they said
00:40:29About Ghostbusters
00:40:30Just answer the question
00:40:32Will you
00:40:33Or will you
00:40:33Not have me
00:40:34As one of you
00:40:34He's like
00:40:34No dude
00:40:35No
00:40:35No
00:40:36No
00:40:36I would never
00:40:37Have you
00:40:37As one of my slaves
00:40:38I would never
00:40:39Dude
00:40:39I would never
00:40:40Own
00:40:41Slaves
00:40:41Like enslaved people actually, I would never have enslaved people
00:40:45I don't think that's why I was like, yo, save your sanctimonies bullshit right now, Dave
00:40:48I just want to know if you would have me as one of your slaves or not and treat me
00:40:50well
00:40:51He's like, no, I would never do that
00:40:52I was like, oh, okay, I see
00:40:54So you're just going to let me be somebody else's slave
00:40:56That's what you're saying, huh?
00:40:57Slavery comes back and now they catch me
00:41:00And now they're busy whipping me
00:41:01Now I'm django out in these streets, huh?
00:41:03I'm getting whipped because my best friend
00:41:05Wouldn't use his white privilege to help me
00:41:07By making me one of his slaves
00:41:09So that we could hang out, huh?
00:41:10I'm in a field
00:41:11I could be with you in the house playing PlayStation, Dave, huh?
00:41:14Yeah, we could be back in Call of Duty
00:41:16In Verdansk, like the good old days
00:41:17But no, you want to be so woke
00:41:19That I get whipped by another white person
00:41:21Who wants to keep slaves
00:41:21He's like, no, dude, dude
00:41:23I was like, you want me to be a slave?
00:41:24He's like, no, dude
00:41:24I was like, you want me to be whipped, don't you?
00:41:25He's like, no, dude, okay, okay, okay
00:41:27He's like, okay, all right, fine, dude
00:41:28If slavery came back, then yeah
00:41:30I'd have you as one of my slaves
00:41:31And I'd treat you well
00:41:32I was like, aha
00:41:33So you would have slaves
00:41:39I was like, all right
00:41:40I got to go
00:41:40And he's like, no
00:41:45He still hasn't forgiven me
00:41:54Who will you be when history calls?
00:41:58It's so much easier when it's hypothetical
00:42:04As you move from one exhibit to the next
00:42:08You know, move through Reconstruction
00:42:11Jim Crow
00:42:12You get to the Civil Rights Movement
00:42:17And it's impressive on its own
00:42:19But because it has now been 60 years
00:42:22Since the I Have a Dream speech
00:42:24They've expanded the part of the exhibit
00:42:27That looks at Dr. Martin Luther King's life
00:42:32And you get to see his writings
00:42:35His thoughts
00:42:37His journals
00:42:38His letters to other people
00:42:40His letters to the public
00:42:41His correspondences with his friends
00:42:43Interviews
00:42:44You name it
00:42:45Like you see his life
00:42:46In a detail that I think
00:42:47Very few of us
00:42:49Ever have
00:42:51And
00:42:53I don't want to speak for everyone
00:42:54But I feel like
00:42:55When we're taught about MLK
00:42:58It's a really sanitized
00:43:00Flat version
00:43:01Of his life
00:43:03Do you know what I mean?
00:43:04It seems really simple
00:43:06And inevitable
00:43:07You know, whenever you're taught the story
00:43:09It's just like
00:43:09There was a man named MLK
00:43:11He didn't like what was happening
00:43:13And he marched on the bridge
00:43:14He had a dream
00:43:15And he lived happily ever after
00:43:17Happy MLK Day
00:43:1850% off your mattress
00:43:22But
00:43:24But when you
00:43:24When you see his life
00:43:25It's not like that
00:43:26Because that's like
00:43:27Genuinely
00:43:27When people talk about it
00:43:28You know, there'll be
00:43:29Happy MLK Day
00:43:30And then it's
00:43:31It almost sounds like a Disney movie
00:43:32It has like the same plot
00:43:34As a Disney movie
00:43:34You know, it's just like
00:43:35This summer
00:43:36One man
00:43:37One dream
00:43:39Changed the world
00:43:40I have a dream
00:43:41Timothee Chalamet
00:43:43Is Martin Luther King
00:43:45Only on Disney Plus
00:43:49That's how it feels
00:43:55But when you see
00:43:57His life
00:43:58Laid out
00:43:59I mean the minutia
00:44:01Of his days
00:44:01The things that he
00:44:03And the people around him
00:44:04Were experiencing
00:44:07He was arrested
00:44:08Somewhere around
00:44:09Like 29 times
00:44:11Over the course
00:44:12Of like 4 years
00:44:14Trumped up charges
00:44:15Sometimes he was left
00:44:16In a jail cell
00:44:17By himself
00:44:18Wasn't given food
00:44:19Wasn't given a phone call
00:44:20Nothing
00:44:21Sometimes he was beaten
00:44:22Sometimes they just
00:44:23Like
00:44:23You see this man's life
00:44:25In detail
00:44:26They chased him
00:44:27Out of towns
00:44:29The federal government
00:44:31Came after him
00:44:31J. Edgar Hoover
00:44:32Himself
00:44:33The head of the FBI
00:44:35Designated Martin Luther King
00:44:36As the most dangerous
00:44:37Man in America
00:44:40And then the FBI
00:44:41Ran a concerted campaign
00:44:43To destroy him
00:44:44They try and break up
00:44:45His friendships
00:44:46And his working relationships
00:44:47And the most sinister thing
00:44:48They did was
00:44:49They tapped his phones
00:44:50And they found out
00:44:51That he was having an affair
00:44:53And they phoned his wife
00:44:55Coretta Scott King
00:44:56And they snitched on him
00:44:57Because they thought
00:44:58That that would destroy
00:44:59His marriage
00:45:00And destroy the movement
00:45:02Yeah
00:45:02The FBI tried
00:45:05To dish gossip
00:45:07On Martin Luther King
00:45:08Totally changes
00:45:09How you see the organization
00:45:11Right
00:45:12FBI seems so serious
00:45:13Now you get the real picture
00:45:16They're in that
00:45:16J. Edgar Hoover building
00:45:18In the morning
00:45:19What are you working on
00:45:21Kowalski
00:45:21Drug enforcement
00:45:22Sir
00:45:22What about you?
00:45:24Sir
00:45:24Criminal crimes
00:45:25Specifically financial
00:45:27And you
00:45:27Drama
00:45:34You see everything
00:45:35That happened
00:45:36To MLK
00:45:37Everything
00:45:37Some of it internal
00:45:38Because he writes about it
00:45:39Some of it external
00:45:40Because people are observing
00:45:44One of the sections
00:45:44That really lays out
00:45:45What it was like
00:45:46Is a four year stretch
00:45:48Where Dr. King
00:45:49And other black people
00:45:51Would try
00:45:52To go and get served
00:45:54In restaurants
00:45:56That were segregating
00:45:57Black people
00:45:58And weren't allowing
00:45:58Them to get food
00:46:00They would walk
00:46:01Into the restaurants
00:46:02They would sit down
00:46:02Dressed to the nines
00:46:03And they would get
00:46:04Denied service
00:46:05They would get kicked out
00:46:06They would get cursed at
00:46:07Spats on
00:46:09Oftentimes they were beaten
00:46:11Leave with concussions
00:46:13Bleeding
00:46:13They'd go home
00:46:14They'd wash up
00:46:14They'd come back
00:46:15They'd do it again
00:46:15Go home
00:46:16Wash up
00:46:16Do it again
00:46:17Go home
00:46:17Wash up
00:46:17And do it again
00:46:18And now
00:46:19When we talk about it
00:46:20We go
00:46:20Well they did the right thing
00:46:21Because look how it turned out
00:46:22Yes but when you read
00:46:24His life
00:46:24You go
00:46:24It wasn't inevitable
00:46:27There was no guarantee
00:46:28That it was going to work
00:46:29There was no sign
00:46:30That it was working
00:46:32And yet
00:46:33They persevered
00:46:35And when I was looking
00:46:36Through his life
00:46:37And when I was reading
00:46:37His works
00:46:38And I was looking
00:46:38I was like
00:46:40Was there ever a moment
00:46:41When he regretted
00:46:44Was there ever a moment
00:46:45When he regretted
00:46:46What he had gone through
00:46:47What he was doing
00:46:49Like when he tasted
00:46:50White people's food
00:46:51For the first time
00:47:00No because you realize
00:47:01Until that point
00:47:01It was theoretical
00:47:02Right
00:47:04Black people had never been
00:47:05Served in these establishments
00:47:06They only wished
00:47:07To be served
00:47:07In these establishments
00:47:10But they
00:47:10They had never eaten there
00:47:12Right
00:47:13They would just sit down
00:47:13At the counter
00:47:14And the owner would come
00:47:15And be like
00:47:15God damn it
00:47:16I told you
00:47:16I don't want your kind
00:47:17Around here
00:47:18Get out of here boy
00:47:19And be like
00:47:19Oh my brother
00:47:20I have a dream
00:47:21I have a dream
00:47:23That one day
00:47:23Regardless of the color
00:47:24Of our skin
00:47:25All people will be allowed
00:47:27To sit here
00:47:27Our brothers and sisters
00:47:28Black and white alike
00:47:29And America will come good
00:47:31And it's promised
00:47:32That all men
00:47:33Are created equal
00:47:34I have a dream
00:47:35That one day
00:47:35Oh shut up
00:47:37You've won
00:47:38They changed the laws
00:47:39Look at the TV
00:47:40Here's your food
00:47:44Thank you very much
00:47:46Thank you very much
00:47:57Oh shit
00:48:03Now I have a new dream
00:48:08I have a new dream
00:48:09I have a new dream
00:48:09That one day
00:48:10White people
00:48:10Will discover seasoning
00:48:14And I have a dream
00:48:15That they will no longer
00:48:17Consider black pepper
00:48:18To be a spice
00:48:19I have a dream
00:48:22That we will all
00:48:23Come together
00:48:24To defeat the real
00:48:25White devil
00:48:26Mayonnaise
00:48:35Can you imagine
00:48:36How awkward it must have been
00:48:39That first walk
00:48:40After that first meal
00:48:43Martin and his boys
00:48:44Walking into the parking lot
00:48:47Dead quiet
00:48:58For this shit Martin
00:49:03For this shit Martin
00:49:05I'm so sorry fellas
00:49:06I didn't know
00:49:07God damn it Martin
00:49:08You had them whipping our ass
00:49:09For this shit
00:49:10Did you taste that food
00:49:12I thought it was delicious
00:49:13That's why I thought
00:49:14They were blocking us
00:49:14I apologize fellas
00:49:16I'm so sorry fellas
00:49:17My bad
00:49:18God damn it Martin
00:49:19That shit tastes like
00:49:20Depression man
00:49:20Is this the shit
00:49:22We've been fighting for
00:49:22I'm so sorry everybody
00:49:24I'll make it up to y'all
00:49:25I'll buy everybody
00:49:26Popeyes on the way home
00:49:37Who will you be
00:49:40When history calls
00:49:48Thank you
00:49:49Thank you
00:50:00You know the
00:50:02The conundrum of life is
00:50:05That just because
00:50:08The big is happening
00:50:11It doesn't mean that
00:50:12The small stops
00:50:16Just because the big
00:50:17Is happening
00:50:18Doesn't mean that
00:50:19The small
00:50:20Stops
00:50:22You know
00:50:25It's one of the
00:50:26Conundrums
00:50:27Of life
00:50:28How much of the big
00:50:29Do you focus on
00:50:30And how much of the small
00:50:32Do you pay any heed
00:50:34Do you pay any heed
00:50:36It was captured perfect for me
00:50:38There was an exchange
00:50:39That I saw online
00:50:40Between two people
00:50:41Someone posted
00:50:42Just graduated
00:50:43Really excited
00:50:45Got straight A's
00:50:46Party at my house
00:50:47Everyone's invited
00:50:48It was a joke
00:50:50Obviously not everyone
00:50:50Because of the internet
00:50:51Not everyone's invited
00:50:52And then people
00:50:54Started posting
00:50:54And then someone
00:50:54Jumped in the comments
00:50:55And was like
00:50:56Really
00:50:57Throwing a party
00:50:58At a time like this
00:50:59Read the room
00:51:00Look around you
00:51:01Is now the time
00:51:02To be celebrating
00:51:03This is not the time
00:51:04To throw parties
00:51:05When we're at it
00:51:05And it was this whole thing
00:51:06And then it devolved
00:51:07Into a huge fight
00:51:07And I'll be honest with you
00:51:08I could actually see
00:51:09Where both people
00:51:10Were coming from
00:51:11Emotionally
00:51:12I got it
00:51:13On the one hand
00:51:13Someone was saying
00:51:14How can you
00:51:15Throw a celebration
00:51:17At a time
00:51:17When it feels like
00:51:18The world
00:51:19As we know it
00:51:19Has fallen apart
00:51:20How can you
00:51:22Be joyous
00:51:23When it looks like
00:51:23Every norm
00:51:24And institution
00:51:25We have understood
00:51:26That makes up
00:51:27The fabric of society
00:51:28Is falling apart
00:51:29Our public trust
00:51:30Is falling apart
00:51:31Our trust in each other
00:51:32Is falling apart
00:51:32How can you
00:51:33Throw a party
00:51:33But the other person
00:51:34Was saying
00:51:35How can I not
00:51:37I have lived
00:51:37And worked my entire life
00:51:39To get to this place
00:51:40I have finally
00:51:41Achieved it
00:51:42Against all odds
00:51:43And so for this moment
00:51:44I wish
00:51:45To enjoy
00:51:47And both are right
00:51:49Right
00:51:50Both are right
00:51:55In every hospital
00:51:56Around the world
00:51:56There's a ward
00:51:57Where a baby
00:51:57Has just been born
00:51:58And another
00:51:59Where somebody
00:51:59Has just died
00:52:03Jubilation
00:52:03At the start
00:52:04Of a new life
00:52:06Despair
00:52:07At the loss
00:52:07Of someone
00:52:07You've always loved
00:52:09Neither ward
00:52:10Incorrect
00:52:12But then which one
00:52:13Do you
00:52:13Focus on
00:52:19I got
00:52:19I got an answer
00:52:20For myself
00:52:21In one of the most
00:52:21Random places
00:52:22I
00:52:22I was reading
00:52:24A book
00:52:25There was
00:52:26Accounts
00:52:27From soldiers
00:52:28Who served
00:52:29During
00:52:30World War I
00:52:32And they're talking
00:52:32To veterans
00:52:33Who had been there
00:52:34At the time
00:52:34And they were
00:52:35This book goes
00:52:36Through their experiences
00:52:39And a lot of them
00:52:40Talk about the trench
00:52:41Warfare
00:52:41Which was
00:52:42Some of the worst
00:52:43Warfare man
00:52:44Has ever invented
00:52:45When it went on
00:52:46For years
00:52:46And years
00:52:47And years
00:52:47And these soldiers
00:52:48Would cycle in
00:52:48And cycle out
00:52:49Every day
00:52:50Could have been
00:52:51Their last
00:52:52And in the midst
00:52:54Of all of this
00:52:54Despair
00:52:54There's one common
00:52:55Thread that you see
00:52:56With every single
00:52:57Soldier that they speak
00:52:58To almost every single
00:52:59One
00:53:00And that is that
00:53:01They found their joy
00:53:02In the trenches
00:53:05They have these moments
00:53:06Where they host card games
00:53:08And they play around
00:53:10They had a satirical newspaper
00:53:12That they started
00:53:13And they'd make jokes
00:53:14About their commanding officers
00:53:16And what was happening
00:53:17In the war
00:53:17And each other
00:53:18And one of the
00:53:20The wildest things I read
00:53:21Was there was a day
00:53:22When a cow
00:53:23Walked into the battlefield
00:53:25So it was in no man's land
00:53:26It was perfectly between
00:53:27The allies
00:53:28And the axis
00:53:29And it was like
00:53:29So it was like
00:53:30Both sides wanted the cow
00:53:33And then they shouted
00:53:34Across to the germans
00:53:35And they said
00:53:36We want the cow
00:53:37And then the germans
00:53:38Were like
00:53:38No we want the cow
00:53:40And then they agreed
00:53:41They said
00:53:41Okay let's play a game
00:53:42We'll throw up
00:53:43Coins in the air
00:53:44And we'll try to shoot them
00:53:46Whoever hits the coin
00:53:47Gets to keep the cow
00:53:49And then the english soldiers
00:53:51Shot the coin
00:53:52And then the germans
00:53:53Were like
00:53:53Okay
00:53:54You win the cow
00:53:55But we'd like our coins back
00:53:58And then the english soldier
00:53:59Went
00:54:00Got the coins
00:54:00And was like
00:54:01Oh they're gonna kill me
00:54:01And then got the coins
00:54:02And then gave them to the germans
00:54:03And then ran back
00:54:04And got in the trenches
00:54:05And then everyone was like
00:54:06Fun game
00:54:09You
00:54:09It's littered with story
00:54:10There were stories of soldiers
00:54:11Singing to each other
00:54:13On evenings
00:54:14Randomly
00:54:15They would sing
00:54:16Across enemy lines
00:54:17At the other soldiers
00:54:20And the other soldiers
00:54:21Would sing back
00:54:23Can you imagine that
00:54:24You're in a trench
00:54:25Your feet are rotting
00:54:27Everyone's tired
00:54:28Scared
00:54:28In the midst of that
00:54:29All of a sudden
00:54:30Someone's just like
00:54:30Say you
00:54:41They found their joy
00:54:43In the trenches
00:54:46And it hit me
00:54:48Because it made me realize
00:54:48They remembered
00:54:49What they were fighting for
00:54:50They were fighting to live
00:54:51They weren't fighting to fight
00:54:53If you forget what you're fighting for
00:54:55Then there's no point in fighting
00:54:57You're fighting to be joyous
00:54:59You're fighting to explore yourself
00:55:00You're fighting to have adventures
00:55:02You're fighting to laugh
00:55:03You're fighting
00:55:03You don't just fight
00:55:04To fight
00:55:05You're fighting to live
00:55:07Just because the big
00:55:09Is happening
00:55:10Doesn't mean that
00:55:12The small
00:55:12Stops
00:55:23My therapist told me
00:55:25That I am
00:55:25Undateable
00:55:32Yeah
00:55:35In a session
00:55:36And she just turned to me
00:55:36And she said
00:55:37Trevor
00:55:37I think
00:55:38It is because
00:55:38You are undateable
00:55:40And I was like
00:55:41Huh
00:55:41I guess
00:55:42You also didn't like
00:55:43The Grammys
00:55:48She told me this
00:55:48At the end
00:55:49Of a session
00:55:50Which I feel like
00:55:51Should be legal
00:55:53Right
00:55:53Well like
00:55:53Therapists
00:55:54Will drop a bomb on you
00:55:55At the end
00:55:56Of a session
00:55:57And then just expect
00:55:58You're away
00:55:58And they'll just be like
00:55:59Yeah
00:55:59And that's why
00:55:59Your father could never love you
00:56:01And you're like
00:56:01What?
00:56:02Oh yeah
00:56:02We've run out of time
00:56:03I'll see you next
00:56:03No
00:56:04No
00:56:05Next video
00:56:05Next video
00:56:06I don't want to wait a week
00:56:07I want Netflix therapy
00:56:09Not HBO
00:56:13And I had to wait two weeks
00:56:14And then in my next session
00:56:15I was like
00:56:15Wait wait wait
00:56:16Let's go into it
00:56:17And I was like
00:56:17Yeah skip recap
00:56:18Skip recap
00:56:18Let's go
00:56:18Let's go
00:56:19And she was like
00:56:20Well you know Trevor
00:56:21I was thinking about
00:56:21You know you and relationships
00:56:22And what we're talking about
00:56:23We're talking about
00:56:24My inability to be in a
00:56:26Long term relationship
00:56:27And I was trying to understand why
00:56:28And we're delving into it
00:56:30And she said
00:56:30I think it's because
00:56:31You are undateable
00:56:32And then she broke it down for me
00:56:34She said
00:56:34There are a few reasons
00:56:36I think you work too much
00:56:38I know you love your work
00:56:39But you work too much
00:56:40And that doesn't create
00:56:40A good balance in your life
00:56:42She said
00:56:43Also
00:56:44You travel too much
00:56:46And being in the same place
00:56:48Is crucial for building
00:56:49A solid relationship
00:56:51But I'll be honest with you
00:56:53Those things are really
00:56:54Just the side dish
00:56:56The main course
00:56:57And the real issue I have
00:56:59Is
00:57:00As my therapist put it
00:57:02I have an inability
00:57:05To
00:57:06Not say
00:57:07What is in my head
00:57:13And
00:57:13She taught me
00:57:14That one of the keys
00:57:16To a long successful relationship
00:57:19Is knowing
00:57:20When to think
00:57:22And
00:57:22When to speak
00:57:24Yeah
00:57:27And I was like
00:57:28I don't have that problem
00:57:29I'm a good communicator
00:57:30She's like
00:57:30No Trevor
00:57:30You
00:57:31Often times
00:57:32You have thoughts
00:57:33And you immediately say them
00:57:34You just have the thought
00:57:36And it comes out your mouth
00:57:37And Trump was like
00:57:38Tell him girl
00:57:48I was like
00:57:49I don't know
00:57:49I don't think
00:57:50I have that as a problem
00:57:51I think it's probably something
00:57:51She's like
00:57:52No no no
00:57:52I've got notes
00:57:53Hold on
00:57:53I've got some notes
00:57:55And she pulled out the notes
00:57:56And she's like
00:57:56Let's go through some examples
00:57:57And there was one example
00:57:58That really
00:57:59Yeah
00:57:59She was right
00:58:03It happened with an ex-girlfriend of mine
00:58:05It was the fracture that led
00:58:07To the end of the relationship really
00:58:09It wasn't the moment
00:58:10But that fracture caused
00:58:11The outcome
00:58:14We were getting ready for bed
00:58:18It was an innocuous night
00:58:20Brushing our teeth
00:58:21Getting into the covers
00:58:23And then before we turned off the lights
00:58:25We started talking to each other
00:58:26And we got really cozy
00:58:28You know those moments
00:58:28Where you're with the person you love
00:58:30And you
00:58:30You just find yourself
00:58:32In a rabbit hole
00:58:32Of stories you've never told
00:58:34And feelings you've never shared
00:58:35And you're laughing
00:58:36And you can feel
00:58:37You're falling more in love
00:58:39And we're lying there
00:58:40On the pillows
00:58:40You know
00:58:41Looking at each other
00:58:42And she's there
00:58:43Staring at me
00:58:45And all of a sudden
00:58:45She's like
00:58:47Hey
00:58:47Can I ask you a question?
00:58:51I was like
00:58:52Yeah
00:58:53Yeah of course
00:58:54She's like
00:58:56If you could change
00:58:58One thing about me
00:59:01What would you change?
00:59:06Now I have since learned
00:59:11That there is a correct answer
00:59:14To this question
00:59:17And yes
00:59:18One correct answer
00:59:19Regardless of how unique
00:59:20Your relationship is
00:59:22If you want to win
00:59:23This game show question
00:59:26The answer you give
00:59:27If she says to you
00:59:28If there's a woman in your life
00:59:29And she says
00:59:30If there's one thing
00:59:31You could change about me
00:59:32What would you change?
00:59:33The correct answer is
00:59:34Nothing
00:59:36Aha
00:59:37Yes
00:59:37I wish you were all there
00:59:38With me that night
00:59:41Yes
00:59:42Correct answer is
00:59:44Nothing
00:59:45You say nothing babe
00:59:47Babe I would change
00:59:48Nothing
00:59:49About you
00:59:50Because everything you are
00:59:53Makes you perfect
00:59:54For me
00:59:56If anything
00:59:58Can I be honest?
01:00:00I would change myself
01:00:04I would change myself
01:00:07So that I would be better able
01:00:09To receive the love
01:00:10That you so freely give
01:00:12That is what I would change
01:00:16That's the unabridged answer
01:00:18Should you wish to use it
01:00:20Yeah
01:00:22That is not the answer I gave
01:00:25Nope
01:00:26I said what was in my head
01:00:29She looked at me
01:00:30She said
01:00:30If you could change
01:00:32One thing about me
01:00:34What would you change?
01:00:36And I was like
01:00:37Oh
01:00:38One thing
01:00:43One thing
01:00:46One thing
01:00:47One thing
01:00:48Wow that's a tough one
01:00:49One thing
01:00:51Only one
01:00:52I went
01:00:52Okay let me think
01:00:53Hold on
01:00:54Let me think
01:00:54Let me think
01:00:55It was only one thing
01:00:56What would I change?
01:00:57What would I change?
01:00:59Okay okay
01:01:00I think I got it
01:01:01If I could change
01:01:01Only one thing about you
01:01:03I would change
01:01:05How you communicate
01:01:08During sex
01:01:11And she was like
01:01:12What?
01:01:15Yeah
01:01:15And then it snowballed
01:01:19I know I was wrong
01:01:20So please
01:01:21Don't judge me
01:01:22I know I was wrong
01:01:23And I'm working on it
01:01:23I'll explain to you
01:01:25What was going through my head
01:01:25Alright
01:01:26What happened
01:01:27That night
01:01:28Is
01:01:29First of all
01:01:29I thought it was a real question
01:01:30Okay
01:01:32Secondly
01:01:33Secondly
01:01:34I was trying to express
01:01:36A feeling
01:01:36That I had
01:01:38And that feeling
01:01:38Was a confusion
01:01:39That I would often have
01:01:40And sometimes a frustration
01:01:41When my girlfriend
01:01:42And I would be getting intimate
01:01:43Right
01:01:44We'd be in an intimate setting
01:01:45And she would say
01:01:46And I'm not trying to be lewd
01:01:47Or anything
01:01:48Right
01:01:48She would be like
01:01:49Oh I'm gonna come
01:01:50I'm gonna come
01:01:50I'm gonna come
01:01:51Right
01:01:51Which by the way ladies
01:01:52Is the greatest phrase
01:01:54You can ever say
01:01:54To a man
01:01:55Like ever ever ever
01:01:56There is nothing
01:01:57A man wants to hear
01:01:58More in his life
01:01:59Than that sentence
01:02:00You say that sentence
01:02:01We have reached
01:02:01The pinnacle
01:02:02Of manhood
01:02:03We have achieved
01:02:04We have arrived
01:02:05Yes
01:02:06You say that
01:02:06And we're like
01:02:07Me Tarzan
01:02:08It's done
01:02:10It's done
01:02:10And it is so powerful
01:02:12On us ladies
01:02:12That we will
01:02:13We will reach
01:02:14A level of
01:02:15Our masculinity
01:02:16That we didn't even knew
01:02:17We didn't even know
01:02:17We possessed
01:02:18We didn't even know we possessed
01:02:18Yeah you say that to us
01:02:19And we will become stronger
01:02:20We will overcome
01:02:21Things that we couldn't
01:02:22Our fatigue goes out the window
01:02:24Yeah
01:02:24Yeah we forget about that cramp
01:02:26We
01:02:26Like
01:02:28Any situation
01:02:29Like sometimes
01:02:30Sometimes we can't breathe
01:02:31You know
01:02:31Sometimes
01:02:32We can't breathe
01:02:33Sometimes our nose is blocked
01:02:35And
01:02:36And what we're doing
01:02:37At that time
01:02:38Is we're moving
01:02:39From breath to breath
01:02:40Right
01:02:40So we're doing our thing
01:02:41We're doing our thing
01:02:42We're doing our thing
01:02:43And then when we run out of air
01:02:44We
01:02:45Like a whale
01:02:46Breaching
01:02:47We'll pop up
01:02:50And then we'll dive back
01:02:52Into the depths
01:02:52Of your pleasure
01:02:54Right
01:02:55And this is fine
01:02:56It's a rhythm
01:02:56That every man has figured out
01:02:58For themselves
01:02:58Right
01:02:59But ladies
01:03:00Understand
01:03:01We are going from breath
01:03:02To breath
01:03:02And when you say
01:03:03I'm going to come
01:03:05We then go
01:03:06This is not the time
01:03:07To breathe
01:03:10This is my calling
01:03:11I have but one breath
01:03:13And I shall use it well
01:03:16And so we hold it
01:03:17And we keep going
01:03:19We keep going
01:03:21We keep going
01:03:22And we try
01:03:23To get you there
01:03:24Now the thing
01:03:25I didn't know
01:03:26At the time
01:03:26Was when my ex
01:03:27Would say
01:03:28The phrase
01:03:28I'm going to come
01:03:30What she actually
01:03:31Meant was
01:03:33The action
01:03:34You're performing
01:03:35On me
01:03:35Is quite pleasurable
01:03:37And I would like
01:03:38You to continue
01:03:40Please continue
01:03:41Exactly what you
01:03:42Are doing right now
01:03:44At the same cadence
01:03:46And preferably
01:03:46Same pressure
01:03:48Don't get excited
01:03:49Because I said that phrase
01:03:50Don't switch things up
01:03:51Just do exactly
01:03:53What you are doing
01:03:54Now
01:03:55Because you're
01:03:56On the right track
01:03:58You got this champ
01:03:59Keep going
01:04:01Before you were
01:04:02Before you were
01:04:02All over the place
01:04:03But this is it
01:04:05If you do this
01:04:06There's a good chance
01:04:07That I am going
01:04:08To reach my climax
01:04:10So you keep going
01:04:11Buddy
01:04:11You got this
01:04:12I believe in you
01:04:13You're getting warmer
01:04:16That's what she meant
01:04:19Right
01:04:20But you got to understand
01:04:21That's confusing
01:04:21That's confusing ladies
01:04:23Right
01:04:23Because you're saying
01:04:24This thing
01:04:25I'm going
01:04:25To come
01:04:26And I understand
01:04:27Now
01:04:27Like fellas
01:04:28When women say
01:04:29I'm going to come
01:04:30In many ways
01:04:30They're saying it
01:04:31The same way
01:04:31A person at a bus stop
01:04:32Would say
01:04:32The bus is going
01:04:33To come
01:04:34Right
01:04:35They mean you are
01:04:36At the correct location
01:04:37For a bus
01:04:38To coincide
01:04:39With yourself
01:04:42This is where
01:04:43The bus will come
01:04:44To
01:04:45But the when
01:04:46Is the issue
01:04:48The when
01:04:49Is where
01:04:49We are not connecting
01:04:51Because ladies
01:04:52Men
01:04:52We are quite literal
01:04:53About this
01:04:54You see
01:04:54When women are saying
01:04:55It's theoretical
01:04:55When women are like
01:04:56I'm going to come
01:04:57It just means
01:04:58That this is the right
01:04:59Direction
01:05:00Going could be
01:05:02Three minutes
01:05:03She could
01:05:04She could come
01:05:05In 15 minutes
01:05:07It could be
01:05:07Her next relationship
01:05:11Nobody knows
01:05:14But you've got
01:05:15To understand
01:05:15Ladies
01:05:15We're not breathing
01:05:18We're not breathing
01:05:18We're holding
01:05:19Our breath
01:05:20We're at our limit
01:05:21You need breath
01:05:22To live
01:05:22This is probably
01:05:24Why men live
01:05:24On average
01:05:25Ten years younger
01:05:25Than women
01:05:26Because of all
01:05:26The breaths we've missed
01:05:27Waiting for this to happen
01:05:29And it does not happen
01:05:29There's nothing wrong
01:05:30With it not happening
01:05:31It's just that
01:05:31We didn't know
01:05:32We didn't know
01:05:33Because we're a lot
01:05:33More literal
01:05:34When we communicate
01:05:34We're simple creatures
01:05:35Men
01:05:35It is what it is
01:05:36Like a dog
01:05:37Where's the ball
01:05:37There's the ball
01:05:38Where's the ball
01:05:38There's the ball
01:05:39When men say
01:05:40I'm going to come
01:05:41It means that
01:05:42The come is going
01:05:47The moment is imminently
01:05:49Upon you ladies
01:05:49That is what I mean
01:05:50When a man says
01:05:51I'm going to come
01:05:53This is the time
01:05:54There is no other
01:05:55There is no ad break
01:05:57You can take
01:05:58There is no pause
01:05:59You can make
01:05:59The come is happening
01:06:01In this moment
01:06:02You cannot blink
01:06:03You step in the road
01:06:05The bus will hit you
01:06:05That's what I'm saying
01:06:06The bus is there now
01:06:07The bus is there right now
01:06:09You'll be like
01:06:09Where's the bus
01:06:10There's the bus
01:06:10There's the bus
01:06:11When he says
01:06:12I'm going to come
01:06:13That is it
01:06:14Sometimes we already have
01:06:16I'm not going to lie
01:06:17Sometimes it's already happened
01:06:19I'm just going to be honest with you
01:06:20Sometimes it's already happened
01:06:21And we were trying
01:06:22To not make it happen
01:06:23And then we're like
01:06:24A little kid snitching on ourselves
01:06:25We just mess up the tents
01:06:26You know
01:06:27We're like
01:06:27Mommy I'm going to break
01:06:28Something in the kitchen
01:06:29It's already broken
01:06:31It's already broken
01:06:32And so that's why
01:06:33The worst thing you can say
01:06:34At that moment ladies
01:06:34Is oh not yet
01:06:36No yet has already occurred
01:06:38Yet has concluded
01:06:39And now our manhood
01:06:41Has been crushed
01:06:41With this tiny little phrase
01:06:43You say
01:06:43Not yet
01:06:44And then we're like
01:06:45Oh yet
01:06:45And then we try
01:06:46But you cannot
01:06:46It's finished
01:06:47It's fading away
01:06:48We know it is
01:06:49And so then we just
01:06:50Were like
01:06:50I'm going to do it anyway
01:06:51What do you mean
01:06:51You're doing it
01:06:52I'm doing it anyway
01:06:53Oh my god
01:06:53I can't believe
01:06:54You wouldn't wait for me
01:06:54I'm a man
01:06:55I can't do whatever I want
01:06:56You can't tell me
01:06:57When I should or shouldn't
01:06:58So you don't care about me
01:06:59I don't care about me
01:06:59And that's why I'm still single
01:07:04Yo DC
01:07:04You guys have been amazing
01:07:06Thank you so much
01:07:06For coming out tonight
01:07:11Thank you for coming
01:07:13Have a wonderful evening
01:07:15Good night
01:07:37Good night
01:08:02Good night
01:08:33Good night
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