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Desperate Housewives S03E17
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00:12Previously on Desperate Housewives...
00:13My back, I threw it out, I was...
00:15Geez, are you crying?
00:17Just a little.
00:18Edie got an unexpected visitor.
00:20Remember my little boy?
00:21I didn't know your son was coming for a visit.
00:22His father just dumped him here for four weeks.
00:25Gabby became the object of Victor's desire.
00:27Have you not noticed?
00:28I'm a catch.
00:30I have noticed, and I'm throwing you back.
00:32And as Mike struggled to recall his past,
00:35Ian's jealousy spurred him to action.
00:38Will you be my wife?
00:39Yes!
00:45God, I'm so nervous.
00:46Don't be.
00:47They're going to adore you as much as I do.
00:49Oh, thanks, I needed to hear that.
00:52Darling, thorns.
00:54Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:56If there was one thing Ian Hainsworth was sure of, it was that his love for Susan Meyer was indestructible.
01:05He knew this because it had been tested again...
01:08Oh!
01:09Oh!
01:10Oh!
01:10Oh!
01:10Oh!
01:10And again.
01:13And again.
01:14Oh!
01:14Oh!
01:16Oh!
01:16Ian had found a way to forgive Susan her occasional lack of grace.
01:21Oh!
01:22Here they come.
01:24The question now on his mind was, would his parents be able to do the same?
01:30Oh, Susan, father, that's my dear boy.
01:33This is my fiancée, Susan.
01:34These are my parents, Graham and Dahlia.
01:36Delighted.
01:37You weren't exaggerating.
01:38She's a vision.
01:39Oh, it's so great to finally meet both of you.
01:42Oh, this is for you.
01:43Careful, mother!
01:46Thorns.
01:46Ian, I know how to hold a rose.
01:49Of course, I just didn't want Susan to...
01:54You're right, sorry.
01:55Anyone hungry?
01:56Yes.
01:59So one puts the meat atop the burning coals.
02:02Oh, how wonderfully primal.
02:03Yes, I'll feel like some gloriously rough-hewn cowgirl enjoying her.
02:09What's the word?
02:10Vittles?
02:11No, that can't be right.
02:12No, it is.
02:12It's vittles.
02:14So, can I get you something to drink?
02:16I did all just a thimble of gin.
02:19No, no, you stay, darling.
02:20I can manage.
02:25It seems to be going rather well.
02:27Touch wood.
02:28Were you worried?
02:29Well, you know, introducing one's fiancée to one's parents is always a bit fraught.
02:33Oh, you don't have to tell me.
02:34The first time I met Darlene's parents was a complete disaster.
02:37We were at tea, and there was this plate of small cakes, and as I offered one to her mother,
02:42I tipped the plate and plopped.
02:44A scone fell right into her leadership's teacup.
02:46Ouch.
02:47Earl Grey everywhere, on the cloth, her mother's skirt.
02:50You must have been mortified.
02:52Oh, I was.
02:53It was an absolute debacle.
02:55Um, guys, uh, don't worry.
03:00She's all right.
03:02Yes, Ian Hainsworth knew his love for Susan was indestructible.
03:07Unfortunately for his mother, Chiffon was not.
03:13It was an absolute debacle.
03:53In every housewife's closet, there's a treasured article of clothing that she refuses to part with.
04:01It might be an old cheerleader uniform that symbolizes her youth.
04:07Or the last bikini she wore before she had children.
04:12Or a pair of expensive pants, she prays we'll come back in style.
04:18But for Gabrielle Solis, every piece of clothing was a treasure.
04:24Carefully selected, beautifully maintained, and utterly irreplaceable.
04:37I can't believe you bought another bustier.
04:39I know. I should never shop for lingerie when I'm horny. It's like buying groceries when you're hungry.
04:44In a slump, huh? How long has it been?
04:47About three weeks, and I'm dying.
04:49You know, I'm this close to seducing my gardener.
04:51Been there, done that.
04:52Mmm, that scrumptious teenager of yours.
04:55Hey, do you think?
04:56He's married.
04:57Hmm, damn.
04:59How about that Victor Lang? Have you two?
05:02No. God, no. As a matter of fact, I think I'm dumping him after dinner tonight.
05:05Why? He's rich, he's gorgeous, he's probably going to be mayor.
05:09And what more do you want?
05:10I don't know. He's just too arrogant.
05:13He acts like I've got some trophy he's already won. It's infuriating.
05:16Yeah, that's awful.
05:18Can I do it?
05:18Oh, stop it. You cannot be that hard up.
05:21Did I mention my gardener's 62?
05:25What the hell is this?
05:32Oh, my God.
05:42No!
05:46Hey, hey, hey!
05:48Hey, hey, hey!
05:51Honey?
05:52Where's your uniform?
05:54Oh, crap. I left it at home again.
05:56Yeah, um, I figured you would.
05:58Again, that's why.
06:02I pulled an extra one from the back.
06:04Oh, thanks.
06:05Are you sure it's the right...
06:06Yep, your size.
06:09Listen, I was thinking,
06:11wouldn't it be better if the staff wore a uniform
06:14and you and I wore regular clothes?
06:16That way it's like, hi, welcome to Scavo's.
06:18We're the Scavo's.
06:19Yeah, but I like wearing the uniform,
06:22and when you don't, it looks like we all work for you.
06:25Oh, good point.
06:26Okay, here's another good point.
06:27I hate orange.
06:29Since when?
06:30Since always.
06:31You know my closet.
06:32Surely you've noticed I don't own anything orange.
06:34No, I hadn't really...
06:35Orange says beware something bad's gonna happen.
06:37That's why they use it for life vests
06:38and traffic cones and convicts.
06:40Lynette?
06:41Also, it washes me out completely.
06:45You're wearing the uniform.
06:48Are you speaking as my husband or as my boss?
06:52Definitely your boss.
06:54Your husband.
06:55Too damn scared of you.
06:59As well he should be.
07:02As Edie walked home,
07:04all she could think of was her non-existent love life.
07:07That's me, Carlos!
07:08And how much she wanted back in the game.
07:12It was just then
07:14she saw someone
07:17she might like to play with.
07:23Hi!
07:24Hey, did you see that, Edie?
07:26Kids looking good, huh?
07:28Mmm, looking real good.
07:29Can we play another game?
07:30No, it's lunchtime.
07:32You go wash up.
07:32Bye, Carlos.
07:33Bye.
07:34Oh, you have been so great with Travers.
07:37Let me take you out for a steak tonight.
07:38You don't have to pay me back.
07:40I'm having more fun than he is.
07:42Well then,
07:44we'll just have to arrange for another play date.
07:47Anytime.
07:55Look who's back.
07:56Yes.
07:56Let's try this again, shall we?
07:58Maria, I am so sorry.
07:59Please, not another word.
08:02Chiffon at a barbecue.
08:03I was asking to be immolated.
08:06Drink with dinner, Mother.
08:07Oh, God, yes.
08:08Oh, not that chair.
08:09That's the wobbler.
08:10I'm saving up for a new set.
08:11I sit here.
08:15Ian tells us you have a young daughter.
08:17Won't she be joining us?
08:19Julie?
08:20Uh, no.
08:20She's at her father's this weekend.
08:22Oh.
08:24Is something wrong?
08:26Well, it's just that Ian told us
08:28that your husband had been gone for years.
08:30We assumed you were a widow.
08:32Oh, no.
08:34Carl's alive and kicking.
08:35Sadly.
08:37So you're a divorcee.
08:41What happened?
08:42Did he beat you?
08:43No.
08:44Of course not.
08:45She had ample grounds, Mother.
08:47Carl was a shameless womanizer.
08:49So it was just adultery.
08:51Just adultery?
08:52From my way of thinking,
08:54men are, by nature, weak.
08:57I think Graham will back me up on that.
08:59Really, Dahlia?
09:01If you want your marriage to last,
09:03when your husband strays,
09:06you extract some suitable penance
09:09and get on with it.
09:12Punish the sin, but love the sinner.
09:14Yeah, well, with Carl,
09:16I was more divorce the ass
09:18and seize the assets.
09:22So you better watch out.
09:24Betrayal makes me vengeful.
09:25Well, that's good to know.
09:29Yes, it certainly is.
09:35Apparently, the water heater
09:36in the attic had burst.
09:37Everything is ruined.
09:38My clothes, my shoes, dresses.
09:41Why are you smiling?
09:42Well, we have different perspectives.
09:44You see ruined clothes,
09:45and I see a woman
09:46who could suddenly use
09:47a rich boyfriend.
09:48You will never be my boyfriend.
09:50Gabby, how much longer
09:51are you going to pretend
09:52you're not crazy about me?
09:53Not much longer.
09:54This is our last date.
09:55Hmm.
09:55Didn't you say it was
09:56our last date on our last date?
09:58I mean it this time.
09:59Yeah, well, do me a favor.
10:00Mean it next time.
10:01I'm getting an award tomorrow
10:02at the Rotary Club.
10:03Boring.
10:05Come on, I want my date
10:06to be the most beautiful woman
10:07in the room.
10:07Is that supposed to flatter me?
10:09Only if you've never seen
10:10the women of the Rotary Club.
10:11Oh, shut up and get me a sweater.
10:14Have you even noticed
10:14how cold I am?
10:15Noticed.
10:16It's made my whole evening.
10:19Sweater, now.
10:21How about a nice, uh,
10:24cashmere cardigan?
10:31Oh, my God!
10:33What?
10:34Look at this!
10:36There's LeCroix
10:38and Angaro
10:39and vintage Gaultier.
10:41Yeah, I don't really know
10:42much about fashion.
10:43Shh!
10:44I can hear you.
10:46Oh, my God!
10:47There's another rat back here!
10:49Is this all your ex-wife's stuff?
10:50Yeah, she's storing it here
10:52until her new house is ready.
10:53Oh, my God!
10:55She wears my size!
10:56It's amazing!
10:57Nobody wears my size!
10:58Well, I guess I have a type.
11:00And normally, that would creep me out?
11:03Except it means that I can borrow
11:04this one-of-a-kind undari for our date!
11:07Whoa, whoa, whoa!
11:08Heel, girl.
11:08This belongs to my ex.
11:11So?
11:11So I don't think she'd appreciate
11:12me loaning her clothes
11:14to my girlfriend.
11:15Okay, A, I'm not your girlfriend
11:17and B, she's not going to find out
11:19unless you tell her.
11:21Come on!
11:23A dress as gorgeous
11:24is meant to be seen.
11:26Every day it hangs in a closet
11:28and an angel loses its wings.
11:29That's very cute.
11:30But the answer is still no.
11:32Come on, let's go.
11:41Gabby.
11:43I just wanted a moment
11:45to say goodbye.
11:50So in the next scene,
11:52the guy wakes up
11:52and the girl,
11:53Julia Roberts,
11:55Sandra Bullock,
11:55one of those,
11:56is standing there
11:58holding a tray of pancakes.
12:00What happens then?
12:02I keep telling you,
12:03I don't remember.
12:04What's the difference?
12:05It's just some stupid movie I saw.
12:07Yet every time you remember it,
12:08you feel sad or upset.
12:10I think something happened
12:11at that movie.
12:12or just afterwards.
12:13Who did you see it with?
12:15Well, it's obviously
12:16some chick flick.
12:18So probably Susan.
12:20Well, why not ask her about it?
12:21Maybe she can tell you what happened.
12:22No.
12:23No, I don't want to bother her.
12:25She just got engaged.
12:27Mike, this therapy
12:28isn't just about
12:29recovering your memories.
12:30It's about you getting closure.
12:32Now, the emotions you're feeling
12:33won't be resolved
12:34until you know what they're about.
12:36I don't know.
12:37I don't know.
12:38Come on.
12:38Talk to Susan.
12:40What could it hurt?
12:43That's awesome.
12:44I love model airplanes.
12:46So will you help me put it together?
12:47Sure.
12:47I'll see you tomorrow after school.
12:48Can you come at seven instead?
12:50Why so late?
12:51Mom says I can't play
12:52until I finish my homework.
12:53Bye.
12:55He's coming.
12:56So, can I stay up
12:57and watch my show now?
12:59You can stay up
13:00as late as you want, champ.
13:02Tomorrow,
13:04you are going to have
13:05an early night.
13:11Your father's been up there
13:1220 minutes.
13:13Are you sure he's okay?
13:14He's fine.
13:14He always lies down after dinner.
13:16He says it helps his digestion.
13:17Relax.
13:18It's going very well.
13:19I set your mother on fire.
13:21And you've been
13:21relentlessly charming ever since.
13:23Trust me.
13:24When she looks back in tonight,
13:25she won't even remember the fire.
13:27Ah!
13:31But she may remember this.
13:32Oh, my God.
13:33I'm so sorry.
13:35Are you all right?
13:36Yes, I'm perfectly fine.
13:38At least this blouse
13:39made it through dinner.
13:40Let me get you a towel.
13:50Oh.
13:51Hello.
13:53Oh, I hope you don't mind.
13:55Dahlia has a birthday coming up,
13:57and I saw this.
13:58Hanging there,
13:58and I thought,
13:59a robe.
14:00Well, there's a notion.
14:02So I just tried it on
14:04to get a sense of the drape.
14:07Were you also thinking
14:08of getting her a lace bra?
14:11Oh, dear God!
14:13Please don't mention this
14:14to any of my family.
14:16Just take the robe off.
14:21And whatever you have on underneath,
14:23consider that yours.
14:26Be reasonable, dear.
14:28I'm only trying to protect you.
14:30From Susan?
14:30Well, she doesn't care about my money.
14:32She's never asked me for a cent.
14:33Your logic is as wobbly
14:35as the dining room chairs
14:36she can't afford to replace.
14:38I love Susan,
14:39and I won't ask her to do this.
14:41Hello.
14:42Mother's fine.
14:43I found her a sweater.
14:43Oh, so what won't you ask me?
14:47Nothing.
14:48I was wondering
14:49if you'd object to signing a document
14:51that says,
14:52should you and Ian part ways,
14:55you'll accept a cash settlement
14:57and not go after the money
14:59he inherits from us.
15:02You mean a prenup?
15:03Please, try to understand.
15:05Our country estate
15:07has been in our family
15:08for generations.
15:09We want it preserved
15:11for the children
15:12we hope Ian will have,
15:14not lost in some pricey divorce.
15:16Well, who's getting divorced?
15:18I'm in this for keeps.
15:20I'm sure you said the same
15:22to your first husband
15:23before you belted
15:23with all you could carry.
15:26Hey...
15:26Mother, Susan is not signing anything.
15:29Fine.
15:31Then we'll leave it all
15:32to your brother.
15:33Well, do you think Nigel
15:34is going to give you a grandson?
15:35He's an alcoholic homosexual.
15:38With a castle at stake,
15:39he can learn a new skill.
15:41Okay, stop this.
15:42We invited you here
15:43to celebrate our engagement.
15:45Now I'm divorced
15:45and Ian's disinherited?
15:47Hello.
15:48Have I missed anything?
15:51We'll be going soon.
15:52Please, don't be offended.
15:55All of us go into marriage
15:57convinced that everything
15:59will be perfect.
16:00God knows I did.
16:02And then one day
16:04I found a bill
16:05for some expensive lingerie.
16:07Boustiers, penoirs,
16:09none of it my size.
16:12Certainly happened to my eyes.
16:14I'm not like my father.
16:16Trust him, he's not.
16:19I'm sorry, Ian.
16:30Hey, guys.
16:32Hey, Mrs. Scavo.
16:33I'm sorry.
16:34We were just taking a quick break.
16:35We'll get back to work.
16:36No.
16:37No, don't be silly.
16:38Who am I, Tom?
16:40I'm one of you guys.
16:41Sit down.
16:44Hey.
16:46You know what we could use?
16:50A good old-fashioned bitch session
16:52to get some stuff off our chests.
16:55So, what's bugging you guys?
16:57Okay, I'll go first.
16:59How do we feel about these uniforms?
17:00A little...
17:02Eh.
17:05Uh, okay.
17:07But hey, why do we have to pull our tips?
17:10Why can't we just keep what we earn?
17:11Uh-huh, uh-huh.
17:12Good point, good point.
17:13But right now, we're talking about
17:15these ugly-ass uniforms.
17:17See, no bugs me.
17:18No health benefits.
17:20I'm kind of worried about this mole.
17:21I thought...
17:21Focus, people.
17:23The subject is shirts.
17:24It's killing morale.
17:26Well, I kind of like them.
17:28Really, Kim?
17:30Because I heard one of your customers say
17:32that when Halloween comes around,
17:34we should stick a candle in your mouth.
17:37See?
17:38Morale.
17:38You guys need to stand up for yourselves.
17:41It's your right.
17:41No, it's your obligation
17:43to go to management
17:45and demand new shirts.
17:47And if management doesn't like it,
17:49you tell him he can go screw.
17:51Okay.
17:52Okay.
17:53Break's over, people.
17:54I'm gonna go find Tom and talk.
17:56Oh!
17:58Good.
18:07I can't believe you tried to undermine me like this.
18:10Well, you gave me no choice.
18:13It's just a uniform.
18:15Why can't you wear it?
18:17Because I need to win one, Tom.
18:19What?
18:19You keep ordering me around
18:21and disagreeing with me
18:22and overruling me,
18:23and I'm sick of it.
18:24We have to do things my way
18:26at least every once in a while.
18:27This was the deal, Lynette.
18:29You agreed.
18:30I'm in charge here.
18:31You're in charge of me.
18:32Except we're never home.
18:33We live here.
18:33Our marriage happens here.
18:37Okay.
18:38You know what?
18:38We can't talk about this now.
18:40We open in ten minutes.
18:41Maybe later...
18:42Later, I'll be asleep,
18:43and then I will be back here
18:44before you wake up.
18:46We gotta deal with this now.
18:47Okay.
18:48All right.
18:50We're gonna deal with this now.
18:52I'm gonna get ready
18:53for the dinner rush,
18:54and you're gonna wear
18:54wear the damn uniform.
19:04No.
19:07What?
19:09I'm going home.
19:12You're walking out on me.
19:16I told you orange meant
19:17something bad was gonna happen.
19:36I told you I had dinner
19:37here the other night.
19:38Anyway, I was driving
19:38through your neighborhood
19:39after having, like,
19:40three iced teas,
19:41and I really have to go
19:41to the bathroom.
19:42Do you mind?
20:02Oh, you and I are gonna be
20:06so happy together.
20:36I feel like I'm gonna be
20:3810 pounds lighter.
20:46Hey, you got a minute?
20:47I, uh, I need your help
20:49with something.
20:49Um, I should probably
20:51get these inside.
20:52Please.
20:53I need to ask you
20:54about a movie.
20:59And so the last part
21:00I remember,
21:01the girl is putting
21:02these raw pancakes
21:03in front of him,
21:04and then something else
21:05funny happened.
21:06I don't remember.
21:06It was just a stupid
21:07chick flick.
21:09Mike, it wasn't a movie.
21:11That was us.
21:12What?
21:15Yeah, um,
21:17that was the first night
21:18that we spent together.
21:19I wanted to surprise you.
21:21With raw pancakes?
21:22Well, they weren't all raw.
21:24I was trying to spell Mike,
21:26and the M was goopy,
21:27but the Ike was delicious.
21:28You loved it.
21:29I did, huh?
21:30Actually, no,
21:31it was gross.
21:32But you were really sweet.
21:33You just gave me a lot of kisses
21:34and said not to worry.
21:35I'd get a lot of chances
21:36to make you pancakes,
21:37because...
21:38Because I was planning
21:39on spending the rest
21:40of my mornings with you.
21:45You remember?
21:48Yeah.
21:53I should go,
21:54because, um,
21:56Ian's parents are here.
22:06It's nice to see you.
22:07Thank you both for coming.
22:09You know,
22:10I know I've said it ten times,
22:11but you look fantastic.
22:13And my offer still stands.
22:15You do not have to pay
22:16for my dress.
22:17Come on,
22:17you only need it
22:18for my luncheon,
22:19and it looks like
22:20it cost a bundle.
22:21Trust me,
22:22it was a steal.
22:24I'm gonna go powder my nose,
22:25and then you can start
22:26showing me up.
22:30Heads up,
22:31I just saw your ex-wife.
22:32What is she doing here?
22:34Some friend of hers
22:35has got a plaque, too.
22:36You wanna duck out
22:37after your speech?
22:38Are you kidding?
22:39I can't wait
22:40until she gets
22:41a good long look at Gabby.
22:51Hey.
22:53Hello.
22:56I love your dress.
22:58Thanks.
22:59It's one of a kind,
23:00isn't it?
23:01Yeah, couture.
23:03Andari?
23:05Wow, good eye.
23:07Well, I do have
23:08an unfair advantage.
23:10I bought it.
23:14So, you're, uh...
23:16Uh-huh.
23:17Well, first,
23:18let me just say
23:19you have amazing taste.
23:20If we had met
23:21in any other context,
23:22we would so get along.
23:23I left those clothes
23:24with Victor
23:24so he could store them,
23:26not loan them
23:26to his sluts.
23:29Okay, you're mad,
23:30so I'm just gonna
23:31blow right by
23:32that slut crack.
23:32I want my dress
23:34back now.
23:35Okay, let's be reasonable.
23:36You can't wear
23:37two dresses to one lunch.
23:38It's not like
23:39I have a spare in the car.
23:40Not my problem.
23:41Give me back
23:42the dress.
23:43Go ahead.
23:44Yell all you want.
23:44You can't force me
23:45to take off this dress.
23:47This is pepper spray.
23:49In three seconds,
23:51your eyeballs
23:51will be on fire.
23:54Could you help me
23:55with a clasp?
23:59Hello, Samantha.
24:00I heard you were...
24:01Isn't that Gabby's dress?
24:07Gabby, you in there?
24:11Hey, Victor.
24:13Uh, probably wondering
24:15why I've been in here
24:16so long.
24:17Funny story,
24:18I ran into your ex-wife.
24:20Yeah, she brought me up
24:21to speed.
24:36Okay, it's time
24:37for bed, Travers.
24:38But I want to show
24:39Carlos my new turtle.
24:42Oh, right.
24:43I'm tired.
24:44That's okay, buddy.
24:45I gotta get going anyway.
24:46Hey, I haven't even
24:47finished your wine.
24:48Sorry, early day tomorrow.
24:50Come on, kiddo.
24:50I'll tuck you in.
25:10Sleep tight, Travers.
25:12Oh, no.
25:12I'm such a klutz.
25:14I think I broke it.
25:15Nah, no.
25:16It's just a flap.
25:16I can fix that.
25:27I can't see what I'm doing here.
25:29Oh, I'm sorry.
25:34Maybe I should watch
25:36so that if it breaks again,
25:37I can fix it.
25:39Okay, so this hinge
25:41needs to go in at this angle
25:43so that the flap works.
25:45See?
25:46God, you're so mechanical.
25:50Edie, what are you doing?
25:52Learning about flaps.
25:55Nah, I think you're
25:56coming on to me.
25:58Maybe.
25:59Okay, Edie, no.
26:01Come on.
26:02We're close friends
26:03and I don't want to ruin that.
26:04Well, we're not that close.
26:06Let's just do it
26:07and see where it goes.
26:08Okay, you know what?
26:08It wouldn't go anywhere.
26:10Why not?
26:14Because I'm looking for a girl
26:15who wants to settle down
26:16and be in a serious relationship
26:18and you're not that type.
26:19Oh, what type am I?
26:23You're the fun type.
26:25Who likes to dress sexy
26:26and go out and meet new people
26:28and then go out the next night
26:30and meet another new people.
26:33You think I'm from a skis?
26:35I'm just saying,
26:36for a house and a cul-de-sac,
26:37this place sees a lot of traffic.
26:38Just because I'm popular
26:39doesn't mean that I'm incapable
26:41of a lasting commitment.
26:43Look, you can't even commit
26:44to your kid.
26:45He's here for a month
26:46and you keep dumping him
26:47on neighbors so you can go shopping.
26:48That is when you're not
26:49using him for sex bait.
26:54Get out of my house.
27:03Tom, me again.
27:05You should have been home
27:0630 minutes ago.
27:07I know, you're still mad.
27:08I am too.
27:09So why don't you come home
27:10and we can be mad together.
27:11See you soon.
27:13So what kind of orange
27:14is this shirt?
27:15Like a salmon or a coral?
27:19Oh, cheese doodle.
27:21Exactly.
27:21And I'm supposed to wear that
27:22every damn day.
27:24Oh, please.
27:24It's not that bad.
27:25I once worked
27:26at this fish and chip place.
27:27I had to wear an eye patch
27:28and a stuffed parrot
27:29on my shoulder.
27:30Would you like to hear
27:31our specials?
27:33Why don't you just tell Tom
27:35to pick another color?
27:36This isn't about the shirt anymore.
27:37This is about us working together.
27:40Every day it's a battle.
27:41It's hurting our marriage.
27:43You know what?
27:45I'll just tell Tom
27:46I need to step back.
27:47You mean quit?
27:48Yeah.
27:49We could hire a manager
27:50or something.
27:51Wow.
27:53How do you think Tom's
27:54going to feel about that?
27:55Well, once he decides
27:56to stop hiding
27:57I can ask him.
28:00You know what?
28:01I'm tired of waiting.
28:02I'm going to go down there
28:03and I'm going to talk to him.
28:04See you guys later.
28:10So I guess this means
28:11we're babysitting the kids, huh?
28:13I guess so.
28:15I'm an idiot.
28:15Would you guys mind?
28:17We got it.
28:18Just go.
28:34Come on, I know you're still here.
28:38You realize what time it is?
28:41I know, you're mad.
28:43But you just,
28:45you can't avoid me
28:46all night.
28:50Oh my God.
28:51Oh my God.
28:53Oh my God.
28:54Oh my God.
28:54Come on, Tom.
28:56Tell me, tell me, tell me.
28:57Okay.
28:57Okay.
28:58You're breathing.
28:59That's good.
29:00That's good.
29:04Hello.
29:05Hi.
29:05There's something wrong
29:06with my husband.
29:08I don't know.
29:09He's unconscious.
29:12357 Hawthorne Place.
29:14Okay.
29:14Could you please hurry?
29:18Yes.
29:19Yes.
29:26Listen to me.
29:29I forbid you to die.
29:33If you leave me
29:35with a mortgage
29:36and a restaurant
29:37and five kids,
29:38I swear I will
29:39track you
29:40into the deepest pit
29:41of hell
29:42and make you pay.
29:43Do you hear me?
29:46Come on, baby.
29:50Oh, please.
29:54So that's it?
29:55He threw out his back?
29:57Oh, thank God.
29:59I'm guessing
29:59he passed out
30:00from the pain.
30:01But I want to be clear.
30:02A ruptured disc
30:03is very serious.
30:04He'll need surgery.
30:05It'll be a while
30:06before he's back
30:07on his feet.
30:08How much of a while?
30:09Three months.
30:10Three months?
30:11Even then,
30:12he'll need to go easy.
30:14What sort of work
30:15does he do?
30:16We run a restaurant.
30:18He shouldn't go back
30:19for four or five months.
30:21Restaurant work
30:21is very stressful.
30:24Yeah, it is.
30:34What's that?
30:34Oh, it's the pre-nut
30:36that my parents
30:36want you to sign.
30:39And you brought it to bed?
30:42Okay.
30:44Romance tip number one.
30:45Sorry, I just
30:46can't get that off my mind.
30:47I keep thinking,
30:47why all this ungodly fuss?
30:49Susan's not in this
30:50for money and heirlooms.
30:52I don't want
30:53your family's stuff.
30:54What am I going to do
30:54with half a castle?
30:56Exactly.
30:57So why not just sign it?
31:00Huh?
31:01I mean,
31:02looking at it rationally,
31:03what's the difference
31:03between making the promise
31:04you just made to me
31:05and making the same
31:05promise on paper?
31:08Uh,
31:10well, the difference
31:11is huge.
31:12I mean,
31:13one way you're
31:14trusting me
31:15and the other way
31:17you're trying
31:18to make it official.
31:19Well, isn't that
31:20what marriage is,
31:21making your love official?
31:22Ian,
31:24do you really want
31:24to start our life together
31:25making me feel like
31:27I'm on probation?
31:29You know that I trust you.
31:31This isn't about my fears.
31:33it's about my parents.
31:35Really?
31:37I think it's about
31:38someone else.
31:41He just wanted me
31:42to help him
31:43remember something.
31:45Who?
31:46Mike.
31:47I saw you watching us.
31:49We were just talking.
31:51I never thought
31:52anything else.
31:59Okay, I'll sign it.
32:01What?
32:02At least read it first.
32:04I don't need to.
32:05I trust you.
32:16Oh, hi, Mike.
32:17So, tell me.
32:19I've been dying to know.
32:20Did you talk to Susan?
32:21Could she remember
32:22what the movie was?
32:24Actually,
32:25no.
32:26Oh, well,
32:27hang in there.
32:28We'll figure it out.
32:29Just a matter of time
32:30before everything
32:30starts coming back.
32:32Here, have a seat.
32:32Uh, listen,
32:34you've been really
32:35helpful
32:35the last few months,
32:36but I
32:37think I'm done here.
32:40Mike,
32:40I know this can be
32:41a frustrating process,
32:43but if you give up now,
32:45there are so many memories
32:47that could be lost to you.
32:50Yeah, I'm okay with that.
32:58Oh, my God.
32:59How many did you take?
33:00Sorry, I wanted options.
33:03Stop judging me.
33:05I was hopped up on couture.
33:06You know, it's not funny.
33:07Samantha called her lawyer.
33:09What?
33:09Over a dress?
33:11God, what a bitch.
33:12Hey!
33:13Don't call her that.
33:14She threatened me
33:15with mace
33:16and then slugged you.
33:17Now you're on her side?
33:18Gabby,
33:18I didn't marry an angry woman.
33:19I just divorced one.
33:21What happened?
33:22Did you have some
33:22little mistress on the side?
33:24Worse.
33:25I treated her
33:26like she was the mistress.
33:27I set her up
33:28in a nice house.
33:29I gave her an allowance.
33:31And then I came
33:32and went as I pleased.
33:36She was always there
33:37when I needed her,
33:38but if she needed me,
33:41well...
33:43And if she wasn't happy,
33:45she could always go
33:46and buy a nice new dress.
33:49You saw the closet,
33:50so you know
33:51just how happy she was.
33:57What?
34:01I've known you
34:02for two weeks,
34:03and this is the first glimpse
34:05of a guy I could actually like.
34:08A clueless,
34:08emotionally stunted workaholic?
34:11A guy who can admit
34:12he's screwed up.
34:13One who's not trying
34:14to impress me
34:15every second of the day
34:15with how perfect
34:16and charming he is.
34:18I wouldn't mind
34:19seeing more of that guy.
34:21Well, his schedule's wide open.
34:23How about dinner tomorrow night?
34:25I'd love to.
34:28Although,
34:28what am I gonna wear now?
34:32It doesn't matter.
34:34I'm just gonna talk you out of it.
34:37Look who's back.
34:38Mr. Cuckey.
34:39He never leaves for long,
34:41does he, that guy?
34:53Are there any points
34:55you'd like to discuss
34:56before you sign?
34:57I'd like you to say,
34:58we don't need this.
35:00We trust you.
35:02But you don't,
35:03so I'll sign it.
35:06And once I do,
35:07I am going to earn your trust
35:09by being a good wife to Ian.
35:10Well, we're sure you will be.
35:13Um, sign all three copies, please.
35:19I mean it.
35:20I'm going to be loving
35:21and faithful
35:22and above all honest.
35:23There'll be no secrets with Ian.
35:29I'll tell him everything.
35:33Well, we applaud Orkana.
35:35What I'm trying to say is
35:37there'll be no topic
35:38that I need to skirt.
35:43No issue that
35:44I won't address.
35:50I won't conceal my true thoughts
35:52under garments of secrecy.
35:57Good for you.
35:58Now, if you'll just sign.
35:59For God's sake, Dahlia,
36:00anyone can see
36:00she's not a fortune on her.
36:02Kirill, what are you doing?
36:03She is willing to sign.
36:04Which proves she can be trusted.
36:10I'm sure you'll be
36:11a good wife to Ian.
36:15You can count on it.
36:39Thanks for the flowers.
36:41You're welcome.
36:44You know, about Travers.
36:47You can see him if you want.
36:49He misses you.
36:51I miss him too.
36:52Oh, and just so you know,
36:53he's at a sleepover.
36:54So I didn't leave him alone
36:56with a six pack and some matches.
37:00Look, Edie, um...
37:02What I said about you
37:03the other day was...
37:04Dead on.
37:06You nailed me, Carlos.
37:08Maybe not the way
37:09that I wanted you to,
37:10but still...
37:11But I had no right
37:12to judge you.
37:14Besides, the guys,
37:15the clothes,
37:16the partying,
37:17that's you.
37:18I mean, that's the Edie
37:19that we love.
37:20Well, I'm glad you love her
37:21because I'm getting
37:22pretty tired of her.
37:23Come on.
37:24I'm a 40-year-old party girl.
37:26Do you think that I don't know
37:27that my days are numbered?
37:31I don't know
37:32what you want me to say here.
37:33Don't say anything.
37:36Just stop seeing
37:37the person that I've been
37:38and start seeing
37:40the person I could be.
37:43Look at me.
37:44Not the Edie
37:45that I show the world.
37:50In fact,
37:53let's lose her.
37:56Forget the blouse
37:57that she wears
37:58because
37:59she knows
38:00it shows off
38:01her cleavage.
38:02Uh, Edie,
38:03what are you doing?
38:06And the skirt
38:08that's so short
38:10because she knows
38:11that guys love
38:12long legs.
38:14And the heels.
38:18Ones that make
38:18her legs look
38:19even longer.
38:20Edie, please.
38:21Forget the bra
38:22that holds her breasts
38:24a little higher
38:25than they are
38:25on their own
38:26these days.
38:33And the panties.
38:37The ones that hide
38:38the scar
38:39from my C-section.
38:51This is it.
38:54Hi, Carlos.
38:56I'm Edie.
39:00I might not be
39:01the woman that you
39:01thought I was
39:02under all of that.
39:05But I'm real.
39:08And I'm here.
39:14and I'm asking
39:15for a chance.
39:32Hey, Andrew.
39:34Oh, thanks.
39:35He's gonna be okay.
39:38No.
39:39No, absolutely not.
39:40We will open tonight
39:41as usual.
39:43Hey, it's gonna be fine,
39:45Andrew.
39:46I will take care of it.
39:48It's my job now.
39:50Mm-hmm.
39:51Okay.
39:52See you soon.
39:53Bye.
39:57In every housewife's closet,
40:00there's an article
40:01of clothing
40:02that tells you
40:03more about its owner
40:04than she would
40:05want you to know.
40:06It might be a shirt
40:08that she despises,
40:10but wears
40:11without complaint.
40:13Perhaps it's
40:15some lingerie
40:15she knows
40:17isn't hers,
40:18but refuses
40:19to discuss.
40:23Or a dress
40:24she once loved
40:27that she can
40:28no longer
40:29bear to look at.
40:32Yes,
40:33you can learn
40:34a lot about women
40:35from what they
40:37choose to wear.
40:39You can learn
40:40even more
40:41by what they
40:43choose to take off
40:45and who
40:46they take it off for.
40:48more.
40:53I don't know
41:04I don't know
41:04if you want
41:05I'm not.
41:05I don't know
41:06you.
41:08I don't know
41:11if you want
41:12to take it off
41:14and save it
41:14or not.
41:15I don't know
41:17if you want
41:26Transcription by CastingWords
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