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Desperate Housewives S03E16
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00:12Previously on Desperate Housewives, Mike's plan to propose to Susan...
00:17These things don't belong to Jane.
00:18Mike Delfino.
00:19...was a surprise to Ian.
00:22Monique was murdered.
00:23There's been an accident.
00:24And Orson...
00:25Don't forget your wrench.
00:27...passed the blame.
00:28A connection was made.
00:32A heart was broken.
00:35And Brie buried her husband, Rex.
00:45My name is Rex Vandekamp.
00:48I always hated cemeteries when I was alive.
00:51Now that I'm dead, I like them even less.
00:57Here's where I used to live.
00:58A whole lot nicer, don't you think?
01:02The place hasn't changed much since I left.
01:04As tasteful and tidy as ever.
01:07Everything perfect.
01:08At least on the surface.
01:10My family was the same way.
01:13Look at us.
01:14You'd never guess how ticked off we all were the day this was taken.
01:17But that was the thing about us Vandekamps.
01:20To really fit in, you had to have a smile that gave away nothing.
01:27Like my son Andrew.
01:29To look at him, you'd never know he spent six months on the streets supporting himself with hand-handling and
01:34light prostitution.
01:36Or my daughter, Danielle.
01:38Does she look like the kind of girl who'd seduce her middle-aged history teacher?
01:42I mean, they're my kids, and I love them.
01:45But I'm pretty darn relieved to be dead.
01:49Here's the clown Brie replaced me with.
01:52Orson.
01:53I don't mind saying he's creeped me out right from the get-go.
02:00To me, he always has the shifty look of a guy who knows where the bodies are buried.
02:06And he should know.
02:08He buried them.
02:10But Brie thinks he's Sir Galahad.
02:13The kids like him.
02:16And all my friends?
02:19Now his friends.
02:21So it pleases me to know that at least one of my old neighbors
02:24sees right through the guy.
02:27Mike, you just missed Brie.
02:30She's off to see your folks.
02:31And we're finally taking our honeymoon.
02:34Not a bad time for you to leave town, is it?
02:37Well, I don't follow you.
02:39I just keep thinking about that night at Monique's place.
02:42How you made sure I left with my wrench.
02:44The one with her blood on it.
02:46Well, it was your wrench.
02:49Why are you rehashing this?
02:51My ex-wife confessed in her suicide note.
02:53The case is closed.
02:55Maybe it shouldn't be.
02:58What do you think the police would say if they knew you were there that night?
03:02What do you think they'd say if they knew you threw me off a roof?
03:08Oh, Mike.
03:09We could make so much trouble for each other.
03:12Or we can forget what we think we know and be good neighbors.
03:18Your call.
03:24Orson Hodge isn't exactly the guy I'd have picked to head my family.
03:28But I'll give him one thing.
03:31He's got the smile down cold.
03:34Oh, my God.
03:35Oh, my God.
03:43Oh, my God.
03:53Oh, my God.
04:15Take a drive down any street in suburbia.
04:18Know what you're going to see?
04:20Desperate women.
04:22That's right.
04:24One unhappy housewife after another.
04:27Each completely miserable.
04:31In her own unique way.
04:34But I don't want to talk about them.
04:36No.
04:37I want to talk about their men.
04:39And what happens to a guy when that special lady in his life starts to lose it?
04:45Like my friend Carlos.
04:47He used to have it all.
04:49Hot wife.
04:50Tons of dough.
04:52Then, bam.
04:54She gets a divorce and he gets stuck with the bill.
04:57But does he sit around and complain like your average housefrau?
05:01No, sir.
05:02He finds creative ways to get what you can out of life.
05:10Hey, bro, where are you off to?
05:12Oh, the hospital call.
05:13They found the stuff I had on me the night of the accident.
05:15Wow.
05:17Coma, murder rap.
05:18You've had a tough year, buddy.
05:19You know what you need?
05:20Some pampering.
05:22Tomorrow you're checking into a nice hotel.
05:23Room service, jacuzzi, my treat.
05:26You're trying to get me out of the house.
05:28Mike, why would I?
05:29Okay, there's this girl.
05:30I knew it.
05:31Dude, she's a dancer.
05:34And if her online profile is any indication, she's a complete freak.
05:37We're talking serious daddy issues.
05:39Look, I'll stay in my room.
05:40You'll never hear me.
05:40Yeah, but you'll hear me.
05:42I'm kind of exuberant by nature, and when I haven't had it in a while, I kind of do the
05:46shrieking thing that, I mean, it's kind of...
05:47Oh, okay, all right.
05:48I'll go.
05:49Just stop talking.
05:50Thanks, pal.
05:51I wouldn't want it to put a weird spin on our friendship.
05:52Too late.
05:56This is my friend Tom.
05:58Have you heard what he's been up to lately?
06:02The silly bastard opened up his own pizza place.
06:05He thought that if he was his own boss, he could sleep in as late as he wanted.
06:10But the problem with that logic is that married guys...
06:14Hey, it's after nine.
06:15Come on, Thomasina, it's time to get up.
06:18...are never their own boss.
06:20Are you as tired as I am?
06:22More, but I'm tougher, and I complain less.
06:26Not when you give birth.
06:27You do that a lot.
06:28Yeah?
06:30Ow.
06:30Before I forget, you got a call from Shea New confirming your reservation for our anniversary.
06:36You heard that?
06:37I wanted that to be a surprise.
06:39Well, we've been going there for the last seven years.
06:41It's not exactly a surprise.
06:43Anyway, I hope you don't whine.
06:46But I canceled.
06:50Canceled?
06:51Why?
06:51Honestly, I just don't feel up to going out this year.
06:55But it's our anniversary.
06:56It's our ninth anniversary.
06:57Come on, the big nine.
06:58That's a year longer than my mom said we would be married.
07:02Come on, we gotta party down.
07:04Oh, I'm exhausted.
07:08Honestly.
07:09All I want to do is pawn the kids off on somebody else, take a long bath, and be in
07:13bed by eight.
07:16Okay.
07:18Thank you, thank you.
07:22Hold it.
07:25What about my sex?
07:26I always get sex on our anniversary.
07:28We can still have sex.
07:30Just try not to wake me.
07:36This is Ian.
07:38Don't really know the guy, but Susan Meyer seems to like him.
07:42The other night, he surprised her with a proposal.
07:45She said yes, but he's still a little skittish about the competition.
07:51But Ian knows that if love is war...
07:54Hey, where were you off to so early this morning?
07:56Sometimes you gotta bring out the big artillery.
08:02I should have had it when I proposed.
08:04It's not very good form, I know.
08:07Ian, oh.
08:08You can't be serious.
08:10Oh, that's just too much.
08:12It's huge.
08:13Well, we could go smaller.
08:14Oh, no, no one's saying smaller.
08:16No, that's crazy talk.
08:21Rock me.
08:25Oh.
08:26Oh, my God.
08:27Oh, it's so beautiful.
08:30Oh, oh, oh, okay, okay.
08:32Nobody move.
08:36I got it.
08:37I knew I should have measured your finger.
08:39No, it's okay.
08:39I can get it resized.
08:41You should go to the jeweler's right now.
08:43And when you get back, we can go and look at some places for the reception.
08:46Reception?
08:46Yes, I was hoping we could pull this together for next month.
08:50What's the rush?
08:51Am I pregnant?
08:52Of course not.
08:53I just...
08:53Well, I just can't wait to be married to you.
08:55Are you sure?
08:56She seemed a little anxious.
08:58Yeah.
08:59What would I have to be anxious about?
09:06Again, sorry for the mix-up.
09:07If you could just sign right here.
09:09I don't remember this.
09:11You sure that's mine?
09:12It was on you the night you were admitted.
09:14I got hit by a car.
09:15I don't remember anything about that night.
09:18Well, it looks like you were going to propose to someone.
09:23Susan, be mine forever, Mike.
09:27Does that ring a bell?
09:33Sure does.
09:39Carlos.
09:39Hey, Carlos.
09:42Hi.
09:43I have a little visitor that I thought you might get a kick out of seeing.
09:47Remember my little boy?
09:48Hey, Travis.
09:50How you doing?
09:51Put it there.
09:52I'm Carlos Solis.
09:53I think you came by my house one time trick-or-treating.
09:55I remember.
09:56You gave me a protein bar.
09:59Right.
10:00Sorry.
10:01My wife forgot to buy candy.
10:04Hey.
10:05Is that football I hear?
10:06Go on.
10:06Check it out.
10:09I didn't know your son was coming for a visit.
10:11Neither did I.
10:17His father just dumped him here for four weeks.
10:20So he could jet off with his Doctors Without Borders buddies and fix cleft palates in Kenya.
10:25Son of a bitch.
10:27Come on.
10:27I mean, you barely even see him.
10:28It'll be fun.
10:29A chance to bond?
10:30Yeah, that's true.
10:31But, um, I have this major party tonight.
10:36And I was wondering if maybe you could just keep an eye on him for a few hours.
10:40Sorry, I can't deny.
10:41Oh, come on.
10:42You love kids.
10:43Didn't you rent that Chinese chick so that you could have one of your own?
10:46I have a date, too.
10:47With the chick so hot, I had to turn off the smoke alarms in my house.
10:51Fine.
10:53Travers, come on.
10:54Let's go.
10:57This isn't a child-friendly house.
11:03Bye, Travers.
11:15Wow, she's a locker.
11:16I'll say.
11:20Hey, what time's that fundraiser?
11:21You got an hour?
11:23Well, then, let's have a little fun.
11:39Look what you did!
11:40Don't yell at me.
11:41I'm just a passenger.
11:42Well, your driver's an idiot.
11:44Hey, it's not Clyde's fault.
11:45I mean, what man wouldn't be distracted by such beauty?
11:48Now you're hitting on me?
11:51I was talking about the car.
11:54Well, good.
11:55I'm glad you like it, because you're going to pay to fix this.
11:57Of course.
11:58Five thousand covered?
12:00Five.
12:02Well, sure, I guess.
12:04I'd rather not file an insurance claim.
12:06My opponent could find out and try to make me look bad.
12:08Opponent?
12:09Oh, well, I guess you don't read the papers.
12:11I'm running for mayor.
12:12My name's Victor Lang.
12:13And I hope I can count on your vote.
12:17I think I'd rather vote for the other guy.
12:19You know, the one who didn't wreck my car.
12:27You're off your game.
12:28You didn't even get a phone number.
12:30Oh, don't worry.
12:30I'll be seeing her again.
12:32How can you be so sure?
12:34I didn't sign the check.
12:47What the hell are you doing?
12:48We need to talk.
12:49No, we don't.
12:50Get out.
12:50Please, you won't return my call.
12:52Well, I've been busy.
12:53Plus, my mom caught you naked on top of my friend.
12:57Just read this.
12:59And if you still don't want to talk to me,
13:00then I'll never bother you again.
13:03Fine, I'll read it.
13:04But only if you get out of the car right now.
13:06Now, but the hot wax is starting.
13:08I know.
13:09Tick-tock.
13:10Yeah.
13:22You're still in there?
13:24How long does it take to pluck that unibrow?
13:26Leave me alone.
13:27Danielle, I have to be at work in ten minutes.
13:29Now, can I please just come in and brush my teeth?
13:31I'm having a really bad day, all right?
13:34Just go away.
13:36I'm going to have a really bad day, too.
13:37I tend not to get tipped when my breath stinks.
13:42I'm pregnant.
13:56Mike, what are you doing here?
13:58Oh, hey.
13:58Um, I'm just selling some old jewelry.
14:01I spoke to my manager.
14:03There's going to be a charge to remove the inscription,
14:05but, uh, we can refund you for the engagement ring.
14:08That'll be fine.
14:12Was that the ring that you bought for her?
14:14Yeah.
14:16Can I help you?
14:18Uh, yeah.
14:19I, uh, have to get this size.
14:21It's a little loose.
14:22Do you know your size?
14:23No.
14:26Congratulations, by the way.
14:28Ian seems great.
14:30Thanks.
14:32I can't find my sizer.
14:34Um, here.
14:36Try this one.
14:37Oh, no.
14:40How's that fit?
14:48It's perfect.
14:50Great.
14:56Can I have it back now?
14:59Oh.
14:59Oh, sorry.
15:13Hey, you've got a cousin in the limo business, don't you?
15:16Actually, I've got a cousin in the limo as a front for prostitution business.
15:20He's in jail.
15:21Why do you ask?
15:22Oh, I'm, uh, I'm just planning a big thing for my anniversary.
15:25Aren't you just going to go to Shea Boring like you do every year?
15:27No.
15:29Lynette's so over that, she was ready to bag the whole night, so it got me thinking.
15:34For nine years, time to shake things out.
15:37Now I'm planning the greatest anniversary of all time.
15:42Check this out.
15:44Lynette's going to open the door to find a limo driver with a dozen roses and a card.
15:48The card is going to tell her to go with the guy, not ask any questions.
15:53He'll drive her out to the country, he'll drop her off, then drive away.
15:58Just as she is starting to freak out, I show up in a horse-drawn carriage.
16:05Which takes us up to Whitman's Bluff, where we eat a catered dinner, listen to a professional
16:09violinist.
16:12Afterwards, when we come home, I'm sure Lynette will think of a way to thank me.
16:18You're one romantic son of a bitch.
16:21Oh, I have my moments.
16:24Of course, I'm not questioning Mayor Johnson's family values.
16:27I'm sure they're what prompted him to put his sister, his brother-in-law, and six of his
16:29cousins on the city payroll.
16:35Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to cut this interview short.
16:38I have some very important business to attend to.
16:41Miss Solis, what a nice surprise.
16:45Are you here to make a contribution to my campaign?
16:47Not exactly.
16:49Oh, no.
16:51Did I forget to...
16:52I'm so sorry.
16:55Let me make it up to you.
16:56I'll take you to dinner.
16:57My treat.
16:58It would be your treat.
16:59I'm a hot date.
17:00What's in it for me?
17:03Well, I have an ingratiating wit, trustworthy smile, according to the Plainview Herald.
17:09Yeah.
17:10Check, please.
17:14My family also owns Lang Enterprises.
17:18Dad's worth a few hundred mil.
17:24Well, the girl's got to eat.
17:28Great.
17:29I'll take us to Kuchina.
17:30There's no place harder to get into.
17:33That's what you think.
17:38Mike, this is completely unnecessary.
17:40My paying for your lawyer was a favor.
17:42It wasn't a loan.
17:43I appreciate it, but I just don't like to owe anybody.
17:46Well, I just don't want you to have any trouble getting back on your feet.
17:49No, it's fine.
17:50I had a windfall.
17:52The hospital gave me back an engagement ring I didn't even know I had.
17:55Oh, really?
17:55So you sold it.
17:57You should have kept it until the right girl comes along.
18:00Well, I couldn't give this ring to just anyone.
18:03All right.
18:04The inscription.
18:10How'd you know it was inscribed?
18:12Well, isn't that the custom?
18:13I just assumed it was.
18:18Well, listen.
18:19I've got to get some fresh rags.
18:20Thanks for the check.
18:21I'll see you around.
18:27Oh, you can count on it.
18:30Are you sure?
18:31Yes.
18:32I peed on five different sticks.
18:35Would you put that burrito away?
18:36It's making me nauseous.
18:38Join the club.
18:39Look, I know your parents are religious, but I know this clinic.
18:42Absolutely not.
18:43So what other choice do we have?
18:45Well, gee, you could, like, uh, marry me?
18:47Marry you?
18:48I can't stand you.
18:49Oh, nice way to talk to the mother of your child.
18:52Oh, God.
18:54Back room.
18:59Hey.
19:00Julie.
19:01Hi.
19:02Uh, hey.
19:03Your door was open.
19:04Can I come in?
19:05Uh, what are you doing here?
19:08I read your letter.
19:11I had no idea it would be so sweet.
19:14I could really tell it came from your heart.
19:18I'm embarrassed to admit I cried.
19:24My auntie sort of tied one on last night.
19:28Oh.
19:30Anyway, I guess what I'm saying is, okay.
19:35Okay.
19:36We can try again.
19:38Julie, that's great.
19:40And I want to talk about this, uh, but I just kind of need to take care of my aunt.
19:44Can I call you tomorrow?
19:45Sure.
19:47Oh.
19:48We're going to have to take things slow, because it'll be a while before I can trust you again.
19:53Whoa!
19:55I understand.
20:02Thank you, Bruno.
20:03The view was excellent.
20:04Feel like dessert?
20:05No, thank you.
20:06I'm stuffed.
20:07Then let me propose a toast to a delightful evening and to the happy accident that brought
20:12us together.
20:14Victor, you are so full of crap.
20:16What?
20:18There was no accident.
20:19I know you told your chauffeur to ram my car.
20:21Why would I do that?
20:23Uh, for the same reason you forgot to sign the check.
20:26You've been working me since the second we met, and I've been on to you every step of the way.
20:32What?
20:33What?
20:33What's so funny?
20:34I just called you a manipulative jerk.
20:36I think I underestimated you.
20:39I also think this relationship just got a lot more interesting.
20:42There is no relationship.
20:44This is our last date.
20:45You didn't have any fun.
20:47It was okay.
20:49You know, you told a few good jokes.
20:50You're sort of charming.
20:52You're not bad looking.
20:53I just think I can do better.
20:55Have you not noticed?
20:56I'm a catch.
20:57I have noticed, and I'm throwing your back.
21:02Gabby, let me tell you something.
21:03For my whole life, whenever I've truly wanted something, I've always gotten it.
21:10Tonight, right around the time you were calling me a manipulative jerk, I decided I truly want you.
21:18So brace yourself.
21:20The chase is on.
21:22You can chase me all you want, but trust me, I'm way too fast for you.
21:33Bruno?
21:36I'm going to marry that girl.
21:43Can I just say something?
21:44You are way hotter than your online profile.
21:45So many guys say that.
21:57That's who?
21:58Well, my friend's kid is out there.
22:04Hey, I got an idea.
22:06Let's go upstairs.
22:17I should warn you.
22:19My therapist says I'm sexually compulsive.
22:24This could take hours.
22:26Whatever your issues are, we will work them out together.
22:36It's almost 11.
22:37What is he doing out there by himself?
22:39I'm sure his folks know he's out there.
22:43Now relax.
22:55I'm so sorry.
22:56I will be right back.
22:56I promise.
23:01Hey, Travers, what are you doing out here?
23:02Where's your mom?
23:03She had to go visit a sick friend.
23:13No way.
23:14I didn't come over here to babysit some little brat.
23:16She can hear you.
23:17I don't care.
23:20Look, his mother is bound to be home soon, all right?
23:23Then we can pick up where we left off.
23:25Forget it.
23:27I'm officially no longer in the mood.
23:40Sorry, Rundjer D.
23:43That's okay.
23:45She was a very bad lady who wanted to do very, very bad things to me.
23:53Bye, Raul.
24:12Where the hell have you been?
24:13Oh, I, uh, ducked out just for an hour.
24:17That's funny, because I found Travers wandering the streets three hours ago.
24:20Look, he was fine when I left.
24:22I just didn't know he'd go outside.
24:24Yeah, you never know what an eight-year-old's going to do.
24:25That's why you supervise him.
24:28Hey, you don't get to judge me.
24:29You don't have a kid.
24:31Well, if I did, I'd treat him a hell of a lot better than you do.
24:35Thank God he lives with his father.
24:36I mean, come on.
24:36What kind of mother are you?
24:42If you are done lecturing me, I would like my son now.
24:46He's asleep.
24:48Come and get him in the morning.
24:50When you're sober.
25:03Hey, buddy.
25:05Your mom's here for you.
25:09I know you think I'm a terrible person.
25:11I never said that.
25:13Terrible mother, terrible person, it's the same thing.
25:17Because no matter what else she does,
25:21if a woman isn't a good mother, she's a failure, right?
25:29Look, um, when I had Travers, I, uh, I knew I was in over my head.
25:36And when Charles and I split, I...
25:39I gave him custody.
25:43Because I wanted my son to have the best life possible.
25:49And that doesn't make me a good mother, but...
25:52I like to think it makes me a realistic one.
25:59Hey, Mom.
26:01Hey, Chip.
26:03I missed you.
26:04Oh, I missed you, too.
26:07Guess what?
26:08I've got so many fun things for you to do today.
26:11Cool.
26:12Yeah.
26:12Thanks for the ice, Rina.
26:13My pleasure.
26:15I'll see you, little man.
26:17Hey.
26:19Driver said he's, uh, staying at least a month.
26:22Yeah.
26:24So if you ever need a babysitter, just yell.
26:29I appreciate that.
26:35Hey!
26:36Wait for me!
26:37No, I don't want a viola player.
26:39Ask for a violinist.
26:40I don't even know what a viola is.
26:43Oh, it's at the big violin?
26:45Okay.
26:46Yeah, sure.
26:47Okay, I'll see you at eight.
26:49What was that?
26:52It's just a little surprise, okay?
26:54Let it go.
26:55Let it go.
26:56That's cute.
26:58Start talking.
26:59I planned a little something for our anniversary.
27:03That is all I'm gonna say.
27:05Okay.
27:07Okay, okay.
27:08If we're doing this, I need to buy you something.
27:10What do you want?
27:11You don't have to buy me anything.
27:12Well, you didn't have to plan anything, but you did, even though we had an agreement.
27:16You like ties?
27:17You're getting a tie.
27:18What are you getting so upset about?
27:19I have been dragging my ass all day, and the only thought that's kept me going is the hot bath.
27:25And now I have to do my hair and shave my legs.
27:28So what do you want to do, Lynette?
27:29Just tell me what you want.
27:31I told you what I want.
27:33Hot bath, bed early.
27:35But you chose not to listen.
27:38Well, okay.
27:38I guess I can just cancel the whole thing.
27:40You can have your dream evening alone, and I'll get up a poker game or something.
27:46Hey, you know what?
27:48I've been dragging my ass all day, too, and you know what got me through it?
27:51The idea of doing something special with you.
27:56Happy anniversary.
28:04All right, I'm off to join your mother.
28:06The hotel number's on the fridge.
28:07In case there's a problem, Bree setter's cell phone isn't getting good reception.
28:10Uh, actually, we kind of already have a problem.
28:14Well, I'm already late for my flight.
28:16Can this wait a few weeks till we're back?
28:17Yeah.
28:18It's good.
28:19Wait a few weeks.
28:20Oh, good.
28:20I mean, heck, this particular problem could wait nine months.
28:28Good Lord.
28:31How's your bath?
28:32Oh, I couldn't relax.
28:33I just kept replaying the fight I had with Tom in my head.
28:37Well, at least your husband tries to be romantic.
28:40Every anniversary, Gilbert bought me an appliance.
28:42On the last one, he gave me a vacuum cleaner.
28:45He died two weeks later.
28:47I didn't cry.
28:49Wow.
28:52Who could that be?
28:57All right, here's what we're thinking.
28:59Clearly, the idea of the two of you getting married is ridiculous.
29:04So, what do you want me to do?
29:05Glad you asked.
29:08Bree and I have decided that Danielle will join us on our honeymoon.
29:12When we return, we'll tell our friends she's decided to study abroad.
29:15Once the baby is born and adopted by a suitable family, she'll come home.
29:23What about me?
29:24You leave.
29:25Leave?
29:26Get out of Fairview and don't tell a soul why.
29:29Not even your aunt.
29:30I can't do that.
29:31Why not?
29:31Because I've got responsibilities here.
29:33People are counting on me.
29:34Yeah, well, you should have thought of that before you impregnated my stepdaughter.
29:37I said I'm not leaving.
29:39Easy there, Turbo.
29:49So, who exactly is counting on you?
29:52Julie Meyer, maybe?
29:53She gave me another chance.
29:55I can't leave if I've still got a shot with her.
29:57And what's going to happen when Julie finds out you knocked up my sister?
30:00Didn't your stepdad just say no one's going to find out about that?
30:04Okay.
30:05Try this.
30:07Julie's a nice girl.
30:10And you...
30:10Well, you're a dog.
30:17No, Noc.
30:19I'm a dog lover myself.
30:22Julie deserves better.
30:24You know you'll just end up cheating on her.
30:27No, I won't hurt her again.
30:30Sure you will.
30:32Not right away.
30:34Maybe you'll hold out for six months.
30:37But then, it'll hurt her even more.
30:40Am I wrong?
30:44You just have to ask yourself if you can be the kind of guy she needs you to be.
30:49If you can't...
30:52walk away.
31:03Beer is on the house, guys.
31:05Drink fast.
31:06Get stupid.
31:08Lose money.
31:09Mike!
31:10Hey.
31:11Hey, buddy.
31:12Hey, you know Orson, right?
31:14Oh, yeah.
31:16Hey, neighbor.
31:16Hey, so let's get started, huh?
31:18Five card stud.
31:19Two dollar ante.
31:21Good evening, gentlemen.
31:22Ian!
31:24Hey.
31:25Ian.
31:26Nice to see you, Mike.
31:32What is Fish and Chips doing here?
31:35Susan asked me to include him.
31:36Said he always wanted to learn how to play poker.
31:38So we're going to give him some very expensive lessons.
31:41Be careful.
31:42He already knows how to bluff.
31:49Hey.
31:51Hey.
31:52How's it going?
31:53Good, good.
31:54Uh, just wanted to tell y'all I have to leave town for a while.
31:58Really?
31:59Is something wrong?
32:01No, no, no.
32:02It's just family stuff.
32:05I don't know exactly when I'll be back.
32:09Could be a while, though.
32:12I don't know exactly what you're going to do.
32:16Okay.
32:17I just want you to know that it means a lot that you were willing to give me a second
32:21chance.
32:24You're like the only person that's ever done that.
32:28Austin, what's going on?
32:31Nothing.
32:31Uh, it's just...
32:34I have to go.
32:38Goodbye, Julie.
32:42Austin.
33:05I'll raise you.
33:09Mmm, out.
33:12Another courageous move from Foldy Locks.
33:14All right.
33:15I'll call you.
33:18Flush, King High.
33:21Full house.
33:22Sevens and knaves.
33:23Jacks.
33:24We?
33:25Call them jacks.
33:26Boy, this is your lucky room.
33:29Yes, I heard about your engagement the other night.
33:31Congratulations.
33:32Yeah, about that, Ian.
33:35Was that, uh, proposal spontaneous?
33:38Or did you have it all planned?
33:39Oh, it was entirely planned.
33:41I thought it would be the ideal occasion.
33:43Wow.
33:43I thought it was planned.
33:44Why didn't you have a ring?
33:46Well, I thought Susan might like to choose the ring herself.
33:49Ante-up, boys.
33:50So why'd she pick a ring that was too big for her?
33:55How did you know that?
33:58Guys, guys, guys, guys.
33:59We came here to play cards.
34:00Why are we talking about jewelry?
34:01Sorry, Tom.
34:02But I just found out I bought a ring for Susan myself.
34:05It was in my pocket that night some son of a bitch ran me over.
34:09Tom's right.
34:10We should focus on the game.
34:12After our talk, I called the hospital.
34:15They said my ring got in with your wife's stuff.
34:18So you saw it before I did.
34:20The same day you proposed to Susan.
34:24And your point is?
34:26That that's why you were in such a big hurry.
34:28You wanted to seal the deal before I found out about the ring.
34:31And told her.
34:33Do you think I'm afraid of you?
34:35Maybe you should be.
34:37What do you think Susan would say
34:38if she found out why your proposal was so spontaneous?
34:42Guys, can we just play?
34:45I'm trying.
34:47Fine.
34:50Deal.
34:59Hello.
35:00This is Garbo.
35:01It's Lamar from the limo service.
35:03I got a flat, so it might be late picking up you and your wife.
35:06What are you talking about?
35:07I canceled you.
35:08No, you didn't.
35:09Yes, I did.
35:10I left you a message.
35:11Oh, I must have missed it.
35:13Anyway, I dropped your wife off right where you told me.
35:16Oh, God.
35:17When?
35:17About two hours ago.
35:25Guys, lock up when you're done.
35:31I'll open.
35:34I'll open.
35:34I'm out.
35:35And I'll raise you.
35:42You want a beer?
35:43Hell, Tom's gone.
35:44Let's go open up the good stuff.
35:49Well, looks like it's just you and me, if you're still in.
35:55With this end?
35:56You bet I am.
36:00I'll re-raise.
36:08And raise again.
36:13Your stack's looking kind of small.
36:24Will you take a check?
36:27You know I can't match that.
36:29How about this, then?
36:32You win, you keep the money, and you tell Susan whatever you want.
36:36I win, you keep your mouth shut about the ring, and you leave me and Susan alone.
36:53Deal.
37:07How was the game?
37:10I won.
37:12I won.
37:25Lynette, I am so sorry.
37:27I am so sorry.
37:29You see, there was supposed to be a horse-drawn carriage, and...
37:33Oh, good.
37:34You got the flowers.
37:48Coffee?
37:49Yes, please.
37:53Yeah, she likes coffee too, thanks.
37:58I'm really, really, really sorry.
38:00Please, stop apologizing.
38:02I'm sorry.
38:03I appreciate what you were trying to do.
38:04It was a lovely thought that just went hideously, hideously, hideously wrong.
38:10Wait till the kids find out that you saw a real coyote.
38:13Hideously.
38:18I learned my lesson.
38:20Never again.
38:21No more surprises.
38:22For now on, I'll do exactly what you say.
38:27Oh, don't you dare.
38:32What?
38:34I had a lot of time to think tonight, and I realized you were right.
38:39We have to keep the romance going, no matter how tired we are.
38:45The only thing worse than just going through the motions is not bothering to go through the motions.
38:53So you want me to surprise you next year?
38:57Knock yourself out.
38:59Just wait, because I will think of something even better.
39:02Well, after this year, I would be happy with any date that included food and shelter.
39:20Nine years.
39:26Nine years.
39:29And I have loved every minute of it.
39:33Me too.
39:43Take a drive down any street in suburbia.
39:46Know what you're going to see?
39:49A bunch of guys wearing the same expression.
39:53It's a look that says,
39:56Oh, crap.
39:57My dreams are never going to come true.
40:03I'll never have a life free from scandal.
40:08I'll never have a son of my own.
40:13I'll never hold her in my arms again.
40:19I'll never get to tell her how I feel.
40:25Yeah, the suburbs are filled with a lot of men who've given up hope.
40:31Of course, every once in a while, you do come across some lucky SOB whose dreams have all come true.
40:39You know how you spot them?
40:42They're the ones who can't stop smiling.
40:47Don't you just hate those guys?
40:49No.
41:03You know how you spot your eyes?
41:24Transcription by CastingWords
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