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Desperate Housewives S02E18
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00:01Previously on Desperate Housewives
00:02If Libby here likes us as much as we like her,
00:05we should just go ahead and move to adopt her baby girl.
00:07Who's the father?
00:08Honestly, I don't know.
00:09Carlos and Gabby made a deal.
00:11I did remarry my ex, but it was only because he has great health insurance.
00:15Susan made amends.
00:16You know, I never thought I'd have such a good time
00:18hanging out with my girlfriend and her husband.
00:20And Mike...
00:21Didn't she mention we dated?
00:22...made a confession.
00:24Liar!
00:24You've just been leading me on!
00:25You're obviously still in love with this guy!
00:27Of his own.
00:31On her first day of sobriety, Brie Vandekamp found an old cork,
00:35which reminded her just how much she craved Chablis.
00:40So she called her sponsor, who came over with a DVD
00:44which they watched till her craving had passed.
00:48Five days later, after she'd developed a thirst for Merlot,
00:52Peter arrived with a deck of cards.
00:54The next week, he brought over Chinese takeout
00:57because Brie had told him she was consumed by thoughts of vintage Chardonnay.
01:03By her 20th day of sobriety, Brie had stopped thinking about alcohol altogether
01:10because her thoughts were now centered elsewhere.
01:18I'm curious, Peter.
01:20What is the easiest way to overcome addiction?
01:23Well, some folks try shock therapy, others use hypnosis,
01:28but taking it one day at a time still makes the most sense to me.
01:31Why?
01:32I don't know.
01:33I guess I'm just impatient to get on with my life.
01:41What are you doing?
01:42I'm just giving you a little kiss.
01:45Why?
01:46Well, it's just my way of saying thank you
01:48for everything you've done for me over the past few weeks.
01:54What's wrong?
01:55This is gonna seem like it's coming out of left field,
01:57but in addition to being a recovering alcoholic,
02:00I'm also a member of SA.
02:05Sex addict synonymous.
02:10Oh.
02:11And that's a real thing?
02:13Yes.
02:14And sex is as much an addiction for me as booze.
02:17That's why when you turn me on like that, it's a bit of a problem.
02:20It's just a peck on the cheek.
02:21It doesn't matter.
02:22The slightest touch gets my juices flowing.
02:27So, how long has it been since you...
02:30A year.
02:32They have this rule, plant, pet, person.
02:35If I can keep a plant alive, you know, then I can move on to a pet.
02:39And if I can make that work, then I can start dating again.
02:43So how are you doing?
02:44I'm on my fourth ficus.
02:46No.
02:57See?
02:58I think you can handle affection better than you give yourself credit for.
03:16What?
03:17I'm sorry.
03:19Um, I think I should go.
03:21Really?
03:21Yeah.
03:22Peter, what?
03:23You forgot your shirt!
03:26Keep it!
03:29Though she didn't know it, Brie had answered her own question.
03:34The easiest way to overcome one addiction
03:38is to replace it with another.
03:50Temptation.
03:51It's the name of a well-known establishment on the outskirts of Fairview.
03:56Its clientele is devoted.
03:59Everyone who goes there wants to get their hands on something.
04:04And when they cross a line...
04:06Hey!
04:07I warned you, pal.
04:09...they are punished.
04:11As a certain married couple was about to discover.
04:15Hi.
04:17You want a lap dance?
04:21Uh...
04:22No, thanks, no.
04:27I sure hope Libby likes this camera.
04:30Well, why wouldn't she?
04:31It's exactly what she asked for.
04:33The most expensive one in the store.
04:35I'm telling you, Carlos, I'm getting really tired of kissing her ass.
04:38The woman is giving us her baby.
04:40We'll kiss whatever needs kissing.
04:43What the hell are you guys doing here?
04:46Uh, we brought you this gift, and you said that you didn't want us coming by your house.
04:50Thanks, but I'm working, so you gotta go.
04:53Look, we spent a lot of money on that.
04:55The least you can do is open it so we can bask in your happy expression.
04:59Is there a problem here?
05:00No, we're just talking, and everything's fine.
05:03Carlos Solis, my wife Gabrielle, we're friends of Libby's.
05:06Oh, hey, hey, I'm Frank, Libby's boyfriend.
05:10Hey, Libby, you didn't tell us you had a boyfriend.
05:14Didn't I? I thought I had.
05:16What's that? A present for our baby?
05:21I'm sorry, did you just say our baby?
05:24Yeah, it's our first.
05:30Hey!
05:31What's for lunch?
05:33Omlets. You want me to make you one?
05:35No, thank you. I'll just pick of yours.
05:37I didn't know you still had a key, Dad.
05:39Of course I do. I have to watch out for my two favorite ladies.
05:42Try the cheese, that's the best part.
05:45You mean two of your three favorite ladies.
05:49You know, when you add in Edie.
05:52Right, of course.
05:53Speaking of Edie, I have some big news.
05:56I finally did it.
05:58I popped the question.
06:00Congratulations, Dad.
06:01Yeah, congratulations.
06:04What happened to waiting six months?
06:06Edie and I aren't getting married tomorrow.
06:08It takes months to plan a classy wedding.
06:13Remember ours? You had to have it outdoors.
06:17It poured. I could have murdered that weatherman.
06:21We were all crammed under this little gazebo thingy.
06:24It was hysterical. I thought the whole wedding day was ruined.
06:26I loved it. I felt spontaneous.
06:29All our friends gathered close around us.
06:34I remember?
06:37You said it was the happiest day of your life.
06:44Just like you marrying Edie will be the happiest day of her life.
06:50Yeah, right.
06:52I heard you.
06:53Toodles.
07:01Oh, hi.
07:02Hello.
07:03Andrew said it was all right for me to get a cream soda.
07:07Ah, sure, help yourself. There's also frosted glasses in the freezer.
07:11Can is fine, but thank you.
07:13Oh, and I left a list for you of the witnesses we'll be deposing.
07:17It's there on the counter.
07:32Hi.
07:33Hey.
07:37I know that you're still angry with me, and, um,
07:41I wanted to tell you that I have, um,
07:46joined a recovery program.
07:48AA.
07:50I just wanted you to know that.
07:54And to tell you I'm sorry.
07:56You are a real friend, and I value your honesty.
08:03Oh, I don't want to be mad anymore.
08:06And I'm so happy to hear all that, and I am so proud of you.
08:10Oh, thanks, but I'm not really out of the woods yet.
08:12I still have this whole court case hanging over my head.
08:15I heard about that. Andrew's asking to be emancipated?
08:18Yes, and his lawyer is taking depositions now
08:21to see if I am a fit parent.
08:23I am.
08:24Considering that mishap that I had with your kids,
08:27I, uh, I imagine he'll be anxious to talk to you.
08:30That makes sense, I guess.
08:32Yeah.
08:34Do you have any idea what you might say?
08:40I, um...
08:44I'll focus on your good qualities.
08:49I could not ask for anything more.
08:53Thanks.
08:53See you around, I hope.
08:56That's not why you came to apologize, is it?
09:00What do you mean?
09:02To soften me up for the deposition?
09:06Of course not.
09:11Um...
09:13I just want you to understand something.
09:16Andrew is making accusations.
09:20False accusations, saying that I abused him.
09:23All because I wouldn't let him have his trust fund early
09:26so he could buy a car.
09:28I mean, can you blame me for wanting to know if I have your support?
09:34And...
09:35So...
09:36What?
09:37You want me to lie?
09:39Make you look good?
09:43I actually don't want anything of the sort.
09:47Good.
09:49Because when I give my deposition, I'm going to tell the truth.
10:11To what do I owe this pleasure?
10:12I want you to look at something.
10:20Myra Holt is talking to Paul Young.
10:23Chatting away with him as though he were any other neighbor.
10:25Now, I told her he killed my sister.
10:27I mentioned it to her six months ago when we were standing at the express line at the market.
10:31But still, there she is, yucking away.
10:35Oh, Mike.
10:37I'm afraid people's memories aren't what they used to be.
10:40What do you want, Felicia?
10:42I want to see how good your memory is.
10:45If you recall a certain promise you made to me.
10:48I am not going to kill him.
10:50Why not? Give me one good reason.
10:51Because things have changed.
10:53How?
10:53My sister still lies rotting in the ground.
10:56So does Deirdre.
10:56Now, I don't see how anything's changed at all.
10:59You're just going to have to let this go.
11:01Sounds to me as though someone's let go of his rage.
11:05Maybe I have.
11:07Well, I haven't.
11:13That bitch of a stripper lied to us.
11:15The father's totally in the dark.
11:17He clearly wants to keep the baby.
11:18Mr. Solis.
11:20If the father wants to assert his rights here, there's nothing we can do.
11:24I'll find you another baby. I promise.
11:26I don't want another baby. I want this one.
11:28Honey, he's right, okay?
11:30That trashy girl's been lying to us from the get-go.
11:32Let's just walk away while we can. It's not worth it.
11:34Don't get cold feet now, Gabby. Please.
11:37Alright? Let's just pay Frank the way we paid Libby and then bring the baby home.
11:41Wait, wait, wait. You paid Libby?
11:43He said we could give her gifts. Everybody loves getting cash.
11:49I could probably be disbarred for even listening to this.
11:52I cannot condone baby buying.
11:55And I sure as hell can't be part of it.
11:57Oh, Mr. Beal, come on.
11:58No, no. Hear me out.
12:00If you are determined to go down this dark road and unbeknownst to me steal this
12:05paternal rights waiver that's sitting on my desk and have this Frank guy sign both sides and date the top,
12:11I can't be part of that either.
12:16Hmm.
12:21Okay, I'm gonna go to Dad's.
12:23Oh, wait. Why don't you let me walk with you?
12:25Uh, shouldn't you be resting?
12:27No, I'm fine. The doctor said I should actually keep my blood flowing.
12:31Well, do you have to do it while we walk over to Edie's?
12:34I just, I don't want to risk you running into Dad.
12:38Okay.
12:39You guys have just been so chummy lately and this whole flirting thing is kind of freaking me out.
12:44Wait, wait a second. We're not flirting.
12:48Mom, you fed him eggs with your fork.
12:51Okay, yes. I am closer to your father than I have been in the past.
12:55The bitter hatred's now settled into a respectful disgust.
13:00That's the kind of thing most children of divorce dream about.
13:08Hey, Edie. What's all this stuff for?
13:10Oh, hi.
13:12Don't tell anyone, but I'm planning a huge surprise for Carl.
13:15A surprise?
13:16Yeah, I'm putting together an engagement party tomorrow afternoon.
13:19Oh, cool.
13:20But that's not the surprise.
13:23Actually, it's gonna be a surprise wedding.
13:28I know, my Pilates teacher got ordained over the internet.
13:32The, uh, Church of the Divine something or other.
13:35Not sure.
13:36Anyway, it's all legal and, well, just one more day before I make an honest man out of your daddy.
13:47Oh, you're so sweet. Thank you so much for your good wishes.
13:54Oh, uh, no, Edie, wait. Um, no, it's just that, uh, you know, I was married to Carl and I
13:59used to try to surprise him and he would always, always, always say,
14:05No, Susan, don't surprise me. I don't like it.
14:10Whatever. I'm doing it, so keep your trap shut.
14:13And if you'll excuse me, I've gotta go and buy a wedding dress.
14:17Oh, and by the way, I'll be wearing white, so that'll be a surprise for everybody.
14:28I don't know why I have to get dragged into this.
14:31What happened with my kids has nothing to do with Brie's situation with Andrews.
14:37Well, it's my understanding that real harm could have come to your children as a direct result of your friend's
14:43behavior.
14:43I'm sorry, Mr. Bromanis, but I'm not gonna testify. It just doesn't feel right to me.
14:48Well, this isn't the first time someone's felt the way you do.
14:53So, this isn't the first time I've had to say that if you refuse to give a deposition of your
14:58own accord, I'll compel you to give one.
15:05But I'm sure I won't have to.
15:15You're saying Brie did this?
15:18Well, under the influence.
15:21I understand your reluctance to turn on a friend, but this isn't about you.
15:27It's about Andrew.
15:29Don't you think he's suffered enough?
15:44How much are you gonna give him?
15:46I figured we could start with 40.
15:48Thousand?
15:49He's a bouncer in a strip club. Offer him eight.
15:52He's not going to sell his baby for $8,000.
15:56Are we talking about the same idiot?
15:58I think for $8,000 you throw in a kidney.
16:00I'm not gonna blow this by bargain hunting.
16:02That's your problem, Carlos. Remember when you bought your car, you paid sticker. Nobody pays sticker.
16:06Okay, and what's the sticker price on a child, huh? Tell me that.
16:09I'm thinking 12.
16:14Frank, you have to sign the paper. I made a deal with these people.
16:18A deal? This isn't a used car we're talking about. It's our baby.
16:22Before you screw this up, just remember that I can go to the cops and tell them about the pot
16:26farm you have going on in our basement.
16:31It's just a couple plants.
16:33You know, I don't do it for profit. It's a hobby, mostly.
16:37Oh, come on, Frank. You know you would be a lousy father.
16:40It's my kid, and I have a right to mess her up if I want.
16:43And if you go near the police, I'll tell them how you've been stealing all those tips from Sheila.
16:48Okay, we're done.
16:50Gabby, Gabby, now just hold on. Now, maybe there's a way that we can work this out together.
16:57There's nothing to work out. If Frank is not on board with this, it's over.
17:01Wait, uh, it doesn't matter what he wants.
17:05Why not?
17:07Because it's not your baby.
17:11That's a lie.
17:12What if I take a paternity test? Will that shut you up?
17:15Wait, if it's not Frank's, then whose is it?
17:18I'm not sure. All I know is I got pregnant right after I worked at the Calgary Rodeo, and I
17:25was very popular there.
17:27So what are you saying? You screwed a bunch of cowboys?
17:31You have your hobbies, and I have mine.
17:39You think this is funny?
17:41Oh, don't you get it?
17:44We just got our baby back.
17:50Oh.
17:57Well, you take care now.
18:01Yeah.
18:05Hi.
18:07I got, uh, your message that you wanted to see me before the meeting started.
18:12Yeah, I did. Um, there's someone I'd like to introduce you to.
18:18Brie, this is Donna.
18:21Donna, this is Brie. What's up?
18:23Hi.
18:24Donna is gonna be your new sponsor.
18:27I, um, I don't want a new sponsor. I'm, I'm very comfortable working with you.
18:35This was always just a temporary arrangement, and given what happened the other night, I think it's best if we
18:42just end this now.
18:43Peter, all we did was kiss.
18:49We'd be kidding ourselves if we didn't think that whatever's between us isn't gonna affect our recovery.
18:56It's not a good time for change in my life, Peter.
18:59Terrible things are happening. I'm headed to court.
19:03I need your support now more than ever.
19:06You'll have support, Brie.
19:08It just won't be mine.
19:10But, Peter...
19:15Oh, Brie could never have done that.
19:17I'm just telling you what the lawyer said.
19:19So you think Brie punched Andrew in the face?
19:22Cause I don't.
19:23I don't either, but on the other hand, she spanked my kids, she lied about her drinking, and I once
19:30saw her bitch slap her mother-in-law.
19:32So I'm torn.
19:34Well, I'm siding with Brie.
19:36How can you be so sure?
19:40We have Andrew saying that it's systematic physical abuse.
19:44And then we have Brie saying it's Andrew wanting to be emancipated so he can get it as a trust
19:49fund, so he can buy a car.
19:50How are we supposed to know the real truth?
19:52Because I remember being 17.
19:55And I would have done a hell of a lot more than punch myself in the eye to get a
19:58car.
20:05Carl!
20:07Carl, stop, stop!
20:10Oh, it's an emergency.
20:11Just calm down. What's going on?
20:13Edie is gonna marry you tomorrow.
20:15What?
20:16She's planned this whole secret wedding. It's a surprise.
20:20God, I hate surprises.
20:22I know. I told her that. I said, he always, always hates surprises.
20:26All right, don't get yourself all worked up here.
20:29Put our heads together and we'll come up with something.
20:32So, the thing you gotta know about me is my style is proactive.
20:36I don't hold your hand if you go on a bender.
20:39I believe in behavior modification.
20:41Hmm. Some muffins?
20:43Oh, that's okay. I'm not big on snacks.
20:47You should also know, I'm not a lesbian.
20:52Oh.
20:54Well, good for you.
20:55Well, see, if I was, the program wouldn't let me be your sponsor.
21:00Not great for your recovery if we get tangled up in a little something.
21:04So, um, whatever vibe you might be getting, that's all on you.
21:10Um, Donna.
21:14I, I really appreciate everything that you've been doing for me.
21:19But I think I was really making some progress with Peter as my sponsor.
21:23And I was thinking...
21:24All right, stop. Right there.
21:26You're fixating on Peter.
21:28Well, I just really feel like I'm jeopardizing my recovery by switching.
21:31You're making excuses?
21:33See, I have a 99% success rate as a sponsor because I have 0% tolerance for people who
21:40lie to themselves.
21:42Now, come on.
21:43Come on? Where are we going?
21:46Hiking.
21:46There's nothing like it to take your mind off booze.
21:52I got it.
21:53I'll just be the woman.
21:54I'll say I want a big wedding.
21:56You know, the church, the big ballroom, smushing cake in her face.
22:00It'll take months to plan.
22:01That's great.
22:02Of course, I'll have to tell her you're the one who ruined the surprise.
22:05You're gonna make me take the hit?
22:07Yeah.
22:10Hey, guys.
22:11What you doing out here?
22:12Uh, just talking.
22:15Oh, well, come on in.
22:17I've got something to show you.
22:18Oh, no.
22:18That's okay.
22:19Come on.
22:20You'll love this.
22:27Wait until I leave to tell her because she's gonna kill me.
22:35Well, I should go.
22:38I'm not gonna scream or cry or pound your faces in with a mallet, which Lord knows is my right.
22:45But what I will say is that you two are the most reprehensible excuses for human beings that I have
22:51ever met.
22:53Do you have anything to add?
22:58What?
23:01Right.
23:03What the hell?
23:07Get up!
23:08Yes!
23:35Hey, Mrs. Cabo.
23:37It's a sweet ride.
23:39Yeah?
23:40You think so?
23:42Why don't you come over here for a second?
23:44I'd like to pick your brain.
23:50You're the demographic that my client is interested in, so you'd actually be doing me a favor if you drove
23:55it around for a couple hours and tell me what you thought.
23:58Do you mind?
24:00Are you kidding me?
24:02I can't believe you are old enough to drive.
24:05I still remember when you were ten years old.
24:07I paid you a dollar to rake our leaves.
24:09Yeah.
24:11Yeah, you were pretty cheap.
24:15Is this set up for MP3?
24:17Uh, all the bells and whistles.
24:20Listen.
24:21I really wanted to tell you how sorry I am.
24:25Hmm?
24:28Your lawyer came to see me.
24:30I'm going to be deposed.
24:34It's going to be hard for me.
24:37Yeah.
24:38Yeah.
24:39I know.
24:41You just have to remember, she's a different person when she drinks.
24:46She must be.
24:48It's hard for me to imagine the brie I know capable of hurting you.
24:53Yeah.
24:55Do you have the keys?
24:56Oh, sure.
24:59Anyway, I just...
25:01I feel so guilty that this all went on in your house.
25:04Right under our nose.
25:06So if there is anything I can do to help you...
25:10Well, can you get a discount on these?
25:16Um...
25:17Actually, yeah.
25:18One of the perks.
25:20Even so, it's a little out of the price range of a high school student.
25:24Well, if you tell my lawyer the truth, I don't think money's going to be a problem.
25:30Ugh.
25:34Hi.
25:35What's going on?
25:41Edie wants to discuss our little deception.
25:46Exactly how ugly is this going to get?
25:48How long does it take to shut a door?
25:52I can forgive your trickery.
25:55I can forgive the humiliation.
25:58But what I can't forgive is the complete and utter lack of faith in me.
26:03I mean, having Susan get married for insurance was my idea.
26:06Okay, so if I'd known that everything had gotten all screwed up, of course I would have agreed.
26:11Look, Edie.
26:12In retrospect, yes, we didn't think.
26:16We didn't handle this the way mature adults should have.
26:20He's right.
26:21We behave like children.
26:23Naughty, stupid children.
26:25Well, that makes me feel better.
26:27That you could admit that.
26:31Because when naughty children misbehave, they know that they're going to get punished.
26:36Don't they?
26:40Punished?
26:42Hmm.
26:43At this point, I'd like to point out that, uh, it was Carl who proposed.
26:47Carl.
26:49You are going to throw me an elaborate wedding.
26:53Yes, of course.
26:55Anything, baby.
26:58How elaborate?
27:00Well, figure out exactly what it is that you could afford.
27:04And triple it.
27:07As for you...
27:08Okay, now remember, I'm broke.
27:11I'm well aware of your church malstatus.
27:14I don't intend to lift a finger during the planning and execution of this crushingly expensive wedding.
27:23No. No, of course not.
27:25And anything I can do to help.
27:28Uh, you know, I could help with the engagement party. How's that?
27:32Well, I wasn't planning on inviting you.
27:36But...
27:37I will need a bartender.
27:40Oh, oh, and, um, make sure you come in through the back door.
27:55You're just in time.
27:57Mrs. Scavo has been sworn in, so we're all ready to start.
28:02All right.
28:11All right. We are now on the record.
28:14Okay.
28:16Isn't it true that while your children were in Bree's care, that she passed out drunk and allowed them to
28:21wander off to a downtown business district?
28:29My kids don't wander. They scurry like rats.
28:34Excuse me?
28:35Do you know a rat can fit through a hole the size of a quarter?
28:39Anyway, my children have that trick down, too.
28:42Mrs. Scavo, are you saying that you don't hold Mrs. Vandekamp responsible for endangering your children?
28:47No. I don't hold her responsible.
28:50Bree Vandekamp and I have known each other a long time.
28:54I trust her completely.
28:55She's a wonderful friend and a fantastic mother.
28:58She puts the rest of us to shame.
29:00She's lying!
29:01Are you gonna let her get away with this crap?
29:03Please.
29:06Do you consider Mrs. Vandekamp to have a drinking problem?
29:11No.
29:13Then why did you line empty wine bottles up on her front stoop?
29:17I was helping Bree with her recycling.
29:21Do I need to remind you of the potential consequences of perjury?
29:25No, you don't. In fact, I hate liars.
29:53I don't know, but why do you need to take a drink?
29:55Peter, hi. It's Bree.
29:58Hey, Bree. You know, if you feel like you're gonna need a drink, you should call Donna.
30:04No. No. I don't feel like I'm gonna drink.
30:07And if I did, I certainly would call Donna.
30:09I mean, she and I are just, we're just really clicking.
30:12Oh, that's good.
30:14So, why are you calling?
30:16I know it's really late notice, but a friend of mine got engaged,
30:19and she's throwing a party, and I thought maybe you'd like to come.
30:22Brie.
30:23Well, you're not my sponsor anymore, so I assume this is allowable.
30:27I mean, it's just a casual get-together.
30:29And they're having sushi. You do like sushi, don't you?
30:33Brie.
30:39Okay, Peter, I just really need us to be friends.
30:44When I'm with you, I'm not myself, which is a good thing.
30:47I can relax when I'm with you in a way that I can't when I'm with other people.
30:55With them, I have to pretend that I have it all together, but...
31:00You know that I don't, so it's just so much easier.
31:04Come on, it's just a dumb old party.
31:08Brie, do not call me again.
31:20Oh, I'm so glad you made it.
31:22Well, I appreciate the invitation, Edie.
31:24Although, frankly, I'm a little surprised to get it,
31:26considering how people in this neighborhood feel about me.
31:29Oh, you know me. I like to be inclusive.
31:33Ooh, it's heavy.
31:36Uh, uh-uh, this is flat.
31:39I think I'd like, um, a rusty nail.
31:43A what nail?
31:44It's a cocktail.
31:45Well, I'm not really sure what's in it,
31:47but it sounds obscure and complicated.
31:50So, chop, chop.
31:51Hey, be right there.
31:53Hey, hey, put that down.
31:55We gotta go.
31:56Our birth mother just went into labor.
31:58What?
31:59That's fantastic!
32:00Yeah, can you believe it?
32:00We're gonna be parents.
32:01Here, I'll go get the car.
32:03Come on.
32:04Okay, we're supposed to have four weeks.
32:06She promised me the baby wasn't due for four more weeks.
32:09We don't have anything.
32:10We don't have diapers,
32:12and we don't have the stuffed babies drink.
32:15Formula.
32:15Exactly. We're not ready.
32:17You know, this is a total inconvenience.
32:20Welcome to parenthood. Come on.
32:23This is your father's bartender Bible.
32:25See if you can find the recipe for a rusty nail.
32:28Okay.
32:33Um, Mom?
32:37Where'd you find that?
32:39It was stuck in here between a pink squirrel and a pisco sour.
32:44Oh.
32:46Well, why is your father keeping this?
32:50Why do you think?
33:00Hey, Susie.
33:02Carl, this marriage, our marriage, this fake marriage, that's what it is, right?
33:06Fake.
33:07What are you talking about?
33:09What's this?
33:12Nothing.
33:13Yeah.
33:16Okay, then.
33:18Repeat after me.
33:20Our marriage is fake,
33:21and I'm going to marry the woman I really love, Edie Britt.
33:26If that's what you want me to say.
33:28No, no, no, no, no, no.
33:29It's not about what I want you to say.
33:31You have to want to say that you want to marry Edie.
33:36Don't worry about this, Susie.
33:38Why are you hanging on to that?
33:40I need to look at it from time to time.
33:43Why?
33:48Consider it my punishment.
33:51For screwing up the best thing that ever happened to me.
33:57Oh.
33:59Oh, no, no, no.
34:00This is not happening.
34:04Oh, Carl.
34:06Are you crazy?
34:08Just tell me what to do, Susie.
34:10You want me to marry Edie, I will.
34:11You want me to call off the wedding, I'll do it.
34:13I'll do whatever you want.
34:14I'm putty.
34:16Carl!
34:17What?
34:21What are you doing?
34:22Just putting away some coats.
34:26Oh.
34:27Well, it's time to open my presents.
34:30Let's go.
34:47Oh, hello.
34:49Hi.
34:50Hi.
34:50Um, I need some advice from a professional.
34:53I'd like to get stinking drunk.
34:55Do you have anything that can accomplish that in a hurry?
35:04I forgot the Lamaze book in my purse.
35:06Forget it.
35:06Come on, let's go.
35:07We'll wing it.
35:11Oh, we missed it.
35:13The kid just slipped right out.
35:16Are you family?
35:22They're the parents.
35:31Would you like to help?
35:34No, thanks.
35:35You guys look like you got it covered.
35:38Oh, are you sure, honey?
35:41Come on, Gabby.
35:43I just, um, I don't want to do anything to screw it up.
35:47She won't break.
35:49Here.
35:51Okay.
35:56Hi.
35:58Hi.
35:59Hi.
36:00Hi.
36:01Hi.
36:03Hi.
36:03Hi.
36:04Hi.
36:05Hi.
36:05Hi.
36:05Oh, honey, you were right.
36:08About what?
36:13It was all worth it.
36:26Serving bowls.
36:27Just what I needed, Lynette.
36:29There's a gift receipt taped to the bottom of the box.
36:32Oh, thank God.
36:35Okay, the next one is from Felicia.
36:39I do hope you like it.
36:40Oh, you know what they say.
36:43Good things come in small packages.
36:51What is it?
36:56Teeth?
36:57Dentures.
37:00They were my dear sister Martha's.
37:03I'm sure none of you knew, but she had orthodontic issues from the time she was a child.
37:09Oh.
37:14I know it's an unconventional gift for an engagement party, but you and Martha were such close friends, Edie.
37:20I wanted you to have something truly personal to remember her by, since she left us so abruptly.
37:27You know, when Paul Young strangled her, crushed her windpipe, and buried her alive next to a garbage-strewn hiking
37:34trail.
37:35Felicia.
37:36I think you've had enough.
37:39I do apologize if I've offended anyone, but while you all are chit-chatting and eating these gummy hors d
37:48'oeuvres,
37:48just remember, you're in the company of a murderer.
37:52I love you.
37:52I love you.
37:54I love you.
37:56I love you.
37:59Stop it.
38:01Drink�.
38:16I love you.
38:20I love you.
38:32Brie. Brie.
38:40Why didn't you call Donna?
38:45I don't need Donna.
38:48I need you.
39:07You know, I don't even like redheads.
39:14Okay, it's my turn.
39:15Shh, in a minute.
39:18Come on, you're hogging her.
39:21Tell me.
39:22Just tell me who it is, Libby.
39:24Are you drunk?
39:26Who is it, Libby?
39:28I got to know him.
39:30I already told you, he's just some rodeo guy.
39:33I don't even remember his name.
39:34Fire!
39:36What are you doing?
39:37I'm going to light myself on fire.
39:40He's going to light himself on fire with coffee liqueur?
39:44Would not have been my choice.
39:45Tell me his name, or I'm going to do it!
39:49Frank, don't be an idiot.
39:52It was Dale, okay?
39:53It was Dale.
39:56My brother, Dale?
39:58He's a kid.
40:00He's 19, Frank.
40:01He knows which end is up.
40:03What is she saying?
40:07There's a father.
40:08Hey, hey!
40:10Hey, what are you doing?
40:11Get up, though!
40:13No.
40:14I'm not giving up the baby.
40:16I'm cinematic, girl.
40:18No!
40:19No!
40:22What the hell are you doing?
40:24Taking our baby home.
40:25She's not ours.
40:26The papers aren't valid anymore.
40:28She has a father.
40:29Do you really want to leave this beautiful little girl with that white trash freak show?
40:34Huh?
40:35Come on, then.
40:53Hurry up!
40:55Hurry up!
40:58Man, there's a lot of straps on this thing.
41:00How does this thing go in?
41:02Read the instructions.
41:04Pass strap A through strap B, making sure that the harness clip is at chest level.
41:08Which damn one is the harness clip?
41:10That is after the baby is in.
41:12You have to connect it to the car first.
41:13I told you we should have got an SUV.
41:15Okay, stop yelling.
41:16This is very complicated.
41:17Oh, for God's sakes.
41:18Just take the baby.
41:25Wow.
41:26We're good to go.
41:27Give me the baby.
41:33You know this isn't going to end well.
41:35You know?
41:35They're just going to try and take her back.
41:38Baby.
41:39But we don't have to make it easy for them.
41:42Gabby, I...
41:43Just buckle up.
41:55Temptation comes to all of us.
41:58Whether or not we succumb depends on our ability to recognize its disguise.
42:05Sometimes it arrives in the form of an old flame, flickering back to life.
42:13Or a new friend who could end up being so much more.
42:22Or a young child who awakens feelings we didn't know we had.
42:31And so, we give in to temptation.
42:35All the while knowing, come morning, we'll have to suffer the consequences.
43:10All the while knowing, come morning, we'll have to suffer the consequences.
43:13And so, we'll have to suffer later in the form of an ou mercury.
43:28Acry dying is so rough to relax.
43:29I'llopa gutten him.
43:29Don Song Miya, comment andæ°” PangÆ°Æ¡ng.
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