She Lived in Fear of Her Family Behind Closed Doors

Unfiltered Stories

JoJo Dries courageously opens up about the abuse she endured behind closed doors, living in constant fear of her family. From physical abuse to the trauma of sexual assault, JoJo's story is a powerful testimony of survival and resilience. In this intimate conversation, JoJo shares how her family’s controlling behavior shaped her life and how she found the strength to reclaim her voice. Her journey is an inspiration to others who may be facing similar struggles, showing that healing is possible even in the darkest moments.   #survivalstory #truecrime   Thank you for watching Unfiltered Stories! We offer a platform for our guests to speak openly about their life stories and journeys, shedding light on the challenges they faced and the resilience they've shown.   Our mission is to raise awareness about survivors by delving into their stories, exploring the impact of their experiences, and how they've managed to heal and rebuild their lives.  By sharing these stories, we aim to break the silence surrounding those challenging memories and create a compassionate environment.   🌅 FOLLOW US 🌅  Facebook ➮ https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredFB  Tiktok ➮ https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredTT  Snapchat ➮ https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredSN

Transcript

00:00so this one gets me really emotional you feel abandoned when you're being you feel like you're

00:04alone my name is jojo dries and today we're going to talk about my story how i came out

00:14of being a victim of domestic violence

00:22the first time i can remember being was at age nine so i am one of six children this type

00:29of

00:29happened to all of us so the physical the emotional the control was on each child the first time i

00:37remember being was at age nine i had been yelled at and thrown into my room and told i could

00:43not

00:43get out until i agreed with what it was that i was being corrected on an abuser wants to brainwash

00:51you

00:51into thinking if you have any other opinion than theirs you are wrong i had to stay in my room

00:57to

00:57agree with my abuser i hear this person creeping down the hall and all of a sudden my door opens

01:04and it's my dad his beady eyes are just staring at me with anger right this anger that he had

01:11earlier

01:12had not gone away he came in my bedroom took his clothes off came in laid down next to me

01:18his naked

01:19body was on mine and i'll never forget not understanding what was happening all of a sudden

01:25he finished didn't know what had happened i was all sticky but i looked over at him he was smiling

01:31and

01:31so in that moment it went from anger earlier in the day to i had made him happy and so

01:38from then on

01:39anytime this happened i thought finally something i'm doing that makes him happy that's he's no longer

01:46angry so in that moment that's what was taught to me he left the room i fell to sleep and

01:51every time

01:52there after that that happened sad to say but i accepted it as being something normal because

01:58suddenly the my dad was not angry with me anymore

02:07we were a family that was not just ethnic so i come from a beautiful line of lebanese

02:15palestinian americans now the culture itself is beautiful however there's something about it it's

02:22very patriarchal and so we came from this culture of the patriarch said and did everything and you

02:29just followed suit that mantle was then passed down to my brother so i have an older brother who's

02:35two years older than in our mid-teens that mantle was immediately passed down to him and all of a

02:41sudden my older brother had the same autonomy and authority as my dad did and so that's when the

02:46started with him as well that was very physical my brother was never to me but it was complete

02:52control i could not do anything without him i could not go anywhere without him or my dad they

02:57controlled my every move and my every word now culturally a lot of times that that doesn't go to

03:04that point so i don't want to just condemn the whole culture but it was very natural then on top

03:09of

03:10that there became this very fundamentalist christian influence so again not to blanket the whole

03:16christian religion with this type of but when you go to the far corners of that religious sort of

03:23aspect you know think the duggars right so they did this whole show on that whole cult that's the

03:30cult that we came out of so it became very controlling both from a cultural aspect as well as a

03:36religious aspect we were homeschooled home church and we had a home business and so everything was in

03:42the home and then we began to follow these cult leaders so my dad as a abuser himself gravitated

03:49towards leadership models that were very cultish and very controlling so whether that was in religion

03:55or business we began to always affiliate with those types of cultures we started with an air duct

04:00cleaning business so at age 15 we started cleaning people's air ducts and we became the largest air

04:07duct cleaning company in the state of michigan then after a couple of years of that where we started to

04:12experience some financial freedom so imagine you're growing up you have no like finances right my house

04:19was foreclosed on as a child we are living in this house it was it's it's this beautiful home and

04:25then all

04:26of a sudden we're in this meeting i can remember this super distinctly talk about it in my book where

04:31all of a sudden we're in this real estate office and the keys are literally being taken of my home

04:36from my dad and my mom and given to the landlord and it was because my dad never really worked

04:43at anus

04:43life throughout the years you know couldn't rub two pennies together then air duct cleaning company

04:48happens we start making a lot of money with the air duct cleaning business and then after that we create

04:53a mortgage company i became a loan processor at age 17 and a half and my brother became a loan

04:59officer

05:00now the business is still happening right so throughout all the years if you disagree with him

05:05you're getting beat up if you say something wrong in public you're getting beat up when you come back

05:09home we get dressed up on a on a sunday go to church but then behind closed doors when we

05:14walk back in

05:15you're getting beat up or it was this convergence of me thinking to myself this is not normal so i

05:22think it's

05:22important for people to understand that there is a victim mentality and then there's a mentality of

05:27a survivor and so i saw myself always as a survivor my mom sadly saw herself as a victim of

05:34the so she

05:35never went out and sought help she never went out outside of the controlling environment she never went

05:41out and said there's something going on in my home i need to protect my children whereas i have the

05:47survivor mentality of this is not okay behavior we are not okay with this and how do we get out

05:53the continued on the road my dad locked me out of hotel rooms my brother locked me out of hotel

05:59rooms

06:00i would be sitting crying and not able to sleep because i was locked out of our suite because i

06:04said

06:05something wrong during those travels you know my life was threatened on more than one occasion that if

06:10i were to leave i would be as good as debt you know because they would find a way and

06:14so the more i

06:15expanded the horizons and that's what i think is super important for the public to understand

06:20is that when you're being sheltered everything sounds like it's never going to be fixed so part of

06:26the important resources that we need to provide survivors in this world and in this country is

06:32showing them what's outside of that abusive law to continue till i was in my mid-20s was probably the

06:38last time that i consciously remember and i've worked through a lot of therapy to get to that point but

06:43in my

06:44mid-20s it stopped did my younger siblings get a lot of people ask um i do believe that was

06:52with my

06:53sisters as well and again to the point of a survivor versus a victim my sisters used the abusive

07:00environment to their advantage so we had lots of family businesses they used it to excel in the family

07:06businesses i was the loud mouth right so a lot of survivors versus victims speak their mind during the

07:13abuse and so they get it worse so i was told you bring out the worst in him no i'm

07:19not bringing out

07:19the worst in him that's who he is and that's who i am i'm going to speak my mind and

07:25so throughout the

07:26years uh again physical mental uh emotional so there's a couple of really great key stories that

07:40that i will never forget we were homeschooled but there was a portion of our life where we went to

07:44public school private school there was three years that we did all that so i was coming home from school

07:49there were four of us riding bikes and this kid was being funny and doing like a wheelie and i

07:55fell

07:56obviously the kids and i are hobbling home they helped me back to the house and my dad walks out

08:01of the house and starts screaming at me did you ruin your bike why do you have scratches all over

08:07you

08:08who are these children pushes me in front of the other three children pushes me to the floor the guy

08:15i'll never forget him like picks me up my dad shoves him to the side and is like it's her

08:21fault i know

08:22it's her fault he brings me in the house and literally does not bandage my wound i could not eat

08:29i could

08:29not drink until i apologized for i don't even know what and i think that is a a key story

08:36for me because

08:37at the end of the day you know i'm not trying to excuse the ever but it's like a mental

08:43health issue

08:44there's no rhyme or reason or understanding of why he would have gotten mad at your daughter fell

08:51off of her bike what did she do wrong another story is so this one gets me really emotional

08:56you feel abandoned when you're being you feel like you're alone i had done whatever i had done

09:01and whatever it was i don't even remember what it was i just remember being left alone they literally

09:06all left the house so at the time there were four of us because my youngest two siblings are a

09:11lot

09:11younger than me and i was such a bad girl that they left me alone i was probably god i

09:16was probably

09:17eight seven or eight i was left alone for probably five or six hours and in that time i called

09:23my

09:23grandfather and he came over about it was probably about four hours into it and i remember when he when

09:30my my family came back for the day my grandfather and my dad got into almost a fist fight my

09:36mom comes from

09:38a beautiful family a very loving family my dad um had abuse in his own family his mom was very

09:44abusive

09:44to him and his dad was and so he sort of continued the cycle that i've stopped my mom comes

09:51from a very

09:52healthy family so my grandfather didn't speak a lot of english but because he came directly from lebanon

09:57he immigrated but that day i'll never forget him basically getting into a fist fight with with my dad and

10:03so that was another huge story one of the stories that i really love telling is sort of my end

10:09all the

10:09moment that i said enough was enough and that was in a part of that is is my love story

10:15and so i think

10:15it's very important to expand on sort of the love of my life and how that got me out

10:25so at nine years old was the first time i remember being uh at nine years old was the first

10:31time i

10:31also met the love of my life so i met my childhood sweetheart at nine we were at church camp

10:36and he

10:37was different than anyone that i'd met in our culture or our community and i said that day this

10:42is the guy that i'm going to marry so to the point of comes in all forms while my parents

10:48and my dad and

10:48my brother knew that i was in love with this guy throughout my whole teen years they wanted to

10:53control the narrative of who i was going to date and who i was going to marry could not date

10:57anyone

10:57could not be seen outside with it somebody from the opposite gender in my early 20s he stopped my dad

11:05and said i want to date your daughter and my dad said that'll never happen in my mid-20s now

11:10we're

11:10traveling the country doing all the seminars so i look up the guy that i was in love with and

11:15i

11:16called him and i said hey i'm independent now we're traveling the country would love to reconnect

11:20don't have to tell my dad we reconnected i really fell in love with him we fell madly and deeply

11:26in

11:26love we dated for about three months without telling anyone and then we went to my dad in our big

11:32mansion in our piano room we sat down in front of him and said we're going to get married and

11:38he said

11:38fine him or us if you choose us you have to get him out of your life because you're in

11:43love with him

11:43we don't want him hanging around if you choose him well then you'll never talk to your mom your

11:49siblings or i ever again you're cut out from the estate from any of the company paperwork at the

11:55time again i'm 25 all i know is this life so i do i stay with my family i don't

12:02go with the love of

12:03my life and i cut him off so within three years i had created a company i had to sign

12:09it all the paperwork

12:10all the money actually over to my family but i created my own company got my own sort of income

12:15coming in because i knew once i left it would be mine and then started looking for apartments within

12:20about three years started dating someone actually from california i was going to move to la that was

12:25going to be my ticket out it was christmas of 2010 the guy flew in my dad didn't want him

12:31in our home

12:32so i said nope we're hanging out my dad grabbed my hair threw me to the floor dragged me across

12:37the

12:37floor and basically threw me down the stairs and i was like that's it so moved into an apartment

12:43went on match.com and match.com within 30 days matched me with the guy that i'd fallen in love

12:49with at nine we reconnected he reached out to me and we started reconciling with my family and then

12:57at christmas time of 2011 he was going to propose to me my dad tried to do the same thing

13:03over again

13:03after we'd reconciled and this is what also people need to understand a tiger doesn't change their

13:08stripes this abusive situation will be there forever there has to be some seriously drastic change and

13:15that's what i had to come to the understanding of is this abuser that was abusing me from the beginning

13:20will forever abuse me if i allow him in my life and so we eloped on valentine's day february 14

13:272012.

13:28we held a very big ceremony and even at that ceremony in august where we had 300 of our closest

13:34friends and family my dad was horrible we invited him because i wanted to have a clear conscious that

13:41my dad and mom and siblings were invited but he was awful you have to hit rock bottom and you

13:46have

13:46to realize that as a survivor you have your own life and your own path to carve i'd love to

13:51be able to

13:52to tell people that it goes away i would always want to be this this tender about my old self

14:01about

14:01little jojo i will always want to nurture that little me inside

14:11so i remember looking towards women that were it was women females in any aspect of their life that was

14:20winning because sadly i saw my mom as a loser and i hate to say it like i don't mean

14:25to be crass but

14:26she was not winning at life she was not taking care of her children so my mom was wildly successful

14:33in

14:33her career before she married my dad she was the head of the consulate of lebanon so she met with

14:38presidents she got her citizenship from the president from president reagan like she was a wildly successful

14:45career woman until my dad began to control her she's still legendary in the detroit council of

14:50lebanon's office like people will still remember her name because that's how amazing she was so i took

14:55that part of her and i took all of the women that we met throughout those seasons and i think

15:01that's

15:01something that's very important to my story because then i became that person so i looked for that woman

15:07throughout my whole life and then when i became an adult i never wanted to stay there i never thought

15:13this

15:14was normal like the only thing i thought was halfway normal was which is weird was the rape because it

15:20was the one time i made him happy and that's the only reason i thought it was normal because i

15:23wasn't

15:24educated on bodily anatomy i think it's important to recognize that to be angry at something that is

15:30unjust however being angry and becoming your abuser is not okay and so i had to recognize throughout the

15:39years where i picked up the abusive behaviors of my dad so to the point that i'd be in a

15:47store or at a

15:48restaurant screaming at somebody because they did something wrong or they made a mistake and so

15:54forgiving yourself and having grace for yourself that you took the influence from the abuser and you

16:02lure it on yourself could be fight or flight or it just could be the fact that they influenced you

16:08because

16:08that you that was your attachment right so that's who what all you knew that was your environment so

16:13i promised myself two things as a little girl i would get out one day and i was going to

16:17help others

16:17get out one day because i knew i wasn't the only one as i started expanding my horizons so when

16:23i finally

16:23got out i did everything that i could to tell my story i started posting it on social media i

16:29would tell

16:29anyone and everyone in business meetings in social circles that this is what happened i was condemned for

16:36by many people who are no longer in my life now that we don't talk like that because growing up

16:42that's what you're told we don't tell anyone outside of our situation what's happening and so

16:47the community sided with them and then part of the community sided with me and so the more i began

16:52to

16:52tell my story the more women started gravitating towards me hey this happened to me hey i'm currently

16:58going through this so i would take a part of my paycheck through the years and help women whether it

17:03was

17:04helping them with a car payment or groceries or kids clothes or a rep payment whatever it was my

17:10husband and i would help them one of the main things that i really like to focus on is is

17:17hope

17:17ultimately we live in a very in a world that likes to make us feel that we're in a very

17:23dark time and i

17:25think the message i'd love to convey is there is hope and there is love out there and if we

17:31all

17:32you know try to operate from that place of hope and love we can make a better world for survivors

17:37for ourselves for future generations no one's going to come save us we're the people that are going to

17:43save each other

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