- 22 minutes ago
As we go behind the scenes of the world's smiliest airport, we meet the Far East's happiest Immigration officer and a laughing doctor who has his patients ...
一群英国年轻人途经曼谷机场，准备踏上毕生难忘的探险之旅。约翰死里逃生，马特则因没有机票而滞留.
一群英国年轻人途经曼谷机场，准备踏上毕生难忘的探险之旅。约翰死里逃生，马特则因没有机票而滞留.
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TravelTranscript
00:00This is Bangkok International Airport. You're clear for a day.
00:03Bangkok Airport is like no other airport on Earth.
00:06Welcome to Thailand.
00:07This is my best smiley.
00:09It's where East meets West.
00:12Ching, ching, ching, ching, ching, ching.
00:13Buddhist meets backpacker.
00:15Back ride to the beach.
00:17And traveller meets trouble.
00:18You never see me in Thailand ever again?
00:20No. No. Yes.
00:21And if the culture seems strange...
00:23...the language seems foreign...
00:26...and you're 6,000 miles from home...
00:29...I'm stuck in Bangkok.
00:31Don't panic.
00:32There's an army of airport staff just waiting to help you out.
00:36One way...
00:37How may I help you?
00:40...or another...
00:41Get in the line.
00:43So whether it's your gateway to a million once-in-a-lifetime experiences...
00:46It's all about love, love, love and love.
00:49...or just the ticket to a good old-fashioned holiday nightmare...
00:52Look at all the constant flights.
00:53...this is your final call.
00:57Really happy, everyone.
00:59Welcome...
01:00Yes, please.
01:01...to Bangkok Airport.
01:08Today we go behind the scenes at the world's smiliest airport.
01:14We meet the Far East's happiest immigration officer...
01:18I love my job.
01:20And the lapping doctor who has his patience in stitches.
01:24But not everyone's smiling.
01:27They're not really taking care of me in a nutshell.
01:30Melody's lost her passport and Matt can't get back to Rotherham.
01:33Well, I'm here forever, don't I?
01:35John's round Asia trip hits the skids.
01:38Oh, shit!
01:41I had to wrap it around my head because I didn't know how bad the cut was.
01:44And will Paul make it to the gate after a big night out in departures?
01:48Jeff.
01:48It's just another day at the airport of smiles.
01:51And no one smiles more than Jack.
01:53My name is Captain Jackapong.
01:57You can call me Jack.
02:00Yeah.
02:00Captain Jack.
02:02I love my job, you know.
02:05I love my job.
02:08I love to be immigration.
02:12Ching, ching, ching, ching, ching, ching.
02:14I issued a visa on arrival.
02:17One passenger, I have to stamp it three times.
02:20Then I have to count ching, ching, ching, ching, ching, ching.
02:24From this classic numbering machine.
02:29I love this machine.
02:30The sound so good.
02:32See?
02:33And then I issued the visa from stamping.
02:39This is the visa.
02:40Done.
02:41Okay?
02:43It makes my day.
02:46I don't know.
02:47I just love it.
02:49Yes!
02:53After clearing immigration, the adventure begins.
02:56The airport handles 50 million passengers a year.
02:58And Bangkok's a top long haul destination for young British travellers.
03:03Hi!
03:04We're here on a gap year!
03:05Beach, pool chair and partying.
03:07We're doing all three.
03:08For some, it's a voyage of self-discovery.
03:10I'm soul-searching because I really want to find who I am.
03:14But for beauticians Alicia and Georgia, it isn't.
03:17I came to Thailand because my dad was paying for it, so it's a free holiday.
03:24But now they're here, they're going to make the most of it.
03:26The top five things I want to do is get a massage, get a tan, and...
03:34Wow!
03:37She wants to see a ladyboy.
03:41It's really hot when you get outside, you can't breathe.
03:45Yeah, that's...
03:45People were tights on the plane so that we could just take them off as soon as we got off.
03:50Do you like it?
03:51You said easy access.
03:52Oh, sure.
03:54That as well.
03:56Two birds, one stone.
03:58What's that mean?
03:59You're hitting two birds with one stone.
04:01Doing two things in one...
04:03Oh, okay.
04:04Sure.
04:07Okay.
04:08Alyssia and Georgia will spend the first half of their halls with Alyssia's dad, Andy, and his partner, Chan.
04:13The second half, they're on their own, including a trip to the full moon party.
04:17I think they should go and experience, but I've told them to be very, very careful.
04:21A bit worried about them.
04:22Yeah, I'm a bit worried about them.
04:23I'm quite bored when they have, like, drink and drunk and that.
04:26Should we just go and get a pit?
04:29Probably.
04:29We can't get too drunk.
04:31We can.
04:32We've got to get up in the morning.
04:33We've got to get up in the morning.
04:34We've got to go gym in the morning, haven't we?
04:38Get a beach pod.
04:40We go gym every day.
04:42When we leave our old man, we're going to be nicking lads, so we've got to get beach pods.
04:49Oh, don't get my cellulite.
04:51With Dad footing the bill, the first half of the trip should be a doddle.
04:56But will they still be smiling when they go it alone?
05:11If you're ever in Boulder at Bangkok Airport, your best bet is to head for Tourist Police HQ.
05:17This 90-strong squad of officers are dedicated to helping travellers in trouble and doing it with a smile.
05:24Sergeants Bopit and Zhang patrol one of the biggest airport terminals in the world.
05:29At six million square feet, it's some beat.
05:32But they've got it covered on their brand new Segways.
05:35I am.
05:41Everybody can do it.
05:44On their Super Segways, the Tourist Police aren't ready for any emergency.
05:48From taxi touts, to threatening behaviour, to lost property.
05:51Lots of lost property.
05:52Camilla.
05:53Yeah.
05:54Lot Camilla.
05:56Passport.
05:56Lot passport.
05:57Husband.
05:59Husband.
06:00Friend.
06:01Friend.
06:01More.
06:02Do you have more?
06:03Money.
06:04Money.
06:05Money is number one.
06:06Yes.
06:07And some kids, lot hotels.
06:09Yeah.
06:10Lot of way, you know.
06:11Lot of way to the hotel.
06:12Forget the view of the hotel.
06:17Back at the office, the first loser of the day is Matt from Rotherham.
06:20I did not have flight.
06:21I had e-ticket.
06:23Just...
06:24I just got...
06:25He's desperate to get home after his wallet containing credit cards and cash was stolen.
06:30It's a tough one, but Sergeant Zhang's on the case.
06:33Can't help him for sending back.
06:35But how?
06:36Try thinking that.
06:38Don't know.
06:39Don't believe because, police, police, we are Superman.
06:44My daughter's in hospital.
06:48Er...
06:48Well, it's an accident.
06:50I need to get home.
06:52I don't...
06:53My flight is in for two weeks.
06:55So I've come to change today and there's no...
06:58No ticket here.
06:59I've lost my bank card.
07:01I just can't get home.
07:03Matt's return ticket is non-transferable.
07:05And with no money, he wants to buy a ticket online using his girlfriend's card number back home.
07:11My...my...my girlfriend sent me a number on her card.
07:15Mm-hmm.
07:15If I can get a flight, I can just type in and go.
07:20Ah, yes.
07:21I try on internet.
07:22Yeah, yeah, yeah.
07:23And now, are you hungry?
07:25I don't know what I am.
07:27Oh, okay.
07:28No, I've got stumbling.
07:29Some...some coffee?
07:29I need a drink.
07:30Water.
07:31Water.
07:33What airport is this?
07:34Manchester.
07:36Tomorrow.
07:36That'll do.
07:38No.
07:38Matt checks his flight options.
07:40But just as he's about to buy his ticket, Sergeant Jang spots a problem.
07:45Some airline.
07:46In Thailand, some airline.
07:48If you buy ticket by...by credit card, you must show this card.
07:53You know help card, right?
07:55No, I've not got a card.
07:56No.
07:57This card is at home.
07:58What do I need to do now?
07:59Uh, your girlfriend buy ticket for you, and then send this ticket to your email.
08:05Your email.
08:06Email.
08:07Angela.
08:09Uh, you're gonna...you're gonna have to book me a ticket.
08:13Right?
08:13I've just...
08:15Angela, I've got one up here on internet, but I can't be...I can't pay for it.
08:20You've got to...you've got to buy it, and then email.
08:24When it...when it comes through a document, you're gonna have to email that document, then,
08:29to you.
08:34Departure, uh, tomorrow.
08:35Quator Airways.
08:37Yes, it's from Bangkok.
08:38That's right, Angela.
08:39Book it, mate.
08:42Angela, I can't, because if I could book it, I need the card to show them.
08:47Um, this is strange.
08:50She's doing exactly the same what I can do here.
08:52But I can book this now.
08:54But there's a saying I can't, have it?
08:57It's just the same.
08:58She's gonna do exactly the same.
08:59Whatever the email me here, I've got it here.
09:04I just...I do not understand.
09:07What's the difference?
09:08I could buy that now.
09:10Okay, go with.
09:11And print it off your ticket.
09:13Matthew goes tomorrow.
09:17Three hours in, Matt's no nearer to flying out.
09:21This could be a long haul.
09:31Two floors down from police HQ is the airport's state-of-the-art medical centre.
09:37Doctors here treat more than 30,000 patients a year, but they still find time for a laugh.
09:42Oh, sorry.
09:43And no one likes to laugh more than Dr Art.
09:46No, just kidding.
09:47Except his best pal, Dr Jack.
09:51Oh, Dr Jack.
09:53He's the most funniest guy ever.
09:57And when he comes here, he always comes with a loud laugh.
10:02Even we in the toilet, from the outside, we can hear his laugh.
10:07Today, Jack's put a smile on everyone's face.
10:10He's just back from London with presents for the team.
10:15Most of the Thai girls love shopping.
10:18So, four of the dancers making an order with me.
10:22The tamaroon from London.
10:26But Dr Jack wasn't on holiday in London.
10:28He actually flew there at the controls of his jumbo.
10:32His other job's a pilot.
10:34I dreamed to be a pilot since I was a young boy.
10:37But when I graduated as a physician, I tried to follow my dream, to be a pilot.
10:43But multi-talented Dr Jack pops into the clinic when the staff are pushed.
10:47Today he's helping John, who's been in the wars.
10:50That's my T-shirt after the crash.
10:52I had to wrap it around my head because I didn't know how bad the cut was.
10:55And he was actually cut, he was passed out, so I thought he was dead.
10:58John and his mate Chris were on a round Asia trip until the wheels came off.
11:02Yesterday I was in Laos.
11:04We were trying to get to the airport for connecting flights here.
11:07And, of course, we had a road crash.
11:08Ended up in the ditch in the jungle.
11:10It was just a free accident.
11:11Basically, I don't know if it was the car's fault, the weather's fault, or a little bit of our fault.
11:15But, basically, we tried to turn the corner.
11:18The car didn't respond quite as it should.
11:20It just so happened that I happened to turn the camera on at the time, you know, the second before
11:24it happened.
11:25So, it is pretty traumatic.
11:28Just me screaming in my head most of the time.
11:29Busy, hard left, hard left.
11:31Oh, shit!
11:33Oh, shit!
11:35Oh, shit!
11:41The last thing I remember was going down the ditch.
11:43But I passed out.
11:44I passed out.
11:45I was out.
11:46Busy!
11:47Busy!
11:48Busy, wake up!
11:49Fuck up!
11:50Busy!
11:51Busy, wake up!
11:52Fuck!
11:53Yeah!
11:54Busy, wake up!
11:55Busy, wake up!
11:57I was just tired.
11:58Yeah, I just wanted to get me out.
11:59Don't.
12:01I thought it was scary.
12:02I thought I lost my best mate, and then there's just blood everywhere with me, so.
12:05But luckily, you know, there's people all around that came and helped us straight away.
12:08As soon as you woke up, I knew we'd be fine.
12:11Great holiday snaps.
12:13It's really good for the album.
12:14Although, I'm not Facebook on that one.
12:16John's problems aren't over.
12:17Dr Jack has to decide if he's well enough to board his plane.
12:21Without a fit-to-fly certificate, his journey ends here.
12:24So you confirmed that when you got the accident, you did not lost the conscience, right?
12:28No, definitely not.
12:29Definitely not.
12:29So the whole thing, unfortunately.
12:31Good.
12:31Do you feel nausea?
12:33No, not at all.
12:34No.
12:34Any blur vision?
12:35No, no.
12:37It's the first time John's had a good look at his wound.
12:39I just hope the girls, they like scars.
12:41It makes a guy more attractive, right?
12:46Selfie over, Dr Jack begins his examination.
12:50I just observed for his movement and his pew-pew reaction with the light.
12:55Okay, follow the light, please.
12:57I think that all of his neurological signs are perfectly normal.
13:02So I think it's just only the wounds.
13:05Would you mind if I prescribe you antibiotics?
13:07Because right now I think you will need it.
13:09Okay.
13:10Is that going to affect my flight?
13:12Is that going to affect me getting on this next flight?
13:13No, no, no.
13:14I think that you can catch your flight.
13:17Great.
13:17No problem.
13:18It's a result, though Jack says John's had a narrow escape.
13:21In case of John, I think his accident is not serious at all, by my experience,
13:26because I used to have the case who lost his arm or maybe decapitated.
13:30With the all clear and a new dressing, John and Chris can make their way to check-in.
13:35Thank you very much.
13:36Okay.
13:36From Godfathers.
13:38See to fly.
13:38Get to fly.
13:39Get in.
13:42The universe is doing its hardest to try and, like, ruin things for us, but we're
13:46just not going to get there.
13:47There's just better times ahead, we know that for sure.
13:49But once again, fate takes a hand.
13:55I don't think I got my passport back off him.
13:57I don't.
13:58I had a hundred in at the desk with the hospital there.
14:01Did they give it back to you?
14:02No.
14:04Oh, here we go again.
14:09With John convinced he's left his passport at the medical centre, airline staff race over
14:15to see if they can retrieve it in time.
14:17Or has that knock to the head affected his memory?
14:19The agent of the medical centre has confirmed that they returned the passport to you already.
14:25They didn't give it back to me, no.
14:28They didn't give it back to me, no.
14:28Please please have a look again.
14:36Sorry.
14:36I have it.
14:37I have it.
14:38I have it.
14:38It was mixed in with all my bloody clothes.
14:41Passport in hand, John and Chris are free to continue their Far East adventure.
14:59Bangkok Airport serves more than just Bangkok.
15:02It's the gateway to Thailand's holiday islands.
15:06Alicia and Georgia have been sampling the delights of Koh Samui.
15:09So far they've done it in style, thanks to Alicia's dad Andy and his partner Chen.
15:13But they're flying out today and the girls will be on their own.
15:16So far on holiday they've done absolutely nothing for themselves.
15:20Jen's organised virtually everything.
15:24Erm...
15:25And so we decided from now on they've got to start organising it all themselves.
15:28But we had to force them into booking their accommodation.
15:31Yeah.
15:32They haven't even booked their boat yet to go to the full moon party.
15:36So we're going to have to tell them to do that, otherwise that's not going to happen.
15:39Now they're down to reality.
15:40I don't know how they're going to get on once we've gone back.
15:43They've been staying the same accommodation we have.
15:46But they're now having to do the backpackers bit with the one stars and the hostels.
15:52So now it's the moment of truth as dad and Chan say goodbye to the girls.
15:56Well you better be careful.
15:58Don't want to get a phone call.
15:59Oh please.
16:00Please.
16:02I'm not a kid anymore.
16:04I'm telling you.
16:05Bye.
16:06Love you.
16:10You're sweaty.
16:11See you later.
16:11See ya.
16:12Bye.
16:13Love you.
16:14Bye.
16:14So it's goodbye to the good life.
16:17From now on the friends will be roughing it.
16:19They've already had to move into more modest accommodation.
16:23I've not got room service.
16:26We need the room service.
16:29I can't do my hair.
16:31I don't know.
16:32They don't really have toilet paper up here but in the bars and that people just squirt themselves
16:38and then be done with it.
16:40I couldn't do it to be honest.
16:42It's just like a hole.
16:42And you just have to squat.
16:45Into the hole.
16:46And then you get this bowl.
16:48It's just like a big bucket full of water with a little pot in it and they just like scoop
16:52it and just go like that.
16:55I don't know but we didn't do it.
16:56We had to go and get a tissue.
16:58We couldn't, couldn't do it.
17:00I think it's good to do things like this.
17:03Yeah.
17:04Gives you a kick up the arse, doesn't it?
17:06I'm not scared.
17:07I think I'm quite sensible.
17:13I'm not.
17:15I'm not.
17:16I'm not.
17:18I'm not.
17:18Their first task is to book a boat to the full moon party on the nearby island of Koh Phangan.
17:24Hello.
17:25Do you know the speed boat for full moon party?
17:28Speed boat.
17:29Speed boat.
17:30Full moon party.
17:32High speed boat.
17:34Yeah.
17:35High speed boat.
17:35High speed boat.
17:37That's not right.
17:38It starts from one, goes all the way through to seven.
17:41So you get picked up and you have to wait an hour.
17:43It's not right.
17:44But it's right.
17:45You're just div.
17:45No, I'm not booking nothing.
17:46I'm not paying for a speed boat.
17:49I want to get there in speedy time.
17:50Not fucking sit on the boat an hour and wait.
17:54Five star restaurants are now a thing of the past.
17:57We didn't come to places like this when we were with my dad and Jen.
18:01Don't really know about what money I've got.
18:05Because I don't even check my account and just draw it out.
18:08It's not going to last forever, is it?
18:11You're nice.
18:16They've discovered a knack for eating cheaply.
18:21Sorry, we can't tip you.
18:24It's not just food and accommodation.
18:26Every bus and boat will have to be paid for.
18:29OK.
18:29So, how much is it altogether?
18:32Yeah.
18:33Now they're on a budget, Alicia and Georgia will have to watch what they spend.
18:37But what did they spend?
18:39How much is that anyway?
18:412,400.
18:42What's 8 plus 8?
18:448E?
18:4558?
18:478 plus 8?
18:48What's 8 plus 8?
18:49It was 2,400.
18:50It went 2,800.
18:518 plus 8 is 900.
18:528 plus 8 is 19.
18:5516.
18:5516.
18:58That's...
18:588 plus 8.
19:00Wait, how much was it?
19:02I know.
19:03They're smiling now, but they'll have to improve their maths if they're to survive the
19:07holiday without the Bank of Dad.
19:15I cannot afford...
19:17OK, OK, OK.
19:19I have no money.
19:20Back at the airport of Smiles, Matt's still stranded.
19:23His wallet's been stolen and now he's losing his sense of humour.
19:26And that is...
19:27That is cheap.
19:28Cheap.
19:29That's what I can afford.
19:31Oh.
19:31Sergeant Zhang has told him he can't use his girlfriend's card details to book the flight.
19:36Yes.
19:36Some airline, if you buy ticket, buy credit card, before you have a fight, when you check
19:44in, you must show this card too.
19:47So, he's calling his mum to see if he can get some cash through his travel insurance.
19:52Right.
19:52Right.
19:53Trouble.
19:54Trouble.
19:55But phoning Rotherham on your mobile doesn't come cheap.
19:59I use telephone.
20:01Er...
20:01We have some card.
20:03You...
20:03You want to...
20:05Er...
20:06Make overseas, right?
20:07No.
20:08Er...
20:08I don't know.
20:09I've got to ring that number.
20:10Oh, no.
20:11That number...
20:12That number, they've told...
20:14Tell my...
20:15My girlfriend.
20:16That number, I ring that.
20:18He says they will definitely help me and they'll bring me money to the airport.
20:32Don't think that's working.
20:35Wrong number.
20:36Wrong number.
20:39I have to go back.
20:45You've never seen me in Thailand ever again.
20:48Ever.
20:51Back at the tourist police, Matt bites the bullet and calls mum on his mobile.
20:56It doesn't connect to anything.
21:00Well, it's a massive number as it is.
21:02I'm thinking, it's what?
21:041, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12.
21:06It's 14 numbers long.
21:09Right.
21:10All right.
21:10All right, Mum.
21:11I'll try it again.
21:11I'll try it again.
21:12All right, Mum.
21:14Yeah.
21:14So...
21:16Finally, Matt gets through to the insurers.
21:19It's, er...
21:20Flex...
21:21Flex account travel cover upgrade.
21:23Worldwide cover.
21:25Yeah, it's emergency.
21:26International emergency.
21:28Sir, that is mean you can get money.
21:31I...
21:31I need...
21:32I...
21:32I need to fax this.
21:35What do you do?
21:36Sir, can you take a photo and send by...
21:39Are you scared scared?
21:40We...
21:41Because we...
21:42We...
21:42Can you send by email?
21:43You just make things complicated.
21:49They need that document to prove that I've been robbed.
21:52Then they might send me...
21:53Might give me money.
21:57You can't just buy a ticket and just show them your passport and get on a plane.
22:01Why can't they pull strings and make one exception?
22:04Why can't they just go to airlines and say, look...
22:06He's here.
22:07Let's just let him show that ticket, passport and get him on.
22:10Why can't they just do that?
22:15Unbelievable.
22:17So if...
22:17If I don't do that, I'm just here forever, am I?
22:19I just waste away.
22:22With no solution in sight, Matt's in danger of forgetting the airport's golden rule.
22:27Smile.
22:29Not only does Bangkok call itself the airport of smiles, it prides itself on its helpful and friendly staff.
22:37As Matt's discovered, from dawn to dusk, they're here to help.
22:41Take Officer Nook from airport security.
22:43I love working at the airport. I love passengers from every country.
22:49But beware, when she's checking you in, she's really checking you out.
22:53I come to work at the airport because I need to find a boyfriend from Europe.
23:01I love people from England. Yes, I find them every day.
23:06But I don't know why they don't like me.
23:10Maybe because I am funny, girl.
23:15While Officer Nook wishes passengers a pleasant flight, Captain Jack welcomes them to Thailand with a smile.
23:22People visiting Thailand, like, they know the rule.
23:26When they know the rule, most of them, when I smile, they will smile back.
23:33Yes!
23:35Can I ask you, how do you like Thailand?
23:41This way.
23:44Did you say welcome to Thailand?
23:47See?
23:48I missed that.
23:50See?
23:51How do you like Thailand?
23:53Huh? Pardon?
23:54How do you like Thailand?
23:55Thailand?
23:56Very well.
24:00Which way?
24:01Which way?
24:01Here.
24:02This way.
24:04Welcome to Thailand, by the way.
24:07Why you come to Thailand?
24:09Sorry?
24:09Why you come to Thailand?
24:11For honeymoon.
24:13Honeymoon.
24:13Oh, my gosh.
24:16Congratulations.
24:18Captain Jack is especially happy to welcome this visitor to Thailand.
24:22So you have a good trip?
24:24Of course.
24:25Yeah.
24:26He's just got hitched himself and he's still basking in the afterglow.
24:30We are happy and we made the music video and I share it to the cyber world.
24:46Is it fun?
24:48The clock is ticking.
24:50Running out of time.
24:53So we should party.
24:54All right.
24:56So cover your eyes.
24:57And have a surprise.
24:59Me.
24:59My wife.
25:01Me and my wife.
25:04My wife.
25:05Me.
25:07Me.
25:07My wife.
25:10Me.
25:12My wife.
25:12Me and my wife.
25:21By the tourist police HQ, Melody's just stepped off a connecting flight from Phuket.
25:26And her passport's not with her.
25:28It's another case for Bo Pit to look into.
25:31On the plane, where did you keep your passport?
25:35I can't remember.
25:37You can't remember?
25:38No.
25:39But both these bags, both of these bags here, was in the, what is that called?
25:47You know above the head?
25:49I know, I know.
25:50Yeah?
25:50After you get on the plane, didn't you take it out from the cabin?
25:54Can you remember?
25:54No, I didn't.
25:55I didn't take it out.
25:57Oh.
25:58No.
25:59Lost passports are an everyday problem at Bangkok airport.
26:02Melody thinks hers fell out of her little bag when she was putting it in her big bag.
26:06Ugh.
26:07It's heavy.
26:08It's a beach bag.
26:10And it doesn't show.
26:12I should, I've only had one bit of hand luggage.
26:15But where I was so over, in my normal luggage, they told me to take out seven kilos.
26:20So, that's when I got this bag out, to put everything in.
26:28She lost passport, Canada, wallet, sunglasses.
26:35Everything inside.
26:37Everything inside.
26:37In Gucci.
26:39Back.
26:40My name is Miss Melody, or why Melody.
26:44Without a passport, Melody can't leave Thailand, never mind catch her flight.
26:49She calls the British Embassy for help.
26:50I need to do an emergency travel document.
26:54So, but they, they, you only can do that in the morning, not the afternoon.
26:59Do you think, am I going to be stuck here?
27:02Do you know what I mean?
27:02Like, how long for?
27:04I've got no way of getting home, no passport, no transport.
27:07I've got no ID on me.
27:09So, yeah.
27:10Really, really stressful.
27:13You need a, you need a stiff drink after this.
27:16Definitely.
27:18The staff take a moment to discuss her case when Melody steps out for some fresh air.
27:31But Melody's not happy with the way the police are handling her case.
27:35They're not really taking care of me in a nutshell.
27:38There's no, there's no simplisation here at all.
27:42And I've felt a little bit interrogated.
27:45With the embassy due to close for the day, Melody doesn't want to risk the trip into Bangkok.
27:50I don't want to get there and it's going to be shut.
27:52Like, that would just be the worst.
27:54That would, like, tip me off the iceberg.
27:57It really would, because I'm so stressed out right now.
28:00Like, it's very stressful.
28:03It's started to look like another night in Bangkok.
28:05You know, I was so looking forward to getting home.
28:08And now I can't.
28:10I suppose I could top up in my town now, can't I?
28:21Back at the airport's medical centre, Jack the Flying Doctor is busy taking orders for his next trip to England.
28:27The nurse who works here earns just only £20 for one day.
28:31As a pilot, you can shopping in any place you fly.
28:35Okay.
28:36So I try to make everyone happy when they work with me.
28:41Okay.
28:41So we finish getting many orders from us.
28:47Emergency case.
28:48There's a police officer in front of the gate A to A.
28:51Okay.
28:51There's a police officer in front of the gate A to A.
28:53One patient get fence at Delta 1 Alpha, so I have to be there now.
28:59The presence will have to wait.
29:00A passenger has collapsed at one of the gates with a suspected heart attack.
29:04Jack, I'm using CPR.
29:08Okay.
29:09CPR.
29:10I plan to get up to the court A.
29:12As a pilot, Jack takes the short cut across the tarmac.
29:15Jack, you're looking for a basket.
29:16Delta 1A.
29:18Okay.
29:19D1A, 1B.
29:20Okay.
29:21Okay.
29:24Okay.
29:25Okay.
29:27Okay.
29:29Okay.
29:30Okay.
29:42The patient is an Italian tourist taken ill as he boarded the plane home.
29:46He literally just collapsed.
29:48Okay.
29:49So it just collapsed.
29:51Okay.
29:51He's 74 years old.
29:53Okay.
29:54He was in hospital.
29:55Antibiotics, bronchitis, hyperpressure.
29:57Okay.
29:58So that's all you have, right?
30:03The patient's pulse is faint, so Dr. Jack administers oxygen.
30:08Okay.
30:09Okay, sir.
30:10Okay, sir.
30:10Let me help.
30:11Let me help.
30:11Okay.
30:12Let's move.
30:14When the patient starts responding, he's stretched out of departures.
30:26There's an ambulance waiting to take him to hospital.
30:29In Bangkok.
30:34Two hours later, Jack's back.
30:36I'm exhausted.
30:38He's confident the patient will make a full recovery.
30:40When he arrived at the hospital, he gained full, full conscious.
30:45But he's still confused.
30:47And he's pleased with the way his staff responded to the emergency.
30:50The team, the team, I have to say the team, took care of him completely.
30:55My team is fantastic today.
30:57It's another happy ending.
30:59Thanks.
30:59But he knows his next shopping trip's really going to cost him.
31:11On the island of Koh Phangan, British holidaymakers Alicia and Georgia have joined the crowds at the full moon party.
31:18This techno-fueled duster dawn rave on a beach has become a rite of passage for thousands of young Brits.
31:26With his day-glow face paint, vodka buckets and magic milkshakes, it's a good place to find yourself or just
31:33get lost.
31:33Eight out of ten thousand, we were going to lose each other tonight.
31:37The whole plan!
31:40But losing each other could be the least of their worries.
31:45Fucking lethal, isn't it?
31:48We watched some documentary on Thailand and it was, like, saying all the dodgy stuff that happens and we thought,
31:54right, we'd better not go.
31:56And it actually was not going to come but then we just thought, we'll go, we'll have a look.
32:00If it feels a bit dodgy, we'll just go home early.
32:04But having come all this way, it'd be a shame not to join in.
32:07What do you want to do? We're running out of drinks. Do you want to get another bucket?
32:11We're going to be on the floor.
32:13What do you want to do then?
32:14Then let's get another one.
32:17But even the drinks are a disappointment.
32:20That ain't vodka, is it?
32:23That's not vodka.
32:24That tastes nothing like this.
32:27Side up.
32:30We don't want it, it's disgusting.
32:32Where's the money?
32:33I haven't paid her.
32:35You haven't paid her?
32:35Alright, we won't have it.
32:37Don't want it.
32:40They'll just probably refill it round the back.
32:42With, like, petrol or something.
32:46It's not just the vodka buckets that are a let down.
32:50It's like being in Magaloo for a lot of university students all fun together in one.
32:58It's not always cracked up to me at all.
33:10It's all right.
33:13It's packed up to me.
33:14But I wouldn't rave about it.
33:16London is the best thing.
33:18Shoreditch is better.
33:20Yeah, Shoreditch is better than that.
33:21That's fucking potent.
33:23So much for the full moon party.
33:28And Alicia's not the only one feeling fed up tonight.
33:34Back at the airport, Matt seems no nearer to getting home after his long evening with the tourist police.
33:41One, two, three, four, five, six.
33:45About six hours.
33:49Matt's insurers want to see proof he's had his wallet stolen.
33:52This email, there's something attached to it.
33:55It needs opening.
33:57Printing.
33:58I have to sign.
34:00Scan.
34:01Send back.
34:03Okay, okay.
34:04Just a moment.
34:05Despite doubts from Sergeant Chang, Matt's convinced he can buy a flight online using card details.
34:10from the UK.
34:11He calls the British Embassy for advice.
34:14I know.
34:15I know.
34:15That's where I've told these.
34:17I've got the embassy man here saying it's stupid.
34:20I don't need the card to get on the plane.
34:24Try that then.
34:27Bye.
34:28Bye.
34:28He said to me, British Embassy man, if my girlfriend books me flight with my card, I need to show
34:36them.
34:36She booked back home with her card.
34:39I don't need to show nothing.
34:41Suddenly, Sergeant Chang has a thought.
34:43What kind of card?
34:45What kind of card?
34:46Yeah, that she buy the ticket.
34:48His credit card, right?
34:50Credit card or debit card?
34:51Credit card.
34:52Debit card.
34:52Oh, debit card is no problem.
34:54Ah, it's okay.
34:55It's okay.
34:57Debit card is okay, not credit card.
34:59It turns out, while a credit card might have to be produced on departure, a debit card doesn't.
35:04Well, this could have been sorted hours ago.
35:08Right.
35:11Things are finally on the move.
35:13All Matt needs now is his girlfriend's debit card.
35:17I need a debit card.
35:20Angela, I need a debit card. You've got to find me one.
35:25What?
35:25You'll have to ring your mates.
35:26I don't know.
35:28I need, right, what you...
35:32Not a credit card.
35:33Debit card.
35:35Well, I can't do it then, can I?
35:39Well, I'm here forever then, aren't I?
35:42So long.
35:44At five to three in the morning, Matt finally books his flight.
35:48It's another triumph for the tourist police.
35:51He get a fight.
35:52He will going home.
35:55Coming soon.
35:58Don't know what I want to do for next.
36:02The Manchester plane's not leaving for quite a while.
36:0613 hours.
36:08But once again, the tourist police can put a smile on his face.
36:11I just want to be at home.
36:13Sergeant Jang unrolls the official tourist police duvet.
36:17Clean.
36:18And he can get his head down for one more night in Bangkok.
36:38It's a brand new day at the airport of Smiles.
36:40And with so many different nationalities passing through,
36:43it's one of the best places in the world to people watch.
36:46You look so perfect standing there in my American apparel underwear.
36:53And I know now that I'm so down.
36:59And no one's better place to do it than Officer Jibidoo.
37:02How may I help you?
37:03From her vantage point at the information desk, she can see you coming a mile off.
37:07The cat left, green, and the red line.
37:10With the appearance, I can tell very easy if they were from India, Dubai, yes.
37:18Pakistan, China.
37:20Yeah, they have this specific look, British. They have this elegant look, especially with business guys, yeah, they pride with
37:31themselves, they stand straight and with their strong accent, you know, like, a bit snobby, a bit snobby.
37:45But not everyone matches that snobby British stereotype. In fact, some people make a point of smashing it to bits.
37:58That's me, that's Paul.
38:02Paul's from Dundee, but he lives out here in Thailand, only leaving reluctantly when he's due back on the rigs.
38:13I work in Norway. I do it two weeks on, four weeks off, so I spend my time over here,
38:19have my girlfriend over here and just enjoy myself.
38:23I thought of even going back to Dundee. No, love Thailand, love it to bits. It's full of beautiful women,
38:30it's sunshine, you can't even compare the two, you know.
38:35I've got a tie with a little tie badge. I've got the headband on, and of course, you've seen the
38:42mask. A little bit of terrorism.
38:48Just for sure. Thailand, one love.
38:56Paul's done the sensible thing, and arrived at the airport in plenty of time. In fact, he's got 14 hours
39:02to kill before he catches his plane.
39:04My flight's at 2 o'clock in the morning, so I have to check in about, what, 11 o'clock
39:09tonight? But that's fine by me, I'm happier. I don't mind. Just float about. A couple of beers, a couple
39:14of smokes, have a little lie down somewhere.
39:18But passing time at any airport can be a drag, even at the airport of Smiles.
39:34Chantica!
39:39Me, cheers.
39:49Okay, I'm going to get a happy hour if that's okay. Are you sure you don't want one?
39:54It's not just the passengers who get bored. The staff, too, have to manage their downtime.
40:02Sergeants Jiang and Boupet take the opportunity to do a spot of PR work for the tourist police.
40:08First. Oh! Sorry, sorry!
40:10Welcome.
40:11you're welcome okay where you from Italy have you been here before oh okay if you
40:23need some help call to my office yeah yeah yeah you can get for the books
40:32mark you know what's what when you read reading the book you're welcome but the
40:39captain Jack there's nothing sadder than an empty immigration room this time is like nobody you can
40:45see nobody see see nobody nobody nobody's here Thai people we love our country and we like to have
40:58everybody come visit so this kind of sad situation that I got right now
41:07Captain Jack cheers himself up by uploading another one of his home videos this is my channel this is my
41:15first performance in immigration his star turn at the last immigration party has gone down in
41:22departmental history do you know what you talking with the superstar of immigration bureau look look in the
41:42the commissioner of immigration guru retired so we made a party to farewell him and our division make the
41:54performance to celebrate the retirement I am in the middle still in the middle look now at mr.
42:09commissioner he will call me up like come on come on come here come here and I wonder one day
42:19he will
42:20remember my name in downtown Bangkok melodies a step closer to getting home yesterday she told the
42:43British Embassy she'd lost her passport but today of funny things happened I found my passport within
42:51another bit of hand luggage that I had that had a bit of a rip in it and it was
42:57underneath in between
42:59a particular notebook that I use I take it out because I like to write notes etc and it was
43:07just floating in
43:08between after reporting her passport missing melody wants to double check it's still valid I found my
43:16passport oh that's I found my passport so I just thought I'd come to the embassy of courtesy to see
43:23yourself and maybe so you can make sure that this is valid and not reported stolen or not it's not
43:31the
43:31first time something like this has happened to melody all right I have got a track record of missing
43:36flights and been like everywhere etc but that's because I've got busy schedule and I suppose leave
43:47everything till last minute yeah so I suppose it is a little bit of a tip for me I've thrown
43:53my hands up
43:54keep it safe yeah you've got a laugh about it now a very relieved melody can go ahead and book
44:02her flight
44:03home alyssia and Georgia are also on the way back to Britain none the worse for their full moon
44:13party experience one of these boys was that proper weirdo and he just come up behind me and I'm done
44:19behind me like grabbing my hands and going like this not what the fuck are you doing fuck off and
44:26then
44:26we had to leave here's such a weirdo Georgia ended up sleeping with him I need a tissue after all
44:39those
44:40budget hotels the girls have decided to treat themselves they might have survived Thailand but
45:09they didn't quite do it on a backpackers budget should we tell them how much we spent we put all
45:15our
45:15money together and you can tell us we spent about five five and a half grand don't know how people
45:27do
45:27it on a grand I was on the phone to my dad saying you can send us 200 squid kajal
45:35you ran out of money
45:37at the departure gate the friends take a few final moments to reflect on their experiences and the
45:43profound effect Thailand has had on them we've definitely changed though like we had dinner the
45:50other day and we found hair in the food and usually if I was in England I'd be like complaining
45:58saying
45:58I'm not paying for this it's disgusting and I just pulled the hair out and carried on eating
46:05shocked myself and on his way home to Yorkshire is Matt he'd kill for a meal with a hair in
46:13it
46:20after a night under the tourist police duvet he's not had much kip so I've had
46:25about five hours in the last 48 hours I think well I'm on my way home now
46:34last night I couldn't see light at end at tunnel for Tauria forever upstairs up that escalator thank
46:41you after checking in for his flight to Manchester via Guangzhou in China Matt has his hard-earned
46:48boarding pass in his hand now what was that misplaced the boarding pass I think I've put it down when
47:02I
47:02put my stuff through x-ray machine and I don't understand where it's gone Matthew Matthew James cap
47:10you're waiting here for the new new body pass body no problem once again the airport staff saved the
47:19day a replacements issued and Matt can finally get home to see his daughter yeah does that everything
47:26match do you match with that thank you I keep on that zip
47:39I can't wait to get her on plane can't wait the biggest dog she's ever had hey I'm gonna go
47:47can't talk
47:48about my daughter upstairs Matt's on his way but Paul's still got six hours to go before his flight
47:56takes off although he's managing to pass the time cheers from the minute I get up to the minute I
48:08go
48:08I sleep I drink so that's it I'm pure Scottish it's there it's in the blood Paul may be Scottish
48:17but
48:17his heart's in Thailand I've been having a party since the minute I got here I'm not actually pushing it's
48:24an elephant at the last water coming up my girlfriend my girlfriend I love her a bitch miss her a
48:33lot my
48:34dream would just be to stay here and now I have to go back to work at all you know
48:40Paul's starting
48:42to feel sentimental so he decides to go back into Bangkok and give his girlfriend a surprise I've been
48:48here from 12 o'clock today my flights at 2 o'clock in the morning I've had enough I just
48:53want to go
48:54back to YM I've checked in but my way to check out again but he's already passed through immigration you
49:00can check in anytime he likes but he can never leave except on a plane go to Abu Dhabi if
49:05I already
49:06change I've been through you cannot because if I go change flight I can do you cannot outside because
49:14you can sit past center the airport has put its foot down there's nothing for it but to have another
49:38drink all's not the only one who's had a few tonight Blackburn girls Becky Jenny and Courtney
49:43are on their way home after the holiday of a lifetime it's been the best holiday ever like
49:48it literally I can't even put into words how good it actually is and I can't even I actually cried
49:54all
49:55the fireworks went off no a little tea account on my face and then I went oh forget it it's
50:00happening
50:01I just burst out it was so funny it was amazing Magaluf never again Zante never again Thailand every
50:10year forever sounds like the party went on till the very last minute
50:17we ended up having a few drinks single arms all the songs yeah there's a band playing like Oasis and
50:24everything so we can't wait it was so good and we loved it so we're like we don't want to
50:30go we don't
50:30want to go so it got to 11 o'clock like that we need to go and they went 10
50:34more minutes 15 more
50:44minutes on check-in tonight is officer nook still single still smiling but those last few drinks could
50:51prove costly if the friends don't make their gate in time oh gosh this is so much this is so
50:58much stress
50:58right now what is this place what do we do here okay we're flying 23 minutes past one and we
51:12need to
51:12board at half one back so that's six minutes to get to our gate the girls aren't the only ones
51:20having
51:20trouble Paul's got his gate number but he can't find the gate see it see it see it see it
51:54but no matter how late you are for boarding you've got to make time for the essentials excuse me
51:59we're going to get a small genuinely really needed work we really really need to go all right
52:07why don't I have on this board see where we all yeah but work oh god I'm scared I think
52:19we should
52:19run how is this even happening should all right worden back I think that's about five people that
52:25We actually do need to be really quick.
52:28The girls make their flight in the nick of time.
52:33Oh, my gosh.
52:35Meanwhile, Paul's epic journey is nearing an end.
52:38We're getting there. We're getting there.
52:41We're getting there.
52:47At last, he's tracked down gate C8.
52:52But after all that walking, he decides to take a short nap
52:55just as boarding gets underway.
52:59And as the plane fills up, Paul goes almost unnoticed behind the partition.
53:11Then, just as the gate is about to close,
53:14an eagle-eyed airport official spots him.
53:17Come on, come on.
53:26After a few anxious moments, they manage to revive him.
53:41And after checking on his well-being, Paul is helped gently on board.
53:46So it's goodbye to the airport of Smiles.
53:48But you can always get another drink on the plane.
53:51There is no pain, you are receding.
53:59Next time at Bangkok airport, it's the annual awards for customer service.
54:03I love my work. I love my job.
54:07I love tourists.
54:08But not everyone's impressed with the airport's service.
54:11That's impossible. That is impossible.
54:14That doesn't work for me at all.
54:15A British backpacker puts his foot in it.
54:18This is it from about two days later.
54:20It is quite gruesome.
54:23We meet the singing doctor with his own fan club.
54:26And more hijinks and departures.
54:29Drown passenger, they took off the clothes.
54:32Oh, that's my ass drum.
54:34When we check in again at Bangkok airport.
54:39Don't move a muscle as we've comedy coming up next
54:42as the new series of Crim's continues from behind bars.
54:46And this week, Luke's trying to keep his girlfriend Gemma
54:48out of the evil grips of Roger with the oldest trick in the book.
54:52Marriage. Keep it three.
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