- 1 day ago
Lorraine Kelly and Rosie Dalling in conversation about what it means to be kind to yourself.
Category
✨
PeopleTranscript
00:00such an important conversation to have isn't it and the world feels like a really really scary
00:04place at the moment but just being a bit kinder to ourselves is a way to feel a little bit
00:13happier
00:14about life at the moment and a bit more positive no absolutely I mean I just feel very very lucky
00:19that I've still been able to go into work every day and because and I think the feedback that
00:24we're getting from viewers is that it's very reassuring you know to see me there and to see
00:29the guys from GMB and this morning and all of the daytime shows because it because we become
00:34it's actually lovely because we sort of become people's friends if you like which is a huge
00:39honor and an amazing thing but I think it's so so important more than ever before that we actually
00:44show kindness to one another and also to ourselves I mean if we think back to those Thursdays when
00:50we were all applauding the NHS and we all felt that we were all together and I think we've maybe
00:56lost
00:57a little bit of that and we have to kind of hang on to that a bit more and and
01:01it's not like you
01:01know kindness is it's a strange one because it doesn't have to be anything huge you know it can
01:06just be little small things don't you think yeah absolutely absolutely and you're so right about
01:12how you you guys have been like our friends every day and you're you're like an anchor for us
01:19and you're on screen every day sharing messages of positivity and you are so kind and I'm wondering
01:29where does that come from um I guess it's how you're brought up isn't it really but also I just
01:36have this thing it's really really old-fashioned but my my gran always said it was that old thing
01:42do as you would be done by and actually if everybody sort of took that on board and the
01:48world would be a far kinder place but I also think things have changed a lot and and people realize
01:55you know they're talking more about mental health and they're talking more about problems that they've
02:00got and not feeling that they've got to kind of somehow soldier on you know that awful thing that
02:05people used to be told to pull yourself together and and soldier on which is ridiculous and I think
02:10now people are actually got a lot more empathy for one another and I always think as well especially
02:15with my show I'm sort of inviting people into my house in a way and you know you wouldn't treat
02:20you know if you're asking people to come and see you you're not going to treat them in a bad
02:24way I
02:24mean that's not to say that if somebody needs to be told something because actually sometimes
02:28it's kind to tell people that they're out of order you know somebody's misbehaving or somebody's
02:34silly or they're harming themselves and they might not even be aware of it I think it's really
02:39important that the kind thing to do is actually almost to call them out but it depends how you
02:45do it you know you've got to do it in a in a way that is obviously with their best
02:48interests at heart
02:49and and that can be a really powerful thing as well so yeah I mean I just feel like I
02:55say very lucky to
02:56still be going into work and we are now more than ever concentrating on positive things that people
03:01have done you know we have little kids who are baking cakes and knitting and just doing you know
03:08it seems like small tiny things but when you add it up it's a mountain of kindness you know it's
03:13fantastic absolutely and I just wanted to point out at the moment that we do have a chat box on
03:19the
03:19screen so if anyone has we're here to answer any questions that you have so if any of you have
03:26any
03:26questions then do pop into the chat box and say hello and we've also had some other questions sent
03:31in so we'll get to those as well and I was wondering Lorraine is there any particular act
03:37of kindness that was so huge that you will always remember um do you know what it's funny you say
03:45that
03:45because it is a small small thing and I remember when just after I had my daughter and you know
03:52what
03:52it's like you just had a baby and you're you know you're not feeling at your best shall we say
03:56and I really wasn't you honestly you know you put weight on for goodness sake of course you have it's
04:02perfectly natural and normal and you know I was still wearing maternity clothes or six months later
04:06and I was out with her in the pram and somebody had stopped and said oh what a beautiful baby
04:10obviously
04:11and then they said to me oh you're looking really well now this woman clearly I don't think I was
04:17but
04:17you know what that made me feel so much better she said oh you're looking at that because you
04:22obviously it's really hard and you know having a baby it's lovely but it's really hard working it was
04:26just one mother to another in the high street you know as we're going into the supermarket
04:30actually saying that just made me feel so much better so I really do make a point if I see
04:35somebody
04:35and they look fantastic or they're looking good or they're or they're struggling a wee bit just to
04:41say how are you doing you know how how are you you're right or wow you look amazing you know
04:45that's
04:46you actually almost see people growing in height absolutely because kindness is contagious and
04:55you wrote about this in your book and I really I really noticed that when I when I read it
04:59this idea of just sharing a compliment it just bolsters someone in their day but it also makes
05:07you feel better it makes you feel more powerful because you you've given a gift which is a really nice
05:13thing yeah yeah and it does make you yeah it really does I think that's the other thing you get
05:20if you're kind to someone else then they I think it is like a ripple isn't it and they give
05:26it to
05:26someone else and then you feel better yourself for you what's your what's your kind of act of kindness
05:33that you always remember and it's kind of resonated with you yeah so um when I think about kindness
05:39I I'm it's not always about how what someone does sometimes it can just be about a way that somebody
05:47is so when I was a teenager I was a bullshit teenager and quite angry and maybe quite aggressive and
05:57I
05:57always told people exactly what I thought of them unfiltered and I was remember I was at school once
06:04and um I didn't like something that my teacher had done and so I went up to her and I
06:09told her in a
06:10not very nice way because I was angry yeah and she looked at me so kindly and she asked me
06:20are you okay
06:22and it was so amazing in that moment that she was able to look beyond my behavior because she could
06:31have with she was in with her rights to give me a detention but she looked beyond that and she
06:37saw
06:37me as somebody who needed her kindness and her compassion and it's 20 years ago now but I still
06:46remember that and when I can I try to channel that for other people so if someone is behaving in
06:54a way
06:55that is triggering for me I try to to wonder what's going on for you and do you need my
07:03kindness and my
07:03compassion and when I can I give it to them sometimes it's not possible because you're not necessarily
07:12feeling in that place so yeah that's something that's really stuck with me and that's again that's
07:21you know you have learned from that and I think anybody listening to that and we all know and
07:26we've been in a situation where maybe we haven't behaved particularly well or we're confronted by
07:30somebody who's not you know whether it's in the workplace or wherever it may be and actually just
07:35saying are you okay yeah such a nice thing to do we've had a comment here yeah I always do
07:44this but
07:44my teens then are like mum you're so extra but worth it to make someone happy that's about giving the
07:51compliment I love that expression mum you're so extra but it's true and it's really important to do that
07:59and I also think what's really important too is to be a wee bit kinder to yourself because we can
08:03be
08:04especially really hard on ourselves you know whether it's that we don't feel beautiful enough we don't
08:11feel thin enough we don't feel confident enough you know all of these things that we do and then
08:16we tend to put ourselves at the bottom of a very long list you know there's the kids husband or
08:20partner then there's the pets then there's the relatives then there's the friends and then there's
08:26you away at the bottom there you are you know a wee down the bottom thinking oh my goodness me
08:30and just about just about coping and and I think sometimes actually you have to take some time out to
08:36to just be kinder to yourself again it can be something really small that just sitting you know with a
08:41a biscuit and a cup of tea reading hello it can be that you know it can be that you're
08:45guilty
08:47absolutely again you know the heart of that magazine is kindness which is which is so so
08:52important because an awful lot of other things aren't so kind and I think that again that's just
08:56good for the soul just to take goodness me just to take five minutes to yourself because you deserve
09:02it and tell yourself that you deserve it because you do and that was what I was going to ask
09:07you
09:07actually Lorraine because you have been Lorraine for all of my life there literally hasn't been a
09:14weekday when I haven't been able to wake up and see your cheerful smiling face sending positive vibes
09:22out into the world but you're only human there must be days when you are unkind to yourself
09:31oh yeah yeah does that happen oh definitely definitely and there are some days and there
09:36certainly has been in the past where it has been a wee struggle like all of us you know even
09:41though I
09:41absolutely love my job I love it but you know at the end of the day it's a job and
09:46the most important
09:46things in your life are your family and your pals but there have been days when it has been it
09:50has
09:51been quite tough but then I always think of people who have gone through dreadful dreadful times and still
09:58managed to come out of it with some sort of positivity I was just recently doing a documentary
10:03in Dunblane because it's 25 years since the the shootings there and I was talking to some of the
10:08parents and the way that they have obviously will never forget what happened but the way that they
10:13human beings are astonishing and the way that they've managed to somehow build another life and
10:19be a bit kinder to themselves is truly remarkable and really humbling and I think that when I'm always
10:25feeling a bit sort of like oh gosh you know I'm not sure it's all getting a bit on top
10:28of me we've
10:29all been like that haven't we especially now especially now it's I don't think there's one person in
10:34this country who hasn't woken up at three o'clock in the morning overwhelmed and thinking I don't have
10:40control of this situation who would have thought would be in this situation you know people that
10:44aren't able to see their their family not able to see their older relatives and care homes
10:48it's absolutely heartbreaking so we're all there and I think it's okay to not be okay and to say
10:55I'm having a wee struggle here yeah make sure you talk to somebody make sure you'd be that's about
11:00being kind to yourself it's actually just going to somebody that you that you trust and are a good
11:07friend and just saying do you know what I'm struggling a bit how are you and then you can have
11:11that chat and that's really really important because we're all we've all been there every single one of us
11:17you know as just felt anxious at this time I mean it's completely normal to feel like that of course
11:23it is absolutely absolutely there was so much in what you just said then and I think the the key
11:29message from that is that it's okay not to be okay and it's also okay to ask for help when
11:36when you need
11:37it and and that is being kind to yourself and and knowing the people who who love you and can
11:45support
11:45you and and and asking for help is is a way of being kind to yourself but also there was
11:51something
11:51about I love this idea of thinking about people who have overcome difficulties and understanding their
12:00stories of of inspiration because actually when you think about kindness and when you think about
12:07positivity it creates happiness hormones in your brain and it actually makes you happier so yeah
12:16that's why your show is so so successful and that's why hello magazine and this initiative is so successful
12:24because when we think about kindness it's good for us and it makes us happy yeah you're right I mean
12:31you say the word kind and you smile don't you you know you you just feel better and things have
12:38things
12:38have really changed I mean when I think back to when I first started working in newspapers it was a
12:43pretty
12:43toxic environment by and large and especially if you were a young girl it was quite hard and I've not
12:50you know I've seen in my career how things have changed and one of the huge things that I think
12:54has
12:54changed is there's a lot more women in charge and women tend to be there was a wee time when
12:59women
12:59felt they had to be more like men in order to succeed I don't think that happens now I don't
13:04think they pull up the ladder anymore I think it's that thing of you know extending a helping hand and
13:09I know some people um sadly you know still find that they're in a toxic environment where they work
13:15but that that is changing and that has to change I think because bosses and all of that set the
13:21tone
13:21and they've got to say a much much kinder tone and a much kinder environment for everybody because
13:28that's when people thrive that's when you get great ideas that's when people bounce off one
13:34another that's when people talk about important interesting things and they trust each other and
13:38it just you know all of these creativity just flowers but people are scared and cowed yeah this
13:45you know bosses they're not going to get the best out of their workforce so I know there was a
13:49lot of
13:49people who were who were talking earlier on about about working in an environment that was difficult
13:54and I've never understood that because if you if you're in charge of a situation doesn't matter
13:59what the work is whether it's what I do or whether it's you know working in a garage or whether
14:02it's
14:02working in a restaurant both of which I've done and it just needs bosses to realize you get the best
14:08out of people if you're kind and that doesn't mean that they walk all over you absolutely not
14:12it's the exact opposite you get more from people much much more from people as my gran said
14:18more more with honey than vinegar she says you get better results with honey than vinegar
14:27would you have any advice for someone because I think you're so right if you are in charge if
14:32you're a leader then leading with kindness is the answer but if you don't feel like a leader and
14:38you're in a situation where there isn't a lot of kindness in your environment would you have any
14:44advice to give in that scenario I think I think what you have to do and right now it's really
14:51hard
14:51because you know work getting a job is really really difficult of course it is and I do think
14:57it's about again it's about communication and you will not be the only one feeling like that
15:02you won't be there'll be other people in work who are feeling exactly the same now I don't mean
15:06that you form some sort of little cabal or anything but actually it's a good idea to just talk to
15:10people that you trust first of all and see if they're feeling like that too and if it's a massive
15:15organization you should go and see HR because the thing is this sort of behavior is not tolerated
15:20anymore it used to be and I think a lot of people still think that it is and they've got
15:25this feeling
15:26that they can't tackle the boss because they're frightened but no no no there's there's levels of
15:32behavior that just aren't accepted anymore and sometimes and you'll be surprised because I've seen
15:36it myself and you'll be surprised how that can really change and sometimes you just it's again
15:41it's this thing of if you tell someone probably I'd like to think that that that boss or that head
15:47of
15:47department or whatever they are doesn't actually know that they're being really horrible that they
15:51don't actually know maybe if it's pointed out to them in the nicest possible way and if you don't
15:56have to you know you can take it to the next level and get somebody else to do that for
16:00you
16:00and but what I would say is don't put up with it and don't put up with it and don't
16:04be quiet
16:05about it because that eats away at you and you're not doing yourself any good at all and the stress
16:11and the strain and the anxiety is just not not good for you absolutely not it's that thing of talking
16:17it doesn't matter what situation it is you've actually got to talk to one another I think you
16:22also made another really good point there which is that negative feelings actually hurt you just as
16:31much as they as they hurt the other person so if you can try to let go of those negative
16:39feelings
16:39and forgive and if you can't then I think it's important to get out of that kind of scenario
16:44I agree yeah I agree I mean I did a series on forgiveness and the power of forgiveness is
16:52remarkable I mean it's people who had people had done terrible things to them but they said when they
16:58actually forgave the power came back to them it was quite remarkable it really was even in situations
17:05where you know they've been in the worst possible that you could imagine and they've actually they've
17:12said no I'm going to I'm going to forgive this person I'm not going to let them have control over
17:15my life anymore because it's damaging to me and and that was that was remarkable I'll never forget
17:22some of the stories because they were quite extraordinary and there was one man his daughter very sadly
17:27had been killed and he forgave the person who who did that now I don't know if I could do
17:32that I
17:33really don't I really don't and you know nobody wants to be in that situation but he said it was
17:37the best thing that he ever did because he was able to get on with his life never forget never
17:41forget
17:41um and somehow live with it but he was able then he just felt as if this person isn't dragging
17:46me under
17:47anymore it's fascinating isn't it yeah absolutely and I love what you said about him taking the power
17:53back for himself because that was something that he could do he he could it wasn't his power to forgive
18:00shall we open it up and encourage you to ask some questions we've had some sent in and also if
18:08you have
18:08any if you are on this zoom call then please do send some through shall I read one out at
18:16the moment
18:17okay here's one I've been suffering from panic attacks and struggle to be kind to myself I feel
18:23completely beaten down by them do you have any advice first of all fantastic that you've actually
18:30got in touch because that's the first step isn't it that's the first step is recognizing it you've got
18:35to try and get some help I know it's difficult right now if you feel that you can't really talk
18:40to
18:40someone or sometimes people still feel they shouldn't but they still feel a little bit I shouldn't be
18:45talking about this your GP honestly I know that I know that we keep hearing they're snowed under but
18:50actually an awful lot of them are doing zoom calls right now make sure that you talk to somebody don't
18:55because you don't have to put up with this you really really don't but do bear in mind that so
19:02many people feel exactly the same you're absolutely not alone so many people are feeling that this is
19:07quite natural to feel anxious and but we don't want you having panic attacks that's not great and there's
19:13lots of things that can be done lots of things that can be done so you shouldn't be sitting there
19:17suffering make sure you get some proper expert help and before it tips over and gets it gets worse but
19:24you've made the first step by getting in touch with us that's brilliant brilliant well done I completely
19:29agree I think it's so important to reach out and ask for help one of the things that happens when
19:34you
19:34have a panic attack or when you have anxiety at all is that there's another layer that goes on top
19:40of
19:40that and that is frustration at yourself at experiencing this but also um there's a lot
19:49of shame around it I know that which there shouldn't be there shouldn't be we're getting better but
19:56yeah with an older generation you know my generation um I still have got that oh you know you have
20:02to
20:02have a stiff upper lip and it's all that put yourself together nonsense and we've got to get over
20:06that because it doesn't do anybody any good at all yeah and so when you're feeling that in the moment
20:11and you are sometimes you're you're you're overcome with that feeling of of shame and panic and oh no I
20:17can't believe this is happening again and this is going to be so embarrassing because it's in front of
20:21people something that I always do with my clients is I get them to put their hand on their heart
20:27and I ask them to say even though I'm experiencing this at the moment I love and accept myself anyway
20:37and just by offering yourself that compassion and those words even though is so important at releasing
20:47that layer of fear and that layer of shame so that you can actually deal with the panic
20:55that's a really brilliant idea I love that it just brings you back
21:01yeah back down to earth back into the present okay we have got another one here how do you stop
21:09expecting yourself expecting others to act in a kind way like you would and therefore stop being
21:16disappointed when they don't oh dear that's a really really difficult one isn't it I do think I do
21:23actually think though that if you you know if you do a kind act if it gets thrown back at
21:29you
21:29that's a real shame but it's not your problem you know you're not the one that should be beating
21:33yourself up about it it's their problem not yours and I honestly do believe that nine times out of ten
21:38if you do something kind for someone they will be very appreciative and they and then they will pass it
21:45on they will pass it on for sure so yeah and I don't think don't think about being disappointed
21:50concentrate on the people that actually said thank you and said thank you so much for being kind
21:57don't don't concentrate on the negativity at all just you know and but don't expect people to always
22:03say thank you so much or whatever just put it out there and then see what happens but and don't
22:08have
22:09expectations because that you know some people just won't be that nice sadly yeah but that's true
22:18problem that's not your problem that's their problem I think that's that's very true and there's also
22:22something about kindness which is that it really should be for its own sake it shouldn't be to get
22:29something back it should be is its own reward so and I think it's an opportunity to lead with kindness
22:40it's an opportunity to to model kindness and to feel good about yourself because you know that you're a
22:46kind person and as you say if someone isn't in a position where they're able to be kind then I
22:53think
22:53that again add some curiosity and just say I wonder without without spending too much time thinking
22:59about them I wonder what's going on in their life that means they're not able to be kind at this
23:04moment and then as you say just move on move on okay we've had some from the Albright chat so
23:12how many
23:13chances would you give a person my case is ex-partner who has alcoholic issues and I'm wondering if I
23:20should go back to him or not oh that's a really really difficult one if there's any sort of
23:28hint of any sort of um unacceptable behavior then no I don't think you can and by unacceptable behavior
23:36obviously I mean if you do or psychologically abused physically no absolutely I think that's a really
23:45difficult one because it depends on the situation and I don't know and that blends in outside the
23:50situation I think though you have to give people a chance to show that their behavior has changed
23:58sometimes sometimes it's that thing of the pain sometimes is say okay I'm not enabling anymore and
24:05I'm going to walk away from this now and you come back to me when you are better and when
24:10you have
24:10sorted yourself out because actually I can't do it for you anymore and that's hard that's really really
24:16hard to do but sometimes that's the kindest thing to do so I think it depends how many times you've
24:21been down or how many times you've been disappointed and if it's like if it's a like a circle it's
24:26just
24:27it's happening happening happening I think sometimes you've got to break up and then you've just got to
24:31say I've done all I can I've done all this to this affect you especially getting your happy and your
24:37well-being then you can't you know you just can't keep saying to somebody okay I forgive you I forgive
24:44you but I would give you know a couple of chances for sure what you don't want to do is
24:49get into
24:49and you've seen this before Rosie getting into that sort of situation where you're enabling this
24:54behavior that's the worst thing you can do isn't it yeah and that's not kind is it
25:00no no it's not you think it is you probably you're doing the best thing but you're maybe not
25:04yeah I I think given the the tone of this question I think that you know the answer that's my
25:14my
25:14suspicion and I think it's a real opportunity for you to take some time to look after yourself
25:24and assess because it I think it's probably quite quite damaging to be in a relationship
25:28like that and so it's a time for you to heal and then you need to ask yourself the question
25:35what would someone who loves themselves do and I think there you will get your answer because
25:43you may love him I'm sure you do love him but you have to love yourself more and that's where
25:51you're going to get your your answer as hard as it is okay we've got another this is a lovely
25:59question I'm starting a new job and I would love to shine and be the best me especially in front
26:07of my
26:07new boss who is expecting good things I'm super worried about reaching out for help if I need to
26:13in case they regret hiring me what is your advice
26:19oh actually hey to ask for help if you're a new person I just think if you're the new person
26:25in
26:25any job you've got to be super super excited but also really really helpful it's that thing of I
26:32always say to anybody that comes into us especially if they're starting off as a as a runner and running
26:37around and you know working me up it always asks what you can do and is there anything I can
26:43do
26:44and if you don't understand something please ask because people would much much rather you ask
26:50than you going away and trying to do it and then getting yourself in a tizzy and then maybe not
26:55doing
26:55it quite right and I think to be honest with you with that sort of attitude that the way that
27:00question
27:00is framed you are going to be absolutely fine because you're already aware that of what you have to
27:06do in that situation so I think you'll be absolutely fine just just be enthusiastic just you know be
27:12be helpful just soak everything up like a sponge ask where it's okay to ask questions and the worst
27:18thing is not you know you want to you want to get as much experience and as much information as
27:22you can
27:22but it's all about being curious being interested being switched on and and and looking like you
27:28really want to be there as well which of course you do yeah I love that and also I think
27:34you have to
27:35realize the value that you are bringing it at that moment so you are not walking in as somebody who's
27:44been in that company for 10 years you are walking in as someone who is a new person with fresh
27:50energy
27:51and fresh ideas and fresh eyes and fresh questions and that is the value that you bring so don't expect
28:01that they're expecting something else because they've hired you for good reason so I think as
28:06you say Lorraine the way that that question was phrased suggests that this person's very conscientious and
28:11is going to be
28:16okay let's have another one okay how as a mum how can you be kind to yourself without taking away
28:24from
28:25your family gosh I think to be honest with you I think you'll take things away from your family if
28:31you're not kind to yourself because if you don't have a little bit of time for you or you don't
28:36sometimes just um and I mean I'm terrible because I am the worst person not to do all of these
28:41things
28:41I mean I sometimes buy like nice bubble bath and it and I think well this will be good and
28:46then it
28:46just sits there and you have to actually use it you have to use it nice cream in your face
28:52and nice
28:53things because it's not going to work by osmosis you know so I think I think actually in order for
28:58your family to thrive you have to be happy and you have to be contented and you have to take
29:03a little
29:04bit more care of yourself and look after yourself so don't do not feel guilty if you're having that
29:09bubble bath and lighting a couple of gorgeous candles or if you can or even like I say just sitting
29:14for five minutes reading your favorite magazine and that's that's what you should that's what you need
29:19to do you cannot keep you cannot keep all the time because what you'll do is you will get stressed
29:24and you will get anxious and you'll take that out on your family you'll get ratty and nobody wants that
29:29so you have to kind of just it's a it's a balance thing isn't it Rosie it's a balance thing
29:34yeah
29:35absolutely and I think you have to remember that putting yourself to the top of the list is not only
29:44the best thing for you but it's the best thing for everyone else around you and just remembering
29:52that is is the most important thing because if you do it with guilt if you have your bubble bath
29:59with guilt you're not going to get the benefit from it if you go out for a walk by yourself
30:05and feel
30:05guilty the whole time then what was the point yes and I think also we are a society that really
30:13values good judgment at the moment but I wish that we could put a bit more value on suspending
30:22judgment because when you are able to suspend your judgment that opens the door to possibility
30:32and opportunity and curiosity so expecting that if you take away from your if you spend time by yourself
30:42you're taking away from your family that's the judgment and but if you can say I wonder what
30:49would happen if I was to take a bit of time for myself then you would see the possibilities
30:57definitely definitely of course yeah and don't feel guilty about it at all okay we've probably got time
31:04for one more question so let's have a look some uh okay it's so important to be kind and supportive
31:12of others and it feels so good when you do but I worry that by supporting others I will disappear
31:19is that selfish I think that's no that's not selfish at all that's very astute um and actually
31:28something that I think we all have to bear in mind because you know if you're always on transmit and
31:33not receive you're you're going to you're going to run on empty aren't you you're going to actually
31:37find yourself utterly exhausted and we've all felt like that at one time or another especially you
31:43know especially at this time in our lives and you know we're all feeling the strain and everything
31:47and I don't think that's bad at all I think you I think we all know our limit I think
31:52we all know
31:53when we've just got to sort of say look okay I I don't it's not that I don't want to
31:57help you it's
31:58not that I don't want to hear it but just maybe not quite not now I will get back to
32:02you it's
32:02actually all right again you know okay but we're so bad at doing that aren't we we're so we really
32:09aren't very good at sort of good I mean I am the worst at saying no I've only got it's
32:13only recently
32:13that I've actually said I'm really sorry I can't actually do that and do you know what Rosie
32:18it was okay they asked me I thought people are not going to like me or they're going to say
32:22oh
32:22no she's horrible they actually went oh yeah I totally understand no problem at all we'll get
32:27back to you in a few months or we'll get back to you and I'm like oh right okay so
32:31sometimes people
32:32are actually much more forgiving and understanding than you would think and if you're not in a great
32:38place it's actually okay to say you know that I've said a couple of times over the in fact just
32:42over
32:42the past couple of weeks I'm really sorry I'm snowed under and I would love to help this charity
32:47I would love to help you because I just can't do it right at this very moment but get back
32:52to me
32:53and I will you know I'll sort it and it'll be fine and I found it really hard to do
32:58that actually
32:59and they were like oh yeah that's fine yeah no problem at all you know we're all still going to
33:02be here we're all everyone's you know we're still going to need help in the next few weeks or months
33:07or
33:07years we will get back and that and and thank you for all the help that you've done before and
33:11I was
33:11oh okay that's good it made me feel a lot a lot better actually because there's nothing worse than
33:17feeling like you've somehow let someone down or you're not doing as much as you possibly can but
33:22you know sometimes you've got you there's just not enough hours in the day and you just at that
33:26just at that time you can't do it that's all do you know it's so refreshing to hear you talking
33:32like
33:33that Lorraine because you know we as I say we all see you and you're so positive but you also
33:39look so
33:41confident and sure of yourself so to know that you have the same worries as all of us but if
33:49you say
33:50no people aren't going to like you that's that's very refreshing for all of us to hear but it's also
33:58really good to know that you've tried it and it was okay it was all right and I couldn't believe
34:05it
34:05and then I felt like it's all it's actually it's actually fine okay I mean I don't I don't feel
34:10like
34:11a particularly confident person I think as you get older I mean if you're going to say I'm 61 at
34:15the end of
34:15this month which I say that to you know can't believe it I feel about 18 in my head but
34:19you know
34:21well it's it's only it's only as you get a little bit older I think that you are you sometimes
34:26with age
34:26you do become a little bit kinder to yourself because sometimes you've learned the hard way or
34:31you just think you know what this is my time now and I know a lot of women who particularly
34:36if they're
34:36going through the menopause or they're either going through or through it and sort of say this is my
34:41this is my time now and and a lot of us unfortunately a lot of us have like if you
34:47do have younger
34:48children and then you've got older parents and you're the wee sandwich filling that's very very very
34:52difficult and that's when you really have to take some time to yourself and make sure that you don't
34:58disappear as our last question said because I know what she means by that I really do and but it
35:03really
35:03is I mean honestly we've got to be kinder kinder to one another but also kinder to ourselves as well
35:10it's so it sounds so simple doesn't it and it actually is it's just getting into that mindset and
35:18kindness is also a practice isn't it I think that's the thing it's remembering to be kind to
35:24yourself and trying to do it every day and a little practice that I do with my daughter every night
35:30we
35:31we have our pick of three different questions and it's either what are you thankful for today
35:38or what are you proud of today or what is a kindness that has happened today and it can either
35:45be something that you did for someone else or that someone else did for you and it is it never
35:53fails
35:53to raise a smile from us and it's it's the most lovely feeling so it's a really it's a really
36:00nice
36:00thing to do and I highly recommend that that's a brilliant thing to do I really like that because
36:05like today I know it sounds mad but Mark Hayes brought in these little masks because you know
36:10obviously all masks and he brought in these little masks for everyone and they were they had like
36:15sequins on them like strictly come dancing sequins oh the silliest things and they were really funny
36:22and everybody just felt so much better I mean he's like Santa Claus he's brilliant so he was given he
36:27was given these I mean they were all sealed off and everything was all safe and everything like that
36:31but it was just lovely and I will definitely wear that and if I saw somebody in the street wearing
36:36a sequined mask it would make me smile and Dr Hillary he's got a brilliant one he's got a big
36:41blue mask
36:42and it actually says the word smile on it oh and you can't fail to smile can you yeah you
36:50smile well you
36:50smile at Dr Hillary anyway but you smile doubly when you see that but we don't happen to wear masks
36:55and
36:55work until we get into the studio and sit down and then we can we can take our masks off
36:59but his one I just think it's great and some people have got big grins on their face and all
37:02that I just think it's it just makes me laugh and it's funny and it's just yeah why not
37:09amazing well Lorraine thank you so much to talk for talking to me today it has really been the most
37:17lovely positive experience it's been so gorgeous and hasn't it been great to be part of the hello to
37:24kindness summit I love it I love it I've got my hello I've got my necklace on as well my
37:29lovely
37:29kindness necklace which is beautiful I love that and and also yeah I just I just love to be part
37:35of
37:35something with kindness it's it's it's very much like what our show is like and hello has got that
37:40in their DNA you know really be kind and I've always been like that even when it wasn't very fashionable
37:46you know because there was a time when people were a bit more smart and smarty pants and all of
37:50that
37:51and right on and everything and that's gone now so that's good and being kind is what how we should
37:55all be everybody I think that is a perfect place to say thank you everybody thank you for watching
38:04and happy world kindness day oh thank you Rosie thank you so much
Comments