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Transcript
00:00This hot guy is my secret crush.
00:10This is Luke, the star of the whole school, and everyone loves me.
00:17And I, a person with excess body weight.
00:24I starved myself crazy to lose weight.
00:26That day after practice, I almost fainted from hunger on the sidelines of the field.
00:31Luke caught me out of nowhere and dragged me to the campus cafeteria.
00:35He held back his anger.
00:39What the hell, will you stop dieting already?
00:42Anyone makes fun of your weight, I'll handle it.
00:45Got it?
00:51But the day I confessed by the volleyball court after afternoon practice,
00:58After I mumbled, I like you, twisting the hem of my hoodie.
01:02I like you.
01:02The one who reacted the most wasn't Luke.
01:05It was Chad, star football player leaning against the net post.
01:08What? Chloe, you're actually obsessed with Luke?
01:12His loud voice carried straight across the entire beach volleyball court.
01:17Everyone can hear it.
01:18The entire beach volleyball court fell silent for a second.
01:22Then burst into louder laughs.
01:25Damn, Luke's got game.
01:27Even the heavy girl tracked him down to the court to confess.
01:30Yo, Luke!
01:32You turned down all those hot girls just for this?
01:34That's hilarious!
01:35Luke stopped smiling, twisting his volleyball wristband, and stared at me.
01:40You serious?
01:42My face burned.
01:43I stared at my shoes, not saying a word.
01:46I didn't mean to draw this big of a crowd.
01:48Should have waited till he was alone after practice.
01:52A loud crash cut me off, Luke suddenly stood up.
01:54With a swift motion, a volleyball flew past my ear and landed on the ground behind me.
02:00Everyone went quiet when they saw he was actually mad.
02:03He looked down at me with that mocking smirk.
02:06Real question.
02:08What made you think I'd say yes?
02:10You think I got bad taste or something?
02:13Hey, fat ass.
02:14You don't think you're kind of gross?
02:17I could not take it anymore.
02:19I ran into the restroom and locked, myself inside a stall.
02:25Suddenly, Diana walked in with a group of people
02:30and splashed a bucket of water on me.
02:34I stood there without moving.
02:36Cold water dipped from my hair onto the floor.
02:40Look in a mirror before you embarrass Lucas.
02:46I'd been teased about my weight my whole life and grew super introverted.
02:50Until Luke sat next to me.
02:52He never judged me.
02:53And even snapped at people who joked about my size.
02:57That's boring.
02:58Back when I just wanted a sweet high school romance, Luke was my whole source of dopamine.
03:03But that day, he dumped a bucket of cold water right over me.
03:07Turns out miracles never happen to nerdy fat girls like me.
03:11But I never saw him come back that day.
03:14Luke rubbed his temples and walked out.
03:16His friend came over to switch his seat with the teacher's permission.
03:21The guy gave me an awkward smile.
03:24Uh, Luke went home sick with a stomach bug.
03:27Said he wanted a new seat.
03:29He caught my blank stare and quickly added,
03:31It's not about you! Don't overthink it!
03:33I blinked back stinging eyes, my chest tight.
03:37Why was I such a freak just for eating half a portion more mac and cheese,
03:40or one extra chicken tender?
03:42I stared at my chubby hands and decided to stop daydreaming about being prom queen.
03:50Three days later, Luke showed up in the hallway with his arm around Diana, the cheer captain.
03:55Diana did competitive dance 5'6", 92 pounds.
03:59Me, Chloe, 5'4", 140 pounds.
04:04Chad the football player teased.
04:06Luke's finally off the market, huh? You serious or just messing around?
04:10Diana pouted, fake offended.
04:12What?
04:14You think I let just anyone put their arm around me?
04:17Luke raised an eyebrow, letting her claim stand.
04:20All his friends whooped and whistled.
04:22I stayed hard at my SAT prep book, my grip on the highlighter loosening.
04:27At least no one cared about that whole incident anymore.
04:29No one was teasing me.
04:31That was good enough.
04:32For a long time after that, Luke and I never crossed paths.
04:36I got used to working alone, pulled up in the library studying for the SATs,
04:40still less than a year away.
04:42On that practice test, I got a perfect score in AP Lit beat Ethan,
04:46the GPA obsessed nerd, for the first time.
04:49Right after class, he asked the teacher if he could sit next to me,
04:52and became my new desk mate.
04:55Mr. Davis said my essay sucks.
04:57Told me to learn from you.
04:58New partner, nice to meet you.
05:00It took me a second to realize I had a desk mate again.
05:03I was kind of happy.
05:05I eagerly handed him my vocabulary notebook and gave a small smile.
05:09Here, I just memorized all this.
05:12Thanks.
05:13I looked up by accident and caught Luke staring from across the room, cold faced.
05:20I didn't realize he was that disgusted by my confession, disgusted that he hated seeing me even a little happy.
05:26The next day, my new partner Ethan brought me two fresh cinnamon rolls.
05:31For me?
05:32Yeah, thanks for the notes.
05:35A quiet scoff cut through the air.
05:38Damn, bro. Didn't know you had such low standards.
05:42What's that supposed to mean, Luke?
05:44There's a meme of a plus size obese woman on the table.
05:48For you. Since you're into that, right?
05:50I can bring you bigger poters tomorrow if you want.
05:53Ethan shot up, red-faced, and yelled,
05:56Why the hell would I be into a pig?!
05:58Luke didn't even get mad.
05:59He just raised an eyebrow and drawled.
06:01Oh, my bad. Saw you switch seats.
06:04Thought you were into her.
06:06My bad.
06:07All his friends whooped, making us the center of attention again.
06:10Ethan muttered a curse,
06:12grabbed his things and ran off.
06:15Neither of them even looked at me the whole time.
06:17But every word was about shaming me.
06:19I stared at the meme on the desk.
06:21My cinnamon roll went cold and I didn't take a single bite.
06:25Before Luke walked away, I forced out a dry voice.
06:28Why are you doing this?
06:30What, you that desperate for attention?
06:32You throw yourself at every guy that sits next to you?
06:37After that day, not just Ethan,
06:39every guy in our grade avoided me like the plague.
06:42The cheerleaders and most other girls didn't want to talk to me either.
06:45Everyone loved those bubbly, California sunshine-type girls.
06:49I was just super introverted.
06:51Like under-baked dough straight from the oven.
06:54Not pretty. Not nice.
06:56Stuck at the very bottom of the high school food chain.
06:58Even so, I never went back to dieting.
07:01Then, it started pouring out of nowhere.
07:03Hard, fast, raining.
07:05Everyone screamed and ran for the gym doors.
07:08I didn't even make it out of the sandpit by the field when my knee dislocated hard.
07:12I went straight down into the wet mud.
07:14When the bone popped back in, the pain was excruciating.
07:18I lay on my side in the muck.
07:20Too hurt to sit up.
07:22Then, two pairs of expensive sneakers stopped next to me.
07:26Rain poured into my mouth as I begged.
07:28I can't stand up.
07:29Please, can you help me?
07:32The person stopped.
07:33A few seconds later, he pulled his leg away.
07:37Can't.
07:37It was Luke's voice.
07:39Told you you should have lost weight.
07:40Now you can't even run.
07:42Fell over like a bowling ball.
07:44Luke held a big black umbrella over Diana.
07:47They made me look even more pathetic.
07:49Soaked through like a drowned rat.
07:51Luke's face was blank.
07:52No pity at all.
07:54His cold voice cutting through the rain.
07:58Even with rain filling my mouth, my throat felt like sand.
08:01I couldn't make another sound.
08:03I just tried to push myself up, desperate.
08:05I could hear the mean comments from the gym doors.
08:08She doesn't look like she's faking.
08:10Her knees messed up.
08:11Should we help her?
08:12Go ahead if you're into tank-sized girls.
08:15F-K off.
08:16Who said I liked fat chicks?
08:18Still couldn't stand.
08:19Just sat there, numb.
08:21I forced myself to think about what grandma would make for dinner tonight.
08:25At the end of the day, I pulled myself up out of the mud all alone.
08:29The laughs and whiskers from the gym doors followed me the whole way.
08:32I didn't dare look back.
08:34I dragged my hurt leg all the way to campus security,
08:37used their phone to call out sick and go to the ER.
08:40Grandma heard about my dislocated kneecap and decided my weight was putting too much stress on my joints.
08:45She started strictly counting my calories, said she'd get me in shape for prom and protect my knee.
08:50I stayed home two days before limping back to school.
08:53Grandma only let me have one slice of low-fat avocado toast for breakfast, and I was miserable.
08:58Then my teacher walked in with a new student.
09:01The guy dressed super weird black mask, baseball cap pulled low, whole face hidden in shadow.
09:09The teacher scanned the room and pointed to the empty seat next to me.
09:13Symas, you can sit next to Chloe.
09:15Then she left.
09:16Sylas pulled out the chair and sat down.
09:18Neither of us said a word.
09:23Yo, Luke, check this guy. Looks like a Halloween ghost, face all covered.
09:27You think he's some disfigured freak?
09:29Diana sat on Luke's lap and giggled.
09:32Obviously.
09:33Hot guys don't hide their faces.
09:35Ghost freak?
09:36And the fat girl.
09:37Ultimate loser couple right there.
09:42Luke didn't react at all.
09:44He just spun his pen around, stone-faced, and said nothing.
09:49Sylas and I went almost a month without saying a word to each other.
09:52I just didn't want to talk.
09:54I don't want what happened to anything to happen again.
09:58But at lunch that day, I noticed him hunched over his desk, hand clamped to his stomach, broad shoulders shaking
10:05a little.
10:05I hesitated, then walked over.
10:08Hey, you got a stomach ache or something?
10:10After a second, he grunted a yeah from his throat.
10:13Yeah.
10:15He was obviously in bad shape.
10:17Come on, I'll take you to the nurse.
10:19Thankfully, he didn't flinch away from touching a fat girl like me.
10:24Most of his weight leaning on me.
10:26Good thing I was sturdy.
10:27I never would have been able to hold him up otherwise.
10:29The nurse gave him painkillers and told me to go get him a hot bowl of chicken noodle soup from
10:33the cafeteria.
10:34I ran there and back, huffing and puffing.
10:37When I got back, Sylas was alone in the nurse's office.
10:41You act like you hate me, but you still played hero?
10:43Huh?
10:44I blinked confused.
10:46I don't hate you.
10:47I thought you hated me, so I didn't want to bother you.
10:51Real nice of you, partner.
10:56Why would I hate you?
10:57I licked my dry lips and shrugged.
10:59Because I'm fat.
11:01Sylas let out a low, warm laugh.
11:03His eyes were deep and nice, like a calm lake on a quiet day.
11:07I just knew he wasn't some disfigured freak like Chad and everyone said.
11:11After that day, the wall between Sylas and I slowly came down.
11:15But he still kept to himself, never took off his mask or hat around people.
11:19Never talked to anyone but me.
11:21And my weight was changing fast, too.
11:24Before I knew it, I was down to 128 pounds.
11:28Grandma was so proud, said at 115 I'd fit into the hottest prom dress there was.
11:33Funny enough, the first person at school who noticed was Luke.
11:36During lunch that day, I sat on a bench on the lawn, forcing down a sad, low-fat chicken salad
11:42Grandma packed.
11:43I grabbed my tote and was heading back to class.
11:46Luke walked right up and grabbed my wrist hard.
11:48You starving yourself again?
11:50I tried to yank free and rolled my eyes.
11:53None of your business.
11:54Luke, let go.
11:55He didn't let go.
11:56He just started pulling me toward the cafeteria.
11:59You're gonna pass out from low blood sugar, you know that?
12:03You wanna collapse on the sidewalk and wait for an ambulance?
12:05I warned him one last time.
12:07Let go or I'll bite your hand off!
12:09Luke laughed, angry.
12:11He let go of my wrist and smirked.
12:14You really love throwing kindness back in people's faces, huh?
12:17Looked him dead in the eye and said one word.
12:21Fake.
12:22Then I turned and walked straight to class, no looking back.
12:28The classroom was almost empty, just a few nerds catching up on homework.
12:32Silas was at his desk.
12:33He was hunched over again, and I rushed over.
12:37Your stomach acting up again?
12:40I wanted to get more meds, but I'm too dizzy to remember where the nurse's office is.
12:45Saw you from the window earlier, almost asked for help, but...
12:49You were busy with that jock.
12:51Didn't want to interrupt.
12:56Chloe, it hurts so bad, I think I'm gonna die.
13:01I'll run and get you medicine right now, hold on!
13:04Silas pressed a hand to his stomach and slowly stood up.
13:08I'll come with you, show me the way.
13:09I held his arm carefully, and we walked downstairs.
13:12Right at the stairwell, we ran into Luke, coming up.
13:15Silas stumbled a little, leaning his weight against me, shoulder to shoulder.
13:19I can't walk, just... let me lean on you for ten seconds, okay?
13:23I almost pushed him away, but I could hear how much pain he was in.
13:27I let him stay.
13:28Luke's face went ice cold when he saw us.
13:31Luke!
13:31But Chad and Diana called out to him from behind.
13:34Chad whooped when he saw us.
13:36Holy shit, fat ass and the ghost freak?
13:40What is this, some weird gross couple thing?
13:44Silas, who'd been barely standing a second ago, straightened up like a board.
13:48His eyes went sharp, cold as ice.
13:52What did you just call her?
13:54Fat sis!
13:55Am I blind?
13:57If she's skinny, then I'm a toothpick.
14:00Silas's mouth curved under the mask, cold and sharp.
14:03Nah, you're not fat.
14:05You're just all talk and no bite.
14:07Before Chad could throw a punch, I grabbed Silas's wrist and ran like hell.
14:16We hid in the nurse's office, and I finally caught my breath.
14:20Thanks for that, by the way.
14:22But don't mess with guys like him.
14:24He's won state wrestling awards.
14:26You'd end up in the hospital.
14:29He was being mean to you.
14:31Chloe, I'm never gonna let anyone be mean to you.
14:34Period.
14:36The next day, Chad showed up with a black and blue face, limping bad.
14:40No way it was some random guy off campus.
14:43No one around here can kick my ass that bad except Luke.
14:47I'm gonna find that hooded piece of shit and kill him.
14:51Quit your whining. Listen, I heard the front office talking.
14:54Some billionaire heir from Wall Street is going your senior year, laying low.
14:58Went to fancy private school in Europe, speaks three languages, already got into Ivy League early.
15:05Bro, who do you think it is?
15:06Bro, who do you think it is?
15:07I already got into Ivy League early. Bro, who do you think it is?
15:11I was still processing the gossip when I looked up and caught Silas's eyes calm.
15:17Chloe, can you show me how to do this one?
15:21Grandma told me to stop at 115, but my appetite shrank so much with studying and stress that I was
15:27down to 90 pounds at 5'4".
15:31Winter turned to spring. Before I knew it, SATs were only a month away.
15:36Diana, in charge of costumes for the spring musical, was going down the list asking for sizes.
15:41She stood at the front, calling names one by one.
15:45When she got to me,
15:47Chloe, I don't think standard sizes will fit you.
15:51You'll probably need a custom costume.
15:54I looked up for my test.
15:57I wear a small, actually.
16:04The whole class went silent.
16:06Then everyone turned to look at me.
16:08The shock on their faces told me no one had noticed, except Simus and Luke.
16:13Damn, is that actually Chloe?
16:16Told you she'd be hot when she lost weight?
16:18Diana's face went sour real fast.
16:20All those staring faces made me uncomfortable.
16:23Ethan, who hadn't talked to me in forever, looked straight up stunned.
16:27It made me even more awkward.
16:29I'd never had people look at me like that before.
16:31I was used to the shocked looks about how much I ate.
16:34Whoa, Chloe, you ate a whole large pizza?
16:36No way, one plate of pata isn't enough for you?
16:39I can barely finish mine.
16:41Chloe, how do you eat a hot dog in three bites?
16:43Ethan's ears went pink when I looked at him.
16:46He cleared his throat and said loud,
16:48Miss Carter said auditions are still open, right?
16:51Chloe has a great voice.
16:52She should try out for lead.
16:54Diana always auditioned, and with her dance background,
16:57she almost always got the lead.
16:59Diana forced a smile.
17:00Chloe's shorter than me.
17:01I don't know if she could pull off a lead dress.
17:03Ethan shrugged.
17:04She's prettier than you, though.
17:06They can just buy a new dress.
17:07Chad, who always hated me, scoffed and stood up.
17:09What's that about?
17:10You sticking up for the fat girl now that she's skinny?
17:13You into her or something?
17:15Ethan glanced at me quick, almost bitter.
17:17So what if I am? It's not like she'd go for me anyway.
17:19Something in that set Luke off.
17:21He slammed his cup down so hard it shattered.
17:23The whole room went quiet.
17:24Luke just went,
17:25Oh, slipped.
17:27That killed the conversation.
17:28Luke cut his palm picking up the glass.
17:30He didn't even flinch.
17:31When he got to my desk, blood was dripping off his fingertips onto the floor.
17:36He nodded at my box of band-aids.
17:38Hey, you got a band-aid?
17:39Cut my hand on the glass.
17:41Silas huffed a laugh next to me.
17:43He tugged the trash bag hanging between our desks and said dryly,
17:47Hey, look at this bag.
17:48He paused, then added lazy.
17:49Full of crap.
17:50I looked away from Silas and shook my head at Luke.
17:53No, he could bleed out for all I cared.
17:55No idea why he had to ask me.
17:57Luke didn't look surprised.
17:58His face went pale.
18:00He spoke even quieter.
18:01Got it.
18:02His voice was so soft, it almost got lost in the air.
18:05I ended up getting the lead in the spring musical.
18:07After that, everything changed.
18:09First time I showed up on the anonymous gossip page.
18:12First time people asked for my Snapchat.
18:14First time so many people were nice to me.
18:16Guys and girls both.
18:17Even some guy from another class showed up between classes.
18:20Chloe, I bought an extra Frappuccino.
18:23It's for you.
18:23I said no, like always.
18:25No, thank you.
18:26But Silas called the guy back before he could leave.
18:28Chloe, I think my blood sugar's low.
18:30I want that Frappuccino, but I forgot my money.
18:33What do I do?
18:34It's okay, I have money.
18:35I pulled out my wallet, counted out five dollars,
18:37and handed it to the guy.
18:38Can I buy it from you?
18:39My deskmate wants it.
18:40The guy just stared, mad, but with nothing to say.
18:43Hanging out with Silas was easy.
18:45Even after all those people started being nice to me,
18:47he was still my only real friend.
18:49Naturally, rumors started about us.
18:51I heard Chloe, the new hot girl from third period,
18:53has a thing for the ghost guy.
18:55Wild.
18:56I saw his face once.
18:56He's all disfigured.
18:57Super gross.
18:58Yeah, me too.
18:59Burn scars all over.
19:00Chloe likes kissing that lumpy mess.
19:02But Silas never took off his mask or hat around anyone.
19:04He even ate alone.
19:05If it wasn't for me, people wouldn't be talking trash about him.
19:08So I started pulling away.
19:10Silas noticed.
19:11One morning during homeroom, after a long silence, he said quiet.
19:14Chloe, you can switch seats if you want.
19:16I blinked confused.
19:18Huh?
19:18I'm used to being alone.
19:19You don't have to be seen with someone like me.
19:22Everyone says I'm ugly and gross, that I don't deserve to be around you.
19:25You should get a new desk mate.
19:27Who said that?
19:28Doesn't matter.
19:28He smirked bitter.
19:30Silas always stood up for me when people called me fat.
19:33Now it was my turn.
19:34I found those guys, turned them down flat, and warned them.
19:37If you keep spreading rumors, I will go straight to the principal and have this handled under the school's bullying
19:42protocol.
19:44When Silas found out, he put his head in his hands, shoulders shaking silently.
19:49I thought he was crying, upset.
19:51I patted his shoulder.
19:52No one's gonna say mean stuff about you anymore.
19:54Okay?
19:55His shoulders shook harder.
19:57I decided, very logically, that he was just really touched.
20:00Nothing else bad happened all the way through finals.
20:02The only big gossip right before graduation was that Luke and Diana broke up.
20:06Luke broke up with Diana.
20:07After school, Silas and I were walking ahead.
20:09Behind us, Chad tried to comfort Luke.
20:11Dude, don't be sad.
20:12There's better girls out there.
20:14Luke walked right past me, slow and casual.
20:16As he passed, he stared straight ahead and said flatly,
20:19Why would I be sad?
20:21I never even liked her.
20:22Sarah suddenly raised his finger toward the back and gave a meaningless lip gesture.
20:26Hey, sounds like a dog barking over there.
20:30I checked my answers after the test.
20:32I'd aced it.
20:33Way better than I expected.
20:35We're going to organize the final graduation party.
20:43When I got there, Luke was leaning against a tree outside the restaurant, cigarette in hand.
20:48He was staring right at me, and it made my skin crawl.
20:51I looked away and tried to walk past him.
20:54Luke stepped in front of me, blocking my path, towering over me in the shadow.
20:59What is wrong with you?
21:01I tried to push him away, but he grabbed my wrist easy.
21:03He looked down at me, half-smoking.
21:05No matter what I say, you're never going to give me a chance, are you?
21:08I looked away.
21:09I have no idea what you're talking about.
21:12Drop it.
21:12You know exactly what I'm talking about.
21:14You know I said I never liked Diana just so you'd hear it.
21:16I went quiet.
21:17Stopped fighting.
21:18After a long second, I looked him in the eye.
21:21Yeah, I know.
21:22And I know you liked me back then, too.
21:24That's the only reason I was stupid enough to confess.
21:27The first time I tried losing weight, I did it in secret.
21:30Starved myself.
21:31Stopped taking the bus.
21:32Walked to and from school every day.
21:35I wanted to lose weight fast, so I could wear my favorite dress and confess to Luke.
21:42But he noticed how pale I was, and how I kept holding my stomach.
21:47You on your period?
21:48I shook my head, brushing it off.
21:49I'm fine.
21:50It'll pass.
21:51Luke wouldn't let it go.
21:53Come on.
21:53Insisted on taking me to the nurse.
21:55I finally told him I'd been skipping meals.
21:57He frowned even harder.
21:59He told the teacher I had low blood sugar, then pulled me toward the cafeteria.
22:04He pressed me against the wall and let out a cold sneer, walking ahead, and scoffed.
22:11You care that much what people think?
22:14You'd actually starve yourself?
22:15I was so dizzy from hunger I could barely hear him.
22:18I just nodded.
22:19Yeah.
22:21Luke was so mad, he squeezed my hand tight.
22:24Will you stop fucking dieting already?
22:27Anyone makes fun of your weight, I'll handle them.
22:30Okay?
22:31I smiled a little and mumbled.
22:32You don't think I'm fat?
22:34Like, ugly?
22:35Luke stopped walking.
22:37He didn't let go of my hand.
22:38He turned around, leaned down close to my face.
22:41He looked at me like he was solving the hardest physics problem on the exam.
22:45I looked.
22:47You're cute.
22:48All of you.
22:50Not cute for a big girl.
22:52Your face.
22:53You have a really pretty face.
22:55He said it like it was a fact.
22:57In that moment, my crush on him grew bigger than ever.
23:00I held his hand back, like I was finally climbing out of all that self-hatred.
23:05And then, one second later, he pushed me right back in.
23:08And I stayed there for a really long time after that.
23:11Luke's eyes widened.
23:13His grip on my wrist loosened.
23:14He looked down, a sad, bitter smile on his face.
23:17I liked you.
23:18For a long time.
23:21But being with you, all the stares, all the jokes, it was too much-
23:25That's exactly why you don't get to ask for a chance now.
23:27I walked away.
23:27A few meters out, I heard his voice again.
23:30But I liked you more than any of them ever did.
23:33Quiet.
23:33Like he was talking to himself.
23:35Like he knew none of it mattered.
23:36I fixed my face and pushed open the door to the private dining room.
23:42I scanned the room.
23:44Silas wasn't there yet.
23:45Our teacher waved me over with a smile.
23:48Great scores, Chloe.
23:49Come sit here.
23:50Diana had been scowling at me ever since I walked in.
23:53Then she smiled all sweet and said,
23:56Don't let her grades fool you, Mrs. Carter.
23:59Chloe's been sneaking around with a guy this whole time.
24:01I stared at her, confused.
24:02What are you talking about?
24:04Con, we're graduating.
24:05It's fine.
24:06Don't be mad.
24:07I laughed.
24:08Annoyed.
24:09About to set the record straight.
24:11When our teacher cut in.
24:12Wait, who?
24:13Who's Chloe dating?
24:14Her desk mate, Silas?
24:16Diana said it like it was big news.
24:17And our teacher's eyes went wide.
24:19Diana preened.
24:20I just don't get it.
24:22Chloe's such a good student.
24:23Why would she go for someone with bad grades and a bad reputation?
24:27Our teacher frowned at Diana.
24:29Weirded out.
24:29Diana didn't notice she was too busy glaring at me.
24:32Come on, Chloe.
24:33Don't deny it just cause he's ugly.
24:34Make him take off his mask.
24:36Show everyone the burn scars.
24:38I didn't care that much about the dating rumor.
24:40But lying about Silas, that I couldn't stand.
24:46Diana, have you ever actually seen scars on his face?
24:49She froze.
24:50Well, no, but...
24:53But you're saying it like it's true?
24:56Everyone says it!
24:57I nodded, playing her own game.
25:00Everyone also says you bribed your way into that cheer scholarship.
25:04By your logic, that must be true too, right?
25:06Diana Pana.
25:07Who's saying that?
25:08She looked around the room, wild-eyed, looking for someone to blame.
25:11The room was loud.
25:13Another group was bugging our teacher.
25:15We heard from the grade coordinator there's a billionaire heir in our grade.
25:17Who is it? What's his name?
25:18Is he hot?
25:19He must be, right?
25:20Our teacher was too busy to answer either group.
25:23The noise hit its peak.
25:24Everyone talking over each other.
25:25Then the door opened again.
25:27The room went dead silent.
25:29Everyone stared at the guy in the doorway.
25:31Sharp features.
25:32Tall.
25:32Movie star.
25:33Handsome.
25:34The girl closest to him blushed and said.
25:37Um, can we help you find someone?
25:39Our teacher laughed and said.
25:41What, you don't recognize him?
25:44This is the guy you've all been talking about.
25:46Diana shrieked.
25:48Silas!
25:49Everyone else lost it.
25:50The heir?
25:51No way.
25:53That's Silas?
25:54The trilendual, Ivy League-bounded billionaire heir?
25:57Alright, alright.
25:58Stop teasing them.
25:59Silas, we barely recognized you without the mask.
26:02I was totally stunned.
26:03Like I'd been struck by lightning.
26:05Silas, this stranger in front of me raised an eyebrow, looked right at me, and hummed.
26:10I said yes.
26:12Yes to what?
26:16The whole room erupted.
26:22No wonder he aced all the multiple choice on that test once, just wrote the final answers.
26:26I thought he cheated.
26:27I always said his eyes were too pretty for him to be ugly.
26:29He had those same sneakers as that NBA star once, I swear they were fake.
26:36Dinner ended fast, everyone still buzzing the whole time.
26:39On the walk home, Silas answered all my questions.
26:43He'd worn the mask and hat when he first transferred, cause he'd gotten in a fight and his face was
26:48all bruised.
26:49Then he just got used to it.
26:50When I first transferred here, I wore a mask and a hat because I'd just been in a fight not
26:54long before,
26:54and the wounds on my face hadn't healed yet.
26:56Later, I just got used to wearing it.
26:58You've already been recommended for admission, so why are you still taking the final examination?
27:02I did it just so we could go to the same college, babe.
27:06This is my first relationship.
27:09No one in my family ever really liked me.
27:12Grew up being compared to everyone else, constant pressure.
27:15Always felt like everyone left me.
27:18His eyes were soft, almost shy.
27:23No wonder he aced all the multiple choice on that test once, just wrote the final answers.
27:27I thought he cheated.
27:28I always said his eyes were too pretty for him to be ugly.
27:30He had those same sneakers as that NBA star once, I swear they were fake.
27:37Dinner ended fast, everyone still buzzing the whole time.
27:41On the walk home, Silas answered all my questions.
27:44He'd worn the mask and hat when he first transferred, because he'd gotten in a fight and his face was
27:49all bruised.
27:50Then he just got used to it.
27:51When I first transferred here, I wore a mask and a hat because I'd just been in a fight not
27:55long before and the wounds on my face hadn't healed yet.
27:57Later, I just got used to wearing it.
27:59You've already been recommended for admission, so why are you still taking the final examination?
28:03I did it just so we could go to the same college, babe.
28:07This is my first relationship.
28:10No one in my family ever really liked me.
28:13Grew up being compared to everyone else, constant pressure.
28:16Always felt like everyone left me.
28:19His eyes were soft, almost shy.
28:21I tried to kill myself once when I was little.
28:24After my family bailed on me, then I just got used to it.
28:27He tried to say it casual, but I could see the hurt in his eyes.
28:31My throat tightened.
28:33Rich kid life sounded miserable.
28:35He saw my eyes getting wet and brushed a thumb under my eye.
28:41Don't feel bad for me.
28:43This is the first time someone chose me instead of leaving.
28:46That's more than enough for me.
28:47He said it like he expected so little.
28:50Hey, don't cry, Chloe.
28:54So, what was it I got wrong again?
29:03Nothing, boyfriend.
29:05If I denied it now, he'd probably break.
29:08And I knew I felt something for him, too.
29:12Trying it out wouldn't hurt.
29:14He was so starved for affection.
29:16Our city had more top colleges than anywhere else.
29:20The school Silas got early acceptance to was ranked almost the same as the one I applied to.
29:24So when he turned it down to apply to the same one as me, his cold, distant family didn't even
29:29put up that much of a fight.
29:31By the end of summer break, I was fully used to calling Silas my boyfriend.
29:36He took things slow.
29:37The most we'd done was a kiss on the forehead when he walked me home at night.
29:40Other than being a little clingy, he was basically perfect.
29:44First day of freshman year, and the college magic was already gone.
29:48Two of my three roommates ignored me when I said hi, and the third was Diana.
29:53She'd gotten in on a dance scholarship, so it made sense.
29:56Still sucked.
29:56I was all mopey about it, but she just smiled at me, all smug.
30:00Funny running into you here?
30:02Not funny at all.
30:03Like 80% of people from our high school stayed local for college, so running into people was normal.
30:08But some coincidences were just too much.
30:10Like when Silas told me at dinner that Luke was in his major.
30:13I got over the initial annoyance and remembered how tough Luke was, so I warned Silas.
30:18Don't get into fights with him when you're alone, okay?
30:20You can't take him.
30:22If he messes with you, go to the department head.
30:24If it gets really bad, we'll call campus police.
30:26Silas was taking carrots out of my food.
30:28He didn't even look up.
30:29What makes you think I can't take him?
30:32He had no idea how strong Luke was.
30:34This was serious.
30:35I put my chopsticks down and said,
30:37Don't be stubborn.
30:38He's a really good fighter.
30:39You got all beat up that one fight, remember?
30:41I've seen Luke fight.
30:42He barely gets scratched.
30:43I must have sounded too harsh because Silas went quiet.
30:45After a long second, he pushed his carrot-free plate toward me and nodded.
30:49Got it.
30:49I'm weak.
30:50I won't mess with him.
30:51Oh no.
30:52I forgot how sensitive he was.
30:54I'd hurt his feelings.
30:55He barely talked the rest of dinner.
30:57But even mad, he still peeled my shrimp for me.
30:59I chewed on my chopsticks, watching him, and felt even worse.
31:03After dinner, we did the classic college couple thing, went for a walk.
31:06We walked from the main path all the way to the quiet lake, no one else around.
31:10I apologized and cooed at him the whole way.
31:13Finally, he caved.
31:14Silas pulled me into his arms, nuzzled my neck like a lost puppy.
31:18Chloe.
31:19Come on, make it up to me.
31:20I hugged him back.
31:24I am making it up to you.
31:26Not enough.
31:28His breath was warm against my ear, getting hotter.
31:31Kiss me.
31:32Please.
31:33He said it right against my earlobe.
31:34I shivered, my heart racing.
31:37Where?
31:37We were both whispering now, like we didn't want to break the quiet.
31:41Silas pulled down his hoodie collar, showing the pale skin of his neck.
31:44Faint blue veins under the surface.
31:45Fear.
31:46I stood on my toes and kissed him there.
31:48He tangled a hand in my hair, holding me there.
31:50His Adam's apple bobbed.
31:52What's wrong?
31:52Leave a mark, Chloe.
31:53Let everyone know I'm yours.
31:55I did what he said kissed, then nipped at the skin gently, over and over.
31:59Left the first hickey I'd ever given anyone.
32:02My face was bright red when I pulled away.
32:04I stared at my shoes.
32:06Okay.
32:07Done.
32:08Silas bent down to look me in the eye.
32:10He was smiling soft, thumb brushing my bottom lip, slow and lazy.
32:13You're really good at that.
32:16I feel so good.
32:17Do it again sometime, yeah?
32:18Relationships go both ways, right?
32:20How come he never kissed me?
32:22I was too shy to say it.
32:23I just stared at him for a second, then shook my head.
32:25No.
32:26Hoped he'd figure it out on his own.
32:28Hoped he'd kiss me first, next time.
32:30Freshman tryouts for the college beach volleyball team were easy for me.
32:33All that walking and weight loss senior year had gotten me in shape.
32:36The guy running our group was a junior, back from a gap year, the team's co-captain.
32:40By the end of the first week there were already rumors about freshmen hooking up with upperclassmen.
32:44Not about our coach though.
32:46But I swear, he kept getting way too close when he fixed my form.
32:50Chloe, lift your arm higher.
32:51He stood right behind me, hands on my arms to adjust them.
32:53I could feel his breath on my neck.
32:55I stepped away, polite but firm.
32:57You can just tell me what to do.
32:59He brushed me off, laughed.
33:01Come on, freshmen, you're not getting it.
33:04Most girls would kill for me to fix their form personally.
33:06Like it wasn't his literal job.
33:08During break, Diana sat next to him and said loud enough for me to hear.
33:12Wow, Chloe, he's being so nice to you.
33:14If you didn't have a boyfriend, you'd go for him, right?
33:16Boyfriend?
33:17The coach's face dropped.
33:18He turned to me.
33:19You have a boyfriend?
33:20I glanced away from Diana and nodded.
33:22He stared at me for a few seconds, cold.
33:24You have a boyfriend and you didn't say anything?
33:26You leading me on on purpose?
33:28That's messed up!
33:28I laughed, angry at how ridiculous he was.
33:31Did you ever ask?
33:33And why would I bother leading you on?
33:35Before he could answer, Diana slammed her water bottle down.
33:38Don't talk to him like that!
33:40Your boyfriend's nothing compared to him!
33:42He's just a loser creep!
33:43Something in me snapped.
33:44I walked right up to her and slapped her hard across the face.
33:47I warned you, don't talk about Silas like that.
33:51Diana touched her cheek, stunned.
33:53You hit me!
33:54Then she lunged at me, claws out.
33:56We started fighting.
33:57All that strength from when I was 140 pounds came right back.
34:01I had her pinned to the ground before three other girls pulled me off.
34:04The coach scoffed at me and said flat out,
34:06You started it.
34:0930 extra serves after practice.
34:12And you're staying late to put away all the equipment.
34:16Diana got up, brushed herself off, and grinned at me like she'd won.
34:20I did all those extra serves in 100 degree heat.
34:23By the time everyone else went to lunch, I was finally allowed to eat.
34:26But the cafeteria was almost empty by then.
34:29I had a few bites of gross mac and cheese, then went back to practice.
34:32When practice ended that evening, I showered back at the dorm and was totally dead.
34:37So hungry, but too tired to go back to the dining hall.
34:40Then Silas called and told me to come downstairs.
34:42I practically fell into his arms, spilling everything that happened.
34:46Silas, I'm so hungry.
34:49I only had a few bites of gross pasta.
34:52I want a cinnamon roll so bad.
34:55Silas was weirdly quiet.
34:56He sat me down on a bench, then ran to the cafeteria and got me one.
34:59When I finished eating, he checked his phone and said flatly,
35:02Go back to your dorm and rest.
35:04I gotta take care of something.
35:05I'll see you later.
35:06I stared at him for a second, then looked down.
35:09Okay.
35:10Go do your thing.
35:11I'll head back.
35:11He left without another word.
35:13I glanced at his phone screen by accident.
35:15The text said,
35:16Silas, that junior dickhead's at the apartment party off campus right now.
35:19You coming?
35:20I followed him, quiet as a shadow.
35:22For some reason, I thought back to what happened to Chad's senior year.
35:26All the little pieces clicked into place.
35:28Silas had been playing weak this whole time.
35:30I knew I was right when I saw him through the crowd at the off campus party.
35:32He took down four guys, the coach included, all by himself.
35:35Didn't even get a scratch.
35:36He punched the coach to the ground, put his boot on the guy's chest, voice cold and sharp.
35:41You had your eye on my girlfriend, huh?
35:43The coach shook his head, panicking.
35:45No!
35:45No, man!
35:46I swear!
35:47Silas pressed his boot down a little harder.
35:49My girlfriend had a really shitty day because of you.
35:52How you gonna make it up to her?
35:54The guy trembled.
35:55Whatever you want, man!
35:57Silas was about to stomp on his hand when I called out.
36:00Silas!
36:00But he froze immediately.
36:02The coach and his friends scrambled away.
36:04Silas didn't turn around.
36:06I walked over and knelt down in front of him.
36:08Silas dropped his hands to his sides, swallowed hard and said rough.
36:12I'm sorry.
36:13I stayed quiet, didn't say anything.
36:16After a long time, he said again.
36:17You're gonna break up with me, aren't you?
36:19I looked up fast.
36:20His eyes were red, wild, like he was about to lose it.
36:23Nothing like the soft, quiet guy I knew.
36:26I sighed, laced my fingers through his to calm him down.
36:29I'm not breaking up with you over this.
36:31I just don't get why you lied to me.
36:33He held my hand tight, bitter smile on his face.
36:36Because I knew you didn't actually like me.
36:38You only said yes because you felt bad for me.
36:41If I didn't act all helpless, you'd leave.
36:44I knelt there, held his face in both hands.
36:47Silas, look at me.
36:49I like you.
36:51For real.
36:52I feel bad for a lot of people, but I don't date them out of pity.
36:56Liking someone isn't charity.
36:58You don't just give it away.
37:00I promise you're not lying.
37:01He was so strung out, so scared.
37:03I leaned in and kissed him soft on the lips.
37:05Fine.
37:05If he wouldn't make the first move, I would.
37:07If I'm lying, I'll never eat a cinnamon roll again.
37:10Finally, he relaxed.
37:11We walked down the dark side street, swinging our hands.
37:14Me bouncing a little.
37:16Wait, wait.
37:17Hear me out.
37:17We're like the perfect couple.
37:19You can fight.
37:20I can fight.
37:21I had Diana pinned today.
37:23She didn't even land a hit.
37:24Her face is going to be swollen for at least a week.
37:27Silas squeezed my hand, quiet.
37:29You don't have to fight anymore.
37:31I'll handle it.
37:32But Diana's a girl, Silas said.
37:34I'll use a pink bat.
37:36Fair enough.
37:37I laughed and stood on my toes to kiss his cheek loud.
37:39I like you so much, Silas.
37:42A quiet laugh cut through the dark, and the mood dropped.
37:45Luke was standing there, watching me, eyes dark.
37:47So now you're into violence?
37:49Cause he beats people up for you, that's why you like him so much?
37:52Silas was still salty about me, saying he couldn't take Luke.
37:54He stepped forward, face blank, ready to fight.
37:57I grabbed his arm fast.
37:59He's not even worth your time.
38:01I talked him down, soothing him.
38:03Luke's obviously weaker than you.
38:06Fighting him would be picking on a kid.
38:08You'd make him cry.
38:10And then he'd call campus police.
38:11That'd be a hassle.
38:13Silas stopped.
38:13He scoffed, looking down at Luke like he was nothing.
38:16Coward.
38:17You can't even admit you like someone out loud.
38:20What makes you think you deserve her?
38:22That hit a nerve.
38:23Luke laughed, bitter, and stepped forward.
38:25I was done playing nice.
38:27I pulled out my pepper spray, aimed it at him, and said cold.
38:30Come any closer, and I'll spray.
38:31He froze for half a second.
38:33I sprayed him right then, grabbed Silas' hand, and walked away.
38:36Luke stumbled back, rubbing his eyes, and hit a tree.
38:39No one was there to help him.
38:40He'd be stuck there a while, blinking it out.
38:42He looked so pathetic there, just like I had, sitting alone in the rain senior year.
38:47Luke, seeing you like this, I think I finally got over that day in the rain.
38:52I didn't think about it anymore.
38:53Didn't choke on the memory.
38:54I never wanted him to suffer as bad as I did.
38:56But this felt right, like karma finally caught up.
38:59Silas didn't just use violence, like Luke said.
39:02He'd already collected proof the coach had harassed other girls, and proof Diana had cheated on her scholarship application.
39:07He turned all of it in, to the school.
39:09The very next day, Diana got expelled, and the coach got suspended.
39:13It was crazy fast.
39:15The afternoon sun poured through the sycamore crowns, scattering broken light across the walkway.
39:19I stepped out of Powell Library, calculus textbook heavy against my chest, and nearly walked into a wall of a
39:24person, Luke.
39:25The glare hit the face I'd once wasted two years being obsessed with, and all I felt was a dry,
39:31bitter irony.
39:31After I'd dropped 40 pounds, the same guy who once ground my self-worth into the mud had been the
39:36first to come crawling back wearing a mask of concern.
39:39His eyes did a slow sweep of me regret flickering, then buried under manufactured gravity.
39:43I heard about Diana.
39:45Simus got her expelled with a phone call.
39:47A normal student can't do that, Chloe.
39:48He leaned in.
39:50His family's money is dirty.
39:52Get tangled up with him and you'll go down with him.
39:55A cold laugh escaped me.
39:56In my head, sophomore year of high school, a downpour.
39:59His face twisted into a sneer as he called me a beached whale.
40:03Save it, Luke.
40:05At least Silas has never poured ice water on someone screaming for help.
40:09I moved to step around him.
40:10The words had landed exactly where I'd aimed on his pride.
40:13He spun, his hand clamping my wrist hard enough to bruise.
40:16You think some Manhattan trust fund prince knows anything about love?
40:20You're a toy he's using to spite his family.
40:23He gets off on slumming it with a nobody.
40:25I wrenched against his grip, disgust climbing my throat.
40:28Neither of us noticed the figure at the far end of the colonnade Silas.
40:30His gaze locked on Luke's hand around my wrist.
40:33His dark eyes went flat and glacial.
40:34And the hand at his side curled, slowly and deliberately, into a fist.
40:38His pride bleeding.
40:40Luke retaliated the only way he knew how.
40:42He went to the athletics facility manager, my work study supervisor,
40:45and spun a story about me knocking over a rack and damaging a full set of match balls.
40:48I couldn't prove otherwise.
40:50If I wanted to keep the job that covered my meal plan,
40:52I'd stay late and run a complete solo inventory of the volleyball equipment room.
40:56So I stayed.
40:57By evening, the sounds of practice had drained from the courts.
41:00The room was dim, lit only by sunset bleeding through one grimy window.
41:04I crouched on the concrete, counting balls one by one, anger simmering on a low flame.
41:09The door banged open.
41:10Luke filled the frame, smirk already in place.
41:13Where's your bodyguard?
41:14Come on, Chloe.
41:16You starved yourself for one reason.
41:19So I'd finally look at you.
41:22Admit it.
41:23You're not over me.
41:25Get out.
41:26I grabbed the nearest ball and fired it at his head.
41:28He dodged, laughing.
41:29The smirk widened as he came toward me, reaching.
41:32An arm shot out of the darkness behind me and locked around his collar
41:35before his fingers got within a foot of my shoulder.
41:37Silas.
41:38He didn't spend a single word.
41:39One hand fisted in Luke's shirt.
41:41He hauled the bigger, heavier team captain at the door.
41:44A dull thud sounded from the hallway.
41:46Then Silas swung the steel door shut and through the lock, sealing out the storm of curses and pounding.
41:51He turned to me, chest heaving, eyes dark with fury and something roar beneath it.
41:55He crossed the floor in two strides and stopped a breath away, hands hovering at my waist, waiting, asking.
42:00I answered by grabbing his shirt front and hauling him in.
42:03Only then did he lift me onto the tall equipment crate, setting me down so we were finally eye to
42:07eye.
42:07Heat came off him in waves.
42:09The room felt impossibly small, thick with old leather, and the clean cedar of his cologne.
42:14Outside, Luke was hammering the door, steel groaning under his fists.
42:17Chloe!
42:18Open up!
42:19Silas, you psycho!
42:20Get away from her!
42:21My pulse slammed adrenaline and fear, and something considerably hotter, all tangled together.
42:26My fingers tightened in his shirt.
42:28Tell me to stop, and I stop.
42:32This second.
42:33Don't you dare.
42:35Something feral and relieved crossed his face.
42:37Then let him listen.
42:38He breathed against my cheek.
42:39Let him hear exactly whose arms you chose.
42:42His thumb, calloused, grazed the corner of my mouth.
42:44Chloe, say it.
42:47Yours.
42:48Now kiss me before I change my mind.
42:51The pounding went on, the door shuddering on its hinges.
42:53On that razor's edge between panic and thrill, he lowered his head and I met him halfway.
42:58It was a fierce kiss, desperate and claiming in both directions.
43:02I gave exactly as good as I got, twisting my fingers into his collar, swallowing his low
43:06groan the way he swallowed my gasp.
43:08Behind a door that could give at any second, I let the tide take me and dragged him under
43:12with me.
43:12The pounding lasted an eternity before one final curse and retreating footsteps.
43:17Only then did Silas ease back, forehead resting against mine.
43:20My lips were swollen.
43:22I was still finding my breath.
43:23He took in the state of me, and the storm in his face receded into something almost penitent.
43:28He bowed his head into the curve of my neck and breathed me in like a man surfacing.
43:32I'm sorry I came out of the dark like that.
43:36The thought of him touching you.
43:38I want to erase him.
43:40My heart went soft.
43:41I combed my fingers through the hair at his nape.
43:43You didn't scare me.
43:45He did.
43:46But don't dirty your hands on trash, Silas.
43:49There are smarter ways to make him pay.
43:51The next day, the men's volleyball program held its biggest sponsor meeting of the season.
43:55Luke sat at the table in a press team polo, beaming, waiting for the benefactors.
43:59The door opened.
44:00Not executives.
44:01Silas, an unrelieved black, morning sun carving hard planes on his face.
44:05He dropped a folder onto the table with studied carelessness.
44:10Captain, in light of your recent conduct, my family's foundation is pulling its NIL sponsorship of this program.
44:16Effective now.
44:17And I've made some calls.
44:19Every program in the transfer portal, every agent, every booster on this coast has heard your name.
44:25Just not the way you'd want.
44:27The blood left Luke's face.
44:29He sagged into his chair as it landed.
44:31He had crossed someone he could never afford to cross.
44:33And in the wreckage of his future, a dark seat of vengeance took root.
44:37Luke became a pariah overnight, his hangers-on evaporating.
44:40He'd earned every second of it.
44:41But news that Silas had leveraged the family foundation to bury a college athlete traveled all the way to the
44:46family office in Manhattan and shook the old dynasty at its foundations.
44:49We were splitting a cinnamon roll on the grass by the lake, Silas wiping frosting from the corner of my
44:53mouth with a tenderness that would have stunned everyone who'd seen him in that conference room.
44:57His phone buzzed.
44:58He saw the 212 number, and the softness froze over.
45:01He rose and stepped into the shade of a jacaranda to take it.
45:04I watched his rigid back, unease nodding under my ribs.
45:08Even at a distance, I could almost feel his mother's voice bleeding through the speaker.
45:11You burned the foundation's West Coast goodwill over a girl with no name and no connections?
45:17I fly out next week.
45:19You will come home and finalize the engagement with Sophia.
45:24Or I promise you, that girl won't finish her degree.
45:29And she won't wait tables in that state either.
45:31His knuckles whitened around the phone.
45:33He turned his head, and his gaze found me smiling at him from the sunlit grass.
45:37Something violent and complicated moved through his face, then hardened into pure resolve.
45:41The warning was not idle.
45:42Two days later, I was in the library prepping for the national case competition.
45:46The quiet shattered under an arrogant click of heels.
45:48Sophia Silas's fiancée, in name only, a fixture of the Manhattan circuit stopped at my table, flanked by an entourage
45:54of lacquered heiresses.
45:55They fanned out around me.
45:57So you're the gold digger, she said, examining me down the length of her nose.
46:01Scholarship girls claw and claw, and the door still never opens.
46:05Her followers tittered.
46:06One of them, with a theatrical oops, tipped an iced Americano across my laptop.
46:10Dark liquid crawled over the keyboard and dripped onto my open casebook.
46:14Do yourself a favor, and vanish.
46:16Between our families, you'll never work in this state.
46:19Ladies, your perfume is loud enough.
46:22The talking is redundant.
46:24Sophia's face contorted.
46:25Her hand flew up to slot now, and stopped mid-air, caught in a much larger one.
46:29Silas had materialized at the end of the table like a verdict, stepping out of the shadow line between the
46:34stacks.
46:34He flung her hand aside and put himself squarely in front of me.
46:37Don't touch her.
46:39Go tell my mother the engagement is over.
46:41As of today, I'm done with all of you and your families.
46:43And if any of you breathes near Chloe again, I will take yours apart holding by holding.
46:49Their faces went ashen.
46:50They scattered.
46:51He turned, caught my hand before I could speak, and pulled me toward the dim depths of the archive stacks.
46:55I half-jogged to keep pace as we plunged into the archives.
46:58The towering shelves swallowing the light.
47:00The air smelling of dust and old ink.
47:02The moment we stopped, I didn't wait.
47:04I grabbed his lapels and turned him against the shelf.
47:07Are you insane?
47:10Declaring war on your own family in the middle of the reading cast?
47:12Your mother will never let this go!
47:16Let her come.
47:18The blade's edge he'd shown the heiresses was gone.
47:21What was left was rougher, hungrier.
47:23His hands settled at my waist, resting, not gripping.
47:26I haven't seen you all morning.
47:27It's been an ache.
47:28Were you scared back there?
47:30I'm not that fragile, but you might be.
47:32You just set your whole life on fire.
47:35For you?
47:37Gladly.
47:38He searched my face in the gloom.
47:40Can I-
47:40I answered by rising on my toes and catching his lower lip between my teeth gently.
47:44Just enough to make him shudder.
47:46His breath broke.
47:47Then his arms came around me and we were kissing in the dusty half-dark.
47:50The shelf creaking softly at his back.
47:53Footsteps could carry from the main hall at any moment.
47:55I fisted my hands in his shirt and let the current of almost discovery run straight through me.
47:59I really just want to do it.
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