- 5 hours ago
Category
🎮️
GamingTranscript
00:00Unthinkable peril?
00:02Well, I have some time.
00:06The borderlands of Pandora were told to contain mysterious alien treasure troves filled with advanced technology and incredible power.
00:17Vaults, the people called them.
00:19And to seek one out was to earn you the title...
00:28A Vault Hunter. At least by me.
00:32You could say Handsome Jack was one such explorer, though his methods could be seen as somewhat unspawned.
00:43He ran the corporation Hyperion and died trying to claim Pandora as his own.
00:51History's attention is fickle, my friends.
00:54It will remember those pirates like Handsome Jack, but forget the adventurers who risk it all for less.
01:02Ah, obvious rewards.
01:07Stories, legends, those are much better at getting at the real spirit of things.
01:15Stories remember both sides of the tale.
01:19Well...
01:19...
01:21...
01:35...
01:37...
01:37...
01:37I don't know.
02:12Fiona!
02:14Come on! We can work this out!
02:22Fiona?
02:24What? Is there some sort of radiation leak I don't know about?
02:52What is happening right now?
02:54I ask the questions.
02:56Okay, then do you mind asking yourself what you're doing?
03:06What the hell?
03:08Tell me about the Gordas project.
03:11Is that what this is about?
03:13Look, Gordas is bad business.
03:16If you want a real hot investment, I am on the ground floor of some property on e-
03:20Okay, okay, okay, okay.
03:22Don't be a smartass.
03:26I'm not a patient person.
03:29So just start talking.
03:31Just where do you start when you're getting dragged through the desert and uh...
03:38From the beginning.
03:40Right.
03:41I'm sorry.
03:43I'm sorry.
03:55It all started with a promotion.
03:58See, I had spent my entire career up at Hyperion, so I suppose that makes me one of the bad
04:04guys in this story.
04:06And Handsome Jack?
04:08He was the baddest guy of them all.
04:10You've been so sick this long.
04:11It must feel good to finally grab it, you know?
04:12But I wanted to be just like him.
04:14Take it. It's yours, right?
04:16I mean, you always said that...
04:17Everyone did.
04:19I always thought it was sort of cheesy, but uh...
04:21But hey, here we are.
04:24What?
04:24What?
04:25What?
04:25What?
04:25What?
04:25What?
04:26I'm nothing.
04:28Youamanish.
04:29How?
04:30Animals.
04:31When Handsome Jack died...
04:33It somehow got even worse.
04:39It took some time to fit in.
04:43A few stabs and select backs.
04:46A new haircut, and the help of a couple friends, I was on my way to get the promotion that
04:52was going to change my life.
04:54Scratch that.
04:55Our lives.
04:56For the better.
04:58I was a little distracted.
05:00It was a big day for us.
05:01Luckily, Vaughn was concentrating on the important things.
05:06What's the first thing you're going to buy?
05:08I know what Henderson's making.
05:09I do his payroll.
05:14If you're getting a fraction of what he earns, you'll be rolling in it.
05:18It's not about money, Vaughn.
05:20It's about the respect it gets you.
05:22Yeah, you know who talks like that?
05:23Poor people that no one likes.
05:26Respect, it's nice, you know?
05:27But it's not nicer than a summer home on Eden 7.
05:30Get your priorities straight.
05:32We're meeting with a vet afterward to celebrate.
05:34She booked us a table.
05:36Yep, sounds good.
05:37Look, we had to do a lot of awful stuff to get you to this point.
05:40Do I regret some of it?
05:41Sure, I do.
05:42Every night it haunts my dreams.
05:43But that doesn't matter now.
05:44Because you made it.
05:45You deserve this, man.
05:47And don't ever think you don't.
05:49And don't ever think about the Iridium Mine deal we put together.
05:53Those people have to work somewhere, right?
05:55Hey, if you're going to be nervous, get it out here.
06:01All right, man.
06:02Let's get that Hyperion face on.
06:04Oh, right, yeah.
06:16We need some condescending.
06:19It's a little too friendly right now.
06:20Okay, tell you what.
06:21Tilt your head back.
06:22Like if you ask me if there's anything up your nose.
06:24How's that?
06:25There you go.
06:26You don't respect me at all.
06:28Perfect.
06:38Mr. Henderson?
06:39Have a seat, Reese.
06:40I'll just be a second.
06:42No, I wasn't talking to you.
06:44Yes, I'm talking to you now.
06:47Yeah, but I don't want it in red.
06:48I want it in black.
06:50Because black is better.
06:51Look, don't concern yourself with why, okay, Jerry?
06:54Concern yourself with how.
06:56Well, and just send the car over when it's ready.
07:00Company car.
07:01Didn't even have to ask.
07:06You'll look surprised to see me, Reese.
07:09And if I'm reading the situation right, and I usually am,
07:14you're not too happy about it either.
07:17This all came together quick.
07:20So you might not have been in the loop,
07:23but it's for the better.
07:24At least for me.
07:34You're going to be reporting to me now, Reese.
07:39And I want you to know the promotion that you worked so hard to get.
07:43That's still coming to you.
07:44Well, that's a relief.
07:46Because I...
07:47But this is about more than that, Reese.
07:50It's about your future in this company.
07:53Look, you want to know the reason why I'm in that chair and you're not?
07:58For the exact same reason why North is North.
08:01Why the handsome guy always gets the girl.
08:03And why every spaceship in the universe is shaped like a cock.
08:09It's destiny, Reese.
08:11And men.
08:12Real men.
08:13Men like me.
08:14Make their own.
08:16And you could hold a grudge if you like.
08:19No harm, no foul.
08:21Your thoughts are your own.
08:24But bad things can happen when you swim against fate.
08:28Sometimes men find themselves standing in the way of other men's destiny.
08:33You don't want to be that man.
08:40Wow.
08:40I could not have timed that better.
08:43That really helps dramatically make my point.
08:46Which is this.
08:48This promotion is going to take you out of the way of other people's destiny.
08:53And put you on your own path.
08:55And that, my friend, is why I am promoting you to...
09:01Jerry, why isn't my new car digistructing in my office yet?
09:05Veskis, it's August.
09:06Oh, August.
09:08Cool, listen.
09:09I actually have somebody here with me, so...
09:11Are you buying this vault key or what?
09:13Because I...
09:14How did this happen so quick?
09:16I thought I'd have more time.
09:18Of course I'm still interested.
09:20Yes, I'm near a computer.
09:22Ten million.
09:23Yeah.
09:25It's just, that's a lot of money to get together on short notice.
09:29I mean, I'm not trying to be obstinate, but I need time.
09:42That should be me.
09:46Only less...
09:47Vasquez-y.
09:48Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, but...
09:54Why do the biggest gunbags always have the best view?
10:02It's not.
10:03No, it won't be a big deal for me to get...
10:11Yes.
10:17Yeah, that's what we had before.
10:25It's a working day, August.
10:26And I just got this promotion.
10:34No, nope.
10:42Look, look, look.
10:43Are you going...
10:50Why are you turning this into a whole thing right now?
10:58Not yet.
11:05Look, I'll have to call you back.
11:07I...
11:13Uh-huh.
11:19Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, but...
11:27Do you want the money or not?
11:29Because I...
11:35It's not.
11:36No, it won't be a big deal for me to get...
11:43Yes.
11:50Yeah, that's what we had before.
11:59Why are you trying to screw me on this?
12:02Oh, fine.
12:03Just wait there, okay?
12:05I can only be down at...
12:07If it's going to be $10 million,
12:09I'm going to need another hour or two.
12:13Okay.
12:14Yeah, I'll be there in a bit.
12:16Well, then just stay there.
12:17It's a tourist shop, right?
12:19Buy a mug or something.
12:21Sure.
12:22Sure.
12:23Sure.
12:24Okay.
12:24Say hi to your mom.
12:26Damn it!
12:31Ah, right.
12:35Ah, what were we talking about?
12:40Before we were...
12:41So rudely interrupted.
12:50All right.
12:52Your, uh...
12:53Promotion.
12:55Henderson...
12:56Was a fool.
12:58He didn't know his place.
13:01He needed lesson number one.
13:04Humility.
13:06But you.
13:07I respect you, Rhys.
13:09That's why I'm going to make you assistant vice...
13:13Janitor.
13:14What?
13:16No.
13:17No.
13:18No.
13:18You can't...
13:19I'm the boss now, Rhys.
13:20I do whatever I want.
13:22Report to Sewage Scout 23.
13:25Effective immediately.
13:28You can't humiliate me.
13:31I quit.
13:32Careful now, kid.
13:34The only way you quit Hyperion...
13:35...is the way Henderson did.
13:38You're dismissed, Rhys.
13:48I'll let you know when I need my trash can emptied.
13:59What the hell was that?
14:01He can't do this to us!
14:03He just did.
14:05No.
14:06No, no.
14:06This can't be happening.
14:08I'm finished, phone.
14:09I'm finished.
14:10You know who this place is.
14:11There's blood in the water!
14:13And everyone can smell it!
14:15No, no.
14:16No, they can't.
14:17Not yet.
14:18Unless you don't quiet down.
14:24Senior Vice Janitor Rhys to Sector D-4-5-1
14:29for trash clean-up
14:31because that is your job now,
14:34to clean up trash with your bare hands.
14:36Sorry, you were saying something.
14:38I interrupted you.
14:39Rhys?
14:40Why are you cleaning up trash?
14:42I thought you were getting a promotion.
14:46Trash duty seems like the opposite of a promotion.
14:49It's my job now, Yvette.
14:51No.
14:52Well, okay.
14:53Yes, technically.
14:54But not for long.
14:56It's that prick Vasquez.
14:57He threw Henderson out of an airlock
14:59and demoted Rhys to trash man.
15:01Holy crap!
15:04So, does that mean you're not buying...
15:14Well, just try and lighten the mood.
15:18And I didn't bring my wallet,
15:19so if someone pays for me...
15:21I'll tell you who's gonna pay.
15:22Vasquez.
15:23I don't know if he's the type to...
15:25We can't let that prick get away with this!
15:26We need to do something!
15:28He just killed a guy.
15:30Maybe it's better we lay low for a bit.
15:32We're gonna ruin his career.
15:33How do you plan on doing that?
15:35Yeah.
15:36Vasquez set up a deal on Pandora for a vault key.
15:40Whoa.
15:41A vault key?
15:42Uh-huh.
15:43And I'm sure he promised it to Hyperion.
15:44That must be why he got the promotion.
15:47The only thing Hyperion cares about more than money is...
15:49It's vault keys.
15:50It's perfect!
15:52I mean, not only do we screw over Asquez,
15:55we have a friggin' vault key!
15:57What are they worth?
15:57Like a billion dollars?
15:59More.
16:00Yeah, but we need 10 million dollars right now to make the deal.
16:04Hold, please.
16:06Done.
16:09I'm not gonna lie.
16:11That was impressive.
16:13I'm in accounting.
16:14I mean, it's what I do.
16:1510 million bucks is chump change around here.
16:18By the time anyone notices, we'll have a vault key.
16:21Cool.
16:21Well, looks like you boys got it all figured out.
16:25I'm gonna go eat.
16:26Alone.
16:27Call me if you don't get killed, all right?
16:28Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, hey, we need your help.
16:30We need clearance, transportation.
16:33You're a requisition's master.
16:35We need that stuff.
16:36Yeah, maybe a loader bot or two.
16:38You know, things get dicey.
16:40Look, it's one thing stealing from a bunch of poor suckers on Pandora.
16:44You're talking about stealing from Hyperion.
16:47But we're friends.
16:49Friends help each other steal stuff.
16:51I mean, that's how it works.
16:53Richter used to steal candy bars.
16:55His family still doesn't know where the body is.
16:58Come on, Yvette.
16:59We're in this together.
17:00One of us moves up, we all move up.
17:03Yeah.
17:03And by that same logic, in some way, we all just got demoted to janitor.
17:07Do you really want that?
17:09Vasquez really screwed us, didn't he?
17:12Fine.
17:13But I'm still hungry.
17:15No problem.
17:16We only got a couple hours.
17:19Go withdraw the cash.
17:20I'll get you guys clearance at Pandora, get you geared up, and issue you a standard Hyperion town car.
17:26What?
17:26Standard?
17:27Really?
17:28I mean, you can't spring for premium?
17:30Seat warmers, maybe a convertible or something?
17:33Sure.
17:34Yeah, a convertible.
17:35So, just so I got this straight, you'd want me to get you a car to drive around Pandora that
17:40leaves you less protected, right?
17:42Look, it just...
17:43If you're gonna steal something, I figure...
17:46No.
17:47No, don't worry.
17:49I've got a car in mind.
17:51I think I bought the car inpir televisive.
17:56I've got a car out of my car out of my car out.
17:58What a car out of my car out of my car is so detailed.
18:11I diffé boge because of my carumph of my car as well.
18:12I threw it under my car with my car.
18:13What are you doing?"
18:17Oh
18:55I don't know.
19:23I don't know.
20:04I don't know.
20:21I don't know.
20:24I don't know.
20:25I don't know.
20:45I don't know.
20:51I don't know.
20:57I don't know.
21:13I don't know.
21:16I don't know.
21:35I don't know.
21:36I don't know.
21:40I don't know.
21:42I don't know.
22:14I don't know.
22:17I don't know.
22:20I don't know.
22:21I don't know.
22:37I don't know.
22:45I don't know.
22:48I don't know.
22:48I don't know.
22:50I don't know.
22:57I don't know.
23:14I don't know.
23:17Wait a second.
23:18I don't know.
23:31I can't see.
24:09I don't know.
24:15Oof. Not a very handsome fellow, is he?
24:17We don't have all day here, Rhys.
24:51Uh...
24:55It should be around here.
24:58You lost?
25:00Um...
25:01What are you here for?
25:04Uh, why do you even care?
25:07Because you're driving your ass wagon all through my town.
25:09Kicking up Earth, stirring up spider ants.
25:12And when the spider ants come, people get killed.
25:16Sorry, um, we didn't...
25:20You're Hyperion.
25:22You egg-suckers ruined this town, you know that?
25:26Atlas were bastards, but at least they had the good sense to fail.
25:30When Jack came in, he turned everything to smoke.
25:33And it's you and assholes like you that made it happen.
25:36Look, man, we really don't know anything about that.
25:42Hey, little man.
25:44What's in the case?
25:47Hey, kitty cat.
25:48Show us what's in the case.
25:59Okay, now, look.
26:01Before we get all bent...
26:06Is there, like, a convention or something?
26:10Oh.
26:14Bandits.
26:15You know what we got here?
26:17Rhys, do the...
26:18They got a couple Hyperion warmongers, gentlemen.
26:22The bot!
26:22Yvette, prime it!
26:26Already?
26:27Really?
26:29Just...
26:29Give me the menu.
26:34Okay, but don't go bananas.
26:37These things ain't cheap.
26:40And do you know what we do with warmongers?
26:44Do you know what we do?
26:45Loader bot deployed.
26:48Time to clock in.
26:50Yee-haw!
26:52Listen, boys.
26:54You're gonna hand over that case.
26:56Or you're handing over your heads.
26:58Your choice.
26:59Look, guys.
27:00Let's talk about this.
27:10Ooh.
27:12Got quiet all of a sudden.
27:23Hi.
27:28Give them all!
27:32Why isn't it doing anything?
27:35Angry eyes detected.
27:38Awaiting instruction.
27:39It only does what I tell it to.
27:42Well, tell it to do something already!
27:44Please stop shooting me.
27:48Freeze!
27:49Do something!
27:50You know, make it do something!
27:52Please stop shooting me.
27:56Freeze!
27:57Do something!
27:58You know, make it do something!
28:01Please stop shooting engaging target.
28:03See?
28:04Piece of cake.
28:09Freeze!
28:10Freeze!
28:10Do something!
28:11You know, make it do something!
28:18Ruh-ha-ha!
28:21Ruh-ha-ha!
28:22Ruh-ha!
28:23Ruh-ha-ha!
28:26Ruh-ha!
28:27Ruh-ha!
28:27Ruh-ha!
28:32Ruh-ha!
28:41They must really have to go.
28:44That is not good.
28:48Come on!
29:24Rocket, rocket, rocket!
29:25I know!
29:34And then you died.
29:36You sure you want to stick with that story?
29:39Okay, okay, maybe I didn't, you know, technically die, but I could have.
29:55They must really have to go.
29:57That is not good.
30:02Come on!
30:30Rocket, rocket, rocket!
30:31I know!
30:39You think you ought to be here?
30:42Take him out!
30:43I see you, sucker!
30:44Get him down!
30:45Get down!
30:47Get down!
30:49I see you, sucker!
30:50She's on fire!
30:51Let's go!
30:52Let's go!
30:54Oh, god!
30:55Let go!
30:56Let's go!
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