00:00What are your thoughts on interracial dating?
00:02Have you ever done it before?
00:07What's up, y'all?
00:07It's your girl, Kiki, back here again
00:09at Hilltop Swanson location.
00:12Black-owned, you already know the deal.
00:14I'm here with my Unbothered fam, and we just had to
00:15run it back again, okay? Talking love, dating,
00:18relationships, all the things I'm not good at.
00:19Let's get into it. What are your thoughts on
00:21interracial dating? Have you ever done it before?
00:24I have done it, and
00:25I'm all about, for a black
00:28queen, get it how you live.
00:30Find your love, and if it's out there
00:31from whoever, get it.
00:33But as for me in my home,
00:35as someone who has dated interracially,
00:38I have found the most
00:40joyfulness and fulfillment
00:42in dating a black man. I think I'm at
00:44a stage in life in which, like, if it
00:46was, like, a white woman, I don't think I could do it
00:47solely because the amount of
00:50emotional labor required to explain
00:52my experience. I'm just
00:54not at that point anymore.
00:56It's definitely different. It's a lot of
00:59explanation,
01:00I feel like.
01:01And I'm kind of hood, too, so it's just like,
01:04can I be my, right, it's like, can I be black?
01:06I'm very black American. Come on now. And it's like, can I be
01:07myself, you know what I mean, 24-7?
01:09Like, are you gonna be okay with this bonnet?
01:11Because I've been wearing bonnet all day now. I took it off
01:13in the car. It bothered other people a lot.
01:16So that was unfortunate. Now what do you mean
01:17it bothered other people a lot? What was that?
01:19I don't know. I think maybe people saw myself
01:21and just were like, oh, she looks like she
01:23would be with a black person or she should
01:25be with a black person or why is she dating
01:27this white person? And I was like, well, actually, she's not
01:29just white. She's mixed. And
01:31culturally, we vibe. How did that
01:33affect your relationship with her, seeing how people
01:35responded to you guys? It was hard.
01:37It was very, very hard. I've experienced it, too.
01:40Yeah. When you are interracially dating,
01:42specifically in the time that we're in now,
01:43it's always been this time for black people in America,
01:45but specifically, everybody's eyes are open.
01:48It's like, if you're gonna date interracially,
01:49that person is going to have to take a lot of that extra effort.
01:54Otherwise, it does fall on you as the black person.
01:58What is an opening line that you would say?
02:01Let's say you're making the first move.
02:03Yeah. So I'm from Philly.
02:04So we go, you're, and that's all it takes.
02:07Jordan, that's all that it takes?
02:09That's all it should take.
02:10We were bowling, and I don't know,
02:12bowling on a first day is just awkward.
02:13It's not a bad day.
02:14Well, it kind of is, because it's like,
02:16one of you is always up, and then I can't bowl well.
02:19And then we ate, and I can't eat well.
02:22So the whole thing just did not go well.
02:24Why did you choose this date?
02:26I didn't know.
02:28It was just out of pure social awkwardness.
02:30The date didn't go well on my end,
02:32and I was like, now I have to cease to exist to this person.
02:35No!
02:35I got a new phone number.
02:38Sorry to that man.
02:40I wouldn't know it then.
02:45How did you feel coming in?
02:47And was it okay for him to follow his exes?
02:49Was it okay for you to follow your exes?
02:51Or did you guys kind of have to cut all that off?
02:53Oh, cut it off.
02:55Wait a minute, Leo.
02:56Wait a minute, Leo.
02:57It's not my business.
02:59Really?
02:59If it's outside of me, if you're with me,
03:01you're paying attention to me,
03:02you're giving me time, attention, like, I don't give a fuck.
03:05You don't care if they're putting hard eyes
03:06under people's pics?
03:07Not really, because I'm not looking for it.
03:09Interesting question, because I see a lot of stuff on his page
03:13that I'm just like, oop, oop.
03:16I think I had to make very clear
03:20what I interpreted as respectful versus disrespectful.
03:25What I interpreted as work versus, you know, personal.
03:30Post your boo or keep it low?
03:35So, are you a public person or are you low-key?
03:37I'm low-key.
03:38Yeah, me too, mama, me too,
03:39because what is important to me,
03:41you're not going to comment on.
03:43Keep it low on close friends.
03:44Yeah, me too, me too, me too.
03:46I'm always on that close friend.
03:47Keep it low, keep it, I mean, you know,
03:49we're going to be always loud anyway,
03:50so we're going to just keep it low,
03:51because we're already loud, the energy, the aura.
03:54I'm going to keep him low.
03:54Me too.
03:55I'm going to keep him low.
03:56I'm going to be like me and him.
03:57And it's just the emotion.
03:58It's just like an elbow or something, yes.
04:02And last but not least, obviously, I've got to ask,
04:04how do you feel about a woman on the first date
04:07if she's ready to already go back home with you
04:09and get it going?
04:10I mean, I think we live in a day and age
04:11in which we're grown, you know what I mean?
04:13I think it's kind of ridiculous to have these antiquated rules
04:16and standards and things of that nature,
04:18and it's just like, yo, if y'all have that genuine bond
04:20and that genuine rapport, why not act on it?
04:22You can have sex on the first night and still find your wife.
04:25Is it a deal-breaker for taking her seriously if she's...
04:28Of course.
04:28Really?
04:28Of course it is.
04:30Really?
04:30But if you're going to put it out for me on the first date,
04:32who else are you going to put...
04:34How are we going to get married?
04:35How are we going to do it?
04:36And you're giving it to me, so...
04:37I'm going to tell you something.
04:38So, wait a minute.
04:38Since the beginning of time,
04:40it's all about the thrill of the hunt.
04:42So if you come and you put it all out there,
04:45then what's in my imagination?
04:47Nothing, because you've got it right there.
04:49But what if this is an amazing woman
04:50that just had a real deep connection with you?
04:53What if that first date, she's literally telling you,
04:55you are amazing.
04:56I've never met a man like you.
04:57The things you said, like the way that I'm vibing with you,
04:59like honestly, I feel like I could go home with you right now.
05:02You going to judge her off that?
05:03I'm not judging, period.
05:05Whatever you decide to do is up to you.
05:07Everything is dependent upon the conversation
05:09and the individual person.
05:10I'm in a space of super divine womanhood right now.
05:13So, if that is your flow and that's your energy,
05:18I think there's nothing wrong with that.
05:20If you can pick up on the vibe and it's safe,
05:22I don't see why that's a problem.
05:24You can have really good experiences.
05:26They don't have to last a long time.
05:28Yeah, and I love you when you said that you can have a good experience.
05:30I think, especially as women,
05:31I can't speak on what it is to be a man,
05:33but as a woman, I think we're often put in these positions
05:35where it's like the sex thing becomes so heavy
05:37because, oh, once I do it with this person,
05:40it's got to be that person
05:41because I don't want to add another body.
05:42And if I add another body,
05:43so it's like even though I don't really love this guy,
05:44but I have fun with him casually,
05:45I need to keep on holding on to this relationship
05:47because we done already went there.
05:48That's a lot.
05:49You know what?
05:49That's the pressure that we put on ourselves.
05:51And like you said, it's like you can have a good experience
05:53and it doesn't have to be forever.
05:54Like you said, it's a safe space.
05:55Heavy on the safe.
05:56Safe space.
05:57But don't hold yourself to things
05:59based off of what other people think and feel.
06:00Absolutely, absolutely.
06:02Period, mommy.
06:02Let's go.
Comments