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On this episode of How To Weep In Public, we are joined by Lena Dunham in our discussion of dealing with mental illness.

Directed by: John Early
Music by: Michael Cera
Styled by: Rachel Antonoff

ABOUT SERIES
How To Weep In Public is hosted by comedian Jacqueline Novak, author of How to Weep in Public, Feeble Offerings on Depression From One Who Knows, for a chat about being a depresso. These friends engage in a frank, non-precious, laugh out loud funny exploration of feelings.

ABOUT RIOT
RIOT is Refinery29's new comedy destination delivering fearlessly funny series. We cover taboo topics ranging from race to class, depression to anxiety, pop culture to social justice — we're laughing with you!

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Transcript
00:00hello hi it's really nice to have you here I'm really grateful to be here it's
00:04just the kind of environment I always dreamed of exactly exactly this is not
00:08what I can do every day no it's not even what I can I mean I can't do this every
00:12day yeah I can barely do it right now
00:30yeah what I like about the look you're going for is that like I feel like
00:33there's this glamour in like when you look at like a Tennessee Williams play
00:37where like the woman who has psychological illness is always like
00:40in a fur laid out on a chaise whereas in reality exactly a woman with mental
00:45illness or a woman struggling with her psychological well-being is often like in
00:48sweats and like a t-shirt that used to belong to her dad that's like covered in
00:52food oh and I like the idea of like almost like fetishizing and exactly
00:56glamorous all that exact experience because I just feel like the last 20
01:03years of my life would have been so much better if every time I was having a
01:06panic attack or like an episode of serious dissociative anxiety I had been
01:10in like a house a beautiful house coat and like curlers and not like a shirt
01:16that had a picture of my old pet rabbit yeah like like someone else's underpants
01:20yes well underpants are a huge issue for me like managing that in my life and
01:26it's like I've come to accept it as just even part of a healthy life for me like
01:29it's not just a sign of the depression it's like it's like I never have them I
01:33don't do laundry okay I mean and I don't have someone else do it either yeah I
01:36buy new packs or order them from Amazon Prime I get it in under an hour I pay the
01:43extra even though it would come in three hours
01:48I've always been anxious but I haven't been the kind of anxious that makes you
01:50like run 10 miles a day and like like make a lot of calls in your blackberry I'm
01:54kind of anxious that makes you be like I'm not going to be able to come out
01:56tonight tomorrow night or maybe for the next 67 nights to to to shut down and
02:01like yeah and rock my image whenever something really bad happens or even not
02:07that bad yeah stressful is I imagine going home and face planting into a bath
02:11mat oh doesn't that sound nice and every one of the best places to hang out yeah and
02:16I start my day basically feast planting in the bathroom every day to get out of
02:24bed okay the bargain I make to get out of bed is not to start the day that's
02:28obviously way too big you know what I mean or yeah doesn't sound good nothing
02:31sounds good welcome in the day you know that kind of thing no no so instead I I
02:36want to go from the dark the darkness and the warmth of and the okay of sleep and I
02:40go all right what I'm going to recreate that somewhere else so I go to the
02:45bathroom shower and faucet okay hot as possible lights off then I get the coffee
02:52okay bring it in close the door then the cats come in they like knock at the door
02:56so I let him in with a little cold air and okay yeah it's dark my eyes are closed
03:01okay and I'm getting coffee in the only difference is that I'm seated I guess
03:07right and you're hot there's steam going in the yes yes because there's a
03:10coldness to the morning even if it's not cold there's yeah of course the
03:14depression or sort of chill there's something about being really close to
03:18discomfort and lightly shielded from it that's almost better than being way far
03:22away from even discomfort in order to fall asleep I have to do some coziness
03:30visualization yeah I have a big one which like I'm not proud of which is that
03:32like that I've gone to do this is like like I just need when this is edited it
03:39has to include that I understand the amount of like self-glorification delusion
03:43about how the world works etc that's involved in this but like I have this one
03:48where like I've gone to of kind of dangerous country to like educate people
03:52on like birth control or something yes okay and I'm kidnapped because they don't
03:58believe in what I'm teaching and I'm kidnapped with two of my friends or
04:01something and then once I'm kidnapped I have to be I'm kidnapped and I want to
04:07save us and so I trick the guy who's kidnapping us into like letting me like
04:12I'm like I need to go to the bathroom yeah like walk me out and to an outhouse
04:16and I run away and get someone who helps come save my friends and then like
04:22they did for Lisa Ling sister Bill Clinton and Hillary Clinton come on a plane to
04:26get us oh my god and then they're like you were so brave you should rest before
04:31we get back to the US that backstory sets up the joy of joy of the plane ride you
04:36need that you see this is where Bill and Hillary Clinton are both safely at the
04:40front just like reading the newspaper being like we're so glad the girls are
04:43safe it's a quiet like even quietly talking yeah like just like they're
04:46keeping it down for you yeah like just like respectfully and like yeah they're
04:51like we can't imagine how tired you are oh my god they're like we wouldn't dream
04:54of this is the more adult yeah this is more adult version of my old fantasy that
04:59somebody would tell me to sleep for 24 hours and wake me up only to force me to
05:02bowl of pasta I think what we're talking about here is a feeling that we
05:08desperately want to be cozy and that coziness isn't like there's not enough in
05:12real life to contain us yes I always want to be like metaphorically and you
05:17know in a restaurant like up against the wall yeah it's against an edge
05:22sometimes I wonder if people have like a real crippling like clinical anxiety yeah
05:26are like likes of course some of them have a logical worries but sometimes I
05:30wonder for like more to like I always felt like I was like more tuned in like I
05:34thought about dying all the time and everyone be like don't think about that
05:36I'd be like but why shouldn't I think about that because we're all gonna die so in a
05:40way what you're classifying as obsessive clinical disease is me recognizing
05:44what's actually going on absolutely and you like just like happily flitting
05:48around like your Bambi yes a huge value I think in my family and I think you know
05:53like you were saying in yours is this thing that was hammered into me which was
05:57you know there's no danger in your thoughts it's all that happens is is you
06:03know your actions and and if you get freaked out about your thoughts that's you
06:08know an anxiety cycle and I've always felt that it's sort of us widening the
06:14border you know into these far reaches go to the darkest place possible and
06:18kind of set up the fence really far so that when you're depressed those kinds
06:22of thoughts you're thinking are are so close to home you haven't even ventured
06:26anywhere near the edges of your property yeah and that's a great comfort it's
06:31really cozy I remember once hearing Elizabeth Gilbert be like the reason that I
06:36like antidepressants is because like you can get really depressed but not really
06:40depressed God yes and I was like that's great it's like the difference between
06:44like falling that falling down on the ground and falling out the bottom of the
06:47earth
06:54this has been how to weep in public check out the other episodes thank you guys for
06:59uh huh you know sin was this sort of a thing you know what I mean so thank you
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