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00:00I know exactly how tonight ends. I've already died in it once. Cole Whitfield, starting QB, Yale football recruit, my
00:07childhood friend, I've always liked him.
00:10Ivy's birthday. Warehouse on Delance. No one's checking. Midnight. Everyone's going.
00:18Cole, the SAT is tomorrow morning. That place serves real alcohol. My dad works the ER. He's treated kids from
00:26this school this year. More than once.
00:32Are you seriously doing this right now?
00:36Mara, it's my birthday. I've invited you. Can you just not?
00:47She's just mad Cole is doing something nice for Ivy.
00:51That night I called every single person. I was at the testing center at 7.30 a.m. I made
00:56sure they all showed up. They aced the SAT.
00:58Then the results came in. And with them, the news.
01:03Ivy went to the warehouse alone.
01:05Someone dumped Everlight into the punch bowl.
01:08Ivy had three cups.
01:12Someone assaulted her.
01:13Cole decided it was my fault. Everyone agreed.
01:16If you hadn't stopped us, someone would have been there to protect her!
01:19They pushed me down the third floor stairwells.
01:22I died on the spot. Cole watched.
01:25When the police asked, the whole class said the same thing.
01:27I threatened them. And when they stopped me, I tried to run and fell.
01:30Every call I made that night became evidence against me.
01:33Someone found our address online.
01:35Someone poured gasoline at our front door and lit it.
01:38My parents were inside.
01:40Cole lived next door.
01:42He stood on the balcony watching the fire.
01:45Only after my parents stopped screaming, did he call 911.
01:49I found all of this out after I was already dead.
01:53I also found out the truth about Ivy.
01:56Every single piece of it was planned by her.
02:02Cole's voice reached me before I was fully awake.
02:07Is Mara actually coming?
02:09She's going to kill the whole vibe.
02:11She rewrote two of my papers last month.
02:13She's useful.
02:14So what is she?
02:15Your tutor or your errand girl?
02:19Neither.
02:20She's just...
02:21She's always around.
02:23She likes being useful.
02:24It's basically her whole personality.
02:31That's all I ever was to him.
02:32Same 15 people.
02:34Same cheer.
02:35Same room.
02:36I'm back.
02:37Last time I lost everything.
02:39My parents.
02:40My home.
02:41This time I won't make the same mistake again.
02:44Mara, you're coming too, right?
02:46I did invite you.
02:48Have fun, Ivy.
02:49You're not going to lecture us?
02:51Nope.
02:52Last time you ran home and called everyone's parents.
02:54Not this time.
02:54He grabbed my wrist hard.
02:56His other hand went into my bag and pulled out driver's license.
03:03No photo ID.
03:04No entry at the testing center.
03:09You know the rules?
03:10Stay quiet tonight.
03:11Don't ruin Ivy's birthday.
03:13And you get this back tomorrow morning.
03:14Simple.
03:15Cole is the QB.
03:17Nobody moves when Cole does something.
03:24Don't make this a thing, Mara.
03:26It's one night.
03:28Cole, that is the only thing I need to get into the testing center tomorrow.
03:32Give it back.
03:33Come with us and you'll have it back in the morning.
03:35Stop being difficult.
03:49Cole walked me to the old gym at the end of the hallway.
03:53No cameras back there.
04:00Relax.
04:01It's just one night.
04:02I'll come back for you after.
04:03Cole, I have a test tomorrow.
04:05Tonight is about Ivy.
04:06Not you.
04:07It was never about you.
04:10Something hard hit the floor outside the door.
04:12He stomped on my phone.
04:13Cole!
04:17His footsteps faded.
04:19Nothing left.
04:20Just the dark and the sound of my own breathing.
04:23I have a backup phone in my jacket pocket.
04:26I could call 911 right now.
04:28Officers would be here in five minutes.
04:30Cole's Yale recruitment would be gone tonight.
04:32But that's not what I want.
04:34I want Ivy's plan to run.
04:36I need her to believe she won.
04:38The only way this ends for good is everyone can see how deep the hole goes.
04:43I open the screen recorder, hit record, started talking.
04:47My name is Mara Scott.
04:49Today is Friday, October 14th.
04:53Cole Whitfield, starting QB at Harlington Academy and Yale football recruit, just locked me in the old gymtasium.
05:02He took my driver's license so I cannot enter the SAT testing center tomorrow.
05:07Last time I had nothing.
05:09Just my word against 15 people who had already agreed on their story.
05:13This time, everything is on record before a single lie gets told.
05:17Forty minutes later, my dad found me.
05:20Who did this?
05:24Dad, do not go to the school.
05:26Do not call anyone.
05:27Mara!
05:27Do not talk to any other parents about tonight, no matter what you hear tomorrow.
05:31Promise me first.
05:33He looked at my hands.
05:36He looked at my face.
05:37He made the promise.
05:39We walked to the car.
05:41He did not ask anything else until the doors were closed.
05:47Tell me.
05:50I want to submit my McGill application tonight.
05:52Test optional early action.
05:55I don't need an SAT score.
05:58I want to leave.
05:59You've been putting that application off for three months.
06:01You said you wanted to stay because...
06:03I was wrong about what I was staying for.
06:10He did not push.
06:11He started the car.
06:17He did not push.
06:18The last time I sat in a car in the dark waiting for something to be over was last fall.
06:23Three seasons of opponent breakdowns for Cole.
06:27One notebook a week.
06:28He never once asked who wrote them.
06:33I saw the car before he did.
06:35It came in from the far entrance.
06:37Too fast.
06:38No headlights.
06:39It was aimed at him.
06:41No time to think.
06:42I moved.
06:45The car didn't stop.
06:46It just drove away.
06:47I got up.
06:48My ankle was on fire.
06:50Cole was on the ground and not moving.
06:52And I called 911.
06:53And I stayed with him until I could hear the sirens.
07:02I wrote.
07:03Good luck.
07:03I put it back.
07:05I stepped away before the paramedics reached him.
07:08I stepped away before the paramedics reached him.
07:23I found out later that Cole woke up.
07:26And the first face he saw was hers.
07:29I found out later what she let him believe.
07:33I wrapped my ankle myself.
07:35The cut was deep enough to scar.
07:37But the next day was Cole's game.
07:39And I didn't want him to know.
07:41Cole didn't know I wasn't there until after the game.
07:44He won.
07:45He texted me one line.
07:46You missed it.
07:48You missed it.
07:55You missed the game.
07:58I know.
07:59How's your head?
08:01Fine.
08:01Why weren't you there?
08:02Something came up.
08:03You knew how important this game was.
08:05He didn't notice my leg was hurt.
08:08That was the last home game of the season.
08:12He won.
08:13He got his Yale letter three months later.
08:16The notebook from that week is still in his bag.
08:19He carries it to every game.
08:21He has never once opened it in front of me.
08:23He does not know that the handwriting on the last page is mine.
08:28He thinks Ivy saved him.
08:31I never corrected it.
08:33I knew he wouldn't believe me.
08:39I opened the group chat on my backup phone.
08:41Party photos.
08:43Everyone packed into the warehouse.
08:44A big punch bowl in the center.
08:47The crowd was still cheering.
08:49Two people in the back were already on the floor.
08:52Someone posted another video from the party.
08:56Hey, where's your little girlfriend Mara?
08:59She's not my girlfriend.
09:03Really?
09:05Can I ask her out then?
09:07I think she's kind of great.
09:09Why would you go for her?
09:12Prove it.
09:14It's just background.
09:29Cole burned my test ID.
09:31He knew how much that exam is meant to me.
09:35It just didn't matter to him.
09:39I opened my laptop.
09:42McGill portal.
09:43Early action.
09:45Test optional box.
09:47Uploaded everything.
09:49Hit submit.
09:50Last time I gave this up for Cole.
09:53I believed him.
09:55I stayed.
09:58I stayed.
10:10Alcohol poisoning.
10:12Group of students.
10:13I have to go in.
10:19Stay at the hospital all day.
10:21If anyone asks you were there all night, do not come to the school.
10:23Do not let your name get into whatever story starts today.
10:28What story?
10:29The kind where they need someone to blame.
10:32Stay out of it.
10:33Promise me.
10:40I promise.
10:42He left.
10:43I sat in the quiet kitchen.
10:46Mom was humming in the other room.
10:48The coffee maker was running.
10:51Birds outside.
10:53Everything still here.
10:55They are not taking this from me again.
11:05Where is everyone?
11:07Testing starts in 30 minutes.
11:11Twelve students with alcohol poisoning last night.
11:13Police said someone spiked the punch bowl with Everclear.
11:16Three are in the ICU.
11:22Most of my top students are in the hospital right now.
11:32Mara, good.
11:33You're here.
11:33Where's your ID?
11:35Cole Whitfield took my driver's license from my bag last night.
11:37He walked me to the back of the old gym and locked me in so I couldn't stop them from
11:40going to the party.
11:43I have it on video.
11:46My phone buzzed.
11:47Ivy had just gone live.
11:49We just wanted to celebrate.
11:51Mara told us the party was safe.
11:53She said she had been there before.
11:55She wanted us to go.
11:57She had a problem with Cole.
11:59She knew her dad worked at that hospital.
12:01I think she wanted something to go wrong.
12:04My son is in the ICU.
12:06You did this?
12:07No.
12:07I have the video.
12:09Everything from last night is on record.
12:11Cole just confirmed it on camera.
12:14You told them to go.
12:15I looked at the live stream.
12:17Cole's mouth was moving.
12:18He still would not look at the camera.
12:20The QB who throws touchdowns in front of 2,000 people every Friday night could not look at a camera
12:25right now.
12:26Everything from last night is uploaded and time-stamped.
12:30Before any of you agreed on your story.
12:32You want to keep going?
12:33Go ahead.
12:33Ivy saw my phone on the stream.
12:35Her face changed.
12:36Just for a second.
12:38Cole finally looked at the camera.
12:39He was not angry.
12:40He was not confident.
12:42He was scared.
12:43There's one more thing I need to say.
12:44This is really hard for me.
12:46Mara's father is the attending physician at Mercy General right now.
12:49He is treating our classmates.
12:51I am not saying he did anything wrong on purpose.
12:53I am just saying, if that was my child in that hospital, I would want to know.
13:00Get her father out of that hospital right now.
13:02He is not touching my kids.
13:04She set the whole thing up so her dad could finish the job.
13:09Every second of this is being recorded.
13:12You are all on camera right now.
13:14Let go of me.
13:16Get your hands off my daughter right now.
13:19You want to talk about last night?
13:20My daughter tried to stop your kids from going to that party.
13:23Your kids walked her to the back of the old gym.
13:26Locked her in and took her ID so she could not even get into the SAT.
13:30I have the audio.
13:31You want to hear it right now?
13:33I opened my phone and went live.
13:36Title, The Truth About Last Night.
13:3840 seconds in, 10,000 viewers.
13:41Ivy is still live right now.
13:42I'm going to play something she doesn't want you to hear.
13:45Tonight is about Ivy, not you.
13:47It was never about you.
13:48Now for the other thing.
13:50Mara, stop!
13:52Whatever you think you have-
13:53I've been in your private account, Ivy.
13:54The one you think no one knows about.
13:56Three weeks ago you told your friend you couldn't take the SAT because your grades are fake.
14:00Every score you ever posted came from someone else taking the test for you.
14:04That's insane.
14:05You can't prove any of-
14:08Screenshots are in the chat right now.
14:11Her own words.
14:11Her own account.
14:12Time stanks matching three weeks ago exactly.
14:14The comments went sideways.
14:16Ivy looked at Cole.
14:17He was staring at his phone reading the screenshots.
14:19His face was falling apart in real time.
14:21You knew.
14:22You knew the whole time and you-
14:24Cole, listen to me.
14:24My day of our recruitment is under review because of last night.
14:28Because of you.
14:32Cole, we're live.
14:34Look at me.
14:35He stood up.
14:35Knocked his chair over.
14:37He looked at the camera for one second.
14:3940,000 people watching.
14:41Then he reached over and hit end stream on Ivy's phone.
14:44Her stream cut out.
14:46Mine kept running.
14:49Mara.
14:51I owe you an apology.
14:53Yeah.
14:54You do.
14:59You okay?
15:01I didn't get to take my SAT.
15:03I know.
15:04It's okay.
15:05I submitted my Miguel application test washable at 2 a.m.
15:08I don't need the score.
15:09When did you do that?
15:10Right after Ivy sent me the photo of my burned ID.
15:13That's my girl.
15:14But she is not done.
15:1620 minutes later, she texted me.
15:18This isn't over, Mara.
15:19The next morning, Cole showed up at my door.
15:24I'll go open the door.
15:29I need to talk to Mara.
15:30You need to leave.
15:32Please.
15:33Five minutes.
15:37Mom.
15:38It's okay.
15:40Mom looked at me.
15:41I shook my head slightly.
15:42She stepped back.
15:43I walked to the door.
15:45Cole looked at me.
15:45Something crossed his face that I had not seen before.
15:48Not confidence.
15:49Not his usual ease.
15:50Shame.
15:51Yale called.
15:52They're putting my recruitment on hold pending an investigation.
15:55I know.
15:56I didn't know.
15:57She faked everything.
15:58The grades.
15:59The scores.
16:00All of it.
16:00I know you didn't.
16:02Then why didn't you warn me?
16:04You knew.
16:06You had everything.
16:07Cole.
16:09You locked me in a gym.
16:11You stomped on my phone.
16:13You stood in front of 15 people and took my driver's license out of my bag.
16:18And you want to know why I didn't warn you?
16:24I need your help.
16:26If Yale pulls my offer, I lose everything.
16:29You want me to save your Yale spot?
16:31You're the only one who can.
16:33No.
16:33I am not calling Yale.
16:35I am not writing a letter.
16:36I am not doing one single thing to fix what Ivy broke.
16:39That is not my job.
16:40It was never my job.
16:42But you have the evidence.
16:44One call fixes this.
16:47Last time something like this happened, I spent an entire night trying to save everyone.
16:50And I'm not doing that again.
16:53Last time?
16:54What does that mean?
16:57Go home, Cole.
16:58I'm sorry.
16:59About the gym.
17:00About all of it.
17:00I know that doesn't fix anything.
17:03You're right.
17:04It doesn't.
17:07That afternoon, I went to the library.
17:09Third floor.
17:10I had work to do.
17:23Cole came to your house this morning.
17:24What did you say to him?
17:25Why don't you ask him?
17:27Is he not talking to you anymore?
17:34He's not going to suddenly realize he has feelings for you, Mara.
17:37You're just a tool he finds useful.
17:39A piece of paper.
17:40A notebook.
17:41He can throw you away just like that.
17:43Don't get too comfortable.
17:44Ivy will make sure you understand what happens next.
17:47You and your dad.
17:52I knew they were right.
17:54He had used me so long that being used had started to look like being close.
17:57I used to call it love.
17:59This time I won't.
18:00I have work to do.
18:10He sat there for an hour.
18:12I never showed up.
18:13Then he left.
18:15I don't know what he was waiting for.
18:17But it has nothing to do with me anymore.
18:21Two hours later, Ivy posted a statement.
18:24She called it a mental health crisis.
18:27She made a point of naming my dad.
18:30She called him the physician whose daughter orchestrated the entire incident.
18:35She attached a screenshot.
18:36A text from my dad to a parent saying he was aware of the situation and would handle it.
18:40The text was fake.
18:42My phone blew up.
18:43Unknown numbers.
18:44My dad's hospital page was flooded with one-star reviews.
18:47Someone filed a complaint with the state medical board.
18:49I called my dad.
18:51I see it.
18:53Don't respond to anything.
18:54Don't post anything.
18:55I'll handle it.
18:56Mara...
18:57Dad, do you trust me?
19:00Yes.
19:01Then let me work.
19:07I made one mistake.
19:09That Forge screenshot had no metadata.
19:12She had edited it out.
19:13But the original file still existed in the cloud backup of her account.
19:18The one she didn't know I could access.
19:20I had it in 20 minutes.
19:22The original file had a creation times tape.
19:2411.47 p.m.
19:27My dad had been asleep for two hours by then.
19:30His phone was charging in the bedroom.
19:32His location tag showed he was home.
19:34I sent everything to three places.
19:36The school board, the state medical board, and a reporter at the local news station who had been covering the
19:41SAT story since yesterday morning.
19:45Is this Mara Scott?
19:46I'm a producer at Channel 7.
19:47We'd like to give you the chance to respond to Ivy Munro's statement.
19:49No need to respond.
19:50Check your inbox.
19:51I just sent you something better.
19:53I hung up.
19:5540 minutes later, Channel 7 posted a new segment.
19:59Forged evidence.
20:00New questions in the Harrington-Sate-T scandal.
20:06The medical board complaint against my dad was suspended, pending review.
20:10Dad called.
20:11What did you do?
20:15Exactly what I said I would.
20:17Mara, you can't keep...
20:19Dad, she tried to take your license.
20:21Your entire career.
20:23I am not going to sit and watch that happen.
20:27Come home for dinner.
20:29Mom made lasagna.
20:31That was his version of thank you.
20:37You're Mara Scott?
20:40Yeah.
20:42I'm Nate Kowalski.
20:44Hockey.
20:45I know who you are.
20:47Then you know I'm not one of Cole's guys.
20:49What do you want, Nate?
20:51I want to show you something.
20:53He showed me a screenshot from one of Ivy's private accounts, not the one I had accessed.
20:58Six months of messages between Ivy and a man I didn't recognize.
21:02My friend Marcus was supposed to get a full athletic scholarship to Boston College.
21:06Hockey.
21:06Full ride.
21:07He didn't get it because someone sent the scholarship committee an anonymous tip saying he failed a drug test.
21:11He never failed a drug test.
21:13The tip was fake.
21:17And you think Ivy did it?
21:19I know she did it.
21:21The anonymous email came from a school IP address.
21:24And Marcus turned Ivy down when she asked him out sophomore year.
21:29You've been building a file.
21:32Four months.
21:33But I don't have what you have.
21:36You got into her accounts.
21:37I can't do that.
21:42Why are you coming to me now?
21:46Because you're the first person I've seen who isn't scared of her.
21:49That evening, Nate took me to meet Marcus.
21:53You're the one who went after Ivy.
21:55Yeah.
21:56She didn't just kill my BC scholarship.
21:58She told the committee I was dealing.
22:00Dealing.
22:00I have never touched anything in my life.
22:03College coaches stopped returning my calls.
22:05My whole future just stopped.
22:06Because she was mad I didn't ask her to homecoming.
22:08I know.
22:09I'm going to get it back for you.
22:11How?
22:11Same way I handled everything else.
22:13I let her dig the hole.
22:14Then I show everyone how deep it is.
22:16What do you need from me?
22:18I registered for the November national test date.
22:20My scores came back in December.
22:221580.
22:22The highest in Harrington's recorded history.
22:24The school posted it on the announcement board.
22:26My name.
22:27My score.
22:28Right where Cole's football stats used to hang.
22:30You were holding back.
22:31The whole time.
22:33Three days later, Ivy came back.
22:39You think you won?
22:42This isn't over.
22:44Ivy.
22:45You forged evidence and filed a fake complaint against my dad's medical license.
22:50That is a felony.
22:52You should thank me for sending it to the school board instead of the DA.
22:56That's the email account she used for Marcus' fake tip.
22:59It's linked to three other accounts.
23:01She did this to other people.
23:03At least two more that I can find.
23:05Send me everything.
23:07Ivy didn't just go after Marcus.
23:09She has been doing this for years.
23:11There are other people out there who lost things they never should have lost.
23:14The first was Jordan Ellis.
23:16Junior.
23:16Track and field.
23:17She applied for the State Athletatorship Scholarship.
23:19Full tuition anywhere in the state.
23:21She didn't get it.
23:22The rejection letter said credible concerns about her character had been raised during the vetting process.
23:33I found the original tip in Ivy's archive.
23:36Same pattern.
23:37School IP address.
23:39Fake account.
23:40Sent the night before the scholarship committee met.
23:43I cried for a month after that rejection.
23:46My parents thought I wasn't good enough.
23:48I thought I wasn't good enough.
23:49You were always good enough.
23:51Someone made sure you didn't get the chance to prove it.
23:54Not anymore.
23:55The second was a kid named Dev Patel.
23:58Graduated last year.
24:00Full ride to Carnegie Mellon.
24:01Rescinded three weeks before move-in.
24:04Academic misconduct.
24:06Anonymous source.
24:07He spent the year working at a warehouse and reapplying everywhere.
24:10I sent him the file with one line.
24:13This is who did it.
24:14I thought you should know.
24:19I spent a year thinking I must have done something wrong and just didn't remember it.
24:26I don't even have words.
24:33I heard about Jordan and Dev.
24:34Nate told me.
24:35Okay.
24:36How many people did she do this to?
24:38At least four that we found.
24:39Probably more.
24:41I dated her for eight months.
24:45I know.
24:46I gave her access.
24:48My coaches.
24:49My contacts.
24:50People who trusted me.
24:52She used all of it.
24:54And I had no idea.
24:56I'm sorry, Mara.
24:57Not just about the gym.
24:58About everything.
25:00Every time I could have paid attention and didn't.
25:02I know.
25:03Cole is starting to understand how much Ivy used him.
25:08Nate had practice until 9pm on Thursdays.
25:11I started doing homework in the bleachers while he ran drills.
25:15The rink was quiet and no one bothered me.
25:18You're still here?
25:40You're still here.
25:44I think I could understand whoever is being attacked.
25:45But if I wait.
25:46If I let her keep moving.
25:47And keep lying.
25:49Eventually she's too deep to climb out and everyone can see it.
25:52That's cold.
25:54That's math.
25:56Three years at this school.
25:58Never seen anyone do what you're doing.
26:01obsessively document everything not be afraid of her
26:08come on i'll teach you to skate
26:20right now the rink is empty until 10. i fell three times
26:27the third time he caught me before i went down his hands were on my arms neither of us moved
26:34you okay i'm fine he didn't let go right away i didn't step back
26:42when this is all over where are you going miguel montreal
26:49i might know someone at schools in that area is that right hypothetically
26:56ivy just filed a second complaint with the school board claiming i had illegally accessed
27:01her accounts she is filing legal complaints now she's scared she's swinging at everything
27:07that means she is almost out of moves almost but almost is not done
27:13miss scott accessed my client's private accounts without authorization
27:17any evidence obtained from those accounts should be excluded from these proceedings
27:25mrs scott your response ivy's accounts had no protection she used the same password for all of
27:31them her dog's name and her birthday that's publicly available information she posted herself
27:37that's not hacking that's guessing that characterization oversimplified i also want to note that ivy is
27:43raising unauthorized access concerns at the same time she forged a text from my father filed a fake
27:50complaint with the state medical board and sent fake anonymous tips that destroyed the futures of at
27:55least four students at this school if we're talking about what to exclude start there i opened the folder
28:01every document time stamped the fake tip to marcus's scholarship committee at boston college
28:06the email account trace the forged screenshot of my dad's text the matamata showing it was created
28:11at 11 47 p.m while my father was asleep jordan's tip devs and the full pattern ivy tourney kept
28:17objecting the superintendent kept overruling i want to make a statement miss munro your attorney i know
28:24i want to speak for myself she looked at me for the first time since all of this started there
28:29was
28:29no performance in her eyes i did it the tips the emails all of it because i was terrified my
28:37entire
28:38identity at this school was built on something fake and i knew it was going to fall apart so i
28:44kept
28:44pushing people out of the way so no one would be standing there when it did mrs scott anything dad
28:50i thought about jordan crying for a month dev working in a warehouse marcus's face in the rank parking lot
28:57i want marcus williams which is boston college scholarship fully reinstated i want jordan ellis's
29:03leadership scholarship reconsidered and the false tip removed from her file i want dev patel's
29:08carnegie melon decision investigated and corrected that's what i want ivy can deal with whatever
29:15comes next on her own ivy stared at me she expected something else a demand for punishment a final blow
29:25i didn't want that i just wanted the people she hurt to get what they deserved
29:30the panel voted to recommend expulsion pending a 30-day review marcus's scholarship committee at
29:36boston college got a formal letter from the district the next day jordan's file was corrected
29:44cole texted me that night yale reinstated his recruitment offer i know you didn't do this
29:50that's not why i'm texting just thought you should know
29:55they reinstated it full ride same terms they said they'd hold my spot for january enrollment
30:01that's great mara thank you two words he hung up
30:10nate texted 30 seconds later he's been up since five didn't want to call too early he's been sitting
30:18there holding his phone for two hours last time i spent an entire night trying to save 15 people
30:25who didn't want to be saved this time i did one specific thing for three specific people and it
30:31worked i feel great
30:36you fixed it
30:40the committee fixed it
30:42i just gave them what they needed don't do that don't minimize it
30:46okay you're welcome you could have just handled your own stuff and walked away
30:50you didn't so don't tell me it was nothing and for what it's worth
30:53half the school is on your side now the half that matters
31:01i know you could have pushed for criminal charges you didn't
31:05why because i didn't need to you already lost everything that mattered to you
31:10i don't need to see you in handcuffs to feel okay
31:12i just needed the people you hurt to get what was theirs
31:20ivy went quiet after that the expulsion was finalized two days before winter break
31:25she didn't come back on the last day before break nate knocked on the library door
31:30ice rink tonight marcus wants to celebrate your coming
31:43you actually came
31:45you said marcus wanted to celebrate
31:47marcus is fine
31:48i wanted to see if you'd show up somewhere that wasn't a library or a hearing room
31:52stop flirting and teach her to stop falling
31:55around 11 p.m marcus and jordan went to find more food
31:58dev was on the phone
31:59just nate and me at the far end of the ice
32:04you're overthinking it
32:08i'm always overthinking it
32:09yeah i noticed
32:12stop thinking about falling
32:14think about where you want to go
32:28you're already moving toward me
32:32i saw you were going to fall
32:34how
32:35i've been watching you for a while mara
32:37he didn't let go
32:38i didn't step back
32:39i know you're leaving in august
32:41i know you have everything figured out
32:44i'm not asking to be part of your plan
32:49then what do you want
32:50just this
32:52right now
32:53whatever this is
32:55okay
32:56he kissed me
32:57simple and certain
32:59marcus wounded somewhere behind us
33:01jordan threw a napkin
33:02dev said something in another language
33:04and everyone laughed
33:05i didn't even care
33:08winter break was two weeks
33:09at nate and i spent most of it together
33:11cole sent me a text
33:13i didn't respond
33:14i didn't need to
33:15and then miguel sent me my early action decision
33:18accepted
33:18for the first time in a long time
33:20the future felt like mine
33:23the students who had been at the party took the next national test date
33:26most of them passed
33:27cole's yale recruitment held
33:29he signed his letter of intense in february
33:31in the gym in front of the whole school
33:32his jersey number was painted back on the wall
33:36hey
33:36congratulations cole
33:37thank you
33:38i mean it
33:39you could have buried me
33:40you didn't
33:40i know
33:41i'm gonna spend a long time thinking about that gym
33:44good
33:45i found something
33:46when i was clearing out my locker
33:47i had not seen that notebook since last fall
33:50i thought it was still in his equipment bag
33:52he had taken it out
33:53he was holding it with both hands
33:55i always thought coach put these together for me
33:57he always said the breakdowns came from the staff
34:02i never questioned it
34:04three seasons of notebooks
34:06and i never once asked who actually wrote them
34:08i went back and compared this one to the others
34:10the handwriting is the same across all of them
34:13and it isn't coaches
34:15this page is different from the rest of the notebook
34:17the letters are uneven
34:19the spacing is off
34:21i kept trying to figure out why
34:22then i looked at the date on the cover
34:23it's from the week of the parking lot
34:26you were hurt
34:28when you wrote this
34:29weren't you
34:31it healed
34:33show me
34:35cole
34:37please
34:49you pushed me out of the way
34:51you called 911
34:52you stayed until the ambulance came
34:55you went home and wrapped your own ankle
34:57you wrote my game notes
34:59and then you came to school the next day
35:02and i told you that you should have been at the game
35:06and then i spent a year telling everyone you were just background
35:11i understood his regret
35:12i used to imagine this moment would feel like something enormous
35:16relief
35:17release
35:18do you hate me?
35:19i thought about it
35:26i did
35:28for a long time
35:29in another life
35:30longer than you'd believe
35:30what does that mean?
35:32it means i don't anymore
35:33but we're done here
35:36i should have known
35:37i should have known
35:37a long time ago
35:42take care of yourself mara
35:44i thought about the girl
35:45who wrote that last line
35:46with blood in her sock
35:47and meant every word of it
35:48i thought about the version of me
35:50who would have waited years
35:51for this moment
35:52who would have needed it
35:53i didn't need it
35:54go to yale cole
35:55be someone different than you were here
35:58that's the whole point of leaving
36:05i looked down at the notebook
36:07he gave it back to me
36:09that was the last real conversation we had
36:12the last few months of senior year were the quietest of my life
36:15i got something in the mail today
36:18mcgill ice hockey
36:20walk-on invitation
36:21they saw my stats from this season
36:22nate
36:23i know
36:24it's your school
36:24i'm not assuming anything
36:25i just wanted you to know
36:27are you going to accept?
36:31i already did
36:32he put his arm around me
36:33and i leaned into him
36:34we sat there in the quiet
36:36the sun was out
36:37i felt good
36:40i thought about the girl
36:41who did the right thing
36:42in a parking lot
36:43and died for it
36:45feeling completely calm
36:46for the first time
36:49i did not save anyone
36:50who didn't deserve to be saved
36:52i did not protect people
36:53who used that protection
36:54as a weapon
36:56i let the ones
36:57who were going to fall
36:58walk right into it
36:59i kept my hands clean
37:01i used those clean hands
37:03to give back what was stolen
37:04that felt right
37:05that was enough
37:06there was one thing left
37:09tomorrow morning
37:09i was flying to montreal
37:11tonight nate said
37:12he'd drive me to the airport
37:13but he had something else to say
37:15i could feel it
37:16my parents drove me to the airport
37:19mom cried
37:21dad didn't
37:23but he held on a little longer than usual
37:25and before he let go
37:27he pressed a folded piece of paper
37:29into my hand
37:31i opened it on the plane
37:32his handwriting
37:33at mara
37:35i don't know what you knew
37:36or how you knew it
37:38i don't know what this year cost you
37:41but you kept us safe
37:42i see you
37:44i love you
37:45dad
37:46nate was on a different flight
37:47his parents were driving him up
37:49two days later
37:49he texted me while i was waiting
37:51at the gate
37:51found a rink four blocks from campus
37:53open skate on sunday mornings
37:55thought you should know
38:00i'm still going to fall
38:03i know
38:04i'll be there
38:12i thought about the version of myself
38:15who sat alone in a dark gym
38:17and thought that was the worst thing
38:19that would ever happen to her
38:23she wasn't wrong
38:24it was the worst thing
38:26it happened
38:28she came back from it
38:29and did something with it
38:31that was worth doing
38:36i know exactly how to nens
38:38this time
38:40it's all in my hands
38:41this time it's all in my hands
38:41it's all in my hands
38:43it's all in my hands
38:44it's all in my hands
38:45it's all in my hands
38:45it's all in my hands
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