Bob The Drag Queen - Woke Man in a Dress (2023) [Full Movie] - video Dailymotion

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Transcript

00:00:27Love the drag queen

00:00:29Love the drag queen

00:01:01Bless you

00:01:03Bless you

00:01:09Listen, I agree, I agree

00:01:12I want to start off by saying something I honestly never thought I'd say in a million years

00:01:18I am so happy to be here in Madison, Wisconsin

00:01:23I am, this is

00:01:26Oh, let me tell ya

00:01:32When I was a kid my mom said, you can go anywhere, where do you want to go?

00:01:36And I said, hear me out

00:01:41This is a weird town

00:01:45Man, this is, it's like a weird little liberal blip

00:01:48And like a very

00:01:51Concern, it's like one town over

00:01:57And it gets dangerous, you know what I mean?

00:02:01Right here I'm like, woo, yes, honey, it's going down

00:02:06And then one town over, they're like, be gone before the sun goes down

00:02:11Oh my Jesus Christ

00:02:14Welcome to Wisconsin, honey

00:02:19Smell the derriere, that's on the shirts

00:02:22Smell the derriere

00:02:25They sell that shirt at the Walmart

00:02:27What is going on here?

00:02:31It's like, y'all are crazy here

00:02:34It's cold, I can't tell if everyone is like, has the sniffles

00:02:37Or if you're all on coke

00:02:40And the answer is yes

00:02:45You know what's really wild?

00:02:47This is what's like wild, wild

00:02:49First of all, what's today's date?

00:02:52The 14th

00:02:53February, January 14th

00:02:55Of 2023

00:02:58I know

00:03:00Whoa

00:03:00Do you remember, like, when you used to say the year people would always

00:03:04Like, it's 1999

00:03:05But I was like, ah-ha-ha-ha-ha

00:03:08You remember when it was the year 2000?

00:03:11We were like, oh my God, that's the turn of the century

00:03:14Bitch, that was 23 years ago

00:03:18That is, that's one full twink ago

00:03:22That's crazy

00:03:29What in the sugar and spice is going on

00:03:33Up in this bitch

00:03:36It's crazy

00:03:38And obviously we're all fucked up now

00:03:40We don't celebrate the years anymore

00:03:41Because ever since 2020

00:03:42It feels like, it feels like this is just one continuation

00:03:46Of that, right?

00:03:47It's like we're still kind of, I know it's 2023 now

00:03:50But it is still 2020, right?

00:03:52Because of the fucking, the Ponder replay

00:03:55You know what I mean?

00:03:58And no one could have predicted that we'd be where we are

00:04:01No one, no one

00:04:02Ryan Murphy couldn't write a movie this bad

00:04:04You know what I mean?

00:04:06Like this shit is crazy

00:04:08We're out here doing shit we never thought we'd be doing

00:04:10We're out here, we're repping vaccines

00:04:12Like we're in gangs and shit

00:04:15We go hard

00:04:16We're like, Moderna, nigga

00:04:17What's good?

00:04:20It's Moderna, boy

00:04:22Pfizer, motherfucker

00:04:24Pfizer, Pfizer, honey

00:04:26We look at people with Johnson and Johnson

00:04:28Like they have prepaid phones

00:04:30We're like, oh my God

00:04:31Ew

00:04:35I'm sorry

00:04:36Johnson and Johnson?

00:04:39How y'all live like this?

00:04:40Ucha the ghetto, the ghetto

00:04:44If you got Johnson and Johnson on the first round

00:04:47That is the most two-in-one shampoo conditioner shit

00:04:50You could ever do

00:04:53Who?

00:04:54Is it from?

00:04:56That was, you know that line was all just Ford F-150s

00:04:59With truck nuts on the back of them

00:05:02And the Moderna line was like

00:05:03I'm an electric Toyota Prius

00:05:05It's everything, honey

00:05:07Who is vaccinated?

00:05:08Who's vaccinated?

00:05:11What do you have?

00:05:13Pfizer?

00:05:13Pfizer

00:05:14Anyone got Moderna?

00:05:15Moderna

00:05:16All the gays

00:05:17Dolly Parton

00:05:17We were like, we're riding with Dolly Parton

00:05:20Which one do you think I have?

00:05:22What do you think I have?

00:05:23All of them, bitch

00:05:24I have every motherfucking

00:05:25Oh yeah

00:05:26I'm collecting these shits like fucking Infinity Stones, bitch

00:05:29I'm like Thanos and this bitch

00:05:31I don't give a fuck

00:05:32Put it in my food

00:05:33Put it in my drinks

00:05:34Sow it into my clothes

00:05:35Put that shit in a crop duster

00:05:37And fly from Key West to fucking Spokane, Washington, bitch

00:05:40I don't give a fuck

00:05:41I would be standing outside with my mouth open wide

00:05:48If all the vaccines

00:05:54We're learning more about people

00:05:56Now there's new subcultures of people are popping up

00:06:00Anti-vaxxers are like popping up

00:06:03I don't know

00:06:03And if you're

00:06:04Listen, if you're here

00:06:05And you are an anti-vaxxer

00:06:07Fuck you

00:06:08No, listen

00:06:09Listen

00:06:13And they know that me saying that

00:06:16You're probably a little bit uncomfortable

00:06:18And honestly, good

00:06:20Because

00:06:22Bitch, that's how we feel around you all the time

00:06:29You can spot the anti-vaxxer like

00:06:31You know, I don't think that one was very funny

00:06:37Go back to the cocaine jokes

00:06:40Those were better

00:06:44And by the way

00:06:45Being an anti-vaxxer

00:06:46That is

00:06:47It's not just like a conservative

00:06:48That is fucking bipartisan

00:06:49That shit crosses parties

00:06:51You think it

00:06:51Because it's wild

00:06:53The people

00:06:53My cousin was like

00:06:54They're trying to track us

00:06:56I was like

00:06:57Bitch, you're a fucking middle school teacher

00:06:59From Corinth, Mississippi

00:07:02Bitch, the government doesn't want your fucking elections plans

00:07:04Okay

00:07:05Jennifer

00:07:09I was

00:07:09So in New York City

00:07:10Like

00:07:11Especially in the beginning

00:07:12Like in 2021

00:07:13You could not

00:07:14Get into any

00:07:16Establishment

00:07:17Unless you showed your vaccine card

00:07:18You had to have a picture of it

00:07:20Or have a carrier on your fucking person

00:07:21Or they wouldn't let you in

00:07:22And one of my friends was like

00:07:23I'm not fucking

00:07:24I don't know what's in that

00:07:25I'm not getting the vaccine

00:07:27I was like

00:07:28Bitch, I just watched you do

00:07:29Blow off a go-go boy's dick

00:07:31In the bathroom

00:07:36And now you're

00:07:37Farm to table

00:07:38Oh, okay

00:07:38Oh, oh, yeah

00:07:40No

00:07:40No, no, no

00:07:42That's good

00:07:42That makes sense

00:07:43That makes sense

00:07:47I don't know

00:07:48I watched you buy a cave

00:07:50From a guy with 3D

00:07:53Bitch

00:07:57My patience is running out

00:08:00But also

00:08:00There was some

00:08:02Some good stuff

00:08:02That came out of

00:08:03You know

00:08:04The Panda Express

00:08:05We learned a lot

00:08:07All of us are

00:08:08Scientists now

00:08:11We're all tech wizards

00:08:12Everyone's a tech wizard

00:08:13My grandma knows how to zoom

00:08:14That's amazing

00:08:17Also, like

00:08:17People are talking more

00:08:18There's a lot more conversations

00:08:19Going on

00:08:20Like

00:08:20Black folks and white folks

00:08:21Are talking to each other

00:08:22I don't know if the

00:08:23White folks are listening

00:08:24But

00:08:25But black folks are talking

00:08:27That I can confirm

00:08:28I know for a fact

00:08:30Is anyone here

00:08:31Okay, like

00:08:32It's just

00:08:34Has anyone here ever been

00:08:35In an interracial relationship

00:08:36Make some noise

00:08:37Ever been in an interracial relationship

00:08:38Make some noise

00:08:39Everyone else just racist

00:08:40Got it

00:08:41Okay

00:08:42Just checking

00:08:43Just checking

00:08:44It's wild, right

00:08:46It's like a culture shock

00:08:47You're like

00:08:47Oh, oh

00:08:48This is just how you

00:08:48Okay

00:08:49Yeah

00:08:50Nope

00:08:50That makes sense

00:08:51I just didn't know

00:08:52You know what I mean

00:08:53Like for example

00:08:54My boyfriend is Jewish

00:08:55Please don't tell Kanye West

00:08:59Bitch

00:08:59That was not in my 2022

00:09:00Bingo card

00:09:01I was like

00:09:02What

00:09:02What is happening now

00:09:04This is crazy

00:09:07My boyfriend's Jewish

00:09:08I have a white boyfriend

00:09:09So I'm trying to learn

00:09:10About like

00:09:11What it's like

00:09:11Okay, here's a question

00:09:12To white folks in the room

00:09:13And there's

00:09:14There's a few of you here

00:09:16Yeah

00:09:17At least three

00:09:19At least three

00:09:20I can confirm that

00:09:22This is a genuine question

00:09:23I want to know

00:09:24I need answers

00:09:26Why

00:09:27Does the house

00:09:28Need to be

00:09:30That cold

00:09:36Because like

00:09:38I'm in my home

00:09:40Where I live

00:09:41And pay

00:09:42A mortgage

00:09:43Bitch

00:09:44Why is the thermostat

00:09:45Set to let it go

00:09:46What's happening

00:09:50Why are we trying

00:09:51To become one

00:09:52With the wind and sky

00:09:53Bitch

00:09:53What is going on

00:09:55And then you ask

00:09:56White people

00:09:57They all have

00:09:58The exact same answer

00:09:59Every time

00:10:00White like

00:10:00It's a cold

00:10:01They all go

00:10:01I love to bundle up

00:10:08I love to bundle up

00:10:11Oh my god

00:10:12Oh

00:10:12A sweater

00:10:14A sweater

00:10:15Oh a sweater

00:10:18Y'all niggas love sweaters

00:10:20A sweater

00:10:21Hot cocoa

00:10:22Hot cocoa

00:10:25White folks are the reason

00:10:27Why the Snuggie

00:10:28Is a billion dollar company

00:10:30This is crazy

00:10:34White folks

00:10:35The only people

00:10:36In the world

00:10:36Who pay a lot of money

00:10:38In electricity

00:10:39To make their homes

00:10:40Uncomfortable

00:10:41And then spend

00:10:42More money

00:10:43In sweaters

00:10:44And hot cocoa

00:10:46Trying to get

00:10:47Comfortable again

00:10:48Bitch

00:10:48Make it

00:10:49Make sense

00:10:49Bitch

00:10:53I'm learning

00:10:54Like

00:10:54Because everyone

00:10:55Like

00:10:55I feel like

00:10:55We all thought

00:10:56Like the scariest

00:10:57White

00:10:57Because white people

00:10:58Are the scariest

00:10:58People on the planet

00:10:59White people

00:11:00Are an invasive species

00:11:01White people are

00:11:03Y'all are the original

00:11:04Coronavirus

00:11:05Y'all are everywhere

00:11:07It's like

00:11:08The white

00:11:09It's spreading

00:11:15Was that like

00:11:15The biggest

00:11:16Scariest

00:11:16Like a

00:11:17Six foot

00:11:18Two

00:11:19Like

00:11:20Redneck

00:11:20From Alabama

00:11:21Named Bubba

00:11:21Is scary

00:11:22No

00:11:22It's like

00:11:22The more innocent

00:11:23That's the scary

00:11:24Motherfuckers

00:11:25I was in my hotel

00:11:26Last night

00:11:26I got in late

00:11:27I'm minding my business

00:11:28You mind your business

00:11:29I got in late last night

00:11:30And I was in the lobby

00:11:31By myself

00:11:32It's like

00:11:32Two o'clock

00:11:32In the morning

00:11:33Right

00:11:33And the elevator

00:11:34Doors open

00:11:35I'm in the lobby

00:11:35Alone

00:11:36The elevator doors open

00:11:37There is a

00:11:38Five year old

00:11:39White girl

00:11:39By herself

00:11:42In the elevator

00:11:43Bitch

00:11:43Jump scared

00:11:44I was like

00:11:44Go

00:11:45Oh my

00:11:53She wasn't scared

00:11:54She was like

00:11:57And this bitch

00:11:58Had to get off

00:11:58The elevator

00:11:59On my floor

00:12:00I said

00:12:00No bitch

00:12:02I sent this bitch

00:12:03To every floor

00:12:04I said

00:12:05You're not about

00:12:06To make a harambe

00:12:07Out of me bitch

00:12:07Not today

00:12:11I was like

00:12:12What in the

00:12:13John Quinonez

00:12:14Is going on

00:12:14Up in here

00:12:18You know who I feel

00:12:18Really bad for

00:12:19Honestly

00:12:19I feel

00:12:20I honestly feel

00:12:21I feel bad

00:12:21For the Gen Z's

00:12:22I really do

00:12:23Cause they turn

00:12:24A lot of them

00:12:25Turn into adults

00:12:25During the pandemic

00:12:27They think this is like

00:12:28This is what life is

00:12:29Like this is it honey

00:12:30Like is anyone here

00:12:31Under 21

00:12:32Who here is like

00:12:32Anyone here

00:12:33Anyone here under 21

00:12:34Anyone like 19

00:12:35Or something

00:12:35Anyone

00:12:36No

00:12:37How old are you

00:12:40So proud

00:12:47We're 24

00:12:48But honey

00:12:48We're Gen Z

00:12:52She was like

00:12:53Younger than you

00:12:54Bitch

00:12:54Younger than you

00:12:59We

00:12:59Us

00:13:01What's your name

00:13:02Gen Z

00:13:04I'm Avery

00:13:05Yeah you are

00:13:05Gen Z

00:13:06That is

00:13:07I don't know

00:13:08What it is

00:13:08Gen Z

00:13:09Their parents

00:13:10Give them

00:13:10These old witch names

00:13:11Alright

00:13:12Like oh

00:13:13Here comes

00:13:14Old Avery

00:13:19Avery's like

00:13:20And these are my friends

00:13:21Agnes and Gertrude

00:13:24Use my promo code

00:13:25For 10% off

00:13:29Avery

00:13:30Avery what are your pronouns

00:13:31She her

00:13:32Ooh

00:13:32Retro

00:13:33I love that

00:13:33Old school

00:13:33Nice

00:13:35I'm from LA

00:13:35We don't see a lot of that

00:13:36There's not a lot of folks

00:13:37On factory settings

00:13:38In LA

00:13:38That's really cool

00:13:39Love that

00:13:40That's so cool

00:13:41That is so cool

00:13:44I love those vintage pronouns

00:13:46That's nice

00:13:53Avery

00:13:56Avery what year were you born?

00:13:5819

00:13:59Yeah

00:14:00Yeah

00:14:01Let that sink in

00:14:02Yeah

00:14:03Fill that

00:14:04With your old asses

00:14:081998

00:14:091998

00:14:09You remember 1998

00:14:11You were on your second marriage

00:14:16You were in grad school

00:14:19Bitchy you were still straight back in 1998

00:14:26And Avery was like

00:14:28Wah

00:14:39Bitch I'm a whole ass baby

00:14:49Fucking Avery

00:14:50Fucking Avery

00:14:51Cause the crazy thing is Avery

00:14:52You don't even know

00:14:55That's how young you are

00:14:56You don't even know

00:14:58And what's crazy about that Avery

00:15:00Is you don't even know

00:15:02What you don't even know

00:15:04Cause bitch

00:15:05You don't even fucking know

00:15:08That is wild to me

00:15:11Like Netflix

00:15:12You know Netflix

00:15:13Right

00:15:13No you don't bitch

00:15:14You know what Netflix is

00:15:15Now you know how we used to Netflix

00:15:17Bitch in my day

00:15:20Netflix would literally mail you a pamphlet Avery

00:15:24Netflix they had your home address

00:15:28They knew where you lived

00:15:30They would mail a pamphlet to your house

00:15:33And you would take something called a number two pencil right

00:15:37You had to fill out all the DVDs you

00:15:40Oh shit okay

00:15:41A DVD is like um

00:15:44How do I describe to Avery

00:15:45It's like oh if TikTok was on like a pancake

00:15:50Okay you get it okay

00:15:52You had to fill out all the DVDs you want

00:15:55And then you had to mail that back to the actual Netflix building

00:16:00And then in four to 48 weeks

00:16:07They would mail you back a DVD in a paper thin envelope

00:16:12And be like if you don't mail back this copy of Nutty Professor 2

00:16:17We're going to charge you $98,000

00:16:22And you're on your phone like

00:16:25Show me euphoria

00:16:28Must be nice honey

00:16:30Must be nice

00:16:32Everything was different

00:16:33It was all wild

00:16:35It was crazy

00:16:36Like you can listen to

00:16:37This is wild

00:16:38We think about this

00:16:39This is wild

00:16:39You have Spotify

00:16:41We have Spotify now

00:16:42You have every song in the world

00:16:45Every song in the world

00:16:49All of them

00:16:50We used to literally

00:16:51It was like Grand Larceny on Napster

00:16:54Like you have to hack the mainframe

00:17:01I got 98% of destiny fulfilled by destiny's child

00:17:05Trying to change artists in the car was a whole circus

00:17:13Let me paint a picture for you

00:17:14First of all

00:17:15You're at the red light

00:17:16Because you can only change artists

00:17:18At the red light Avery

00:17:20You're in your Ford Focus

00:17:22We all drove a Ford Focus back then

00:17:24Everyone

00:17:25Drove a Ford Focus

00:17:27All right

00:17:27You fucking get there

00:17:28And then

00:17:29Okay it's the red light

00:17:30I have like

00:17:30Just like 30 seconds

00:17:32You have to reach

00:17:32All the way back into the back seat

00:17:34This arm was so strong back then

00:17:36You grab the

00:17:38It's like there's a 40 pound leather book

00:17:40In the back seat

00:17:41It's like

00:17:41Like Thor with Mjolnir

00:17:46You're like

00:17:46I hope no one's there

00:17:50Because they're dead now

00:17:51You just crush their legs

00:17:53And you are frantically flipping through

00:17:56Trying to find a copy of fucking

00:17:58No strings attached by NSYNC

00:18:00Or some shit

00:18:02And there's a PT Cruiser next to you

00:18:04Revving his engine

00:18:05That was a weird car

00:18:07Fucking

00:18:08And then you finally get a copy of it

00:18:10You go to put it in the fucking CD player

00:18:13But there's already a fucking CD in there

00:18:15You forgot

00:18:15So you have to press the button

00:18:16It slowly goes

00:18:17Now you have to take this

00:18:20Put this CD down

00:18:21Grab this CD

00:18:22But you don't

00:18:22You don't put this CD back in the

00:18:24No no no

00:18:24This CD go

00:18:25There's right in this

00:18:29Bitch this

00:18:30This was your Spotify raps

00:18:32Right here honey

00:18:32This was

00:18:34Baby

00:18:36These CDs were so

00:18:42Madness

00:18:44That's insane

00:18:45That is wild

00:18:48Is anyone here

00:18:49No clue who I am

00:18:50Be honest

00:18:51Don't be

00:18:51You're just like a

00:18:52Season ticket holder

00:18:54Here at Comedy on State

00:18:55You're like

00:18:55Oh I guess

00:18:56Wesley Snipes

00:18:57Is still doing that

00:18:58Too one food thing

00:19:00You

00:19:01What's your name baby

00:19:03Dana

00:19:04Hey Dana

00:19:05Everyone say hi Dana

00:19:06Hi Dana

00:19:07How are you

00:19:09Oh nice

00:19:10So Dana

00:19:11You probably don't

00:19:11Because how did you

00:19:12How did you end up here

00:19:12Who did you come with

00:19:13This is her birthday

00:19:14Oh happy birthday my dear

00:19:16Happy birthday

00:19:17And she's your friend

00:19:19Okay nice

00:19:20Well Dana

00:19:20Let me introduce myself

00:19:21To you Dana

00:19:22I am

00:19:22My name is Bob

00:19:23The Drag Queen

00:19:24Thank you

00:19:26I was

00:19:27Years ago

00:19:28I was on a show

00:19:28Called RuPaul's Drag Race

00:19:30Right

00:19:30Yeah

00:19:39I actually won the show

00:19:41If you can believe it

00:19:42I

00:19:47Dana was like

00:19:48You

00:19:48Oh god damn

00:19:50Who bitch

00:19:51Who else was there

00:19:53Derek Barry

00:19:53Is the answer to that question

00:19:55It was the

00:19:57Bitch

00:19:58It was the

00:19:59I had the easy pass

00:20:00I was like

00:20:04I'm loving it

00:20:06It was great

00:20:08And then I have a podcast

00:20:09I do with my best friend

00:20:10Called

00:20:10Cyblic Rivalry

00:20:11Yes

00:20:14And now I'm on a show

00:20:15Called

00:20:16We're Here

00:20:16On HBO

00:20:18Emmy award winning show

00:20:24I just don't want you

00:20:25To be lost

00:20:26Throughout the evening

00:20:27Because these

00:20:28There's some references

00:20:29Dana

00:20:30What do you do

00:20:31For a living

00:20:31By the way

00:20:32I'm the executive director

00:20:34Of Rio

00:20:34Racism

00:20:35Okay

00:20:40And I'm gonna

00:20:40Move on from that

00:20:42Alright

00:20:42That was

00:20:46Read the room

00:20:47Dana

00:20:49Just say accounting

00:20:50Next time

00:20:51We will

00:20:51No one will be mad at you

00:20:53If you just say

00:20:53I'm an accountant

00:20:55Jesus Christ

00:21:01I'm an executive

00:21:02That's a nice one too

00:21:03You know what I mean

00:21:05My goodness

00:21:07You have any kids

00:21:08Dana

00:21:09How many kids

00:21:10You got

00:21:12One to hold

00:21:13He is

00:21:14Eighteen

00:21:14One of Avery's friends

00:21:16Probably

00:21:20She's like

00:21:20I don't

00:21:23I mean

00:21:23Dana

00:21:26Call your mom's here

00:21:27Acting crazy again

00:21:33How many parents are here

00:21:35Parents make some noise

00:21:36Damn y'all sound tired as hell

00:21:38God damn

00:21:40Y'all like

00:21:41Whoa

00:21:45This song

00:21:46Y'all like

00:21:46Don't make me think

00:21:47About these motherfuckers

00:21:50I kind of want

00:21:51I kind of do want

00:21:52To have kids

00:21:52Because the thing is

00:21:53Like millennial

00:21:54Jesus Christ

00:21:57I hope you're not here

00:21:57With your children

00:22:00She was like

00:22:00No

00:22:01Look at her child

00:22:01Don't do it

00:22:05You know what I mean

00:22:05They will ruin your life

00:22:08Well the thing is

00:22:09Like

00:22:09Like queer millennials

00:22:11We are the first generation

00:22:12To kind of be like

00:22:13Because we got marriage equality

00:22:14In our like late teens

00:22:15And our early twenties

00:22:16We were like

00:22:16Honestly

00:22:17We should be getting married

00:22:18Let's fucking

00:22:19And like

00:22:20The boomer gang is like

00:22:21Fuck that fucking

00:22:22Straight marriage bullshit

00:22:23But the young ones

00:22:24Like we can do

00:22:25We got it honey

00:22:26We're going to fucking do it

00:22:27And I kind of want to have kids

00:22:28But I'm afraid to

00:22:29Because

00:22:30I feel like

00:22:31No matter how good of a parent you are

00:22:32You can be a great

00:22:33My mom

00:22:33Her name is Martha Caldwell

00:22:35Yes

00:22:38Her name is Martha

00:22:39Sound like one of Avery's friends

00:22:43Martha

00:22:45And she's a great

00:22:46My mom was a

00:22:47She's a great mom

00:22:47My mom raised two boys by herself

00:22:49In Georgia in the 90s

00:22:51That is no

00:22:52And one of them was a maniac

00:22:54And there was me

00:22:59So like

00:23:00But no matter how good of a parent you are

00:23:02You are going to traumatize your children

00:23:05At least a little bit

00:23:07You can't not traumatize your children

00:23:11At least

00:23:11You remember every fucking thing

00:23:14About when

00:23:15You remember what you were wearing

00:23:16What song was on the radio

00:23:18What day of the week it was

00:23:19Everything

00:23:20You go and you're like

00:23:21Mom you said this

00:23:22And it really

00:23:22It really affected me

00:23:24You have to build up a lot of courage

00:23:25Like 20 years later

00:23:26Mom you said this

00:23:26And it really affected me

00:23:28Your mom's like

00:23:28I said that?

00:23:32Jesus

00:23:35Anyway

00:23:35I made chicken tenders

00:23:36Coming downstairs

00:23:40Sorry

00:23:41Like I still remember

00:23:42One of the times

00:23:43My mom traumatized me

00:23:44This shit like fucking

00:23:45Rocked my mind

00:23:45Okay

00:23:46I was about 14 years old

00:23:48Like I was a theater kid

00:23:49Anyone that's here

00:23:50Was a theater kid?

00:23:52Of course you're all gay

00:23:53Of course you're theater kids

00:23:56So I'm a theater kid

00:23:58I'm about 14 years old

00:23:59And I am walking into rehearsals

00:24:02Okay

00:24:02And now my mom's a boomer

00:24:04From Mississippi

00:24:04So I'm walking into rehearsal

00:24:05Or as Martha Caldwell called it

00:24:07Play practice

00:24:08Okay

00:24:08I'm 14

00:24:10Walking into play practice

00:24:11And Martha Caldwell goes

00:24:12Hey

00:24:12And I turn around

00:24:22And my mom looks at me

00:24:24At 14

00:24:25She goes

00:24:25Whatever you do

00:24:27In that building

00:24:29Do not

00:24:30Embarrass yourself

00:24:33In front of these

00:24:37And then she rolled

00:24:39Up the window

00:24:40And just fucking

00:24:42And drove away

00:24:46And I was like

00:24:47What?

00:24:49Now some of y'all

00:24:50Confused

00:24:50Because you

00:24:50Because you probably

00:24:51Don't recognize

00:24:52What's your name?

00:24:54Jessica

00:24:54Are you white?

00:24:55I mean yeah

00:24:55You're glowing the dog

00:24:56You are

00:24:58You're fluorescent

00:24:59At this point

00:24:59You know what I mean

00:25:00Like

00:25:00Like you're so white

00:25:01You should apologize

00:25:02To me

00:25:06So we

00:25:07Because we have

00:25:08Stuff like this

00:25:09Do you know what this means?

00:25:10Of course not

00:25:10Because you are

00:25:10Listen

00:25:11I'll explain it

00:25:11Listen

00:25:12Black people

00:25:13We

00:25:14I shouldn't be saying this

00:25:15No

00:25:16I'm trying

00:25:16We're trying

00:25:17We're improving

00:25:18Relationships

00:25:19Between black and white

00:25:19I'm telling you this

00:25:20Alright

00:25:20Give me your name again

00:25:22Jessica

00:25:22Listen

00:25:22Black people

00:25:23We have these

00:25:24These monthly meetings

00:25:29Have you noticed

00:25:29That you've never seen

00:25:30A black person

00:25:31On the third Monday

00:25:32Of a month?

00:25:33It's like

00:25:34Oh my god

00:25:37Terrence

00:25:37The office

00:25:38Is never there

00:25:39On the third Monday

00:25:39Of the month

00:25:41Yeah

00:25:41Because we

00:25:42And we meet in places

00:25:43You would never

00:25:44Think to find us

00:25:45We're in like Atlanta

00:25:46We're in Detroit

00:25:47The seasoning aisle

00:25:49At the grocery store

00:25:50Places you would never go

00:25:51You wouldn't even think

00:25:53To walk down the aisle

00:25:54We all meet there

00:26:00And we establish things

00:26:02Amongst us

00:26:02Because black people

00:26:03We have a

00:26:04We actually

00:26:05We have superpowers

00:26:06And we're not supposed

00:26:07To tell you about this

00:26:08We have our own

00:26:09Sign languages

00:26:10That we use

00:26:11Me and all the

00:26:12Black folks in this room

00:26:13We are all connected

00:26:14To each other

00:26:14Very intimate

00:26:15And we can communicate

00:26:17A lot with just

00:26:18Just a look

00:26:19But it actually

00:26:20Is a real language

00:26:21In like BSL

00:26:23Black sign language

00:26:25Like me and this

00:26:25Sister right here

00:26:26I can be like

00:26:28I just told her

00:26:29Everything I ate

00:26:30For lunch

00:26:33She was like

00:26:34Damn

00:26:34With ranch?

00:26:35I was like

00:26:35With ranch

00:26:40And we use

00:26:41These signs

00:26:41To communicate

00:26:42With each other

00:26:42So this is one

00:26:43Of our signs

00:26:44Jessica

00:26:46Now

00:26:46You see

00:26:47This side of my hand

00:26:48Is much lighter

00:26:49Than this side of my hand

00:26:50Did you notice that?

00:26:51Look at your hand

00:26:52You didn't get that upgrade

00:26:54No you don't

00:26:56That's the next

00:26:57Evolution chart

00:27:01And they get the wings

00:27:02Maybe

00:27:05This side of my hand

00:27:06Is much lighter

00:27:06Than this side of my hand

00:27:07So this means

00:27:08Something to us

00:27:09This means

00:27:09And listen carefully

00:27:10Jessica

00:27:10This means

00:27:11White people

00:27:13Now it does not

00:27:14Mean white

00:27:15It's not

00:27:16You can't

00:27:16They're not

00:27:17Interchangeable

00:27:18You can't be like

00:27:18I'm gonna paint my house

00:27:19What color?

00:27:21No

00:27:22That is not

00:27:23What that means

00:27:24It means

00:27:25White people

00:27:26Okay

00:27:27And we use this

00:27:28All the time

00:27:29My mom's gonna call me

00:27:30Tonight after this show

00:27:31Like how was this show

00:27:31Like it was great

00:27:32I had so much fun

00:27:33The lady in front

00:27:34Named Jessica

00:27:35Nice though

00:27:36I liked her

00:27:36She was lovely

00:27:38Just enough

00:27:39Not too much

00:27:40You know what I mean

00:27:42Now Jessica

00:27:43This

00:27:44Do you remember

00:27:45What this means?

00:27:45What does this mean?

00:27:47White people

00:27:47Give Jessica a round of applause

00:27:48White people

00:27:48Yes

00:27:50Now Jessica

00:27:51We're not done

00:27:51Because there's

00:27:52There's more

00:27:52There's more sign language

00:27:54Now this side of my hand

00:27:55Is light

00:27:56This side is dark

00:27:56So this means something

00:27:58But we also

00:27:59This means something too

00:28:00So if this means

00:28:01White people

00:28:02What do you think

00:28:03This means

00:28:04And Jessica

00:28:04Watch your motherfucking mouth

00:28:10Don't

00:28:11Jessica don't get crazy

00:28:13Don't embarrass me

00:28:15Okay

00:28:16And just

00:28:17Before we get there

00:28:18Jessica's like

00:28:19Please

00:28:19I have a family

00:28:20Please

00:28:20I have a job

00:28:21Please

00:28:24I'll go to the seasoning

00:28:25I'll next month

00:28:25I'll be there

00:28:26I'll be there

00:28:26I'll take notes

00:28:27I'll take notes

00:28:30This means

00:28:31Now before I say it

00:28:32Before you

00:28:32Take your guess

00:28:33I want to

00:28:34Tell you some things

00:28:35Set some ground rules

00:28:36Okay

00:28:36Now let's see

00:28:38Black folks

00:28:38In our own home

00:28:39We don't

00:28:40We don't say

00:28:40African American

00:28:41We just say that

00:28:42To make white people

00:28:43Uncomfortable

00:28:46We don't say that

00:28:47Imagine black folks

00:28:47That how I'm

00:28:48African American

00:28:49Nigga shut the fuck up

00:28:50We don't say that

00:28:51I'm African American

00:28:55We are African Americans

00:28:56In this house

00:28:57We don't say that shit

00:28:58Okay

00:29:00Think about it

00:29:01This means white people

00:29:04Jessica

00:29:07What do you think

00:29:07This means

00:29:09Black people

00:29:10Black people

00:29:11Give her a round of applause

00:29:11Yes

00:29:13Jessica's like

00:29:19That means black people

00:29:21Yes

00:29:21Okay

00:29:21So you have to imagine

00:29:22I am 14 years old

00:29:25Walking in a play practice

00:29:27Okay

00:29:27And Martha Caldwell goes

00:29:30Hey

00:29:35Whatever you do

00:29:37In that building

00:29:38Do not embarrass yourself

00:29:41In front of these

00:29:44And then she fucking

00:29:48Avery has no clue

00:29:49What I'm doing

00:29:54Avery's like

00:29:55She made biscuits

00:29:56In the car

00:29:56Biscuits

00:29:58What

00:29:58That's crazy

00:30:00This is rolling up

00:30:02The window

00:30:02That's how we used to

00:30:04Roll up the window

00:30:05Before Elon Musk

00:30:06Brought Twitter

00:30:06We used to do this

00:30:12Avery's like

00:30:13Leave me alone

00:30:16And then she fucking

00:30:17Drove off

00:30:18And left me there

00:30:18I was afraid

00:30:19To be around white people

00:30:20I was nervous

00:30:21That made me nervous

00:30:22I was like

00:30:22Am I gonna embarrass myself

00:30:23Just by being around

00:30:24White people

00:30:24This shit makes me nervous

00:30:25My mom made me afraid

00:30:26My mom made me scared

00:30:27Of Jehovah's Witnesses

00:30:29Ooh baby

00:30:29I was afraid

00:30:30Anyone else here

00:30:30Have like religious trauma

00:30:32Anyone else

00:30:33Of course

00:30:34You're all gay

00:30:35Of course you do

00:30:37You have to imagine

00:30:38It's like

00:30:39First of all

00:30:39Okay

00:30:39Before I get into this

00:30:40Is anyone here

00:30:42Like religious

00:30:43Like for real

00:30:43Not like

00:30:44I was raised

00:30:44Like you're like

00:30:45You were like

00:30:46It's for real

00:30:46I believe it

00:30:47Don't deny him

00:30:48Three times

00:30:48You heard it

00:30:50Don't

00:30:51Don't be like Peter

00:30:56Cause I learned

00:30:57Some stuff

00:30:58Cause

00:30:58Oh my god

00:30:59Is anyone here

00:31:00Like a real Catholic

00:31:01Not like I was raised

00:31:02But you were like

00:31:03It's for real

00:31:03Anyone here

00:31:05No one

00:31:05Okay great

00:31:06Let's talk about them

00:31:07Cause this shit is crazy

00:31:08This shit is crazy

00:31:11Crazy

00:31:13I found this out

00:31:15This is wild

00:31:16Catholics for real

00:31:18For real

00:31:18Like believe

00:31:19For real

00:31:20That when they do

00:31:21The fucking communion

00:31:23Anyone know about this

00:31:24This is crazy

00:31:25Isn't it crazy

00:31:26It's crazy

00:31:27They actually believe

00:31:29When they eat

00:31:30That fucking

00:31:30Fucking

00:31:31Saltine cracker

00:31:32And they drink

00:31:34That fucking

00:31:34Boone's Farm

00:31:35Great

00:31:36Wine

00:31:38They believe

00:31:39That once it passes

00:31:40Their throat

00:31:41In their bodies

00:31:42It actually

00:31:43Turns into

00:31:45The

00:31:46Dead body

00:31:47Of Jesus

00:31:48Fucking Christ

00:31:50And into

00:31:52His blood

00:31:53I'm like

00:31:54Oh so

00:31:55So you're eating

00:31:55From a

00:31:562000 year old

00:31:57Charcuterie board

00:32:04But you won't get

00:32:05The vaccine

00:32:05Oh okay

00:32:06Oh no

00:32:07No no

00:32:08That

00:32:09No that makes

00:32:10It scans

00:32:10That scans

00:32:14It's crazy

00:32:17My mom got me

00:32:18Fucking afraid

00:32:18Of Jehovah's Witnesses

00:32:20You have to

00:32:20Okay I was maybe

00:32:21Like five years old

00:32:22We were at home

00:32:22On a Sunday morning

00:32:23And we heard

00:32:24At the front door

00:32:27Now my mom went

00:32:28To go look

00:32:28See who it is

00:32:29Now black moms

00:32:30Never look

00:32:31Through the peephole

00:32:32They always go

00:32:33To the window

00:32:36I don't know

00:32:37I don't know

00:32:38What it is

00:32:39They always do

00:32:39Like a little

00:32:40Sideways

00:32:40South Park walk

00:32:41To look through

00:32:45The window

00:32:46We're at home

00:32:49My mom does

00:32:49A little Eric Cartman

00:32:52Then she pulls

00:32:53And she goes

00:32:53Everyone get down

00:32:54I was like

00:32:54What

00:32:55So we're all

00:32:56She's like

00:32:56Get down

00:32:57Turn the lights off

00:32:57Everyone go

00:32:58I was like

00:32:59What

00:33:00Now my mom

00:33:00This is crazy

00:33:01My mom was one of the folks

00:33:02Who was like

00:33:02Never afraid of anything

00:33:04She's like

00:33:04My mom was one of the folks

00:33:05She used to literally say

00:33:06If you see me in a fight

00:33:07With a bear

00:33:08You better help the bear

00:33:10That is a literal quote

00:33:11My mom used to say

00:33:12To me all the time

00:33:13So I'm like

00:33:14What could be

00:33:15On the other side

00:33:16Of this door

00:33:17That has my mom

00:33:18Freaking out

00:33:19She's on the ground

00:33:20I'm like

00:33:20Mom what is it

00:33:21She looks at me

00:33:21A tear falls

00:33:22And she goes

00:33:25It's Jehovah's Witnesses

00:33:28I am five

00:33:29I have never seen

00:33:30A Jehovah's Witness

00:33:31In my fucking life

00:33:34Okay

00:33:34I don't know

00:33:34What's on your face

00:33:35I saw

00:33:36A week later

00:33:36I was watching

00:33:37Alien vs. Prater

00:33:38I said

00:33:38Bitch is that

00:33:38A Jehovah's Witness

00:33:39I don't fucking know

00:33:42I've never seen one

00:33:44I was like

00:33:45I want to go look at it

00:33:46She goes

00:33:46Don't look at it

00:33:47I was like

00:33:47Is this a bird box

00:33:48What is going on

00:33:51Don't look at it

00:33:52Please

00:33:57Religion is

00:33:57That was the beginning

00:33:58Of my religious trauma

00:33:59Because religion is so

00:33:59It's so crazy

00:34:00It's so wild

00:34:01I started reading

00:34:03I was raised

00:34:04Southern Baptist

00:34:05Which is

00:34:06I know

00:34:07It is wild

00:34:09Because it's kind of

00:34:11A weird sect of

00:34:12Christianity

00:34:12Because like

00:34:14Honestly

00:34:14You can

00:34:15Kind of do

00:34:16Whatever you want

00:34:17To do

00:34:18Except like

00:34:19Three things

00:34:20And this is

00:34:21Two of them

00:34:31This is like

00:34:32Sorry sorry sorry

00:34:33Blood of Christ

00:34:33And you're good

00:34:34Right

00:34:35So I grew up

00:34:36With a lot of resentments

00:34:37About God

00:34:37I started reading

00:34:38Of the God

00:34:38Of the Bible

00:34:39I was like

00:34:39I gotta find out

00:34:39About this

00:34:40This

00:34:40This God

00:34:41And I started reading

00:34:42God is like

00:34:43Petty

00:34:45Jealous

00:34:47Vengeful

00:34:47I was like

00:34:48Bitch

00:34:48Am I God

00:34:54Bitch

00:34:55It me

00:34:56Am I right

00:34:59Because like

00:35:00The stories in the Bible

00:35:01Are wild

00:35:02Who grew up religious

00:35:03Who grew up religious

00:35:04Especially Christians

00:35:05Specifically Christian

00:35:05The stories

00:35:06Aren't the stories

00:35:07They're wild right

00:35:08It is hard to get

00:35:10Into the pearly gates

00:35:11Also why is heaven

00:35:11A gated community

00:35:12What is going on

00:35:14Bitch

00:35:14Who lives next door

00:35:16What is going on

00:35:18St. Peter's like

00:35:20Girl I wouldn't leave

00:35:20My stuff in my car

00:35:21Outside if I was you

00:35:23Honey

00:35:24They crazy next door

00:35:25At purgatory

00:35:26It is wild over there

00:35:27Honey

00:35:29There's a gate

00:35:30Around heaven

00:35:31What is happening

00:35:32What is it

00:35:33Mor-a-Lago

00:35:34What is going on

00:35:39Who here

00:35:39For real

00:35:40Who is queer here

00:35:41Who's actually queer

00:35:42Make some noise

00:35:44I love that

00:35:45That's how

00:35:45That's how you cheer

00:35:46To be queer

00:35:47In 2023

00:35:47But there

00:35:48This is the best time

00:35:49To be queer

00:35:50There is no

00:35:50I wouldn't go back

00:35:51Not even three weeks

00:35:52Okay

00:35:54This is the

00:35:55This is the time

00:35:56And Avery

00:35:56It wasn't always like this

00:35:57Avery

00:35:58Because back in the day

00:35:59They could say

00:36:00Anything they wanted

00:36:01About us

00:36:02I mean

00:36:02And they did

00:36:03Oh baby

00:36:04They did

00:36:05Eminem would just

00:36:06Call us fucking

00:36:06Faggots

00:36:07On TV

00:36:08In a song

00:36:10And Carly Crazy

00:36:11Would be like

00:36:11That was our

00:36:11Number one song

00:36:12Faggots should die

00:36:13And I hate them

00:36:14And we're like

00:36:17Okay

00:36:20It was wild

00:36:22But nowadays

00:36:23Bitch not today

00:36:24Bitch not today

00:36:26Who remembers

00:36:27Lara Spencer

00:36:28Anyone remember

00:36:28The news anchor

00:36:29Lara Spencer

00:36:30Okay

00:36:30She was on

00:36:31Good Morning America

00:36:32I think she was

00:36:32A Good Morning America

00:36:33Anchor

00:36:33And she was like

00:36:35They were talking

00:36:35About the royal family

00:36:36And the youngest prince

00:36:37Was taking some

00:36:38Classes

00:36:39They were like

00:36:39Let's look at his curriculum

00:36:40And they were rattling

00:36:41Them all off

00:36:42And then her co-anchor says

00:36:43And of course

00:36:44There's ballet

00:36:45And Lara Spencer

00:36:46Goes ballet

00:36:48We'll see how long

00:36:49That lasts

00:36:50That is literally

00:36:52All she said

00:36:54Avery

00:36:54Literally

00:36:55The next

00:36:56Day

00:36:58100

00:36:59Male ballet dancers

00:37:01Showed up

00:37:02To this bitch's

00:37:03Job

00:37:06Does anyone remember this?

00:37:07And they stood

00:37:09Downstairs

00:37:10And fucking

00:37:13Until she came

00:37:15Downstairs

00:37:16And fucking

00:37:17Apologize

00:37:18That is crazy

00:37:21Queers

00:37:22We have a lot of power

00:37:22It might be too much

00:37:23I'm gonna go ahead

00:37:24And say it

00:37:24I'm gonna be the first

00:37:25I'm gonna say it

00:37:29There's like new laws

00:37:30Trying to make us

00:37:31Not be queer

00:37:31Or not indoctrinate

00:37:33Your children

00:37:35There's a law

00:37:36In Texas

00:37:36Like we don't want

00:37:37Any kids

00:37:38To be allowed

00:37:39To go to drag shows

00:37:40No kidding

00:37:41That was my initial reaction

00:37:42Too but then

00:37:43I started thinking

00:37:44I was like

00:37:44I don't know

00:37:45Let's hear them out

00:37:46On this one

00:37:50Maybe

00:37:50Maybe they're onto

00:37:53Something with this one

00:37:54Honey

00:37:56Like bitch

00:37:56I don't want

00:37:57Your fucking

00:37:57If your kid

00:37:57Don't have a fucking

00:37:58Dollar bitch

00:37:59Don't come to my

00:37:59Fucking drag show

00:38:00Bitch

00:38:06What are you gonna hold up

00:38:07A Roblox

00:38:08Fucking gift card

00:38:08Nigga

00:38:09Put your little ass down

00:38:13Give me that little

00:38:14Allowance money

00:38:14Nigga

00:38:15For real

00:38:22Where are the gay guys at

00:38:23If you're a gay guy

00:38:24If you identify as a gay guy

00:38:25Make someone honest

00:38:26Okay don't be so proud

00:38:29We are the worst

00:38:31Fucking letter

00:38:33In the alphabet soup

00:38:34And you know it

00:38:36Worrible

00:38:37Worrible

00:38:37Oh the worst

00:38:38Y'all gay

00:38:38I was just assuming

00:38:40Because of the

00:38:40Whole thing

00:38:43What's your name

00:38:45Marcus

00:38:51Marcus

00:38:52Marcus

00:38:53Marcus

00:38:54I need to talk to you

00:38:55You are gonna be

00:38:57The communicator

00:38:58I need to send out

00:38:59A message to every

00:39:00Single gay guy

00:39:03In Madison

00:39:03Wisconsin

00:39:04And I need you to

00:39:05When I leave here

00:39:06You gotta be

00:39:06You gotta go to the

00:39:07Group thread

00:39:07And text everybody

00:39:08Okay

00:39:09So I'm assuming

00:39:10You've already

00:39:11Fucked half the guys

00:39:12Here anyway

00:39:13I mean I have

00:39:14And I've been here

00:39:14For two days

00:39:17So I'm assuming

00:39:18You're really

00:39:19I got some rules

00:39:20I need to spread around

00:39:20This is really

00:39:21Fucking important

00:39:22Because gay guys

00:39:22We gotta be better

00:39:24We gotta be better

00:39:25Going into 2023

00:39:26We just have to

00:39:27You know what I mean

00:39:27Rule number one

00:39:28This is a very

00:39:29Important rule to me

00:39:30Rule number one

00:39:32Marcus

00:39:32Stop

00:39:34Stop

00:39:35Being mean

00:39:36To lesbians

00:39:39You have to stop

00:39:41Being mean

00:39:41First of all

00:39:43Marcus

00:39:43We need these

00:39:45Bitches

00:39:45Okay

00:39:47Because gay guys

00:39:48We cannot

00:39:49Do this

00:39:50By ourselves

00:39:51Oh my god

00:39:52Gay guys

00:39:52We don't have

00:39:53Plans

00:39:54We can't do

00:39:54Anything by ourselves

00:39:56Never go on a vacation

00:39:57With a bunch of gay guys

00:39:58It's sad

00:40:01You're like

00:40:02Marcus

00:40:02What's the plan

00:40:03For vacation

00:40:04Marcus

00:40:04I don't know girl

00:40:05I bought some molly

00:40:05And um

00:40:07I think there's a drag show

00:40:08On Thursday

00:40:09And uh

00:40:09The rest will just be

00:40:11Trying to fuck

00:40:11The whole time

00:40:12That's the whole

00:40:13Rest of the plan

00:40:15You ever gone on vacation

00:40:16With some lesbians

00:40:18Oh these bitches

00:40:19Don't fuck around

00:40:21You're like

00:40:21Samantha

00:40:22What's the plan

00:40:22Everybody

00:40:23In the lobby

00:40:247 o'clock

00:40:25In the car

00:40:257.15

00:40:26Light conversation

00:40:28Until 7.30

00:40:29Do not be late

00:40:30Or we will leave you

00:40:31We will leave you

00:40:36The only reason brunch exists

00:40:38Is because the gay guy

00:40:39Couldn't make it to breakfast

00:40:40On time

00:40:40Okay

00:40:43Because a girl

00:40:44Call it brunch

00:40:45It'll be fierce

00:40:45They'll gag

00:40:46They'll gag

00:40:48Not waking up early

00:40:52You stop that

00:40:54Marcus

00:40:56I have more demands

00:40:58As I keep telling you

00:40:59My demands

00:40:59They're

00:41:00They're gonna become

00:41:01Harder and harder

00:41:01You're gonna wanna

00:41:02Buck back against me

00:41:03And I

00:41:03And I get that

00:41:04I expect that

00:41:04You know

00:41:05That makes sense

00:41:06Okay

00:41:07Rule number two

00:41:09Stop

00:41:11Being mean

00:41:12To straight girls

00:41:15He was like

00:41:16I don't know

00:41:16I wanna bully

00:41:17These bitches

00:41:19Let me bully

00:41:20These bitches

00:41:21I get it

00:41:22Trust me

00:41:23I get it

00:41:23Because hanging out

00:41:24With your straight

00:41:24Girlfriends

00:41:25Your gay guy

00:41:25Friends

00:41:25Is not

00:41:26The same thing

00:41:27It is completely

00:41:28Different

00:41:28It's a whole

00:41:29Different experience

00:41:30You ever try to

00:41:30Leave the club

00:41:31Without telling

00:41:32Your straight girlfriend

00:41:33Oh you're

00:41:33Fucking done

00:41:36You're done

00:41:37Text me

00:41:38When you get home

00:41:38Text me

00:41:39When you get home

00:41:40Text me

00:41:41When you get home

00:41:44Bitch with the gay guys

00:41:45You could leave

00:41:45In the middle

00:41:46Of a fucking sentence

00:41:48Okay

00:41:48They don't give a fuck

00:41:51Like girl

00:41:51This club is great

00:41:52But it's

00:41:56Getting dick

00:42:01It's a whole

00:42:01Different experience

00:42:02Because there's also

00:42:03A really unique bond

00:42:05Between like

00:42:06Gay guys

00:42:07And straight girls

00:42:08Because the gay guys

00:42:08Are mean to straight girls

00:42:09But you graduated

00:42:10High school

00:42:11And you act like

00:42:12You forgot the first

00:42:12Fucking ally

00:42:13You ever had

00:42:14In your whole life

00:42:16Like this girl

00:42:17Got the whole

00:42:17Football team

00:42:18To leave you alone

00:42:19For a whole semester

00:42:20That's worth something

00:42:22I mean she did

00:42:23Suck all of their

00:42:24Dicks for her

00:42:25But that's worth

00:42:25Something

00:42:29Are y'all a couple

00:42:30Yeah yeah yeah

00:42:31You have a lot

00:42:32Of gay friends

00:42:33You look like

00:42:33You have a lot

00:42:34Of gay friends

00:42:34And that is a

00:42:35Compliment by the way

00:42:36You never want

00:42:37To be told

00:42:38You look like

00:42:38You don't have

00:42:39Any gay friends

00:42:40Baby

00:42:41That is a read

00:42:42Do you even

00:42:44Know gay people

00:42:47How long

00:42:48Y'all been together

00:42:48What's your name

00:42:49By the way

00:42:50Amira

00:42:50And

00:42:52Neil

00:42:52How long

00:42:52Y'all been together

00:42:53Neil

00:42:54Three years

00:42:55That's nice

00:42:57Now the thing

00:42:57About it is

00:42:58Y'all can be together

00:42:59For three years

00:43:00Three weeks

00:43:01Thirty years

00:43:02You and Amira

00:43:03Will never be

00:43:04As close

00:43:05As we are

00:43:06And it's not

00:43:07It's just the

00:43:08Connection that we

00:43:08Have

00:43:08Because we've

00:43:09Been there

00:43:09For each other

00:43:10Forever

00:43:11You remember

00:43:11You took me

00:43:12To prom

00:43:12Thank you

00:43:13I appreciated

00:43:13That

00:43:15Thank you

00:43:16Got my grandma

00:43:16To stop asking

00:43:17Questions for like

00:43:17Three weeks

00:43:18Thank you

00:43:19And you remember

00:43:20In the early 2000s

00:43:21I told you

00:43:22I said

00:43:22Amira bangs

00:43:23Aren't for everyone

00:43:23You remember

00:43:24I said that

00:43:25Yeah

00:43:25Now a few people

00:43:27Here

00:43:27A few folks here

00:43:28Need to hear

00:43:28That message again

00:43:29And I'm not

00:43:30Looking at anyone

00:43:31But if the shoe fits

00:43:33Bitch

00:43:33You know what I mean

00:43:35But Neil

00:43:36The thing is like

00:43:37You benefit

00:43:38From this

00:43:39And we benefit

00:43:40From this

00:43:40Everyone benefits

00:43:41It's a symbiotic

00:43:42Relationship

00:43:43For example

00:43:44If you have a girlfriend

00:43:45Who loves gay guys

00:43:46Goes to drag shows

00:43:47I promise you

00:43:48Without a shadow

00:43:50Of a doubt

00:43:50I have seen

00:43:52A picture of your dick

00:43:53I promise you

00:43:54Neil

00:43:55Oh

00:43:55I promise

00:43:57I promise

00:43:58Neil

00:43:58Me and all my friends

00:43:59We are divinely

00:44:00Intimate

00:44:01With your fucking

00:44:02Twigs and berries

00:44:03We know everything

00:44:04Because gay men

00:44:04Are pigs

00:44:05We are nasty

00:44:06We are disgusting

00:44:07We trade dick pigs

00:44:09Like fucking

00:44:09Pokemon cards

00:44:10Okay

00:44:11I will send you

00:44:12Neil

00:44:12If you send me

00:44:13Marcus bitch

00:44:14I choose you

00:44:19You ever try to

00:44:20Look at your fucking

00:44:21Like your

00:44:22Like your straight

00:44:22Girlfriend's like

00:44:23How was your vacation

00:44:24She's like

00:44:24Oh yeah

00:44:24Look through my phone

00:44:25Swipe left

00:44:26Swipe right

00:44:27I have nothing to hide

00:44:29Go through my phone

00:44:31He's like

00:44:31Oh my god

00:44:33You ever try to

00:44:34Look at a picture

00:44:35On a gay guy's phone

00:44:36They're like

00:44:37I'll hold the phone

00:44:37I'll hold it

00:44:45Now

00:44:46Okay

00:44:47They're like

00:44:48Marcus

00:44:48How was the vacation

00:44:49Okay

00:44:49This is a picture

00:44:50This is when we

00:44:51Landed in Key West

00:44:53Right

00:44:54And um

00:44:55This is how gay guys

00:44:56Check text

00:45:04And this is when we

00:45:06Left Key West

00:45:12And also Neil

00:45:13If you ever

00:45:14Gotten that fucking

00:45:15Sloppy toppy

00:45:16Glock Glock 3000

00:45:18You're welcome

00:45:21I don't know

00:45:22Who you think

00:45:23Taught her that

00:45:23But that was me

00:45:30A blowjob

00:45:31Job

00:45:32Bitch

00:45:32It doesn't feel

00:45:33Like work to me

00:45:34Okay

00:45:34Let me tell you right now

00:45:37First of all

00:45:38If you are sucking dick

00:45:39And it looks anything

00:45:40Like you've ever seen

00:45:41In like a porno

00:45:43You're

00:45:43It's wrong

00:45:44Just start over

00:45:45Okay

00:45:45If it's like

00:45:51No

00:45:52Sucking dick

00:45:53Is not like

00:45:54Eating ice cream

00:45:55Okay

00:45:56Bitch

00:45:56Sucking dick

00:45:57Is like eating

00:45:58Buffalo wings

00:45:59Okay

00:46:02Because your eyes

00:46:03Should be watering

00:46:05Your nose

00:46:07Should be running

00:46:09You should be

00:46:10Coughing

00:46:18If you've never

00:46:19Sucked a dick

00:46:20So hard

00:46:21You woke up

00:46:21The next morning

00:46:22And said

00:46:22Bitch

00:46:22Do I have

00:46:23Omicron

00:46:25Then you have

00:46:26Never sucked a dick

00:46:28I'm sorry

00:46:29To tell you

00:46:32That's just

00:46:32The dick sucking

00:46:33Rules honey

00:46:40Marcus

00:46:43I'm not done

00:46:45Are you

00:46:46Is this written

00:46:47In your notes app

00:46:48You can remember

00:46:49All this

00:46:49Okay

00:46:49I'll send you

00:46:50An email

00:46:51After the show

00:46:54This is an important one

00:46:55Okay

00:46:55This is

00:46:56This is gonna be

00:46:57The one I get

00:46:57The most pushback on

00:46:58And I expect it

00:46:59Okay

00:46:59Gay guys

00:47:00Stop

00:47:03Acting

00:47:03Like pussy

00:47:04Is gross

00:47:05Grow up

00:47:06Grow

00:47:07You have to

00:47:08Grow up

00:47:10Like

00:47:10Ew

00:47:11This is nasty

00:47:12Nigga

00:47:12Shut the fuck up

00:47:13You sound dumb

00:47:13As hell

00:47:14And gay guys

00:47:15You know

00:47:15Gay guys

00:47:16Have rankings

00:47:16Based on how

00:47:17Little pussy

00:47:18They've touched

00:47:19This is the thing

00:47:19I'm a gold star

00:47:21Gay

00:47:21Honey

00:47:22I've never

00:47:23Touched a vagina

00:47:23Gold star

00:47:25Gay

00:47:25I was born

00:47:26By c-section

00:47:27Honey

00:47:27Platinum

00:47:28Gay

00:47:28Honey

00:47:30That's a

00:47:31That's a real

00:47:31Thing

00:47:32You heard

00:47:32That's a real

00:47:33Thing

00:47:33I'm a platinum

00:47:34Gay

00:47:34Honey

00:47:35My mama

00:47:35Had a c-section

00:47:36Honey

00:47:37Marcus

00:47:38Do you know

00:47:38What a fucking

00:47:38C-section is

00:47:39It's not going

00:47:40To Dr. Pimple Popper

00:47:41Okay

00:47:42It is a very

00:47:43Intense procedure

00:47:44So basically

00:47:48Your mom goes

00:47:49To the doctor

00:47:50They grab a

00:47:51Fucking weapon

00:47:52And just

00:47:53Hip to hip

00:47:55Slice this

00:47:56Bitch up

00:47:56Like this

00:47:56Right

00:47:57They're not done

00:47:58That's not it

00:47:59Now there's like

00:48:00A thin little

00:48:00Layer of like

00:48:01Fat

00:48:01Like a yellowy

00:48:02Little fat

00:48:02Layer

00:48:03They have to

00:48:03Cut that

00:48:03Too

00:48:04Cut that

00:48:05Up too

00:48:06They're not

00:48:06Done

00:48:07There's like

00:48:07A white

00:48:08Tuffy

00:48:08Like tough

00:48:09Little

00:48:09Like Kevlar

00:48:10Layer

00:48:10They have to

00:48:11Cut that

00:48:12Shit open

00:48:13This happens

00:48:13And a lot

00:48:14Of times

00:48:14They're awake

00:48:15The whole time

00:48:16Just fucking

00:48:17Reading a book

00:48:18Or some shit

00:48:18Just cut that

00:48:19Shit open too

00:48:20And then they

00:48:21Get to the

00:48:21Muscles

00:48:22They don't even

00:48:22Cut the muscles

00:48:23They just

00:48:24Literally

00:48:24Pull them apart

00:48:25Like fucking

00:48:26Beef jerky

00:48:27Or pulled pork

00:48:27Just rip it

00:48:28Apart

00:48:29But also

00:48:29Not only

00:48:29Then they

00:48:30Fucking get

00:48:30In there

00:48:31And then

00:48:31They get

00:48:31To the

00:48:32Fucking

00:48:33The

00:48:33You're in

00:48:34The whole

00:48:35Uterus

00:48:35Right

00:48:35They see that

00:48:36But they

00:48:37Can't do it

00:48:37Because first

00:48:38Your fucking

00:48:39Bladder's in the way

00:48:40They have to

00:48:40Clamp your

00:48:41Fucking bladder

00:48:42To your

00:48:43Pussy

00:48:43Do you hear

00:48:44What I'm

00:48:44Saying

00:48:45Clamp it

00:48:46So it's

00:48:47Out of the way

00:48:47They cut

00:48:47That shit

00:48:48Open

00:48:48And then

00:48:49They get

00:48:49The little

00:48:50Fucking

00:48:50Placenta

00:48:50Set

00:48:50They cut

00:48:51That open

00:48:51And grab

00:48:51Your little

00:48:52Fucking

00:48:52Faggoty

00:48:52Ass

00:48:59Throw you

00:48:59In a pan

00:49:00And then

00:49:00Fucking

00:49:01Couple of

00:49:02Decades

00:49:02And you're

00:49:02Like

00:49:02I never

00:49:03Touched

00:49:03That pussy

00:49:05It's hilarious

00:49:08Call your

00:49:09Mom and see

00:49:09How she's

00:49:10Fucking

00:49:10Doing

00:49:19And I

00:49:20Think the

00:49:20Reason why

00:49:21Gay men are

00:49:21Mean to girls

00:49:22Is this

00:49:22And you

00:49:22Gotta listen

00:49:23Real carefully

00:49:23To this

00:49:23Because it

00:49:24Can get

00:49:24Misconstrued

00:49:25Easily

00:49:25You gotta

00:49:25Listen up

00:49:26Listen up

00:49:27Okay

00:49:27The reason

00:49:28Why gay

00:49:29Guys are

00:49:30So mean

00:49:30To girls

00:49:31Is because

00:49:32Masculinity

00:49:33Is inherently

00:49:34Intimidated

00:49:34By femininity

00:49:35In all

00:49:35Of its

00:49:36Forms

00:49:36Okay

00:49:36Now if

00:49:37You weren't

00:49:38Listening

00:49:38You might

00:49:38Have heard

00:49:38Men are

00:49:39Timber

00:49:39Everyone

00:49:39That's not

00:49:39What I

00:49:40Said

00:49:41Masculinity

00:49:41Is inherently

00:49:42Intimidated

00:49:43By femininity

00:49:43In all

00:49:44Forms

00:49:44And the

00:49:45More obscure

00:49:45And rare

00:49:46The femininity

00:49:47It gets

00:49:47Scarier

00:49:48And scarier

00:49:48Like a

00:49:49Like a

00:49:49Karen

00:49:50Like a

00:49:50White

00:49:50Karen

00:49:50Walks in

00:49:51Like oh

00:49:51Shit

00:49:51Everyone get

00:49:52Their shit

00:49:52Together

00:49:53There's a

00:49:54Karen

00:49:55You get like

00:49:55A lesbian

00:49:56A vegan

00:49:57Lesbian

00:50:00I've seen

00:50:01Times where

00:50:01A black

00:50:02Trans woman

00:50:02Walks

00:50:03Into the

00:50:03Room

00:50:04It will

00:50:04Change the

00:50:04PH balance

00:50:05Of the

00:50:05Whole

00:50:06Fucking

00:50:06Room

00:50:06Okay

00:50:08It has

00:50:09Always been

00:50:09This way

00:50:09Masculinity

00:50:10Is terrified

00:50:11By femininity

00:50:12Look stuff

00:50:13Like the

00:50:13Fucking

00:50:13The Salem

00:50:14Witch

00:50:14Trials

00:50:15Right

00:50:15You remember

00:50:15The Salem

00:50:15Witch

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00:50:16There

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00:50:17Mean you

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00:50:18Hey

00:50:18That's not

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00:50:19Meant

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00:50:20Meant

00:50:24Salem

00:50:25Witch

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00:50:27Bunch

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00:51:22Get

00:51:22This

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00:51:24This

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00:51:25Tie

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00:51:26Witch

00:51:27Bitch

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00:51:28Now

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00:52:10Powerful

00:52:10Witch

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00:52:13Jebediah

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00:52:41A

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00:54:12$60,000

00:54:12Bitch

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00:54:13Was

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00:54:14A

00:54:14Motherfucking

00:54:16Investor

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00:54:18This

00:54:18Pothole

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00:54:25Middle

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00:54:25Read

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00:54:50A

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00:55:30Little

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01:04:43Just kidding

01:04:45So

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01:04:53Put

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01:04:57That

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01:04:58Felt

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01:04:58Bullying

01:05:02There's

01:05:03The

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01:05:04All

01:05:04Night

01:05:05God

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01:05:06Another

01:05:07One

01:05:10Jesus

01:05:10Christ

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01:05:12Six

01:05:14Shoot

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01:05:15The

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01:05:23Minutes

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01:05:25This

01:05:25Noise

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01:05:32This

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01:05:34Morton

01:05:34Flanagan

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01:06:07I

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01:06:19Queen

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01:06:20Not

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01:06:22Human

01:06:22Anatomy

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01:06:23About

01:06:23When

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01:06:28The

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01:06:35Walking

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01:06:38Dresses

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01:06:39Be

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01:06:40Gay

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01:07:03Plan

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01:07:06And

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01:07:23Works

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01:07:28Bit

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01:07:33His

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01:07:59My

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01:08:01Georgia

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01:10:17Blonde

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01:10:59Royale

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01:11:06Clark

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01:11:12This

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01:11:15Said

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01:11:18Girl

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01:11:19Peeed

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01:11:20I

01:11:20Point

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01:11:32Alaska

01:11:32Is

01:11:32Like

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01:11:38Ginger

01:11:39Minge

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01:11:41Now

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01:11:42Minge

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01:11:43Like

01:11:43If

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01:11:44DeVito

01:11:45Did

01:11:45Drag

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01:11:49Of

01:11:49Talk

01:11:49Like

01:11:49Honey

01:11:50Boo

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01:11:52Spot

01:11:52On

01:11:54So

01:11:54She's

01:11:55The

01:11:55Host

01:11:55She's

01:11:55Like

01:11:55All right

01:11:55Girl

01:11:56Come

01:11:56Sit

01:11:56Down

01:11:56Girl

01:11:57Come

01:11:57Sit

01:11:57Down

01:11:57Good

01:11:57Job

01:11:58Girl

01:11:58Get

01:11:58It

01:11:58From

01:11:58Bob

01:11:58Drag

01:11:59Queen

01:11:59Y'all

01:11:59And

01:12:00I'm

01:12:00Like

01:12:00No

01:12:01No

01:12:01I'll

01:12:01Just

01:12:01Stay

01:12:01Here

01:12:02Because

01:12:02The

01:12:02Show's

01:12:03Over

01:12:03Everyone

01:12:03Can

01:12:03Come

01:12:04Up

01:12:04And

01:12:04Bow

01:12:04And

01:12:05Then

01:12:05The

01:12:06Curtain

01:12:06Will

01:12:06Close

01:12:06And

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01:12:07Least

01:12:07Only

01:12:08My

01:12:08Sisters

01:12:08Will

01:12:09Know

01:12:09That

01:12:10I

01:12:10Peeed

01:12:10Myself

01:12:11Right

01:12:11And

01:12:12This

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01:12:12All

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01:12:12Lightning

01:12:13Fast

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01:12:13Like

01:12:13Woo

01:12:14Oh

01:12:14My

01:12:15God

01:12:15Yeah

01:12:15You're

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01:12:19Latrice

01:12:20Is

01:12:20Like

01:12:21And

01:12:21Ginger

01:12:22Mitch

01:12:22Is

01:12:22Like

01:12:22Bling

01:12:22Ding

01:12:23Ding

01:12:24Ding

01:12:25Ding

01:12:28And

01:12:28I

01:12:29Am

01:12:29Panicking

01:12:30I

01:12:30Am

01:12:30Fully

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01:12:31The piss

01:12:32Is

01:12:32Leaking

01:12:32Out

01:12:32Of

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01:12:32Back

01:12:32Of

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01:12:33Dress

01:12:33I

01:12:34Look

01:12:34Into

01:12:34The

01:12:34Audience

01:12:35In

01:12:41Dorn Addicted

01:12:42Cousin

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01:12:44He

01:12:44Had

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01:12:44iPad

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01:12:45Missed

01:12:45The

01:12:45Whole

01:12:45Show

01:12:46And

01:12:47I

01:12:47Swear

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01:12:51The

01:12:51Middle

01:12:51Of

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01:12:52Room

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01:12:53Sitting

01:12:54I

01:12:54Lock

01:12:55Eyes

01:12:55With

01:12:56Martha

01:12:57Caldwell

01:13:00And

01:13:00She

01:13:00Stands

01:13:01Up

01:13:01Slowly

01:13:01And

01:13:02Goes

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01:13:03Told

01:13:04You

01:13:04Not

01:13:04To

01:13:05Embarrass

01:13:06Yourself

01:13:06In

01:13:07Front

01:13:07Of

01:13:07These

01:13:12All

01:13:12Right

01:13:13Madison

01:13:13Thank

01:13:13You

01:13:14So

01:13:14Much

01:13:14You

01:13:14Been

01:13:14Amazing

01:13:15Thank

01:13:15You

01:13:15Thank

01:13:15You

01:13:16You

01:13:17You

01:13:17Amazing

01:13:17Thank

01:13:18You

01:13:19Tip

01:13:20Your

01:13:20Servers

Bob The Drag Queen - Woke Man in a Dress (2023) [Full Movie]

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