- 20 hours ago
Trapped by the Hunter EnglishSub FullMovie
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00:00Among we poor, wife-sharing was common.
00:04My husband sold me to the local trapper Rowan for $300.
00:09Rowan was considerate and promised not to touch me for seven days.
00:13I turned down his offer directly.
00:16It's a two-minute business for my husband.
00:19No point dragging it out, just close eyes.
00:23That night, the old wooden bed creaked for hours.
00:28Later, I understood that men were not all the same.
00:32So wife-lending was nothing new in places like this.
00:36Poor men sent their wives out to other households to cook, clean, and bear children.
00:42The cheaper arrangements ran less than $50 a year.
00:47If a son was born, there was an extra fee on top.
00:51Men who couldn't afford to court a wife of their own would scrape together whatever they had
00:55and contract one for two or three years, long enough to get a child.
00:59A contracted wife was not there for comfort.
01:03Days were for labor.
01:05Destroyed by a knight.
01:07My best friend Clara had been contracted out by her husband.
01:10She ended up serving four men in that household, his father and his younger brother included.
01:16When I heard, I cried for knights.
01:18I never imagined I'd end up the same.
01:21A light flared in the darkness.
01:23A tall figure stepped out of the yard, carrying a light.
01:26It's Rowan.
01:28Lily?
01:29He must come to make sure I wouldn't run.
01:31I walked to his side, a bitter smile tugging at my mouth.
01:35Run?
01:35He thought too highly of me.
01:39Half hour ago.
01:41My husband Edmund had gone down on his knees, fingers wrapped around my sleeve, face wet with tears.
01:48Lily, this is my last chance.
01:49I need that money for my test.
01:51Just one year, that's all I'm asking.
01:53When it's over, I'll come get you myself, okay?
01:56This was Edmund's fifth failed attempt at the qualifying exams.
01:59His family had nothing left.
02:01After talking it over with his parents, they decided to contract me out.
02:05Rowan had offered the most.
02:07Come inside, it's cold out.
02:09Watch the step, the threshold's higher than it looks.
02:12A hand touched my wrist, steadied me, then let go.
02:15Warmth faded fast.
02:16I pulled my thoughts back and looked up at him carefully.
02:19Rowan was an outlier here.
02:22His family had trapped and hunted these hills for generations.
02:26He lived alone at the foot of the ridge and kept to himself.
02:29They said he'd trained as a fighter.
02:31That he could kill a wolf barehanded.
02:34That he had a temper.
02:36A thug named Tom had once crept onto his property to steal
02:39and ended up strung to a tree and beaten through the night.
02:43After that, every ruff in the settlement gave Rowan a wide beret.
02:47Tom was the biggest man in the area.
02:50If Rowan had handled Tom that easily, then I...
02:53I swallowed and stole a glance at his broad back.
02:55Then I stopped.
02:57White.
02:58Bright, vivid white in the room.
03:02Rowan had shrugged off his coat.
03:05Under the thin material, the lines of solid muscle shifted with every movement.
03:10In the corner stood a clay vase nearly as tall as my waist.
03:14It was full of winter-fluming branches.
03:17Blossoms open wide, filling the room with a heavy sweetness.
03:21Edna's room on our wedding night hadn't looked half this fine.
03:25Was Rowan getting married?
03:27Then why had he paid $300 to contract me?
03:30Was I here to serve as a maid to his new bride?
03:36You don't like it?
03:38I was told women like flowers.
03:40I stared at him, too surprised to speak.
03:42This was all for me?
03:44But I was just contracted labor.
03:46This wasn't a wedding?
03:48Something shifted in Rowan's expression.
03:50His jaw tightened.
03:52If you don't like it, I'll get rid of it.
03:55He turned to go.
03:56I caught his arm.
03:58Don't!
04:00It's beautiful.
04:02I love it.
04:03That branch alone must have come from an entire flowering tree.
04:08The blossoms only group in the hills, a long climb behind the settlement.
04:13Hauling it all the way back without breaking a single step that would have taken real effort.
04:19And besides, the contract had been signed at the village elder's office.
04:24Both parties were bound.
04:25I was going to share a roof with this man for a year, whether I liked it or not.
04:30I couldn't afford to make an enemy of him.
04:36One punch from Rowan and I'd be lucky to keep all my teeth.
04:44You really mean it?
04:46I looked at him properly for the first time.
04:48He was striking.
04:49Clean, sharp features.
04:51The kind of roughness that came from years outdoors and not from hardship.
04:56A strange feeling moved through me.
04:59Maybe.
05:01Possibly.
05:01It was just possible that Rowan actually liked me.
05:07He walked to the table with both his hands and feet doing slightly different things,
05:12picked up two small cups, and carried them back to me the same way.
05:17Drink.
05:19And then settle in.
05:20Make yourself at home here.
05:22Was this a wedding cup?
05:23I had no idea why he'd arranged everything like a proper ceremony.
05:27But I took the cup and dipped my head.
05:30All right.
05:34It wasn't the first time I'd drunk one.
05:36When Edmund married me, he'd been giddy as a boy finding treasure.
05:39He'd held me all through our wedding night and talked until morning.
05:43Telling me he'd admired me for years.
05:45Telling me I was the prettiest girl in ten miles.
05:49Marrying me was the best thing that would ever happen to him.
05:54A year later, I was a chore he'd forgotten to do.
06:00His mother complained I wasn't pregnant.
06:04Edmund himself lamented that I couldn't read.
06:07And there was no point discussing books or ambitions with me.
06:13A real wife could be discarded that easily.
06:17A contracted one for a year had no chance at all.
06:20I lifted the cup and swallowed it in one go.
06:26That burned.
06:27It went down my throat like a lit match and landed in my stomach like a small fire.
06:32My eyes watered immediately.
06:38Hey, are you okay?
06:39That's my fault.
06:40I should never have bought the rough stuff.
06:42Here, here, water.
06:43Drink this.
06:43The man in front of me split into two and merged back together.
06:48I shook my head and tried to focus.
06:50Rowan was fussing over me the way someone handles a child who's hurt themselves,
06:55carefully tilting a bowl of water to my lips.
06:58I sipped.
06:59It was slightly sweet.
07:01Better?
07:02A little better?
07:03His hand moved in slow circles across my back.
07:07Steady and warm even through several layers of cloth.
07:11A tall, handsome man talking to me in a low, gentle voice.
07:16My head swam harder.
07:18I was drunk, I thought.
07:21Definitely drunk.
07:22I reached out, grabbed Rowan's arm, and started pulling him toward the bed.
07:27Come on.
07:28Let's get this done.
07:30Rowan didn't move.
07:32He caught my hands with a look of something like panic.
07:35Face bright red.
07:37Stumbling over his words.
07:39That won't be necessary.
07:41You've just arrived.
07:44Everything must feel strange.
07:47We can take our time.
07:49Get to know each other first.
07:50And when you feel more comfortable, we can...
07:53I let go and gave him a flat smile.
07:57It takes two minutes to drink a glass of water.
08:00You're suggesting we drag this out for two weeks?
08:04Before I married, my sister-in-law had sat me down
08:07and explained what happened between a man and a woman.
08:10My wedding night with Edmund, I'd been nervous.
08:14Then it happened.
08:15And I realized it bore no resemblance to what I'd imagined.
08:19It was fast.
08:21Clothes off.
08:23A brief fumbling.
08:24Two or three movements.
08:26And it was finished.
08:28Quicker than drinking a glass of water.
08:31Rowan looked like something had broken in his face.
08:34He stared at me like he'd misheard.
08:37My head was spinning worse.
08:39And my patience was gone.
08:42Stop standing there.
08:44Come on.
08:45We shared everything.
08:46Even the last of our food.
08:49When Clara was first contracted out,
08:51her face was bruised daily.
08:53Two months in, she was pregnant.
08:55After that, things improved.
08:57They stopped hitting her.
08:59She put on a little weight.
09:01Rowan's throat moved.
09:02His eyes held something like banked fire.
09:07Both hands were clenched at his sides,
09:10the tendrons standing out,
09:11a visible effort at restraint.
09:16Are you sure you want tonight?
09:18If you mean it, then I...
09:21I didn't answer.
09:23I walked to the bed
09:24and started taking off my clothes.
09:29The quilt had clearly been aired recently.
09:32Up close, it smelled like warm sunlight.
09:35It was going to be wonderful,
09:37comfortable to sleep under.
09:38Better than the lumpy, matted thing
09:40Edmund kept on their bed.
09:43I was exhausted.
09:45I just wanted this finish so I could sleep.
09:50Lily.
09:51Rowan's breath was hot against the back of my neck.
09:54I looked down at my own waist
09:56and found two large, steady hands wrapped around it.
10:05A night with no sleep.
10:07The old wooden bed creaked and groaned through every hour,
10:11rattling the wall against its frame.
10:12My knuckles had gone white on the sheets.
10:15My fingers ached at the joints.
10:18My breathing came ragged and uneven.
10:21And my throat felt raw, even trying to draw air.
10:25Rowan's palms burned.
10:27His grip pinned me.
10:29Without effort.
10:31His presence wrapped around me from every direction.
10:38My eyelids were heavy as stone,
10:41but there was no space to close them.
10:44Every bone in my body felt taken apart and re-estembled wrong.
10:49The dark at the window faded slowly.
10:52Gray light crept up in the east.
10:55I stared at the patch on the canopy above
10:57and understood,
10:58distly,
10:59that it was morning.
11:01Rowan had gone all night.
11:03This was supposed to be a two-minute thing.
11:06How had it gone all night?
11:08The last thought I had before I lost consciousness.
11:11Men were not all the same.
11:14The difference was enormous.
11:19I was woken by sunlight.
11:21I half opened my eyes,
11:23looked at the brightness pouring through the window,
11:26and scrambled upright in a panic.
11:30My legs buckled,
11:31and I sat back down on the bed.
11:34I thought about the night before,
11:36and couldn't help a short,
11:38disgusted sound.
11:43Rowan.
11:44He had the face of a simple,
11:46straightforward man.
11:48The reality
11:49was apparently far more complicated.
11:52Where had he learned any of that?
11:58I wanted to pull the quilt over my head
12:00and stay there.
12:03The door opened,
12:05and a shadow filled most of the frame.
12:07I had overslept badly.
12:08You're up.
12:09By the position of the sun,
12:10it was well past mid-morning,
12:11nearly noon.
12:12I had never heard of a contracted wife
12:14sleeping this late.
12:21I'm sorry.
12:22I didn't mean to.
12:22Last night just wore me out.
12:24Please don't be angry.
12:25I'll start the cooking right now.
12:27Rowan looked at me for a long moment
12:28with an expression I couldn't name.
12:30Then he sighed.
12:31Eat first.
12:32I noticed then
12:33that he was carrying a wooden tray
12:34loaded with four or five dishes.
12:36Scrambled eggs with chives,
12:38rich and yellow.
12:39Half a stewed chicken,
12:40tender and dark golden.
12:42Salt pork with cabbage.
12:43A plate of pickled cucumbers,
12:45pale green and bright.
12:46And in front of my place,
12:47a bowl of hot rice,
12:48piled high enough to overflow.
12:50My God.
12:51A landlord's table
12:52didn't look like this.
12:53I hadn't eaten in two days.
12:55My mouth was already watering
12:57and my stomach had started to plane.
13:01I grew up the oldest of five girls
13:03before my parents finally had a son.
13:05In a house like that,
13:07daughters ate last and least.
13:09I had gone a full year
13:10without tasting an egg.
13:12After I married Edmund,
13:13I found that his family's prosperity
13:14was mostly appearance.
13:15His parents ringed out
13:17every coin they had
13:17to keep him in school.
13:18Edmund got an egg
13:20for breakfast each morning
13:21to help him study
13:21and ate meat twice a month.
13:23I got stale cornbread
13:24and pickled scraps.
13:26Right.
13:27Food like this
13:28couldn't possibly be for me.
13:31The moment I reached for it,
13:33Rowan would call me
13:34a greedy,
13:35shameless woman
13:36and use it as an excuse
13:38to hit me.
13:42Lily.
13:43Rowan's voice sharpened.
13:45Here it was.
13:46Every muscle in my body
13:47locked up at once.
13:49Was he going to hit me?
13:51Good.
13:52At least get it over with.
13:53The waiting was worse
13:54than anything else.
13:55I paid to contract you.
13:57That means you do what I say.
13:59Doesn't it?
14:01I straightened,
14:02trembling,
14:03and nodded hard.
14:04Something flickered
14:05in his expression.
14:06Pained,
14:07but his face stayed firm.
14:08Then I'm ordering you
14:09to eat every single thing
14:10on that table.
14:11Every bite.
14:12I have some business
14:13to take care of.
14:14When you're done,
14:15tidy up the house
14:15and wait for me.
14:17He turned
14:18and took two steps
14:19toward the door,
14:19then came back
14:20and lightly tapped
14:21the top of my head.
14:22If you honestly
14:23can't finish it,
14:24leave it.
14:24Don't make yourself sick.
14:27Then he was gone.
14:28I stood in the middle
14:29of the room
14:30like I'd been planted there.
14:31The clean,
14:32sharp smell he left behind,
14:33wood smoke
14:34and soap
14:34and open air,
14:36faded slowly.
14:37The smell of the chicken soup
14:38kept moving
14:38into the space it left.
14:40I looked at the chicken leg.
14:41I had never eaten one
14:42in my life.
14:43Better to die full
14:44than die hungry.
14:45Even if this earned me
14:46a beating later,
14:47a meal like this
14:48was worth it.
14:51The eggs were soft
14:53and fragrant.
14:54The chicken fell apart
14:55at the touch,
14:56bones tender enough
14:57to chew.
14:59The salt pork
15:01with the cabbage
15:01was rich and savory
15:03with a faint sweetness
15:04underneath.
15:05Even the small dish
15:07of pickled cucumbers
15:08was perfectly crisp
15:09and clean.
15:11I ate with my head down,
15:13one bite at a time,
15:15not stopping.
15:18Somewhere in the middle of it,
15:21without any reason
15:22I could name,
15:24I started to cry.
15:31In my parents' house,
15:32I had worked myself raw,
15:34raised the younger ones,
15:35nursed sick grandparents,
15:37done everything asked of me,
15:38and I never once saw
15:40a piece of meat from it.
15:43In Edmund's house,
15:44I rose before light
15:46and wove cloth
15:47by moonlight,
15:48and I never once
15:49got an egg
15:49for my trouble.
15:51But here,
15:52in this house,
15:54the man who had paid money
15:55to contract me
15:56had made me
15:57a chicken leg.
15:59I set down my chopstick
16:00slowly,
16:01feeling something
16:02I couldn't explain.
16:04I had cleaned
16:05the table completely.
16:07A full stomach
16:08meant there was
16:09work to do.
16:11I picked up a rag
16:13and a broom
16:13and walked out
16:14to the yard.
16:17and stopped.
16:18There was nothing
16:20to clean.
16:21The flagstones
16:22were spotless.
16:24The chicken wee poop
16:25had been raked
16:26that morning.
16:27Even the weeds
16:28in the kitchen garden
16:29along the wall
16:30had been pulled
16:31to the roots.
16:32Rowan,
16:32this huge,
16:34rough-edged man,
16:35was apparently
16:35very particular
16:36about cleanliness.
16:41Lily?
16:43Lily, you there?
16:44A fist hit
16:45the gate hard.
16:46Twice.
16:47I was already
16:48heading over
16:49to wipe down
16:49the door for him
16:50when Edmund
16:51clipped his head in,
16:52checked that the yard
16:53was empty,
16:54and slipped inside,
16:55pulling the gate
16:56show behind him.
16:59Lily,
17:00you must have had
17:01such a hard time.
17:04He'd barely
17:05said two words
17:06before his eyes
17:06went red
17:07and his voice broke.
17:08I'm sorry.
17:08I'm so sorry.
17:09Did he hurt you?
17:10Did he...
17:10He was looking at me
17:11while he talked,
17:12looking me over.
17:13I was looking
17:14at him, too.
17:15My eyes moved
17:16from his pale,
17:17fine-featured face
17:18down to his waist.
17:19Back at Edmund's house,
17:20I had kept a patch
17:21of squash
17:22in the kitchen garden.
17:24Always strange things,
17:25squash.
17:26Came from the same soil,
17:28the same row,
17:28and some came out
17:29thin as a thumb
17:30while others grew
17:31thick as a man's arm.
17:32So men were like squash, too.
17:34You...
17:35You...
17:35He stopped.
17:37He touched you.
17:38He did, didn't he?
17:39Something in his face
17:41shifted.
17:41The guilt curdled
17:42into outrage.
17:43I looked down
17:44and found my collar
17:45open at the neck.
17:46The skin along
17:47my collarbone
17:48was marked
17:48with deep red.
17:49I thought of the night
17:50before,
17:51and heat rushed
17:52to my face.
17:53It had been exhausting,
17:54but the kind of exhausting
17:55that left a strange,
17:56warm feeling behind.
17:58Sweet and sour together
17:59with something else
18:00underneath
18:00that I didn't have
18:01a name for.
18:02My legs were still
18:03unsteady.
18:03How could you
18:04let him touch you?
18:05Why didn't you fight?
18:07Why didn't you fight him?
18:08Edmund's voice
18:09tore through me.
18:10I looked at him,
18:11flailing and stamping,
18:12and the face I'd once
18:13spent hours glad to look at
18:14became suddenly repulsive.
18:16Edmund,
18:17have you lost your mind?
18:19You knew exactly
18:20what a contracted wife
18:22was for before
18:22you signed those papers.
18:24A contracted wife
18:25serves the man
18:26of the house.
18:27You sold me to Rowan.
18:28What did you think
18:29was going to happen?
18:30I served him well.
18:32Rowan is satisfied.
18:34You should be happy.
18:36With every sentence
18:37I spoke,
18:37he took one step back.
18:40By the end,
18:40he was against the wall
18:41with nowhere left to go.
18:44His lips worked
18:45for a moment.
18:46He looked at me
18:47with the expression
18:48of a man
18:49who has been deeply wronged.
18:51Lily,
18:51why would you say that?
18:52I told you
18:53this was a necessary sacrifice
18:55for our future.
18:56Why would you
18:57degrade yourself like this?
18:58How can you do this to me
18:59after everything
19:00I've given up
19:00for my studies?
19:05I grabbed the feather duster
19:06off the hook
19:07and went at him
19:08with everything I had.
19:09Oh, very noble.
19:11Very fine.
19:13You sold your own wife
19:14to another man.
19:15Get out!
19:15Get out of my sight!
19:16I don't want to see your face!
19:19You're out of your mind!
19:21I came here
19:21out of the goodness
19:22of my heart
19:23and you attack me!
19:24The gate slammed.
19:26I leaned against it.
19:28Chest heaving.
19:29A fire burning
19:29somewhere behind my ribs.
19:31I knew it had been
19:32a mistake to drive him off.
19:33In a year,
19:34when the contract ended,
19:36I'd go back
19:36to being his wife.
19:38Back to that house.
19:39I'd made things worse
19:40for my future self.
19:42But I couldn't hold it in
19:43any longer.
19:46The fire died down slowly.
19:48I slid down against the gate
19:50and sat in the dirt.
19:52My hands were still shaking.
19:53Edmund had stood there,
19:55red-eyed and trembling,
19:57calling himself wronged,
19:58saying I had degraded myself,
20:00asking how I could do this to him.
20:02He had sold me,
20:03like a piece of furniture.
20:05And then he came here
20:06to stand in another man's yard
20:08and tell me I owed him something.
20:10I pressed the heels of my hands
20:12against my eyes.
20:13A year.
20:14I had to get through one year,
20:16then go back.
20:18Back to the cornbread
20:19and the pickled scraps.
20:21Back to his mother's complaints
20:23about my empty womb.
20:25Back to his father's resentment.
20:28Back to Edmund's sighing
20:29that I couldn't discuss
20:31literature with him.
20:32I sat there
20:33until the shaking stopped.
20:37Then I got up,
20:38went inside,
20:40and started on the mending.
20:46Rowan came home before dark.
20:49He stopped in the doorway
20:50and looked at the clean room,
20:52the sweat yard,
20:54the pot warming on the stove.
20:57Something in his face softened.
21:01You didn't have to do all this.
21:05I wanted to,
21:07and I meant it.
21:08He sat down at the table
21:10and we ate together.
21:11He told me about the hills,
21:13the trails,
21:14the animals he tracked.
21:17His voice was plain and easy.
21:20He didn't perform,
21:21didn't try to impress.
21:29After supper,
21:30he washed the bowls himself
21:31and wouldn't let me take over.
21:34That night,
21:35he was gentle with me,
21:38careful in a way
21:39I hadn't expected
21:41and wouldn't have asked for.
21:46I lay awake afterward
21:48in the dark,
21:49listening to his steady breathing
21:50beside me.
21:51I didn't understand
21:52this man at all.
21:56The days settled into a shape.
21:58Rowan went out early,
22:00sometimes before I woke.
22:02I kept the house and the yard.
22:04He came back in the evenings
22:05with game or herbs,
22:07or sometimes just his empty hands
22:09and a tired, honest face.
22:13He never raised his voice at me,
22:15never found fault
22:16with the meals or the cleaning,
22:19never made me feel
22:20like a burden he was tolerating.
22:23He asked me things,
22:25not testing questions
22:26with correct answers,
22:28real questions.
22:30What I liked,
22:31what I remembered from growing up,
22:33whether I was warm enough at night,
22:35I started answering him
22:37like I meant it.
22:38One morning I found
22:40a bundle of wildflowers
22:41left on the table.
22:43No explanation,
22:44just the flowers.
22:46I put them in a jar
22:47and said nothing.
22:49But I kept looking at them
22:51all day.
22:52The village didn't leave us
22:53alone entirely.
22:54People found reasons
22:55to pass the gate,
22:56glances over the fence,
22:58whispers when I went to the well.
23:00A contracted wife living well,
23:02that was interesting enough
23:03to watch.
23:04Some of the women
23:05were kind to me,
23:06some weren't.
23:07Clara came to see me.
23:09We sat in the yard
23:10with a pot of tea between us
23:11and she held my hands
23:12and looked at my face
23:13for a long time.
23:14You look different,
23:16she said.
23:17Different how?
23:18She thought about it,
23:20less afraid.
23:22I didn't say anything to that.
23:24She told me how things
23:25were for her now,
23:26in that household.
23:27I listened.
23:28I didn't cry this time,
23:29but my chest was tight
23:30for a long time
23:31after she left.
23:33Edmund came back,
23:34not crashing in
23:35through the gate this time.
23:36He stood outside it,
23:38in the lane,
23:38and called my name,
23:40quiet,
23:40almost careful.
23:42I opened the gate
23:43and looked at him.
23:44He had lost weight.
23:46His scholar's hands
23:47were dirty at the nails.
23:49I want to apologize.
23:52What for?
23:55For what I said
23:56last time.
24:01You should go.
24:03Lily!
24:04Edmund!
24:05He stood there
24:06a moment longer,
24:07then he turned
24:08and walked away.
24:09I closed the gate
24:11and went back
24:11to the yard.
24:13The tightness
24:14in my chest
24:14didn't come this time.
24:16Word reached me
24:17a few weeks later
24:18through one of
24:18the village women.
24:20Edmund had told
24:21people in town
24:21that I had gone
24:22eagerly to Rowan's house,
24:24that I had wanted to go,
24:26that the contract
24:27had been my idea.
24:29A scholar's rotation.
24:31That was what
24:32it came down to.
24:34He couldn't be the man
24:35who had sold his wife.
24:37So I had to be the wife
24:39who had sold herself.
24:43I was drawing water
24:44at the well
24:45when I heard two women
24:46talking on the other
24:46side of the fence.
24:47She's not even ashamed
24:48of herself.
24:49Walking around
24:50like she belongs there.
24:51They didn't know
24:51I was there.
24:52Well,
24:53some women are just
24:54built for that kind
24:54of life,
24:55aren't they?
24:56I set the bucket down.
24:57I stood very still
24:58for a moment,
24:59then I picked up
24:59the bucket
25:00and went home.
25:02Rowan wasn't back yet.
25:03The house was quiet
25:05in the way
25:05a house is quiet
25:06when it belongs
25:08only to itself.
25:11I thought about
25:12what Edmund
25:12had told people.
25:14I thought about
25:15my parents' voices
25:16saying they had
25:17no such daughter.
25:19I thought about
25:20how it felt
25:21to be sold
25:22and then blamed
25:22for being sold.
25:24I sat down
25:25on the step
25:25and I cried
25:27not in front
25:28of anyone
25:29just by myself
25:30on the step
25:31until I was done.
25:34Then I wiped
25:34my face
25:35and went inside
25:35to start supper.
25:36When Rowan came home
25:37I was at the stove.
25:39He walked in,
25:40stopped,
25:40looked at my face.
25:42Who upset you?
25:43No one,
25:43I said.
25:44He didn't push.
25:45He just came
25:45and stood beside me
25:46and watched the pot
25:47for a while.
25:48That was enough.
25:51Rowan still
25:52wasn't back yet.
25:53The house sat empty
25:54and hollow around me
25:55like that same
25:56hollow place
25:56in my chest.
25:58My heart had already
25:59died the day
25:59Edmund sold me.
26:00I had known that.
26:02But a small
26:03stubborn piece of it
26:04had kept on wanting
26:04things it had no
26:05right to want.
26:06That day,
26:07looking at Edmund's face
26:09and seeing the self-interest
26:10dressed up as feeling,
26:12that piece finally let go.
26:14I wiped my eyes.
26:16I was tired,
26:18kind of tired
26:18that lives in the bones.
26:20I wanted to sleep
26:20for a long time.
26:22Lily!
26:22What happened?
26:23Who did this to you?
26:24Rowan was back.
26:26He came through the door
26:27still cold from outside,
26:28dropped everything
26:28at his feet
26:29and crossed the room
26:30to me in a few steps.
26:31He held me at arm's length
26:33and looked me over,
26:33front and back,
26:34lifted me slightly
26:35off the ground
26:36and turned me around once.
26:37Did you fall?
26:38Are you hurt?
26:39Where does it hurt?
26:40Show me.
26:41We're going to the doctor.
26:43Right now.
26:45I shook my head.
26:46I stepped forward
26:47and put my arms
26:48around his waist
26:48and held on.
26:50Rowan went completely still.
26:52Every muscle in his body
26:53tensed.
26:54He stopped breathing.
26:56I pressed my face
26:57against his chest
26:58and love his heart
26:59beat fast and hard.
27:02Rowan,
27:02I don't want to go back
27:04to Edmund's house.
27:08That night he didn't touch me.
27:09He heated a full pot of water
27:11and let me soak
27:11in a long hot bath.
27:14Afterward he held me
27:15the way you hold someone
27:15who is tired
27:16and he sang to me,
27:18badly.
27:18He was clearly making up
27:20the tune as he went
27:21but he kept going
27:22until I fell asleep.
27:23When I woke in the morning
27:24the yard was already swept
27:25and something warm
27:26was waiting on the stove.
27:28Rowan was in the yard,
27:29shirtless despite the cold,
27:31splitting wood
27:31with great cheerful enthusiasm.
27:33He saw me come out
27:34and grinned.
27:35Did I wake you?
27:36I figured you'd be up by now.
27:38He was going back
27:39into the hills
27:39for five days.
27:41He wanted to earn more money.
27:43He wanted things
27:43to be comfortable for me.
27:45The morning he left,
27:47he made a pot of broth
27:48that would last,
27:49told me to eat on schedule
27:50and not go looking for trouble.
27:52I nodded.
27:53I watched him shoulder his rifle
27:55and walk out
27:56into the early mist
27:57and I felt something
27:58I didn't want to examine
27:59too closely.
28:02Those five days
28:03I swept the yard
28:04every morning
28:04and kept a plate warm
28:05on the stove each evening.
28:07On the fifth day,
28:08at dusk,
28:09with the sky burning orange
28:10and red along the ridge,
28:12his shape appeared
28:12at the far end of the lane.
28:14He was walking fast.
28:15His face was lit up.
28:17His game bag was full and heavy.
28:20Lily, I'm home!
28:21He'd barely made it
28:22through the gate
28:22before he set the bag down
28:24and came toward me,
28:25eyes bright.
28:26I stepped forward
28:27to help him with the rifle,
28:28but he caught my hands.
28:30Hold on.
28:31I brought you something.
28:33He crouched down
28:34and opened the bag
28:34the way you'd open
28:35something that might break.
28:36Slowly, gently,
28:38with both hands.
28:39At the mouth of the bag,
28:40two white shapes appeared.
28:42Long necks,
28:43faint golden markings,
28:45soft as winter light.
28:46A pair of fesses.
28:49White ones.
28:51Rare enough
28:51that most people lived
28:53and died without seeing one.
28:56Are those white fesses?
29:01My eyes went wide.
29:02White pheasants
29:03were considered
29:04a lucky omen.
29:05Some people said
29:06they appeared
29:06only once in a generation.
29:08Rowan nodded,
29:09stroking the feathers
29:10with one finger,
29:11voice gentle.
29:11Found them deep
29:12in the back country.
29:13Took two days
29:14of waiting to catch them,
29:15not a feather out of place.
29:16News moved fast.
29:18By the next morning,
29:19the whole settlement
29:19knew about the birds.
29:20A crowd had gathered
29:22at the gate,
29:22everyone up on their tees
29:24trying to see over,
29:25voices tumbling
29:26over each other.
29:26Lord above,
29:27they're real.
29:27Just like the old people
29:29used to describe.
29:30That's a genuine
29:30lucky omen.
29:31You know what those are worth
29:32to the county magistrate?
29:34At least a hundred dollars
29:36as a gift.
29:37Rowan's made his fortune.
29:39A hundred dollars!
29:41That's a regular family's
29:42whole lifetime!
29:43Someone pressed forward
29:44to tell Rowan
29:45with a face full of flattering
29:46that gifting them
29:47to the magistrate
29:47might get him
29:48a proper appointment
29:48somewhere.
29:49Rowan gave them
29:50a flat look
29:51and said nothing.
29:51He turned
29:52and carried the cage
29:53to the shaded corner
29:54of the yard,
29:55set it down,
29:56filled a small dish
29:56with millet
29:57and water for the birds.
29:59Don't listen to them.
30:01Once I've made
30:01the arrangements,
30:03I'll take them to town.
30:05I know someone
30:06reliable there
30:07who can get them
30:07to the county seat safely.
30:09I watched his serious face
30:11and felt something warm
30:12move through my chest.
30:13I nodded.
30:14I thought that was settled.
30:16I was wrong.
30:17That same afternoon,
30:19urgent fists hit the gate
30:20and with it came a sound
30:21that made my stomach drop.
30:23Mrs. Hartley's voice,
30:25sharp as wire.
30:27Lily!
30:29Open up!
30:30Open this gate, Royal!
30:36Rowan read my face
30:37and put a hand
30:38on my shoulder.
30:39I'll get it.
30:40You stay inside.
30:41Don't let her get
30:42under your skin.
30:43I shook my head
30:44and took his hand off.
30:45I'll go.
30:46It was always
30:47going to come to this.
30:48Mrs. Hartley stood in the lane
30:49with the deliberate look
30:50of someone who has decided
30:51she has owed something.
30:52A few curious neighbors
30:54had already gathered
30:54behind her.
30:55Her eyes went past me
30:56the moment I opened the gate.
30:58Straight to the corner of the yard,
30:59straight to the cage.
31:00Something lit up in her face
31:01that I didn't like at all.
31:02There it is.
31:03She pushed past me
31:04and walked directly
31:05to the cage,
31:07craning her neck
31:07to look at the birds inside.
31:09The hunger in her expression
31:10kept getting bigger.
31:11Rowan stepped in front of her,
31:13jaw set,
31:14voice cool.
31:15Mrs. Hartley,
31:16what brings you to my house?
31:18She turned,
31:19gave him a brief glance,
31:20and spoke with the confidence
31:21of someone stating
31:22an obvious fact.
31:23Lily is my son's wife.
31:25She's been contracted
31:25to you for a year,
31:26but she's still an
31:27Edmund Hartley family woman
31:28at the end of it.
31:29Whatever comes to her
31:30while she's in your house
31:31belongs to us.
31:33I heard that
31:34and felt the heat
31:35rise in my face.
31:37That is the most outrageous
31:38thing I've ever heard.
31:40I was contracted to Rowan.
31:42These birds are his.
31:43He caught them.
31:45Your family has nothing
31:46to do with any of it.
31:48Her expression
31:49went through two
31:50or three colors
31:51and then she launched
31:53into her speech.
31:55Edmund had sacrificed
31:56everything.
31:57The family had given up
31:59everything for his studies.
32:01Contracting me out
32:02had been done
32:02for our future,
32:04for my benefit,
32:04so I could one day
32:05be a scholar's wife.
32:07And now here I was
32:08living comfortably
32:09in another man's house
32:10and refusing to
32:11acknowledge what I owed.
32:13The white faces
32:14were a lucky omen.
32:16If Edmund presented them
32:17to the county magistrate
32:18as a gift,
32:19the magistrate might be
32:20so pleased that he'd
32:21approve Edmund's
32:22credentials by hand.
32:24Edmund would pass.
32:25I would return to
32:26the Hartley household
32:26as a scholar's wife.
32:28Wasn't that better
32:29than staying with a trapper?
32:33The more she talked,
32:35the less any of it
32:36resembled reality.
32:38The neighbors were
32:39murmuring now.
32:40The glances aimed at me
32:41had turned strange.
32:43I looked at her
32:44shameless face
32:44and felt sick.
32:47No.
32:48The birds are Rowan's.
32:49I won't give them to you.
32:51Get off this property.
32:52If you don't leave,
32:53I'll have At Rowan
32:54remove you.
32:55She saw my face
32:56and saw Rowan's expression,
32:57which had gone dark
32:59and still,
32:59and something in her
33:00flinched.
33:01But she didn't back down.
33:03Don't push your luck,
33:04Lily.
33:05If you won't hand over
33:06those birds,
33:07I will go down on my knees
33:08right here in this yard
33:09and let every neighbor
33:10in this settlement
33:11watch you turn away
33:12your own husband's mother.
33:14Let them all see
33:15what kind of woman
33:16you are.
33:18Rowan moved first.
33:19He stepped forward
33:21and blocked her.
33:21His voice dropped
33:22to something close
33:23to freezing.
33:24Mrs. Hartley,
33:25I strongly suggest
33:26you leave.
33:27This is my yard,
33:29not your stage.
33:30If you don't go now,
33:31you won't like
33:32what happens next.
33:33He was a full head
33:34taller than her
33:34and built like a man
33:35who had spent his life
33:36in the hills.
33:37The force of him
33:38standing there,
33:38quiet and certain,
33:39went through her
33:40like a cold draft.
33:41She straightened up,
33:42shot me a look
33:43full of venom.
33:44Fine,
33:44the two of you.
33:45Don't think this is over.
33:47We'll see how this ends.
33:48She turned
33:49and marched out.
33:50The neighbors
33:50drifted after her,
33:51most of them
33:52stealing one last look
33:53at the cage
33:53before they went.
33:55I watched her go
33:56and let out
33:56a long breath.
33:57The anger was still
33:58sitting in my chest.
34:00Rowan came up
34:01beside me
34:02and ruffled my hair
34:02lightly.
34:03Don't let it in.
34:04She's making noise.
34:06She can't actually
34:06do anything.
34:08I leaned slightly
34:09toward him.
34:11I'm not worried
34:12about the noise.
34:12I'm worried
34:13she'll go after
34:13the birds.
34:14He was quiet
34:15a moment.
34:17You're right.
34:18Leaving them here
34:19overnight is a risk.
34:21I'm going into town
34:22now.
34:23I have someone I trust
34:24who can get word
34:25to the county seat.
34:26Have him send
34:27someone official
34:27to collect the birds.
34:30That's the safest way.
34:34I grabbed his arm.
34:36Just take them with you.
34:38I don't like them
34:38sitting here.
34:39No.
34:40These birds are fragile.
34:42The road to the county
34:43settle is rough.
34:44I don't want anything
34:45to happen to them
34:46on the way.
34:47If the magistrate's office
34:48sends a proper escort,
34:49that's safer for everyone.
34:51He paused,
34:52then added,
34:53After I leave,
34:55lock the front gate.
34:56Lock the inside door too.
34:57Whatever you hear outside,
34:59don't come out
34:59until I'm back.
35:00I won't be long.
35:02I looked at his worried face
35:04and nodded.
35:06I know.
35:07Be careful out there.
35:11He pulled me in briefly.
35:13Held on for a second,
35:15then walked out fast.
35:16I followed him to the gate
35:17and watched his shape
35:18disappear into the evening dark.
35:20Then I shut the gate,
35:22slide the bolt across,
35:23and checked it twice.
35:24The yard was quiet,
35:25just wind in the leaves.
35:27The night came in fast.
35:28The moon went behind clouds
35:30and took the last
35:30of the light with it.
35:31I sat inside
35:32with my needlework,
35:33trying to keep
35:34my hands busy.
35:36It didn't help.
35:38I kept pricking my fingers.
35:40Small beads of blood
35:41dotted the cloth.
35:42After a while,
35:43something moved
35:44on the other side
35:45of the wall.
35:45Faint,
35:46like someone testing
35:47their footing.
35:48I set the needlework down,
35:50stopped breathing,
35:51listened,
35:52a soft thut.
35:53Someone landing
35:54in the yard,
35:55then careful footsteps
35:56on the flagstones.
36:01I was on my feet
36:02before I'd made a decision.
36:03I went for the door.
36:04Then I heard the voices.
36:06Move fast.
36:08Quiet.
36:08Don't wake that little rat.
36:10She's asleep by now, Ma.
36:12Let's just grab the cage
36:13and go.
36:14Edmund,
36:14get the lash open.
36:15Be careful,
36:16don't spook the birds.
36:17These are our ticket
36:18out of all this.
36:21I threw the door open.
36:23Stop.
36:24Right there.
36:26All three of them
36:27spun around.
36:28For one moment,
36:29something like guilt
36:30crossed their faces.
36:31Then it cleared,
36:32and they looked at me
36:33like I was an inconvenience
36:34to be moved.
36:35Mrs. Hartley put her hands
36:36on her hips.
36:37We're taking those birds
36:39tonight,
36:39and you are not
36:40going to stop us.
36:42Keep out of our way
36:43if you know
36:43what's good for you.
36:44Edmund stood to the side,
36:46but the careful,
36:46softly spoken scholar
36:47was gone.
36:48What was left
36:48was flat and cold.
36:50Lily,
36:50be reasonable.
36:52These birds
36:52can change everything for me.
36:53That's good for you, too.
36:55Let us take them.
36:55When I've passed
36:56and earned my credentials,
36:57I'll bring you home.
36:58I won't contract you out again.
36:59You have my word.
37:01I laughed.
37:04Your word.
37:05I walked forward
37:05and planted myself
37:06in front of the cage
37:07and didn't move.
37:08Edmund's father
37:09came at me first.
37:10He grabbed my arm
37:11and threw me sideways hard.
37:13I stumbled back
37:14and hit the wall.
37:15The air went out of me.
37:17Stop wasting time.
37:18Tie her up.
37:19Let's go.
37:19Edmund spoke
37:20without looking at me.
37:22Mrs. Hartley
37:22stepped forward
37:23and hit me across the face.
37:25Open harm,
37:26as hard as she could.
37:27The crack of it
37:27was sharp in the cold air.
37:29My cheek lit up with heat
37:30and I tasted blood
37:31at the corner of my mouth.
37:32You ungrateful little wretch.
37:34You dare stand in our way?
37:36I will teach you
37:37exactly who you belong to.
37:39She kept hitting.
37:40His father joined in.
37:41I fought back
37:42with everything I had,
37:43which wasn't much
37:44against three adults.
37:45I went down.
37:46My arms burned.
37:47My legs hurt.
37:48My face was wet.
37:49I wasn't crying
37:50because of the pain.
37:51I was crying
37:52because of the cold truth of it.
37:57Edmund crouched down
37:58and grabbed my hair,
37:59forcing my head up.
38:00His face above mine
38:01was stripped of everything
38:02I had once mistaken for feeling,
38:04just contempt
38:04and something greedier underneath.
38:06Lily,
38:07you really are pathetic.
38:08Rowan is a trapper
38:09in the dirt defending his property
38:11than stand on your own two feet.
38:13You'd rather be his contracted woman
38:15than be my wife.
38:16Let me tell you something.
38:17Whatever you think you are here,
38:18you're still just a contract,
38:20a year's agreement.
38:21You'll never be anything more,
38:22but I will be someone.
38:24I will be respected.
38:26And when that day comes,
38:27even if you beg me on your knees,
38:29I won't want you anymore.
38:31Not a woman without
38:31a shred of loyalty or virtue.
38:34I looked at his face
38:35and felt nothing but nausea.
38:37I gathered what I had left
38:39and bit into his forearm
38:41with everything I had.
38:43Edmund screamed
38:44and kicked me away.
38:45She bit me!
38:47The woman's feral!
38:49Mrs. Hartley pulled him back.
38:53Forget her.
38:54Let's take the cage
38:56and go before Rowan comes back.
39:03They grabbed the cage and ran.
39:06I lay on the cold stone
39:07and stared at the sky.
39:09Rowan had spent two days
39:10in the hills waiting for those birds.
39:12Not a feather out of place,
39:13he'd said.
39:14I hadn't been able to protect them.
39:15The gray of pre-dawn
39:17was starting at the edge of the sky
39:18when the gate swung open
39:19and Rowan came in fast,
39:21a uniformed officer
39:22of the county court
39:23right behind him.
39:24He saw me on the ground.
39:25He stopped being calm entirely.
39:29Lily.
39:31Lily, are you hurt?
39:34The officer looked around the yard
39:36and frowned.
39:37Looks like you had a break-in, friend.
39:43Rowan saw me settled
39:45and went straight to the Hartley house
39:47with the officer behind him.
39:49The Hartleys had brought the birds home
39:51and put them in the cage,
39:53fed them water and leftover scraps.
39:55By morning, both birds were dead.
39:58I found out later
39:59that this was something
40:00At-Roe had known would happen.
40:02White pheasants
40:03were high-strung creatures.
40:05Captured and put in a strange place
40:07without the right conditions,
40:08they would simply die of distress.
40:10The officer's patience
40:12ran out completely.
40:14He clapped all three Hartleys and irons
40:17and brought them,
40:18dead birds and all,
40:20back to the county courthouse.
40:23The magistrate had already sent word ahead
40:26to the regional governor's office.
40:29He had been waiting for that gift.
40:31What arrived instead
40:33was two dead pheasants
40:34in a family of thieves.
40:36He was so furious
40:38he could barely speak.
40:39He ordered 50 slashes apiece.
40:41When he learned Edmund
40:43had been studying
40:43for the licensing's exams
40:45he added a permanent ban.
40:47Edmund Hartley would never sit
40:48for another qualifying exam
40:50as long as he lived.
40:51All three came back unable to walk.
40:54Mrs. Hartley's health
40:55was already poor.
40:56The punishment broke something in her
40:58that didn't come back.
40:59She went home with a fever
41:00that climbed and wouldn't break,
41:02barely conscious.
41:03His father took to his bed
41:05and couldn't feed himself.
41:06Edmund sat in the yard all day
41:08with the look of a man
41:09who's somewhere else entirely,
41:11muttering,
41:11The exams.
41:12My exams.
41:13I can't sit for the exams anymore.
41:15His hair went grey at the temples
41:16almost overnight.
41:18He aged 10 years in a week.
41:19Everything he had worked toward
41:21was gone.
41:22Every plan,
41:23every sacrifice
41:24he had justified to himself
41:25and to me.
41:27The exams had been the only thing
41:29and now they were taken away
41:30and he had nothing left inside
41:32to hold himself up with.
41:33No money for a doctor.
41:35No money for medicine.
41:37Mrs. Hartley's fever kept climbing.
41:40Edmund had nowhere left to turn.
41:41So he came to me.
41:43That afternoon,
41:45he dragged himself to Roe's gate,
41:46knelt in the dirt,
41:47and knocked.
41:52Lily!
41:52Lily, please!
41:54Open the door!
41:55He was filthy.
41:56His face was streaked
41:57with dust and dried blood
41:59and he looked 10 years older
42:00than the man I'd married.
42:02He pressed his forehead
42:04to the ground
42:04when he saw me.
42:07Please.
42:08I'm begging you.
42:11My mother is going to die.
42:13The fever won't break
42:15and we have no money
42:16for a doctor.
42:18Please lend me what you can.
42:21I will repay you.
42:22I swear I will repay you.
42:24He kept bowing.
42:25Tears and snot
42:26ran down his face together.
42:29There was nothing dignified
42:30left in him at all.
42:34I looked at him.
42:36Do you actually think
42:38I'd help you?
42:40You sold me.
42:45You stood in this yard
42:46and held my hair
42:49and told me I was nothing.
42:52You let your parents beat me
42:56and then you stole
42:57from the man
42:57who housed and fed me.
43:02What happens to your mother
43:04has nothing to do with me.
43:05I turned toward the gate.
43:07He lunged forward
43:09and grabbed the hem
43:10of my coat.
43:12Lily.
43:13Please.
43:15I know I was wrong.
43:17I know it.
43:18I'll do anything.
43:20I'll give up the exams
43:21forever.
43:23I'll work with my hands.
43:25I'll take care of you properly.
43:28Just please.
43:30Please help my mother.
43:33You have to be okay with me.
43:33Rowan appeared beside me.
43:35He reached down
43:36and detached
43:37Edmund's grip.
43:38Voice empty of warmth.
43:43Edmund.
43:45Don't do this to her again.
43:48She's not going to help you.
43:50You brought this on yourselves.
43:52Go home.
43:53Edmund looked up
43:54at Rowan's face
43:55and then at mine
43:57and understood
43:58that it was over he let go he sat back on his heels in the lane and stared at nothing
44:06it's all gone he said to no one everything's gone
44:15he tried anyway he went door to door in the settlement asking to borrow money for his
44:21mother's doctor no one gave him anything everyone knew what the hartley family had done his father
44:31lay in bed full of grievances and self-pity useless his mother burned with fever drifting in and out
44:38of sense muttering about pheasants and credentials and all the things she was still owed by a world
44:44that had stopped listening she wasn't ready to die she'd never had her good years she was still
44:50waiting to see edmund become someone important when it became clear that neither edmund nor his
44:56father could get money for her treatment she acted on her own she sent word through a distant relative
45:02to a money lender in town borrowed a sum in her own name without telling either of them she thought
45:08it was simple get the money see the doctor then find a way to catch another pair of rare birds
45:12for
45:13the magistrate get edmund his credentials and pay it all back slowly she did not understand how money
45:18letting worked the debt doubled in days then doubled again her fever improved slightly
45:24the lenders came to collect she did not understand how money letting worked the debt doubled in days
45:31then doubled again her fever improved slightly the lenders came to collect three large men walked into
45:39the hartley yard one afternoon edmund and his father shook and begged for more time the men were not
45:46interested in more time edmund's writing hand was broken his father's leg was broken they lay on the
45:53ground and screamed mrs hartley sat on the ground beside them and wept and no one paid her any attention
45:58the lenders took everything that could be sold or carried to settle what they were owed
46:03the deed to the house the furniture all of it
46:09when the lenders left there was nothing edmund and his father lay injured and couldn't move
46:14mrs hartley's mind had cracked somewhere under the weight of it she sat in the empty yard for hours
46:19saying nothing they had nowhere to go they gathered a few rags of clothing and moved into the derelict
46:24chapel at the edge of the settlement the place had gaps in the walls and a roof that leaked
46:29no food no blankets they survived on whatever they could beg from passersby edmund had come undone
46:34completely his writing hand was broken he couldn't hold a pen he couldn't sit for exams he couldn't do
46:41the one thing he had organized his entire life around he sat in the corner of the chapel and rocked
46:46slightly and said the same things over and over my hand my exams i shouldn't have been greedy i
46:54shouldn't have contracted lily out when roe heard what had happened he took three dollars went to
47:00find the hartleys and bought a legal divorce document from edmund on the spot he came home and put the
47:07paper in my hands his face had that open lit up look it sometimes got lily you're a free woman
47:17then he seemed to make a decision he took my hand and held it and his eyes were completely steady
47:28lily will you marry me not a contract a real marriage you and me for the rest of our lives
47:35i looked at him this man who had cut winter blossoms in the dark hills and dragged them home for
47:42a woman
47:42he didn't know yet who had ordered me to eat until i was full and then pretended it was a
47:47command
47:47who had held me while i cried about someone else and asked nothing in return my eyes were filling
47:56yes
48:02rowan threw himself into the wedding preparations the way he did everything
48:07completely and with great enthusiasm he spent everything he'd saved from years of trapping and
48:13hunting fabric ribbon food decorations he got half the settlement to come help and transform the yard
48:19entirely red lanterns everywhere paper decorations on every window the smell of good food and wood smoke
48:25in the air a hundred times more festive than the thin quick ceremony edin had given me on the day
48:30itself the yard was full of people and noise and warmth half the settlement came to celebrate i wore
48:35the red dress rowan had bought me silver pins in my hair bracelets at my wrists a little color in
48:40my
48:40cheeks standing beside him i felt something i hadn't expected to feel again happy simply cleanly happy
48:47rowan wore a new rough cloth wedding shirt and looked like himself big and solid and sincere he looked at
48:53me the whole time with a softness in his face that he didn't seem to know how to hide we
48:57made our vows
48:58in the middle of the ceremony a commotion started at the gate the hartley family had come
49:06uninvited unwelcome they had come to eat someone else's wedding food edmund leaned on a crutch his
49:11broken hand hanging in a sling his face was gray and hollow his father was being helped along by
49:15someone his broken leg wrapped and dragging mrs hartley shuttled behind them vacant eyed dressed in
49:21rags everything about her at odds with the red and gold around her the guests who saw them first went
49:26quiet then the whispers started their own family and ruins may come here to eat off rowan's table
49:32after everything they did to it lily have they no shame at all rowan's jaw tightened but he said
49:37nothing he didn't send them away the hartlids found a spot and sat down and they ate quickly without
49:47looking up like people who had forgotten what it felt like to have enough edmund drank one cup and then
49:52another and another until he was past the point of knowing where he was he raised his head and found
49:57my face across the yard and rowings beside mine
50:06and something wrecked and lost moved through his expression
50:10he started talking loud enough for the people near him to hear
50:16lily lily lily i was wrong i know i was wrong i shouldn't have contracted you out
50:22i shouldn't have hit you i shouldn't have said those things
50:25rowan i'm jealous of you i'm jealous you can give her what i couldn't
50:30my exams my hand my house my lily all of it's gone
50:39all of it the guests went quiet around him some looked away no one argued with him and no one
50:48comforted him either when the evening was over the dark had fully come in a cool wind moved through
50:55the lane edmund refused his father's and mother's hands he was going back to the chapel on his own he
51:00said he walked out into the dark still muttering my name feet stumbling listing from side to side
51:08the river at the edge of the settlement was running high that time of year spring floods fast water
51:17edmund couldn't see where he was going at the bank his foot slipped he went into the water
51:27one arm broken he couldn't fight the current the river took him a few weak sounds and then only
51:33the roar of the water the next morning someone found him downstream on the gravel bank soaked through
51:42face a terrible color his expression still carrying the outrage of a man who had died believing he was
51:49owed better nobody cried for long he had done this to himself
52:06when the news reached mrs hartley what was left of her mind let go she wandered the settlement for days
52:12hair loose calling edmund's name and asking strangers when her son was going to pass his exams
52:18his father was already bedridden from his injuries when he heard his son was drowned and his wife had
52:23lost her mind he couldn't take the weight of it he stopped breathing there in the chapel in the dark
52:29alone they said his last words were some version of i should not have nobody came forward to bury either
52:35of them in the end it was the village elder who organized a collection enough to dig two simple
52:41graves on a bit of unused ground at the edge of the fields mrs hartley was last seen walking out
52:46toward
52:47the hills no one knew where she went a charitable traveler may have taken her in she may have died
52:53somewhere far from anyone who knew her name there was no word either way after the hartley family was
53:00gone there was nothing left connecting me to that old life rowan still went into the hills every morning
53:05he still came back every evening he never failed to bring something wild berries or a spray of something
53:11flowering just because he thought i might like it before long i was pregnant rowey became someone i had
53:16not fully seen before careful attentive refusing to let me lift anything heavier than a cup he would
53:22come home from a day's hunting and sit beside me in the evening with one hand resting on my stomach
53:26just there just present we kept to our small yard and our small house and our small life
53:33three meals a day four seasons turning steady and warm all the way through
53:39you
53:41you
53:41you
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