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Thirty Seconds Underwater - Full #englishsub #fullmovie 🍿🍿
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Short filmTranscript
00:00Today was supposed to be our deep dive mission with my boyfriend, Ethan.
00:06But at the last minute, he galled from Chloe and rushed off.
00:13He didn't notice I'd been caught in the undercurrent.
00:19In those 30 seconds, pinned against the reef with my breathing tube tangled in the rocks,
00:26the only running through my mind was,
00:29I wish he were here.
00:34The first thing I did after climbing ashore was reach up and touch my left ear.
00:40It was still bleeding.
00:42My eardrum had ruptured.
00:44Instinctively, I reached for my phone to text Ethan.
00:50A social media postist popped up on the screen.
00:53In the photo, Chloe Winters was in a swimsuit.
00:59Ethan the was but not alone behind hind her, his hands steady on her waist.
01:04The caption read,
01:06Thirteenth lesson.
01:09The little guy has mastered his second swimming stroke.
01:12It turned out that when I was on the verge of death,
01:18he was teaching another woman how to swimming.
01:22Droplets of water slid from the ends of my hair onto the screen,
01:26blurring the image.
01:29My phone rang.
01:31It was Ethan calling.
01:34Chloe swallowed some water during practice.
01:37You're such a good diver.
01:39You could have made the dive without me.
01:41But Chloe is so fragile.
01:43I had to teach her to swim first.
01:46You must understand, right?
01:51The ringing in my left ear kept going, steady and relentless.
01:57No need.
01:58I can't dive anymore, and I don't need a dive partner now, either.
02:06After getting my ear treated at the hospital,
02:09I made it back to the apartment.
02:11It was already 7.30 in the evening.
02:16Ethan had gotten home before me,
02:19fresh out of the shower,
02:21his hair still half damp.
02:26You're back.
02:29He didn't bother lifting his head,
02:31his fingers still tapping away at his phone.
02:36I'd sent him messages, too.
02:39A hundred and thirty-seven of them.
02:41All unread.
02:45The water temperature at the pool
02:47was way too low today.
02:49Chloe was in the water for two hours.
02:58Her legs were shaking by the time she got out.
03:01At a depth of a hundred and thirty feet,
03:04when the turbulence kicked up silt and sand,
03:07the water temperature was barely above freezing.
03:14My legs were shaking, too.
03:17So I grabbed that bottle of body lotion from your cabinet
03:20and gave it to Chloe.
03:25Her skin was so dry, it was driving her crazy.
03:27It's not like you were using it anyway.
03:31That was a limited edition I'd had a friend overseas
03:34stand in line for two weeks to get.
03:38My voice came out hoarse.
03:41I see.
03:44Have some water.
03:47Good for your throat.
03:48Ice-cold Chloe's cup.
03:50Pink cherry blossoms printed on the ceramic.
03:53A fuzzy little rabbit charm dangling from the handle.
03:58Don't overthink it.
03:59I broke your mug, so just make do with this one for now.
04:06Not thirsty?
04:07I didn't take it.
04:08My hands stayed buried in my pockets.
04:10My fingertips were numb with cold.
04:13On the shoe rack by the door,
04:15a pair of tiny white canvas sneakers had appeared.
04:18A pink cashmere cardigan was draped over the arm of the couch.
04:22This apartment, our home,
04:24was slowly being filled by someone else.
04:31Ethan's gaze finally drifted over to me.
04:36What happened to your ear?
04:38The blood-spotted gauze covering my left ear
04:41got hurt.
04:44How'd you manage to be so careless?
04:46Ear injuries are the number one thing
04:48divers are supposed to avoid.
04:53Well, be more careful next time.
04:55But with your skills,
04:57I'm sure you handled it fine.
05:03Not like Chloe,
05:04that little disaster.
05:06You've never need anyone to worry about you.
05:09It won't clear up.
05:22After my shower,
05:23I went back to my room and opened my laptop.
05:26I clicked into the transfer application portal.
05:31I uploaded the medical certificate
05:34confirming the eardrum rupture
05:35and my permanent disqualification from diving.
05:39Then I submitted my request for reassignment,
05:43coastal data recording,
05:45New Zealand.
05:47The next morning,
05:49I was jolted awake by a searing pain in my left ear.
05:55The complications from the perforation
05:57were starting to set in.
05:59The pain radiated through half my skull.
06:04I dry-swallowed to painkillers
06:06before it eased enough to function.
06:12Today I had to go to the East District diving base.
06:18The physical copy of my transfer request
06:21needed to be signed in person.
06:27I pushed open the bedroom door.
06:29Ethan was already at the dining table.
06:34Come have breakfast.
06:36Chloe went out of her way yesterday,
06:38stood in line at that trendy bakery.
06:42The sandwiches were packed thick
06:45with bacon and melted cheddar.
06:49I'm allergic to cheese.
06:50One bite and I break out in hives.
06:53He never remembered things like that.
07:00I didn't touch the food on the table
07:02and asked him.
07:07I need to go to the base medical office today.
07:10The doctor wants a follow-up.
07:12I can't drive with my ear like this.
07:16Can you give me a ride?
07:20He looked at my pale face and nodded.
07:27Fine.
07:28I'm heading that way anyway.
07:30Your stuff comes first.
07:31Dive partners.
07:32That's what we're for, right?
07:34At nine, we headed out.
07:37The passenger seat was pushed all the way forward.
07:43A pink cartoon headrest was strapped to the backrest.
07:50Chloe was short.
07:51She liked the seat pulled up close to the dash.
07:56I didn't touch the adjustment button.
07:59I opened the rear door and climbed into the back seat.
08:03Halfway there, his phone rang.
08:10Ethan, where are you?
08:12Ethan, where are you?
08:12My leg hurt so bad.
08:13Where I had that cramp last night, it's all swollen now.
08:17Ethan's face changed in an instant.
08:21Ethan's face changed in an instant.
08:21Don't cry.
08:22Don't move around.
08:25He wrenched the steering wheel.
08:27The tires screeched against the wet pavement.
08:32I'm coming right now.
08:34A sharp pain inevitably shot through my ears.
08:41before i could even speak he hung up and glanced at me through the rearview mirror
08:51lana lie chloe's leg cramp got worse i need to go check on her first
08:59your prescription isn't exactly an emergency anyway i'll drop you off at the next intersection
09:04just grab a cab from there my voice was filled with agony
09:14we're on the overpass you can't get a cab here and my ear really hurts
09:23he said impatiently
09:28lana can you please not pick right now to be dramatic
09:33you swam back from a hundred feet underwater all by yourself what's a little walking
09:40chloe's timid she's hurt
09:44the car screeched to a stop at a desolate intersection
09:50get out i'll call you once i'm done with chloe
09:54i got out of the car raindrops hit the open wound on my ear the pain drove into my skull
10:00like needles
10:03i walked the rest of the way along the highway in the rain all the way to the base
10:12supervisor grant took one look at my bedraggled state and his brow furrowed deep
10:22ethan didn't drive you
10:26no he had something else
10:29where's the transfer form
10:32supervisor grant sighed and pulled a document out of his desk drawer
10:42i've already signed it headquarters approved it too
10:48i booked the flight for next monday three more days
10:53he looked at me hesitating
10:58lana does ethan know you're leaving i picked up the pen from his desk on the final confirmation
11:06line i pressed down hard and signed my name no he doesn't need to know
11:15when i pushed open the apartment door the living room tv was blaring some variety show
11:24ethan was half kneeling beside the couch holding an ice pack against chloe's shin
11:33you're back chloe's leg is really swollen
11:39i don't feel right leaving her alone so she's staying with us for a few days i stood in the
11:44entryway watching him keep his head down fussing over a patch of redness no bigger than a coin
11:55lana why is there a piece of wet tissue stuck to your ear
12:00before i could pull away chloe's fingernail had already hooked into the medical gauze
12:05soaked through from the rain
12:11i saw the smirk in her eyes and the next second she yanked hard the freshly clotted scab tore open
12:18along with it i let out a cry of pain chloe shrieked and recoiled her eyes instantly went red tears
12:31welled up
12:34i'm so sorry i thought it was just a scrape of tissue
12:39ethan immediately moved to soothe her it's okay it's okay don't be scared you didn't do it on purpose
12:52he grabbed a paper napkins and shoved them into my hand
13:00you all right go put some isine on that he didn't even stand up his other hand was still holding
13:07the
13:08ice pack against chloe's leg i took those to dry useless paper napkins and pressed them against the
13:15bleeding wound when i came back from the bathroom chloe was eyeing the plastic bag i'd set on the table
13:28lana were you at the deep sea diving base just now
13:36yeah ethan says the water temperature in the deep sea is freezing and it's so dark and cold down there
13:47that's why he only ever took me to the shallow end 13 times in a row she tilted her face
13:53up toward ethan
13:56then doesn't lana get scared all alone down there in the deep sea she's got great technique and nerves
14:03of steel she made it back safe of 100 feet underwater without a scratch you think everyone's like you
14:12choking on water in the shallow end lana's a professional surveyor she doesn't need anyone holding her hand
14:21first rule of diving never leave your dive partner 130 feet beneath the surface
14:28the 30 seconds my breathing tube was caught on the reef
14:36and my dive partner was in a temperature controlled shallow pool teaching another girl her second swimming
14:42stroke
14:47ethan that little silver whistle around your neck is so cute chloe suddenly pointed at ethan's chest
14:55that was my rescue whistle then for my first deep water dive tomorrow can i borrow it
15:07she tugged at the hem of ethan's shirt
15:13i'm scared if i can't find you down there i'll just blow this whistle okay lana
15:22this whistle chloe wants to borrow it for tomorrow that's fine right ethan turned toward me
15:29that was the day we officially became dive partners i was the one who hung it around his neck with
15:36my own
15:36hands
15:40i'm putting my life in your hands when you hear's whistle i will come for you
15:50those were his exact words to me that day
15:58it's just a whistle it's not like you don't have a spare chloe's going into deep water for the first
16:03time tomorrow she needs needs a little security don't be so stingy chloe's small voice drifted from
16:11the couch lana doesn't want to it's okay
16:19of course she doesn't mind right
16:25ethan unhooked the metal clasp from around his neck
16:28he bent down and slipped the rescue whistle over chloe's head
16:38there if you get scared tomorrow just blow i promise i'll be right there the moment i hear it
16:47i stood there rooted to the spot the ringing in my left ear grew louder and louder
16:57take it
17:00things that are given away don't need to be returned
17:04less than 24 hours until my flight to new zealand
17:10the transfer order was already signed minimum three-year assignment maybe i'd never come back
17:21in the morning i stood at the stove stirring a pot of seafood chowder his favorite
17:30the master bedroom door opened ethan emerged twirling his car keys
17:38the chowder just finished have a bowl before you go
17:43no time chloe's waiting for me it's her first time in the deep center day she was so nervous she
17:48barely slept
17:54my voice was tinged with sorrow
18:00ethan do you remember how many times you've abandoned me his tone was so casual that he didn't pick up
18:07on my sadness at all
18:11work stuff doesn't count as abandoning i looked at him and said very seriously
18:1713 times you abandoned me 13 times why are you counting like that you made it back safe every
18:26time didn't you
18:31and what if i almost didn't
18:34don't say things like that you're standing right here perfectly fine aren't you
18:43the ringing in my left ear kept going steady and unbroken
18:52do you have to go
18:54do you have to go
18:55i asked him one last time
18:59he was already at the door
19:03if i'm one minute late she'll be up on the shore crying her eyes out all day
19:07the door opened then it slammed shut i turned slowly and walked back to the dining table
19:17i poured the bowl of seafood chowder down the kitchen sink
19:27back in the bedroom i packed there wasn't much that belonged to me a few wetsuits some everyday clothes
19:37a single 20 inch suitcase was enough to hold it all
19:45before i left i looked back at this apartment one last time
19:52his shirt from last night was draped over the back of the couch
20:00the ice pack he'd used on chloe's foot was still on the bathroom counter
20:06her cup sat on the coffee table right next to his
20:11mine was broken i never bought a new one i sent ethan one final message
20:18we're done
20:20ethan had just climbed out of the water after chloe's deep end session
20:27when he picked up his phone my message was waiting on the screen
20:39his grip on the phone tightened april fools was weeks ago stop joking around
20:48but he knew ten years of knowing each other seven years as dive partners i had never not once played
20:56these kinds of games ethan i almost sank again back there good thing you pulled me up me up so
21:05fast
21:09let's go get sushi for lunch ethan pulled the door open and walked out
21:15chloe had already changed she was fiddling with the rescue whistle he'd given her
21:20out for it she was so good she was up with christ in a world now i missed her
21:32in the morning letting her drink sure if she's winning a party here
21:37he's weyk to peak cabin in the rest of the mountains who he was living with thunder
21:41calm down down by that day
21:46i'd be için thirty years ago
21:51The chat window still held only that one lonely breakup message.
21:58No follow-ups.
22:01No. Where are you?
22:04No. Come home soon.
22:08He typed.
22:10Got sushi with Chloe, won't be doing dinner with you tonight.
22:13Let me know what you want.
22:18Half an hour.
22:19Still no reply.
22:21Ethan, let's go watch the fireworks by the river after this.
22:25Okay.
22:26No. I'm going home.
22:31The apartment door swung open.
22:34No lights had been left on.
22:36The row of black wetsuits.
22:37Empty.
22:40The photo of their first dive.
22:43Flipped face down.
22:44He pulled out his phone and dialed the number he knew by heart.
22:48No answer.
22:50There was still one place he could look.
22:52The East District deep diving base.
22:56Ethan didn't bother knocking.
22:59He shoved the door open.
23:01Grant.
23:03Where's Lana?
23:05Supervisor Grant was in his office.
23:07You didn't know she left for New Zealand?
23:12Our deep dive mission is supposed to start next month.
23:16Our dears, Worshalai Branner.
23:18What's she doing in New Zealand?
23:20She applied for a coastal data recording position.
23:23Her flight's this afternoon.
23:25Grant slapped a photocopy down on his desk.
23:29As for next month's mission,
23:31I've assigned you a new dive partner.
23:34I don't need a new partner.
23:37The only partner I recognize is Lana.
23:41Supervisor Grant's brow furrowed.
23:43He pulled out a medical report.
23:46You didn't know her eardrum was ruptured?
23:52That she's permanently disqualified from diving?
23:56How is she supposed to be your dive partner now?
24:00Ethan stood frozen,
24:03his pupils contracting sharply.
24:05What?
24:06Grant said in a cold voice.
24:09That was a hundred and thirty foot strong current zone.
24:16What's the first rule of deep diving?
24:19Your dive partner never leaves your line of sight.
24:22When the turbulence swept her into the reef,
24:24where were you?
24:27Ethan's throat was dry as sand.
24:30I thought that deep dive mission was a hundred feet.
24:37She's done solo dives at a hundred feet before.
24:40She can handle it alone.
24:44So, I went to the shallow end to teach Chloe how to swim.
24:49Supervisor Grant was so furious he actually laughed.
24:52You didn't even read the mission brief?
24:55You left your dive partner alone in the deep sea
25:00to go play instructor for some woman who can't even swim.
25:04Due to gross negligence,
25:06the base has decided to revoke
25:07all your deep diving certifications for this year.
25:12Ethan didn't argue.
25:14He turned and walked out of the base.
25:19He sat in his car.
25:21He didn't even turn the headlights on.
25:27Lana.
25:29I didn't know you were hurt that badly.
25:34His hands trembling,
25:36he opened my chat window.
25:42Lana.
25:43I didn't know it was a hundred and thirty feet.
25:46I didn't read the mission brief carefully.
25:52I thought you could handle a hundred feet.
25:55Why didn't you tell me?
25:58Please,
25:59just send me one reply.
26:01Anything.
26:09This time,
26:10he got a response.
26:12He sat up straight.
26:13A single message appeared.
26:17If you had known it was a hundred and thirty feet,
26:20would you have chosen not to go to Chloe?
26:25Ethan stared at those words.
26:27He typed.
26:29I have stayed with you.
26:33But after typing it,
26:34he stopped.
26:35One by one,
26:36he deleted every letter.
26:38He couldn't lie to himself.
26:40Deep down,
26:41he had always been absolutely certain
26:43that my skills were good enough,
26:45that I wouldn't die.
26:47So he would always,
26:49every time,
26:50choose to answer Chloe's tears.
26:54In the end,
26:55the phone slipped from his palm
26:57and fell onto the floor mat.
27:09I sat in front of the data recorder,
27:12logging today's current readings into the system.
27:17No more diving,
27:19no more suffocation.
27:20No more waiting for someone to come save me.
27:25The ringing in my left ear still flared up sometimes,
27:29but I'd learned to coexist with it.
27:33A sharp metallic clink against the desk.
27:36A silver rescue whistle sat beside my keyboard.
27:40Around the mouthpiece,
27:42a faint ring of tiny teeth marks was still visible.
27:49Ollie pulled up the chair next to me.
27:54Lana,
27:55there's a guy downstairs looking for you.
27:57He's been standing out there for four hours.
28:01Says he's your dive partner.
28:06My fingers paused over the keyboard.
28:09Dive partner.
28:10What a distant,
28:11ironic word.
28:15Don't know him.
28:17Not interested.
28:19Tell security to get rid of him.
28:21He stood up and pointed at the rescue whistle.
28:28What about this?
28:31The whistle I had hung around his neck with my own hands.
28:35The one that meant I was putting my life in his.
28:38The one Ethan had put around another woman's neck.
28:43Throw it in the trash.
28:45The next day,
28:47Ollie came to my desk again.
28:50This time,
28:51he set down a clear plastic zip bag.
28:53Inside was a ceramic mug,
28:56painstakingly glued back together.
29:01Lana,
29:03he's still downstairs.
29:05He made me bring this up.
29:06Said he fixed it.
29:08I stared at the mug.
29:11He'd glued it back together.
29:13But a shattered cup,
29:14no matter how carefully you piece it,
29:17will always leak.
29:19I carried the bag to the trash.
29:22Just throw it away.
29:24Day three,
29:24a bottle of limited edition body lotion.
29:29Day four,
29:30a thick diving log book,
29:32chronicling every single dive from our seven years as partners.
29:36Day five,
29:37a pair of custom diving rings.
29:42A strange atmosphere settled over the office.
29:47What day is this now?
29:49Thirteen.
29:50I heard he and Lana used to be partners.
29:54Coming all this way after her.
29:57Kind of heartbreaking.
29:59Heartbreaking?
30:01You all know what it means in coastal survey work.
30:04The weight of putting your back in someone else's hands.
30:09He's the one who did her wrong first.
30:12But he's burning up with a fever,
30:15can barely stand.
30:16He's still staring up at this building.
30:22I tapped the final data entry into the keyboard.
30:26I'm going downstairs.
30:29The automatic doors slid open.
30:31Cold wind mixed with rain blew in.
30:34Ethan was leaning against the wall.
30:37His body trembling slightly.
30:39He'd lost a lot of weight.
30:41His eyes were sunken deep.
30:43The moment he saw me,
30:44a light sparked in his gaze.
30:49Lana.
30:50What do you want?
30:51He hesitated for a moment and asked.
30:54Your ear,
30:55is it any better?
30:57It won't get better.
30:59Come back with me.
31:01Please.
31:04I've found the best ear specialist.
31:06We can get it treated.
31:09There is no treatment.
31:15I'm sorry.
31:16If I had just checked the mission depth that day...
31:19Ethan,
31:20a hundred feet or a hundred and thirty,
31:22it doesn't matter.
31:23The point isn't the depth.
31:25I spoke coldly.
31:29The point is
31:30that you weren't there,
31:33his breath caught.
31:38Being your dive partner is exhausting.
31:42I put my life in your hands
31:44and you used it to make someone else feel special.
31:48I thought you could...
31:50He was cut off by me
31:52before he could finish speaking.
31:57You thought my skills were good enough.
31:59You thought I was independent.
32:08You thought nothing would ever happen to me.
32:18So every single time
32:19there was a choice,
32:21I was the one who got left behind.
32:23Ethan's voice spiked suddenly.
32:26So desperate,
32:27his breathing came undone.
32:29I never meant to abandon you!
32:31I already gave you thirteen.
32:34His lips parted
32:35as though he wanted to speak.
32:38Just then,
32:38the sharp clatter of high heels
32:40echoed across the floor.
32:43Ethan!
32:44Chloe Winters came running over
32:47and seized Ethan by the arm,
32:48tears streaming down her face.
32:51I finally found you!
32:55Why didn't you answer my calls?
32:57Why did you disappear to New Zealand
33:00without saying a single word?
33:06Do you have any idea
33:08how worried I've been?
33:10Ethan's face went hard in an instant.
33:12He wrenched his arm free.
33:14Who told you to come here?
33:18Because I care about you!
33:21Chloe screamed through her tears.
33:28She won't even talk to you anymore.
33:30She got your diving
33:32surface ernications revoked.
33:34Why are you still chasing after her?
33:38She spun around and glared at me.
33:41Lana Brooks,
33:43do you even have a heart?
33:46Ethan came all the way here for you.
33:49Stood in the rain
33:50for hours and hours.
33:53How can you treat him like this?
33:56Shut your mouth!
33:57Ethan stepped between me and Chloe.
34:00My business is none of yours.
34:02How can you say
34:04there's nothing between us?
34:06Ethan, I love you.
34:18Ethan's face changed completely.
34:20What the hell are you saying?
34:21I don't love you!
34:23I have never loved you!
34:25Chloe let out a bitter,
34:27broken laugh.
34:29You don't love me!
34:32You don't love me?
34:33Then why,
34:33when my leg cramped up,
34:36did you abandon her under the overpass
34:38and drove through the rain to get to me?
34:41You don't love me?
34:43Then why did you take her rescue whistle
34:45off your own neck
34:46and put it around mine?
34:49You don't love me?
34:52Then why did you leave her alone
34:54in the deep sea
34:55thirteen times
34:57to come to the shallow end with me?
35:01With every word,
35:03Ethan's face went one shade paler.
35:05And my left ear,
35:07it felt like a steel needle
35:09had been driven in deep.
35:14I only helped you
35:16because you were so helpless.
35:18I pitied you.
35:21You gave me
35:22every bit of the devotion
35:23that belonged to your girlfriend.
35:26And now you're telling me
35:27it was just pity?
35:29Ethan stopped
35:30trying to reason with her.
35:32He turned to me,
35:33frantic.
35:34Lana,
35:34it wasn't like that.
35:36She's the one
35:37who got the wrong idea.
35:39You were the one
35:40who gave her room
35:42to get the wrong idea.
35:45And you crossed the line yourself.
35:48He had severed the oxygen line
35:50with his own hands.
35:51And now he was asking me
35:52if I needed help breathing.
35:57I don't care what you were thinking.
35:59And I don't care where your heart is.
36:01I won't interfere in your life.
36:03I looked him straight in the eyes.
36:06So please,
36:08stop interfering in mine.
36:10I turned around
36:11and walked back upstairs.
36:13I didn't look back.
36:17After that day,
36:18Chloe went back home.
36:19But Ethan didn't leave.
36:22He rented a ground floor apartment
36:24in the building across from mine.
36:29If he pushed open his window,
36:31he could see the light in my kitchen.
36:37He stopped standing outside
36:38the office building every day.
36:42Instead,
36:43every morning,
36:44a paper bag appeared hanging
36:46from the handle of my workstation door.
36:49A cup of hot americano
36:51to slices of whole wheat toast.
36:54No cheese.
36:57When I got off work,
36:59the sky was usually already dark.
37:03The survey station
37:04is at a remote port.
37:06The two-mile coastal road
37:08from the station to the bus stop
37:09has no streetlights.
37:12Walking home after dark,
37:14I always heard it,
37:15a faint footstep,
37:16trailing 10 or 15 yards behind me.
37:19When I stopped,
37:21the sound stopped.
37:22When I turned a corner,
37:23the sound followed.
37:24One night,
37:26a stray dog bolted out of nowhere
37:28and knocked on the trash can.
37:30The footsteps behind me
37:32scrambled out of rhythm.
37:33He ran forward a few steps,
37:35then stopped,
37:36five yards away.
37:38The dim glow of a street lamp
37:40fell across him.
37:41He was wearing a thin trench coat,
37:43clutching a long black umbrella.
37:46I looked at him.
37:48He took a step backward.
37:54I won't come close.
37:56His voice was shredded by the wind.
38:00The road's too dark!
38:03You can't see where you're stepping!
38:06I turned away and kept walking.
38:09December 24th.
38:11Christmas Eve.
38:12It doesn't really snow in New Zealand,
38:14but this year the temperature
38:15had dropped below freezing.
38:18I finished up at work,
38:20cleared my desk,
38:22and walked out of the station.
38:26I wrapped my scarf tighter
38:28and started down that pitch-black coastal road.
38:31The footsteps followed,
38:32as they always did.
38:37I reached my apartment building
38:40and pressed the buzzer.
38:45The footsteps behind me
38:47stopped at the edge of the street lamp's glow.
38:51He stood there,
38:53his shoulders soaked through from the rain.
38:58Ethan Pierce.
39:02Here.
39:04How long are you going to follow me?
39:06His voice was hoarse.
39:08I'm not trying to bother you.
39:11I just...
39:12I just want to make sure you get home safe.
39:17It's cold out.
39:20I looked at his lips,
39:22tinged blue from the freezing air.
39:25Come inside.
39:28The living room lights were off.
39:30Only a single floor lamp was on.
39:34I walked into the kitchen,
39:36turned on the stove.
39:38I filled a pot with water
39:39and added some more cocoa powder.
39:42He sat on the edge of the couch,
39:44body rigid,
39:45hands clasped together.
39:47He didn't even dare lean back.
39:50Do you remember
39:52one Christmas Eve?
39:54Years ago?
39:55His voice came from behind me.
39:59That year we were in Iceland.
40:01We'd just surfaced from a dive,
40:03freezing.
40:05You said you wanted some hot cocoa.
40:07I went to three different stores
40:09and finally found cocoa.
40:13That night,
40:15we used to be this warm and sweet too.
40:18That day,
40:19he really did go to three different stores.
40:21But after he came back,
40:23he got a call from Chloe.
40:25She said she'd broken her leg
40:27at a ski resort.
40:28There was no one
40:29to take her to the hospital.
40:32He sat in the living room
40:33for a full hour
40:34on that long-distance call,
40:36arranging hospitals,
40:38contacting friends,
40:40finding doctors.
40:43I watched the hot cocoa
40:44by my hand grow cold
40:46until a layer of white froth
40:48finally floated on top,
40:50utterly disgusting.
40:55In the end,
40:56I threw away that cup of hot cocoa.
41:03He only remembered going to three shops for it,
41:06but never knew I hadn't taken a single sip.
41:11I turned off the heat
41:12and poured the hot cocoa into a cup.
41:16He stared at the cup of hot cocoa.
41:19The veins on the back of his hands stood out.
41:24And then,
41:25without warning,
41:27tears began falling from his eyes.
41:32Lana.
41:35Drink.
41:37And after you're done,
41:39don't come back.
41:41He didn't speak.
41:43He finally understood.
41:45This wasn't a dinner of forgiveness.
41:46This was the final send-off.
41:50He picked up the cup,
41:52his hands trembling violently.
41:55Hot cocoa spilled all over him.
41:57Yet he didn't even seem to notice.
42:00Tears fell one after another
42:02into the hot cocoa,
42:04onto the back of his hand.
42:09Everything you make,
42:10it's always been delicious.
42:13He coughing from the heat,
42:15tears and mucus running
42:16together.
42:18He was a complete,
42:20dignity-stripped wreck
42:21when he was done.
42:23He stood up.
42:26He pulled the door open.
42:28Cold wind gusted
42:30into the living room.
42:33I'm sorry.
42:35Those were his final three words.
42:38He pulled the door shut.
42:40Heavy footsteps echoed
42:42down the hallway,
42:43fading,
42:43growing distant,
42:45until they disappeared
42:46completely.
42:47Outside the window,
42:49the cold New Zealand rain
42:50kept falling.
42:51I picked up the empty cup
42:53and walked into the kitchen.
42:56The stream of water
42:57washed over the ceramic surface,
42:59erasing every trace.
43:03deep inside my left ear,
43:06the buzzing slowly,
43:07quietly began to fade.
43:09It stopped.
43:14Deep inside my left ear,
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