00:00Timothy! Timothy, I'd like a cup of tea!
00:09Afternoon, you're approved for the Buckingham Palace help desk. How can I help?
00:12Hi, so I've seen Buckingham Palace. It's Maffis. It's Maffis' house, isn't it?
00:19Yes, that's right. It's a massive house. Yes, that's correct.
00:22Right. I live in a one-bedroom flat with my mum and I'm wondering, can I move into Buckingham Palace
00:28because it's Maffis?
00:30Can you move in? Sorry, was that?
00:33Yeah, maybe near where the king is. I don't mind making him a cup of tea every now and then.
00:40Oh, that's good to hear. I might have to ask my manager about that once. Sorry, I'm afraid. Who is
00:50this calling, sorry?
00:50My name's Tim. So, if I move in, do you know I've got a Maffis driveway?
00:57Um, yes, we have a few pretty big driveways, yes.
01:00Right, so I've got a little red and yellow car so there's plenty of room then, isn't there?
01:05Do you know what I mean? And then sometimes you get them, you get their soldiers outside with the Maffis'
01:11heads.
01:12And I can, they've got guns. I can teach them how to shoot one time. I can do that.
01:19Teach them how to shoot. Oh, okay.
01:21I can teach them how to shoot one time. I can do it all the time.
01:26Because, because when people trying to break in into Buckingham Palace, I can like,
01:32Mami, I live here, get out. Do you know what I mean? Good security.
01:38Um, okay, Tim. Well, how good are your tea making skills?
01:43I'm so good at making a brew. Right.
01:45Because the tea, you know, the king has a lot of cups of tea a day, I will just say
01:49that.
01:49Well, you better have a bit of a good kettle because I can make, I can make a good cup
01:57of tea.
01:58I'll tell you how to make a good cup of tea, okay?
02:01Tea bag in, sugar, water, leave it.
02:05You've got to let it brew. That's why it's called a brew. You've got to let it brew, okay?
02:10And then give it a little gentle stir, squeeze the tea out of the bag, put it in the bin,
02:16give it another stir, add a little bit of milk in, give it another stir.
02:20It's all about the stir. It's all about the stir.
02:23So he'll love it. He'll love it.
02:25He'll be like,
02:26Yes, Tim, that's a very nice cup of tea.
02:29And I'll be like, yeah, ma'am.
02:33Oh, God. Oh, goodness.
02:35And I can do, I can do a good, I can do a good impression on the king.
02:40It's got lots of tears.
02:42Yeah, yeah.
02:43That's what I'll be doing.
02:45So do you think I'll be able, do you think I'll be able to move in?
02:49Do you think I'll be able to move in with the king?
02:53I can't, I can't make any promises, I don't think.
02:56I'll, I'll, I'll have to, I'll have to have a few words.
02:59I could maybe take an application for, for, for new tea master, maybe.
03:05Do you want to, do you want to see my impression of,
03:08do you want to see my impression of the king?
03:10Yes.
03:11Yes, absolutely.
03:12Go ahead.
03:13Yeah, Tim, Timothy, Timothy, I'd like a cup of tea.
03:21See, that's well good, innit?
03:23That was very good, I have to admit, yeah.
03:25You thought that was the actual king on the phone then, didn't you?
03:28I know, I got scared for a moment.
03:30Yeah, you're, you're fired!
03:32Yeah, see, that's what I'd say, if you don't let me be, if you don't let me live there.
03:41So, go speak to your boss, see if I can get a room, because it'll be better than my flat
03:49that I live in.
03:51So, I'll, I'll, I'll have a word, I'll see what I can do.
03:54And, and then you can put my name on a parking space as well for my car.
03:57Er, er, er, yes, absolutely.
04:01Go and get me, go and get me a room there.
04:04Mm-hmm.
04:04Do you reckon the rent will be expensive?
04:06The rental, er, er, the, the rental bit of Buckingham Palace?
04:09Yeah, if I was...
04:10We don't really do rentals, really.
04:12We're just moving in for nothing?
04:15Well, er...
04:20So, I won't have to, I won't have to, I won't have to, I won't have to pay anything a
04:24month.
04:24I'll just make a cup of tea and that, and then bang them in.
04:28Um, er, well, well actually, I think that's pretty much about right, really.
04:31And then I'll teach the soldiers how to shoot one time.
04:35And we can do that, can't we?
04:37Er, I, I, you know, I think that arrangement actually just might work.
04:41I think it will, I think it will.
04:43You go and speak to your boss, get me in, and I will see you again.
04:46Very soon, okay?
04:47Okay, thank you. Er, er, Tim was it?
04:50Yeah, my name's Tim, what's your name?
04:52Er, my name's John.
04:54John!
04:55John!
04:56Are you my real dad?
04:58Your, your real father?
04:59Yeah, you're my real dad.
05:01I, you know, I very well could be, Tim.
05:04Do you know my mum?
05:06Do you know my mum?
05:07Have you ever been and stayed in a one bedroom flat?
05:11A one bedroom flat?
05:12Er, a few times, yes.
05:14You could be my dad, are you good looking?
05:16Er, I'm, I'm not sure about that part.
05:20Are you ginger?
05:21Er, er, no.
05:23Yeah, you're not my real dad.
05:25Never mind.
05:26No, I'm not.
05:27Sucks to be you.
05:28Unlucky.
05:29Why?
05:30I'm gonna go, okay?
05:33Okay, Tim.
05:34I'm gonna try and find my real dad.
05:36I'll try and find my real dad.
05:38But I'll see you soon, okay?
05:40Okay.
05:40Okay.
05:41Bye, Tim.
05:41Love you!
05:45Okay, bye.
05:46Love you!
05:47Love you!
05:48Love you.
05:48Love you!
05:49See you in a bit!
05:50Bye!
05:50Bye, bye.
05:51Bye!
05:51Bye!
05:51Bye!
05:51Bye!
05:52Bye!
05:52Ha, ha, ha.
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