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  • 9 hours ago
Into The Wolf's Jaws
Transcript
00:00You are pathetic, Gary. Cooking, cleaning. You're not a boyfriend. You're a maid. I need a real man.
00:07Good luck finding a real man who remembers it into your dallergies, Tiffany.
00:14A goddess? Looks more like a lumpy potato to me. Women really used to worship a carb?
00:24What the hell?
00:42Ow, my back. Are you kidding me? What is this? Some extreme feminist cosplay event?
00:49Put the sticks down, ladies. What do women know about wilderness survival anyway?
00:58Hey! Let me go! Are you on steroids?
01:17Too noisy.
01:25Oh, wait, wait, wait!
01:35Let there be light, ladies.
01:44The fire god's messenger has descended!
01:48That's right. Worship the magic thumb.
01:51Fools! It's dark witchcraft! An illusion to corrupt us! Shoot that demon down! Now!
02:02Holy crap!
02:07The tribe is freezing. He stays. Keep him alive. We use him to make fire.
02:18Crazy.
02:19Crazy. These chicks are absolutely insane.
02:29The potato goddess? That's my ticket home.
02:38Survive these savage women. Get those pieces and get the hell out of here.
02:44Game on.
02:46Listen, where I come from, men are the alphas.
02:52Women listen. They cook.
02:55They gently ask for permission.
02:57Shut up.
02:58Whoa! Hey! Put me down!
03:13You gotta be kidding me.
03:19Look at those tiny arms!
03:21Weaker than a newborn calf!
03:24Yeah, laugh it up, you savage Amazons!
03:32Where is the damn restroom?
03:34Don't tell me...
03:41I'm gonna freeze my balls off!
03:49Holy crap! Help!
04:01Toxic masculinity gets you killed here.
04:05You want an alpha?
04:07Fine.
04:09I'll give you the ultimate house husband.
04:14Wait, wait, wait, wait!
04:29Let there be light, baby!
04:42Envoy of the Fire God!
04:44He brings the sacred flame!
04:47Fools!
04:48Stand up!
04:49It's an illusion!
04:51Dark magic from a filthy demon!
04:55Ona!
04:56Shoot him!
04:57Pierce his cursed heart!
04:58Now!
04:59Yes, high priestess!
05:07Whoa!
05:09Whoa!
05:09Hey!
05:09Peace!
05:10I come in peace!
05:12Whoa!
05:26Hey!
05:27Watch the hoodie!
05:28The tribe needs the flame for the winter.
05:32Keep this...
05:33thing.
05:35We will use him to make fire.
05:38Ah!
05:41Stay inside, you useless weakling!
05:47It smells like wet dog and depression in here.
06:00Wait!
06:01The potato statue!
06:03That's my ticket home!
06:09Ah!
06:14Take one more step outside and I'll chop your legs off!
06:23Okay, Gary, play nice.
06:25Survive the cave women, get the pieces, go home.
06:31Okay, Gary, play nice.
06:46Survive the cave women, get the pieces, go home.
06:47And I'll do it now.
06:58In my world, men give the orders.
07:02Women are supposed to beg me gently!
07:23You crazy...
07:28Okay, I'm healed.
07:32Stop throwing me!
07:37Since you won't make a fire, go do the chores.
07:48Oh my god!
07:50What is that smell?
07:54Did something die in here?
07:56Clean it up.
07:58Wait, all of this?
08:00Are you insane?
08:01I'm an art director, not a dung beetle!
08:03Finish it before sunset.
08:06Or you don't eat.
08:11No!
08:21This is an absolute violation of male dignity.
08:24Back pride, back in my world, men run the show.
08:26We tell women what to do.
08:30Look at those tiny little arms!
08:32Thinner than a baby reindeer's leg!
08:35He can barely lift a shovel!
08:39What a useless piece of trash!
08:44I'll show you useless!
08:46I bench press occasionally!
09:06I just want to go home!
09:12God, I'm starving.
09:14I'd kill for a cheeseburger right now.
09:17Not now!
09:19Where's the restroom?
09:20Come on, there's got to be an outhouse or something!
09:24Excuse me.
09:25Toilet?
09:26Restroom?
09:26Where do you guys, you know...
09:29Are you kidding me?
09:31Out there, I'll freeze my junk off!
09:41Holy crap!
09:44Mommy!
09:53Alpha male?
09:54I'm literally just wolf bait here if acting tough gets me killed then screw being tough
10:10it's time to bring out the ultimate house husband you filthy outsider how dare you defile
10:17the sacred ground whoa hold on I didn't do this this is a setup silence punish him 30
10:24blapes tear his skin off with pleasure high priestess
10:35hey watch the face let a professional handle this done spotless you could eat
10:47off this floor now you witchcraft keep an eye on this freak una
11:04playing the macho tough guy here is literally a death sentence fine if brute force won't work
11:09I'll just have to use the ultimate de mech skills I used to hate it I will survive
11:22where is the meat we have nothing left the blizzards chased the herds away we caught absolutely nothing
11:30what is that smell smells like a dumpster in July
11:32the winter storage is completely rotten the winter storage is good to die with this
11:49we're going to starve this winter
11:53silence the moon goddess is angry our winter supply is cursed to save the strong the weak must perish
12:01it is tradition exile the wounded throw the old men to the icelands please no we'll freeze to death
12:27the demon speaks he is blinding you all with his sorcery ona take his head off now with pleasure
12:39whoa whoa whoa wait
12:50give me one day just one day i swear i'll make this meet last all winter without rotting
12:59luna let go of the chief you filth
13:03hold
13:10you have one day if this fails your head goes on a spike deal just keep your blade in its
13:18seat
13:19thora take your best warriors to the salt lake i need raw salt bags of it now here what now
13:25magic man
13:27god it smells like a dumpster fire in a locker room listen up cut away the green rotten parts and
13:33toss them we
13:34only keep the good flesh slice them thin and even like this it helps to dry faster
13:40salt and wild herbs the salt draws out moisture the herbs kill bacteria it's science ladies
13:49witchcraft you are poisoning our winter supply with your filthy trick
13:59what the hell is what the hell is wrong with you you crazy
14:00are you trying to starve everyone i'll cut your tongue out you pathetic
14:05wonder why
14:12touch my kitchen again and you're the next thing i salt
14:18oh
14:37Out of my way!
14:38I'm starving!
14:41Please work.
14:42Please work.
14:48She's frozen!
14:49The demon's food is cursed!
14:53If she dies, I will skin you alive.
14:55Wait!
14:56Just give her a second!
14:57It's just salt!
15:00This is incredible!
15:03Salty, savory, it's a hundred times better than plain roasted meat!
15:08I could eat a whole reindeer of this!
15:24The meat is preserved!
15:26We will not starve this winter!
15:31Hail the fire messenger!
15:33See?
15:34Told you modern science never lies.
15:37You skinny little genius!
15:39Whoa!
15:40Hey!
15:40Put me down!
15:42Woohoo!
15:42The magic management saved us!
15:44Yeah!
15:47Okay, okay.
15:48I guess I'm the chef now.
15:57Ugh!
15:58Water boiled jerky again?
15:59My taste buds are literally committing suicide!
16:02I can't take this caveman diet anymore.
16:04I need flavor!
16:09Hello!
16:10Gorgeous!
16:11Time to introduce these cavewomen to some real flavor!
16:24Come get it ladies!
16:26The Gary special!
16:27Guaranteed to blow your minds!
16:36What sorcery is this?
16:38It smells aggressive!
16:40Try it, big girl!
16:41If you can handle it!
16:47It burns!
16:48It's like swallowing fire!
16:50But I can't stop!
16:51Give me water and more meat!
16:56Welcome to the spicy club, amateurs!
17:03What is this chaos?
17:04What is this chaos?
17:12Chief, I was just...
17:15Wait!
17:16Chief!
17:16That's pure chili oil!
17:17You can't just...
17:18That will kill you!
17:41Hey!
17:42Hey!
17:43I got you!
17:48Hold on!
17:49I know exactly what you need!
18:01Drink this!
18:02It's ginger and sweet root!
18:04It'll warm you up from the inside!
18:18A tough chief shouldn't have to fight the cold all by herself!
18:23Just rest!
18:38Damn!
18:39It's freezing!
18:48Cover yourself!
18:49Don't freeze to death!
18:54Who's gonna cook for me if you die?
19:05I-I-I picked these for you!
19:07Ew!
19:09Ugh!
19:10You smell like sour mud!
19:11And look at these skinny arms!
19:13A real warrior needs a strong man!
19:16Not a weakling like you!
19:22Look at you!
19:23You're just like a nanny who only knows how to cook!
19:25You have zero masculinity!
19:32Not again!
19:34I won't let this happen again!
19:37Stop crying like a baby!
19:39But-but I can't fight those wild beasts!
19:41I'm too weak!
19:42Since we can't beat these tigresses with muscles,
19:44we'll conquer them with elegance!
19:51Skincare is a man's second life!
19:53Endure it!
19:55Dying noise,
20:01You've got to be too.
20:02Easy.
20:15By the moon goddess, is that Elian?
20:20You're coming to my tent tonight, gorgeous!
20:23Back off! I saw him first.
20:31Gary, you're a miracle worker. Thank you.
20:36Teach us, Master Gary. Save our love lives.
20:40All right, boys. Welcome to Gary's Grooming Masterclass.
20:44Rule number one, exfoliation.
20:45You gotta treat your skin like a delicate flower, not a mammoth half-tide.
20:49Look at those hands. So gentle.
20:57Enough.
20:59Whoa! Easy, Chief.
21:08Listen up.
21:10This man's hands are only for cooking my food and sewing my clothes.
21:14Nobody touches him!
21:16He is mine to order around.
21:25You know what?
21:26Maybe being a domestic god isn't so bad after all.
21:35Are you blind? You call yourself a warrior?
21:38Look at her, the blizzard curse!
21:39Keep your dirty snow off the training grill!
21:46Hey, back off! It's just dandruff, not a curse.
21:51Give me ten minutes. I'll cure your little blizzard permanently.
21:56Just relax your neck. Think of it as a VIP spa treatment.
22:03Spa what? It feels weirdly good.
22:06Focus on the massage. No scratching, just rubbing.
22:25All done. Take a look.
22:33By the moon goddess. It's gone. The snow is gone. You saved my life. No one has ever been this
22:40kind to me.
22:42I owe you. Come with me. I have to tell you a secret. A huge one.
22:46Whoa, slow down. What secret?
22:55Whoa, easy. What's with the cloak and dagger procedure?
22:58Gary, you gotta hear this. I saw something bad.
23:01What? Did someone steal my secret chili sauce again?
23:03No! It's High Priestess Morica.
23:06A few nights ago, I saw her sneaking around the back mountain.
23:09She was burying huge chests of premium pelts in a hidden snow cave.
23:13Hoarding winter supplies in secret?
23:16That old witch is embezzling the tribe's public property.
23:19This is our trump gone.
23:24What are you two whispering about?
23:26Oh, hey, Una. What a lovely night.
23:28Are you plotting against the High Priestess?
23:33Plotting? No, we were talking about hair.
23:36See? Her hair is a disaster.
23:38I'm teaching her the ultimate modern braiding technique.
23:40It's called the French braid. Very chic.
23:44You think I'm a fool outsider?
23:47Your soft little tricks might amuse the chief, but Marana sees everything.
23:51Noted. I'll make sure to offer her a scalp massage next time.
23:55Watch your back, rat.
24:03The old witch is feeling threatened.
24:05They're coming for me.
24:09That outsider rat!
24:10He's infecting our warriors with his soft, pathetic tricks.
24:14He must die!
24:15Say the word, High Priestess.
24:17I'll slit his throat while he sleeps.
24:19Fool!
24:20Brenna shields him like a prized pet.
24:22If we just kill him, she will tear us apart.
24:24We need leverage.
24:25A fatal sin.
24:27Watch him.
24:28Every breath, every step.
24:30Find his weakness.
24:30Yes, High Priestess.
24:32Yes, High Priestess.
24:36Now or never.
24:43Just one left.
24:45I'm going home.
24:52Defiling the gods.
24:54You're a dead man.
24:56High Priestess!
24:58I caught him!
24:59He touched the sacred altar!
25:00Speak clearly.
25:01What did the rat do?
25:03He stole a piece of the mother goddess.
25:05He hid it in his clothes.
25:09It's the ultimate sin.
25:11I'll gather the gods and arrest him for theft right now.
25:13Theft?
25:14No, that's too petty.
25:15We will give him a grander stage.
25:17The moon festival is tomorrow.
25:18The whole tribe will be watching.
25:20We won't say he stole it.
25:22We will tell them he is piecing the idol together
25:24to activate a dark curse and destroy our entire tribe.
25:27Let's see if our dear chief can save him from the wrath of the gods.
25:35High Priestess!
25:36Yes, I saw it.
25:36The Outsider stole a fragment of the goddess's statue.
25:40Blasphemy.
25:41The absolute perfect sin.
25:43He's dug his own grave.
25:45Tomorrow, he dies.
25:55Yes.
25:56Just one last core piece,
25:58and I'm out of this freezing hell.
26:02What are you hiding?
26:04Hiding?
26:05Nothing.
26:06Just checking my abs,
26:08winter body prep, you know?
26:11Idiot.
26:12Don't choke on the bones.
26:33Stop the prayers!
26:36The moon goddess is furious!
26:38Her wrath descends upon us tonight!
26:41Because there is a rat among us.
26:44A traitor who stole our sacred relic!
26:50Whoa, wait!
26:51I was just eating my dinner!
26:54Seize the monster!
26:58Back off, Oona!
26:59He's innocent!
27:02Move, or you'll be punished for treason.
27:07Hey!
27:08Hands off!
27:10What are you doing?
27:36Brenna, it's not what you think.
27:37I just wanted to go home.
27:40He used his dark magic to beforege our chief and weaken our matriarchy!
27:44He stole the relic to curse and destroy this entire tribe!
27:48By our ancient law, throw him into the ice dungeon.
27:51Tomorrow at dawn, he will be frozen alive as a sacrifice.
27:59Wait, it's a misunderstanding!
28:02This is just a tool to get me home!
28:03I swear!
28:04A tool!
28:05It's dark magic!
28:07He wants to curse us all!
28:09Burn the demons!
28:11Burn the demons!
28:12Step back!
28:13He saved our winter meat!
28:14Have you forgotten it?
28:16Oona!
28:16Are you turning your back on the moon, goddess?
28:20Step aside now!
28:21Or share the demon's fate!
28:24Chief!
28:26The goddess demands justice!
28:28Make the call!
28:33Brenna, you know me.
28:36Tell them.
28:37I just cooked for you last night.
28:57Seize him.
29:08Take him.
29:18Are you serious?
29:20After everything?
29:22The goddess has spoken!
29:26I've been waiting for this!
29:34Let him go!
29:36He saved us!
29:37Move it, scum!
29:38The ice dungeon is waiting for you!
29:51I guess I was blind.
29:54You're just as cold and lifeless as that ugly potato statue!
30:00All you care about is your damn power!
30:09Shut your mouth, witch!
30:12No!
30:13No!
30:15No!
30:15No!
30:19Enjoy your final night.
30:21You'll be frozen solid by morning.
30:24No!
30:25No!
30:28No!
30:41No!
30:41Brenna!
30:45It's so cold.
30:47Just let it end.
30:49It's cold.
30:50It's so cold.
30:52It's so cold.
31:00Great.
31:01Going to die as a human popsicle.
31:06I spent all this time looking for an exit.
31:09Alders than eggs.
31:11Never treated this place like home.
31:26You stupid, stubborn tigress carrying the whole world on your shoulders.
31:44Eat it, skinny boy.
31:46Don't freeze to death before dawn.
31:52Thora.
31:54Seriously.
31:55Seriously.
31:57Seriously.
32:06She won't let me die.
32:08That tough-talking tigress is coming for me tonight.
32:10I know it.
32:23Who-who's there?
32:34Brenna?
32:36Brenna?
32:50Take this.
33:00How did you-why?
33:06Get out.
33:07Take the secret tunnel in the back.
33:11Go back to your world.
33:13The one with toilets and no freezing winters.
33:17And never come back.
33:31Chuckle softly.
33:36You're not afraid of dying.
33:38You're afraid of being forgotten.
33:45Do it.
33:46Go back to your soft world.
33:49Go back to your soft world.
34:06Are you out of your mind?
34:08Tomorrow morning, you're going to be chopped into meat paste.
34:12I can't save you.
34:25I caught your stubbornness.
34:30If I leave, who's going to make you that spicy stew?
34:36And who's going to help you teach that old witch a lesson?
34:53Now, it's our turn to strike back.
34:56Look closely.
34:57I pieced this together from what Lyra told me.
35:00Moranga's been playing you all.
35:03The sacrifices for the moon goddess, they didn't go to heaven.
35:06She hoarded everything in these hidden snow caves behind the camp.
35:10What?
35:10Your winter supplies.
35:12My people starved last winter.
35:14The elderly froze.
35:15And she was stockpiling our food?
35:17I'm going to rip her throat out right now.
35:19Whoa, tiger, wait.
35:21Stop.
35:22Let go of me.
35:24She pays with blood tonight.
35:26You kill her now in the dark.
35:28Her fanatics will say you murdered a holy woman.
35:31It's a civil war.
35:34We don't just kill her.
35:36We destroy her entirely.
35:39Tomorrow morning, at my public execution,
35:41we strip her of everything in front of the whole tribe.
35:46You better survive until morning, modern boy.
36:16These are from the Bloodfang tribe.
36:19The ones who slaughtered our sisters.
36:20Stop.
36:21Not in the dark.
36:23She sold us out.
36:24She traded our lives.
36:26If we kill her now, her followers will riot.
36:30We expose her at the altar.
36:33In front of everyone.
36:52Time to bleed for the moon goddess, freak.
37:06The moon goddess demands his impure blood.
37:16Death to the demon.
37:19It's in front of everyone.
37:47Are you betraying the goddess for this filthy creature?
38:13The only one betraying the goddess.
38:16This is you, you greedy, filthy parasite.
38:25This blade, it bears the mark of the Bloodfang tribe.
38:29They slaughtered our sisters with these.
38:31Traitor, how could she?
38:39Silence, you ignorant fools.
38:41These are sacred offerings.
38:43Tributes gathered for the moon goddess to protect us from the winter's wrath.
38:53Oh, give it a rest, you old fraud.
38:57Your hoarding habit is worse than my modern ex-girlfriend on a Black Friday shopping spree.
39:02Seriously?
39:02Can your moon goddess even wear that many fur coats?
39:05She's going to sweat to death.
39:19Blasphemy!
39:21Kill them!
39:22Kill them all!
39:23Oh, no, slaughter these traitors!
39:27For the moon goddess!
39:28Kill them all!
39:35You've been pissing me off for months, Ona!
39:40Die, you brute!
39:51My turn.
40:12Mercy!
40:13We surrender to the chief!
40:16Good job, Thara.
40:18That's one hell of an uppercut.
40:26No.
40:27My power.
40:29It's all gone.
40:31Die, you hypocrite!
40:33Get your filthy hands off me!
40:36I am the voice of the moon goddess!
40:39The goddess wants you dead!
40:41Beat her to death right now!
40:43Yeah!
40:44Yeah!
40:45Yeah!
40:45Yeah!
40:45Yeah!
40:47Yeah!
40:51This is for my mother, and for the sisters we lost to your lies.
41:07Are you crazy, Gary?
41:09Don't tell me you're trying to save this venomous snake!
41:11Typical weak man.
41:13Always crying and showing mercy.
41:16Don't dirty your hands, Brenna.
41:25A quick death is too much of a luxury for you, old lady.
41:29I've got something way better in mind.
41:32Something that will break your soul.
41:35Death is way too easy for her!
41:39She loves hoarding winter supplies so much, let's follow the oldest rule.
41:43Exile her to the frozen wasteland!
41:51No!
41:52No, please!
41:53I won't last three nights out there!
41:56Have mercy, chief!
41:57Just kill me!
42:06Let her live.
42:07Let her freeze and panic in the snow every single day.
42:10Thinking about her pathetic life, that's way more torturizing than a quick slice.
42:24You are so wicked.
42:26Learned from the best.
42:29I picked it up from you, my fierce tigress.
42:42Execute the exile!
42:44Now!
42:46Keep moving!
42:54Please!
42:55I will freeze to death out there!
43:01Cross this line, and I will end you right now.
43:09Dig faster, traitor!
43:12You have ten years to go!
43:33Gary!
43:34Gary!
43:35Gary-arry!
43:40Gary!
43:41Gary!
43:43Gary!
43:44Gary!
43:45Gary!
43:52Whoa, chief, what are you doing?
43:55Hey! Slow down!
44:11By our old laws, men don't stay the night.
44:17But listen up.
44:19From today on, this annoying little man is all mine.
44:23Nobody touches him.
44:24Anyone tries to steal him, I break your legs.
44:29Woo-hoo! Boss claimed her man!
44:31Yeah!
44:37Who's claiming who is highly debatable, you know.
44:57Look at this dump.
44:58Not even a proper silicone bottle or a decent pacifier.
45:04Your lucky daddy has good hands, kiddo.
45:13Get up, you useless bum.
45:14Stop hiding it in the tent. Grab your bow. You're hunting with me.
45:20All right, all right. Keep your fur on, you crazy tigress.
45:23Let's.
45:26Yeah, okay.
45:35I'm gonna go...
45:35No!
45:36No!
45:37No!
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