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Celebrity Gogglebox - Season 8 Episode 5 -Episode 5 engsub fullfilm🌸🍿🍿 Secret Engagement
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00:00Have you had something to eat before you came out?
00:03Yeah, I had breakfast this morning.
00:03What did you have?
00:05I had... Porridge?
00:07No, I had pancakes with some weird custard and jam on it.
00:11Oh.
00:12Then I had sausage butter.
00:15Then I had quazant and coffer.
00:17Oh.
00:18I had a lot of pastry and bread and cake.
00:20What sort of bread did you have on your sausage?
00:23One of them...
00:25No, quite sweet sort of bunny-type thing,
00:28like a brock-y-type bun.
00:30Not...
00:31Bit crisper.
00:32All right, OK.
00:34Great.
00:37Oh, I didn't talk.
00:41Here we go, high-octane stuff.
00:43He's done it again!
00:45Oi.
00:47Guest armour, sheer drama.
00:49Oh, he's got the one-liners.
00:50Well, it looks like a dogging area to me.
00:53What?
00:53No!
00:55Why am I watching this?
00:57Ah, my eyes!
00:58Oh, my God.
00:59That man's got 180 children.
01:01When will it end?
01:02How to speak without saying anything.
01:04Volumes 1, 2 and 3.
01:06Cover yourself in bovril.
01:08And let's get on with it.
01:10In the week, we bid a fun farewell to acting legend Dane Penelope Keith.
01:15We enjoyed lots of great telly.
01:19Emergency cars were coming through thick and fast on Channel 5.
01:24PHONE RINGS
01:33I've never been in an ambulance.
01:34I've never ever been in an ambulance.
01:36Do you know what?
01:36I don't think I've ever called 999.
01:38Have you ever?
01:39No, or 111.
01:40No?
01:41I don't even know what I would do.
01:43They go, hello.
01:45Hello.
01:45Do they ask who you want to speak to?
01:47Do they?
01:48Have you ever called them?
01:49Fire, police, or ambulance.
01:51And what would you say?
01:53Whichever one you need.
01:59And the final vowel, please.
02:01Uh, final.
02:03A.
02:03I'm dyslexic, bro.
02:04So I'm coming out of about four words, you know?
02:06Your thing is just a...
02:07You're on a conundrum.
02:08When?
02:10Then.
02:11Not.
02:12Yeah.
02:14Two.
02:15You know when you watch it and you're like,
02:17I've got five words, and someone's like,
02:18I've got eight.
02:19Eight?
02:20How you got eight, bruv?
02:21And John Turode was reinventing the sandwich on this morning.
02:26You take that with you on your picnic,
02:27and you know that you've got something delicious inside.
02:30Yep.
02:30And as well, not using lots of plastic.
02:33No, that's it.
02:34Wait, wait, wait.
02:35All right, all right.
02:36Don't...
02:36Don't sigh when she says about saving the planet.
02:39No, that was so unnecessary.
02:42Do you know what I mean?
02:42I don't need a moral lecture.
02:43I just want a sandwich.
02:44Do you know what I mean?
02:45Can I get a sandwich?
02:46Using cling film, you piece of shit.
02:48I'm like, all right.
02:48I just...
02:49I just want a sandwich, Josie.
02:51All right?
02:59Enough London.
03:00The hot weather.
03:01It's all...
03:02You're comfortable with it?
03:03Yeah.
03:03I love it most of the time.
03:05Me too.
03:05I think it's quite sexy.
03:07Does it get you going, Nigel?
03:09It gets me going.
03:10Julian and his good friend, Nigel.
03:13What do you mean, sexy?
03:15Well, you know, sexy.
03:17What?
03:18Does it turn you on?
03:20Yeah.
03:21The hot weather.
03:22Hmm.
03:23And what is the consequence of this?
03:27I have to ask my missus.
03:29Oh.
03:30Oh, she must dread the morning.
03:32She opens the curtains.
03:33It's a hot day.
03:34On Friday, we were on the edge of our seats for the grand final of series 93 of this.
03:42Can I have a drum roll now?
03:44Drum roll.
03:44Faster.
03:46Do your feet as well.
03:46Do your feet.
03:47Do your feet.
03:48Countdown final.
03:49Let's get it.
03:50Countdown final.
03:51Patrick's back, by the way.
03:52Let's go, Patrick.
03:57Apparently, mate, the woman on this, not her Carol Vodafone, but another woman on this,
04:03my mum knows her, mum.
04:06Small world, mate.
04:07Small world.
04:08Thank you so much for tuning into this big day in the countdown calendar.
04:12Series 93 final.
04:14100 years they've been doing countdown for.
04:16It's amazing.
04:17If it's series 92, they've been doing it for nearly 100 years.
04:20Wow.
04:21That's incredible.
04:22There could be an element of chess to this, right?
04:24Because are you going to play aggressive?
04:25Look, this is Patrick.
04:26He's like the countdown don.
04:29How do you play aggressively at countdown?
04:32Yeah, I don't know what that means.
04:33Give me a consonant!
04:35That's all right.
04:36From the bottom of all our hearts, the same best of luck to Charlie and Patrick.
04:41Come on, Charlie and Patrick.
04:43Now, these guys are really quick, aren't they?
04:45And they're great with numbers.
04:46Why aren't one of them Chancellor of the Exchequer?
04:49Well, he's a finalist on countdown, which is probably more fun.
04:52Can I have a consonant, please?
04:53Good luck to you two.
04:54Start the final with S.
04:56Please spell out tosser or something fun.
05:00Chlamydia.
05:01I like Rachel's dress.
05:03N.
05:03And another.
05:05D.
05:06Slip-nip.
05:07Slip-nip.
05:08Oh, this is where it loses me when all the letters come out.
05:11And a vowel.
05:12O.
05:13And another.
05:14I.
05:15Sold.
05:16Slip-nip.
05:17We'll just need an E.
05:17We've got a slayde.
05:19Slonned.
05:20Slons.
05:21Loins.
05:21Sloined.
05:22Loins.
05:23Loins.
05:23Loined.
05:24And another.
05:26E.
05:26Slip-nip.
05:27Slip-nip-nip.
05:29Doiler.
05:30Oh, yeah.
05:32Doiler.
05:33That's doilies I've got.
05:35Oh, see now.
05:36Without, please.
05:37Promising start.
05:37And a final O.
05:39Loins.
05:39Oh, loins.
05:40Okay.
05:41Is there a soldier?
05:43Soldier?
05:43No, you're thinking Bandolero.
05:47Slater, I'm going with that.
05:48We're only not using two.
05:49That's quite good.
05:50Soldier!
05:54Slinder man.
05:54What are we doing the workings out in her head?
05:56Slim the Oreo.
05:57Oh, Oreo.
05:58Solero.
05:59Solero's not bad.
06:01How many is that?
06:04Bains daily, how many daily is.
06:07Patrick.
06:08Eight.
06:08Eight?
06:09What?
06:09He's got an eight.
06:10He's got an eight.
06:11An eight?
06:11That is soldier there, isn't it?
06:13Sol.
06:14S-O-L-D-I-E-R.
06:17Seven.
06:18Patrick.
06:19Eidolons.
06:19Oh, piss off.
06:20What does that mean?
06:21What is it for the Eidolon?
06:22Okay, we're making up words now.
06:24How are we learnt?
06:25Eidolons.
06:26Charlie.
06:26Eidolons.
06:27They both got the same one.
06:28They are in the dictionary and they are idealised people or things.
06:32Oh, there you go.
06:34That's not how I'd a spell either.
06:36Sorry, who thought we'd have an E at the front?
06:39Constantly, Rachel.
06:40Thank you, Patrick.
06:41P.
06:42Per.
06:42Oh, it's tense, isn't it?
06:43And another.
06:44T.
06:45A vowel.
06:46Brilliant.
06:47Give me an A.
06:48Pratt.
06:49I.
06:49Yes.
06:49So close.
06:50An A, an A.
06:51Another promising selection.
06:52Final O.
06:54Granite.
06:55Granite.
06:55We've got Ego.
06:57Ego, yeah.
06:58Wherever Ego I go.
07:03Have they got the word already?
07:05Already?
07:08He's put his pen down.
07:10You've got to have a nine letter to just sit there smugly, haven't you?
07:16Operating.
07:17Patrick.
07:17Nine.
07:18Yeah.
07:18Nine!
07:19Show off.
07:20I'll piss off.
07:21What is it?
07:21Nine, he's got them all.
07:22Patrick.
07:23Operating.
07:24Operating.
07:25No way!
07:29It was as clear as the nose on my face.
07:33Operating.
07:34Two smooth operators.
07:36They've got the same again.
07:37They both got the same.
07:38He didn't get that.
07:39That is single-handedly my greatest ever achievement.
07:45And another.
07:46S.
07:46And a vowel.
07:47Nitted.
07:48NTD.
07:49They've got some lovely letters here.
07:50And a final vowel, please.
07:54Who's going to break the deadlock?
07:55That's the question, Denise.
07:56I think this is the deciding one, you know.
07:58Final E.
08:00Oh, my gosh.
08:01What have you got?
08:02Sectioned.
08:03This could be another nine, I'm telling you now.
08:05Sectioned.
08:07Sectioned, I've got.
08:08Sectioned.
08:09Yeah.
08:09Sectioned.
08:10Sectioned.
08:12Mummy, that's all of them.
08:14Is it?
08:15Have I got all of them?
08:17You haven't done it again, have you?
08:19You have!
08:22Patrick's done it already!
08:24Wait, is he done already?
08:25Are they done?
08:25Flippin' hell!
08:26No way!
08:29They want to have brought their knitting with them.
08:31Patrick.
08:32Nine.
08:33Charlie.
08:33Nine.
08:33Jennifer, nine.
08:35Uh, Patrick.
08:35Sectioned.
08:36Sectioned!
08:37He's done it again!
08:39Oi.
08:41Sectioned and Charlie.
08:42Sectioned.
08:43Ah, they've both got the same word again.
08:45Mate, this is...
08:46This might be going to a conundrum.
08:47It has to.
08:48We wanted it to be a crucial countdown conundrum.
08:51We are there.
08:52What?
08:53I don't know what a conundrum is.
08:54What's a conundrum?
08:55We are conundrums.
08:57What is a conundrum?
08:58A chaotic mess.
09:00And the only thing that could make this final better would be two crucial countdown conundrums.
09:07Colin is absolutely buzzing.
09:10We are incontinent with excitement.
09:12All right, so it's all on the line for Charlie.
09:14If he gets this right, neck and neck.
09:17What, then they have to go again?
09:18They have to go.
09:19This is basically like sudden death at this point.
09:21Oh, my Lord.
09:22Come on, Patrick.
09:23Patrick, Charlie, let's reveal.
09:25Come on, Charlie.
09:26This crucial countdown conundrum.
09:28Give us a tiebreaker.
09:31Patrick for the title.
09:33Oh!
09:33Oh, what?
09:35Go on.
09:35Ecuador.
09:36Correct.
09:37Cartouche.
09:38Let's have a look.
09:39Unbelievable.
09:41But there's no point, is there?
09:42Oh.
09:43What?
09:43How does he get that?
09:45He did it in three seconds.
09:47Cartouche in three seconds.
09:49Cartouche.
09:50We'll play.
09:51Cartouche.
09:53Honestly, I'd climb over that desk and I'd wring his neck.
09:58In Essex.
09:59Whatever I get dressed in in the morning is what I would go until I go to bed.
10:04And then when you go to bed.
10:05Oh, Nicky.
10:06Nicky Times.
10:07I knew you'd be a naked sleeper.
10:09Vicky and her good friend Pete.
10:12Yeah, who wears things to bed?
10:14Me.
10:14Gross.
10:15I can't stand my fucking flesh touching other bits of my flesh.
10:19What?
10:20So, you know when you're asleep.
10:21I don't know about you, but I sleep like the number four.
10:23So, I sleep with one leg straight and one leg like this.
10:26The number four.
10:27Right.
10:28Right?
10:28And if that part of my leg touched that part, I'd have a mental breakdown.
10:33Sweaty skin.
10:34Oh, you'll hate the way I sleep then.
10:36For some reason, I feel like you just sleep like this.
10:39I'm not...
10:39I'm not Count Dracula.
10:41Get up, I'll show you how to sleep.
10:43This is me asleep.
10:44Come on.
10:45You ready?
10:45Yeah.
10:48It's not much better than Dracula.
10:51On Friday night, the Queen of Pop turned up on BBC One.
10:55Graham Norton and Madonna, two absolute legends.
10:59British icons.
11:01She's not British.
11:03Is she British?
11:03She's American.
11:04Is she American?
11:05Her kid's British.
11:06Is she American?
11:07Madonna's American?
11:08Is she American?
11:09Didn't you know Madonna was American?
11:11I've always thought she was British.
11:13She's like, 67, mate.
11:14Looks wicked.
11:15Still smashing her career.
11:17Shagging a fella.
11:18Half her age.
11:19Pop off queen.
11:21We love to say women in male-dominated fields.
11:23Yeah.
11:24Clock in.
11:25Cl-
11:25Clock it.
11:26Hmm.
11:26In 1983, Madonna played her first ever UK gig at the Camden Palace.
11:32It's only one man who can tackle Madonna and that's Graham Norton.
11:35Okay.
11:35I don't want to be rude about Graham Norton because I'm always trying to get on his show.
11:38Ah.
11:39What are the chances?
11:40He's very A-list, I'm afraid, to tell you, Nigel.
11:43I'm always nervous meeting Madonna, but I do adore her.
11:48Would you be nervous interviewing Madonna?
11:50Terrified.
11:50Would you?
11:51Yeah, terrified.
11:52To be honest, sometimes I get nervous just to chat on the phone to my electrician.
11:57Yeah, Madonna would be more intimidating.
11:59Yeah, than my electrician.
12:00There are some recording artists who reflect history.
12:03Then there's Madonna, who defines it.
12:06Is that a real name?
12:07Actual name, Madonna Louise Ciccone.
12:10Gay.
12:11Her music, her face, her name have been part of my life and yours for over four decades.
12:18Do you know Madonna is exactly the same height as me?
12:21Yeah.
12:22And the same age.
12:24I did know that.
12:25Because you know what?
12:26Have I told you that every single birthday?
12:28You have told me that.
12:28Okay.
12:28She sold 450 million records and counting.
12:32One or two more than us, eh, Bea?
12:34Yeah.
12:36I'm so ready for this interview.
12:37Yeah.
12:37Come on.
12:38How come you keep coming back to dance music?
12:41What's so important about dance music and dance floors?
12:44Well, that's how I started.
12:45I was a dancer.
12:46I've only just sold up to being a dancer.
12:48Well, because you just didn't know what it was.
12:50Yeah.
12:51Well, yeah.
12:52And it's just like really hard things to own up to be.
12:57It just creates community.
12:59And sometimes relationships.
13:01Or dance.
13:02Oh, yeah.
13:02The dance of love.
13:04Sure.
13:06This feels weirdly awkward.
13:09It's like they've had a row.
13:10Yeah.
13:11But they're having to work through it.
13:12Yeah.
13:13Thinking back to the first Confessions album and, you know, the huge success of Hung Up.
13:17I mean, that must have been an amazing moment.
13:20It was because we didn't have any idea how brilliant it was.
13:25It's giving small talk when you first arrive at a party, isn't it?
13:29If it's a dinner party and they're going to sit you down, you're just thinking, when are we going to
13:33sit down and eat?
13:34Yes.
13:34I can eat a drink.
13:35I'm still waiting for something.
13:36Yeah, I need a bread roll.
13:37I've actually got something to show you.
13:38It's a little visual reminder of 2005 when you were here and lots of other moments.
13:44She's like, was I here?
13:52Yeah, I'm wearing the same boots in honor of that.
13:55No.
13:57Love.
13:57She's the same shoe size as she was back then.
14:00Well, period.
14:01That tends to be what happens when she's an adult woman.
14:04You lose things again, so.
14:05I do, I do.
14:06Yeah.
14:07I'd like to prove to myself that I can still fit into my clothes.
14:10I reckon I'll get in mine.
14:11I think so.
14:12Yeah, it is.
14:13I can get the legs in and I can get the arms in.
14:17So I'm halfway there.
14:18I am so looking forward to a drink.
14:20Wait, what?
14:21We haven't even had a chat.
14:23Oh, she's sitting down now.
14:24Oh, nice.
14:25This is awkward.
14:26But I'd like a drink and then we can chat.
14:27You want to use some boring?
14:29No, no.
14:30I just, we've got to pre-organize this, but there's still no drinks.
14:33Imagine making Madonna a drink.
14:34You'd be so nervous.
14:35You would.
14:36This barmaid now must be shaking.
14:38Oh, no.
14:40Kylie, no.
14:41Hello, darling.
14:42Well, fancy back.
14:43Kylie.
14:44Kylie.
14:45Kylie.
14:46What?
14:46Did you know Kylie was going to be here?
14:48Shut up.
14:49I knew what you both wanted.
14:50I pre-ordered.
14:52I mean, this is a gay man's dream.
14:54Graham is going to faint in a minute.
14:56He's going to love it.
14:57If Jane McDonnell walks in as well, that'll finish him off.
14:59It's a moment.
15:01It's a moment.
15:02It's a moment.
15:03Oh, the claw.
15:05The claw.
15:06The claw.
15:06A bit weird.
15:07I don't know what's going on.
15:09Why is Kylie there?
15:09They're just doing a big thing, haven't they?
15:10Why is Kylie Madonna?
15:12Why is Kylie say if it Madonna drinks?
15:13Well, Kylie, I don't like this drink.
15:15There we go.
15:16Don't send it back.
15:18I thought, but I'm not going to send it back.
15:19She's complaining about drinks from Kylie.
15:23You don't complain to Kylie.
15:24Okay, I've got to ask.
15:25There will all be rumors that Kylie is on Confessions 2.
15:29Oh.
15:31So you are on Confessions 2.
15:33Why do you have to know everything?
15:35She's being very secretive.
15:36It's like she's under police caution.
15:39Isn't it?
15:39It's kind of like, yes, no.
15:42No comment.
15:42No comment.
15:43You've been a long time fan.
15:46And I've been a long time fan.
15:50Maybe we're all gay.
15:52What, maybe we're all gay?
15:53Well, they're gay icons, aren't they?
15:56I've been a...
15:57You're gay, you don't get it.
16:01What?
16:03Your debut album.
16:05Ooh.
16:06My sister and I hammered that album.
16:09Love was born and it was everlasting.
16:12Wow.
16:12She just looks unimpressed at everything.
16:15Well, I don't think her face can move very much.
16:17Honestly, it might be that.
16:19I'm going to have to Google her later.
16:21Madonna?
16:22Yeah.
16:23What do you need to know?
16:24I can't actually remember what my first album I bought was.
16:28Well, I didn't buy mine.
16:30I stole them.
16:30Pin-ups by David Bowie, Unky Dora and Rod Stewart.
16:35Rod Stewart fucking everything.
16:37No, Rod Stewart with Maggie Mae on it.
16:39Fuck me.
16:39What was it called?
16:40That one.
16:41So I robbed them three from Scan 1973.
16:52In the New Forest...
16:54Do you know what I did last night?
16:55What?
16:56Watched three consecutive documentaries about stone axes.
17:00Chris and his stepdaughter, Megan.
17:03I went to see Thor the other day in a museum.
17:06Where?
17:06I went deliberately to a museum to look at Thor.
17:09Where did you go?
17:10Dublin Museum.
17:11You went to Dublin?
17:12Yeah.
17:13Yeah.
17:13Were they good?
17:15Oh, so good.
17:16I went back three times.
17:17I went back the following morning and went back and looked at them again.
17:21Could you not have just taken a picture?
17:22I did take photos.
17:23All on my phone.
17:24You could have just had a lion and looked it on your phone.
17:26I was looking at them on my phone, but then I decided I'd go back and see them again.
17:30But what did you get out of the second visit?
17:32I went straight to see the axes, and then I tried to distract myself by looking at other
17:36archaeological relics, and then I went back to the axes, then I went back to the hotel,
17:40the following morning got up, went back to the axes, and another look.
17:43But what did you achieve out of that second visit?
17:45Joy.
17:46Joy.
17:47This week, it was an Oscar-winning horror giving us the creeps on Sky.
17:52Oh, yeah, I've been waiting for this day.
17:54Bless God.
17:55How long have I told you to watch this for?
17:57Long time.
17:57Oh!
17:58I'm going to watch it how I watch every horror film.
18:00What?
18:05I'd heard of this film, Weapons.
18:07Have you?
18:08I purposely didn't watch it because it was about kids disappearing.
18:11Fucking hell.
18:12Oh!
18:13In one scene, we saw a concerned teacher trying to figure out what had happened to all the
18:19missing kids.
18:23I bet she's our amateur sleuth.
18:26She just wants to get to the bottom of it because every single person thinks it's her.
18:29Oh, everyone's blaming her.
18:30Everyone's blaming her.
18:33Hello?
18:39No one there.
18:40Why is no one answering the door?
18:41He definitely went in there, didn't he?
18:50Oh, newspaper.
18:51Why is all the windows papered up?
18:56Oh, don't go round the back.
18:58Do you like going round the back, Nigel?
19:00No, no.
19:00Not as much as you.
19:05But there's a gap.
19:06She's going to have a look.
19:09Oh, God.
19:10What's she going to see?
19:15What's in there?
19:16All the lights are off.
19:17It's so weird in that house.
19:19Do you know what?
19:19I'm getting nervous.
19:20I can feel my heart rate going up.
19:27Oh, my goodness me.
19:30Oh, what was it?
19:31What was it?
19:32They're just sat on the sofa just like this.
19:39They're not moving, bro.
19:41They're not moving.
19:42After hearing about the strange goings-on at Alex's house,
19:46the headteacher scheduled a meeting.
19:52Ooh.
19:53Who's this?
19:55Who are you?
19:55Oh, you're not strange.
19:57Principal Miller.
19:58I'm Gladys.
19:59You wouldn't fuck with her, would you?
20:01No.
20:01You wouldn't mess about with her.
20:03She looks evil.
20:04I know I've met Alice's father before.
20:07I'm Alex's aunt.
20:08Why are you there, then?
20:09So where's his parents?
20:10Yeah, they're sitting still on the sofa.
20:12A concerned individual has lodged a welfare complaint,
20:16and unfortunately, I need to make contact
20:18with the child's legal guardian.
20:19What the hell did she just look at, then?
20:21What are they?
20:22Ribbons?
20:22What are they for?
20:23But frankly, I'm not convinced that anything is wrong.
20:27Who made a complaint?
20:28See?
20:29That's too...
20:29Who made a complaint?
20:31Yeah.
20:32She is ready for war.
20:34People like that mostly live in Kent.
20:40In Chatham?
20:41Yeah.
20:41My brother lives in Kent.
20:42Well, there you are.
20:43Gee.
20:44More ants.
20:48Oh, no.
20:49Oh, no.
20:53Thank God you're home.
20:54Who is it?
20:55She's a bit out of breath.
20:56What?
20:56She telepates the house?
20:57Could I please have some water?
20:59No.
21:00No.
21:00Sorry.
21:01Let her in.
21:01No.
21:02Dehydrate for all I care.
21:03Go away.
21:04I'm afraid that's right.
21:05Of course.
21:06You can have some water.
21:07Oh, thank you so much.
21:09I'm afraid it's really not.
21:09No.
21:10What are you talking about?
21:12This woman is not to be trusted.
21:14She is up to no good, my guy.
21:16Oh.
21:17I absolutely love this house.
21:20Look.
21:20A giraffe in a green Chinese...
21:22That's original in there.
21:24I bet it is.
21:24She's recovered quickly, hasn't she?
21:26She's now a perky.
21:27Yeah.
21:28The moment she perked up, I'm grabbing her by the fringe and dragging her straight back out.
21:31Oh.
21:32Oh.
21:33Marcus, get her a glass.
21:35Why is he buying that as a real cough?
21:40Marcus, get her a glass.
21:42What?
21:42A bowl, please.
21:44Huh?
21:45A bowl?
21:46There's not a single thing she does.
21:47It's normal.
21:48No.
21:48It's a peculiarity of mine.
21:50I don't even try to rationalise it anymore.
21:55Fair enough.
21:56That's fine.
21:56You've got a few of those.
21:57Gladys, I'm really going to have to insist that you work.
22:02What's that?
22:03What is she doing?
22:04Is that my ribbon?
22:06Oh, the ribbons from the office that she was looking at?
22:09Why's she got those?
22:11She's going to do...
22:11She's like a witch.
22:12She's going to do some spell of some kind.
22:14What is this?
22:18Oh, my God!
22:19Oh, my...
22:21What's she doing?
22:22Could you get me a rag, sweetie?
22:27Scissors.
22:27Big scissors.
22:28Here we go, Nigel.
22:29I know, I'm ready.
22:30Buckle up.
22:32Ah!
22:32She cut his hair.
22:33She cut his hair?
22:34Call 999.
22:36911.
22:36911.
22:37911.
22:39Marcus.
22:40And that's his hair.
22:41That's his hair.
22:42What's about to happen to you?
22:45Should I snap the twig?
22:47No.
22:47Don't snap the stick.
22:48I mean, I don't know what's going to happen, but please don't snap the stick.
22:52Oh, no.
22:53Oh!
22:55He's possessed.
22:58This is weird.
22:59Oh, his poor partner.
23:00Well, that's gay marriage for you.
23:06Oh, Jesus Christ!
23:08Fucking hell.
23:09No!
23:10What is that?
23:11Oh, I don't fucking know!
23:14Oh, he just nutted him.
23:16He's going to headbutt him to death.
23:20Whose hair is this now?
23:22Someone else's hair.
23:23Whose hair is that?
23:24It's the teacher.
23:29He's going to get the teacher.
23:31No!
23:32No!
23:33Oh, it's the weapon.
23:33Oh, my God, that's why it's called weapons.
23:35She makes some weapons.
23:37That's why it's called weapons.
23:38That's why they're called weapon.
23:39That's it.
23:40I need a break.
23:41Best film of the year.
23:42I need a break.
23:43No!
23:43I'm getting a drink.
23:44Do you want anything?
23:46Just a water, please.
23:48Okay.
23:49In a bowl.
23:50Shut up.
23:54There's a bowl of water on the side.
23:56There's a bowl of water on the side.
24:09What's a nightmare at this time of year is picnics, because the dogs, so they don't get like, oh, that's
24:16a picnic for somebody else.
24:18They think, oh, someone's put some coleslaw at my level.
24:22Nick and his niece, Liv.
24:25I also, in this weather, got air conditioning, bought an air conditioning unit, like, basically for the dogs.
24:32So it's, like, quite cool for them.
24:35Keep finding them set outside on sun loungers.
24:37I'm like, get inside!
24:38You're going to die.
24:40On Sunday night, there were more misbehaving mutts on Channel 5.
24:44I watch it just to see how good my dog is, because I think, actually, she doesn't do that.
24:52My dog's pretty great.
24:53That's actually quite nice in the heat wave.
24:55Oh, yeah, this is nice.
24:56I want these two dogs on me.
24:57Do you know what?
24:58I can't even have this on sometimes, because it sets my dogs off as soon as I hear the dogs
25:02on this.
25:03So your dogs behave badly?
25:04Because they're watching dogs behaving badly.
25:09I don't think there's such a thing as a bad dog.
25:11I just think it's a bad owner.
25:13100%.
25:13I love this.
25:14Yeah.
25:15Dogs behaving badly.
25:17That's like me and you.
25:19Well, yeah, we're dogs and we behave badly.
25:23Graham's next case takes him to the Garden of England, Kent, famous for its oysters and iconic wines.
25:32And criminals.
25:32It's home to some seriously discerning diners.
25:36Come and eat some tindins.
25:37Oh, look.
25:38Oh, we've got a fussy eater.
25:40Is it mine?
25:41You want a bit?
25:42This is Nancy.
25:43Cockapoo Roman lives with his head chef.
25:46No.
25:48No.
25:48Social worker Stephanie.
25:50This is ridiculous.
25:51I've never seen my dogs not eat their dinner in under five seconds.
25:55When I put Roman's food down on the floor, he will look at it, he will smell it, but he
26:01will refuse to eat it.
26:02I was always told eventually when the dog's hungry, it will eat.
26:06Yeah, but they say that about kids as well and it's not true, is it?
26:09Because Roman knows something is missing.
26:14He likes his cheese.
26:15Cheese.
26:17Oh, my God.
26:18It's basically my husband.
26:20He would put cheese on his cornflakes if he could.
26:24Cheese on everything.
26:25And I'll warm it up.
26:27Oh, my God.
26:28She warms it as well.
26:29I'm sorry.
26:30He likes it very Mountie.
26:33Does he?
26:34Does he now?
26:34Me too, Roman.
26:36But he turned his nose up if he's not melted enough.
26:38Oh, come on.
26:41I wouldn't feed my dog that, literally.
26:43And, of course, no fine dining experience would be complete.
26:48Ready.
26:49Steady.
26:50Go.
26:50Without exemplary service.
26:52What?
26:53What?
26:54Well, you know what?
26:55What she's done, she's turned it into a game with him.
26:58Just to get him to eat, I'll take it out of my hand like this.
27:01Oh, my God.
27:02What's she doing?
27:03And just roll it into a ball.
27:05She has to disguise the food as a ball.
27:07Making sure he eats a whole pack of food can take up to six hours of my time.
27:11Six hours?
27:12Oh, my goodness.
27:13I wish I took six hours and a lot of exercise to eat food.
27:18Hey, this could be the solution for me.
27:23I need to have...
27:25It's a new fad diet.
27:26It's a new fad diet.
27:27Then I need to run after a ball.
27:28You have to get a social worker to roll it into a little ball for you and chase you around
27:32the garden.
27:33Yeah, I do.
27:34Steph's been performing this food theatre...
27:37Blimey.
27:38...for the last three years.
27:40Three years has she's been doing this?
27:42I actually saw him eating out of a bowl at his daycare centre.
27:47There's no nonsense happening at daycare.
27:50Roman's taking the piss.
27:52Yeah.
27:52Look at that.
27:53He's eating out of a bowl.
27:55Oh, Roman.
27:56Roman, you little naughty boy.
27:58So the dog is a liar.
28:03Graham wants to introduce a set mealtime.
28:06Done.
28:07I see it.
28:07Yeah, five o'clock is when the dogs get fed and they know.
28:11If he chooses not to tuck in during his allocated sitting, his dish will be returned to the kitchen.
28:16And it'll stay there till it's there, even if it's there a month later.
28:21All we're going to do is give him everything.
28:23If he doesn't have it, we'll take it up.
28:26It's not going to stay there forever.
28:28I might take it away and make him think of the urgency.
28:31He might be thinking, oh, thanks fuck I haven't got to play that game for six hours.
28:36Look, he's going towards his farm.
28:39Oh, my God.
28:40He's eating.
28:42He's going to do it.
28:43Could the tables have turned?
28:45OK, he's going away.
28:46He's not having it.
28:47There's no cheese on me tea.
28:49They make countless attempts.
28:52You going to have some dindings?
28:54Come on, Ray.
28:55But Roman refuses to take a single bite.
28:58It's probably quite hard to break the habit of the weird lasagna bowl game.
29:03Well, I'm a bit disappointed because I was hoping at one stage that we were going to see a minor
29:07miracle, but not today.
29:10Roman beat Graham.
29:11He's not the dog man he says he is.
29:14Well, it's amazing what you can make TV out of, isn't it?
29:17It is.
29:18The dog eating its dinner.
29:20Oh, sorry, I was eating this without running around the garden.
29:25Shall I throw it for you?
29:26Come on.
29:27Come on, Mummy.
29:29Come on.
29:35You've crossed your legs like Princess Diana.
29:37No, they don't cross their legs like that.
29:40You have to put the...
29:41Yeah, the royals.
29:42The royals?
29:43Yeah.
29:43Friends Mark and Kelly.
29:45What, like that?
29:46Yeah, that's what you have to do.
29:47But then your upper body has to be...
29:50But you can do that.
29:52You can do that.
29:52I can't.
29:53I can't with my back.
29:54Bend your knees a bit more.
29:56Which way have you gone?
29:57Hang on.
29:57Let me go the same way as you.
29:58Right.
29:59Right.
29:59And then like that.
30:01But raise your knees a bit.
30:03I can't.
30:03My body doesn't do that.
30:05But your legs are the wrong way.
30:07Put your bottom leg over there.
30:09My legs aren't the wrong way.
30:10Put your bottom leg this way.
30:12Right.
30:13And that one over.
30:14And then sit...
30:15What's wrong with you?
30:16This week, we were back at Clarkson's Gaff on Prime Video.
30:21Who'd have thunk it after all these years?
30:23Mm-hmm.
30:24Never thought I'd be a Jeremy Clarkson fan.
30:26You love a farm.
30:27I love a farm.
30:28I love a farmer.
30:30I'm farming stock.
30:35Already, right, that's not what a farm looks like.
30:38No.
30:38Most farms are horrible monocultures which have been sprayed with deadly chemicals time and time again.
30:43The ground pumped full of fertiliser and loads of the animals are indoors, in crates, being crushed and kept in
30:50the dark.
30:50That's an idealistic view of a farm and it puts the wrong idea in people's minds.
30:56That's only the titles.
30:57Oh, God, I'm kidding.
30:58What's my blood pressure?
30:59In the programme, Jeremy was up at the crack of dawn to meet bird enthusiast Hannah.
31:04I know loads of people across the country come to Deadly Squat, but this guy has travelled 8,000 miles.
31:12How does she know this?
31:13She doesn't look like a birdwatcher.
31:14What does a birdwatcher look like?
31:16I don't know.
31:17She's wearing my glasses.
31:21What is he?
31:22A garden warbler.
31:26I love enthusiastic people.
31:29She's getting excited over a bird, yeah?
31:30Yeah.
31:31Yeah.
31:31Just double checking.
31:33What's this?
31:33Is this your list of things you've heard?
31:35Yes.
31:36Oh, that's a wren.
31:36She's got a bird spreadsheet.
31:38Yeah, exactly.
31:39I love that.
31:40Me too.
31:40You know you can get an app, don't you?
31:41What?
31:42You can get an app, which you just start going.
31:45It listens.
31:47And it tells you what the bird is?
31:48It tells you all the birds that are currently singing.
31:50I know, though.
31:51Ha.
31:52My Merlin bird app.
31:53There it is.
31:54There it is.
31:54Merlin bird app.
31:55That's the one.
31:55I mean, I was quite lucky because I did have my own Merlin bird app growing up.
31:59Yes.
32:00Yes.
32:00In you.
32:01Listen, listen, listen.
32:02Can you hear the lorry reversing?
32:05It's a bird, but it sounds like a lorry reversing.
32:10That?
32:11Yeah.
32:11That's a greater white throat.
32:13Oh, greater white throat.
32:15She's quicker than the app, basically.
32:17Oh, my God.
32:17She's incredible.
32:18She's like a sommelier, but of birds.
32:21Well, yes.
32:23Like she's a bird sommelier.
32:25Do you do it when you're just walking along and you're constantly tuned into?
32:29Oh, look.
32:29Skylucks.
32:31Well, I can't see any.
32:33Yeah.
32:34I love that.
32:35Skylucks.
32:35He's like, shut up.
32:37Yeah.
32:38God, would you love to say that to Jeremy Clarkson?
32:40Yes.
32:40Shut up.
32:41Shut up.
32:42Skylucks.
32:42Skylucks.
32:44So, this is ryegrass.
32:45This was part of the scheme.
32:47Caleb's, look, he's been along and he's making silage.
32:50Oh, fuck.
32:51What's happened?
32:52Oh, that's bloody awful.
32:54So, I might vomit in your car.
32:56Oh, no, it's killed birds.
32:57There's a very good chance if you silage too soon, you kill all the chicks.
33:02Oh, fuck.
33:03Oh, no.
33:05Oh, no.
33:05All the chicks.
33:06Oh, he's killed all the chicks.
33:09Imagine if you were maybe Skyluck with that coming towards you.
33:12What, Caleb?
33:13Yeah.
33:14Fucking Caleb.
33:15Oh, fuck, Caleb's going to get it now.
33:18He doesn't know what it's in for.
33:19Hannah, this is Caleb.
33:21Hannah, lovely to meet you.
33:22Hello.
33:23Oh, tense.
33:24Yeah.
33:24Lovely to meet you.
33:25You're about to spoil my harvest.
33:27You want to go out there literally now?
33:29Yeah.
33:30And cut it.
33:30And you say if he goes out there now, he is going to decapitate.
33:3524 chicks.
33:36We're going to be short on cow food.
33:37We're already short now.
33:38We might have to start feeding our winter resources now.
33:41This is quite brutal.
33:42It's the cows versus the chicks.
33:44Yeah, it's hard, isn't it?
33:45It's the balance between profit and wildlife.
33:49Well, it's got to be wildlife, surely.
33:52So, I've got to make a decision.
33:54Jeremy's in a bit of a pickle, isn't he, here?
33:56He's got to make the right decision here.
33:58Come on, Jeremy.
33:58Otherwise, I'm driving to wherever that place is, you know.
34:04I don't know what I'm going to do when I get there,
34:06but I will be arriving in an electric vehicle.
34:17In Manchester...
34:18Well, you know what?
34:18What?
34:19I've never had A-fever in my life before.
34:21Thankfully, you've given me some tablets there.
34:23I thought I was going to die with A-fever.
34:26Aye, Colin, then, innit?
34:27Yeah, I've never had it before.
34:30Sean and Bez.
34:31It's amazing what a placebo effect does, innit?
34:35Well, you know what?
34:36I'm already better placebo-ing.
34:38Placebo-ed up.
34:38I've got one of your tablets and I'm placebo-ing away.
34:42I already feel better.
34:44But they do.
34:44They like antibiotics.
34:46And they said antipsychotics.
34:48Antibiotics, they take about...
34:49Well, we could do with some antipsychotics as well.
34:52Well, I've got some of them if you want some of them.
34:53Yeah, I've got some of them as well, don't they?
34:55Yeah.
34:57Antipsychotics and antibiotics.
34:58They've got a pill for everything these days.
35:00I've got a pill.
35:01I've got a pill for everything.
35:05This week, we got a dose of blue light action on Channel 5.
35:10I thought I was having a heart attack once.
35:12Did you?
35:12And my husband called an ambulance.
35:15How did you feel?
35:16How did you know?
35:16Oh, I was in terrible pain.
35:18And a tight, you know, they speak to you on the phone.
35:21I had all the symptoms.
35:22And then the ambulance came round.
35:25Do you know what it was?
35:25What?
35:26Trapped wind.
35:27Was it really?
35:27Do you remember when we went to hospital
35:29because you were putting beads in my hair
35:30and I put one of the beads up my nose?
35:32Yeah.
35:33Didn't you go to the hospital when I put a book on your head as well?
35:36I think we managed to get that off with the garden shears.
35:39Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
35:42Ambulance, cold red.
35:43I'm already cringing.
35:44I'm not good with blood.
35:45You like those sort of things.
35:47Sometimes, but I don't really like seeing people ill,
35:50so this isn't going to be...
35:52I don't like...
35:52...right up my crack, is it?
35:54No.
35:57Shazam!
35:58No, Chesham!
36:00OK.
36:00Where's Chesham?
36:01Don't know.
36:02Deathsaf.
36:03Deathsaf.
36:06Yes, the patient's breathing.
36:07The patient's breathing?
36:09Well, that's a good sign.
36:10I have a gentleman here who seems to have trips.
36:13Ouch, you're running.
36:13I think he's broken his ankle.
36:16It's a bit low-key, that, isn't it?
36:17Yeah, I mean, it's...
36:18Are you not happy with the...
36:19Are you not happy with the level of drama?
36:22Do you know how I broke my arm?
36:24No.
36:24Getting a wasp out the window.
36:26No.
36:26I fell off the chair.
36:28Oh, God.
36:29He's in a very awkward position.
36:32That ankle seems to be, like, very bent over.
36:35No.
36:36It's always funny.
36:37I'm imagining it, and it's already bad.
36:39It's just in, like, a right-angled position, but his knee's up.
36:43Up where?
36:43Knees up, but right angle.
36:45Oh, like that.
36:46Oh!
36:46Wait, so if he's like that, it's, like, facing outwards.
36:50So, what happened?
36:51How did you fall?
36:52Oh, here we go.
36:53What happened?
36:53How did you fall?
36:54We're at a wedding.
36:55He's very drunk.
36:56It's very dark, and he tripped over at the park.
36:59Oh!
37:00Here we go.
37:01Free bar.
37:02No-one's paying for a drink at that wedding.
37:04I think there's a blanket.
37:06Tim and Matt are the first to arrive at the hotel,
37:08where the patient is still in the garden where he fell.
37:11Oh, man.
37:12Let's see this.
37:13I'm Matt.
37:14This is Tim.
37:15What can we call you, sir?
37:17Robin.
37:17Oh, no.
37:19Oh, Robin.
37:20Do you remember falling, Robin?
37:21Not really, no.
37:23I don't remember.
37:24A hell of a few sherbets.
37:25Don't be safe.
37:26That's his judge you are.
37:26Too many beers again.
37:28Tell him about this.
37:30Oh, I can't watch this.
37:31I don't want to see the ankle.
37:32I'm desperate to see the ankle.
37:34Do you remember falling?
37:36Ah!
37:37I don't want this.
37:38Ah!
37:38No!
37:39No!
37:40Tell me when it's gone.
37:41Tell me when it's gone.
37:42No, no, it's still there, but there's a bone.
37:44OK, I'm going to describe it.
37:45He's got a loafer on.
37:48Don't need to know what shoes he's wearing!
37:50I've got to tell you, he's got a loafer on, and the loaf is pointing downward.
37:53We've not got any significant critical skin, but it definitely is.
37:57Oh, my God!
37:58Oh, yeah, that's badly broken there, isn't it?
37:59It's definitely broken, Ritchie.
38:01Oh!
38:02It's not how an ankle should be.
38:04You need to be careful when you're stumbling around gardens later.
38:07That could happen to you, Nigel, with your brittle bones.
38:13Tim will be giving Robin ketamine.
38:15We know this joke.
38:16It's all right, this one.
38:17It's going to be happy.
38:18It's not all right.
38:20It's not all right.
38:21What, you're giving him ketamine?
38:22You're fucking mad!
38:25I don't like ketamine.
38:26Yeah, yeah.
38:27It's going to be off his head.
38:28So, you're just nice deep breaths.
38:31We're with you.
38:32You're safe.
38:33This is all happening outside on the floor.
38:35I know.
38:35He's going to think that head torch is a glow stick.
38:41Where am I?
38:42Am I in Ibiza?
38:44No, Robin, you're in Chesham.
38:45If you're having sort of hallucination-y type feelings,
38:48all of that's normal with this medicine.
38:51If I've got three heads had on purple, don't panic.
38:54It's all right.
38:55You're just hallucinating, Robin, okay?
38:56Just enjoy it.
38:58Just enjoy it, Robin.
39:00I'm now going to take your snapped in half leg, okay, Robin?
39:03Is that all right, Robin?
39:04Lovely, Robin.
39:05Enjoy, Robin.
39:06Are you happy if I start getting the straight?
39:08Oh, you don't want to look now.
39:09We've lost the verbal contact.
39:11So, I'm going to lift the whole leg up.
39:13Jesus Christ, I can't watch them do this.
39:16No, don't, don't.
39:17No, no.
39:19Oh!
39:21Oh!
39:24Oh!
39:25Oh!
39:25With Robin fully sedated,
39:27Matt can begin the process of realigning the bones in his leg,
39:30helped by one of the hotel staff.
39:32Hotel staff?
39:33Yeah, get any...
39:33Anyone else want to have a car?
39:35What?!
39:35She's obviously done the first aid course, the hotel staff.
39:38Yeah, yeah, she's a first aider.
39:40You're doing well there, Robin.
39:41So, they're just straightening out that broken leg for you now, mate.
39:44Right, so they've taken his socks off.
39:46He's got a nice feet.
39:46It looks like it's all going beautifully down there.
39:49Look at that.
39:50It's straightened out.
39:51Beautifully.
39:51It's got nice legs, hasn't it?
39:53It's got nice legs, hasn't it?
39:54With this hand, I want you to pull it here.
39:55Yeah.
39:56Be careful not to flex it.
39:57Why is she doing it?
39:59Yeah.
40:00Where's his mate gone?
40:02Robin's leg is straight, the skin is intact, and it's been successfully splinted for the
40:07trip to hospital.
40:08Smashed it, lads.
40:09That's the job well done, that.
40:11I cannot believe that they just did that in a car park.
40:14I'm not sure how much you remember of the last hour or so, but ankles in a splint looks
40:20good.
40:21You're fixed, Robin.
40:23The main thing now is to get you as comfortable as we can to get you off to hospital.
40:28Whatever.
40:31I'll have a vodka and coke, please, and let's get on with it.
40:34Whatever.
40:34They've just got, like, life-saving amendments to his leg.
40:38Whatever.
40:39Whatever.
40:40Have you got Robin Esh?
40:40Show me love.
40:41Thanks.
40:42Great.
40:45In North London...
40:47Are you all right?
40:48What's happened with your voice?
40:49I think I sound a bit sexy.
40:51You've got a touch of the Mariella Frost drops.
40:53She's a very attractive, intelligent woman.
40:55That's what it is.
40:56Best mates Sarah and Claire.
40:59What have you been doing now?
41:00Have you been out and shouting?
41:02No.
41:02I stuck a fan in my face when it was dead hot.
41:05You stuck a what in your face?
41:06A fan.
41:06A fan.
41:07A fan.
41:09So...
41:10Well, I'm very open-minded.
41:12You're very modern.
41:14So you put a fan in your face?
41:16Yeah.
41:17How long for?
41:18All night.
41:18I think I slept with my mouth open.
41:22Just drying off your innards.
41:25On Friday, ITV filled our morning with another cheery mix of this and that.
41:31But do you know what I am?
41:32What are you?
41:33Someone called me to have a nice skinny fat.
41:34Oh, I hope you fucking give him a clip.
41:37No, I've got a muffin top and tits.
41:39I've actually been going to bed with a cold flannel.
41:41Yeah, I've been doing cold flannel.
41:42Mm.
41:43I've also been doing a sheet.
41:44But like, how I imagine Jesus Christ might have gone to bed.
41:48Like, just like a loincloth.
41:50Mm.
41:55Love you, love you, love you, love you.
41:57Dermot's too early, mate.
41:58Relax.
41:59Horizontal stripes, Dermot.
42:00Not for everyone.
42:01To complete the week, John Sherrod's in the kitchen today with the perfect picnic sandwich.
42:06No, you know, I don't... Do you like a picnic?
42:08Can't be bothered.
42:09Yes, it looks like a Christmas pudding, but actually inside there is going to be a sandwich
42:12and I'll show you how to make a picnic sandwich.
42:14That looks like something you could put through someone's window if you threw it at it.
42:17It's not about a sandwich.
42:19You take that with you on your picnic and you know that you've got something delicious inside.
42:22I haven't got room for anything else, John.
42:24What you're going to do is take a round loaf of bread.
42:26Can we have a look at this?
42:27This is called a muffaletta.
42:28A muffal what?
42:29A muffin letter.
42:30A muffin, who?
42:30You go around the outside, then you get a nice little round top.
42:33Buffalo gals.
42:34So that's your...
42:34Your top comes off.
42:35Look at that.
42:37That's scalping.
42:37If he takes all the bread out of this, I'm going to turn it off.
42:40I think that's what he does do.
42:41So you're going to take out quite a lot of your bread.
42:44That's the best bit.
42:45I'm going to take some of that bread that's in here.
42:48I can't watch him dig it out and then expect me to eat it.
42:52Oh, do you want a sandwich?
42:54No, I'm all right, thank you.
42:56So I've got some green olives here which have been filled,
42:58because we want it to be nice and colourful inside our sandwich.
43:00What is this man doing?
43:02This is a very olive-y sandwich.
43:05Yeah.
43:05Some vinegar.
43:08Parsley.
43:08Parsley.
43:09And olive oil.
43:10I'm going to be honest.
43:11Oh my gosh.
43:11I think of the, you know, six ingredients so far, the only one I like is bread.
43:17We've got olives and parsley and bread.
43:19I cannot stand olives.
43:21It's going to be interesting to see how that is actually a sandwich.
43:24Yeah.
43:24Rather than a bowl full of olives.
43:26Some prosciutto.
43:27Okay.
43:28Salami.
43:28Some artichokes.
43:30Some olives.
43:31Did he say olives again?
43:32Yeah, black olives.
43:33Oh, for f... sake.
43:35Some peppers and then some mozzarella as well.
43:37So all this stuff goes together like a big pizza.
43:40This isn't my perfect picnic sandwich, is it yours?
43:42No, it really isn't my perfect picnic sandwich.
43:45If I'm going to put it out there, this is pissing me off.
43:47You make these overnight, so the next day when you go on a picnic,
43:50you've got no preparation to do.
43:52My God, I've got to make it the day before I'm going on a picnic.
43:55I don't have time for all this of an evening.
43:57I'm busy watching Love Island.
44:00Sliced cheese.
44:01So sliced cheese in there.
44:03But it's not a sandwich.
44:04It's a bucket.
44:05A bread.
44:07It does look a bit like when you look into the bin and it's all you're left of.
44:11Add to that now some black olives.
44:14He's got more olives in there.
44:15When will it end?
44:16When will it end?
44:17I don't know.
44:18So many layers.
44:19Put the lid back on.
44:20Under there.
44:21And now what do I do with it?
44:22You wait it.
44:23Just before you put it in the fridge, if you just want to...
44:25Get it!
44:27All in!
44:29John!
44:29Push it all down and wrap the whole thing in a tea towel,
44:32and then put that in your fridge overnight.
44:34Oh.
44:35Go fuck yourself.
44:37I don't think so, do you?
44:39Instead of having all your picky bits on plastic containers and trays
44:42and all that sort of stuff in your picnic basket...
44:44You know, the way it's nice.
44:46You've got this, and it's really impressive,
44:48because you open it up and you go,
44:49well, look what I bought, guys, to our perfect picnic.
44:53Who invited John, is what they'll say.
44:57Amazing sandwich.
44:58Oh!
44:58Oh!
45:00Do you know what?
45:01I'm convinced.
45:02Fair play.
45:03Fair play.
45:04Well, I'm going to say I'm back in the room.
45:06I am back in the room.
45:08I'm intrigued how you get your my friend out there.
45:10Well, you don't, you're not supposed to get your mouth out.
45:12How should you do it?
45:13How are you meant to eat it if you're not supposed to get your mouth round it?
45:15She's just asked the most important question.
45:17Go on, go on, I want to see it happen.
45:18Should you slice it and then eat knife and fork?
45:20What I do, is I do like that.
45:22Don't say you take it apart, John.
45:24And then you can actually just choose the bits you want.
45:27Oh!
45:28It's fallen over.
45:29Oh, no.
45:30That's not a sandwich.
45:32It's not, is it?
45:32It's a shambles.
45:34It's a...
45:34You've put it all together, and then you get to the picnic,
45:38and then you take it all apart.
45:40Do you know what?
45:40If I was John Tyrone, I'd come off this section,
45:42and I'd be throwing it.
45:43I'd be going, do you know what?
45:44You don't deserve my muffaletta.
45:45That's what I would say if I was John Tyrone.
45:47And I'd say, do you know what, Kelly?
45:47I don't want your muffaletta.
45:49What a waste of time.
45:50I'd say, Mark, you're never getting anywhere near my muffaletta.
45:54I don't want to be anywhere near your muffaletta.
45:58Stupid idea.
45:59Especially if it's got an olive in it.
46:08Simon Peggs in a behind-the-scenes battleground
46:11where every move is critical.
46:13An election is under attack in thrilling drama
46:15The Undeclared War.
46:16Stream now ahead of a new series coming soon.
46:18And here for the game changers,
46:20dive into This Is England, Skins, It's A Sin,
46:22and lots more iconic drama on Channel 4, streaming now.
46:26Next, Susie Dent's got AI comebacks ready for Cats Countdown.
46:30It's a very good way to pull this out.
46:30Uhm, estamos覧摘ing on aollumuve.
46:33during the culmination.
46:34Cause we've done it.
46:34So I'm hopeful.
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