- 1 hour ago
When Jason finds out his marriage may be falling apart before it starts, he sets out on a journey to find out what kind of a boyfriend he's been from his ex's. HD ( Comedy )
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:06it's better it lacks excitement you still don't like it this is a big presentation
00:00:17maybe i've heard it too many times i need the board to be 100 in
00:00:21if they don't approve the next round of funding and next month's meeting
00:00:25there won't be an a7 we can't keep flying the a6 you don't have to convince me
00:00:32but if you don't convince them two of us won't be here at the end of the year
00:00:39we'll still be here oh punch it up
00:00:52punch it up yeah
00:00:58so what tonight oh i'm dinner at seven then i'm gonna do it
00:01:10have you have you thought about maybe just waiting until we wrap up on this a7 deal what happens
00:01:19if you get fired before the wedding you think we won't get the deal no we will we will yeah
00:01:26we'll get
00:01:27it i just don't i worry too much go have a fantastic night and text me if you get the
00:01:36chance
00:01:39you're such a great friend we make a great team i'll text you
00:01:51yeah he'll text you
00:02:00melissa over the last two years you've changed my life
00:02:05you've made me a better man and showed me what real love is
00:02:11we've created so many lasting memories
00:02:16from cancun to canada i can't imagine having done it with anyone else
00:02:22i know we're still young but if there's one thing i'm sure of i love you
00:02:40will you make me the happiest man in the world and marry me
00:02:44i know i can't imagine having to know what the best man is
00:03:13and i'm sure i'm sure you've got into the world and i'm sure i'm sure i'm sure i'm not
00:03:14We'd be on Mari. Jason, you are not the father.
00:03:19Kyle and I only have anal sex.
00:03:22What? You told me you didn't.
00:03:26Just not with you.
00:03:30The first time you went there, you were touching it with your thumbs like it was a PlayStation button.
00:03:37Either go in or get out.
00:03:42A little navigation would have been nice.
00:03:56Oh, I'm sorry, bro.
00:04:00I didn't know you and Mel were serious.
00:04:04Maybe it's best you go and let Jason and I talk.
00:04:08Oh, yeah, no problem.
00:04:11No hard feelings, bro?
00:04:12Yes, hard feelings, bro.
00:04:14Ah, it's too bad, man.
00:04:20Ah.
00:04:27What was that, Mel?
00:04:34Jason, we need to talk.
00:04:40It's not you.
00:04:42It's me.
00:04:44So do you just have anal with him or was that just today?
00:04:48If we can't just talk, then you need to leave.
00:04:51Fine.
00:04:52Fine.
00:04:55Okay, wait.
00:04:57Let's talk.
00:05:00You should have called before you came over.
00:05:03We had dinner plans at...
00:05:06Now.
00:05:09You're right.
00:05:10I should have told you months ago.
00:05:13You've been sleeping with him for months?
00:05:16No.
00:05:17Kyle has just been a few times.
00:05:20Oh.
00:05:22Okay.
00:05:23I can get past that.
00:05:27But there's been a few others.
00:05:31A few?
00:05:33Two.
00:05:34Two.
00:05:36No.
00:05:37Two is two.
00:05:39A few is two or more.
00:05:45Look, it's not about how many.
00:05:47It's about you and me.
00:05:52The last two years have been...
00:05:57What I'm trying to say is...
00:05:59Wait.
00:06:01I have something to say.
00:06:07Melissa.
00:06:10Over the last two years, you have changed my life.
00:06:15You've made me a better man and helped focus the direction of my life.
00:06:19Jason!
00:06:23It's over.
00:06:46I can't believe...
00:06:55Lois.
00:07:08I never liked her.
00:07:10You're just saying that because she doesn't like you.
00:07:14She doesn't like me?
00:07:21I miss her.
00:07:25Don't be a loser.
00:07:28I need to get her back.
00:07:29You need revenge sex.
00:07:31Nothing helps a breakup better.
00:07:34It's clinically proven.
00:07:35Will you stop that?
00:07:37I'm not going to sleep with someone else.
00:07:39Melissa is.
00:07:41Probably right now.
00:07:45Don't you have to be somewhere?
00:07:49Better with you
00:07:53When you had sex with Kyle in your butthole
00:08:20Do you have another brand?
00:08:22You're more than welcome to buy your own
00:08:25I like these
00:08:34Beer, this is not a beer, it's a girl's drink
00:08:52You're up early
00:08:57Is this all you got?
00:08:59You're free
00:09:02Last night I met these two girls on my last delivery
00:09:06They invited me in and we totally got stoned
00:09:10I'm going back tonight, come with me
00:09:15I'm good
00:09:16But you gotta get out there
00:09:21Okay
00:09:42Hi V
00:09:44Hi V
00:09:45Hey
00:09:46Are you avoiding me?
00:09:49No
00:09:51I just
00:09:52I didn't get much sleep
00:09:57Yeah, well
00:09:58You look like shit
00:10:01Thank you
00:10:05Are you sick?
00:10:09It's a long story
00:10:12Oh
00:10:13Well
00:10:14When you want something you really commit
00:10:18What are you gonna do now?
00:10:23I don't know
00:10:26You're a girl
00:10:27You're a girl
00:10:28How do I get her back?
00:10:29You want her back?
00:10:32Weren't you listening?
00:10:37So you go to propose and you catch her having sex with another guy
00:10:45Anal
00:10:46In some countries that's not considered sex
00:10:51Then you find out that she's been cheating on you with a whole bunch of other guys
00:10:55Well not a bunch
00:10:56A few
00:10:59Possibly more than two
00:11:03But she said that it was over
00:11:08Why are you focusing on all the negatives?
00:11:13How did you get this fucked up?
00:11:19I thought you were here to help
00:11:22I am
00:11:24I am
00:11:30You know what?
00:11:31I think you should go take a shower
00:11:34Because the look and the smell is a bit much
00:11:39That's a start
00:11:43So you're telling me
00:11:44In two years
00:11:46She never once said
00:11:47Don't
00:11:48Do this
00:11:50Or I don't like that
00:11:54She did say that I treat her butthole like a Playstation pudding
00:11:58What?
00:12:02You know it doesn't matter
00:12:08You know in most relationships
00:12:09A couple of months go by
00:12:11Problems arise
00:12:13You just deal with them
00:12:16Never happened
00:12:26How many girlfriends have you had?
00:12:29Like real relationships
00:12:30Ones that have lasted longer than three months
00:12:35Four
00:12:37Or five
00:12:40And Melissa she's the longest
00:12:45Four or five
00:12:47It's a doable number
00:12:51You know what I think you should do?
00:12:54I think you should go to them and ask them how you messed up
00:12:59How I messed it up?
00:13:01Yeah, like um
00:13:03Get their opinion
00:13:05On you and the relationship
00:13:07You'll find out what happened
00:13:09You know like um
00:13:12Were you bad in bed?
00:13:15Or did you have bad breath?
00:13:18Or did you snore in your sleep?
00:13:19Or dress funny?
00:13:20Or did the parents hate you?
00:13:23Just ask them questions
00:13:25It might
00:13:27Might give you an answer as to why Melissa dumped you
00:13:30You want me to
00:13:32Ask all my exes
00:13:34Why I'm a bad boyfriend?
00:13:36Yes
00:13:39I don't see how this is helping
00:13:41It's helping
00:13:44Drink up
00:13:45We are on the verge of a breakthrough
00:13:53Oh my god
00:13:55Oh my god
00:13:57Oh my god
00:14:15Dude
00:14:17Thank you for not coming with me
00:14:21What happened to you?
00:14:24Major hangover
00:14:26Anyways
00:14:27Last night I went back to those two girls house
00:14:30At first we were just sitting and talking
00:14:32I was bored as shit
00:14:33I was about to leave
00:14:35Then they started kissing right in front of me
00:14:39Right?
00:14:39No bullshit
00:14:41Then they look at me and they go
00:14:43Do you wanna join?
00:14:45Like that's a question?
00:14:48My first
00:14:49Three way
00:14:52You're serious
00:14:53Four boobs and two vaginas is a lot of responsibility
00:14:56You gotta
00:14:59Multitask
00:15:01I'm glad it went well
00:15:04I'm going back to sleep
00:15:10Hey
00:15:11I'm sorry you had to get drunk alone
00:15:15I didn't
00:15:16Veronica came over
00:15:18Banger?
00:15:19We're just friends
00:15:23Should've
00:15:47I thought I might see you today
00:15:50What happened last night?
00:15:53You don't remember?
00:15:58And I thought this was a good idea
00:16:01Check your phone, it's in notes
00:16:05We managed to track down all of your exes
00:16:08We found out where they live
00:16:10where they work. You even went as far as mapping out an order.
00:16:14There should be a link at the bottom.
00:16:19I don't remember any of this.
00:16:23So you don't remember
00:16:25having sex with me?
00:16:30Did we?
00:16:34No. No we didn't.
00:16:39This is going to take a week. Four days.
00:16:42You already texted Tom and got the days off.
00:16:44What?
00:16:48I'm going today?
00:16:51Why wait?
00:16:52Just go and talk to them
00:16:54and then give me a call and tell me what they said.
00:16:56You're going to need a female translator.
00:17:00This is crazy.
00:17:01No, this is necessary.
00:17:05Come on, just go home and pack.
00:17:07This is going to be good for you.
00:17:11And no communication with Melissa.
00:17:14No texts.
00:17:15No calls.
00:17:17Not until you get back.
00:17:18Just give her a couple of days too.
00:17:24It's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
00:17:26Why put yourself through it?
00:17:28Veronica's right.
00:17:29I have no idea why any of my past relationships failed.
00:17:33Everything's good.
00:17:34And then overnight, done.
00:17:36That's why it's dating?
00:17:39It's a test drive.
00:17:40Check under the hood.
00:17:42Take it out on a trip.
00:17:44Well, if you have all the answers, then what's my problem?
00:17:46One thing, you date out of your class.
00:17:50What?
00:17:51The girls you date are too hot for you.
00:17:54You're average.
00:17:56They're above average.
00:18:00On what scale?
00:18:01On every scale.
00:18:03You're a quantity dater.
00:18:04I'm a quality dater.
00:18:08My objections have been stated.
00:18:11See you in a few days.
00:18:18Can I use your apartment while you're gone?
00:18:22What's the matter with yours?
00:18:24I have roommates.
00:18:26I can't get any privacy.
00:18:29Oh, I know the feeling.
00:18:30Oh.
00:18:39Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:18:42Oh, oh, oh, oh!
00:18:43Yeah, eh, eh, eh.
00:18:45I like to wake up in the morning
00:18:48But keep dreaming without warning
00:18:50The day is gone
00:18:51Till the road, good, good, good
00:18:54And sometimes I take a walk
00:18:56And I forget about the clock
00:18:58I can slow down My friends are sitting laughing, but I just keep on laughing
00:19:07They're knocking on my door, but I'm knocking them down
00:19:11They say I'm acting crazy, but I just want to lie in the sun
00:19:23Hey, where are you?
00:19:25I'm in San Diego already
00:19:28It's Nicole tonight, right?
00:19:30How do you know her name?
00:19:32I have a copy of your schedule. I'm here to keep you on track, remember?
00:19:37So, how'd you meet?
00:19:38After ASU, I interned in San Diego for a year
00:19:41I was at the beach one day, and I saw her walk by after surfing
00:19:46That night, I saw her again at this gaslight bar
00:19:51How long did you date?
00:19:52Maybe six months
00:19:54Then how did it end?
00:19:56One day, she said she couldn't see me anymore
00:20:00Okay, well, good luck
00:20:03And give me a cool laughter, okay?
00:20:05Okay
00:20:05Bye
00:20:07Bye
00:20:07My friends are sitting laughing
00:20:08But I just keep on laughing
00:20:11They're knocking on my door, but I'm knocking them down
00:20:15They say I'm acting crazy
00:20:17But I just want to lie in the sun
00:20:25I just wanna lie in the sun
00:20:30Yeah, lie in the sun
00:20:36My friends are sitting laughing
00:20:38But I just keep on laughing
00:20:40They're knocking on my door
00:20:42But I'm knocking them down
00:20:44They say I'm acting crazy
00:20:47But I just wanna lie in the sun
00:20:50Jason?
00:20:54Nicole?
00:20:57Wow, how are you?
00:20:59I'm great
00:21:00Still surfing, you know
00:21:03This is so weird
00:21:04Kind of like how we first met
00:21:08Well, where you saw me
00:21:09And then stalked me to that gas lamp bar
00:21:12The tipsy crow
00:21:16So, are you still living here?
00:21:17No, I'm in LA now
00:21:19How about you?
00:21:23I'm still living here
00:21:25Duh
00:21:27You look fantastic
00:21:29Thank you
00:21:30Life is good
00:21:32So, what brought you down here?
00:21:35I just went through a breakup
00:21:37I went to propose
00:21:38And she was sleeping with my old roommate
00:21:40Plus a few others
00:21:41But not at the same time
00:21:43So I got in the car
00:21:44And drove out of town to get away
00:21:48I'm sorry
00:21:49Probably way more info
00:21:50Than you were looking for
00:21:51A little
00:21:54So
00:21:55You have dinner plans tonight?
00:22:17I'm being honest
00:22:18This is my only good meal
00:22:26If we're being honest
00:22:27Us seeing each other again
00:22:28Wasn't exactly an accident
00:22:31I know
00:22:33I know
00:22:34How?
00:22:36I have a video doorbell
00:22:37It records anyone that walks out
00:22:40But when I left
00:22:41I had no idea I would see you
00:22:43That was complete luck
00:22:45Right
00:22:46Like when we first met
00:22:49I'm sure you followed me to that bar
00:22:53A hundred percent fluke
00:22:54A fluke
00:22:56A perfect coincidence
00:23:12So why did you really come down?
00:23:18Do you mind?
00:23:36I don't know if you remember
00:23:37But I was married
00:23:41I should have said no
00:23:42But I got so caught up
00:23:43In the proposal
00:23:44And the family
00:23:48She did you a favor
00:23:55When we were dating
00:23:57What was it about me
00:23:58That made you break up?
00:24:00Be brutal
00:24:01I can handle it
00:24:02So that's why you showed up
00:24:05You're trying to figure out
00:24:06Why she said no
00:24:07What?
00:24:08Come on, Jason
00:24:11Be honest
00:24:14Our breakup had nothing to do with you
00:24:19It's not me
00:24:20It's you
00:24:21I mean
00:24:21It's not you
00:24:23It's me
00:24:26Usually that's an excuse
00:24:28But it was true
00:24:30I met you
00:24:31I met you right when my marriage ended
00:24:33You showed up all young
00:24:35And cute
00:24:36And quirky
00:24:38And young
00:24:40I was just flattered
00:24:42That I was still
00:24:44Noticed
00:24:44What?
00:24:46You were like
00:24:47You were like
00:24:48Surfer
00:24:49Goddess
00:24:50And
00:24:51Cooler than Beyonce
00:24:54Thank you
00:24:58But seriously
00:25:00What happened?
00:25:02We were doing everything together for months
00:25:05And then you just broke it off
00:25:09Love
00:25:10You want me to be brutal?
00:25:12Yes
00:25:13I hope so
00:25:15We had just gotten back from X-Fest
00:25:17And we started fooling around
00:25:20It was a really good night
00:25:22We were on fire
00:25:26Your mouth was right by my ear
00:25:28So I can hear you breathing
00:25:31And then you whispered
00:25:32I love you
00:25:35I thought you didn't
00:25:37Or like did and didn't want to
00:25:39You know
00:25:40Jason
00:25:41I'm sorry
00:25:43I loved feeling loved by you
00:25:47I just knew there wasn't a future
00:25:50Just bad timing
00:26:05I should get going
00:26:07Wait
00:26:10I have something to show you
00:26:27Remember these?
00:26:30Wow
00:26:35I didn't come over here
00:26:37To do this
00:26:38Just tonight
00:26:40And then friends
00:26:41Nod if you understand
00:26:45Good
00:27:04I feel bad
00:27:05All we did was talk about me
00:27:07How's your life?
00:27:10That's how I like it
00:27:12Simple
00:27:14Simple?
00:27:17Are you dating anyone?
00:27:19I like being single
00:27:22There's a few guys that I see
00:27:23But
00:27:24They know it's only temporary
00:27:28Don't you think there's that one guy?
00:27:32I married him
00:27:34Oh right
00:27:36I like the freedom to do what I want
00:27:38When I want
00:27:39You know
00:27:47Was I okay last night
00:27:50In bed
00:27:52You were great
00:27:53Way better than I remembered
00:27:58You were like my sex Yoda
00:28:01How do you figure?
00:28:03Well
00:28:04Before you
00:28:06I would just hop on
00:28:07And pound away
00:28:08Sort of like a fish shot of water
00:28:12But you taught me to slow down
00:28:13To be in the moment
00:28:15And make it about you
00:28:16More than just me
00:28:17Sounds like me
00:28:19Thank you
00:28:21Really
00:28:24I'm still a young Padawan
00:28:25But
00:28:26I think I'm adequate
00:28:29More than adequate
00:28:31You're like
00:28:32A Jedi
00:28:34Jedi?
00:29:00You were meant to call last night
00:29:02Sorry
00:29:03It got late
00:29:04So
00:29:05What did you find out?
00:29:07I said I love you too early
00:29:08It freaked her out
00:29:09And that's why we split up
00:29:11Makes sense
00:29:12What else?
00:29:14She said I'm more than adequate in bed
00:29:16And even better now
00:29:18You had sex with her?
00:29:20It just happened
00:29:22Yeah right
00:29:23What
00:29:23She just tripped
00:29:24And fell on your dick?
00:29:26No
00:29:27She was showing me
00:29:28This pink underwear
00:29:29I got her
00:29:30And she started
00:29:31Draping open her rope
00:29:32I don't want to know
00:29:34In case it wasn't Melissa
00:29:37I didn't even think about her
00:29:38Until just now
00:29:40That's a step in the right direction
00:29:42I'm not trying to forget about her
00:29:44I'm trying to get her back
00:29:46Hold on
00:29:46Benji's calling me
00:29:47I'll call you later
00:29:49Okay but
00:29:51What's up?
00:29:53What's up?
00:29:53When are you coming home?
00:29:55In a few days
00:29:56Why?
00:29:56I invited the three fake girls over
00:29:58And they're impossible to satisfy
00:30:02They never get tired
00:30:04What do you want me to do about it?
00:30:06I need you to take one of them
00:30:08I need you to take one of them off my hands
00:30:09One's doing a photo shoot
00:30:10One's in the back
00:30:10But I fucking let out
00:30:12No way
00:30:14Please
00:30:14I need to sleep
00:30:16Oh shit
00:30:17She's coming
00:30:17I'll call you later
00:30:21Come to the back
00:30:23Now
00:30:24Okay
00:31:20Hello
00:31:21We're close till 2pm
00:31:26Okay
00:31:26Sorry
00:31:43Hey Jason
00:31:45Hi
00:31:47I'm really sorry about this
00:31:50I was just passing by
00:31:51And I wanted to see if you still worked here
00:31:54Why?
00:31:55I was passing by
00:31:57And I thought
00:31:57I wonder if Madison still works there
00:31:59So I put in a little extra effort
00:32:01And parked
00:32:04Now I know
00:32:06Now you know
00:32:11Do you have a few minutes
00:32:12So we can catch up?
00:32:13I have a lot of prep work
00:32:15Before we open
00:32:18Nice seeing you again
00:32:37Hey
00:32:39We close at 10 if you want to come back and talk
00:32:43Awesome
00:32:43Yeah
00:33:01Hello?
00:33:02Hey
00:33:03Hey
00:33:04Hey, who is this?
00:33:06Jason
00:33:07Jason
00:33:11College Jason?
00:33:13Yep
00:33:14Why are you calling me?
00:33:18I was in town
00:33:19And I wanted to say hi
00:33:21Jason
00:33:23I gotta go
00:33:23I'm gonna be late for work
00:33:24Okay
00:33:25Okay, maybe later
00:33:30Or not
00:33:46Or not
00:33:59Okay
00:34:00Okay, so what's the deal?
00:34:00Do you need money?
00:34:01What?
00:34:02No
00:34:04You're not dying, are you?
00:34:06I'm fine
00:34:08Then what?
00:34:19I want to know
00:34:20What happened
00:34:21With our relationship
00:34:23Why did we break up?
00:34:25You're looking for closure
00:34:26After four years
00:34:27No
00:34:30I just don't understand
00:34:31Why any of my past relationships failed
00:34:34You came all the way here
00:34:35Just to ask me that
00:34:37You won't hurt my feelings
00:34:47My parents hated you
00:35:00Really?
00:35:01Parents love me
00:35:03Usually more than the girl I'm dating
00:35:05I thought they'd like you too
00:35:06But you fucked it up
00:35:11How?
00:35:13You really don't remember
00:35:20Mini golf
00:35:22You mean when you cheated?
00:35:25I didn't cheat
00:35:26You toad
00:35:26You couldn't stand the fact
00:35:28That I beat you
00:35:29You moved the ball
00:35:30More than six inches
00:35:31That's a penalty
00:35:32You didn't have a ruler
00:35:34You guesstimated
00:35:35And guesstimated wrong
00:35:36Why are you getting so mad?
00:35:39Because it was under six inches
00:35:41So why don't your parents like me?
00:35:45The first and only time
00:35:47I took you to meet them
00:35:49You brought it up
00:35:49In fact
00:35:50You spent the entire night
00:35:52Talking about me cheating
00:35:53In mini golf
00:35:53They seemed interested
00:35:55Not interested
00:35:55You went on and on
00:35:57About the six inch rule
00:35:59So that's why we broke up?
00:36:01Yes
00:36:03Mostly
00:36:13Wow
00:36:15I'm really sorry Molly
00:36:18I appreciate that
00:36:23I get the competitive thing
00:36:25From my brother
00:36:27He's the six five
00:36:28Muscular version of me
00:36:30The only way
00:36:30I could ever win at anything
00:36:31Is if he cheated
00:36:32And I could prove it
00:36:35Siblings can be tough
00:36:40But six inches
00:36:41Is six inches
00:36:42Cheater
00:36:44Sorry
00:36:45That wasn't funny
00:36:50It's sort of funny
00:36:53How good are you
00:36:54At Miss Pacman
00:37:05You know you look good
00:37:08Thank you
00:37:11You look amazing
00:37:12Like even better than before
00:37:14Okay no more ass kissing
00:37:18Dating anyone
00:37:20Sort of
00:37:21It's convenient for now
00:37:23I'm so busy at work
00:37:26What do you do?
00:37:28Property management
00:37:29Three hundred units
00:37:32Sounds like three hundred problems
00:37:35You got it
00:37:37Last year I bought
00:37:39My first apartment building
00:37:41Nice
00:37:42Six units over in Arcadia
00:37:44Not far from all time
00:37:46Are you going to be
00:37:47The next real estate tycoon?
00:37:49We'll see
00:37:55What are you doing tonight?
00:37:58I was thinking we could
00:37:59Go play some mini golf
00:38:01You're an idiot
00:38:04No I'm
00:38:05Visiting another one of my exes
00:38:07I dated her before you
00:38:10Oh so you
00:38:12Didn't come here
00:38:13Just to see me
00:38:16No I'm doing
00:38:16A whole road trip thing
00:38:19To see your exes
00:38:21Yep
00:38:23What the fuck
00:38:24Is wrong with you?
00:38:26What is wrong with you?
00:38:29The next one
00:38:30Oh my my God
00:38:37Let's go
00:38:39See you
00:38:39Come here
00:38:42See you
00:38:43See you
00:38:43See you
00:38:44See you
00:38:45See you
00:38:46Come here
00:39:04Are you Jason?
00:39:06Yes.
00:39:08Do I know you?
00:39:10What are you doing here?
00:39:14I'm meeting a friend.
00:39:17I know that.
00:39:18Why?
00:39:22She's a friend from a few years ago?
00:39:24Hey, Einstein, you've answered everything except my fucking question.
00:39:29I see you've met Angela.
00:39:32Oh, we were just getting to know each other.
00:39:37We lived together.
00:39:41Oh, we didn't get that far in the conversation.
00:39:44I met Jason in high school.
00:39:46He was the nicest guy.
00:39:48I bet he was.
00:39:53I saw her again in college.
00:39:55My car battery died and he offered to jump me.
00:39:58I bet he did.
00:39:59What are we doing here?
00:40:03She's so jealous.
00:40:07Oh, I didn't realize you're together together.
00:40:11I'm no threat.
00:40:13In fact, I'm getting married.
00:40:15Let me see a photo.
00:40:17What?
00:40:19If you're getting married to this girl, you have to have a few pictures of her.
00:40:40Are you satisfied?
00:40:43You're going to be late for work.
00:40:44Go.
00:40:48It was nice to meet you.
00:40:50Likewise.
00:40:58Chugged your beer.
00:40:59We're done?
00:41:01I've been here all day.
00:41:02Let's go somewhere else.
00:41:06So how long have you been dating girls?
00:41:08Pretty much always.
00:41:10You're the only guy I went out with.
00:41:12No.
00:41:13Yeah.
00:41:15Why me?
00:41:17Well, my mom liked you.
00:41:20And remember when we went to prom?
00:41:23My mom was so happy to put up the prom pics in the living room.
00:41:29Yeah.
00:41:31Does your mom know now?
00:41:32She always knew.
00:41:34She was kind of just waiting on me.
00:41:38You only dated me to make your mom happy.
00:41:41Oh, I should know that came out wrong.
00:41:43I always liked being with you.
00:41:46You always were...
00:41:48real.
00:41:51To being real?
00:41:52To being real.
00:41:54To being real.
00:42:01Out of all my girlfriends, you were really my best friend.
00:42:05There was always something about us that was just so in sync.
00:42:09That's because we both like pussy.
00:42:12It's a pussy.
00:42:13I'll drink to that.
00:42:19And have it for dessert later, too.
00:42:26So we know that you say I love you way too early.
00:42:30Correct.
00:42:31And that you are a stickler for rules.
00:42:34Maybe a bit too much.
00:42:37And the moms like you,
00:42:39except when your obsession for rules shows its ugly face.
00:42:44And the girlfriend that I thought I was closest with
00:42:46was actually just a friend.
00:42:51Are you having a good time?
00:42:54It's a little outside my comfort zone.
00:42:57But I'm glad I'm doing it.
00:43:00Good.
00:43:03So,
00:43:05what did you do tonight?
00:43:11I went on a date.
00:43:13I went on a date.
00:43:16Great.
00:43:18Yeah.
00:43:19It was okay.
00:43:21Do you want details?
00:43:24Nah, I'm up early tomorrow and heading back to L.A.
00:43:30Kate.
00:43:31Kate.
00:43:34I'm gonna get some sleep.
00:43:37Hey, Jason.
00:43:38Yeah.
00:43:39Yeah.
00:43:43I'll talk to you tomorrow.
00:43:47Good night.
00:43:48Night.
00:43:50Night.
00:43:50I'm going to go back atéaben.
00:43:54Good night.
00:43:58Good night.
00:44:04Good night.
00:44:09Bye.
00:44:09Bye.
00:46:02Hey.
00:46:03Kay!
00:46:04Hey.
00:46:05How are you?
00:46:07Sorry, I'm all sweaty.
00:46:08Me too.
00:46:10Not like we haven't been sweaty together before.
00:46:13I remember.
00:46:14Sex in Arizona.
00:46:18Um, I meant living in Arizona.
00:46:21Oh.
00:46:23I just thought...
00:46:25It's good to see you.
00:46:26Do you live around here?
00:46:29No, I'm in Culver City.
00:46:31But I like trying new places to run.
00:46:33Yeah.
00:46:33Gotta stay fit.
00:46:34What?
00:46:36Well, it was great seeing you again.
00:46:42Um...
00:46:42We should catch up sometime.
00:46:44How about right now?
00:46:50Uh...
00:46:51Yeah.
00:46:52I guess.
00:46:54We could do it another day.
00:46:57You probably have plans.
00:46:59No, it's my day off.
00:47:04You sure?
00:47:06Yeah.
00:47:15How?
00:47:16I haven't been able to find this anywhere in L.A.
00:47:18I know.
00:47:20I found it in some random little shop in Echo Park.
00:47:23You got me addicted to this stuff.
00:47:26I haven't had one of these in years.
00:47:33So good.
00:47:45Do you remember our first date?
00:47:46We bought a six pack of Chihuahua.
00:47:49Sat in your convertible till sunrise.
00:47:51Talked about all the great things we were gonna do.
00:47:54Yeah.
00:47:55Yeah, you said that space travel was gonna make a return.
00:48:00And you were gonna be the guy who was in the belly of the beast when it happened.
00:48:03How do you remember that?
00:48:05It's a gift.
00:48:09So, what did you actually end up doing?
00:48:11I'm in the space program.
00:48:13Shut the fuck up.
00:48:15So, I've had sex with an astronaut?
00:48:18I wish I could check that off your bucket list.
00:48:22I'm the flight director at Rocket Dynamics.
00:48:24Our rockets put satellites in orbit.
00:48:26You know, I don't know anyone who actually did what they wanted to.
00:48:31You always knew.
00:48:33You were my only girlfriend who thought it was cool.
00:48:36I did.
00:48:37I mean, it would be way cooler if you were actually an astronaut.
00:48:41But...
00:48:44I'm really proud of you.
00:48:48You were the most driven person I've ever met.
00:48:50What are you doing now?
00:48:57Um...
00:48:58Are you... hungry...
00:49:00at all?
00:49:09We have a cool new rocket coming up.
00:49:12What's called?
00:49:14The A7.
00:49:15Nice. And so, how fast do these rockets go?
00:49:18Top speed is 27,000 kilometers an hour.
00:49:21Unreal.
00:49:23And what do you do?
00:49:25I'm the guy that says, go for launch.
00:49:27But if I say go, I better not have messed up.
00:49:32I'm impressed.
00:49:33And you know I'm not easily impressed.
00:49:35Oh, I remember.
00:49:38Our fourth date.
00:49:40And still no sex.
00:49:41You made me show you something that made me worthy of your vagina.
00:49:45It wasn't like that.
00:49:49But my vagina is worth it.
00:49:51You needed to impress.
00:49:53And you did.
00:49:55It's one of the few things I'm good at.
00:49:59Definitely not sexy though.
00:50:02Yeah.
00:50:03No.
00:50:04Not sexy.
00:50:06But it worked.
00:50:23What?
00:50:27You still have it?
00:50:28It was a gift. Why wouldn't I?
00:50:44You still got it?
00:50:46It may not be as impressive now.
00:50:49Yeah.
00:50:50I'll be the judge of that.
00:51:20Bad for out of practice.
00:51:24Me?
00:51:28What?
00:51:31Come here.
00:51:40So I hope you don't mind, but...
00:51:42I'm going to say I've had sex in the National.
00:51:45Fine with me.
00:51:54I probably should have asked, are you seeing anybody?
00:52:00I was.
00:52:03In fact, I almost asked you to marry me.
00:52:07And what happened?
00:52:10She was having sex with my old roommate.
00:52:14Oh.
00:52:16I'm sorry.
00:52:20Enough about me.
00:52:22What about you?
00:52:25Do you remember what my plan was?
00:52:28Totally.
00:52:29I bet we remember differently.
00:52:33My junior year at ASU, before Christmas, you told me you wanted to be the head of media relations at
00:52:41a Fortune 100 company.
00:52:43Not 500, but 100.
00:52:46It's pretty good.
00:52:49You remember what?
00:52:51You loved when a company like that got in trouble.
00:52:55The media relations person would come out and put a public spin on it so crafted, it made the whole
00:53:02public regain confidence again and the stockholders relax.
00:53:24I'm sorry.
00:53:26Did I say something?
00:53:52I just freaked you out, didn't I?
00:53:55No.
00:53:58Jason.
00:54:00A bit.
00:54:03Okay, you freaked me out.
00:54:07What did I say?
00:54:09Okay, I'm gonna tell you something that I've never told anyone.
00:54:12Okay?
00:54:14Okay.
00:54:19My freshman year I was broke and had to make tuition.
00:54:23You were on a full ride.
00:54:26No, not the first year.
00:54:28I had to earn it.
00:54:31So, by Christmas I was broke.
00:54:33Tuition, housing was due.
00:54:35I had to buy books.
00:54:38And I found out that a bunch of girls in the dorm had sugar daddies.
00:54:45But instead, I started doing cam modeling.
00:54:48No modeling required.
00:54:52I would get men off in private chats.
00:54:59You don't want to hear this, do you?
00:55:00You can tell me anything.
00:55:03Well, after the first few days, I figured out a way to make a lot of money.
00:55:08The longer I could keep guys on a private session, the more I made.
00:55:12So, I got really good at controlling the pace.
00:55:16And after two months, I paid off all my bills.
00:55:19I quit.
00:55:20I finished half of my class and I was on my way.
00:55:29And of all people, I didn't prepare for damage control.
00:55:35My first big interview after college was amazing.
00:55:40You know, I got offered a great salary, stock options, benefits.
00:55:46Pending a background check.
00:55:51But how did they find out?
00:55:53You didn't use your real name, did you?
00:55:55No.
00:55:56Where I fucked up is I used a photo from my cam profile from a Cancun vacation.
00:56:02That same photo was on my Instagram and Facebook.
00:56:05Our first image search.
00:56:11Every interview after that was pretty much the same.
00:56:14I was the most qualified person in the room until the background check.
00:56:18Sometimes I'd get a, you know, thank you but no thank you email.
00:56:22But usually I was just ghosted.
00:56:25I'm sorry.
00:56:27You're so talented.
00:56:30Fuck Fortune 100, 200, how about 500?
00:56:35Keep going.
00:56:36I finally got hired at a Fortune 1000 company.
00:56:39Took him two months to find out.
00:56:42Got fired and walked to my car.
00:56:46My boss said he was sorry.
00:56:48And then he hit on me, right there in the parking lot.
00:56:56I need a drink.
00:56:58I need a drink.
00:57:13Different выходs are Rita's mangaritas.
00:57:16Pink, Black and cuckooами.
00:57:37What?
00:57:38I wish you could see you the way I see you.
00:57:49Jason, I may have made a mistake not keeping you in my life.
00:57:54It never would have worked.
00:57:57Really?
00:57:59Us astronauts get the ladies.
00:58:02What can I say?
00:58:06Well, I'm really glad you're here.
00:58:10Me too.
00:58:21Hey, are you home?
00:58:26I've been past your place last night.
00:58:28Oh.
00:58:29I'm just leaving Kate's now.
00:58:33Hello?
00:58:34Well, what did you learn from sleeping with Kate?
00:58:37Who says we slept together?
00:58:39Oh.
00:58:40I'm sorry.
00:58:42I thought that...
00:58:43We did.
00:58:43Several times.
00:58:46Well, you might just go for a trifecta this week.
00:58:49Well, this was all your idea.
00:58:52Why are you getting so upset at me?
00:58:54I'm going home.
00:58:55No.
00:58:56No.
00:58:56You've come this far.
00:58:57Just...
00:58:59Go see Izzy and try to keep it in your pants.
00:59:02Nothing's gonna happen with her.
00:59:03She's the shy one.
00:59:05We dated for like a month before doing anything and never with the lights on.
00:59:09Why?
00:59:11She was a little heavy and it's always bothered her.
00:59:14She's really sweet though.
00:59:17So why'd you break up?
00:59:19I don't know.
00:59:22You know what?
00:59:24Go see Izzy, find out, and then call me.
00:59:27Okay?
00:59:27I want a full debriefing tonight.
00:59:29Okay, but you can't get mad at me.
00:59:33Call me.
00:59:38Name.
00:59:39Name.
00:59:46Name.
00:59:50Name.
00:59:54Name.
00:59:56Name.
00:59:56Name.
00:59:56Name.
00:59:56Name.
00:59:56Where's the sack?
01:00:00Hi?
01:00:01Does Izzy still live here?
01:00:06Jason?
01:00:09Is he?
01:00:11What are you doing here?
01:00:15Funny story.
01:00:21So, why do you think that we broke up?
01:00:28I can't remember.
01:00:29You were always so nice, I don't even remember arguing about anything.
01:00:34I used to please men by being agreeable.
01:00:37We can eat wherever, that movie's fine.
01:00:41Another blowjob, sure.
01:00:44It's not like I'm busy studying or anything.
01:00:50But with me specifically, do you remember?
01:00:54I remember everything about every guy I've dated.
01:00:59Pigs.
01:01:01Did I treat you bad?
01:01:06Nothing major.
01:01:08When you shaved, you would leave all those little hairs in the sink.
01:01:13And after you ate, you would take your plate and put it on the counter on top of the dishwasher.
01:01:20And I know that this is picky, but you would leave your dirty socks next to the hamper.
01:01:26Not even next to it, touching the hamper.
01:01:30Why didn't you say something?
01:01:32Because I'm a sucker.
01:01:34Every time we had sex, it started off with me giving you a blowjob.
01:01:39How about returning the favor?
01:01:40I did.
01:01:44Twice?
01:01:45Twice.
01:01:46And I used to send you these cute texts with specific things that I loved about you just to make
01:01:53your day a little bit better.
01:01:56They did.
01:01:58Then send something back better than a fucking thumbs up emoji!
01:02:04I'm sorry, Izzy.
01:02:06I didn't know.
01:02:10It's okay.
01:02:12Mine are stupid.
01:02:17So...
01:02:18What do you...
01:02:21do for work?
01:02:26How about I show you?
01:02:44You wanna try it?
01:02:47No charge.
01:02:50It's not my thing.
01:02:51How would you know if you've never tried it?
01:02:56I'm pretty sure I wouldn't like it.
01:02:59You're a fucking pussy.
01:03:01What?
01:03:02I can loan you some of my panties in case you're feeling a little vulnerable.
01:03:07No.
01:03:08I just...
01:03:09I said try it!
01:03:10Okay.
01:03:18This is gonna hurt a little.
01:03:20This is gonna hurt a little.
01:03:25See?
01:03:26What about that?
01:03:32Oh, come on.
01:03:41Hey!
01:03:43Has this ever turned out of a scratch?
01:03:45It turned out.
01:03:46It turned out of a doubt.
01:03:49It turned out.
01:03:51Did you hit the trifecta?
01:03:54I want to tell you in person.
01:03:56Could I meet you somewhere?
01:03:58Yeah, I'm about to head out.
01:04:01Meet me at Lansing Park.
01:04:04Okay.
01:04:05Lansing Park, 30 minutes.
01:04:09Hey, V.
01:04:10Yeah?
01:04:12I missed you.
01:04:14I hope that's not weird.
01:04:17No.
01:04:18No, me too.
01:04:20All right.
01:04:24Bye.
01:04:54What are you doing here?
01:04:56We need to talk.
01:04:59How'd you know I was here?
01:05:02Where is he?
01:05:03I can't tell you.
01:05:06A Lansing Park.
01:05:07A Lansing Park.
01:05:09Sit.
01:05:16First, I want to say sorry about what happened.
01:05:18And I want us to forget all that, okay?
01:05:23Okay.
01:05:26Why?
01:05:28Well, over the last few days, I asked myself, what do I want?
01:05:34What?
01:05:36What?
01:05:39You'll never be Jason Bateman or Jason Statham.
01:05:46But you could be a Jason Biggs or a Jason Schwartzman.
01:05:51I'm sure they're nice people.
01:05:55Where are you going with this?
01:05:57Hello.
01:05:59You're not very smart for a rocket guy, are you?
01:06:03Let's pick up where you came over to propose, but instead of what happened.
01:06:07Kyle having butt sex with you.
01:06:10That is not being productive.
01:06:14Imagine you came in and I was looking fabulous.
01:06:18What would you have said to me?
01:06:24Hi, Melissa. You look great. Are you hungry?
01:06:26No.
01:06:28Do you have the ring?
01:06:30Yeah.
01:06:32Do the get down on one knee part.
01:06:34With the ring.
01:06:40You know, a lot has happened over the last few days.
01:06:43I've been thinking a lot, too.
01:06:46I think we might need to spend some time apart.
01:06:50Jason, please.
01:06:51Do you know how hard it was for me to come here and admit that I was wrong?
01:07:06Melissa, over the last two years, you've changed my life.
01:07:09You've made me a better man and helped focus the direction...
01:07:12Yes, yes. I heard this part.
01:07:14Skip to the end.
01:07:19Melissa, will you make me the happiest man in the world and marry me?
01:07:33Sure.
01:07:40Jason, what are you doing?
01:07:44Who are you?
01:07:47Oh, she's just a girl from my work.
01:07:53You two deserve each other.
01:07:59Did she just insult me?
01:08:02Jason!
01:08:04Look at me!
01:08:09Who was that?
01:08:12I'm gonna go.
01:08:15I want some answers.
01:08:23Melissa, it's not you. It's me.
01:08:30Goodbye.
01:08:33You'll be back!
01:08:39Asshole.
01:08:44So, you messed up.
01:08:46Call her.
01:08:48Say her sorry.
01:08:50I did.
01:08:53Text?
01:08:55I stopped after seven.
01:08:58Nothing?
01:09:02Go to her house,
01:09:03buy her flowers,
01:09:05and beg for forgiveness.
01:09:08No, I'll see her at work tomorrow.
01:09:20Whatever happened to those three-way girls?
01:09:25I couldn't get rid of them.
01:09:27I had to fake a penis injury.
01:09:31Then they lost all interest
01:09:33and left.
01:09:35I discovered I'm a one-girl guy.
01:09:39Crazy week.
01:09:41Tomorrow is a new day.
01:09:44Things always work out the way they should.
01:09:54Diana's gonna help get the presentation finished
01:09:56until Veronica gets back.
01:09:58What?
01:09:59Where's Veronica?
01:10:01You haven't talked with her?
01:10:02I assume you knew before I did.
01:10:05Knew what?
01:10:07So, where are we with the changes?
01:10:10I want to score the presentation.
01:10:13Stock music sounds sort of stock.
01:10:18Wait, when is she coming back?
01:10:21I didn't talk to her.
01:10:22Are you good changing the music?
01:10:24Wait, where is she?
01:10:27Jason, I had her job before she did.
01:10:30I got this.
01:10:34Where are you going?
01:10:36I'm going to get Veronica back.
01:10:38Without her, there is no presentation.
01:10:41No offense, Diana.
01:10:44Can't you just call her?
01:10:50That was a relationship reaction.
01:11:13Veronica, can I explain?
01:11:18I'm sorry.
01:11:22I know it looked like I was proposing,
01:11:24but I wasn't going to go through with it.
01:11:28The truth is, the whole time I was gone,
01:11:32the only one I was thinking of was you.
01:11:39I don't know how I didn't realize this sooner,
01:11:43but I love you, V.
01:11:46I was just scared if we got into a relationship
01:11:54and it didn't work out.
01:11:56No one stays friends.
01:12:01Will you give me a chance, please?
01:12:11I think you blew it.
01:12:14Who are you?
01:12:16I'm Carrie, V's sister.
01:12:20V's been talking about you for the last two years.
01:12:24Do you?
01:12:25My whole freaking family knows about Jason from the party.
01:12:30What party?
01:12:32The 2018 Christmas party.
01:12:35Heard it a thousand times.
01:12:42What'd she say?
01:12:45That you and V snuck into the lounge with a bottle of Jack,
01:12:48talked so long that everyone at the party left.
01:12:51About right.
01:12:52Talked about family and kids.
01:12:56And when the time was right,
01:12:58you looked into her eyes and you leaned in for a kiss.
01:13:02You don't have to say it.
01:13:04And you threw up all over her and you.
01:13:09I'm bad with hard alcohol.
01:13:12Obviously.
01:13:14And what did she do?
01:13:16She took you home,
01:13:17got you cleaned up and put you to bed.
01:13:23You blew it.
01:13:25At least you would have with me.
01:13:29But she still loves you.
01:13:31I don't know why.
01:13:34She said that?
01:13:36She said that out loud?
01:13:38In a sentence?
01:13:40I have to be honest.
01:13:41I'm not that impressed.
01:13:44Where is she?
01:13:46She went on a trip with this guy Mitch.
01:13:48He's been asking her out for months.
01:13:54Where?
01:13:56I promise not to tell you.
01:13:59I need to talk with her.
01:14:02Sorry.
01:14:03We're family.
01:14:34I need to talk with her.
01:14:34We need to talk.
01:14:38I'm sorry how shit went down.
01:14:45I'm your boy.
01:14:46And I've had your back.
01:14:49But you smell.
01:14:51You're missing all your interviews.
01:14:54And I hear what goes on here every night.
01:14:56What?
01:15:00You want me to say it?
01:15:04You're wagging off loudly or crying.
01:15:09Usually both.
01:15:23you're saying it.
01:15:24And I'm your boy.
01:15:39You've are both.
01:15:40This is for your own good.
01:15:43Who is it?
01:15:47Diana?
01:15:49You look horrible.
01:15:52You came over to tell me that?
01:15:55I'm VP at Pacific Aerospace now.
01:15:57I heard.
01:15:59Really? Because my HR guy has been trying to get you in for months.
01:16:06I was going to call him back.
01:16:08I'm taking a few months off to figure out what I want to do.
01:16:13You know, Tom still blames you for not getting the board's approval on the A7 money.
01:16:19I hope that's not why you got fired.
01:16:21No. I just realized that if you didn't have a penis, I wasn't getting promoted any higher.
01:16:28A lot of dick at the top.
01:16:32So, what do I have to do to get you to come work with me?
01:16:35We have better pay, better benefits.
01:16:39How do you see me fitting in?
01:16:42Before, we were always chasing number one.
01:16:46But at Pacific, we are number one.
01:16:49And I need you to keep us there.
01:16:54I always thought I wanted to be in the space program.
01:16:57And I did it.
01:16:59But I think I want to do something else now.
01:17:02I'll double what you were making.
01:17:05Yes.
01:17:08It's not about the money.
01:17:10I need to find something else.
01:17:13At least think about it.
01:17:15You know more about the space program than anyone I know.
01:17:18The world needs your talent.
01:17:20Don't just walk away.
01:17:29I'll think about it.
01:17:32Is that a maybe?
01:17:36Is that a maybe?
01:17:38It's a yes.
01:17:40It's a no.
01:17:41I spent the last week thinking through my options and I need to make a change.
01:17:45Come on, Jason.
01:17:47Give us a try.
01:17:48Just tell me what you want.
01:17:49I want to be happy.
01:17:51Well, I can't help you with that.
01:17:53I respect your decision and if you change your mind, let me know.
01:17:57I'm sorry it didn't work out.
01:17:59I...
01:18:01I know.
01:18:03I'm sure our paths will cross again.
01:18:05I hope so.
01:18:08Take care, Jason.
01:18:10Thanks, Diana.
01:18:37Give me this.
01:18:56You are so excited.
01:18:59You are so excited.
01:18:59No, I am so excited.
01:19:01Look, I am so excited.
01:19:03I am so excited.
01:19:06Do you have such a good idea.
01:19:06I did not make that a big deal.
01:19:07class is over. Oh. But I can stay if you need some private tutoring. Well I have a
01:19:15question about why you became a teacher. Okay. So I looked you up online and I
01:19:25thought it was kind of strange that you would go from a high-paying job to a
01:19:29book deal that made you even more money to a teacher. We all know the teachers
01:19:35don't get paid very much. Well I will give you an A for research. I I saved what I
01:19:45earned as a flight director and after a very successful book deal, thank you, I
01:19:51retired. Doesn't look like you retired to me. This? This is fun. I get to get
01:20:01students like you excited about science and space. And I'm working on book two.
01:20:09Well I am a big fan of the first book. Where does Captain Bean's Sprout go this
01:20:14time? I don't want to give it away. But where no Sprout has gone before. I do have
01:20:24one complaint. What? Well it just seems that Captain Bean's Sprout must be lonely. Up in
01:20:34space all alone. Was there ever a co-Captain Bean? Or a squash? Or a carrot? Well there was a
01:20:47co-Captain Bean. But it didn't work out. Why not? The captain didn't know what he
01:20:58wanted until it was too late. She ran off with some tomato. Not a tomato. I would love to hear
01:21:13more about the book. Is there any way that I can schedule some out of class
01:21:17time? So how'd things go with Mitch? Oh we we dated for a few months and then when he
01:21:28asked me to move in with him I penned. Yeah. Sort of like saying I love you too early.
01:21:36Right. Yeah. Everything is about timing. I'm sorry I threw up on you at the Christmas
01:21:44party. What? What made you think of that? When I met your sister she took great pleasure
01:21:59in reminding me. Yeah she's got an evil streak. She does. It's really good to see you though.
01:22:10You too. Too long. Who's that with me?
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