- 7 hours ago
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Short filmTranscript
00:07Last week on Drag House Rules, Trinity's sugar-filled go-go juice sent the queens into an all-out war.
00:16God damn rules!
00:18Scarlet!
00:19Heidi promised she'd make Scarlet the drama in exchange for immunity and intel.
00:24And when ex-boyfriend Thomas crashed the party...
00:27Jujubee, this is fucked!
00:28Sephira flattened him in a fight called Stout Throwdown.
00:34Later, a bit draggled Sephira fled by her own volition.
00:38Sephira, please, please, we'll make-
00:39Fuck y'all!
00:45Somebody wanna explain to me what the fuck happened last night?
00:48Kirsten, I'm sorry, we were trying to produce some drama on the show and it went a little too far.
00:55Oh honey, this isn't your fault.
00:57It was entirely her fault. Jujubee is the one that-
00:59But you two should know better.
01:01Our sweet little Jujubee here is a first-time producer and I'm sure he's trying this little darndest to deal
01:06with the numbskulls that surround him.
01:08No, this is my fault.
01:10I should have offered more oversight, but I was trying to be respectful.
01:13You know, it's a little overwhelming. I'm a straight man in a leadership position on a queer-centered show and
01:19there's knives and there's dicks and there's-
01:21Jesus. Grow some fucking balls, Gregory.
01:23It's overwhelming.
01:25So what should we do now? Are we bailing Sherry out of jail?
01:28Look, absolutely not. I'm not risking another gay lucha libre.
01:32I called in a favor.
01:35Plain Jane lands tonight.
01:37You got plain Jane.
01:39Yes!
01:40Wait, we already shot the first episode. What about Sherry and Safira?
01:43Way ahead of you.
01:44Tiffany!
01:47Bring in that non-binary whiz kid that does VFX for us.
01:50What's her name?
01:52Aspen Asher?
01:54Aster!
01:54Pretty sure it's Aperture. Apture?
01:57Ap-
02:00Y'all heard of a little thing called AI? Show them what you did earlier, kid.
02:06So yeah, basically we're gonna use new technology to take the shots from day one's lineup and basically use composition
02:13AI to replace Safira with plain Jane.
02:18What about Sherry Vine?
02:20We're turning her into a house plant.
02:25Fantastic!
02:26Great, so we just have to shoot planes, walk in, fake some day one confessional stuff and we're good, right?
02:33Exactly.
02:34The post team will start with their erasure of Sherry and Safira and let you know if we need any
02:38additional pickups.
02:40Is this ethical?
02:44I think what he means is, should we be filming this?
02:53Yeah, turn that shit off!
02:57You know what? Keep it!
02:59Sherry Safira Chaos Crimes is cheaper than reshoots and I can't handle any more bad press around this stupid fucking
03:04show!
04:12Hey, stupid bitches.
04:18And they say we're not allowed to get violent anymore.
04:20We're definitely going to jump that ass.
04:23Hey, P-P-Painty, what are these?
04:25Oh, BB won't come to set unless she has her cue cards.
04:28Her what?
04:30Cue cards?
04:31Girl, Miss BB sounds like a handful and a half.
04:33Anterior!
04:35Oh, Lord, here comes no fun fanny.
04:39Did I just see your little boy toy fly through here?
04:42No, you did not.
04:43It was all in the news.
04:45Claymore, we all actually really like Angie's boy toy.
04:49He's real nice.
04:50Hey, sorry.
04:52Couldn't help overhearing.
04:53You know, what if we use Kenny on camera?
04:59No, I don't.
05:01Oh, come on, man.
05:02Show could use a little man meat.
05:04He'd be like Beno White, but for gay people.
05:08Beno White is for gay people.
05:10Look, you can use him for your little show as long as you keep your hands off of him.
05:18Girl, I'm not gay.
05:21I actually believe him.
05:23Sex does sell, and he strikes me as a man who likes capitalism.
05:27I really do.
05:29Glad we're in agreement.
05:31Okay, girls.
05:32Have a great day.
05:38He looks gay to me.
05:40Oh, my God, look.
05:41Look at him.
05:44What is he?
05:45Is he polishing Angie or his heel?
05:48He must still be on punishment with what happened with Sherry's mouth.
05:51Ew.
05:53Do you think we're doing it, right?
05:56Hey, losers.
05:57Guess what?
05:58What plane?
05:59You fags are ugly, and your fans are lying to you.
06:02Oh, bitch.
06:03Look, I'm not the villain.
06:05I'm the narrative engine.
06:06Without me, this house would be a base waiting room with wigs.
06:09She's so nasty, raw, and cut.
06:12I know, but at least it's like fresh energy.
06:16Fresh.
06:16Okay.
06:17A lot of these girls had to audition.
06:19I was a direct booking.
06:21I didn't need to beg and barter and suck cock for this role.
06:28I do that for free.
06:43Please don't save me.
06:44Please don't save me.
06:45Please don't save me.
06:49Here you go.
06:52You okay?
06:53What is that?
06:55Demon Slayer.
06:56You ever heard of it?
06:58Is that like a La Boo Boo thing?
07:00Yeah.
07:01It's like a La Boo Boo thing.
07:03I don't do like Pokemon.
07:05Yeah.
07:05You don't give me anime time.
07:07You give me like you watch the Gilmore Gals and cry to yourself at sleep at night.
07:12Okay.
07:14Sorry.
07:15Sorry.
07:16I'm just like, I'm like trying to come over here and like, you know, be like, hey girl.
07:20Yeah, yeah.
07:20But like, you don't really like.
07:21I'm sorry.
07:22You know, I was, I was, girl, I was gaming.
07:24But how are you doing now?
07:27Actually?
07:28Really?
07:29I'm amazing.
07:30Watching your ex get carted away by the police like that?
07:34So deserved.
07:35Honestly, yeah, I can see it.
07:36I can see it.
07:37But you should thank Sophia for that.
07:39Such a boss move, the way she just walked off the show like that?
07:42You know, after last night, I thought about it too, but you only get one of those, so.
07:46One of what?
07:47Quitting the show.
07:48I already used mine in 2023.
07:50But if I do it twice, I'll never get booked on TV again, so.
07:54Oh, that makes sense.
07:55Yeah.
07:55Why would you want to quit?
07:57Hey, what are you guys talking about?
07:59Your lace, hoe.
08:01Mine?
08:01Your non-existent, non-full frontal lace.
08:05Chopped.
08:05Come here.
08:06You want me?
08:08Look, it was a pleasure meeting you for the first time.
08:10You too.
08:11I'll see you.
08:12God bless you.
08:12Can I come with you then?
08:13No, you stay right there.
08:14You stay right there.
08:20La boo boo.
08:22La boo la boo.
08:24La boo boo.
08:29Sister.
08:30Sister.
08:31Did you get the pin yet?
08:33No.
08:35Jujubee said I'm still not the drama.
08:38Or like that I have to be more of the drama, or the drama needs to be me, or like
08:42I have
08:42to be at one with the drama, or I don't know.
08:45It's getting confusing.
08:46Well, just go fight plane.
08:47It's easy.
08:49Yeah, I don't think it's that simple, honestly.
08:51I mean, like, plane's fighting literally everyone.
08:55Really?
08:55And stay away from my fucking sandwich, Lardina, as biggies.
08:58I swear to God, plane.
09:00Yeah.
09:00Big bad planes.
09:01Well, I'm sure you'll figure it out.
09:05You are the drama.
09:08Yeah, I'm not so sure anymore.
09:10Clearly, the vote is for plane tonight.
09:12I, that goes without saying.
09:14Mm-hmm.
09:14You said that three times already.
09:17I'm manifesting justice.
09:19Oh.
09:20And maybe next week, we can vote for Trinity.
09:23But why train ya?
09:25Ugh, God.
09:26Like, of course, I respect the legacy or whatever, but like, her drag's a little dated.
09:29She's like, so old, like, dusty vintage.
09:33Oh, hey, sister.
09:35Hi.
09:36How you doing?
09:37So, because she said dress for movement, did y'all bring that kind of drag?
09:41Honey, you ain't got to worry about me.
09:43All of my looks off of twirling and whirling.
09:45Mm-hmm, yeah, do you need to borrow something?
09:46I mean, we brought a lot of stuff.
09:48I wouldn't wear that.
09:50But I'm good.
09:50Thanks.
09:53Let me know.
09:55She's such a cunt.
09:56You are a shaded-ass bitch, because you didn't even have to say that.
09:59Oh, God.
10:01Anything but sports.
10:05Mm, ladies, ladies, ladies.
10:08Immunity.
10:09The prize everyone's dying for.
10:11Tonight, one of you will win the privilege to dodge tonight's elimination.
10:15Yes, you will.
10:17Oh, fuck no.
10:18No, I'm not doing that.
10:20The rules are simple, people.
10:21One queen will stand on the side of the court while the other queen's try to hit her with
10:25these professional-grade dodgeballs.
10:30Professional-grade?
10:31Playground dodgeballs are made of a low-density, no-sting rubber.
10:34Professional-grade is made of a firmer foam that allows you to grip the balls better.
10:38Okay, why do you know this?
10:41I played dodgeball league.
10:43It really helps blow off the steam.
10:45Yeah!
10:45Let's go!
10:47Woo!
10:48Ah!
10:49Ah!
10:50We get to play dodgeball!
10:52Yes, sir!
10:53I'm about to hit these bitches in their face.
10:54Not their face.
10:55It's illegal.
10:55But I'm gonna hit them.
10:56I'm gonna get them.
10:57Yeah.
10:57I'm winning this one.
10:59Bibi!
11:00What rules is it?
11:01Federation League?
11:02National rules?
11:03Which one?
11:03I don't know what that means, but the cards say once you hit, you're out.
11:08The queen will survive the longest.
11:10Wins immunity.
11:12Selena, you're up first.
11:15Okay.
11:16I'm out of here.
11:17Come on, ladies.
11:18Let's get her ass out.
11:19No headshots, okay?
11:21Oh, what if my aim is for and I just happened to accidentally hit her in the head?
11:26I swear to God, plain!
11:27All right, Selena?
11:29Let the games begin.
11:31With the obvious exception of plain bitch-ass Jane, I feel like these queens have been very,
11:36like, motherly and lovey towards me, you know?
11:39I love it, but I don't know.
11:41Today, something's different.
11:55I may not be good at sports, but I have a lot of experience with balls.
12:13Girl, let's just get her.
12:18What?
12:20I don't want to get sweaty.
12:22Get her!
12:31That's 30 seconds, and June is the one to be beat.
12:48You know, Heidi is a very skinny, small person, and I'm actually really surprised to see
12:55how athletic Heidi is, because I wouldn't expect that in somebody of her, you know, spindly shadow.
13:02Girl!
13:03Oh, my God!
13:05Oh, my God!
13:10Okay, ladies.
13:12Professional grade.
13:16Heidi, it's at two minutes.
13:19No!
13:20Uh-uh!
13:22Right here!
13:23Come on!
13:32Woo!
13:33Good job, Heidi.
13:34That was incredible.
13:35Dude, I win.
13:36Slow down.
13:37What about me?
13:37Plain Jane!
13:39The time to beat is two minutes and nine seconds!
13:41Piece of cake, girl.
13:42I got this.
13:43Come on.
13:43Mm-hmm.
13:44We'll see about that.
13:45Hold on to those tits, bitch.
13:48I'm an expert at dodging balls, bitch.
13:52Get at me, bitch.
13:53Get at me, bitch.
13:54Oh, shit.
13:58Oh, shit.
14:00Oh, shit.
14:00Oh, shit.
14:00The fuck?
14:01You fucking bitch.
14:02Ah!
14:03Hey, that's against the rule.
14:05So are fucking headshots, bitch.
14:07BB, disqualify her.
14:09She's on testosterone.
14:10You know what, bitch?
14:10Put she shot, bitch.
14:12Bitches.
14:14Oh, shit.
14:15Oh, this is embarrassing.
14:20Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
14:21We are done here.
14:22Heidi won the immunity.
14:24I'm out.
14:25I don't even know why they got me here.
14:26This is really, really crazy.
14:28Can I have my tea?
14:29Can I have my black car service?
14:30I need to get out of here.
14:32This is real.
14:35You bitch!
14:37You're a terrorist, Plain.
14:39Girl, please.
14:40Nobody cares about your feelings, Selena.
14:42Wah, I'm Selena.
14:43Nobody loves me.
14:44My boyfriend just broke up with me.
14:46I take DL loads just to feel something.
14:49Do you believe this?
14:50I mean, I love to take DL loads.
14:53No, I'm talking about Plain.
14:54Oh, yeah.
14:55She's pretty bad.
14:57I don't know how she still gets booked.
14:58Girl, this is soft, juicy, profitable.
15:02Pussy, honey.
15:03That's just nasty.
15:06Oh, my God.
15:08She is pure chaos.
15:10Mm-hmm.
15:11And she's so good at causing drama.
15:13That's for damn sure.
15:16Yeah, I know.
15:19Girl, what are they doing in there?
15:22But she low-key funny, too, when you think about it.
15:26Yeah, evil.
15:28In, like, a fun, sexy, evil way.
15:34I don't know about sexy, but okay.
15:38Evil, yes.
15:39Definitely evil.
15:45I'm so happy these cameras are on
15:47so people can see how disgusting and vile you are, Plain.
15:50I'm so happy these cameras are on.
15:52I'm so happy these cameras are on.
15:52I'm so happy these cameras are on.
15:53I'm so happy these cameras are on.
15:53I'm so happy you are, Plain.
15:55Damn, y'all need to calm down.
15:56Have some hummus.
15:57What?
15:58Wait, you, oh, you.
16:00What?
16:02She just finger-fucked that hummus.
16:07Girl, you're doing too much, girl.
16:09Lane, what the fuck is this?
16:11You love my hummus finger.
16:12Don't lie, bitch.
16:13You love my hummus finger.
16:15Vote her out!
16:15Vote her out!
16:17Vote her out!
16:29Girl, where the hell is she going?
16:31Girl, where the hell is she going?
16:31It was in that moment, that very moment,
16:35that I realized maybe there's more than one way
16:39to be the drama.
16:58unexpected but not unwelcome she smells like an old woman but like potpourri like a classy
17:06old lady smell right right that one feral feral cells juju claymore wow just wow i mean that kiss
17:20come on you guys i got mad props on the story producing my brother yeah yes hey you guys are
17:29running this show like pros thank you listen network needs me to step out to put out some
17:35fires on another show you guys okay if i leave you got this right um absolutely yeah yeah listen take
17:44care just a phone call away right sure sure safe travels you scare me good fear gets results
18:13one moment please please come here
18:22camera could you like go follow uh selena i'm pretty sure she's downstairs in the bathroom waffle stomping
18:30a fat turd you go okay hi hey is this about her agreement yeah yeah okay great job by the
18:42way
18:42gregory loved the kiss moment oh yeah yeah so much that he left me in charge oh that's so good
18:48scarlet i
18:49owe you big time yeah you do oh literally an immunity pen you said you would give me one right
18:55right but
18:55but you know i can't exactly tell you where it is but you promised
19:04fine upstairs okay in the office on the bookshelf to the left behind lord of the flies
19:11oh my god that's so fitting right yeah yeah okay thank you so much you're welcome so much
19:23what the fuck ladies this week you painted you post and you threw dodgeballs like your rent
19:35depended on it but now the music fades the lashes listen and the fantasy files for unemployment
19:43and now my darlings it comes down to the vault write down the name of the queen you wish to
19:51send home
19:51or as i'd like to say the next soul banished from this glittery hell remember karma has excellent
20:00partnership you may now begin
20:25now now now now now now now before we take a look at the vaults if any queen has immunity
20:33pen
20:33they would like to use speak now okay then i will now tally the votes
20:59selena estidi
21:07selena estidi selena estidi selena estidi selena estidi how you guys we talked about voting for plane
21:19she's a monster wait who why it was me why you did say her drag was dated remember yeah but
21:30you can't sayonara kiddo you think you're a star well i built the galaxy
21:40bye pumpkin
21:41you can't sayonara kiddo you did not have to say it
21:52ah shit
21:54come on you nope
21:57come on right here uh uh come on
22:05come on
22:08come on
22:17come on
22:18come on
22:24come on
22:26come on
22:28come on
22:31come on
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