- 1 day ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:01Tramatic for you, but like, you know.
00:03Tramatic, but like, cool, like, this is a good story to tell.
00:05Absolutely, this is what it's for.
00:08This is all for this moment.
00:10Everything let us hear.
00:11That's incredible.
00:12How crazy is that?
00:13I'll be right back.
00:30Don't do it.
01:20I'll be right back.
01:30I'll be right back.
01:32I'll be right back.
02:31I'll be right back.
02:40I'll be right back.
03:20I'll be right back.
03:52I'll be right back.
03:59I'll be right back.
04:31I'll be right back.
05:00Yeah.
05:30I'll be right back.
05:51I'll be right back.
05:58I'll be right back.
06:04I'll be right back.
06:53I'll be right back.
07:25I'll be right back.
07:35I'll be right back.
07:39I'll be right back.
07:54I'll be right back.
07:57I'll be right back.
08:12What are you doing?
08:29You are right.
08:31We also need to enjoy some fun.
08:36Let's have some fun.
08:37Fun? What do you think?
08:53Nice weather.
08:54Yeah.
09:03Let's see.
09:10What did you do?
09:14It looks like it was a light.
09:16It just looks like it was a selfie.
09:17It's a selfie.
09:18Yes.
09:19Ahahaha.
09:22I like it.
09:24I like it.
09:26I like it.
09:27I like it.
09:31Now we are really having fun
09:58I'm telling you it's fucking sick. I'm gonna fucking get into it. Sorry for swearing. I'm fucking excited about fucking
10:04crypto
10:04It's sick. Yo, Jazzy, it's world, bro. What's good, bro? You haven't posted something in like a month, bro
10:09I suppose it's only two weeks ago. Nah, nah, but you have to post something good. You know what I'm
10:13saying? Like the streets are waiting, my G
10:15Yo, you seen this, uh, this Prem guy? Yo, let's post some good stuff. Might even take your spot if
10:20you don't get on it, bro
10:21Yo, plug your phone real quick. I'll show you. I'll show you. Yeah, search up
10:24P-R-E-M Prem Prem. Yeah, yeah, that one right there. Yo,
10:28Watch that one. And hell yeah, I want extra mozzarella on that pizza
10:33Yo, this has three million views that he just posted in yesterday
10:38Hey guys, I know we all like to have fun, but it is important to celebrate our differences because
10:43Frame means love. Frame out
10:47Oh, yo
10:49Shit, man's getting swerved now, eh
10:53Yo, yo, let's watch that one though. We're right there
10:55I'm gonna teach you how to make the most amazing bookalicious routine.
10:58Baby, stop looking at me.
10:59Yeah!
11:00Boy, I'm not on a menu.
11:02Hey yo, you're one, listen! Listen up! Can I have your attention please?
11:08First of all, thank you all for showing up tonight.
11:11Big thank you to Mummy G for the pacorne and shout out Neil who ate two trains
11:20Last but not least, give it up for my man, Jasmid!
11:29Yo, Jasmid! Where you at? Come on out!
11:33Jasmid!
11:36Yo, Jasmid!
11:38Jasmid!
11:38Jasmid!
11:52Jasmid!
11:52Jasmid!
11:52Almost there, Jaminc.
11:53Jasmid!
11:53Even captains going straight to Boism il!
11:54His car's still here, where the fuck is it?
11:56I checked the pool house. Nothing.
11:57I went to the neighbors, they don't even know who he is.
11:59Why would the neighbors know who he is?
12:01Okay, let's roll out!
12:02Wait, wait wait wait. None of us should be driving, I'm taxi as fuck
12:05Wait!
12:07Who the fuck are you two, get the fuck away from my car.
12:09Jasmid's 40s, 40fg
12:09Jasmid!
12:09Who invited you?
12:11Oh, you can take my bike.
12:13What?
12:14Or your neighbor's helicopter.
12:16You don't want to fly a fuck in a helicopter
12:17Yes, I do, bro.
12:19It's X to go up and then...
12:22Right, of course.
12:23Circle to go down.
12:24Uh-huh.
12:25R1 is shoot, so don't fucking press R1.
12:27Are you fucking for real?
12:29First of all, both of you fucking relax.
12:31Yeah, it's super relaxing getting in a car with a drunken idiot.
12:34I'm a really good driver when I'm drunk.
12:36Because I know I'm drunk, I'm actually way more focused on the road.
12:40What?
12:40I mean, you could say I'm a better driver drunk than I ever am sober.
12:45That makes sense to me.
12:46I can't believe your dumb faces are the last thing I'm going to see.
12:48Sonny!
12:49Get out.
12:50I'll be doing car save up.
12:51Bro, where the fuck did you come from?
12:53I was taking a piss in the woods.
12:55We have washrooms in the house.
12:56You fucking did not need to do coke in the bathroom.
12:57And I'm fucking wrong?
12:59Get the fuck out.
13:00You're fucking ugly, bro.
13:01Look how fucking drunk you are.
13:02Bro, what are you guys saying?
13:03Why are you fucking letting him drive, bro?
13:05Look how fucking ripped he is, bro.
13:06I drive better drunk, trust me.
13:08All right, where are we going?
13:09Oh, maybe he's emo-eating at the spot.
13:11Let's fucking roll.
13:16So, uh, therapy, how's that going?
13:18I don't know, it's a lot.
13:20I kind of lost myself after the whole Hummer thing.
13:23I don't know why I attract the guys that I attract.
13:25Hmm, he's probably your son.
13:27Yo, no sign of your speed.
13:29I don't even think he came here.
13:30But I did grab hella shit.
13:32Chili chicken, haka chow mein, ginger fish.
13:35You guys are chili panier too, right?
13:36I'm vegetarian.
13:38Shit, I'll be right back.
13:39No, Sonny, you already took forever.
13:41We gotta go.
13:42What do you want from me?
13:43He's hungry.
13:43Yo, Sonny.
13:44Chill.
13:45Sonny.
13:45Sonny.
13:46Sonny.
13:47Great, no one's here.
13:48He goes to the lake to clear his head.
13:50I don't know.
13:51You guys mind if I smoke a joint?
13:53Absolutely not.
13:54There's only one way of consuming thong, bro.
13:56That's too fucking rugga.
13:57Think about it.
13:57You got to be on the battlefield proper like a warrior standing there.
14:00Yo.
14:01What the fuck did I say?
14:05Sorry, sorry, sorry.
14:06Canjera?
14:06Wait, you don't think that he pulled up to?
14:11No.
14:13No, he wouldn't.
14:15Wait, did he have?
14:35So, is it just you two in the house today?
14:38Ah, nice.
14:40Nice.
14:41So, no one else.
14:42Nobody at all.
14:43I know Manvi's away on vacation, but I know you two have a lot of family, people coming by.
14:50You know, did anyone come by?
14:51Maybe they came through the basement, or the back door is sometimes open.
14:56Sometimes people get old, and they look different.
14:58Strange relatives.
14:59Anyone?
15:00Anyone?
15:01Okay.
15:02What is this all, Tamasha?
15:04What she's trying to ask, badly.
15:06Did just me come by?
15:07Why?
15:08Is he okay?
15:09Did you call him?
15:10Yeah, no, no, no, auntie.
15:11He's fine.
15:12He's just, he's not picking up his phone.
15:14Why would he not pick up your calls?
15:16Did something happen?
15:17No, no, no, no, no.
15:18He was just with us earlier, but he...
15:20He forgot something at home, and went to go pick it up.
15:25So maybe, we thought he meant this home.
15:48I'm just kidding.
16:10I'm just kidding.
16:21Hello?
16:27Hello?
16:29Is everything okay?
16:33You all right?
16:40Oh, hey, man.
16:43Just breathe?
16:44Wait, what are you doing here?
16:47Is this real?
16:48Are you, are you real?
16:51Yeah, I'm real.
16:53What are you doing here?
16:55Are you living in your car?
17:05You see that house down the street?
17:10That was the house, man.
17:13The house that Mia bought me.
17:15We're supposed to move into before.
17:18Oh, she ripped my heart out of my chest and just...
17:24Now it's just standing there.
17:26Unfinished.
17:28Just like my hopes and dreams.
17:32Okay, you can still finish the house, man.
17:35You can still finish the house, man.
17:35You can move in yourself.
17:37You think I have money like that anymore?
17:39You think I'm not losing bidding war to Chad GPT?
17:44Us realtors, we're washed, man.
17:47Do you know how that feels?
17:49Mr. Dollar of you?
17:52Look, man.
17:55I got my heart broken, too.
17:57And what's worse is she's back with her ex.
18:01And she's engaged.
18:04It sucks, man.
18:06I know.
18:06It's weird how fast things change.
18:09It's tough to keep up.
18:11Like, how am I supposed to stay relevant with any of this when everyone's an influencer just pumping out a
18:16bunch of nothing?
18:17I feel washed.
18:21But I just breathed by the wall.
18:25Had a plan.
18:28Marriage.
18:29Kids.
18:30Run for Mayor Brampton.
18:31Kids.
18:32Hit a million followers and more kids.
18:34Yeah, look.
18:36Sometimes you don't need a plan.
18:38Okay?
18:39Sometimes you just need to leave some things unfinished, like your house.
18:44Look, man.
18:46You're a smart guy, all right?
18:48And as much as I hate to admit it, there's been so many times I wanted to be like you.
18:52But this?
18:54Just sitting here crying about something that could have been?
18:57It's pathetic.
18:58So get up off your ass and stop moping around like a little bitch.
19:10Oh, shit.
19:11I just realized something.
19:13You're a brother.
19:15My brother.
19:16You can bring Monvi back to me.
19:19Oh.
19:20Yeah.
19:21What?
19:21Yeah, you can convince her that I'm the best she'll ever have.
19:25Yeah.
19:26Yeah, yeah.
19:26You can have my house, man.
19:28I'll even finish the floor for you.
19:30Where's my...
19:31Where's my key?
19:32You can have my whip, man.
19:33You can have my keys.
19:34Take it all.
19:35I'll just...
19:35Please, man.
19:36Just bring her back to me.
19:37I don't know what to do.
19:39I can't sleep.
19:41Where's my whip?
19:42I don't know.
19:42I thought we were bros, man.
19:44We're almost...
19:45We're almost...
19:46Just bring her back to me, Monvies.
19:47I really can't.
19:51I can't do anything.
19:52I can't think about anything.
19:57I can't.
19:58I can't.
19:59I can't.
19:59I can't.
19:59I can't.
19:59I can't.
20:01I can't.
20:02I can't.
20:04I can't.
20:12Everything okay, P.J.?
20:14Yes, babe.
20:15I'm glad you all are here.
20:16It's nice to have the house full.
20:22Oh, he's at his spot.
20:23Who?
20:24Just me.
20:25I have his location.
20:27Are you dumb?
20:29Why didn't you mention this before?
20:30Because my phone was dead.
20:31I have a charger in my car.
20:33Cars can charge phones?
20:34That's incredible.
20:36You know what?
20:37Just forget it.
20:38Let's make moves.
20:39Yeah.
20:39Bye, auntie.
20:40Neil, hold on one minute, please.
20:43Uncle.
20:45There's such a hot picture of young Guru Nanak.
20:48So handsome.
20:50Either way, you shouldn't have pictures of Gurus in your home.
20:53It's wrong.
20:54Tell him.
20:55I love you.
20:56Love you, love you, love you.
20:57Tell him.
20:57Also, I'm listening to which you're going.
21:00Here, give this to Jasmim.
21:02You'll be seeing him before I do.
21:04Okay.
21:05Okay, good.
21:05Watch me.
21:12Stupid.
21:17Hey, there's Waldo.
21:20Guru Waldo.
21:22We called you like a million fucking times.
21:24FYI.
21:24Where the hell were you, man?
21:25We've been ripping it up and down so I got a scarves.
21:28Yeah, look, sorry.
21:29I just, I needed some space.
21:31Yo, how do you keep letting this girl run laps in your head?
21:34You know, you could just talk to us instead of running off.
21:36I know.
21:38You're still not over it.
21:39This guy's never going to get over it.
21:41He needs a chair to cross the face.
21:43Johnny, don't be so judgmental.
21:44What are you talking about?
21:44Brown trauma's a real thing.
21:46What trauma?
21:46What trauma?
21:47Take time.
21:48See how these things take.
21:49Here.
21:49You and this guy smash me.
21:53Yeah.
21:54Come over here.
21:58Holy.
21:59Can't fight parking for hell, this city.
22:01It's your place, eh?
22:03No pictures of the gurus, eh?
22:05That's a shame.
22:07What the hell is he doing here?
22:08Buddy, are you fucked?
22:09If it wasn't for me, these drunk idiots wouldn't get here alive.
22:11All right.
22:12Well, thanks, I guess.
22:17Look, guys, I appreciate you.
22:22I just want you to know that.
22:24I appreciate you when you tolerate me going through all my dumb emo depresso lopey phases
22:33and still sticking by me.
22:37So, thank you.
22:39Thank you for the gifts.
22:42Thank you for the party.
22:44Thank you for just keeping me in check.
22:47Thank you for just everything that you do for me.
22:53I love you guys.
22:54I love you.
22:55Aw.
22:56Come on.
22:57I love you guys so much.
23:00Oh, boy.
23:00We've been on each other for so long.
23:02Yeah.
23:03May our bonds remain together.
23:06Okay.
23:26Excuse me.
23:35Hello?
23:37Yes, sir.
23:37It's a great call.
23:40No, you didn't get hurt.
23:44No, you didn't get hurt.
23:47Okay, okay.
23:49What do you say to me?
23:49I'm going to fly the information away.
23:52Okay, okay, okay.
23:56I'm busy, I'm busy.
23:58Okay.
24:00After that, I decided to do it.
24:03Let's go.
24:04Let's go.
24:04I'm going to take a bite.
24:06It's open.
24:08One way to take it.
24:16Thank you so much for coming.
24:18Appreciate you.
24:19This has been an incredible birthday.
24:21Okay.
24:22All right, beauty.
24:22I hope your house is in trash.
24:26Yo.
24:27Bye.
24:27Love you.
24:28Love you.
24:30Your mom asked me to do this.
24:36Nice.
24:37Thanks.
24:37Got it.
24:38Love you.
24:39All right, man.
24:40Happy birthday.
24:40Thank you, bro.
24:42Can I sleep here?
24:44Sure.
24:46Hell yeah.
24:48See you in the morning.
24:49Yep.
24:51Thanks.
25:18See you in the morning.
25:22Hello?
25:23Sister Gal.
25:28Yeah.
25:29No, I'm good, Mom.
25:30Yeah.
25:33Yeah, I miss you too.
25:37I tried picking her up, but I couldn't.
25:39She grew that much overnight.
25:41It blows my fucking mind.
25:41Wait, which daughter is this again?
25:43One of the middle ones?
25:45Anyways, how are things at home?
25:47Yeah, you know, Dad's away, so it's no me doing everything.
25:52What about your new girl?
25:53Uh, she got messy.
25:55So I think I'm going to be single for a while, probably.
25:58You know what?
25:59You do you.
26:01Oh, shit.
26:02I totally forgot I have therapy in 10.
26:04I gotta go, sonny.
26:05Hey, yo.
26:06You can use one of my spare offices.
26:08I mean, the Wi-Fi is shit, because these guys watch Cracked Odyssey Reels all day, but
26:12it should hold.
26:13Really?
26:14Yeah, yeah.
26:14It's right there.
26:16Okay, thanks.
26:16I'll be quick.
26:17Yeah, no problem.
26:22Shinta!
26:23Yo, Shinta!
26:24Yes, brother.
26:26Oh, come on.
26:26I'm back to work.
26:28I'll check it out, brother.
26:29It's very funny, man.
26:30You don't have time to read, brother.
26:32Load it in the fucking truck.
26:34Go!
26:35No, no, no, no, no.
26:36Just a little back problems.
26:39A little break.
26:40Okay.
26:41I'm going to break you.
26:42You drive the truck.
26:43You drive the truck.
26:44Yeah.
26:52Okay.
26:55Good to go.
26:59I guess we're good to fucking go, man.
27:01Let's grab the seats and let's roll out.
27:02Go where, bro?
27:03The engine's literally on the ground.
27:05Fuck.
27:05Does anybody know how to put this together?
27:07Is it all-wheel drive?
27:08Yeah.
27:09No, I don't know how.
27:11Fuck.
27:11We're going to be late as fuck, man.
27:12Fuck.
27:13I told you we should have flown, man.
27:15Fuck.
27:17Okay, you know what?
27:19I know what to call.
27:23Yo.
27:24Son.
27:26Yeah, what's up?
27:28Yeah, man.
27:31Hey.
27:32How come you don't look like a vampire anymore?
27:34Oh, I broke up with my girlfriend.
27:37This is all that's left.
27:46Yes, babe.
27:47Told you I was going away this weekend.
27:50Right before we left.
27:51How else am I supposed to make money?
27:54Just get Mom to watch him.
27:56Holy fuck.
27:57Relax.
27:58You always do this shit.
27:59Fuck, man.
28:01Hey.
28:03You got a lot of anger in here.
28:05I can hold space if you want.
28:07This book says that feelings need to be birthed and pushed out of your emotional cervix.
28:11What are you talking about?
28:12All right.
28:12Good news.
28:13It's got a little sunny.
28:14He's got a guy coming through the border.
28:15He just hit your ride with him.
28:17Nice.
28:18Probably take the car, too.
28:19Sick.
28:22No way, man.
28:23No way, man.
28:24No way, man.
28:24No way, man.
28:24No way, man.
28:25No way, man.
28:26Everything looks good.
28:27You guys are good to go.
28:28Here we go.
28:28You guys have a safe trip, okay?
28:30Take care of him.
28:32Nice car, by the way.
28:33Fucking white people.
28:36So why do you feel like you got into that relationship?
28:40I don't know.
28:40I just...
28:40I don't...
28:42I don't even know how I ended up with a guy like Umair.
28:44It was nice to be taken care of.
28:46I'm used to being the one who takes care of everyone else.
28:48Especially at home.
28:50I take care of my mom, my younger sisters.
28:52My dad was always on the road growing up, so I didn't really have a choice.
28:55Well, because you're the eldest, right?
28:58Oftentimes, the eldest child picks up the slack when the parents are lacking.
29:02But I feel stupid for having Mr. Red Flags with him.
29:05That's just not me.
29:08Anyways, this is why I'm only going to date women from now.
29:11But the most recent time felt kind of boring, I guess.
29:14I don't know.
29:15Tell me, Chippy.
29:17Are you looking for relationships to feel dramatic?
29:20Look.
29:21Whomever you choose to date, it seems like you need to get to the root cause of why you attract
29:24these dynamics.
29:28What do you mean?
29:30Well...
29:30It just means being accountable for your patterns.
29:32My...
29:33Me?
29:33I'm the victim.
29:35He's the one who needs to be held accountable.
29:36Him and all the other men.
29:37Fuck the fact!
29:39Alright, that's fucking it.
29:40What?
29:41Shut the fuck up!
29:43I'm already fucking pissed for being gaslit in therapy.
29:45Don't a lot of fucks have anything else to do?
29:47Holy shit!
29:49Sorry, ma'am.
29:50Sorry.
29:51Fuck sake!
29:57What were you saying again?
29:58You know, maybe we should just switch gears a little bit.
30:03And talk about the anger.
30:05What anger?
30:06Okay, they have this place called Guns and Buns.
30:09You can get a gun and a burger.
30:11Oh, my gosh.
30:12I think this is our truck.
30:16Oh, dude!
30:18Oh, shit!
30:19Tiljod!
30:19Come on in, bro!
30:20What's up?
30:21Oh, this is my cousin Jasmeet.
30:23How are you?
30:23How are you?
30:24And this is his...
30:26This is his Navi.
30:28How are you?
30:28How are you?
30:29How are you?
30:29How are you?
30:30How are you?
30:31Bro, thank you so much for bringing us up.
30:33Of course!
30:33Of course!
30:36All you Canadian ones say bro a lot.
30:38Yo, bro.
30:38Got it, bro.
30:40Hemorrhage, bro.
30:41This thing, bro.
30:43All right, we're basically just saying Paji.
30:45If you think about it, our bro to Paji ratio is the exact same.
30:49Paji this, Paji that, Paji.
30:51Oh, Chaka Paji.
30:52Chaka Paji.
30:52Paji, bro, bro, Paji.
30:53Paji, bro, bro, Paji.
30:54There's literally no difference, man.
30:56We all have that inner drive to say that word.
31:01So you nervous to host it?
31:04Uh...
31:05Not really, man.
31:06I've done so many of these, it's like clockwork.
31:08Too many.
31:09At this point.
31:11Come on, bro.
31:12A gig's a gig.
31:12You know that, man.
31:13Oh, I'm sure you'll be great, Paji.
31:15Thanks, man.
31:16For how long have you been driving truck for Sunny?
31:19Uh...
31:20Just under a year.
31:21Does he like, tell you what you're picking up?
31:24Do you know what's bad there?
31:25Uh...
31:25Tires, you know.
31:26Usually.
31:27Probably.
31:28No, I had to help pay tons of debt and some medical bills back home.
31:32And...
31:33This has been keeping me steady.
31:35That's good, man.
31:36As long as it's honest work, man.
31:37You never know about that guy.
31:38Oh, nothing like that, Paji.
31:40Pikulni.
31:41I'm just grateful to Sunny, Paji.
31:43He's been keeping me employed as I look for a job in my field.
31:46Well, he's running.
31:48You want to get a job in a field?
31:51Yeah, I'm a farmer back home, so looking for a job in my field.
31:54Yeah, yeah, yeah.
31:56In his field.
31:57In his field.
31:57In my...
31:58Well, you have to go back there to work in your field.
31:59Are you telling me to go back?
32:00No!
32:01No!
32:01No!
32:03Man!
32:04Bro!
32:05Bro!
32:07Hey, yo, hello.
32:08Hey, yo, bang.
32:09Get back here.
32:10At the end.
32:11Posted on the block.
32:12Dude, I live there.
32:13Man, I had Jafunga, man.
32:14I need you to come pull up on me.
32:15Ain't no thing, no.
32:16I got that police phone.
32:18I got that police phone.
32:18Hey, man.
32:19I got it.
32:20I got it.
32:20I got it.
32:21I got it.
32:21I got it.
32:22I got it.
32:25Hey, sir.
32:26How are you, sir?
32:27I got it.
32:30Hey, man.
32:32Hey, man.
32:33Hey, man.
32:34Hey, man.
32:34You're not going to get to the job.
32:36Sorry, man.
32:37I didn't know my work for a couple of days.
32:39It's not bad.
32:41How do you respect me?
32:41Bro, bro.
32:42How do you respect me?
32:43It's not that we don't respect you.
32:45It's just that.
32:46I'm just scared of this new supervisor.
32:49Supervisor?
32:50What supervisor?
32:51I didn't know Sri Lanka's girls.
32:54I was a big man.
32:55I was a big man.
32:57Okay.
32:58And I don't want to go with her.
33:14Hi.
33:14Good evening.
33:15Are we checking in?
33:16Yes, we are.
33:17Great.
33:17What name is the reservation under?
33:19It should be under your name, man.
33:21You got this, right?
33:22I'm going to go get some animal order.
33:23Okay.
33:24Hey, I saw on Yelp that you guys give a cookie when you check in.
33:28Can I get that now?
33:30Yeah.
33:31Yeah.
33:32Cool.
33:36Is that gluten free?
33:38Yes, it is.
33:39Okay.
33:39Then I don't want it.
33:41Oh.
33:41Yeah.
33:42Okay.
33:43I'll be back.
33:45Yeah, sorry about that.
33:47It's okay.
33:48Okay.
33:49Anyways, the name should be under a first name just to meet the last name Dutta.
33:52Okay.
33:53How do you spell?
33:54D-U-T-T-A.
33:55Okay.
33:57Yeah, sorry.
33:58I'm not seeing anything under that name.
33:59Could it be under anything else?
34:01Um, just to meet Swirled?
34:05Uh, yes.
34:06Okay.
34:07We do have that.
34:08Great.
34:08Great.
34:09Mr. Swirled.
34:10Yeah.
34:10Uh, just a government ID and credit card for incidentals.
34:13Oof.
34:18Okay.
34:20Oh.
34:21Okay.
34:22Uh, sorry, Mr. Dutta.
34:24Uh, yeah, the name on the ID actually has to match the name on the room.
34:27We're looking for Mr. Swirled.
34:29Yeah, that's just my stage name.
34:31Okay.
34:32But I would still need an ID saying that, though, sir.
34:35Yeah, but that's me.
34:37It's, I'm Mr. Swirled.
34:38It's literally me on the flyer.
34:45Oh, yeah.
34:46You look great on that.
34:48But, um, yeah, no, I still would need to see ID.
34:51It's policy.
34:52Seriously?
34:54Can we get a selfie, please?
34:57Sure.
35:04Sorry.
35:05I already bent the rules on the cookie.
35:08Okay.
35:09Yo, Nubby.
35:10Yeah.
35:10Can you call the organizers?
35:11They booked the room under the wrong name.
35:13Yeah, just check again, man.
35:14I'm sure they have, man.
35:15Bro.
35:16Just do your job, please.
35:19Always making me do this.
35:20Get back and make fun.
35:22Whatever.
35:22Do this.
35:23Do that.
35:27Hello.
35:29Hello.
35:29Yeah, I need one of you guys to come down.
35:31Hello.
35:32I need one of you guys to come.
35:34These guys can't hear a goddamn thing, man.
35:36They sound drunk.
35:37They're partying or some shit.
35:38Hello?
35:41Hey, uh, it's just me.
35:43Uh, just me?
35:45The guy that's emceeing your competition?
35:47Yo, yo, yo, yo, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
35:48Bro, you gotta get your ass to the mixer right now.
35:50It's so late right now, bro.
35:51Look, uh, we're at the front desk right now, and you can't check in, because the name is-
35:55Oh, shit, they're playing Raju Chacha.
35:57I'm on piano remix.
35:59Oh.
35:59You seriously booked it under Mr. Swirl?
36:01Yeah.
36:02Sorry.
36:03But he can change his name, right?
36:05Legally?
36:06Hello?
36:28Hey, boom.
36:29Yo, Henals, wonder the ball.
36:32Are you kidding me?
36:33Just me?
36:34Holy shit.
36:35Dude.
36:37What are you doing here?
36:38I haven't seen you since, like, sick camp days.
36:40This is wild.
36:40Don't you live in Jersey?
36:41Yeah, but I'm here to support my sister.
36:43She's competing.
36:45I was actually kinda hoping I'd bump into you.
36:46You've accomplished so much.
36:48I'm watching you from a distance like the little stalker that I am.
36:51Really?
36:51Okay.
36:52Um, full disclosure.
36:54your videos pop up on my feed, like, all the time.
36:57Wow. Really embarrassed.
36:59Yes, I am also a stalker. I know.
37:02Also, you go by Maya now?
37:04Yeah. Yeah, it's, you know, just to make life easier.
37:07And also just to remind myself that everything in life is really an illusion.
37:11Yo, just me.
37:12Okay.
37:12All right.
37:13I'll see you, bro.
37:14Okay.
37:15Hey, Owen, we've got no rooms available.
37:17There's a motel, like, 30 minutes down the street.
37:19We've got vacancies.
37:20All right, let me call a number.
37:22Wait, you guys don't have a place to crash?
37:24And you're hosting the competition?
37:26Yeah, there's some sort of name mixed up, and the organizers are all drunk, so.
37:31Well, hey, why don't you take my room?
37:33I'll crash with my sister.
37:35What? No.
37:36No, no, no. Don't be ridiculous, man.
37:37No, trust me. Just me.
37:38She would probably want that anyways.
37:40With how nervous she is.
37:42Uh.
37:45Okay.
37:46Uh, yeah.
37:47Yeah, that'd be awesome.
37:48Thank you. Are you sure?
37:49I'm sure. I got you.
37:51I'll just get my stuff out of there, and you're good to go.
37:53Thank you so much.
37:53You're a lifestreamer. Oh, my God.
37:55It's nice being you.
37:59Damn.
38:00I'm going to smash that happy chick away.
38:04What?
38:04Manager's got to eat, too, bro.
38:06Dude.
38:07I kissed the hotel girl.
38:09Really?
38:10What's she taste like?
38:12She tastes like hotel.
38:13Okay, let's go.
38:14Get your bags, man.
38:15Let's go.
38:16Hotel?
38:16What does hotel taste like?
38:21Heading out?
38:22Yeah.
38:23And hey, thank you so much for letting me use your office.
38:25Sorry I was here all day.
38:26I just, I got so much work done.
38:28Not just therapy.
38:30Take it.
38:31What?
38:32Take the space.
38:33It's yours.
38:34Whenever you need it.
38:35Design work, therapy, 16 chapel, the ceiling.
38:39I don't care.
38:40Whatever.
38:40Free of charge.
38:42Sistine chapel, Sonny.
38:43What?
38:44And that's really nice, but why?
38:45Dude, today's been one of the most productive days here in a minute.
38:49Your presence, it's like, it's keeping my guys in line.
38:52Did you pick that shit up from your dad?
38:54Oh, yeah.
38:55You know how many of my dad's scary-ass trucker buddies
38:57that used to get to buy me candy as a kid?
38:59That was cute.
39:00Terrifying, but cute.
39:01I mean, just keep acting like the supervisor,
39:03and everything the light touches is yours.
39:07Okay.
39:08Sure.
39:15Not only does Guasha increase your blood circulation,
39:18which makes you look more alive and awake,
39:20but if you add healing stones,
39:22this adds an extra healing component.
39:24Now, this specific Guasha is infused with petrahertz.
39:28I'd like to go ahead and thank Jade Baby
39:29for sending me this beautiful Guasha,
39:31and use my code MAYA15 for 15% off.
39:41Hi, Jasmeet.
39:42How are we doing?
39:43Feeling good?
39:44No, we're not happy.
39:45I'll take care of this, man.
39:47What the fuck was up with last night?
39:49You had us waiting in the fucking lobby, man?
39:51Are you out getting fucking drunk?
39:53I'm sorry.
39:55I hit the parties that we were at.
39:56Yo, you really thought his last name was Swirled?
39:59Fuck, come on, man!
40:00No, I booked it while I was studying for my chem intern.
40:03So sorry.
40:04Sorry is not good enough, Dr. Saab.
40:06And look at this green room.
40:07It's not private.
40:08And it's fucking bare, man.
40:09We have chips and water.
40:11What is this, a grade five birthday party, bro?
40:14What more do you want, dude?
40:15Can they get us some fucking steak,
40:16some kebabs, some sushi,
40:18some bottles of fucking Ciroc,
40:20some crown?
40:21I don't know if I can get all that in time.
40:22No, no, no.
40:23You will.
40:24Otherwise, we're not doing the show.
40:26Jasmeet is an icon, kid.
40:28How's the fucking respect?
40:30Hey, I'll get right on it.
40:33Yeah, that's right.
40:34Can you believe this fucking guy?
40:37Was all that necessary?
40:38He was like some Vegeta college kid.
40:39You can't keep lowering their standards, man.
40:41They'll never respect you
40:42if you let him keep getting away with this.
40:45I'm asking for Ciroc bottles
40:46in the middle of the day.
40:49Yo, manager's got to eat, too.
40:50Plus, it'll help you get over
40:52your pre-show jitters,
40:53you know what I mean?
40:54Damn.
40:55Jasmeet.
40:58All right.
40:58Good luck, guys.
41:03Bro, it's a full house.
41:06There's got to be like
41:07a hundred people out there.
41:08This is a 1,400 seat theater, bro.
41:12I'm on my glasses.
41:13Okay.
41:14Ladies and gentlemen,
41:15please welcome
41:16the massive internet sensation
41:18and one of the funniest voices
41:20of our generation,
41:21the heartthrob himself.
41:23Give it up for...
41:25friend!
41:28Hey, y'all.
41:29Congrats for 25 years
41:30of the North American
41:31South Asian
41:32talent competition.
41:34I mean,
41:34that's unbelievably huge
41:35and I would have loved
41:36to be there in person
41:37to celebrate this milestone
41:38with you guys,
41:39but your boy
41:40is guest judging
41:41the masked singer
41:42this week.
41:43I know.
41:44And I'm still hosting
41:45public competitions.
41:46Just get out there
41:48and do your job, bro.
41:49Just focus.
41:50Love you all.
41:51Make sure you kill it.
41:52And you know what they say?
41:53Graham means love.
41:54Graham, out.
41:57All right.
41:58Now give it up
41:59for our host of the night,
42:01Jasmeet Dutta.
42:03All right!
42:04Woo!
42:05Yes!
42:06Give it up for me!
42:07That evening that came out
42:08way too early.
42:09Oh my God.
42:10The way he lasts
42:11a successful internet guy.
42:13That's not as hot as him.
42:15I'm here with you tonight!
42:17Isn't that fun?
42:18I'm excited!
42:21Oh, man.
42:22I just ran into
42:23one of the Panganath teams backstage.
42:26We gotta talk about your names.
42:27First of all,
42:28they're way too long.
42:29Okay, the team I ran backstage,
42:31Soni, Gabru, Mitre, Punjab,
42:32Nachi, Hasnit, Tapu,
42:34Giovanni Scheradi,
42:36Toronto Division.
42:37Like, that's way too long, okay?
42:39You know how to put
42:40the whole
42:41stubby dictionary
42:42into your days?
42:43You're all right, man?
42:44You seem stressed.
42:46Jhanani's brother
42:46is always
42:47freaking tripping, man.
42:49Well, as a recent survivor
42:51of an unconscious uncoupling,
42:53I can tell that
42:54you're brushing me off
42:55because you're avoiding
42:55your emotions.
42:57But I'm here for you, man.
43:00Bro,
43:01go and take some pictures, man.
43:02Aren't you the social media guy?
43:04I don't even have my phone.
43:05What the fuck?
43:06What's wrong with you, man?
43:07Well, I gotta take this phone call, man.
43:10Just...
43:10God.
43:10I got you.
43:13Oh, man.
43:14Yeah, we got the music, man.
43:15It's an interesting pocket, man.
43:16It feels like we just now
43:18entered our 2000s era.
43:20We're still like 20,
43:2125 years behind.
43:22I mean, everybody's wearing
43:23baggy jeans now.
43:25They got blue
43:25track suits.
43:27Cheney's walking around
43:28in a pink fur coat.
43:30You're probably like,
43:30bro, you're not camera.
43:31You know what I mean?
43:33Honestly, the only thing
43:34we're missing
43:35is John Rule.
43:36The real John Rule.
43:37Not Dr. Seuss's
43:38blue leg John Rule.
43:39I hope he's doing well
43:39wherever he is.
43:40But the real John Rule
43:41popping on a track
43:42and just being like,
43:42me, I don't care.
43:44Murda!
43:45That's the only thing.
43:47But we're gonna have fun
43:48regardless.
43:49So let's give it up
43:50for our first team.
43:51I'm not saying their name.
43:52We're gonna talk about this.
43:53Put your hands together.
43:55Let's do it!
43:56Woo!
44:01Healed it.
44:14This guy was on his phone.
44:16He must be using
44:17so much data.
44:18He's using our hotspot.
44:35Yo!
44:36Shout out to my boy
44:38Jesse for killing it tonight!
44:41And all you sexy fucking girls!
44:43I fucking love
44:44Thunderdark competition!
44:46Woo!
44:47Shots, baby!
44:48Woo!
44:49Woo!
44:51Yeah!
44:52Shots!
44:54Yo, can you tell your manager
44:55to be careful?
44:56The deposit in this room
44:57is really steep.
44:58Woo!
44:59Shots!
45:00Woo!
45:04Shit!
45:04Yo, it's my boy.
45:05Hey, everybody
45:05shut the fuck up!
45:08Hey, babe.
45:10Yeah?
45:11No, I'm just
45:12I'm here with the boys.
45:13We're just
45:14we're just about to go to sleep.
45:16Yo, there's no one
45:17in the room.
45:18Yo, shut the fuck up!
45:22Yeah.
45:23No, I didn't put it on you.
45:25What are you talking about?
45:27Hey, let me
45:28let me go to a better area, okay?
45:30Yo, man.
45:31Take care of the girls, okay?
45:33Yeah, yo.
45:34Why are you always tripping?
45:35Like, seriously.
45:40It's trippy.
45:42Alright, I'm gonna take care
45:43of the girls.
45:45Hello?
45:47Uh, hi.
45:48Do any women here
45:49need water?
45:51No?
45:52Just let me know
45:53if any of the guys
45:54are acting
45:55aggressive
45:56or inappropriate.
45:58I'm here.
45:59Yo, how'd it go?
46:00Uh, I don't know, man.
46:02I just feel like
46:02I'm an autopilot
46:03at these things.
46:04So then why
46:04do you still do them?
46:05So nobody can get away
46:06from his wife for the weekend?
46:07Like, what else
46:08am I supposed to do?
46:08Put yourself in new places.
46:10You know,
46:11sometimes
46:12you might find
46:13a creative spark
46:14in the random spots.
46:16Yeah,
46:16I guess you're right.
46:17Oh, dude.
46:18Guess who I ran into?
46:20Who?
46:20My first kiss.
46:22Where?
46:22At the competition.
46:24Isn't that crazy?
46:25And I think
46:25she might be single.
46:26So what are you doing
46:27still talking to me, loser?
46:28Go, find out!
46:29Alright, I'm gonna get out
46:30of this workhouse after party.
46:31I'll talk to you later, eh?
46:32Peace.
46:34Okay, bye.
46:37Shit!
46:38I might just have to make
46:39official uniform for my guys.
46:41These designs are sick!
46:42Yeah?
46:42Thanks, honey.
46:43Okay, well, look,
46:43I'll send you an invoice
46:44to get the work started.
46:46Yo,
46:46I give this girl
46:47a free office
46:48and somehow
46:48I'm getting charged?
46:50Is that what you're learning
46:50in therapy
46:51some reverse psychology shit?
46:53I like this.
47:11Sometimes I feel like
47:12my wife fucking hates me.
47:13Like, I just want to
47:14live and enjoy life.
47:16I probably don't even
47:17love her anymore.
47:18She probably doesn't
47:19even love me.
47:20We were never
47:21fucking compatible.
47:23I am so proud of you
47:24for opening up to me.
47:27We stayed together
47:28because of the kids.
47:29That's the way
47:29I was raised.
47:31You know,
47:32you feel me?
47:33I feel so trapped,
47:35man.
47:36So alone.
47:37Yeah.
47:38Yeah.
47:38This is a
47:39huge first step.
47:42Okay?
47:43You can't heal
47:43what you can't name.
47:45Fuck!
47:47You're so chill
47:48when I'm in my life.
47:50Thank you, bro.
47:51Here.
47:53One sec.
47:54One sec.
47:55Hey!
47:55Get the fuck out!
47:57He's having a
47:58breakthrough, man.
48:01Hey.
48:03I love you.
48:06Don't say that, man.
48:07I barely know you.
48:20Wow!
48:21Look who it is.
48:22Hiding out from your
48:23rabbit pants.
48:25I'll just take a little
48:26break.
48:26Enjoy the view.
48:27Mmm.
48:29So, how did you like it?
48:31It was good.
48:31It was good.
48:32Your, um,
48:33auntie jokes were,
48:34uh, so fresh.
48:35Oh, my God.
48:36You're not even
48:36going to torture me.
48:39Hey, um,
48:40can I be honest with you?
48:42Sure.
48:43I feel like you have
48:45funnier stuff
48:45you could be doing.
48:47Wow.
48:49Yeah, no,
48:49you're right,
48:50but it's just,
48:51isn't the right crowd.
48:52Okay.
48:53Well, when you find
48:54the right crowd,
48:54let me know.
48:55I'll come watch.
48:57You're going to come
48:57all the way up
48:58to Toronto?
48:59Yeah.
49:00Really?
49:00Yeah.
49:01You know,
49:02Toronto's actually
49:02next on my list.
49:04Okay.
49:05Well,
49:06if you ever need
49:08a place to crash,
49:09I can return the favor.
49:11Oh, okay.
49:13Well, I might actually
49:13take you up on that.
49:15Okay.
49:19That reminds me of
49:20when we, uh,
49:21snuck out to watch
49:22the stars that night.
49:24Oh, my God.
49:25Wow.
49:26That was crazy.
49:28Yeah.
49:29You know,
49:30that was actually
49:31my first kiss.
49:33Mine, too.
49:34Really?
49:35Yeah.
49:37Hmm.
49:39Also,
49:39I totally didn't
49:40apologize for how
49:41much spit and
49:42slobber and
49:43drool I got
49:44all over your face,
49:45so I was new at it,
49:46actually.
49:47All good.
49:47And I'm way better now.
49:49Oh.
49:50Yeah.
49:50Hmm.
49:51Well,
49:51I'll be the judge of that.
49:54Yeah.
49:55Mm-hmm.
50:14It's like, uh,
50:1610% less wet.
50:18Okay.
50:18That's an improvement.
50:20Maybe if I keep practicing,
50:21I'll, uh,
50:21I'll get there.
50:22Oh, you want to keep practicing?
50:23Yeah, practice makes perfect.
50:25Oh.
50:26Yeah.
50:27It's the only way
50:27to perfection.
50:29I try,
50:30try.
50:30You all right?