- 5 hours ago
Divorcing the Obsessive Billionaire - Full EP⬆️
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00:00Before I met Silas, my life was anything but easy.
00:03My mother, Mary, had a weakness for a handsome face.
00:06She fell hard and fast, sleeping with my father without bothering to dig into his background.
00:10Then she got pregnant.
00:12It was only after I was born that she realized the man she loved belonged to New York's old money
00:18elite,
00:18the kind of wealth where a casual wave of his hand could have set her up for life.
00:22The catch?
00:23My father, Richard, was nothing more than a glorified gold detcher.
00:26He had married into the Sterling family to climb the social ladder.
00:30My mother was just his dirty little secret.
00:36When his wife, Eleanor, found out, all hell broke loose.
00:42Richard always acted like a king around my mother, but in front of Eleanor, he cowered like a beaten dog.
00:48Richard, please look at her! She's your daughter!
00:51Get out!
00:54My mother struggled to raise me alone.
00:56We scraped by.
00:57She worked a food cart in the cold rain,
00:59pulled cheap trinkets on the street,
01:01and ran blindly from municipal police
01:03until her lungs burned and one of her shoes came off.
01:08Eventually, she reached her breaking point.
01:10She swore she was going to get me a better life.
01:12I have no idea how she managed it,
01:13but she secured a certified DNA test proving Richard was my father.
01:17She showed up at the gates of the Sterling estate,
01:19screaming until her voice gave out,
01:21demanding he take me in.
01:22Terrified of a public scandal,
01:24the elitowit pricks finally caved.
01:26That was the day I was torn away from her.
01:30Serena, you'll never go to bed hungry again.
01:32But she was so incredibly naive.
01:35Richard looked at me like a stain on his tailored suit,
01:38and Eleanor loathed my very breathing.
01:42The household staff followed their lead,
01:44treating me like I was invisible,
01:46like I was trash.
01:48And my half-sisters?
01:50They made it their daily mission to make my life a living hell.
01:53My mother never knew any of this, though.
01:56That moment at the estate gates was the last time I ever saw her.
01:59She had terminal cancer and couldn't afford the medical bills.
02:02Once she knew I was inside,
02:04she walked straight into the freezing river
02:06and let the current take her.
02:07I grew up in the Sterling house as their so-called adopted daughter,
02:11walking on eggshells every single day.
02:13When I was 15, I stumbled upon a boy in the estate's garden.
02:16He had sliced his arm open on some rose thorns,
02:19blood dripping down his skin.
02:20Yet, he seemed completely numb to the pain,
02:23staring blankly ahead with his noise-canceling headphones
02:25blocking out the world.
02:27I swallowed my hesitation,
02:28ran back inside,
02:29and grabbed some antiseptic spray and bowed ups.
02:34I carefully cleaned the wound and patched him up.
02:37Only later did I find out his name was Silas Vance.
02:40His grandfather, Arthur, had brought him over for a business dinner.
02:43For whatever twisted reason,
02:45Arthur decided I was the one.
02:47He wanted me to marry his grandson's son.
02:49The Vances were old money.
02:51New York elite.
02:52So naturally, Richard agreed before Arthur could even finish his sentence.
02:56When my stepsisters caught wind of it,
02:58they backed me into a corner,
02:59their malicious laughter echoing in the hall.
03:01You think you hit the jackpot, you little bitch?
03:03If this was a real prize,
03:05do you honestly think he'd hand it to you?
03:08That Silas guy is a total freak.
03:10He's got autism and some manic shit.
03:12He belongs in an asylum, not a marriage.
03:15But because of that engagement to Silas,
03:18Eleanor finally stopped looking at me like I was garbage.
03:21The air in the sterling house shifted.
03:23I could finally breathe without checking over my shoulder.
03:27They stopped the relentless bullying.
03:28During those quiet moments,
03:30my mind always drifted back to that skinny boy in the garden,
03:33lost in his music.
03:34He had no idea that simply existing had pulled me out of my personal hell.
03:38A deep, anchoring sense of gratitude took root in my chest.
03:41I started researching his conditions,
03:43reading every psychology book I could find,
03:46preparing myself for how to survive in his world.
03:49Then, at 20, bound by a contract in the chains of our families,
03:52I put on a white dress and married Silas Vance.
03:55On our wedding night,
03:56the second the bedroom door shut,
03:57he completely lost it.
03:59Get away from me.
04:00Don't you dare stay in my room.
04:02Get out!
04:03I said get the fuck out!
04:03My shoulders slumped,
04:04a hot, suffocating wave of humiliation
04:06burning my cheeks as I stared at the floor.
04:09I kept track of his prescription bottles,
04:11dragged him to his psychiatric appointments.
04:13From then on,
04:15I took over Silas's care,
04:17exhausting myself running between my college classes
04:20and the Vance estate,
04:21managed his strict diet,
04:23and even laid out his clothes.
04:26Thankfully,
04:27Simus wasn't completely made of stone.
04:29Slowly,
04:29he started reacting to my presence.
04:31The scream of get out
04:33faded into silence.
04:34If I passed out on the couch from exhaustion,
04:37I'd wake up with a blanket awkwardly thrown over me.
04:39And once,
04:40when cramps had me curled in a fetal position,
04:43he silently set a heating pad
04:45and a mug of steaming chamomile tea on the nightstand.
04:48But he never touched me,
04:49never shared my bed.
04:51Silas was the sole heir to the Vance Empire,
04:53and Arthur was ruthlessly obsessed
04:55with securing a great-grandson.
04:57He pressured me constantly,
04:58his threats hanging in the air.
05:00You married into the Vance family
05:02to carry on our bloodline.
05:03It's your duty, plain and simple.
05:05But what was I supposed to do?
05:06Silas didn't want me,
05:08and I wasn't going to force him.
05:10Finally,
05:10in our fifth year,
05:11Arthur lost the last of his patience.
05:13Without any warning,
05:15he had his security guards
05:16shove Silas into my bedroom,
05:18lock the heavy oak door from the outside,
05:20trapping us inside
05:21so we'd be forced to consummate the marriage.
05:24When I tried to reach him,
05:26a heavy shard of glass
05:27from a smashed lamp
05:28splashed across my skin,
05:30and the impact of a thrown chair
05:32knocked me to the floor.
05:33By the time the first light of dawn crept in,
05:35the physical and emotional emotion
05:37and exhaust completely crushed me,
05:39and I blacked out on the floor.
05:41The next day at noon,
05:42the sound of something else shattering
05:44jolted me awake.
05:45Silas was still tearing the room apart.
05:47He smashed my phone against the wall,
05:49ripped the TV down,
05:50and kicked the remaining chairs aside.
05:52Seeing me awake,
05:53he stalked over,
05:54clutching an unbroken mirror.
05:55He shoved it in my face.
05:57The mirror showed me
05:58exactly what a wreck I was.
05:59Bruised all over,
06:00clothes torn,
06:01my skin cut by shards
06:02that had flown during his meltdown.
06:04He pointed at my reflection,
06:06his eyes hollow
06:06and filled with pure disgust.
06:09You're filthy.
06:10God, it's disgusting!
06:12I hate you!
06:14Just get out of my sight.
06:16My body felt like
06:17it had been run over
06:18by a truck that day,
06:20my knees buckling with every step.
06:22But the moment his episode peaked,
06:24Silas vanished.
06:26I had no choice
06:27but to go looking for him.
06:28By the time I finally dragged myself
06:30back to the estate gates,
06:31gasping for breath,
06:32it was already one in the morning.
06:34Silas finally returned.
06:35But there was a girl
06:36standing next to him.
06:37She had a sweet,
06:38bright smile
06:39with deep dimbles.
06:40I've never met anyone
06:41who thinks the way I do.
06:42Meeting you was the best part of tonight.
06:44That was when I realized
06:45Silamis had gone to Lincoln Center alone.
06:48His phone had died,
06:49and since he couldn't navigate
06:50his way back,
06:51she had escorted him home.
06:53Silamis was a musical prodigy.
06:55He had studied under masters
06:56and opened his own studio,
06:58composing award-winning pieces.
07:00I just stood there
07:01in the shadows of the porch,
07:02listening.
07:03They talked for 30 minutes,
07:04and he never even noticed
07:05I was there.
07:06It wasn't until Thomas,
07:08the old butler,
07:09couldn't bear to watch anymore
07:10that he finally spoke up.
07:12Mr. Van,
07:13it's getting very late.
07:14You should turn in.
07:16Mrs. Van has been waiting for you.
07:17The girl turned toward the voice,
07:19freezing for a second,
07:20before looking back at Silamis.
07:22Is this your wife?
07:22A flash of extreme discomfort
07:24crossed Silamis' face.
07:25He stayed silent for a moment
07:27before giving a stiff nod.
07:28I don't like her.
07:29I hate her.
07:30The girl's name was Chloe.
07:32Chloe gently tugged at his sleeve,
07:34her eyes curving into a smile.
07:36Well, it is late.
07:37We'll see each other next time.
07:38From that day on,
07:39whatever fragile peace Silas and I
07:41had built completely shattered.
07:42He refused to speak
07:43a single word to me.
07:44For his birthday,
07:45I gifted him a pair of
07:46high-end noise-canceling headphones.
07:48They were known for
07:49pristine audio quality
07:51and were constantly sold out.
07:52I had pre-ordered them
07:54six months in advance,
07:55but Silas just took them,
07:57dropped them on the hardwood floor,
07:59and crushed them under his heel
08:01right in front of me.
08:02I don't like you.
08:03I don't want your crap.
08:04It's garbage.
08:05I don't want it!
08:07He spent that birthday
08:08out with Chloe.
08:09Since their first meeting,
08:11they had stayed in constant contact.
08:13Recently,
08:14she had even started
08:15interning at his studio.
08:17When he came home that night,
08:18there was a silver ring
08:19on his finger,
08:20a birthday gift from her.
08:22Staring at the crushed plastic
08:23and wires of the headphones
08:25on the floor,
08:26a cold, heavy exhaustion
08:27settled deep into my bones.
08:30The next day,
08:31Arthur suddenly called,
08:32demanding I go into
08:33Simus' private study.
08:35He needed a specific file
08:37handed over to his secretary
08:38immediately.
08:39I hesitated.
08:41Silas strictly forbade me
08:42from crossing that threshold.
08:44But Arthur pushed,
08:46insisting it was urgent
08:47and the secretary
08:48was already waiting
08:49at the door.
08:50Swallowing my anxiety,
08:51I went in,
08:52grabbed the file
08:53and meticulously
08:54put everything back
08:56exactly as I found it.
08:57But Silas found out anyway.
08:59His phone was linked
09:00to the smart home security app.
09:01His jaw clenched so tight,
09:03the muscle fluttered,
09:04a dark storm brewing
09:05in his eyes.
09:06You are not allowed in there.
09:08You don't cross that line!
09:10Because I had merely
09:11stepped inside for two minutes
09:12to grab a folder,
09:14he hired a cleaning crew
09:15to scrub the study
09:17from top to bottom.
09:18I stared at him numbly,
09:19the question finally
09:20clawing its way
09:21out of my throat.
09:22Why am I not allowed in?
09:24Lately, you've been
09:25inviting Chloe
09:26to our house all the time.
09:27You two locked themselves
09:28inside that study
09:30for entire days
09:31just talking about music.
09:32Why is Chloe permitted
09:34to go in there,
09:34yet I'm not allowed
09:36to cross the threshold at all?
09:37Why her,
09:38but never me?
09:40Also, I'm not filthy.
09:41Why would you have
09:42a crew scrub the room
09:43just because I walked in?
09:44She is different from you.
09:46She understands music.
09:48She gets it.
09:49You don't.
09:50You walking in there
09:51ruins it.
09:52It wasn't the first time
09:54I had heard those exact words.
09:56Back when I first entered
09:57the Sterling household,
09:59my stepsisters used to scream
10:01the exact same thing at me.
10:03The fight drained out of me
10:04all at once.
10:05I was so damn tired
10:07of living like this.
10:08I wanted a divorce.
10:10Once the thought of divorce
10:11took root in my mind,
10:12it spread like a wild vine.
10:14A week later,
10:15I went to see Arthur Vance.
10:16I looked him in the eye
10:17and told him I was out.
10:18Arthur sat on the massive
10:19leather sofa in his grand estate,
10:21tapping his index finger
10:22rhythmically against
10:23the mahogany table.
10:24Why?
10:25I told him Simus
10:26had found someone he wanted.
10:27Arthur listened
10:28and fell into a long silence.
10:30Finally, he cleared his throat,
10:31his gaze locking sharply
10:32onto mine.
10:33Serena,
10:34do you know why I chose you
10:35as my grandson's wife
10:36out of everyone else?
10:37Because I gave him a band-aid
10:39in the garden?
10:40No.
10:41I had your background
10:43thoroughly investigated.
10:45I knew you were genuinely kind.
10:48And I knew being an illegitimate daughter
10:51had left you in an impossible position.
10:53You were despised in the Sterling house
10:55just for breathing.
10:56You desperately needed a way out.
10:58With your engagement to Silas
11:00as a shield,
11:01those people wouldn't dare
11:03trample you so openly anymore.
11:05Serena,
11:06I will reconsider the divorce.
11:07Go back to the estate for now.
11:09Besides,
11:09Simus is the other party
11:10in this marriage.
11:11It can't happen without his consent.
11:12I nodded,
11:13stood up,
11:14and left the room.
11:15A cold spring rain
11:16was pouring outside,
11:18the wind welling.
11:20As I stepped out
11:21the front door of the estate,
11:22my feet suddenly rooted
11:24to the spot.
11:25Silas was standing
11:26by the half-open door.
11:27I had no idea
11:28how long he had been standing there,
11:29or how much he had heard.
11:31The moment his eyes met mine,
11:32his jaw clenched so hard
11:33his face went sheet white.
11:35You said
11:36you want a divorce?
11:40When I gave him a firm yes,
11:42Simus went dead silent.
11:44His brow furrowed,
11:45wheels turning in his head.
11:46After a long pause,
11:48come be pause.
11:49Then,
11:50after the divorce,
11:51will you still take care of me?
11:53Simus,
11:54divorce means we become strangers.
11:56I won't be your wife anymore.
11:58and I have zero obligation
12:00to take care of you.
12:02I see.
12:03The rain was coming down harder now,
12:05slanting sideways
12:06and soaking half his shoulder.
12:08Silas stared at me,
12:09dead serious,
12:10and shook his head.
12:11No divorce.
12:13If we divorce,
12:14no one will take care of me.
12:15Don't you want Chloe?
12:17Then have her take care of you,
12:18handle all your damn day-to-day needs.
12:20No.
12:20She's busy.
12:21She has to compose.
12:23She can't be trapped
12:23at home all day.
12:25You're free.
12:26You take care of me.
12:28Silas,
12:29if you just want a damn caretaker,
12:31use your money
12:31and hire a nurse.
12:32Before I came,
12:34didn't your old caregiver
12:34manage just fine?
12:36Before I came,
12:37didn't rails if you want to be.
12:39My throat tightened.
12:40Not wanting to trigger
12:41a full-blown meltdown,
12:42I turned
12:43and walked back
12:44toward the estate.
12:45He trailed right behind me,
12:46chanting,
12:47no divorce
12:48like a broken record.
12:49When I didn't respond,
12:50he dug his nails in harder
12:52until drops of blood welled up.
12:54I truly didn't understand
12:55what Silas was being
12:56so stubborn about.
12:57When I finally asked,
12:58he stuttered for a while
13:00before dropping one word.
13:02Habit?
13:03Habits can be changed.
13:05When I first started
13:05taking care of you,
13:06you hated it too.
13:07It just takes time to adjust.
13:10You'll get used to someone else.
13:15No!
13:15We are not divorcing!
13:17You have to listen to me!
13:19You know,
13:19and I did it going,
13:20we'd like to avoid!
13:24And the second he saw
13:25Chloe at the front door,
13:27his eyes lit up.
13:28The divorce he was just
13:29fighting over
13:30was indently thrown
13:31out of his mind.
13:32They walked straight
13:33into his private study.
13:34Before shutting the door,
13:35soon,
13:36the sweeping notes
13:37of the grand piano
13:38seeped through the heavy wood.
13:39Mixed with Chloe's bright,
13:41echoing laughter,
13:42the room sounded
13:43sickeningly alive.
13:44When Chloe came out
13:45of the study,
13:46it was already 10 p.m.
13:47It was pouring outside.
13:49Silas glanced at the rain
13:50and stopped her.
13:52It's raining.
13:53You'll get sick.
13:54Stay here tonight.
13:57Dummy,
13:58I didn't bring pajamas.
13:59How can I stay?
14:00She has some.
14:03How can you answer
14:04for someone else?
14:06This is my house,
14:08not hers.
14:09The clothes were bought
14:10with my money.
14:11I make the damn rules.
14:16Well then,
14:17Mrs. Vance,
14:18I guess I'll be
14:18staying the night.
14:19I hope I'm not
14:20interrupting any
14:21marital duties.
14:23Simus was right.
14:24This wasn't my home.
14:26It was time
14:26to pack my bags.
14:29After two days
14:30of searching,
14:30I signed a lease
14:31on a modestly priced
14:32studio apartment.
14:34Silas walked in
14:35just as I was
14:35folding my clothes
14:36into a suitcase.
14:37Since I brought up
14:38the divorce,
14:39his hostility towards
14:40me had now
14:41backed slightly.
14:42Very rarely,
14:43he would even
14:43initiate a conversation.
14:45Packing?
14:46Are you throwing
14:47those out?
14:48No.
14:51You should.
14:52They're hideous.
14:53You have no eye
14:54for aesthetics.
14:55You don't know
14:56how to put things
14:57together.
14:58Then what looks good?
14:59Like what Chloe wears.
15:00That looks good.
15:01You need to learn
15:02from her.
15:03I have money.
15:05I can buy them
15:05for you.
15:08A year ago,
15:09Silas and I
15:09attempted a trip
15:10to the mall.
15:11He personally
15:12picked that exact
15:13dress off the rack
15:14and handed it to me.
15:15I still clearly
15:16remember his reaction
15:18when I stepped
15:18out of the fitting room.
15:22Beautiful.
15:24Beautiful.
15:27It was the exact
15:28same dress,
15:29yet now,
15:29he found it
15:30hideous and tasteless.
15:32Was it the dress
15:33that changed,
15:34or the man
15:34looking at it?
15:35I lowered my gaze
15:36and shoved the white dress
15:37into the suitcase anyway.
15:38No thanks,
15:39I like my own style.
15:40A dark flash of irritation
15:42instantly clouded
15:43Silas' eyes.
15:44He dropped a cold
15:45suit yourself
15:46and stormed out
15:47of the room.
15:47The door slammed shut
15:49with a bang
15:49that made my ears ring.
15:50I only slept in that
15:51small studio for one night
15:52before buying a ticket
15:53to Sedono, Arizona.
15:55When I was little,
15:56my mother always
15:57coaxed me,
15:58promising that life
15:58would get better.
15:59She said once she
16:00saved up enough money,
16:01she would take me
16:02on a trip.
16:03After she was gone,
16:04I told myself
16:04the same lie.
16:05Once I saved enough,
16:07I would travel the world.
16:08It turned out
16:09that having money
16:09didn't guarantee
16:10a ticket to freedom.
16:11Because you had chains.
16:13Because you had no time
16:13of your own.
16:14But right now,
16:15I was finally standing
16:16underneath the breathtaking
16:17red rock canyons
16:18of Sedona.
16:19The dry mountain wind
16:20swept across the waters
16:22of Oak Creek,
16:22scattering the shapes
16:23of the clouds
16:24in the sky.
16:25I put my earbuds in,
16:27rented a bike,
16:28and rode aimlessly
16:29along the red dirt trails.
16:31Past the desert wilderness
16:33covered in cacti's,
16:35the drappled light
16:36filtering through
16:37the pine forests,
16:38and the ancient
16:39weathered rock formations.
16:41A massive crowd
16:42of people escaping
16:43high-pressure lives
16:44gathered here.
16:45We wandered through
16:45local artist markets,
16:47browsing handmade clay pottery
16:48and crystal healing booths.
16:50As night fell,
16:51we sat on the ground
16:52under a canopy of stars,
16:54trading our broken stories.
16:56There was a medical student
16:57pushed to the brink
16:58of a bake-down
16:59who dropped out
17:00to wander.
17:01She said here,
17:02her days were finally
17:03no longer chopped
17:04into tiny fragments
17:05by scalpels and exams.
17:07There was a man
17:08undergoing a long journey
17:09of healing
17:10from severe trauma.
17:11He said no one knows
17:13what tomorrow holds.
17:15But at least right now,
17:17his soul was regrowing.
17:19We met only briefly,
17:21brushing against
17:22the most hidden,
17:22tender corners
17:23of each other's hearts.
17:25And then,
17:25like the creeks
17:26in the canyons,
17:28flowed our separate ways,
17:29never to cross paths again.
17:31A few days later,
17:33I hiked up
17:33Airport Massa alone
17:35to watch the sunrise.
17:36When the first ray
17:37of sunlight
17:38pierced the horizon,
17:40it shattered like gold coins
17:42across the crimson canyons.
17:43In my entire life,
17:45I had never felt
17:45the crushing weight
17:46of freedom so profoundly.
17:48No damn alarm clocks.
17:49No endless lists
17:50of Medicaid seders
17:51reminds on my phone.
17:52If I wanted to,
17:53I could spend
17:53the entire day
17:54just staring blankly
17:55at the red rocks
17:57in the distance,
17:57sitting on the shuttle bus
17:59heading back
18:00to the airport,
18:01I dialed Arthur's number.
18:03Serena,
18:05come back quickly.
18:08Silas,
18:08he is in a very,
18:10very bad state.
18:12I ended up making
18:13a trip back
18:14to the Vance estate anyway.
18:16When he realized
18:16I was actually gone,
18:18Silas descended
18:19into absolute fury.
18:21He had no idea
18:22how to function
18:23on his own.
18:25For instance,
18:27faced with the rows
18:27of prescription bottles
18:28in his medicine cabinet,
18:30he had no clue
18:30how many pills
18:31of each anti-anxiety med
18:33to take daily.
18:33Before,
18:34I was always the one
18:35pouring him a glass of water
18:36and placing the exact dose
18:38into his palm.
18:39He had an important press event
18:40for a new piece that day,
18:41but he couldn't find
18:42the silk tie
18:43that matched
18:44his tailored suit
18:45to save his life.
18:46He called my phone frantically,
18:48only to hit a cold voicemail.
18:50Left with no choice,
18:51Arthur threw money
18:52at the problem
18:53and hired a high-end
18:54professional caretaker
18:55named Martha.
18:56But Martha had no idea
18:58how to navigate
18:58Silas's temper
18:59and was left
19:00completely paralyzed
19:02by his outbursts.
19:03When I walked
19:03through the doors,
19:05Simus had visibly
19:05lost a lot of weight,
19:07his jawline sharp as a blade.
19:09Seeing me,
19:09his face instantly darkened
19:11and he coldly
19:12turned his head away.
19:13What the hell
19:14are you doing back here?
19:15Weren't you leaving?
19:17I hate you.
19:19Liar.
19:21While I was traveling,
19:22Arthur used his connections
19:23to track down
19:24the landlord
19:25of the apartment I rented.
19:26Silas stared
19:27at the suitcase in my hand
19:28and let out
19:28a low, cold scoff.
19:30The Stirlers kicked you
19:31out like trash.
19:33You don't even have
19:33a doghouse to sleep in.
19:35In the end,
19:36you still had to crawl
19:36right back, didn't you?
19:38I couldn't be bothered
19:39to defend myself.
19:40I just silently hauled
19:42my luggage
19:42toward my bedroom.
19:43But the exact second
19:44I turned my back,
19:46the corner of Silas's mouth
19:48unconsciously ticked up.
19:49His tightly coiled mood
19:50seemed considerably lighter.
19:52But he had absolutely
19:53no idea why I was really back.
19:55If I lost that apartment,
19:57I could find another one.
19:58I could hire a lawyer
19:59if I had to.
20:00I could even grab my passport,
20:01leave New York entirely
20:02and start fresh
20:03somewhere no one knew me.
20:06Back in Arizona,
20:07Arthur and I had
20:08a long conversation
20:09over the phone.
20:10I explicitly told him
20:11I had already consulted
20:12at a divorce attorney.
20:13I could file for divorce
20:14directly with the court.
20:15Even if he unleashed
20:16his legal team
20:17to make me lose
20:17the first round,
20:18I didn't care.
20:19On the other end
20:20of the line,
20:21Arthur descended
20:22into dead silence.
20:24Just when I thought
20:24he was going to hang up
20:25on me,
20:26he finally spoke.
20:27I paid top dollar
20:29for a new caretaker,
20:30but she has zero idea
20:31how to handle
20:32Silas's temper.
20:33Stay and take care
20:34of him for one final month.
20:36Make sure every detail
20:37is properly handed over.
20:39As compensation,
20:40after one month,
20:41I won't have my lawyers
20:42block your divorce filing.
20:44Plus,
20:45I'll have a check cut
20:46for one million dollars
20:47for you.
20:47The deal was simply
20:48too good.
20:49With that money,
20:51I'd have enough
20:51to start a new life
20:52anywhere.
20:53I couldn't refuse.
20:55So,
20:56Silas had no idea
20:58this was the final month
20:59I would ever be
21:00in his life.
21:01Thomas told me
21:02that over the two weeks
21:03I was gone,
21:04Silas had barely
21:04touched a proper meal.
21:06But tonight,
21:07sitting at the dining table,
21:08he swallowed down
21:09two portions of pasta.
21:11Mm-hmm.
21:12Praise me.
21:15I pushed down
21:16my emotions
21:16and,
21:17just like every day
21:18for the past five years,
21:20softened my voice.
21:21You did great.
21:22Once he turned
21:23and went into the study,
21:24I immediately grabbed
21:25the new caretaker,
21:26Martha,
21:27and whispered,
21:28He craves
21:29positive reinforcement.
21:30Praise him often.
21:31If he messes something up,
21:32absolutely never
21:33point it out on the spot.
21:34Wait until he's calm
21:35and bring it up
21:36casually later.
21:37Since I came back,
21:38it was as if someone
21:39hit play on Silas'
21:40daily routine again.
21:41He hadn't shown
21:42a single sign
21:42of a manic episode.
21:44Until today.
21:45When Martha walked
21:46into his room
21:47carrying a glass of water
21:48for his meds,
21:48the piercing sound
21:49of shattering glass
21:50suddenly tore
21:51through the walls.
21:52By the time I rushed
21:53into the room,
21:53the floor was a complete
21:54disaster zone.
21:56Shattered glass
21:56and anti-anxiety pills
21:57were scattered everywhere.
21:59Sima stood there barefoot.
22:00A sharp shard of glass
22:01had sliced into
22:02the sole of his foot,
22:03blood steadily trickling
22:04down his skin.
22:06Why is she here?
22:08Why isn't it you?
22:10This is supposed
22:11to be your job.
22:12Why are you
22:13replacing yourself?
22:15I don't want anyone else.
22:17I don't want her.
22:19I only want you
22:20to give me my meds.
22:21Swallowing a sigh,
22:22I turned around,
22:23poured a fresh glass
22:24of warm water,
22:25tapped out the exact dosage
22:26and handed it to him.
22:28Watching him
22:29obediently swallow
22:30the pills
22:30and seeing his breathing
22:32finally level down.
22:33Why does it have
22:34to be me?
22:35When I saw it wasn't
22:36you walking in,
22:37I got a little scared.
22:39What were you scared of?
22:42I was scared
22:43you were handing me
22:44off to someone else.
22:45His grip on my wrist
22:46tightened.
22:47And then you would
22:48just leave
22:48and you wouldn't
22:49want me anymore.
22:50Silas was still
22:51death gripping my sleeve
22:52like a drowning man.
22:53From now on,
22:53it has to be you
22:54every day.
22:55No replacements.
22:56Promise me you won't leave.
22:57I truly didn't have
22:58an ounce of energy left
22:59to clean up the wreckage
23:00of his emotions.
23:01Okay, I promise.
23:02I won't leave.
23:03No replacements.
23:04That noon,
23:05I saw Chloe again.
23:07He's been looking
23:08for this piece forever.
23:09Please give it to him for me.
23:11Simus is right upstairs.
23:12Why don't you
23:12take it in yourself?
23:13No.
23:14He doesn't want
23:15to see me anymore.
23:17Serena.
23:18I fell in love with Silas.
23:19It was obvious, wasn't it?
23:20I nodded.
23:21I'd have to be blind
23:22not to see it.
23:23When I first saw him
23:24at Lincoln Center,
23:25everyone around him
23:26was in groups.
23:27He was the only one
23:28standing there
23:29entirely alone,
23:31completely out of sync
23:32with the rest of the world.
23:34I locked onto his face
23:36in the crowd instantly.
23:42When I found out
23:43his phone was dead,
23:44I immediately jumped
23:45at the chance
23:46and offered to take him home.
23:47I'm not stupid.
23:48Two sentences
23:49into our conversation,
23:50I realized his brain
23:51was wired differently
23:52than normal people.
23:53But I actually found
23:54that incredibly charming.
23:56He was so pure,
23:57completely unfiltered.
23:59After you moved out,
24:00Arthur Vance contacted me himself.
24:02He told me you had
24:02filed for divorce.
24:04When I heard that news,
24:05I was secretly thrilled.
24:06I told him that since
24:07he wanted a divorce,
24:08he should just let you go.
24:09I told him I was more
24:10than willing to take over
24:11the responsibility
24:12of caring for him.
24:13But do you know
24:14what the outcome was?
24:18Do you want to come inside
24:19for a cup of coffee?
24:24I baked him
24:25a strawberry shortcake
24:26from scratch.
24:27He stared at it
24:27for a long time
24:28and then he actually
24:29turned to me
24:30and said that strawberries
24:31were your favorite.
24:33Strawberries were her favorite.
24:37But do you know
24:37what absolutely broke me?
24:39And then what?
24:41I asked him point the bound
24:43if he was ever going
24:43to divorce you.
24:44Absolutely not.
24:50I think I really
24:50lost my mind that night.
24:52I was just so desperate
24:52to prove that he had
24:53feelings for me too.
24:54So I barged right
24:55into his bedroom
24:56and stripped off my clothes
24:57right in front of him.
24:59I told him if he wanted to,
25:00he could try.
25:01Right before he kicked me out,
25:02he was so furious,
25:03the vines in his neck
25:04were popping.
25:05I thought you were better
25:06than all those shallow women,
25:07but you're just
25:07as goddamn Sam Chief.
25:08I never want to lay eyes again.
25:11As I was being thrown
25:12out the front doors,
25:13I looked back.
25:14He was curled up on the sofa,
25:16buried in that pile
25:17of plushies you made,
25:18and he was very,
25:19very softly
25:19calling your name.
25:20When I first fell
25:21for a married man,
25:22I could still
25:22brainwash myself.
25:24I told myself
25:25Silas didn't love you
25:26at all,
25:26that you used
25:27a marriage contract
25:28to chain a socially
25:29enalphed genius
25:30to your side.
25:31In love,
25:32the one who isn't loved
25:33is the real homewrecker.
25:34Lately,
25:35Silas had become
25:36unusually clingy.
25:37He would even
25:38rack his brain
25:39awkwardly trying
25:40to strike up
25:40conversations with me
25:42out of thin air.
25:43Where'd you go
25:43during the half month
25:44you disappeared?
25:44I opened my phone gallery,
25:46showing him the photos
25:47and videos from Sedona.
25:48I don't like
25:48prock my leg is,
25:50like traveling
25:50low vine.
25:52But every lad's
25:53right,
25:53it'll feel
25:53that nice here.
25:56It's just
25:57diviocene
25:57as if you were
25:58to laugh at it.
25:59The designs
26:00were incredibly
26:00aesthetic.
26:01If you had been
26:02there,
26:02you definitely
26:02would have
26:02taken a second look.
26:04Have you ever
26:05seen native pottery,
26:06pressing,
26:06and book print
26:07pressing,
26:07or wood board
26:08prints?
26:08Look,
26:09this clay figurine
26:10is one I made
26:10myself.
26:11Isn't it meaningful?
26:12I opened my
26:13phone gallery,
26:14showing him
26:14the photos
26:14and videos
26:15from Sedona,
26:16sharing the
26:16moments that
26:17brought me
26:17back to life.
26:18Have you ever
26:19seen native
26:19pottery,
26:20botanil pressing,
26:21or wood board
26:22prints?
26:23Look,
26:23this clay
26:24figurine is one
26:25I made myself.
26:26Isn't it
26:27meaniously?
26:27I even went
26:28foraging in the
26:29forest with a
26:30local guide.
26:30We hiked along
26:31the creek all
26:31afternoon and
26:32picked a basket
26:33full of wild
26:33berries and
26:34mushrooms.
26:35It was the
26:36first time I so
26:37viscerally felt
26:38that just being
26:39alive could be
26:40this rewarding.
26:41Oh,
26:41sorry,
26:42am I talking
26:42too much?
26:45It's fine,
26:45keep talking,
26:46I'm listening.
26:47He just sat
26:48there quietly,
26:49listening to me
26:49animetically describe
26:50the red rocks,
26:51the wild winds,
26:52and the starry
26:52skies.
26:53When I finally
26:54finished,
26:54he suddenly
26:55asked,
26:57Do you really
26:57love traveling
26:58that much?
26:59Without a shed
27:00of hesitation,
27:01I nodded
27:01emphatically,
27:02his eyes
27:03darkened slightly.
27:03I always feel
27:04like I'm only
27:05safe when I'm
27:05inside my own
27:06house,
27:06but it's fine,
27:07we can try.
27:08Try what?
27:11Lately,
27:12he barely went
27:13to his studio
27:13downtown anymore,
27:14preferring to stay
27:15holed up in the
27:16house all day.
27:17That afternoon,
27:18he suddenly yelled
27:19my name from the
27:19study.
27:20I walked to the
27:21doorway,
27:22asking him from
27:22across the hall
27:23what he wanted.
27:24What do you want?
27:25He pushed the
27:26heavy oak door open
27:27and waved me over.
27:28Come in.
27:29My feet instantly
27:30nailed to the
27:31floor.
27:32My brain immediately
27:33flashed back to
27:34the terrifying image
27:35of the last time I
27:36accidentally stepped
27:37into the study,
27:38his manic episode.
27:39The veins popping
27:40in his neck,
27:40him screaming at me
27:41to get the hell
27:42out.
27:52The glow of the
27:53setting sun poured
27:54through the floor
27:54to cleaning windows,
27:56hitting him straight
27:56in the back,
27:57bathed in the
27:58backlit sunset.
27:59The tips of his
28:00hair was dyed
28:01a piercing
28:01pale gold.
28:02His thick,
28:03butterfly-wing
28:04lilashes lowered,
28:05angers leaping
28:05across the black
28:06and white keys,
28:07notes cascading
28:07from his figure
28:08tips like a
28:09waterfall.
28:09There are people
28:10in this world
28:10who are completely
28:11tone-deaf like me.
28:12I didn't understand
28:13adagios,
28:14legawis,
28:15or incredibly
28:15complex chord
28:16structures.
28:22Did it sound good?
28:24It did.
28:25It was really
28:26beautiful.
28:28It's just a rough
28:28draft.
28:29It's far from
28:30perfect.
28:31If I tweak the
28:32harmonies,
28:32it will be better.
28:35What's the name
28:36of the piece?
28:37I haven't decided
28:38yet.
28:39This piece,
28:40it was written
28:41for you.
28:42Your birthday
28:42is in a few days.
28:43My breath hitched
28:44in my throat.
28:45Never in my wildest
28:46dreams did I expect
28:47him to give me
28:48a gift like this.
28:49Do you know
28:49why I am
28:49the way I am?
28:50I had asked
28:51Arthur about
28:52his condition
28:52before.
28:53The shrewd
28:53old man
28:54brushed it off,
28:55telling me
28:55that a negligent
28:56maim caused
28:56Silas Silic
28:57catch a severe
28:57fever when he
28:58was little,
28:59damaging his
28:59brain.
29:00His fingers
29:01began to
29:01tremble violently.
29:03Just recalling
29:03the past was
29:04already draining
29:05every ounce
29:05of oxygen
29:06from his lungs.
29:07It's okay.
29:08If it's too
29:09painful,
29:10you don't have
29:10to force yourself
29:11to say it.
29:11I have to say
29:13it.
29:13I want you
29:14to know.
29:15Back then,
29:15my dad pursued
29:16my mom like a
29:17madman for
29:18four straight
29:18years before
29:19she finally
29:19withstood her
29:20family's pressure
29:20and agreed to
29:21marry him.
29:22But just two
29:22years into
29:23their marriage,
29:23my mom found
29:24out that the
29:24man who swore
29:25he loved her
29:26was keeping
29:26mistresses on
29:27the side.
29:29The first time
29:30he got caught,
29:31my mom completely
29:31broke down.
29:32My dad dropped
29:33to his knees,
29:34crying and
29:34sworing he
29:35would change.
29:36But then came
29:37the second time,
29:38the third time,
29:38the fourth time.
29:39I even walked
29:41in on my dad
29:42and some disgusting
29:43woman on the couch
29:44in our own house.
29:45God,
29:45it was so fucking
29:46sickening.
29:47My mom couldn't
29:48take the endless
29:49humiliation anymore
29:50so she packed us
29:51up and moved out.
29:52But my dad tracked
29:53us down like a ghost,
29:54dropping to his knees
29:55again begging for
29:56forgiveness.
29:57For my sake,
29:57my mom caved again
29:58and took me back
29:59to that house.
30:00But the second we
30:00moved back,
30:01she found out my dad
30:02had never cut things
30:02off with that woman.
30:06Even during the days
30:07he was crying
30:08outside our apartment
30:09begging my mom
30:09to come home,
30:10he had his mistress
30:10stashed in a hotel
30:11nearby.
30:13My mom was in my
30:14room coaxing me
30:14to sleep while my
30:15dad was in the
30:16very next room
30:16fucking that woman.
30:18At this point,
30:19Sima snapped his
30:20eyes open,
30:20the depths of them
30:21filled with a
30:21chilling despair.
30:22But this time,
30:23my mom didn't cry
30:24and she didn't
30:24throw things.
30:25She was as calm
30:26as a corpse.
30:26She even suggested
30:27the three of us
30:28took a family vacation
30:29out of state.
30:30That night,
30:31in a completely
30:32unfamiliar city,
30:33in an unfamiliar
30:34hotel suite.
30:36My dad,
30:37covered in blood,
30:38fought back
30:38like a madman.
30:39He clamped his
30:40hands around my
30:41mom's throat,
30:42strangling her.
30:43And me?
30:45My mom had
30:46deadbolted me out
30:47on the balcony
30:48beforehand.
30:49I pounded on
30:50the glass door,
30:51screaming until
30:52my throat tore,
30:53but I couldn't
30:53get in.
30:54All I could do
30:55was watch.
30:56In the gossip
30:57circles of the
30:58New York elite,
30:58the Vanser's love
30:59story was a
31:00modern fairy tale.
31:01Back then,
31:01Richard Vance
31:02Sother was set
31:02for a business
31:03alliance but fell
31:04in love at first
31:04sight with a girl
31:05from an unordinary
31:06background.
31:07The girl didn't
31:07want to be dragged
31:08into the mud of
31:09old money and
31:09flatly refused.
31:10Richard relentlessly
31:11pursued her for
31:12four entire years
31:13before his devotion
31:14finally won her over.
31:15After the wedding,
31:16they were famous
31:17for being incredibly
31:17in love.
31:18It wasn't long
31:19before they had
31:20the Vance family
31:20heir,
31:21Silas.
31:22But sadly,
31:23the good die young.
31:24The public story
31:25was that during
31:26a family vacation,
31:27Simas's mother
31:27suffered a sudden
31:28fatal heart attack.
31:29Unable to bear the
31:30agony of losing
31:31the love of his
31:31life,
31:32Richard shot
31:32himself in their
31:33hotel room,
31:34dying for love.
31:35But who the fuck
31:36would have guessed
31:37that beneath this
31:37sickeningly sweet
31:38fairy tale lay
31:39nothing but betrayal,
31:40murder,
31:41and absolute
31:41glore?
31:42And the Silas
31:42who was locked
31:43on the balcony,
31:44forced to watch
31:44his parents slaughter
31:45each other,
31:46was only six years
31:46old?
31:47His mind simply
31:47couldn't handle
31:48that kind of
31:49devastating impact.
31:51Serena,
31:52I'm tearing this
31:53open to show you
31:53because I want
31:53you to know me,
31:54the absolute
31:54entirety of me,
31:55including the
31:56ugliest,
31:56most rotting scars.
31:57I know I'm sick,
31:59severely sick,
31:59but I'll take my
32:00meds.
32:01I'll fight like
32:01hell to overcome
32:02it.
32:03From now on,
32:04you can walk
32:04into this study
32:05whenever you want.
32:05I will absolutely
32:06never scream at
32:07you again.
32:08If you want,
32:08you can hold
32:09my hand too.
32:09I swear to God,
32:10I won't shake
32:10you off.
32:11I'll take my
32:12pills on time
32:12like a normal
32:13person.
32:13I won't explode
32:14at you like a
32:14lunatic anymore.
32:15Serena, let's go
32:15on a trip together.
32:16I want to try
32:17for you to go
32:18to a completely
32:18unfamiliar place
32:19and after we
32:20make it back
32:20alive, I'll give
32:21you a proper
32:21birthday.
32:22Holding my hand
32:23in a vite grip,
32:24he opened the
32:24tablet on his
32:25desk and stared
32:25dead at the
32:26cities on the
32:27map, treating
32:28it with the
32:28same absolute
32:29rigority as
32:29his sheet music.
32:31I walked out
32:32the hallway,
32:33dialed Arthur's
32:34number, and
32:34told him Silas
32:35had initiated
32:36a trip out of
32:37state.
32:41Is the
32:42handover with
32:42Martha completely
32:43finished?
32:44Right now,
32:45there was less
32:45than a week
32:45left of the
32:46final 30
32:47days I had
32:47promised to
32:48stay.
32:49If I went on
32:49this trip with
32:50Silas now,
32:51the exact second
32:51we landed at
32:52the airport and
32:53returned to the
32:53estate would be
32:54the exact second
32:55I dragged my
32:56suitcase away and
32:56walked out of
32:57his life forever.
32:58Every dosage,
32:59every detail
32:59Martha needed to
33:00know, I've
33:00already handed
33:00over perfectly.
33:01I swallowed the
33:01dryness in my
33:02throat and replied,
33:03Arthur gave a
33:03heavy, hmm,
33:04over the phone.
33:05Since he's willing
33:05to step out of
33:06this house, go,
33:07take him to see
33:07the outside world.
33:08Silas and I
33:09studied the map
33:10for a long time.
33:11In the end,
33:11we decided to fly to
33:12the vast wilderness
33:13of Montana.
33:14Silas studied
33:15travel guides with
33:16the same exacting
33:17riggery he brought
33:18to complex sheet
33:19music, putting
33:20together an
33:20insanely detailed
33:21itinerary.
33:22He even dug out
33:23an expensive DSR
33:24camera specifically
33:25for this.
33:26I can take
33:26pictures of you.
33:27He was an
33:27absolute control
33:28freak.
33:28He was an
33:29itinerary, was
33:30packed airtight.
33:31He had even
33:31pre-decided exactly
33:32what calorie count
33:33food we would
33:33eat for every
33:34single meal on
33:34every single day.
33:35When we stepped
33:36into the first
33:37class cabin, I
33:38could distinctly
33:38feel Silas's
33:39breathing start to
33:40hitch.
33:41Maybe it was
33:42the severe trauma
33:42of being deadbolt
33:43on that balcony
33:44watching a slaughter
33:45unfold, but he
33:46violently rejected
33:47any confined space
33:48he couldn't escape
33:49from.
33:50A plane isn't a
33:50road trip.
33:51Once it takes off,
33:52you don't even have
33:52the power to tell
33:53them to pull over.
33:54If you feel even
33:54slightly panicked,
33:55we get off right
33:56now.
33:56Don't fucking
33:57force it.
33:58I'm fine.
33:59We're going.
33:59I don't want to
34:00ruin your mood again.
34:01After finally landing,
34:02we chartered an SUV
34:03and bounced along
34:04desolate highways for
34:05four straight hours
34:05before reaching the
34:06National Park Reserve
34:07in Montana.
34:08The entire ride,
34:09every single nerve
34:10in Silas's body
34:11was pulled as tight
34:12as a bowstring.
34:12Serena, I'm fine.
34:14After arriving at
34:14our hotel suite,
34:16I went into the
34:16bathroom alone to
34:17take a hot shower
34:18and wash off the
34:19exhaustion.
34:26Hearing the bathroom
34:27door open,
34:28his head snapped up
34:29like he'd been
34:30electrocuted.
34:31Desperate to hide
34:32his breakdown,
34:32he sucked in two
34:33massive breaths of
34:34air, frantically
34:35ripped open his
34:35suitcase, tapped out
34:36two strong anti-anxiety
34:38pills, and swallowed
34:39them dry without water.
34:41I'm going to take
34:42a shower too.
34:42I'm fine.
34:43I'm really fine.
34:44Don't worry.
34:45Do you need me to
34:45tell you a bedtime
34:46story?
34:46No need.
34:47I'm about to fall
34:47asleep.
34:48You go to sleep
34:48too.
34:48Tomorrow, we'll go
34:49look at the planes
34:50together.
34:51But the next
34:52morning, the heavy,
34:53almost bruised-looking
34:54Darkles under his
34:54eyes instantly exposed
34:55the fact that he had
34:56stared at the
34:57clailing all night
34:57until dawn.
34:58He couldn't even
34:59choke down a piece
34:59of toast for breakfast,
35:00yet he hid in the
35:01bathroom, secretly
35:02throwing pills down
35:02his throat multiple
35:03times.
35:04Don't look at me.
35:05Look over there.
35:06Walk over a bit.
35:07I'll take a picture
35:08of you with the
35:08camera.
35:09He raised the
35:10heavy DSVR, but his
35:11index finger resting
35:12on the shutter was
35:13shaking wildly,
35:14completely out of
35:15his control.
35:16Jesus, why does his
35:17face look so awful?
35:18He looks like he's
35:18got severe altitude
35:19sickness.
35:20No way, right?
35:20The altitude here
35:21isn't even 2,000 meters.
35:23I just need a little
35:24more time to adjust.
35:25I'm really fine.
35:26He forced himself
35:26to pull me along,
35:27taking over a dozen
35:28photos, but every time
35:29he checked the screen,
35:30his brows furrowed
35:30tighter.
35:31This isn't right.
35:32I asked him softly
35:32what exactly was
35:33he didn't answer.
35:34His fingers,
35:34driven by extreme
35:35anxiety, were twisting
35:36the hem of his
35:36windbreaker so hard
35:37he was practically
35:38tearing the fabric.
35:39Kids these days will
35:40literally die for a
35:40photo.
35:41Your boyfriend's face
35:42is as white as
35:42corpse.
35:43Instead of rushing
35:43him to a hospital,
35:44you're actually making
35:44him hold that damn
35:45camera for your
35:46photo shoot?
35:46Serena, let's take
35:48pictures later.
35:48Let's just take a
35:49walk first, okay?
35:50I watched their
35:51retreating backs,
35:53suppressing the bitter
35:54ache in my chest,
35:55and sighed saltly.
35:58They looked so damn
35:59free.
35:59Hearing that, Silas
36:01suddenly grinted his
36:01teeth.
36:02He tried to speed up
36:03his pace, forcing
36:03himself to run with me
36:04across this wilderness.
36:05But this dam,
36:06completely exposed,
36:07unfamiliar environment
36:08terrified him.
36:10Every step he took was
36:11as stiff as walking
36:12through a minefield.
36:13Serena, you run.
36:14I'll just stand right
36:15here and capture it on
36:16camera for you.
36:17Forget it.
36:18Let's just walk slowly.
36:19That afternoon, I decided to
36:21try horseback riding.
36:22The horse picked up its
36:23hooves, gradually
36:24accelerating from a walk
36:25to a brisk trot.
36:27Silas gripped the camera
36:28tight, the shutter
36:29clicking wildly, one
36:30after another.
36:31Completely swallowed by the
36:33adrenaline rush of
36:34riding against the wind,
36:35I slowly closed my eyes,
36:36trying to feel even one
36:38second of fake freedom.
36:39Right then, a blood
36:40cripping, distorted scream
36:42violently tore through
36:42the cold air and slammed
36:43into my eardrums.
36:44I jerked the reins hard
36:46and snapped my head
36:46around.
36:47It was Simus's voice.
36:48Simus had a full-blown
36:49manic episode.
36:50The trigger that set him
36:51off was a couple
36:52standing nearby.
36:53For whatever bullshit
36:54reason, the couple
36:54suddenly started arguing
36:55violently on the grass.
36:57The man lowered his
36:57voice and cursed,
36:58saying he was going to
36:59beat the hell out of her
36:59the second they got
37:00back to the hotel.
37:01The woman screamed
37:02like a maniac,
37:03pointing right in his
37:04face, yelling that
37:05if he dared to leave,
37:06she would stab a knife
37:07straight through his
37:08heart.
37:08When the man violently
37:10shoved the woman to
37:10the ground, Silas's
37:12sanity completely snapped.
37:13He charged forward like
37:14a lunatic, blocking
37:15the man's path.
37:17Once Silas went into
37:18a full-blown PTSD episode,
37:19he lost all ability
37:21to control himself.
37:22I held him tight,
37:23whispering reassurances
37:24in his ear over and
37:24over, fighting like
37:25hell to pull him back
37:26from that bloody
37:27childhood hallucination.
37:28It wasn't until the
37:28sun completely sank
37:29below the horizon that
37:30his violently shaking
37:31body finally started
37:32to calm down.
37:32I'm so sorry, I
37:33messed up, I made
37:34you worry.
37:35Taking a trip with
37:35me is just an absolute
37:37disaster, isn't it?
37:38No, it's not that
37:39bad.
37:40I looked at the photos
37:41from your trip to
37:41Arizona and those
37:42pictures, your smile
37:43was so full of life,
37:44but after you came
37:44back to our so-called
37:45home, you never
37:45smiled like that
37:46again.
37:47I wanted to see you
37:48smile, so I forced
37:51you to come on this
37:51trip, but through my
37:53camera lens, your
37:54eyes look dead.
37:56You look nothing like
37:57the radiant girl in
37:58those stranger's
37:59phones.
38:00When you were riding
38:00the horse just now,
38:01I tried so hard, and I
38:02finally got one shot I
38:03was satisfied with, but
38:04I took exactly one
38:05fucking photo before I
38:06had an episode.
38:07Serena, I'm a piece of
38:08trash, I'm so damn
38:09useless.
38:09Chained to me, you
38:10have to be on edge
38:11even on a vacation.
38:12You don't even get to
38:12relax for a single
38:13second.
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