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00:00I learned my fiancé had been married to my best friend for five years on our marriage certificate day.
00:06On Valentine's Day, I linked arms with Jasper and walked into the city hall to register our marriage,
00:12then frowned and looked at my fiancé.
00:14Mr. Hale, you'll need to finalize your divorce before you can register a new marriage.
00:19The world detonated somewhere behind my eyes.
00:23Oh, right. I think I accidentally got married five years ago.
00:29Who? We had been together for almost ten years.
00:32Vivian Shaw.
00:33That was my best friend's name.
00:35Vivian, who collected boyfriends the way other people collected speeding tickets.
00:39Never keeping one longer than a month, always juggling at least five at a time.
00:44When he saw me trembling, Jasper opened a video call without a word.
00:50Vivian's impatient voice filled the room before her face even loaded.
00:53Why are you calling early? It's not time for our meetup yet this month.
00:57Vivian had been living abroad for years.
01:00I had only ever saw her face on a screen for years.
01:03Jasper angled the phone until the camera found me.
01:06On the screen, Vivian was draped across two men I didn't recognize.
01:11Nina! What are you doing there?
01:14We're at city hall.
01:16Getting married.
01:17Oh my god, congratulations, babe.
01:20Finally, you deserve this so much.
01:24Ugh.
01:25Why does a jerk like Jasper Hall get this lucky?
01:28She launched into a cheerful stream of insults aimed at Jasper.
01:31I couldn't hear any of it.
01:33There was a ringing in my ears that drowned out everything.
01:37In my memory, Vivian and Jasper had never been able to stand each other.
01:41I was the only thing that had ever kept the peace between them.
01:44And yet, legally, they had been husband and wife for five years.
01:50Vivian, did you forget something?
01:53You forgot to divorce me.
01:56She scrambled to pick it up, and when her face reappeared,
01:59it wore the exact same blank, unbothered expression as his.
02:03Oh, right, that.
02:05Hold on, I'll fly back tonight.
02:06I opened my mouth, closed it.
02:09It was already too late.
02:10We didn't speak on the way home.
02:15Inside, Jasper reached out to ruffle my hair the way he always had.
02:19His hand hung in the air between us, awkward and lost.
02:23Why?
02:25He pulled his hand back and lit a cigarette like nothing had happened.
02:30It was an accident.
02:32Five years ago, around this time, we both drank too much at some party.
02:38Our friends thought it would be funny to dare us to get married on the spot.
02:42When we woke up the next morning, we both just forgot about it.
02:48Something surged up from my stomach.
02:50I pressed my back against the wall and dry heaved.
02:53It was a long time before I could wipe my eyes.
02:55What did she mean it wasn't time for your meetup yet?
02:59We see each other once a month.
03:01Sometimes she comes back, sometimes I fly out.
03:06An absurdity so vast it had its own gravity settled over me.
03:12Vivian had been abroad for years.
03:14I could only see her on a screen.
03:19When was the last time?
03:22The 17th.
03:23Last month.
03:26The 17th.
03:27Our anniversary.
03:28I had taken the day off work.
03:30I baked a cake by myself and burned my hand on the oven rack.
03:33Then his text came, working late.
03:35So sorry.
03:36I waited for morning until the sun went down.
03:39In the end, I ate the cold dinner alone at our table.
03:42Pretending hard enough that it almost felt like he was there.
03:44The tears came all at once.
03:46Enormous and unstoppable.
03:48Jasper reached over and wiped them away.
03:51Gentle as he'd always been.
03:53I wasn't trying to hide it from you.
03:56We worked things out between us a long time ago.
03:58I just didn't know how to tell you.
04:00The soft t-shirt I was wearing suddenly felt like it was strangling me.
04:03I shoved him away and tore through the room.
04:06Glasses, books, anything I could reach.
04:09Get out!
04:10Get out, Jasper!
04:12You make me sick!
04:13A shard of glass sliced past his temple.
04:15Okay.
04:17Calm down.
04:18There is nothing going on between me and Vivian.
04:22If I wanted her, do you think you'd even be here?
04:24She comes back tonight.
04:25We file the divorce.
04:27And then you and I get married.
04:28That's it.
04:30He walked out without looking back.
04:33I pressed my palms over my face and started to laugh.
04:36I laughed until the room spun.
04:38Until the tears wouldn't stop.
04:40When I came downstairs the next morning, Vivian was curled up on the couch.
04:45Nina, you're up early.
04:47Did I wake you?
04:48She was my best friend.
04:50Even after all those years abroad, she still had a key to our place.
04:53She always had.
04:54But when Vivian bounced up and threw her arms around me, all I could think about was those
04:58two names glowing on the marriage registry screen.
05:01My stomach turned, over and over.
05:03I couldn't stop the thoughts.
05:05How many times had they been here, in this apartment, while I was away?
05:09Every time Jasper said he was working late, was he here?
05:12With her?
05:13In our home?
05:14I ran for the bathroom and didn't stop until I was on the floor, arms around the toilet.
05:19When I finally managed to stand, Jasper and Vivian were in the doorway, side by side,
05:23wearing the exact same worried expression.
05:25I laughed, short and sharp, like something tearing.
05:29They even looked like a couple.
05:31Vivian's brow creased.
05:32She kicked Jasper hard in the shin.
05:34I trusted you to take care of her.
05:37This is what you call taking care of her?
05:39Since when is she yours to guess it?
05:41Since when is she yours to give away?
05:44Keep it up, and I'll take her back overseas.
05:47You'll never see her again.
05:48They were off, the two of them trading blows like they'd been doing their whole lives.
05:52Except I was supposed to be the subject of this conversation.
05:55I was still barely holding myself upright against the wall.
05:58They couldn't see me at all.
06:00As if this apartment only had room for the two of them.
06:03That was when it finally, slowly, landed.
06:06In their world, I had never been anything more than a supporting character.
06:10By the time I met them, the two of them had already been at each other's throats since
06:14kindergarten.
06:15I was 12 when my family moved into the gated community.
06:18Most of the kids there were third or fourth generation money.
06:20I was the daughter of a man who'd made his fortune overnight, new money, rural roots,
06:25and no amount of coaching could scrub the roughness out of me.
06:27They looked down on me.
06:29They were also too smart to make an enemy of me outright.
06:32When I got into the same private school, the quiet exclusion got worse.
06:35The kind that leaves no marks.
06:37That was when Vivian and Jasper found me.
06:40I knew Vivian first.
06:41She'd mentioned her rival.
06:43That rival turned out to be my new desk partner.
06:46Their families had been close for five generations, neighbors and business partners.
06:50Even a childhood betrothal once, a match their parents had called off after Vivian and Jasper's
06:54fighting got so bad it couldn't be ignored anymore.
06:56The Shaws were the kind of family that never believed in rules, and Vivian had grown up
07:00knowing it.
07:01By the time she was an adult, nothing had changed, she never had fewer than five boyfriends
07:05running at the same time.
07:07Jasper was the opposite.
07:08The Hale family was old and serious, their name carrying weight in every room.
07:12Vivian mocked him constantly for being rigid, traditional, buttoned up.
07:16He called her reckless.
07:17She called him a fossil.
07:19The only time they could be in the same room without someone ending up hurt was when I
07:22was between them.
07:23In high school they once went to their parents, both sets of them, to fight over who got to
07:27sit with me at dinner.
07:29They threatened each other with stock holdings.
07:31I had to talk them both down from opposite ends of the argument.
07:34And it took the better part of an evening.
07:36Everyone said I was lucky.
07:38Protected by both heirs.
07:40Because of them, my path through that world had been smoother than it had any right to be.
07:43The day Jasper told me he liked me, I called Vivian and talked her ear off until sunrise.
07:49She spent the whole night insulting him.
07:51The next morning, they both disappeared for a few hours.
07:54When they turned up again, they were both bruised badly enough that the school called all three
07:58families in.
07:59The older generation still tells that story at dinner parties.
08:02They were like opposing poles, pushed them together and they'd fly apart.
08:06Only I had ever held them in the same orbit.
08:08When did it become like this?
08:10Had Jasper always loved Vivian?
08:12Drawn to her freedom, unable to forgive her wildness?
08:15And had I always been the acceptable substitute?
08:17I dried my eyes and cut into the middle of their argument.
08:21I looked at Vivian.
08:23Forgetting to file for divorce for a day, a week, a month?
08:27Fine.
08:28I could believe that.
08:30But five years, Vivian?
08:33Was it on purpose?
08:34She opened her mouth carefully.
08:37We were both so drunk that night.
08:40Then how did you both remember the second I brought it up?
08:44You never forgot.
08:47Not for a single second.
08:51Jasper's face darkened.
08:52He shifted and stepped in front of her.
08:55That's enough, Nina.
08:56Look at yourself.
08:57He glanced at me, shaking, hair undone, and softened his voice.
09:01Barely.
09:02Stop making things up.
09:03Vivian and I are going to City Hall right now.
09:06Come back when you've calmed down.
09:08Don't bother.
09:12I'm leaving.
09:13Congratulations to you both.
09:18You're being hysterical, Nina.
09:20We'll be back in an hour.
09:21Try to act like an adult.
09:25Like he was the one who had a right to be angry.
09:28What was he angry about?
09:29My distrust?
09:31After five years of lying to my face, he still expected my trust?
09:37Then I grabbed my bag and went to the biggest bar I could find.
09:40All day, my phone never rang once.
09:42I came home past midnight, reeking of alcohol.
09:45Sound drifted from the guest room, low, breathless, unmistakable.
09:49Through the gap in the door, barely open.
09:59Jasper's hands gripped her shoulders, and there were tears on his face.
10:02This is the last time!
10:06Vivian.
10:07Take our son and stay over Sears.
10:10Don't come back.
10:11Don't let Nina see you again.
10:13Pain and guilt moved through both of them at the same moment.
10:16They pulled each other close and held on like it was the end of everything.
10:20My mind went completely white.
10:22A child.
10:23A child.
10:24They had a child together.
10:27I wanted to laugh, at myself, at how thoroughly I'd been deceived, at how little I had known.
10:32But all I could do was press both hands over my mouth until I couldn't breathe, until the
10:36darkness came.
10:37I woke up in a hospital room I recognized.
10:39Jasper and Vivian were on either side of my bed, watching me with the same anxious face.
10:44Nina.
10:45When you got home last night, did you hear anything?
10:48No.
10:49I drank too much.
10:50I passed out the second I walked in.
10:52They both exhaled at the same time.
10:54Something vast and empty opened up inside me.
10:58Vivian reached over and rested her hand on my stomach, her expression shifting to something
11:03scolding.
11:04Nina.
11:05You know you can't drink when you're pregnant, right?
11:08Every part of me went still.
11:09Why now?
11:10Why like this?
11:12What?
11:13Jasper looked more shocked than I was.
11:16The doctor told me just now.
11:18Vivian pressed her lips together into a small, helpless smile.
11:22But Jasper, Jasper lit up.
11:24A first-time father's joy, unguarded and complete, oblivious to anything else in the
11:28room.
11:29He and Vivian immediately began arguing about the baby's last name.
11:32I was pushed to the edge of the scene.
11:34As if the pregnant one wasn't me, I forced a smile and was about to say something when
11:39a small voice came from the doorway.
11:40Daddy.
11:41Mommy.
11:42The hospital room stopped breathing.
11:44Both of them went rigid.
11:46Jasper looked at me instinctively, and I couldn't look away from the boy in the doorway, the
11:50boy who was Jasper's face, seven parts out of ten.
11:53The resemblance was too precise.
11:55There was no version of denial that could survive it.
11:58Nina, that's…
11:59Jasper started to speak, but the boy had already launched himself into his arms.
12:03Daddy.
12:04My head hurts.
12:05A man in a butler's uniform appeared behind him, bowing apologetically toward Vivian.
12:11I'm so sorry, ma'am.
12:12The young master kept asking for parents, and when he threatened to stop eating, I had
12:17no choice.
12:18That's enough.
12:22Finley.
12:23I told you I'd be back in two days.
12:26Who said you could come here on your own?
12:28Finley.
12:29What a good name.
12:30I wish I hadn't been the one to come up with it.
12:32When I was younger, I used to imagine having a child with Jasper someday.
12:36Boy or girl, I always said I'd name them Finley, and now he had given that name to someone
12:41else's child.
12:42A sharp, tearing pain moved through my lower abdomen.
12:45Finley had started to cry quietly.
12:47Jasper snapped at Vivian without thinking.
12:52Don't talk to him like that.
12:55He's burning up.
13:01Jasper.
13:02Vivian.
13:04I'm in pain.
13:05I lay there.
13:06Lips white.
13:07Voice barely a sound.
13:09No one heard me.
13:10I reached up and pressed the call button on the bed rail, a bitter smile pulling at my
13:14mouth.
13:14No one looked back.
13:15For the next few days, Jasper and Vivian moved carefully between my room and Finley's,
13:20back and forth, back and forth.
13:22Every time I tried to bring up breaking up, Jasper talked over me.
13:25The last time, Vivian wasn't in the room.
13:28A thread of impatience finally showed in his voice.
13:30Regardless of everything, Finley is my son.
13:34He'll be our child's older brother.
13:37Nina, can you just try to be bigger than this?
13:40My whole body had gone cold.
13:42The man in front of me was like a stranger.
13:45Before I could get a single word out, Vivian's voice tore through the door.
13:49Jasper!
13:49Finley is gone!
13:50Get out here and help me find him!
13:53So Jasper left.
13:54Leave me alone again.
13:56I closed my eyes.
13:57A moment later, the blanket suddenly shifted.
14:00The missing Finley was standing at my bedside, staring at me with wide, uncertain eyes.
14:05Miss Nina, you're my dad and mom's best friend, right?
14:08Can you take me to get a cupcake?
14:12They say I'll get cavities eating it, but I really, really can't help it.
14:18It was very hard to say no to that small, cute face.
14:21The bakery was just across from the hospital.
14:23We were crossing the street when Finley suddenly grabbed my hand and stopped walking.
14:27His voice was still soft and small.
14:30Miss Nina, can you go to the hell?
14:34If you were dead, daddy wouldn't have to sneak around to see mommy anymore.
14:40I want to see who daddy chooses.
14:42You or me and mommy.
14:44He shoved me with everything he had.
14:47I went into the trap.
14:49The last thing I saw was Jasper and Vivian's faces.
14:52Horror breaking them both open at once.
14:55Several cars tore past me, close enough to feel.
14:57My mind drifted without direction.
15:00If I actually died, would they grieve?
15:03Or would they feel relief settling in quietly, like a window finally opened?
15:08Without me, Jasper and Vivian could be together in the open.
15:11No more monthly secrets.
15:13No more hiding.
15:14I thought of the night I stood outside that guest room door,
15:17their bodies tangled together, shattered, desperate.
15:20Like there was no one else left in the world but the two of them.
15:22They shared a pain I was never part of.
15:25And I was the one who had caused it.
15:26After I lost consciousness, I passed through the ICU more times than I could count.
15:31Each time, the doctors issued the same warning, critical condition.
15:35A month later, I returned to something close to awareness.
15:38I couldn't move.
15:39I could just lay in the bed and listen.
15:42Every day, I could hear Vivian crying like something inside her was breaking in half.
15:46The first day my arm could lift.
15:48All three of them were in my room at once.
15:50Jasper had forced Finley to his knees at my bedside, one firm hand on his shoulder.
15:54Finley wept, furious and unrepentant.
15:57I didn't do anything wrong.
15:58I just wanted to know, would dad choose her, the vicious woman, or me and mom?
16:05The sound of her palm connecting with Finley's cheek rang through the empty room.
16:09Finley, I am telling you, if anything happens to Nina, it won't just be your father who walks away.
16:16I will too.
16:18You'll have no one.
16:20You'll be homeless!
16:22Finley hit the floor.
16:24He stared up at the two people he called his parents as if he had never seen them before.
16:28His lips trembled.
16:30Oh!
16:31I hate you!
16:32You're not my parents anymore!
16:35You're both terrible people!
16:38Finley, keep your voice down.
16:40She's sleeping.
16:42I listened to all of it, and felt nothing ease inside me.
16:45They must love this child deeply.
16:47How else could a child become so casually, genuinely cruel?
16:51He wasn't really like either of them, in the end.
16:53Finley bolted from the room.
16:55Jasper and Vivian both called his name and ran after him.
16:58I knocked my water glass off the nightstand.
17:00It shattered.
17:01I opened my eyes in silence.
17:03Both of them stopped mid-step.
17:05For the first time, they chose me over Finley.
17:08Nina, you're awake.
17:12Do you have any idea how scared we were when the doctors said there was a chance you'd never wake
17:16up?
17:17I kept thinking, if you never came back, I would still write your name into the Hale family records.
17:24After everything.
17:26After all of it.
17:28When we're gone, we'd still be buried side by side.
17:31I swore it.
17:31All I felt was nausea.
17:34Ridiculous.
17:35How was it possible that this man still believed that I would never leave him?
17:38Buried together?
17:39As if I'd want his name following me into whatever came next.
17:43Vivian gripped my other hand.
17:45She was crying too hard to speak.
17:47Only a broken, forced sorry kept forcing its way out of her throat.
17:50I looked at their faces, both wrecked with regret, and felt absolutely nothing.
17:54Like my heart had forgotten how.
17:56I pulled my hands back, calm as still water.
18:00Jasper.
18:01Vivian.
18:02Let me go.
18:03Don't look for me after this.
18:10They both went still.
18:11And I noticed something almost funny.
18:13Growing up together had made them mirror each other in ways they'd never seen.
18:17Small expressions.
18:18The same angle of stillness.
18:20Vivian bent over the side of my bed and wept without stopping.
18:23She was usually immaculate.
18:25But during the weeks she'd spent here, she had stopped caring about any of that.
18:29Her hair was undone.
18:30Her face was raw from crying.
18:33Nina.
18:33If you don't want Finling around, I swear I'll keep him overseas forever.
18:38He will never be in front of you again.
18:41Her voice was in pieces.
18:42He was never supposed to happen.
18:44I watched her quietly.
18:46After a long moment.
18:47What about me?
18:49I nearly died.
18:50Does that just get forgiven and forgotten?
18:53And my baby is gone.
18:56Jasper dropped to his knees.
18:59Nina.
19:00He's still my son.
19:02I won't claim him.
19:03But can you let this one thing go?
19:10Just this.
19:12I felt perfectly calm.
19:13So I nodded.
19:15Fine.
19:16Transfer the money.
19:18What?
19:19The legal compensation amount.
19:22Wire it to my account.
19:25After that, we're square.
19:33I know I was wrong.
19:35I know it.
19:36Please, Nina.
19:38Give me one more chance.
19:40I won't see Vivian again.
19:42I promise.
19:43Never again.
19:45Please.
19:47Vivian had been pushed to the floor.
19:49She didn't have the strength to get up.
19:51They were both afraid.
19:53The doctor walked in, furious, and pulled Jasper off me.
19:56Are you trying to hurt her?
19:58She's unstable.
19:59She could go under at any moment.
20:02Doctor, can I have a wash?
20:04I feel dirty.
20:05Where he touched.
20:07Jasper's face went gray, slowly, like light leaving a room.
20:11I turned to Vivian.
20:13She was staring at nothing, murmuring fragments under her breath.
20:16Nina, I'm sorry.
20:18I didn't mean for any of this.
20:21Vivian, be honest with me.
20:25Is there really nothing there?
20:27No feeling at all?
20:29Vivian's lips started to shake.
20:31I kept going.
20:32The way you talk about someone else's story.
20:35It can't be nothing.
20:37Every guy you've ever been with, you were done in under a month.
20:41Always.
20:43So how did you stay married to someone you supposedly hated for five whole years?
20:49He couldn't stand your wildness.
20:52You couldn't stand his control.
20:54So staying half-connected was the safest place for both of you, wasn't it?
20:59But why did your little game have to involve me?
21:03You both decided I could never leave.
21:06That I'd been too dependent on you since the beginning.
21:09So even if I found out, what was I going to do?
21:14Where else would I find people as useful as you two?
21:18No, it wasn't like that.
21:21Vivian shook her head desperately, tears spilling through her fingers.
21:26It just happened.
21:28We couldn't stop it.
21:30I was done listening.
21:32After that, they became perfectly, carefully obedient.
21:36Jasper and Vivian stopped trading words.
21:38They stopped making eye contact.
21:40The easy rhythm they'd always had with each other, gone.
21:43After all these years, they had finally become strangers.
21:46At the cost of a life that had never even had the chance to be born.
21:50I grew quieter every day.
21:51They pushed food on me, supplements, anything.
21:54I lost weight anyway, visibly, week by week.
21:58And then one afternoon, while both of them were out of the room, I slipped out through the window.
22:04She was gone.
22:06Jasper and Vivian didn't realize it right away.
22:08She had bribed the nurses.
22:10They told the two of them she had only stepped out for some air.
22:12But midnight came, and she didn't come back.
22:15They stormed the nurses' station in a panic.
22:17And that was when they found out, she had checked herself out days ago.
22:21Everything had been handled quietly, in advance.
22:24She had kept paying for the room just to keep them from suspecting anything.
22:27Jasper called my phone until his thumb went numb.
22:30Every time, the same mechanical voice answered.
22:35Vivian stood with her phone in her hand, staring at nothing.
22:38She tried to think of someone, anyone, she could call.
22:41A mutual friend who might know something.
22:44That was when it hit her.
22:45I didn't really have anyone else.
22:47All these years, outside of the two of them, Nina had no one she was truly close to.
22:51And what had Vivian been doing this whole time?
22:54She pressed her hands over her face.
22:56A broken sound crawled out from between her fingers.
22:59They walked home in a daze.
23:00Nina's things were gone.
23:02Every single one.
23:03I had cleared myself out so completely that it was as if I had studied how to disappear.
23:07While they had been busy trying to fix things, she had been quietly planning her exit.
23:12She hated them.
23:13That was the only explanation for leaving nothing behind.
23:16Vivian collapsed onto the floor and sobbed into her hands.
23:19She remembered the first time she ever saw Nina.
23:22This awkward, rough-around-the-edges girl, a nouveau riche businessman's daughter.
23:26Newly arrived, impossible to place in a world but had very specific ideas about where people belonged.
23:31Nina's accent wasn't right.
23:33Her French was painful.
23:34She tripped over my words constantly.
23:36At first, Vivian had only reached out because she was curious.
23:40But then she started to notice.
23:42This girl was relentlessly, stubbornly unwilling to lose.
23:46It didn't matter that everyone laughed.
23:48It didn't matter that she never fit.
23:50Nina worked in secret, drilling her vowels before dawn, memorizing phrases during lunch,
23:54quietly logging the exact way her classmates sneered so she could practice erasing every trace of where she came from.
23:59One year.
24:00Two years.
24:01Nina went from the bottom of the class to the top.
24:04Her accent became flawless.
24:05Her second language started to sound like a first.
24:08Vivian, for the first time in her life, felt a still pond inside her start to move.
24:13Then one afternoon, an ex-boyfriend of Vivian's showed up at the school gate with a group of guys, looking
24:18for payback.
24:19Nina was weak and she was shaking.
24:21She stepped in front of Vivian anyway.
24:23She took three cuts before anyone could pull them apart.
24:26After that, Vivian had one person in the world she would bleed for.
24:30And look what she had done with that.
24:32Vivian crumpled against the wall in silence.
24:35Completely undone.
24:36Jasper kept redialing on autopilot.
24:38He didn't understand how things had gotten this far.
24:41When they were young, it had all seemed so stable.
24:44So easy.
24:45He hadn't noticed Nina at first.
24:47He knew there was a new girl in the neighborhood, some businessman's daughter from the countryside, but Jasper had never
24:52been the type to pay attention to people who hadn't earned it yet.
24:54Then Vivian brought her over.
24:56Jasper had known Vivian since before either of them could remember.
25:00He had never once seen her give her real self to anyone.
25:03So the fact that she had, that this particular girl had gotten through, made him look.
25:07And when he looked, he couldn't stop.
25:11She was nothing like Vivian.
25:13And something about that got under his skin in a way he hadn't expected.
25:17He still picked fights with Vivian out of pure habit.
25:19But his eyes kept finding Nina.
25:21When graduation came, Vivian left the country without looking back.
25:25Jasper felt a rage he couldn't name or explain.
25:28The night of the farewell party, Nina had stayed home to take care of her sick parents.
25:32She wasn't there.
25:33So Jasper cornered Vivian and started pouring drinks.
25:37For both of them.
25:38Looking for a fight, as always.
25:40They woke up the next morning with a marriage certificate neither of them had intended to sign.
25:44Neither of them said a word about divorce.
25:47Vivian left for the airport the next day.
25:49Then Finley came.
25:50And the thing that should have been said out loud became something neither of them could figure out how to
25:54say at all.
25:55So they let it sit.
25:56Told themselves it wasn't really happening.
25:58Assumed that when it finally surfaced, it wouldn't matter.
26:02Suddenly, Vivian grabbed something off the floor and hurled it at Jasper.
26:06Then another thing.
26:07Then another.
26:08Jasper stood there and took every single one, until the blood ran.
26:11When she ran out of things to throw, Vivian turned her hands on herself.
26:15Striking her own face until she spat blood onto the floor.
26:29My parents came and took me home, back to the countryside.
26:33The day I went out that window, there was a safety mat already waiting on the ground below.
26:37I had placed it their days in advance.
26:39Jasper and Vivian had people everywhere in that hospital.
26:42It was the only way out that none of them would see coming.
26:44My parents had stepped away from everything a long time ago.
26:48Retired, quiet, off the grid.
26:50I had stayed behind for Jasper.
26:52I hadn't gone with them.
26:54They picked me up without asking questions.
26:56I was thin in a way that showed, and they simply held me tighter and gave me more.
27:00One night I woke up at 3 in the morning and heard them in the next room,
27:03talking in low voices about how to go after the Hale family.
27:06They had looked into it on their own.
27:08I hadn't told them anything, and they had gone and found out anyway.
27:11My eyes burned.
27:13Someone had loved me this deeply the whole time.
27:15So how did I let something as hollow as that blind me for so long?
27:18The countryside settled into me slowly.
27:21The rhythm of it, early light, simple work, early dark, scraped the noise out of me.
27:25My body, which had refused to hold weight for months, finally started to fill back out.
27:30My parents had quietly funded a number of small schools in the area after they retired.
27:34There was one in the town we lived.
27:36When I had time, I would go and help the kids with their reading.
27:40That was where I met Elise.
27:41At first it was her profile that caught my eye, the way the light hit her cheekbone,
27:45an angle that reminded me of Vivian.
27:47But Elise was nothing like Vivian.
27:49She was shy, slow to speak, quick to turn red.
27:53When she got upset, her eyes just went glassy and still.
27:56There was no performance in her.
27:58Half a day was all it took to tell them completely apart.
28:00Elise had grown up right here, in this town.
28:03Everything about her moved at the same honest, unhurried pace as the people around her, warm,
28:08unguarded, exactly what it appeared to be.
28:10She was a local girl who had gone to university, come back with a degree, and chosen to stay
28:15and build something instead of leaving.
28:17Somewhere in the middle of our conversations, my guard came down without my noticing.
28:21I started to tell her things I had never said out loud to anyone.
28:24Elise cried on my behalf before I even finished.
28:27I'd be halfway through a sentence and she'd already be a mess, so I'd stop and go take
28:31care of her instead.
28:33She asked once, sniffling.
28:35I touched my stomach.
28:37Empty.
28:38Quiet.
28:38A small life had almost existed there.
28:41Maybe it was better, the way things turned out.
28:43Better for that child, too.
28:46Long ago.
28:46I said.
28:47I was looking at the dry, yellowed leaves on the ground when I said it.
28:51And it was true.
28:52Those old wounds.
28:53All of it, Jasper, Vivian, it would become what old things always become.
28:57A faded photograph.
28:58Something you find in a drawer and no longer recognize yourself inside.
29:02I didn't regret any of it.
29:04Not long after, the community organized a matchmaking social in the town.
29:08My father had contributed more to this place than almost anyone, but he wanted no part of
29:13the event.
29:13So the man who ran the town came looking for me to fill his seat instead.
29:17I went.
29:18Mostly out of politeness.
29:20I was surprised to find how many young people had actually chosen to come back here and build
29:24something.
29:24I exchanged numbers with a few of them and was making my way to a quiet corner when a commotion
29:28broke out in the middle of the crowd.
29:32I pushed through to see what was happening.
29:34The man at the center of it, bleeding and wild-eyed, was Jasper.
29:41Nobody knows what got into him.
29:43He just came out of nowhere and started swinging.
29:46And of all people to go after, those are some of the best looking guys at this whole event.
29:50What a waste.
29:51Someone's already called the police.
29:53I looked around.
29:56Every man on the ground was someone I had exchanged numbers with that afternoon.
30:00Jasper's eyes were red.
30:01He was swinging at anyone within reach, completely lost.
30:05Vivian stood to the side, trying to grab his arm, completely at a loss.
30:09Someone in the crowd shouted.
30:17Vivian went completely still.
30:19Then her eyes found mine across the crowd.
30:22She grabbed Jasper by the ear and yanked him around.
30:30Jasper's breath caught.
30:31He looked up and walked onto my face like it was the only thing in the world.
30:35Then something behind his eyes came back online, slow, disoriented, like a man waking up somewhere
30:40he didn't recognize.
30:41He started walking toward me.
30:46Nina, don't be scared.
30:48I won't let anyone touch you.
30:53Elise abandoned whoever she'd been talking to and was at my side in seconds, arms around me,
30:58eyes cutting straight through Jasper and Vivian.
31:01Who are you people?
31:02Across the wall of bodies, Jasper and I looked at each other from a distance.
31:06I let my voice carry.
31:08Jasper.
31:10No one here has ever hurt me.
31:12The hardest thing I ever lived through, that's already behind me.
31:20So I didn't see it.
31:21Vivian's eyes fixed on the place where our arms met and stayed there.
31:24One tear dropped before she could stop it.
31:27She has, she has some in here.
31:30After that, the two of them kept drifting around the town.
31:33The locals had their faces memorized within a week and made sure every visit cost them something.
31:37They were reported to the police again and again.
31:40They kept showing up anyway.
31:42Never close.
31:43Always at a distance.
31:44Just watching.
31:45Elise, meeting the two people from my story in person for the first time, was so furious she could barely
31:50speak and immediately decided she was going to be within arm's reach of me at all hours.
31:54I didn't know whether to laugh or sigh.
31:57This is a civilized country.
31:58They can't exactly kidnap me.
32:01What are you so worried about?
32:02Elise plugged her ears and refused to hear it and stayed glued to my side regardless.
32:06But no one stays vigilant forever.
32:09One afternoon, the principal pulled Elise into a meeting and I stayed behind in the classroom to pack up the
32:13teaching materials.
32:14When I looked up, Jasper and Vivian were standing in the doorway together, not demanding, just looking at me like
32:20they were asking for something they had no right to ask for.
32:24Nina, can we talk?
32:29There's nothing to talk about.
32:32Just once.
32:34Say what you need to say and we'll leave.
32:36We won't bother you again.
32:38We won't bother you again.
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