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00:00As a floppy-haired old man once said, I hate endings.
00:03And maybe he was talking about these ones.
00:06I'm Ellie for Who Culture, and these are 10 Doctor Who endings that get worse the more you think about
00:11them.
00:12Number 10. The Devil's Chord.
00:14After we see the Doctor do musical battle with Maestro and silence the god of music,
00:20we're then treated, if that's the right word, to a big song and dance number featuring the cast of the
00:25episode.
00:26It's a nice idea and all, and the production itself is slick.
00:30But why?
00:31It's not like we had any other musical numbers throughout this episode, nor in Doctor Who itself.
00:35There's zero setup for it, and it just sort of happens.
00:39As a result, this all-singing, all-dancing burst of song feels very, very jarring, and very, very weird.
00:46An explanation for why this happened can be found in a cut line of dialogue in which the Doctor explains
00:51to Ruby that,
00:52quote, music is flooding back in and everything's gonna be strange for 10 minutes.
00:56And while that solves that part of the problem, the bigger problem remains that this was an incredibly divisive ending,
01:03and even those that did like it still thought it was a bit bizarre.
01:06In hindsight, we now know that, like all the fourth wall breaks,
01:10this was one of many random moments in RTD2 that would go unexplained.
01:14And looking back, we can probably now quite rightly say that this was only thrown in there for the content,
01:19rather than it being right for the story.
01:23Number nine, It Takes You Away.
01:25It Takes You Away is a classic example of a rough ending,
01:29overshadowing what is otherwise a pretty great episode of Doctor Who.
01:33During the story, we see the Doctor and her fam find their way into an alternate universe,
01:38where it appears that people's loved ones have returned from the grave.
01:41This presents Graham with a dilemma.
01:43Stay in this world where he can live with grace, despite knowing it's not real,
01:47or return to reality.
01:48It's extremely effective and beautifully portrayed,
01:51with this idyllic reality containing a constant undercurrent of menace throughout.
01:56Not to mention the literal undercurrent of menace in the form of the anti-zone,
02:00giving us some of the best character work of the 13th Doctor's era.
02:04The episode then takes a sharp turn off a cliff,
02:07and becomes even more surreal and a lot more nonsensical,
02:10when the Doctor has a conversation with a frog sat on a chair.
02:13It feels more Monty Python sketch than Doctor Who,
02:16and was widely mocked upon the episode's broadcast in 2018.
02:19It's such a shame, because this scene now dominates the episode's reputation,
02:24rather than the pretty great episode leading up to it.
02:27You can see what they were going for, but it just didn't work,
02:29with the decision to give the frog Grace's voice
02:32equally as strange as the decision to have a talking frog in the first place.
02:36Would it have looked better as a CGI creature?
02:38Well, I can't possibly say.
02:39But what I can say is that It Takes You Away will always be remembered as
02:43the one with the talking frog.
02:45Number 8. Last of the Time Lords
02:47Series finales can be tricky to nail.
02:51You've got to wrap up your arcs, have the heroes find a way to defeat the big villain,
02:55deliver a solid individual episode, and maybe even set up the next series.
02:59All in a tight 45-minute episode.
03:01Easier said than done.
03:02Last of the Time Lords actually almost does stick the landing.
03:06Having the Doctor's plan be to defeat the Master with words and hope,
03:09rather than a super-duper special magic gun, is actually brilliant.
03:12And even more, it's Martha who executes this plan,
03:15giving her more agency than many other companions,
03:18and showing why she has always deserved to travel with the Doctor.
03:21So far, so good.
03:22But all this goodwill quickly falls apart when you see David Tennant
03:26turn from a wrinkly little CGI goblin to a floating blue wizard
03:30that has since affectionately been dubbed by fans, Space Jesus.
03:33That big ol' reset button is then hit,
03:36effectively undoing all the drama and consequences seen in the previous two episodes.
03:41What was the point in any of it?
03:43It all feels very convenient and just an easy way to re-establish the status quo,
03:47which is a criticism that can be levelled at most Russell T. Davis finales, to be fair.
03:51But this one is more egregious than most.
03:54And hilariously, nobody ever addresses the fact that the entire world
03:57still saw the President assassinated on live TV.
04:00So I guess none of it mattered in the first place.
04:03Number 7. Kill the Moon
04:05Any companion who travels with the Doctor should be able to prove they can stand without them,
04:10and they're not just along for the ride.
04:12But it can be a fine line to toe.
04:14This works best in a scenario where the Doctor is unable to help,
04:17and the companion has to rise to the occasion to save the day,
04:20much like Last of the Time Lords.
04:22It's somewhat less effective when the Doctor just abandons his best friend
04:26because he doesn't really feel like helping out this time.
04:28While this does lead to the fantastic scene
04:30where Clara gives 12 a good dressing down about the trauma he put her through,
04:34you can't help but feel it destroys a bit of our faith in the Doctor along with Clara's.
04:39He's meant to be our hero that will always have our back,
04:42but now we can't help but look at him and wonder if it's all just a big game to him.
04:45But that's not the worst bit,
04:46and honestly it's not even that bad compared to what comes next,
04:49when the Doctor casually mentions,
04:51the moon is an egg.
04:52What?
04:53What?
04:54What?
04:55So every time we've seen the moon before this, it was an egg?
04:58When we see the werewolf transformation in Tooth and Claw,
05:01that was the doing of an egg?
05:03In Smith and Jones, all those people who got transported to the moon
05:06were in fact having a breakdown on the shell of a giant egg?
05:08And the entire climax of Day of the Moon centres around Neil Armstrong walking on a great big egg?
05:13It's strange and weird and every other synonym you can think of,
05:17stretching Doctor Who's pseudoscience to its breaking point,
05:20and making you not even want to think about the rest of the episode,
05:23let alone re-watch it.
05:25Number 6.
05:26Revolution of the Daleks
05:27The Daleks' stories were a high point of Thirteen's era,
05:31showing us new versions of the show's oldest and most classic monster,
05:35and once again proving why they take the top spot of Arch Nemesis.
05:39The problems with Revolution of the Daleks come when the writers suddenly realised
05:43they only had 10 minutes of screen time left
05:45and still had to say bye-byes to Captain Jack, Ryan and Graham.
05:49After an exciting return for Jack in Fugitive of the Jadoon,
05:52and a fun prison break sequence at the start of this episode,
05:56it was nice to see him and the Doctor share a nice heartfelt goodbye,
05:59as these long-time friends part ways again.
06:02Oh, wait.
06:03Sorry, no, no, no.
06:04What we actually got was a rushed voiceover of Jack having already left off-screen,
06:08as he calls the Doctor to let her know what he's up to next.
06:11All righty then.
06:13But while Ryan and Graham do actually get an emotional exit from the TARDIS,
06:17it's then somewhat sullied by an unfathomably clunky final scene,
06:21where Ryan's all-but-forgotten dyspraxia,
06:23which was introduced all the way back in his first episode as a huge storyline for him,
06:28returns in a half-hearted attempt to bring things full circle,
06:31before he falls off his bike and a laughable hologram of grace appears before their eyes.
06:36Ah, well, at least she wasn't a frog this time.
06:38What's weird about this ending is that it was very nearly the end of the 13th Doctor's era as a
06:42whole,
06:43with the COVID-19 pandemic almost preventing Series 13 from going ahead.
06:47Viewed through that lens, it becomes even more distressing and funny
06:51that potentially the last thing we saw from Doctor Who for quite some time was this.
06:57Number 5. Closing Time
06:59It says a lot about how well the Cybermen were used in the 11th Doctor's era,
07:04but their greatest appearance was as an arm on the floor.
07:08Outside of turning them into super-speedy Iron Man knock-offs,
07:11their biggest indignity came during the climax of Closing Time,
07:14where they were defeated by the immense power of a baby crying.
07:19And no, we're not talking about James Corden.
07:21Who knew that all it took to overcome cyber-conversion was hearing your kid upset?
07:25This terrifying process that strips you of all feeling and emotion,
07:29turning you into a cold killing machine trapped in a metal body,
07:32can all be avoided if you simply just don't really feel like it.
07:36Reducing one of the Doctor's oldest and most iconic enemies to this,
07:39getting beaten by the power of love,
07:41was incredibly cheap and just really damn frustrating.
07:44Thematically, it makes sense as a moment where Craig overcomes his fears
07:47of not being a good enough dad and rises to the occasion.
07:50But this is a perfect example of why story logic should always trump emotional logic.
07:55Because all you've done is damage the Cybermen,
07:58and nobody really likes this episode anyway.
08:00And don't even get me started on 11 screaming,
08:02Daddy's coming home!
08:04Just, just, let's not go there.
08:06Number 4. Orphan 55
08:09What's worse than a fantastic episode that falls at the last hurdle?
08:13I'll tell you what.
08:14An episode that is hard to watch the entire way through,
08:17and then manages to squeeze in one last kick in the teeth before the credits roll.
08:20Doctor Who is at its best when the Doctor delivers a powerful speech
08:23that sticks with us for years to come.
08:25But you can't just have any old speech and automatically generate an all-timer moment.
08:29The Doctor's final speech in Orphan 55 is a perfect example of this.
08:33As while it might have sounded alright on paper,
08:36and there's nothing inherently wrong with the core sentiment,
08:39in execution it comes across as patronising and way too on the nose.
08:43At the time, this was a big criticism of the Chibnall era as a whole.
08:47And this was one of the worst examples.
08:48Like you were being hit with a sledgehammer rather than being told an organic story.
08:52Over the years, it hasn't exactly aged well either,
08:55and the clip itself has been downvoted into oblivion on YouTube.
09:00It wasn't helped by the terrible episode surrounding it, to be fair,
09:03nor the bizarre laughable thumb-sucking finale that preceded it.
09:07And then, just for a final bit of missing the mark entirely,
09:10the cut to a roaring dreg as the Doctor mentions what humans could become
09:14gives us one last eye roll to go out on.
09:17Lovely.
09:19Number 3.
09:20Lover Monsters
09:21Sometimes, an ending is just a bit of a disappointment
09:24after an otherwise solid episode,
09:25and we all collectively move on with our coffee-drinking,
09:28AI-slop-tolerating lives.
09:30Other times, an ending is so bad that it completely outshines the whole episode
09:34and makes everyone forget about every single other redeeming factor,
09:38instead acting as if the entire episode was the worst thing they've ever seen
09:42and an insult to Doctor Who and television itself.
09:44Which, to be fair, this one kind of is.
09:47That said, I challenge any of you to actually re-watch
09:50lover monsters and still tell me that the whole episode is terrible.
09:53There's actually a lot to like about this episode,
09:56from Linda coming together in their admiration of the Doctor,
09:59a true love letter to fandom and community,
10:02to the wider exploration of what happens to the people the Doctor leaves behind.
10:06The problems really do overshadow all the nice moments here, though,
10:10when we devolve into a chubby green alien running down the street with no clothes on.
10:14I mean, there's a reason Peter Kaye cites this episode as one of his career low points.
10:19The cherry on top of the letdown sundae is a truly cringey joke
10:23about Elton's relationship with a paving slab.
10:26Nothing more really needs to be said here, though, does it?
10:28You all knew this one would be on the list, so here it is,
10:31in all of its buttock-faced glory.
10:33Number two, the reality war.
10:36They say that time heals all wounds,
10:38but there hasn't been nearly enough time to take the sting off of this one.
10:43It's always sad when we have to say goodbye to a Doctor actor,
10:45as the beating hearts of the show, they define their eras,
10:48and there's always that level of uncertainty about who will take their place.
10:52But it's also usually a bittersweet goodbye,
10:55as they have completed their arcs and walk off into that yellow,
10:58glowy sunset with a big heartfelt farewell.
11:00Except for this one, which was a last-minute rush job
11:03after Shooty Gatwa decided to leave the role
11:05after production of the episode had already been completed.
11:09Nobody's really to blame here, because it was a difficult situation
11:12and everybody did what they thought was best.
11:14But that doesn't stop it being frustrating.
11:16Just as it felt like Gatwa was really coming into his own as the 15th Doctor,
11:21he was gone.
11:21Plus, with Season 2 improving on Season 1,
11:24there was also reason to hope that Season 3 would be even better.
11:27So to have that snatched away leaves a bitter taste in the mouth.
11:30This is less about the actual content of the ending itself,
11:33and more about what could have been.
11:35The more you think about it, the path to Season 3
11:37and a natural exit for the 15th Doctor
11:39would certainly have been preferable to a curtailed era
11:42and an 18-month wait for the next episode.
11:46And number one, Flesh and Stone.
11:48The ending of Flesh and Stone puts a bum note
11:51on a story that is otherwise near-perfect.
11:54It's not that the final few minutes are absolutely atrocious,
11:57it's that they're much worse than everything that came before,
12:00and as a result, they're mainly what the story is remembered for.
12:03We just spent two episodes enjoying the return of both the Weeping Angels
12:07and River Song, the best character,
12:10and getting some deliciously wibbly-wobbly development of the Cracks in Time arc.
12:14But things quickly begin to unravel with the unusual decision
12:17to show the Weeping Angels moving.
12:19It's difficult to imagine that the man who created the Angels
12:23as such a terrifying and mysterious force
12:25would actually write a scene that nullifies them so much.
12:29But, well, there it is.
12:31We then move to Amy's bedroom for a nice quiet scene to end the episode.
12:35Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait.
12:37She tries to cop off with the Doctor?
12:39The night before her wedding?
12:42What's worse is that the scene doesn't even end
12:44with Amy coming to her senses after a confused moment of weakness,
12:47which might have redeemed it somewhat?
12:49Seriously, Moffat, your innuendos are bad enough.
12:52You don't need to jump the shark like this.
12:53Moffat has admitted that he doesn't like this scene
12:56and I've never met anyone that actually does,
12:58which tells you all you need to know.
13:00It's quite uncomfortable to watch in hindsight,
13:02especially knowing the full trajectory of the Amy and Rory arc.
13:07You know what?
13:07River clearly had the right idea by exiting the episode just before the end.
13:12And that concludes our list.
13:14If you think we missed a perfect example,
13:16then do let us know in the comments down below.
13:18In the meantime, I've been Ellie for WhoCulture
13:20and in the words of RiverSong herself,
13:22goodbye, sweeties.
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