2Chinese Drama - FULL MOVIES ENGLISH SUB
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Short filmTranscript
00:00Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
00:32Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
01:00Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
01:03Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
01:06Oh no no no, today I'm the DF, the designated floater. You know boys, this will be the first float
01:11down I've done sober, not shit face. I might even remember this one.
01:14It's your lucky day, I have a fresh batch of my home-brewed non-alcoholic beer.
01:19Oh, that's lame now.
01:21Listen up! I am not your mom! I'm off the clock! So if you find your drunk ass face down
01:32in a lily pad somewhere, that's between you and God. Safety third, fucker.
01:39Toddler, you're looking too sober.
01:41You got a little head start. Where the fuck is Backwoods?
01:46Where the fuck is Backwoods?
01:55Oh shit.
01:56Oh fuck.
01:57That's Taser's kid.
01:58You guys touching junk down there?
01:59Hi, Sherri-Ann. No, we're just, um, we're looking for coins in the grass.
02:04Pretty sure that's not where coins go.
02:07Meat's on the move. Heads up. Meat is on the move.
02:10Yes, sir.
02:13Jesus, did you wash your hands?
02:14Don't be a dirtbag. Use the tongs to the dirtbag.
02:16They fell in the water, my dude.
02:19Those things are crawling in duck shit.
02:20Keep coming in.
02:21Fine, I'm fine.
02:22God, I love getting banged up in the water.
02:24Let's go.
02:25No, no, no, no, no, no.
02:27Here we go.
02:29Taze, my boy, it's a fucking masterpiece.
02:31Hands down the first and the best four-man micro-brew float to ever float this river.
02:36What's a frigate, man?
02:38It's a beer boat, bud.
02:39It's weird that Backwoods didn't even text me back.
02:43Yeah, that is really weird.
02:45Maybe he's dead.
02:48Jesus, that's where your mind goes first?
02:50Maybe he slept in.
02:51I don't know, maybe it's a car crash or like a boating accident or I don't know, like a crossbow
02:55misfire.
02:56I don't know, Todd, I'm brainstorming.
02:59I'm quite drunk.
03:00You stay hydrated, amigo.
03:03Crossbow?
03:07I saw them making out near the canoes when I walked up.
03:09Don't shit in your own nest.
03:11The only line for them is giving me fucking hives.
03:14Party time.
03:14Let's go.
03:15What the fuck's that, Leonard?
03:16There's an art to brewing non-alcoholic beer that most laymen can't master.
03:20Lucky laymen.
03:21Knowing the precise moment to stop the fermentation process, just short of...
03:25Flavor?
03:26It's like skanky kombucha.
03:28With a hint of ass.
03:29Leonard!
03:30Let's go!
03:31All right, all right, all right.
03:32Plug your nose in, Chuck.
03:33Disgusting.
03:34Don't got all afternoon.
03:34Please help you though.
03:35You gonna help me?
03:36No, you got it, you got it.
03:37Maybe it's time you quit spying, kid.
03:39Go build some sandcastles or something and steal some popsicles or whatever.
03:41I'll tell my dad and everyone you're dry humping.
03:44What?
03:45I'll scream it right now.
03:46He's a shit.
03:47Unless you give me some candy.
03:49Oh my God, this fucking kid.
03:51Tell me about it.
03:52What, are we getting blackmailed by a child now?
03:53Yeah, after the second time this month.
03:55Listen, you little hustler, I don't even know what we have.
03:57Here, I've got Tums, I've got some lint, and I've got a moist ciggy.
04:04I'll take the dart.
04:07Ruthless.
04:08Don't smoke.
04:09Your father's taught you well.
04:11I got a ciggy.
04:13Sucker.
04:13What the fuck am I gonna do?
04:15Well, I'm very flattered that Corn Pulse is thinking of me.
04:19And you're okay with the terms?
04:20Oh, the terms are great.
04:22Frankly, there's no other VP candidate with your kind of experience.
04:25We need to fill the position ASAP.
04:29Are you kidding me?
04:30Oh, she just doesn't stop.
04:32Chelsea, are you still there?
04:34Oh my God.
04:35Chelsea.
04:37Sickle bitch.
04:37Hello?
04:38Chelsea?
04:38Punt your face into the sun.
04:40Sorry, what?
04:41Nothing.
04:42I was talking to a seagull.
04:45I hate them.
04:46Okay.
04:47So do I.
04:48Right?
04:48So your answer is?
04:53I will let you know by the end of the day.
04:57Thanks, Donnie.
04:59Oh, mighty river.
05:01Slow and wide.
05:02We come to you, drunk and fried.
05:05And as we float together in a drunken dream, remember, puke ends up downstream.
05:12That's right, bud.
05:13I'm looking at you there.
05:14Let's not have a repeat of last year.
05:16Now, normally backwards would lead to shotgun start, but apparently you had something better
05:20to fucking do today.
05:21So, Taser has kindly stepped in.
05:29Let the weed hit hard.
05:31And your vapes not sink.
05:33Yes.
05:33May nobody drown while trying to, um, float?
05:38Drink.
05:38Ah, fuck it.
05:40Beer's at the ready.
05:41Yeah.
05:43Let's fucking go!
05:44Let's go!
05:46Oh, yeah.
05:47Come on, man.
05:48Let's go!
05:49Load him up, boys!
05:50Get your ass on the water!
05:51Get up, everyone!
05:52Get the fuck out on the river!
05:56Ha-ha!
05:59Woo!
06:00Woo!
06:00Woo!
06:01Woo!
06:01Give me a freshie!
06:01Get up!
06:04Hey, Steph!
06:05Where the fuck is Odds?
06:06I haven't seen her since we got here.
06:08It's weird she's not out on the water, no?
06:09Yup.
06:10Uh, she's, uh, totally, I...
06:14She's...
06:14She's...
06:15Sorry.
06:16Where the fuck is she?
06:17Sorry, Todd, just pissing.
06:19Can't speak and leak at the same time.
06:21Wow!
06:22You guys got it set up already?
06:23Yeah.
06:23We don't kid around when it comes to drinking.
06:25Not for float down.
06:26Not for float down.
06:27There you go.
06:28Yoinks.
06:29Aw, thanks, Conky.
06:32You don't talk much, do you?
06:33Yeah, no.
06:34But he drinks.
06:35A lot.
06:36Like more than us.
06:37Yeah.
06:40Hey!
06:42Hola!
06:43Mind if I park here?
06:44I wanna be close to the bar.
06:45Nope.
06:46It's wide open.
06:47Your usual.
06:47Thank you.
06:49You don't float?
06:51Well, someone's gotta supervise.
06:53Plus, I know what's in that river.
06:54Rusty lawn chairs and mercury?
06:56Ooh, too soon, Rod.
06:58Too soon!
07:01Fuck.
07:03She won't leave me alone.
07:04Who's that?
07:06Jen Conk.
07:07She has no boundaries.
07:08You don't need that shit.
07:10She's lucky to have you.
07:13Come on, Homer.
07:14Come on.
07:15Do it.
07:15I said I wouldn't do it anymore, all right?
07:17Come on.
07:17Do it!
07:17Do it!
07:20Ch-ch-ch-ch-chaa!
07:22Yeah!
07:23How did Maureen ever leave that?
07:26Yeah, how's it going with her?
07:27Did she take your house yet?
07:28Nah, we're fine.
07:29Not planning on a second or third wife there, Taze.
07:31Working on the fourth, buddy.
07:32Wait, what did he say?
07:34Nah, you wouldn't get it.
07:35There's a lot of beeswax back there.
07:36This current's brutal.
07:37I'm drifting.
07:38It's your float, man.
07:40You look like Jacques Cousteau fucked a filing cabinet.
07:42Yeah, some of us didn't get the nod this year to join the boyfriend's barn.
07:45Whoa!
07:46Hey!
07:46Take it easy.
07:46It's your loss.
07:48I float solo.
07:49A lone wolf.
07:50You're not going to float at all in that piece of shit, dude.
07:52Never mind.
07:53I gotta go throw a quick wizard in the bushes.
07:55That's where you are.
07:56You're in a river, for God's sake.
07:57You just have to drink this water.
07:59It's disrespectful.
08:02A toast to you, my colleague.
08:04Commendable job navigating sobriety.
08:07Delish.
08:07You know, it's got the mouthfeel of actual beer.
08:10Haha, good memories.
08:11Your approval means the world to me.
08:13You know, a lot of this N.A. stuff tastes like horse piss.
08:16But you, Leonard, are lord of the lager.
08:19Funny you say that.
08:20Just thinking you're trying to sell it online?
08:22I'm in.
08:22I'll be your silent partner.
08:23We'll be booze barons.
08:25Like, I'll be George Clooney and you can be...
08:27Shit!
08:27The other guy?
08:29Yes.
08:30You will be the other guy.
08:33Top-up time.
08:34Oh.
08:35Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.
08:37I could float away forever.
08:40Nobody would know what to do he was missing.
08:45Ow!
08:46My leg!
08:47Son of a forelock!
08:53I'm stuck!
08:58Help!
08:59Anyone!
09:01Homer!
09:03Taser!
09:06Step mommy!
09:08You know, you guys could be a little nicer to him.
09:11Do we?
09:12He knows we're just giving him the gears.
09:14He likes it, man.
09:15All I'm saying is that he's been around a lot longer than I have and you let me on the
09:20barge.
09:20I mean, it feels a little...
09:22I don't know.
09:24A little...
09:25Clicky?
09:26Is that another word for bullying?
09:27Are we the mean girls of Kong?
09:30Wicked!
09:30I'll be Lohan!
09:32When a few of the other apprentices asked to join the float, you guys literally said,
09:36are they float material?
09:37Okay.
09:37No, no, no, no, no.
09:38We have standards, okay?
09:39This isn't a soup pot, it's a stew.
09:41You either bring the spice or you get skimmed off.
09:43It's not personal.
09:43We're selective.
09:44This isn't intramural soccer.
09:46Not everyone gets to play.
09:47Totally, man.
09:49Oh my fucking god, who am I?
09:51You're Homer.
09:53Fuck, where's Dewey?
09:54He's my shooter girl.
09:55Taser's thirsty.
09:56Come on, float down!
09:58Yeah!
09:59Let's move some water!
10:02Yeah!
10:05Yeah!
10:06Yeah!
10:07Yeah!
10:07What's up, Sharky?
10:08Woohoo!
10:10Yeah!
10:11Keep your face, people!
10:12Let the river take us.
10:14Woo!
10:17Woo!
10:17One, two, one.
10:20You got a light?
10:22Help me.
10:24What's in it for me?
10:26Yeah!
10:27Are you smoking?
10:29Don't make me parent you in front of everyone!
10:32I saw Backwoods and Audrey making out under the canoes!
10:36They were using their tongues!
10:38I tried a little Tattletale!
10:39Hey, punk!
10:40This is after I paid her off!
10:42Oh, hey guys!
10:43Hey, I was just peeing!
10:44Me too!
10:44Yeah!
10:45Urinating!
10:46Just, uh, pee.
10:48Separately pee.
10:49What in the fuck, my fuck?!
10:51Rusty!
10:52Yeah, I hate to break it to you, Totter, but, uh, Backwoods and your sister have been banging.
10:56What?!
10:57Shut up, Homer, you rat!
10:58A lot!
10:58For how long?!
10:59Long time!
11:00Too long!
11:00What, total idiot?!
11:01Yep!
11:01Who knew about this?!
11:03I did!
11:04Me!
11:04We did!
11:05I did!
11:06I think pretty much everybody!
11:07Jesus!
11:08We all did!
11:08Yeah!
11:08They all knew!
11:09Who didn't?!
11:10Uh, over here, bud!
11:11Well, that checks out.
11:12Totally.
11:13So you all lied!
11:14Right to my face!
11:15What kind of people are you?!
11:16The whole crew's been taking bets on it!
11:18You're the underdog!
11:19Todd!
11:20Sweetie!
11:20Can I get you a drink?
11:21Actually, he probably doesn't need another one.
11:23Uh oh!
11:24Red alert!
11:24Red alert!
11:25He's right pissed!
11:26Betrayal!
11:27That's what this is!
11:28An absolute fucking betrayal!
11:30You two stay right where you are!
11:31Fucking chill!
11:32Todd, thank you!
11:32Okay now, Todd.
11:34Have a little drink!
11:35Go!
11:35Give me some weed!
11:36Go to my way!
11:38Well, I think we missed our chance to tell him ourselves.
11:40Maybe we should just tell him now.
11:42I'm ready.
11:42Backwards!
11:43He fucking knows!
11:43I know he knows!
11:44Fucking running!
11:45Fucking train!
11:47Okay, okay, okay.
11:49I'm coming for you, you slutty piece of rabbit shit!
11:51You broke the bro code, bro!
11:59What are you doing?
12:01Uh oh!
12:02I just did a no-no with my thumb thumbs.
12:05What?
12:05I just said the entire ball conquer pick of, uh, El Presidente.
12:10Matty, if I didn't know any better, I'd think you were wasted.
12:16We're falling behind.
12:17Hurry up.
12:17Roll, roll, roll, roll.
12:18Let's go.
12:19We were gonna die you!
12:19Yeah, but you fucking did, did ya?
12:22I hope you fucking drowned!
12:23I'm sorry!
12:24I think I broke my big coat!
12:25Good!
12:25I'm gonna fucking break the other knife!
12:27Stop running around like a scaredy bitch ass pussy dick!
12:30A lot of words in that insult!
12:31I'm trying to...
12:32Todd, I think I love her!
12:33What?
12:34You love me?
12:35Oh!
12:36I thought we were just fucking you love me now!
12:39Jesus!
12:41You don't say the word fucking!
12:42I think I just threw up in my mouth!
12:44Fuck off!
12:45Fuck off!
12:48Fuck off!
12:51No, no, no, no, no!
12:52Help me now!
12:53Stop running away, you fucking fucking idiot!
12:55You can't!
12:55Paddle me over there!
12:57No one is the boss of me, Toadstool!
12:59Actually, I am your goddamn boss!
13:01Ah!
13:01Fuck off!
13:02Jesus!
13:02Fuck!
13:03Get back over here, Pattinson!
13:05Cut your fucking head out of here!
13:07Get over here!
13:08You're nuts!
13:08Look at me!
13:10Best buds don't lie about who they're teeing off of, bud!
13:13We were gonna tell you!
13:14Stop!
13:14You're not the easiest guy to talk to!
13:16Bullshit!
13:16I'm perfectly easy to fucking talk to!
13:18No, you're not.
13:19I'm true, bud.
13:20We don't do emotions!
13:21We do beers, bugs, and that's fucking it!
13:24Boys, what the fuck?
13:25Don't we go fuck off, cricket!
13:27Let me out!
13:27Come on, it'll be fun!
13:28Yes!
13:29Come on!
13:30Ah!
13:32Sorry, my bad!
13:34Un-fucking-believable!
13:35My baby!
13:38Oh!
13:38My baby!
13:39Uh-oh!
13:40I think I'm just about to do a no-no!
13:45Oh!
13:46Oh my God!
13:48And he's got his ass off!
13:50Ass off!
13:51Oh!
13:52Oh!
13:52I caught my baby!
13:53What are you bigot?
13:54That's my sister!
13:55Ah!
13:56Not his face!
13:57Save yourself!
13:58You're fucking stomping!
13:59Go for a bitch!
14:01Oh!
14:01There you go!
14:02Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
14:06That's your unbelievable liar, man!
14:08Who wants to come top with me?
14:14What's up with Mehdi?
14:16Sunstroke?
14:17Mehdi's down!
14:17Call the medic!
14:18Mehdi!
14:19Oh, shit.
14:20Bev, are you drunk?
14:21Not even a glow.
14:23Ah!
14:25Oh no.
14:26What?
14:28Oh, shit!
14:30Stop!
14:30Oh, God, do your worst!
14:31Je ne veux pas faire de la même chose.
14:33C'est génial.
14:34Dewey aurait aimé cette fois.
14:37Dewey, où est Dewey?
14:40Dewey, c'est là.
14:40Il y a des choix de rester sur la place.
14:42Non, c'est pas mal.
14:43Je vais voir si ils ont mis un truc.
14:45Dewey, où sont-ils ?
14:50Alors, alors, alors.
14:51Il y a l'heure.
14:53Oh, mon.
14:54Vous êtes là ?
14:55Oh, fuck !
14:56Pourquoi est-ce que tout le monde a l'air ?
14:57Stop !
14:58C'est pour faire notre drama à tous les problèmes.
15:01What the fuck was that about, huh ?
15:03You two fighting because he likes her and she likes him ?
15:05You knew ?
15:06Oh, every fucking buddy knows about Oddwood.
15:08You gotta be a fucking moron not to know.
15:10That's nice.
15:11There's even a name for it.
15:12Your family ?
15:13Family doesn't handle shit like this.
15:14He lied to me.
15:16She lied to me.
15:17There's a lot of fucking lies flying around.
15:19So what ?
15:20I pretended to have shingles for a week
15:22to avoid telling your mom I lost the house out of casino.
15:24We move on.
15:25Like we did.
15:26We all moved on to that house where I had to replace the shingles.
15:28Holy shit, this is full circle, isn't it ?
15:30That's what happened to our house growing up ?
15:32Todd, the point is...
15:33So what ?
15:35Oh...
15:35No more casinos, Dad.
15:36Yeah, I'm sorry.
15:38How did you even find me ?
15:40You realize this is my day off.
15:42So, I have you on the Find My Coworker app,
15:45just in case I need to track any of my minions ?
15:48That crosses so many lines.
15:50Personal, legal, I don't even know where to start.
15:52A lady as powerful as moi
15:54just didn't have the time to play hide and seek, Chels.
15:57You don't have power, Jen.
15:58You inherited it like a spoiled kid with daddy's credit card.
16:02Oh, honey.
16:03I am the bank.
16:04And with daddy gone, I get to choose the favorite.
16:07And guess what ?
16:08I choose me.
16:09I'm done with you.
16:10I'm done with you.
16:11You narcissistic twat.
16:13And guess what ?
16:16I quit.
16:18I feel like I just took a big shit.
16:20I want something stronger.
16:22Anybody have any tequila ?
16:23Where are you, buddy ?
16:25You can come on the bar !
16:26I won't let you be Lindsay Lohan !
16:27It's over, buddy !
16:29Dewey !
16:29Dewey !
16:29Come on, man !
16:30Dewey !
16:31Where's my boy ?
16:32Oh.
16:33Oh, no.
16:34False alarm.
16:34That's just Conkey getting his tongue work out.
16:36No, buddy.
16:37Hey, Conkey !
16:38Don't mind us.
16:39Let's go, Conkey !
16:41Whoa.
16:42You're still here.
16:44Please, little girl.
16:46Help me.
16:47Dewey !
16:48Dewey !
16:48Hey, buddy !
16:49What are you doing ?
16:50I'm here.
16:51I'm here.
16:51Dad !
16:52I got eyes on him.
16:53He's in bad shape, but he's alive.
16:55Good work, daughter !
16:57Dewey !
16:58Wait twice !
16:59Do you still wanna party ?
17:00Let's go, boys !
17:01Let's go !
17:01Careful !
17:01Let me scratch on you !
17:05He said yes !
17:07He said yes, Taser !
17:09Careful !
17:10Get him out of here !
17:11Get him out of here !
17:12Get him out of here !
17:12You came back for me !
17:13Get him out of here !
17:16So, I guess there's a small chance that I may have overreacted a little bit.
17:22A lot of beers.
17:23A snap, man.
17:24I was seeing red.
17:25I mean, it's...
17:25It's fucking weird.
17:27Right.
17:27Kinda like your best friend's date and your sister weird.
17:30Pretty much exactly that.
17:31And it's just so graphic in my head.
17:33We just didn't know how to tell you.
17:35You don't need my blessing, and I don't know, if I can stop picturing it, maybe you'll be okay.
17:39Nope.
17:40Just saw it again.
17:40Fuck !
17:41That's a good picture.
17:42Okay, well, maybe this is just as good a time as any to tell you that I'm...
17:46You're not fucking pregnant.
17:47What ?
17:48I need my own space.
17:50Oh, okay.
17:51I don't know, maybe it's time for you to start sharing that hot tub with someone that you're not related
17:55to.
17:56I think we're ready for both of us to switch things up a bit.
18:00Hmm.
18:01Whoa, boss lady.
18:01Stop following me!
18:03I'll pay you more.
18:04Oh, Corn Pulse is tripling my salary.
18:06Yeah, I'll double it.
18:07I'm done.
18:08Wait.
18:09You're leaving, Chelsea?
18:11No, no, no, not yet.
18:11Chelsea!
18:12What?
18:13You can't.
18:15Chelsea, boss lady, leave.
18:17I love you guys, but it's time.
18:20I'm gonna call Donnie and let him know I accept Corn Pulse's offer for VP.
18:24Oh, no, Chelsea.
18:25Don't leave us.
18:26What?
18:26You know what?
18:27I have had enough of this!
18:29Ow!
18:30Oh, Jesus.
18:31Well, that was a conch phone, so...
18:33Worth it!
18:34You corporate...
18:36Judas!
18:36You were my sister, my right-hand lady, and like the only person who knew all my computer passwords.
18:43I know all your passwords.
18:44Not now, Janet!
18:45Well, consider this my two weeks' notice.
18:48Consider this my offer to pay for all your future plastic surgery needs.
18:53What?
18:54I know a great boob guy in Tulum.
18:55I can get you on a plane tonight and have you perky by brunch.
18:57How did your head get so far up your ass that you think new titties is what I'd want?
19:01Everyone loves new titties.
19:02What am I right, Eric?
19:03I mean, that's...
19:04Fuck titties!
19:05Listen, Todd will be a great replacement for site manager.
19:08Fuck that, Chelsea.
19:10You run our refinery.
19:11You're more of a conch than she'll ever be.
19:14You earned it.
19:14You worked your bag off to get where you are.
19:16You're not some idiot that had it handed to her.
19:18Oh, cool!
19:19Get the back!
19:20God, Audie!
19:21That is a lovely bag.
19:22Come on, Chels.
19:24You know, Chels, you're right about one thing.
19:27The site manager's office should have a Stuhl nameplate.
19:32Damn straight!
19:32Find me, Todd!
19:34Yo!
19:34Audrey Stuhl.
19:36Hmm?
19:37Who?
19:38Huh?
19:39You've just been officially promoted.
19:41Congratulations.
19:42Whoa, hold on a second.
19:43Wait.
19:44What the hell?
19:45I just got my union card.
19:47Boom.
19:48And now your management, girl.
19:49Wow, that is so fucked up.
19:51Yeah, could she actually do that?
19:52Isn't it amazing, Todd?
19:54How fast you can climb that conch ladder when you don't insult the owner.
19:59Effective immediately!
20:00Audrey Stuhl is our brand new site manager.
20:03Let's go, Janet.
20:05Janet!
20:06What the hell?
20:08Todd's sister's Todd's boss?
20:12Congrats, I guess.
20:14Hey, no offense, but Audrey?
20:15What the fuck is happening right now?
20:21Oh, dummy troubles.
20:23Get it out.
20:26Must have been something I ate.
20:28Now sip a little more near beer?
20:30The dandelion and goji have restorative properties.
20:38Leonard, if it wasn't for your friendship, I'd be right back on the sauce.
20:43I'd probably be bent over a picnic table, puking my gut.
20:47Leonard, get him!
20:49You took our real beer by accident, full of actual alcohol?
20:52Yeah, this is your stupid near beer.
20:54That's why I'm stone cold sober, and not the one making out with Conky.
20:57What? Fuck.
20:58Oh, no.
20:59To my esteemed Conk board of directors.
21:03What is he doing?
21:03In regard to the earlier image of my penis.
21:07It was a private medical image intended for my urologist.
21:13A routine mold check.
21:14Turns out my doctor's email is shockingly close to all of yours.
21:23Time to move on, huh?
21:24Forgive and forget.
21:26And speaking of hard to forget.
21:30My penis!
21:32Wait.
21:32My glorious penis!
21:35Stop it!
21:36Stop it!
21:36Stop it!
21:37Stop it!
21:38Stop it!
21:39Stop it!
21:40Stop it!
21:42Get away, Betty!
21:51Stop it!
22:07You're so sorry.
22:10You're so sorry.
22:11I'm sorry.
22:13I'm sorry.
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