Watch Call Me Brother, an independent comedy-drama about a brother and sister reunited after years apart. Filled with awkward humor, emotional moments, friendship, family dynamics, and unexpected situations, this indie comedy delivers a unique coming-of-age experience. Directed by David Howe and starring Christina Parrish and Andrew Dismukes.
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#ComedyFilm
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Category
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:06I'll be right back.
00:00:36I'll be right back.
00:00:49I'll be right back.
00:00:53Breakfast is ready.
00:00:56Coming!
00:01:23I'll be right back.
00:01:25I'll be right back.
00:01:26Hey, Tony.
00:01:26It's Lisa.
00:01:28Remember me?
00:01:29Just kidding.
00:01:30I'm going to be there early in the morning tomorrow.
00:01:33So, yeah.
00:01:35I can't believe it's been 10 years.
00:01:39It's crazy.
00:01:42I can't wait to see you.
00:01:45I don't really know why I'm calling, but just want to let you know.
00:01:49Okay.
00:01:49I'll see you soon.
00:01:51Bye.
00:01:52Okay.
00:01:53Do you have your toothbrush?
00:01:54Yeah.
00:01:55Don't let your dad feed you whatever he wants, okay?
00:01:57Yeah.
00:01:57Don't call so much.
00:01:58I know you like to call.
00:02:00Sure.
00:02:00I'm going to be there early on Sunday, so do not make me wait, okay?
00:02:03I got it.
00:02:04Excuse me?
00:02:05I got it.
00:02:06What?
00:02:06Don't talk to me like that.
00:02:08What?
00:02:08No.
00:02:09Yes.
00:02:09I'm sorry.
00:02:10I got it.
00:02:11Okay.
00:02:11I love you.
00:02:12I know.
00:02:14Give your brother a big squeeze for me, okay?
00:02:16Wait.
00:02:16You're not going to come in?
00:02:17No.
00:02:18God damn it, Lisa.
00:02:19I've got to catch a fucking flight, okay?
00:02:21Shit.
00:02:23Go.
00:02:24I've got to get out.
00:02:25Did you hear me?
00:02:26Yes.
00:02:26Okay.
00:02:27Get out.
00:02:27I've got to go.
00:02:29No.
00:02:30God damn it, Lisa.
00:02:31We just got that.
00:02:32It's grandma's.
00:02:34Love you.
00:02:51Lisa, I am so glad to finally meet you.
00:02:54Yeah.
00:02:55I'm really excited about us getting to know each other.
00:02:58Your dad tells me all sorts of things about you.
00:03:01And, of course, I know all about you already, mister.
00:03:04I wash your sheets.
00:03:06That's my boy.
00:03:08Oh, um, I hope you don't mind sharing a room.
00:03:12For God's sake, you kids used to bathe together.
00:03:14Yeah.
00:03:15That was fun.
00:03:16We're making the spare room into a beautiful sitting room.
00:03:20For sitting?
00:03:21Yes.
00:03:23What else?
00:03:24That's it.
00:03:26That's it?
00:03:27Yes.
00:03:30Lisa, I know this is new for you, but I want you to know Doris is here to stay.
00:03:34You're going to fall in love with her just like I have.
00:03:36Aww.
00:03:38Doris actually cooks.
00:03:41How did you guys meet?
00:03:43Well, I was at a gas station.
00:03:45Your mother had just sent me divorce papers.
00:03:47And I saw this pathetic looking man just leaning on the counter.
00:03:51That was me.
00:03:52And I leaned in and I said, I like your look.
00:03:57She took me to a hotel.
00:03:59We drank and drank.
00:04:00And she talked me through everything.
00:04:02I had just finished an online course in psychology.
00:04:04I finally felt like I could let everything out without feeling judged.
00:04:08And we've been going strong ever since.
00:04:10Hmm.
00:04:11Hmm.
00:04:11She's the one kids.
00:04:12Wow.
00:04:13Well, I'm happy for you guys.
00:04:18Oh, honey.
00:04:19I'm running so late.
00:04:20Oh.
00:04:23Anything?
00:04:24Hmm.
00:04:24Sharp as a rock.
00:04:25Now I've got a rock for you.
00:04:32Bye, Dad.
00:04:32It's Frank.
00:04:39Hmm.
00:05:53God damn it, don't.
00:05:55It's all about the follow through.
00:05:57You sound just like Katie.
00:05:59Oh yeah?
00:05:59Yeah.
00:06:00She wasn't saying that last night.
00:06:03Oh yeah!
00:06:04That's my girlfriend.
00:06:04You like that?
00:06:06You like that dick?
00:06:07You know she wouldn't do that.
00:06:08She's a good girl.
00:06:09She's fucking good.
00:06:10She's gonna suck that trashy ass dick.
00:06:12Oh yeah?
00:06:13Yeah.
00:06:13You're saying that now, but she recycled my cum last night.
00:06:22Hello, welcome to Speedway Market.
00:06:25That's my dick.
00:06:26That's your dick.
00:06:28That's your dick.
00:06:30You know they say raisins are an aphrodisiac.
00:06:34They do?
00:06:35No.
00:06:38Chocolate is so.
00:06:39I hate chocolate.
00:06:42Oh.
00:06:46Remember that time you broke into Mom's Halloween candy and she made you eat the whole bag?
00:06:52Yeah.
00:06:52Yeah.
00:06:54Yeah, that was funny.
00:07:03Thanks.
00:07:12Oh, uh, got a little something.
00:07:16What is it?
00:07:17I think it's just bite grease.
00:07:21Got it.
00:07:23Thanks.
00:07:24Anything for the pretty lady.
00:07:38Hi.
00:07:39Hey.
00:07:43That's $7.85?
00:07:47Keep the change.
00:07:49Uh, I can.
00:07:50It messes up the drawer.
00:07:52Just keep it.
00:07:55But it messes up the drawer.
00:08:11I could have used that!
00:08:13What the fuck?
00:08:14It's just $2.
00:08:15What's the big deal?
00:08:16Yeah?
00:08:16Yeah.
00:08:17Katie only takes cash.
00:08:19Ha ha ha.
00:08:20Aw, yeah.
00:08:20You get upset?
00:08:22Yeah.
00:08:33Don't fall.
00:08:33Stop.
00:08:34That's cheating.
00:08:34Don't fall.
00:08:44Hey.
00:08:46What?
00:08:47Chicken butt.
00:08:49Nice.
00:08:53Mom said hi.
00:08:56Hi.
00:08:59You should tell her that.
00:09:02I would.
00:09:03If I even knew what she looked like anymore.
00:09:06Oh, come on.
00:09:11Checkmate.
00:09:12That's not what that means.
00:09:17I wish you'd visit.
00:09:21You look different.
00:09:23What?
00:09:25I don't know.
00:09:26Could it be my charming good looks?
00:09:30And my sensitive eyes?
00:09:32And my ability to chuck a .44 ounce?
00:09:35Do it.
00:09:39Oh, no.
00:09:41You're not gonna.
00:09:42No, you can't.
00:09:45Ha ha.
00:09:46Oh, no.
00:10:05You're not gonna.
00:10:05The other is great.
00:10:07But I think women would agree.
00:10:09Getting home to cuddle up with their men is nice, too.
00:10:12But here's the thing.
00:10:13About half of men over 40 have some degree of erectile dysfunction.
00:10:17Ask your doctor if your heart is healthy enough for sex.
00:10:20Do not take Viagra if you take nitrates for chest pain.
00:10:23My name's Lisa and I got back.
00:10:26My name is Tony and I got back.
00:10:29Prove it.
00:10:30Retile.
00:10:55How you feeling?
00:10:57The toilet looks like I pissed blue ink.
00:11:04I lied.
00:11:06You don't look different.
00:11:09You look the same.
00:11:10The same as always.
00:11:16Would you want to watch something?
00:11:18Yeah.
00:11:40I'm really glad you're here.
00:11:42Love you, Tony.
00:11:56What?
00:11:59What?
00:12:00What?
00:12:06What?
00:12:16What?
00:12:17What?
00:12:18What?
00:12:19What?
00:12:21What?
00:12:30What's it doing here?
00:12:31Tony, are you awake?
00:12:36No, I was sleeping.
00:12:39I just tried to sound.
00:12:43That's weird.
00:12:45Did you hear that?
00:12:47No.
00:12:49Was that you?
00:12:51No, you're hearing things.
00:12:56Okay, good night.
00:13:02Love you.
00:13:05Yeah, love you, love you too.
00:13:45Hey, I'm not here.
00:13:48You know what they say.
00:13:49A bird's got to fly, and this time it's to Cancun, baby.
00:13:53I probably won't get back to you because I'm having the time of my life.
00:13:57Woo!
00:13:58Hey, peaches.
00:13:59Oh, hey, Dad.
00:14:01Call me Frank.
00:14:04Want a peach?
00:14:06No, I'm okay.
00:14:07I'm going to get you one anyways.
00:14:11So, uh, shouldn't you be in school or something?
00:14:14It's summer.
00:14:16Right.
00:14:17Do you need, um, tampons or anything?
00:14:20No, I'm okay.
00:14:22You sure?
00:14:23Doris has a butt tongue.
00:14:25Um, um, I'm set.
00:14:27Seriously, that girl bleeds like she's been mauled by a bear.
00:14:30Jeez.
00:14:32Too bad I'm the bear.
00:14:38Are you having, uh, sex or anything?
00:14:41No, I would never.
00:14:43Oh, great.
00:14:43Great, that's good.
00:14:45You like your, uh, room?
00:14:47Yeah, it's fun having a roomie.
00:14:49Especially a roomie you can't have sex with.
00:14:52Yeah.
00:14:53Hmm.
00:14:54Hey.
00:14:58It's really important to me that you and Doris get along.
00:15:02She's new to the whole stepmom thing.
00:15:04Yeah, of course.
00:15:06She seems nice.
00:15:07Oh, God, yes.
00:15:10Nice in so many ways.
00:15:13You seem happy, Dad.
00:15:15Please, call me Frank.
00:15:17Why?
00:15:19Doris calls me Dad in the bedroom.
00:15:21You mean Daddy?
00:15:22No, I mean Dad.
00:15:26So it's really kind of weird when you guys say it.
00:15:28Got it.
00:15:29Uh-huh.
00:15:57Oops, um, sorry.
00:15:59Oh, hey, Lisa.
00:16:00No, no, no problem.
00:16:01Come, come in.
00:16:02Are you sure?
00:16:04Yeah, yeah.
00:16:05Is everything okay?
00:16:07Yeah, I just, I have to...
00:16:10Oh, okay.
00:16:11Yeah.
00:16:26What'd I miss?
00:16:29Just a perfectly normal pee.
00:16:34How's the swimming?
00:16:37Yeah, exactly how it looks.
00:16:41Want to try?
00:16:44Uh, sure.
00:16:47That wouldn't be weird.
00:16:51No, shower rules.
00:17:15This is nice.
00:17:18Warm.
00:17:23You come here often?
00:17:26Not enough.
00:17:28Me either.
00:17:30Wash, wash, wash.
00:17:32I know what you're doing at work.
00:17:34Oh, God, you do not need this bullshit.
00:17:36Heather, you fucking flirt in front of me all the time.
00:17:39I know what you do when you're by yourself and you go without me.
00:17:41Hey, look at something on your face.
00:17:48You're going to ruin the cupcakes.
00:17:50No.
00:17:58What are you guys doing?
00:18:02Nothing.
00:18:02Clean yourselves up for God's sake.
00:18:04Get ready for dinner.
00:18:05And do not expect dessert.
00:18:06Yes, ma'am.
00:18:07Don't call me ma'am.
00:18:08Yes, mommy.
00:18:11Oh, crazy.
00:18:12Let's do that.
00:18:13Let's do that.
00:18:14Call me crazy.
00:18:14Hey.
00:18:15Don't call me crazy.
00:18:17You're sweet.
00:18:17Great, you're insane.
00:18:18Stop.
00:18:21They're everywhere.
00:18:49Oh my god, you are startling.
00:18:52Uh, good morning.
00:18:55Sorry.
00:18:56Here, eat.
00:18:56You hungry?
00:18:57Yeah.
00:19:03So you look nice.
00:19:04What are you up to today?
00:19:06Just going to Tony's friend's house.
00:19:08Fun.
00:19:15Sometimes I eat to fill a void.
00:19:19You ever do that?
00:19:20Maybe.
00:19:22I like it.
00:19:23The way it feels when my tummy gets hard.
00:19:27Hmm.
00:19:29Yeah?
00:19:29Yeah.
00:19:31It's filling.
00:19:34Oh.
00:19:35I know what you mean.
00:19:38Your dad really likes you here.
00:19:41And Tony, I know, loves it.
00:19:42Yeah, well I miss them too.
00:19:47You should move in with us your junior year.
00:19:51Oh, um, I would but that would mean my mom would be alone and I should just visit more.
00:20:01I know she doesn't make it easy.
00:20:05She's just going through a lot of stuff.
00:20:07Yeah.
00:20:08Well.
00:20:09But you're great.
00:20:11I mean, I know I just met you but, uh, Frank seems really happy.
00:20:14I love making him happy.
00:20:16That's great.
00:20:19My mom would hate if she saw what I've been eating.
00:20:22Well eat up, honey.
00:20:23Men love something to grab onto.
00:20:26These cinnamon rolls are really good.
00:20:28Did you put something else in it?
00:20:30Sugar.
00:20:31A lot of it.
00:20:41A lot of it.
00:20:47Let's see.
00:20:49Two more.
00:20:59Let's see.
00:21:00Let's see.
00:21:07Yeah, we're back with another one.
00:21:13The drummer gonna change now.
00:21:18Woo, say that guitar.
00:21:21How about some organ?
00:21:25Oh, now that's real.
00:21:28That's real.
00:21:37Hey, Tony.
00:21:39Hi.
00:21:40Hey, will you come to the kitchen with me?
00:21:43Why?
00:21:44I have a question about the look of the chicken.
00:21:47Well, ask Chad.
00:21:49He's the one who goes to culinary school.
00:21:56He's busy.
00:21:57Let's go.
00:21:57Come on.
00:21:58Come on, follow me.
00:21:59Follow me.
00:22:12Pretend you're looking at the chicken.
00:22:14Why?
00:22:16What the hell, man?
00:22:18What's the deal with you and that hottie glazed in a sweet layer of polyester and insecurity?
00:22:24Oh, come on.
00:22:26Well, are you gonna?
00:22:28No, that's my sister.
00:22:33What?
00:22:35That's Lisa?
00:22:37Yeah.
00:22:39Oh, man.
00:22:40And she's your half-sister, right?
00:22:43No, she's my full sister.
00:22:45Oh, I didn't know.
00:22:52What are you doing?
00:22:54I went down on my cousin once at Thanksgiving.
00:22:57Not like under the table, but it was in my Mimi's room.
00:23:00And it's hard to tell the difference between the common me and the others, you know?
00:23:06No.
00:23:13Hey, Ched.
00:23:15Ched.
00:23:16Ched.
00:23:17Ched.
00:23:18Ched.
00:23:18Ched.
00:23:19Ched.
00:23:19Ched.
00:23:19Ched.
00:23:19What's your deal, fuckbrain?
00:23:21Hey, hey.
00:23:22Don't.
00:23:22Ladies, don't fight.
00:23:24But do.
00:23:25But don't.
00:23:26But if you do, use a banana.
00:23:29Get me a plantain.
00:23:30I want it to hurt.
00:23:35So what do you think of the chicken?
00:23:39I don't think it's chicken.
00:23:42That's what I was afraid of.
00:23:53Didn't know you smoked?
00:23:55Oh, I don't.
00:23:57Oh.
00:23:57Yeah, just pretend.
00:23:59Look.
00:24:04Kind of just makes me feel cool.
00:24:08Can I try?
00:24:09Yeah.
00:24:18Jeez, slow down, vacuum mouth.
00:24:20It's not a doobie.
00:24:22I don't know if I like that.
00:24:26Yeah, me neither.
00:24:35What you doing, little squirrel?
00:24:37Okay.
00:24:38I bet we could both fit into this jacket.
00:24:43Okay.
00:25:02This is how I want to spend the rest of my days.
00:25:05Driving down the street, listening to the radio in my cool car, and looking at pretty girls.
00:25:11You're a fucking loser.
00:25:16Daddy's home, you stupid butts.
00:25:22Hey!
00:25:24Oh, I'm sorry.
00:25:29Couple of losers in a sausage pack.
00:25:34Dude.
00:25:36Ladies, this is scrub, and get with the man, the king, the father, Mercedes.
00:25:42Why are you guys even here?
00:25:45Better question, why are you guys even alive?
00:25:47Oh, I forgot to say hi to my buddy, Brian.
00:25:50No, shit!
00:26:00Did you put something on me?
00:26:03Lisa!
00:26:04Don't pee!
00:26:06I don't, I win!
00:26:08You cheat!
00:26:13You like it?
00:26:15You like that, Brian?
00:26:16Huh?
00:26:17Tap out, bitch, tap out!
00:26:21Yeah, you like that, bitch?
00:26:22No, I just don't, stop it, man!
00:26:25Oh, what's up, losers?
00:26:26You can't just come in here!
00:26:28We can do whatever we want, fatty.
00:26:32If I'm fucking your sister, I can come into the house, and I can come into the house.
00:26:36Yeah!
00:26:36Give it up!
00:26:39Boing, boing!
00:26:40Hey, girl, you like hot dogs?
00:26:41Dude, that's my sister.
00:26:43I like extra mayo and chili on mine.
00:26:47Gross.
00:26:49Sorry we didn't introduce ourselves.
00:26:51My name's Bleach, and this is Mercedes.
00:26:53Kiss, kiss.
00:26:54Whatever.
00:26:54His name's Jason and Mark.
00:26:56Two of the most generic ass fucking names on the planet.
00:27:01What the fuck did you just say to me?
00:27:05Oh my god!
00:27:06I got it!
00:27:06I got it!
00:27:07I got it!
00:27:07I got it!
00:27:08I got it!
00:27:08I got it!
00:27:08I got it!
00:27:09I got it!
00:27:09I got it!
00:27:09I got it!
00:27:10I got it!
00:27:10I got it!
00:27:12I got it!
00:27:16I got it!
00:27:18Hey, babe.
00:27:26What the fuck is going on in here?
00:27:28These two tall-ass mighty ducks came in and ruined our hang.
00:27:32Where's my snack?
00:27:37Be cool, Brian.
00:27:38It's not like Mom's even going to be home for like two days or whatever, so why don't
00:27:41you just shut the fuck up for once?
00:27:43Whatever.
00:27:43We can go hang in my room.
00:27:44Wait.
00:27:46Who is this little girl?
00:27:48Uh, this is my sister or she-
00:27:49Whoa!
00:27:50Was she fucking asking you, bro?
00:27:51No.
00:27:52Go ahead, babe.
00:27:54Let me guess.
00:27:55You're his sister and you're visiting for the weekend and you're feeling really displaced
00:28:00because you don't know anybody here.
00:28:02Which is making you really uncomfortable and now you're starting to miss Mommy.
00:28:08kind of.
00:28:15Mmm, that sucks.
00:28:20Hey, you want to leave?
00:28:22Yeah.
00:28:23Uh, hey guys.
00:28:25I'm going to bounce.
00:28:26Damn it, Sydney!
00:28:27You ruined fucking everything!
00:28:29Kate Spade slut!
00:28:31Excuse me?
00:28:33Nothing, nothing, nothing!
00:28:34Nothing, nothing!
00:28:35Nothing, nothing!
00:28:35God!
00:29:09I miss this place.
00:29:13Miss the crew?
00:29:16No.
00:29:20You ever notice how playgrounds smell like blood?
00:29:25Yeah.
00:29:26Kind of do.
00:29:28Are you grossed out by blood?
00:29:31Yeah, I guess so.
00:29:33I think it'd be weird if I said I loved blood.
00:29:35Yeah.
00:29:37Yeah.
00:29:38You think you'd ever be grossed out by my blood?
00:29:45No.
00:29:48Your blood's my blood.
00:30:04So how was your day?
00:30:06Good.
00:30:06Just hung out with some friends.
00:30:08Which friends?
00:30:09Just Brian and Ched.
00:30:11Oh.
00:30:12And his weird lizard girls.
00:30:14I love lizards.
00:30:15Of course you do, baby.
00:30:19So, Lisa.
00:30:20What'd you think of Brian and Ched?
00:30:23They're fine.
00:30:25You can say it.
00:30:27Say what?
00:30:28They're fucking losers.
00:30:30Frank.
00:30:31I'm just kidding.
00:30:34I'm just kidding.
00:30:35You're a fucking loser, Dad.
00:30:37Excuse me?
00:30:39I'm just kidding.
00:30:44Lisa, do you miss home?
00:30:46No.
00:30:47Not really.
00:30:49Good.
00:30:52Good.
00:30:54That's why I think it'd be fun if you just moved in with us your junior year.
00:30:58Yeah.
00:31:00I mean, it'd be cool.
00:31:02You know?
00:31:03Living with mom sucks.
00:31:04And living with us would be...
00:31:06I mean, Doris cooks great food.
00:31:09And you're cool.
00:31:14Yeah.
00:31:15Uh...
00:31:15Maybe.
00:31:16I think it's an interesting idea.
00:31:18I mean, as long as you're able to handle my jokes and share your tampons with your brother
00:31:24here every once in a while.
00:31:26Frank.
00:31:32I don't even use tampons.
00:31:36Oh.
00:31:37Honey.
00:31:38I just free bleed.
00:31:40Ew.
00:31:43I'm...
00:31:44I'm just kidding.
00:31:47Not very funny.
00:31:49Hmm.
00:31:58So this is creative mode.
00:32:00So you just go around, build houses, tend to your chickens, cows...
00:32:07Here, check this out.
00:32:08You see all these dogs?
00:32:09Yeah.
00:32:10You can hit them.
00:32:12Yeah.
00:32:12What?
00:32:13Did you see why I have so many?
00:32:15Yeah.
00:32:16Yeah.
00:32:18Jesus.
00:32:19Where'd they go?
00:32:20I...
00:32:20I killed them.
00:32:21Oh.
00:32:22No, no.
00:32:23It's not real.
00:32:24Look.
00:32:25What are you doing?
00:32:27I thought that would make it better.
00:32:29Geez.
00:32:30I'm sorry.
00:32:31I'm sorry.
00:32:32I didn't...
00:32:32I didn't know you'd feel so passionate about it.
00:32:35It's fine.
00:32:41Look, they're all back.
00:32:44Better?
00:32:45Yeah.
00:32:48I have too many fucking dogs.
00:32:50Good.
00:32:58I need to go to bed.
00:32:59Right now.
00:33:04Okay.
00:33:05Okay.
00:33:06Well, uh...
00:33:09Good night.
00:33:16Ugh.
00:33:23Oh, God.
00:33:26Ugh!
00:33:35Oh, really?
00:33:36Fuck you!
00:33:37Oh, where does no drama queen?
00:33:39Fuck you!
00:33:40Drama queen?
00:33:41Yes!
00:33:42Never kissed me!
00:33:43You've never kissed me!
00:33:43Fuck you.
00:33:44Oh, yeah, whatever.
00:33:45Fuck you.
00:33:46Fuck you.
00:33:47Fuck you.
00:33:48Or we could like you.
00:33:49Well, we could like you because maybe you were no more fucking likeable.
00:33:53Yeah, figure out how to be a white person.
00:33:54Then maybe figure out how to be a mother.
00:33:56I win, I win, I win, I win, I win.
00:33:58Yay.
00:34:00Tony.
00:34:01Surprise.
00:34:03I'm only a mess who's here.
00:34:05No, I'm not the reason you're a mess.
00:34:07You're the reason that you are a fucking mess.
00:34:10This life is a mess.
00:34:11I'm sick of this.
00:34:12Whatever, man.
00:34:13Well, I'm sick of this so much more than you are.
00:34:16You cannot be half as sick of it as I am.
00:34:18Whatever, I'm done with this and go through.
00:34:22What do you think you're doing?
00:34:26Uh, I...
00:34:27You're not thinking.
00:34:28That's what you're doing.
00:34:29Rachel, leave him alone.
00:34:31You're just like him.
00:34:36Don't take it out on the boy.
00:34:37Hey, Tony.
00:34:39Rice, she's a treat.
00:34:40Whoever wants gets out of my can.
00:34:41Oh, it's on!
00:34:42I don't want anything anymore.
00:34:44I barely was able to get out of bed.
00:34:46Did you know that?
00:34:47Well, anyone was sick.
00:34:52I don't know why.
00:34:54I don't care.
00:34:57I don't care.
00:34:57I don't care.
00:34:58I don't care.
00:34:58I don't care.
00:34:58I don't care.
00:35:00I don't care.
00:35:03I don't care.
00:35:05I don't care.
00:35:07I don't care.
00:35:23Hey, kiddo.
00:35:26Oh, uh, hey, Frank.
00:35:28How's the sitting?
00:35:30It hurts.
00:35:31My butt is not made for sitting.
00:35:33It's made for standing and looking pretty.
00:35:36Yeah.
00:35:38Welcome to my paradise.
00:35:46This is nice.
00:35:48It's like you have your own little getaway.
00:35:52Well, to be honest, it's not really going to be a sitting room.
00:35:57I'm going to turn it into a secret cooking room for Doris.
00:36:03Shouldn't that be in the kitchen?
00:36:05No, no.
00:36:06I'm going to redo the whole room, put a kitchen in it.
00:36:09Put a bunch of cutting board space over there.
00:36:11I'll have a vent that goes up to the ceiling.
00:36:14She can have her gals over whenever she wants.
00:36:17They can take up as much space as they want.
00:36:20Hmm.
00:36:21So it'll be like a little getaway kitchen.
00:36:24Exactly.
00:36:26You must really love her.
00:36:29All her words aren't my favorite words, but yeah, I really do love her.
00:36:37Sleep well?
00:36:40Yeah.
00:36:41You?
00:36:42Oh, hell yeah.
00:36:49Isn't it nice?
00:36:52Yeah.
00:36:57I'm happy you're here, kiddo.
00:37:02Me too, Frank.
00:37:04Me too.
00:37:16Tony.
00:37:19Tony.
00:37:20Tony.
00:37:21Tony.
00:37:22Tony.
00:37:23Tony!
00:37:26What?
00:37:28Hi.
00:37:29Hey.
00:37:31Hey.
00:37:33You going to come to breakfast?
00:37:35Yeah.
00:37:38Okay.
00:37:43Love you.
00:37:45Yeah, I know.
00:38:02You know, your friends are always welcome over here.
00:38:04Yeah, we know.
00:38:07I just love a good excuse to make more casserole.
00:38:11Yeah, it's just Brian has a...
00:38:13It's a party, Doris.
00:38:14Oh, a party.
00:38:16Lisa, you want to borrow a dress later?
00:38:19They're all tight.
00:38:20The boys love tight.
00:38:22Isn't that right, son?
00:38:23Yeah, we, like, tight.
00:38:26I'll wear this.
00:38:29Oof.
00:38:30You okay, honey?
00:38:31Yeah, just slippery hands.
00:38:34Well, don't dry those hands off.
00:38:35What?
00:38:36Oh, come on.
00:38:38You shut up now, you dirty man.
00:38:41Doris, do you want any help?
00:38:42I got it.
00:38:43Thanks, sweetie.
00:38:46Now look at that, kids.
00:38:48A pretty woman looking sexy every day.
00:38:52My sweet, precious fruit of my loins.
00:38:56This is it.
00:38:57This is the life.
00:39:00To find someone who makes you like this peach.
00:39:05To find someone who's soft and ready to burst.
00:39:09And when they burst, you don't mind getting a little messy.
00:39:16Frank, I hear you.
00:39:17What?
00:39:18I'm teaching my kids something.
00:39:20Life lessons.
00:39:21Sharing something special.
00:39:23Don't listen to him.
00:39:24He's just a dirty old horn dog.
00:39:28Frank, you can't just talk to them like that.
00:39:30What?
00:39:31They get it.
00:39:32I do agree.
00:39:34A love like this is special.
00:39:36Everyone deserves it.
00:39:38It can be hard, but...
00:39:40You know what helps?
00:39:41It's tight dresses.
00:39:43Are you sure you don't want to borrow something, sweetie?
00:39:46Um, I feel comfortable in this.
00:39:50She doesn't need tight dresses to look pretty.
00:39:53She's already perfectly wrapped in her own skin.
00:40:01That is a scary pick-up, Lord, son.
00:40:05You want to go?
00:40:06Yeah.
00:40:11Doris, what are you putting in these potatoes?
00:40:13These are unreal.
00:40:30Hey, sis.
00:40:32You ready?
00:40:33Yeah, in just a second.
00:40:35You look fine.
00:40:36You look very pretty.
00:40:39I don't really feel pretty today.
00:40:44Hang on.
00:40:45I don't know.
00:41:03Here.
00:41:07Good?
00:41:09Yes.
00:41:09Okay.
00:41:10I have more.
00:41:11Yeah?
00:41:12Yeah, but, uh, you have to keep wearing this if you want more.
00:41:20Okay.
00:41:21Fine.
00:41:22Cool.
00:41:23I'll be downstairs.
00:41:25Okay?
00:41:26Same you, same candy.
00:41:27Yeah?
00:41:29Okay.
00:41:30Okay.
00:41:31Cool.
00:41:31Well, I think it's fine.
00:41:45I don't know.
00:41:46Okay.
00:41:59Frank?
00:42:02Oh. Hey, Tony.
00:42:05What's up?
00:42:07Just sitting.
00:42:10Isn't that what the sitting room's for?
00:42:13Hurts my butt to sit on the ground all the time.
00:42:36I don't think I've ever talked with you about man stuff.
00:42:41No need. I got it.
00:42:46Well, my best advice to you is to always tell the person you love that you do.
00:42:54That's good advice.
00:42:56Yeah, men aren't always hard.
00:42:59I've never had a problem in that way, and your blood is my blood, so...
00:43:02Yeah, got it.
00:43:08Do you mind doing me a favor, son?
00:43:10Sure.
00:43:12Today is a special day for Doris.
00:43:15Oh, is it a birthday?
00:43:17Oh, I have no idea when that is.
00:43:19I bought her a bunch of new cooking books,
00:43:22and she's gonna go crazy when she sees how many I got her.
00:43:26That's really nice.
00:43:28Do you think you could set up the bathroom with some candles?
00:43:32I'd do it myself, but...
00:43:34Yeah, sure.
00:43:35Great.
00:43:38What's that?
00:43:39Oh.
00:43:40I miss the annual Peachin Music Festival this year.
00:43:46It's just really frustrating.
00:44:15What are you doing?
00:44:17Oh, uh, date night for dad.
00:44:21Cute.
00:44:44You are no match for us and Princess Fairy Sparkle.
00:44:48You're not going to go.
00:44:51No, no, no.
00:44:54Attack pony.
00:44:55We need to clear reinforcements.
00:44:56No, Rachel, this is not fair.
00:44:56You cannot shoot this.
00:44:58You have no idea what you're doing.
00:45:00Rachel, come on.
00:45:01Get back.
00:45:03This is ridiculous.
00:45:05He's still not down.
00:45:09Come on, Lisa, let's go.
00:45:10Right now.
00:45:10Let's go.
00:45:11Come on.
00:45:12Tony!
00:45:14Come on.
00:45:16Tony!
00:45:30We need to go.
00:45:32Woo!
00:45:32Woo!
00:46:34Good job.
00:46:42What's up, man?
00:46:44Chad failed his culinary training program.
00:46:46Aw, dude.
00:46:48And his two goth girls dumped him.
00:46:51Oh, no.
00:46:52I want to get fucked up tonight.
00:46:55Hey, shut the fuck up, Brian. Fuck you.
00:46:57What did I say? What the fuck did I say?
00:46:58Hey, did you guys get invited to that party tonight?
00:47:01You got invited to a party?
00:47:02Yeah, from some chick named Magnificent Pleasure.
00:47:07What?
00:47:09See?
00:47:09See?
00:47:12Fuck.
00:47:13Yeah, I pinned that down real nice.
00:47:17She looks nice.
00:47:18Oh, of course she does.
00:47:19She wants a penis inside of her.
00:47:22Do you want to go?
00:47:23No, I don't want to go if that bitch is going.
00:47:25What the fuck is going on in here?
00:47:27What are you guys looking at?
00:47:28No, nothing.
00:47:29Uh, just saw that party invite.
00:47:32Hmm.
00:47:32So are you guys coming?
00:47:34Sure.
00:47:35I felt bad about the other night.
00:47:37I just wanted you guys to see how cool I am.
00:47:40Whatever.
00:47:41You just want me to drive.
00:47:42Yeah, pretty much.
00:47:44Hmm, because I'm going to get fucked up tonight.
00:47:46Ugh.
00:47:47What if he said he wouldn't drive you?
00:47:49Oh, well, then I would just tell everyone that little Brian over there...
00:47:52Shut up!
00:47:53Lisa?
00:47:53It's nothing.
00:47:54Oh, you know what?
00:47:55I was about to mention.
00:47:57Charlie's going to be there.
00:47:59Ooh, Charlie's going to be there.
00:48:00Yeah, man.
00:48:01Wouldn't want to miss out on that good old D-sucking.
00:48:04Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:48:05Okay, fine.
00:48:06We'll go and I'll drive.
00:48:08But I don't like one bit of it.
00:48:09Except Charlie.
00:48:12Hey, hey, hey, hey.
00:48:13I will burn it.
00:48:13I will burn this.
00:48:14What are you wearing?
00:48:15Hey, hey, hey.
00:48:15No.
00:48:16Come on, man.
00:48:17You know he's sensitive about that.
00:48:18Quit it.
00:48:18Come on.
00:48:19You are not wearing that.
00:48:21What should I wear?
00:48:23I think she looks great.
00:48:24Are you a girl?
00:48:25No.
00:48:26Sorry.
00:48:27Come with me right now.
00:48:28Just gave it back to her.
00:48:30Okay, hey.
00:48:31That's enough.
00:48:32That's not enough.
00:48:33That is enough.
00:48:37Here you go.
00:48:41Pick one.
00:48:43It's fine.
00:48:44I mean, I feel comfortable in this.
00:48:46Do it.
00:48:47Okay.
00:48:52Okay.
00:48:53Great.
00:48:54Okay.
00:48:55Well, I'll be right back.
00:48:56No.
00:48:57Just change in here.
00:48:59What?
00:49:00Do you have, like, chest hair or something?
00:49:04No.
00:49:08Okay.
00:49:09Okay.
00:49:09Um.
00:49:34That'll be fine.
00:49:37Thanks.
00:49:38Thanks.
00:49:41Well, I have to get changed, so.
00:49:46Okay.
00:49:50Oh.
00:49:51Okay.
00:49:52Yeah.
00:49:55Yeah.
00:49:59I'll see you right there.
00:50:01Yeah.
00:50:01See?
00:50:02Yeah, I could cook something with that.
00:50:04Hey, guys.
00:50:06Huh.
00:50:07My sister lets you wear the dress she miscarried in.
00:50:11What?
00:50:14I think it looks nice.
00:50:17Thanks.
00:50:18Okay, bitches.
00:50:19Come on.
00:50:20Let's go.
00:50:20It's so early.
00:50:22I said I want to go.
00:50:23I'm not even ready yet.
00:50:25Guess you are.
00:50:26You look like shit.
00:50:27Isn't that your thing?
00:50:28Ugh.
00:50:29All right.
00:50:29Let's get this over with.
00:50:32Okay.
00:50:49How long do I have to stay?
00:50:51As long as I want.
00:50:52Really?
00:50:53Hey, come on.
00:50:54That girl's gonna be there.
00:50:57Okay.
00:50:58Hold on.
00:50:58Okay.
00:51:00Yeah.
00:51:00Cheers.
00:51:14I can't wait to break your heart.
00:51:20Give me something good and you know I will tear it all apart.
00:51:26I will tear it all apart.
00:51:30Oof.
00:51:33So this is the...
00:51:35Okay.
00:51:37My dad ate a bug once.
00:51:39Why?
00:51:40I don't know.
00:51:40It's like a lava, I guess.
00:51:42How do you eat that?
00:51:43Because it's a mock-up.
00:51:44Oh.
00:51:44They eat a mock-up.
00:51:46God hates parties!
00:51:47God hates parties!
00:51:48God hates parties!
00:51:49God hates parties!
00:51:51God hates parties!
00:51:51God hates parties!
00:51:52God hates parties!
00:51:54God hates parties!
00:51:54God hates parties!
00:51:56No knock!
00:51:57It's a fucking party!
00:51:59No knock!
00:52:00Oh my god!
00:52:26You guys eating white bananas?
00:52:30Yeah.
00:52:31Nice.
00:52:32Nice.
00:52:47Yeah.
00:53:05Charlie, Charlie.
00:53:07Hey, Brian.
00:53:09It's good to see you.
00:53:13And you look good tonight.
00:53:15I know.
00:53:17You know.
00:53:17Well, if it is a little baby, Brian.
00:53:22Hey, little baby.
00:53:23Oh, hey.
00:53:23Stop.
00:53:24Stop.
00:53:25Please.
00:53:25Stop.
00:53:26Just stop.
00:53:28Hey, I'm Tony.
00:53:30Hey.
00:53:31What's up?
00:53:32This is my sister, Lisa.
00:53:34Hey.
00:53:35Lisa, where are you from?
00:53:37Florida.
00:53:38What are you doing here?
00:53:39Visiting my brother and dad for the weekend.
00:53:42Ah, so this is like your full blood sister.
00:53:46Yeah.
00:53:47Did you guys like piggyback out of the womb or what?
00:53:52No, I'm actually a year old.
00:53:55Oh, dirty mommy.
00:53:57Oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:54:00Hey, hey, boys.
00:54:02Here's a fun fact.
00:54:04Brian shit his pants last time he was at this house.
00:54:10You really are a little chocolate boy.
00:54:12Fuck you.
00:54:13I just got here.
00:54:14What the fuck are you going to do about it?
00:54:16Hey, now, now, now.
00:54:17Who knows?
00:54:17He might have had some laxative with his beer.
00:54:19Or maybe he just got scared because there was too many pretty ladies running around.
00:54:25Fuck you fucking suck!
00:54:27God damn it!
00:54:28I want to come with you.
00:54:29Let him be.
00:54:35Hey.
00:54:36Yeah?
00:54:38I'm hungry.
00:54:40Oh, all right, and that's it for me, boys.
00:54:42Touchdown for Bleach.
00:54:51Lisa.
00:54:53Hey.
00:54:54You look stressed.
00:54:56Yeah, loosen up.
00:54:58Lisa.
00:55:00Do you smoke weed?
00:55:02Do you get high?
00:55:04Do you lift this curtain that we call life to see what's on the other side?
00:55:13Uh, yeah, sometimes.
00:55:16But I don't ever really feel it.
00:55:18You gotta inhale it.
00:55:20Like, really inhale it.
00:55:32You feel it?
00:55:33No, I only felt your tongue.
00:55:47Brian?
00:55:49You really should have taken your clothes off first.
00:55:52I just don't know where my life is going, okay?
00:55:54I'm a fucking loser.
00:55:56Nobody respects me.
00:55:58You don't like me.
00:55:59You're my best friend.
00:56:01And let's be honest, you kind of suck.
00:56:03My other best friend's trying to fuck two bananas out there.
00:56:06So I am sorry if I'm having a moment of despair.
00:56:13Come on, man.
00:56:15I don't suck.
00:56:17Really?
00:56:18You're cool.
00:56:21You're funny.
00:56:23Oh yeah, funny, yeah.
00:56:25I remember last year when you thought it was cool and funny how I shit my pants.
00:56:30Yeah.
00:56:30It was artistic.
00:56:32You were brave.
00:56:34You were so brave.
00:56:35Yeah, you hear that?
00:56:36You're an art guy now, huh?
00:56:38Big man on campus.
00:56:39Come on, let's get out of that tub.
00:56:42Just leave me here with the water.
00:56:45Come on, man.
00:56:47Yeah, come on, Brian.
00:56:48Stop it.
00:56:49Jesus.
00:56:50Hey, Toni?
00:56:55No.
00:57:00Okay.
00:57:02Okay.
00:57:03Okay.
00:57:04Okay.
00:57:04Okay.
00:57:07Okay.
00:57:07Okay.
00:57:08Uh, that's enough for you.
00:57:10This feeling does not feel good.
00:57:13It passes.
00:57:16Hey, you okay?
00:57:18No.
00:57:19Uh, where's Tony?
00:57:21Relax, he's inside with Charlie.
00:57:24I'm already fucking by now.
00:57:26Oh yeah, yeah.
00:57:28I doubt it.
00:57:29Uh oh, can he not get hard?
00:57:32No, he can.
00:57:34How do you know that?
00:57:36I don't know.
00:57:38Yeah, how do you know that?
00:57:40Uh, just...
00:57:43Stop whatever you're doing.
00:57:46What?
00:57:46My brother can get hard.
00:57:48Okay?
00:57:49I've seen it.
00:57:50It's proportional.
00:57:52It's a good penis.
00:57:54Stop freaking me out.
00:57:56Uh, you're the one talking about your brother's dick and how hard it is.
00:58:01I'm kidding.
00:58:03Seriously.
00:58:05Weird joke.
00:58:06That wasn't very funny.
00:58:10No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:58:19Tony!
00:58:21Tony!
00:58:26Tony!
00:58:31I'm a weirdo.
00:58:36What the hell am I doing here?
00:58:39I'm a weirdo.
00:58:43Tony!
00:58:44Ted!
00:58:44Have you seen Tony?
00:58:46He's ours.
00:58:47I could be everybody's.
00:59:10Oh my god.
00:59:30I love hot dogs. I need to eat yours right up and swallow so hard it goes down to the
00:59:36pit of my tummy.
00:59:41Sydney! Sydney! Have you seen Sydney?
00:59:44No.
00:59:45Fuck you.
00:59:46Hey you're flying down you fucking asshole!
00:59:50I love you.
00:59:57Ha ha ha ha ha!
01:00:12Tom!
01:00:14Lisa!
01:00:19have you ever had sex
01:00:26you like movies
01:00:28yeah
01:00:32come back
01:00:34I gotta go
01:00:39Lisa can we go now
01:00:41nice to meet you
01:00:42can I come with you
01:00:46I'm Violet
01:00:49I'm a cage
01:00:50sometimes I feel like I'm trapped in a cage
01:00:52yeah
01:01:03Tony I think I'm high
01:01:05and I told those guys that your dick is nice and it gets hard
01:01:08what why did that come up
01:01:10I got caught off guard
01:01:12you told them about my dick
01:01:13yeah
01:01:14jeez Lisa we gotta keep things between us okay
01:01:17rule number one
01:01:18I thought rule number one was to be honest
01:01:20yeah that too
01:01:21and to be honest I didn't know we had rules
01:01:23look whatever I have a nice penis
01:01:25so what if you told them
01:01:26but honestly I gotta get going Lisa
01:01:29because right now there's honestly
01:01:31oh there she is
01:01:32okay you're hot
01:01:33you're great
01:01:34you have stuff going on down there
01:01:35that's great
01:01:36what do you mean
01:01:37I touched it
01:01:38Tony
01:01:38she did not touch it
01:01:40okay
01:01:41okay so she touched it
01:01:42but I did not want that
01:01:43I did not want any of that
01:01:44are you jealous because I'm pretty
01:01:46hey
01:01:47whatever the fuck your name is
01:01:48that's my sister you're talking to
01:01:50you're a nightmare
01:01:51and Brian deserves better than some cum guzzling bitch
01:01:54whoa
01:01:55whoa
01:01:56whoa
01:01:59let's go
01:02:11oh shit look who it is
01:02:13it's the change guy
01:02:15guys how's it going
01:02:16you guys look great
01:02:18it's like seeing the you know
01:02:20the teacher in the real world
01:02:21except you want to fuck her
01:02:23don't you always want to fuck her
01:02:25anyway
01:02:26how's things going
01:02:27what's what you doing tonight
01:02:28we're good
01:02:29yeah we were going to go
01:02:30oh we love the parties
01:02:32wait what
01:02:33stick around
01:02:34wait
01:02:35fight
01:02:36she fucking saw man
01:02:37chill man
01:02:39no I'm not going to fucking chill
01:02:40chill man
01:02:40I'm not going to fucking chill
01:02:41dude she saw us
01:02:42it doesn't matter
01:02:43it does matter
01:02:46hey hey Lisa
01:02:48can I talk to you for a second
01:02:49we're leaving
01:02:50no
01:02:50I'm not talking to you
01:02:52you fucking idiot
01:02:53man we'll get out of here
01:02:55dude get off me alright
01:02:56I need to talk to Lisa
01:02:57hey
01:02:58alright
01:02:58don't touch her
01:02:59what the fuck are you going to do about it
01:03:01hey I'm not done talking
01:03:06why do you like my dick so much huh
01:03:13you like that
01:03:13you like that
01:03:14nah man you like that
01:03:16what the fuck did you say to me
01:03:17you know what I said
01:03:25you'll think of me
01:03:29they always think of me
01:03:34come on
01:03:35come on
01:03:36Chad
01:03:37Chad
01:03:39come on
01:03:40Dude, no, no, no, dude, I'm trying to...
01:03:41Jack, do it!
01:03:43Johnny, come on, let's go!
01:03:47Are you a guy who likes me to call it a dick, a cock, or a penis?
01:03:51I like dick.
01:03:52Me too!
01:03:57Where's the other one?
01:03:58Where's the other one?
01:04:04Don't leave me here!
01:04:06Run, run, run!
01:04:08No, break, break!
01:04:09Don't fall me!
01:04:28Oh, my God.
01:04:43God, it smells like shit in here.
01:04:44Hey, shut up.
01:04:46Sorry.
01:04:50For a night?
01:05:15Oh, my God.
01:05:41Oh, my God.
01:05:42Oh, my God.
01:05:45Oh, my God.
01:05:47Oh, my God.
01:05:51Oh, my God.
01:05:53Oh, my God.
01:06:33Oh, my God.
01:06:49Oh, my God.
01:06:51Oh, my God.
01:07:22Oh, my God.
01:07:32Oh, my God.
01:08:01Oh, my God.
01:08:10Oh, my God.
01:08:28Oh, my God.
01:08:49Oh, my God.
01:09:03Oh, my God.
01:09:28Oh, my God.
01:10:17Oh, my God.
01:10:24Oh, my God.
01:10:48Oh, my God.
01:11:03Oh, my God.
01:11:40Oh, my God.
01:11:42Oh, my God.
01:11:55Oh, my God.
01:11:58Oh, my God.
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