- 3 weeks ago
Celebs Go Dating Season 15 Episode 17
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Tonight!
00:01I'm a sucker for a hand kiss. Wow!
00:04PK gets a stiff talking to.
00:07You were in there with that schlong, throwing it around left, right and centre.
00:11Killeen has a wobble.
00:12We get on really well, but there's just something not there.
00:16And the professor faces some hard truths.
00:19I think that attraction is not there yet.
00:21As our celebs.
00:22What are you looking for?
00:24I'm looking for you.
00:26Yo!
00:26Do I look like someone that's not chosen?
00:28You just watched shenanigans.
00:29Dating!
00:30I don't know if I'm over for my arse.
00:41Welcome to Celebs Go Dating, a hospital for high profile heartache.
00:45And while most of Cupid's warriors have already clocked in,
00:48last to arrive is Anna, who for some reason has come dressed as that phone box behind her.
00:53I wish that I could turn very tight.
00:56Oh, hello love.
00:58Oh love!
00:58I love that colour on you.
01:00Very bright.
01:00You know what they say, red on the thigh catches the expert's eye.
01:03Who's that?
01:05That's it.
01:06Oh!
01:07You saw that reflex.
01:09You saw that reflex.
01:09That was very good.
01:11You know, he used to play American football.
01:13I was a running back.
01:14Oh!
01:15Where?
01:15No wonder you're so swollen of deltoid.
01:18You sure that's the only thing swollen, Tom?
01:20He's so turned on right now!
01:24He or we, Tara?
01:26This dynamic energy and zest is very good today because we've got Trio,
01:31we've got Colleen, we've got Lucinda, and we've got Piquet.
01:35Oh!
01:35This is quite a busy day.
01:37Busy day!
01:38Okay.
01:38So I'm going to love you and leave you.
01:40Lovely, lovely.
01:41We'll leave you with that thought of Mr B playing American football.
01:44Busy day ahead!
01:45Yes!
01:46Piquet.
01:48Piquet.
01:48I mean, what a naughty boy.
01:50The guy can't date.
01:51And when I told him that his dating sucked, he was not best pleased.
01:55And then Lucinda's coming in.
01:57Oh my gosh, Lucinda!
02:00Double rejection.
02:01Shocking.
02:01Can I just say, that was about as bad as it can go in a mixer.
02:05Yeah.
02:07Well, after a day to recover, this priestess of positivity is putting on a brave face
02:13as she powers back in with all the optimism of a human highlighter set loose on a to-do list.
02:20Hello, celebrity dating agency.
02:22Oh, I've missed you!
02:24Come in.
02:26Got to pull on with you.
02:28New sensation.
02:30New sensation.
02:32New sensation.
02:33And it's straight up to check in with the love gurus.
02:37What the frick went on with Lucinda at that stick, sir?
02:41Gosh, you know, at least you need some girl cheerleading today.
02:44We are gonna do that.
02:45We are professional cheerleaders.
02:46So professional you forgot it was dressing high-vis day.
02:51Hello.
02:52Come in.
02:52Come on in, beautiful.
02:54Hi, gorgeous ladies.
02:56So ready for you.
02:57We are.
02:58At the latest mixer, a.k.a. Stixer, Lucinda was tasked to pick between lip-locking Viking
03:03Daymo and Zen spiritualist Anurag.
03:06This is a lot of pressure.
03:07But after sensing hesitation from Daymo.
03:11I don't know what to choose.
03:13I'm gonna be random and just say another date with Anurag.
03:17Wow.
03:19You are an amazing person.
03:20We had an amazing time.
03:23I would respectfully decline.
03:26She then received a double helping of sour pie from the Viking.
03:30I also chose to not go on another date.
03:32Yucko.
03:34Girl powwow.
03:35Girl powwow.
03:36We really, really, really bloody felt for you that that sticks a-hun.
03:41The double rejection.
03:42I mean, what happened?
03:44Look, I mean, I'm a big girl, I can handle it.
03:46I don't know.
03:47But I did have a moment where I wanted to burst into tears, as you could see.
03:51Well, talk us through that.
03:53I could see when he came down that Daymo's energy had really shifted.
03:58He wasn't sort of taking my eye easily and there wasn't sort of much warmth or something.
04:05And when Anurag pitched with such passion, I thought, well, I'll choose you.
04:11Because, of course, every woman wants to be claimed.
04:13I really, truly wanted to be swallowed into a hole at this point.
04:18It was so awkward.
04:20And in a way, I felt actually quite relieved.
04:23Because, truly, they weren't a great alignment for me anyway.
04:27But I absolutely wish them both well.
04:30So, onwards and upwards.
04:31Love this.
04:32I will never give up on love.
04:34And I had an astrology reading last week.
04:38Tell us.
04:39And she's like, you're in the bracket.
04:41You're in the momentum the next six to eight months of meeting somebody special.
04:47And I'm just so grateful for this incredible blessing and experience.
04:51And exactly that.
04:52Hold on to all these experiences.
04:54Yeah.
04:54And even, you know, you know exactly, you know, there are teachings in everything we do.
04:59After the Styxa, I was really expecting Lucinda's confidence to be knocked.
05:03But actually, she is looking forward and she is ready.
05:05She has such a positive outlook on life.
05:08And I'm really, really impressed.
05:10Yeah.
05:10It is a numbers game.
05:11It is.
05:12And who cares if you do get rejected?
05:14No, you know, this is exposure therapy.
05:16Yeah.
05:16It's through and through.
05:18You are afraid of spiders.
05:19Yeah.
05:19Here are the spiders.
05:20Yeah.
05:20Like, you are, you know, afraid of getting rejected on one-on-one.
05:23Here's a group of people for you to reject and to be rejected.
05:27Like, it's exposure therapy.
05:28Well, in that case, I must have had more therapy than a boy band on a reunion tour.
05:35Arriving next downstairs for his first reunion with the agent since his Styxa scolding from Anna, it's Piquet.
05:42Let's hope he likes a taste of humble pie.
05:44Humble.
05:46Piquet.
05:47Come in, do.
05:49Strike me a pose.
05:51But you're kind of cute, you know.
05:53Wow.
05:54Keep on alone.
05:55Or you got loose enough.
05:59Hello, hello, hello.
06:00Oh, she's like Marine Bleu.
06:02Marine Bleu.
06:03Oui, c'est ça.
06:05C'est bien.
06:06C'est bien.
06:06C'est merveilleux.
06:08C'est merveilleux.
06:10Exactement.
06:10Am I watching this on Canal Plus?
06:12Oh, très bien.
06:15Très bien.
06:16A chanté.
06:17Oh, I didn't know that you spoke it.
06:20Yeah, I dabbled into the French.
06:23Polyglot known.
06:25Piquet.
06:26Poly what?
06:27My thoughts exactly.
06:28Polyglot known.
06:29Piquet.
06:31What does that mean?
06:31And just thinking what PK could be.
06:34Perfectly kissable.
06:36Privately knowable.
06:38Yes, privately knowable.
06:40Perpetually kind.
06:42Sorry to be boring Bobby, but as much as I'd like it to stand for professional nobber,
06:46it's just the initials of his former name, Percy Kianga Benny.
06:50Possibly kinky?
06:52Yeah, I'm a bit of a madman.
06:54And I feel like the agents are finding that out and they don't like it.
06:58Don't hate the play or hate the game.
07:00I would take it as a gold-plated compliment, PK.
07:05Because they must have seen something magical in you that makes them want to exhibit a bit of tough love.
07:11Yeah, I'd rather stay here than go up.
07:14I'll be honest with you.
07:15Well, you can't go up yet anyway because Lulu's about to find out who she's dating next.
07:19So would you like your favourite sisters to serve you up another hunkatron?
07:25Absolutely.
07:26Please see.
07:27My heart's beating.
07:28Oli!
07:29He looks divine.
07:31He's a property investor from Sussex.
07:34He's 49.
07:36Sussex, did you say?
07:37Sussex.
07:38Yeah.
07:38That's my favourite part, by the way.
07:39Well, it's a good job he's not from Cockermouth, then.
07:42As the Doctor might spontaneously combust.
07:44He is 49.
07:46Good age.
07:47He's 6'2".
07:48Great height.
07:49Yeah, and an Aries.
07:50Fantastic star sign.
07:52Oli, oli, oli, oli.
07:53Oli, oi, oi.
07:54Steady on Lucinda.
07:55It's an afternoon date, not an Addy Pally dance final.
07:58Oi, oi, oi.
07:58I mean, we are quietly confident on this.
08:01Yes.
08:02You know, I really live by the motto, always, that the best is yet to come.
08:05Mm-hm.
08:06Well, have the best day.
08:07I'm going to.
08:08Flirt.
08:09Yes.
08:09Don't forget to flirt.
08:11I know I need to get on your flirting tips.
08:14Bye, darling.
08:15Have the best day.
08:15Me too.
08:15You have the best day.
08:17Bye, coach.
08:18I think we got her back.
08:19She has worked so much on herself that she can bounce back like that.
08:24Very, very good.
08:25And it's evident that she's all refreshed in a new frame of mind and is ready to take on more
08:31dating.
08:31And that's all we can ask for here at the agency.
08:35So as Lucinda leaves pumped for her date this afternoon with Ollie, PK's bracing himself for a pumping from the
08:43agents as he makes his way up to see the teachers for the first time since his sticks are schooling.
08:48Uh-oh.
08:49You've got headmaster Brunton instead of Tara.
08:52Good luck, mate.
08:53Oh.
08:54PK.
08:55PK.
08:56Is he immature or irresponsible?
08:58If he wants a long-term relationship, if he is, I'm thinking, actually, I want to kind of change it
09:03up a little bit now to less shagging, more actually intentional dating.
09:07He is so not even there yet.
09:11Come in.
09:13Hello, hello, hello.
09:15At the sticks up, PK went into full pick and mix mode, sampling everything on offer.
09:20I feel like you know what you want.
09:21Yeah, I know I want you.
09:23I know.
09:23You know.
09:25You're a vibe, but you're lively.
09:27I feel like you're keeping me on my toes.
09:28You might even cheat on me, though.
09:29Mm-mm.
09:30Which sent Anna into a full sweet shop shutdown.
09:34You think you're a great dater.
09:36I hate to say it.
09:38You're a terrible dater.
09:40Prompting PK to finally pick his prize.
09:44Joel.
09:46How do you feel about coming in today?
09:51Um...
09:51I'm a bit nervous.
09:53I'm always nervous to come in.
09:55So what about the mixer made you nervous to come in here?
10:00She's right next to you, Paul.
10:02Obviously, I know I was flirting with everyone.
10:04Very, like, sexual conversations.
10:07Like, I was...
10:08I was...
10:09I was doing, what I say, that thing.
10:11I was doing that thing hard.
10:12The kindest way I was throwing my cock about.
10:15Steady on PK.
10:16Ladies present.
10:17You were in there with that schlong and you were just...
10:20Yeah, flinging.
10:21..throwing it around left, right and centre.
10:23Ah, OK.
10:24I take it back.
10:24As you were.
10:25And, yeah, at times it felt uncomfortable.
10:29It felt like you were, um, fishing for the roster.
10:34Like, you said you won a relationship when you came in here.
10:36You were looking to find love.
10:39But that display in the sixer is not the behaviour of somebody
10:44that is going to get long-term love.
10:46That was just someone going around a room chatting to girls.
10:49Oof.
10:49On a positive note, though, PK, at least Paul's not gone in on you yet.
10:53How do you define respect?
10:55Oh, shit.
10:56Ooh, that's the...
10:57That's the difficult one.
10:59Respect...
11:02I feel that respect is dealing with someone the way you want to be dealt with.
11:06OK.
11:08Respect is when you honour somebody's dignity.
11:10When you honour their boundaries.
11:12When you honour their feelings.
11:15When you are on those dates, what I saw was not honouring their feelings.
11:22The fact that they all said they felt like you were going to choose them.
11:26They were the most special person.
11:29That means that their feelings were not respected.
11:35If everyone feels like they're chosen, no one's really chosen.
11:42Well, this is all very awkward.
11:44Quick, Hannah.
11:44Say schlong again.
11:54Welcome back to Celebs Go Dating, where PK's just been given a PB pasting
11:58for a lack of respect shown to his date at the Stixer.
12:02If everyone feels like they're chosen, no one's really chosen.
12:07You know what I mean?
12:10I'm not choosing any of them, per se.
12:12Like, I'm saying some stuff, but it's very light-hearted stuff.
12:16Mm-hmm.
12:16So, I feel like there is that level of respect because my tone is very jokey.
12:21Right.
12:21But what you just said is that's a throwaway line.
12:24Yeah.
12:24You're saying it's a joke.
12:25So, what I'm saying is that, like, why should it all be throwaway?
12:29Mm-hmm.
12:29You had a tension across the board, but we're looking for an intention.
12:34And that's the small bit that I think, if you tweak, you become a better dater.
12:39When I have these conversations, it's good, but once I leave the room, it goes...
12:45Okay.
12:46It's gone.
12:47Unlearning habits and creating new habits takes time.
12:51Every time I come to this agency, Blaze, I'm getting roasted.
12:54I'm getting blasted.
12:55And I feel like if my ways are what are causing havoc into my love life, then I'm willing
13:00to change it.
13:01Because Joan's a pretty girl.
13:03She's a lovely girl.
13:04Everything about her is amazing.
13:05What do you remember about Joan?
13:08I just remember that she was just like a ray of sunshine.
13:11Like, she was, like, just a big character, a big personality.
13:15Mm-hmm.
13:15And just someone that I'll probably have a lot of fun with.
13:18What can you change about your behavior on this date with Joan, based on what you've
13:24learned so far at the agency?
13:25I think cutting out all, like, the sexual stuff, I think that's a good start.
13:32Actually asking her questions that I want to know about her.
13:36That is great.
13:38We're excited.
13:40Very.
13:41Very.
13:42Very excited.
13:44Bye, darling. Have fun.
13:47One thing's for sure.
13:49There's something about him, and I do like him.
13:51Hopefully, we'll get him to a point of confirmed trust, where he can actually trust fully the
13:56process, open up, and that's where we're going to see change.
14:00Say what you like about Paul, but you've got to admire the man's optimism.
14:09Which is lucky, because next in is our famously hard-to-please loose lady, Colleen.
14:13Prime for a post-date powwow with the love doctors, after a second date with spiritual
14:19suitor, Mike.
14:22Hello, Celebrity Dating Agency.
14:25Hi.
14:25It's Colleen.
14:26Oh, Colleen, Colleen.
14:29They're coming.
14:29What's the fight?
14:34To be real.
14:35Real, real, real, real.
14:40Come in.
14:41Oh, about time, too.
14:44Where the bloody hell have you been?
14:46My goodness.
14:47What a sight for sore eyes.
14:51Reunited at long last with my favourite sibling, Songstress.
14:55Dear Colleen has had her nose to the grindstone on an extensive tour, but now I get to bury mine
15:03deep into her particulars.
15:05Do you have dressing room rituals?
15:07Because every dressing room I've ever had, I've always had a peace lily.
15:10It's sort of very pleasing to the retinas, but it also cleans...
15:14I love you!
15:14...cleans the air, you know, at the same time.
15:16I think I might have you as my dressing room thing to make me feel good before I go on.
15:21You know, Gertrude Lawrence used to fill her dressing room with trees.
15:24Really?
15:24My rider's a pack of four Cronenberg and a cream egg.
15:27Trees?
15:28Why?
15:29Well, I think she thought that when she was on Broadway, she was so far away from the countryside, which
15:33she loved, she'd bring it into her dressing room.
15:36Well, I might start bringing my goats.
15:37Bit harsh, but I'm sure Janet Street Porter and Denise Welch have been called worse.
15:47And from farmyard animals to fancy ones next.
15:51As fluttering across town, Queen of Cosmic Confidence Lucinda is about to meet her next match.
15:56Property developer Ollie at a butterfly sanctuary.
15:59Because nothing says romance like a contained swarm of flying insects.
16:03Enjoy!
16:04Do you know what, I'm really excited about Ollie, but I have to say I'm more excited about the butterflies
16:09at this point.
16:10No pressure, Ollie.
16:12My usual type is definitely something that's quite spiritual.
16:15Tick.
16:16Quite bubbly.
16:17Double tick.
16:17I am intrigued, excited.
16:20I'm hoping for some fun.
16:22I hope that I fancy the pants off him.
16:24I hope there's a bit of chemistry.
16:27And I hope that there's butterflies in my stomach.
16:31Oh, God.
16:31She's not going to eat them, is she?
16:33Hi.
16:34How are you, Sandra?
16:35Hi, Ollie.
16:36You're a hugger?
16:36I'm a hugger.
16:37I'm a hugger too.
16:38Hey.
16:39Big hugger.
16:39How are you?
16:40Good to meet you.
16:42And you?
16:43I am so excited about the butterflies.
16:45So am I, generally, actually really excited.
16:47Same.
16:48Just chuck me in nature and I'm good to go.
16:50And butterflies are the sweetest thing.
16:52There's something quite sort of spiritual.
16:54The transformation isn't there?
16:56Yes.
16:57Should we go in?
16:58Let's.
16:59Yes, Ollie.
17:00Yes, Ollie.
17:00Spirituality chats surrounded by nature.
17:02This is all Lucinda's dreams coming true at once.
17:05New knickers, please.
17:06I reckon one's going to land on you.
17:08Yeah.
17:08What will happen if it does?
17:10Just enjoy it.
17:11That means something magical.
17:12Yeah.
17:13If you call catching subtropical dengue fever magical, then sure.
17:17You're a yes to the adventure man.
17:19And then regret saying yes by that late.
17:22But it's too late because I'm in it.
17:23Okay.
17:24Well, sometimes that's part of the adventure.
17:25Well, it's an adventure with an adventure.
17:28Yeah.
17:28Bit like this, really.
17:29It's a butterfly house, not Jurassic Park, mate.
17:31First impressions of Ollie.
17:33Gorgeous guy, but in the profile it said he was six foot two.
17:38Maybe it's my heels, but I don't think he's six foot two.
17:42Okay.
17:43So shorter than expected.
17:44What else you got in your locker, Ollie?
17:45What's that theory again?
17:47The butterfly thing.
17:48What if you're a studier of butterflies?
17:49That would be called a lepid.
17:51I've completely forgotten now.
17:53I'd looked it up on the internet.
17:55And I was going to pretend to you that I was a lepid doctor amethyst,
17:59but I can't even say the name.
18:00So it looks like we can cross six foot two and leppy the thingamajiggyjiggy off his agency buyer.
18:11Meanwhile, back at the agency, Colleen's emerged from Tom's cocoon
18:15to make her way up to filling the top dogs on her latest date with Silver Fox Mike.
18:20Come on in.
18:22Hello.
18:24Hey there, Colleen.
18:24Queen Colleen is back.
18:26After skipping the smorgasbord of potential suitors at the Styxa,
18:30Colleen stuck with seasoned charmer Mike and promptly embarked on a second date.
18:34You're looking more stunning each time I see you.
18:37Stop.
18:37And despite a flurry of flanter from a vintage Romeo.
18:41You've got amazing eyes.
18:42How many?
18:42You've never been told that before have you?
18:44At least six times by you.
18:46Do you kiss on second dates?
18:47She wasn't quite ready to sign off with a snog.
18:49No.
18:53OK, so Mike.
18:56He's fabulous.
18:57We get on really well.
18:59We laughed and we talked about everything and he's really interesting and funny and,
19:03you know, he's attractive, but there's just something not there.
19:07Yeah.
19:08What else is left?
19:09What do you mean?
19:11Like, he said to me, do you kiss on the second date?
19:14OK.
19:15And I went, oh, God, no, no.
19:20No, I don't.
19:21And then I thought I would.
19:22Yeah.
19:22I would.
19:23If I fancied you, I would.
19:24I'd kiss on the first date if I fancied you.
19:26So I just don't think physically, it's just not happening for me at the moment.
19:30And I went home and, like, said to my family, because they were like, what was he like?
19:33And I put all the negatives there.
19:35Oh.
19:36Well, he lives four hours away.
19:37He does this and he does that.
19:38And they're more like, well, that doesn't matter, you know?
19:41And I just thought, no, I know it wouldn't matter.
19:43If I felt it, I wouldn't care if he was eight hours away.
19:48I would say, don't put this much pressure on yourself.
19:52Mm-hmm.
19:53I say, you know what, Colin?
19:55Chill out.
19:56Yeah.
19:56Like, for real, chill out.
19:58Just relax.
19:58Thanks.
19:59There still is time for you to date lots of people in here.
20:02Mike, it sounds like you had a great date.
20:05He's so nice.
20:06And we did, there's nothing I can say wrong about him.
20:09Really?
20:09Really.
20:09So we're going to look at his feedback.
20:11You want to hear this?
20:12How he describes you?
20:13Very down-to-earth and easygoing.
20:16Wonderful company.
20:18And very attractive.
20:19Oh.
20:21Look at that.
20:2210 out of 10.
20:22Mm-hmm.
20:23He said, I really would love to meet her again.
20:26The sooner, the better.
20:27Oh.
20:29He...
20:2910-10.
20:30He made me feel fabulous.
20:32Mike's feedback couldn't have been any nicer.
20:36It was so lovely.
20:37And therefore, you know, to me, he does deserve for me to give him another chance.
20:41And maybe I deserve to give myself a chance for someone to treat me as kindly as he seems
20:47to be doing.
20:48You know, on paper, as far as a person goes, Mike, is it really?
20:53On paper, as far as what I would write down of what my type was, isn't it?
20:59As in physical attributes.
21:02But then you've just got to work out what's just the most important bit.
21:05Maybe invite him over to your farm.
21:09Because you said, you know, dating in the limelight, it's a lot, a lot of pressure.
21:14Maybe take the pressure off by being where you feel very comfortable and, you know, yourself.
21:19Mm-hmm.
21:20Maybe there's more chemistry when you observe him in your space.
21:24Let's do it.
21:24I think taking Mike to home turf is a great idea.
21:27Colleen has so many phenomenal things to say about him, but she puts so much pressure on
21:32herself that it extinguishes any embers before the fire gets going.
21:36And I have the perfect plan to put her at ease.
21:40You definitely should bring along people that you know that you feel safe with.
21:45Mm-hmm.
21:46Right.
21:47And I know that you and David.
21:50Oh, yeah.
21:51Seem to be very close.
21:53Yeah, we get on so well.
21:54I mean, I'm close to all of them, but yeah, David.
21:56Yeah.
21:56See if he has to come.
21:57Maybe David could bring his partner.
22:00Oh, yeah.
22:01With Anthony.
22:02I think this is like the perfect third date.
22:05Yeah, I do.
22:06This is your moment to see, does attraction move up?
22:12I hope it does.
22:13Yeah.
22:13I hope it does, too.
22:14And if it goes up even a little bit, it is worth exploring.
22:17Great idea.
22:19Yes.
22:19And I'm looking forward to it.
22:20The head, the heart, and the vag alignment.
22:22Ah, the holy trinity.
22:24Oh, you're going to have a great time.
22:25Love you, Colleen.
22:26Bye.
22:26Bye-bye.
22:28Stay dirty.
22:29Always.
22:29I'm trying.
22:32That was lovely.
22:33That was really, really nice to see her, like, laughing, smiling.
22:36I think she still needs to work on the negative self-talk part.
22:40Yes.
22:41But I think she has come a long way from our first day with her.
22:44Oh, my goodness.
22:45Hasn't she?
22:46So, as Colleen heads off to align her head, heart, and vag on the farm,
22:50back at the winged wonderland, despite falling short of his six-foot-two sales pitch,
22:55Ollie's managing to hang in there where it counts with Lucinda.
22:58Butterfly banter.
23:00So, what did you make of that?
23:02I enjoyed that.
23:03Very relaxing in a butterfly farm.
23:05How do you feel?
23:06I'm not going to sit here and pretend I'm an expert at all.
23:09You did earlier.
23:10But they are fascinating as in the animal kingdom.
23:13Yeah.
23:13To go from the whole metamorphosis and the cliché sort of connection to spirituality,
23:19shall we say.
23:20Do they sell tequila shots at butterfly sanctuaries?
23:23This day could do it one.
23:24And what the caterpillar represents of, you know,
23:28the challenges on our journey and then the chrysalis and then this sort of freedom.
23:33No idea what he's talking about and it's boring as fuck.
23:35But keep it up, Ollie.
23:36Lucinda looks keen.
23:37I think as humans we have many chrysalis moments, don't we?
23:40We definitely do.
23:41You do have quite a relaxed zen energy.
23:45Thank you very much.
23:45That's a good testament to you.
23:47You know what, Ollie's starting to grow on me and I do like his depth, our conversation
23:53and I reckon that the agents have done a pretty good job.
23:57I'm an ocean swimmer.
23:59I'm in it most mornings if I'm in Australia.
24:01We've got a group called the dodgy dunkers.
24:04You wouldn't want to see my dodgy dunkers in a pair of speedos.
24:07But it's like 7am.
24:08All year round.
24:09All year round.
24:10This will be right up Nature Boy's strata.
24:12No.
24:12I'm laughing because I have a terrible relationship with water.
24:16Oh, you don't like the ocean?
24:17No, I actually have a long-term fear of being in water.
24:23Oh, bollocks.
24:25You've got a phobia.
24:26Yeah.
24:27God, I can even feel it now, yeah.
24:28Wow.
24:29Just connecting to that.
24:30Some people will say anything to get out of joining the dodgy dunkers.
24:49Welcome back to Celebs Go Dating, where after a series of setbacks,
24:53Ollie somehow seems to still be winging it at the butterfly farm with Lucinda.
24:57What are you looking for?
24:59Well, I'm looking for you.
25:02No, genuinely, what are you looking for?
25:04Come on, Ollie, send some spiritual positivity up to the dating gods.
25:08To answer your... I mean, you couldn't script it, could you?
25:12Bloody hell, it worked.
25:16And I was about to say the word...
25:19..connection.
25:22Wow.
25:22You've actually got shivers.
25:24I mean, that is a compliment.
25:26That is a sign, is what that is, Ollie.
25:28Now, all you need is a bird to shit on your head,
25:30and she'll be putty in your hands.
25:31That is beautiful.
25:34Hello, has Ollie's cosmic critter turned the tide for Lucinda?
25:39Um, so, what...
25:42What's the matter, Lou?
25:42Who says the chakra got your tongue?
25:44Yeah, what are you vibing?
25:46What do you...
25:47Would you like to go out and...
25:49I...
25:52Would love to meet up with you again.
25:53Would you?
25:54Yeah.
25:55Yes, Lulu!
25:57The butterflies, I think they've all gone to sleep.
25:59Lazy butterfly bastards.
26:01We should probably get out of here.
26:02Let's go.
26:03Let's go.
26:04Let's do it.
26:08Well, that was so fun.
26:10It's been amazing.
26:11I loved it.
26:12Good.
26:14I feel like we've got lots in common.
26:16We have.
26:17There's a lot of serendipitous crossovers.
26:20Theories, actually.
26:22So, wow.
26:22I would love to continue the conversation if you're up for that.
26:25Yeah, I think I am up for that.
26:27Mwah.
26:28See ya.
26:30Whoop!
26:34There were little embers and flickers at the end.
26:37There was something that emerged between us that was a little bit sexier than what was
26:43happening through the date as we were getting to know each other.
26:46But I think it's got potential.
26:48The date was surprisingly enjoyable.
26:51So, I was pleasantly very surprised.
26:52Yeah, I was definitely attracted to her.
26:53I'm curious.
26:54I do want to get to know one more.
26:56And I think I'm going to get my sexy on.
26:59So, whilst Lucinda prepares to turn her sexy on.
27:07PK is arriving for his date with Joan with one clear mission.
27:11To turn his off.
27:13As he aims to think less of his schlong and more of his noggin.
27:17Joan is very charismatic.
27:20Very flirtatious.
27:21But the agents told me that I need to get to know Joan.
27:24So, I'm trying to get to know everything about her.
27:27Double D, 32 waist, size 8.
27:30Yeah, I think they were thinking more pets, pastimes and pizza toppings.
27:34If things go well, we can share saliva for sure.
27:37Ugh.
27:38Obviously, I can't foresee the future.
27:40I'm not a carrot reader.
27:42Yeah, tricky things to read, carrots.
27:44I'm feeling really good about my date with PK.
27:47But, I'm kind of going into it with an open mind, open heart.
27:52I don't know that man that well.
27:53So, yeah, we'll see how it goes.
27:56Keeping your expectations low, Joan.
27:58Sensible.
27:58Hello.
27:59Hello, hello, hello.
28:00How are you?
28:02You all right?
28:02Good to see you.
28:03I am.
28:04Good to see you too.
28:05Oh, not a gentleman.
28:06Gentlemen.
28:07You know, I see it.
28:08I see it.
28:08I love it.
28:09Chivalry.
28:10Chivalry is not dead.
28:11He knew you was going to say that.
28:13He's a carrot reader.
28:14I'm trying to become a better dater.
28:17Okay.
28:18Like, apparently my, like, dating techniques are not great.
28:21Okay, run it for me.
28:23I'm more like just flirt.
28:25I love a flirt.
28:26Oh, God.
28:27But, not like a, um, over-sexual flirt.
28:30He can't get his head around that, can he?
28:32Right?
28:32Like, you actually know how to spit game.
28:34Yeah, nah.
28:35I'll make you feel it without doing too much.
28:37Okay.
28:38Joan's vibrant.
28:39And you see me, I'm a vibrant person.
28:42I go for vibrations.
28:44And her frequency is frequenting.
28:46Like, it's going mad.
28:47He better turn the dial to Classic FM before he does something he shouldn't.
28:51Eat, darling.
28:52You're going to need all the energy.
28:53Bloody hell, PK.
28:54Can I please get the lamb shank?
28:56Yeah.
28:57No salad.
28:57No nothing.
28:58So, no vegetables when you're eating?
28:59It comes with veggies.
29:00What veggies?
29:01It said it on there.
29:03I know it did.
29:04You don't be eating veggies?
29:06No, I eat veggies.
29:07For sure.
29:08That's, that's...
29:08I don't look like this not eating veggies.
29:12There's no way.
29:13You see, now you're making me look.
29:14You see, now you're flirting with me.
29:15That's the point.
29:18Or to make me look.
29:19Yeah.
29:20But this is the thing.
29:21For instance, see how that was like casual.
29:24It makes you think about me more.
29:25It makes you think like, wow, I should see her again.
29:27He's either learning a valuable lesson here or thinking about his carrot.
29:31I'll go with the latter.
29:32There ain't no fun in just looking and not touching.
29:35What is...
29:35But that's on you.
29:36You got to make me actually like, want to hang out and let you.
29:40You know what, now already?
29:41No.
29:42Not yet?
29:42Not yet.
29:43Yes, Joan.
29:44She's got your number, mate, and she's dialing it in.
29:47I don't know if you're trustworthy.
29:49Do I look like someone that's not trustworthy?
29:51You just want shenanigans.
29:52Rumbled.
29:53Either that or she's up for one more at the Irish bar later.
30:03Meanwhile, across town, deep think of Stephen's en route to a make or break fourth date with radio host Clara.
30:08After questioning his true feelings about her and the agency.
30:13I had a really difficult conversation at the agency.
30:17A lot came up.
30:18Everything seemed to be on track with Clara.
30:20I like you.
30:21I find you attractive.
30:23But it left Stephen confused.
30:25When she said she fancied me, why would I not like that?
30:28I believe her, but it made me feel uncomfortable and I want to understand why.
30:32And the agents helped get to the crux of it.
30:34Are you carrying a lot of emotion around your current ex?
30:38Absolutely.
30:39There are times where I'm just like, could we not just fucking sort it out?
30:43And I just don't want to spend my life surviving.
30:45I've done so much of that.
30:47No.
30:47I want to find a way to thrive.
30:48You will.
30:49It takes time.
30:50Leaving a baffled Stephen with a big decision to make.
30:55It's just so weird, isn't it?
30:56It's like, I like her.
30:58I'm interested in her.
30:59I enjoy talking to her.
31:01But there hasn't been that thing.
31:05And so do we continue or do we leave it where it is?
31:09Don't ask me, mate.
31:10I'll just do the voiceover.
31:11Oh, hey.
31:18Back at the restaurant, aspiring respectable date of PK is still hanging in there with no-nonsense Joan.
31:24Enjoy your mail, guys.
31:26Did you say you've been in London?
31:28Yeah, I've been with some people.
31:29And how did you find it?
31:30It was okay.
31:32What's the difference?
31:33American men are just more, like, willing to approach overall, which I like.
31:38So you like men that are direct?
31:40I like a direct.
31:42I like somebody that uses his brain.
31:44Let me talk to you nicely, yeah.
31:46Let me hear your criteria.
31:48Your checklist.
31:49I want to know these things.
31:51You do?
31:51Yeah.
31:52I like someone who's, like, passionate about something.
31:55Like, teach me something.
31:56Anything.
31:57If it's an anime, sure.
31:58If it's geography, love that.
32:00If it's about plants, let's go for it.
32:03You can almost hear his brain buffering to think of a hobby that isn't shagging.
32:08I want you to be passionate about something.
32:12Joan knows what she wants.
32:13She knows what she likes.
32:14She's a smart girl.
32:16But I feel like, like the agent said, I need to get to know her.
32:20Let me just deep dive into her.
32:23When are you trying to have kids?
32:24Deep dive?
32:25That was a bloody reverse pike with full rotation.
32:28Sorry.
32:29I just...
32:29You know what it is?
32:30My brain thinks of things and then I just...
32:32I just say it.
32:33Your brain or your bell end?
32:34Okay.
32:35I would love to have kids whenever I am in a committed, long-term relationship with my husband.
32:42Oh, husband.
32:44So you got...
32:44I'm not trying to be nobody's baby mom.
32:46Like, this is my thing.
32:46I hear that.
32:47If you feel confident enough to give me a human life, but you don't feel confident enough
32:51to spend your life with me, that doesn't make sense.
32:55I mean, you could have just asked her what her childhood was like.
32:57Favorite holiday, stuff like that.
32:59Either way, we might have finally met a woman capable of reining in our resident roaming Romeo.
33:08Back at the other end of town, after an emotional meeting with the agent still fresh in his mind,
33:13a conflicted Stevens arrive in for his moment of truth with Clara.
33:17Hopefully, the driver whacked on some mellow magic to chill the prof out a bit.
33:20I'm gonna have a really open and honest conversation with Clara as I have the whole way through.
33:25And where that leads to, who knows?
33:27It's so tough, because this needn't be that intense.
33:30But my brain loves to intensify things as it is, which is why I've always lent into the intense.
33:35And I've been trying not to, and yet here we are... intense.
33:39Or is it?
33:40Well, that clears that up. Thanks, Steve.
33:48I think on tonight's date, we're just gonna see how things go.
33:51It would be really nice if there was a little bit more getting closer
33:55and a little bit of kind of tactile touching.
33:57However, I'm gonna leave that to Steven.
34:00I know that he wants to take things slowly, so I'm kind of allowing him to set the pace,
34:03which might mean that it never happens, but that's on him.
34:07Well, unless you want that pace to be 100 miles an hour running on the spot,
34:10you might need to give him a nudge.
34:12You all right?
34:13Yeah, I'm good. How are you?
34:15Yeah, I'm all right.
34:16Bit cold.
34:16Fine.
34:18Nice to see you.
34:18Nice to see you too.
34:20Wow.
34:21Thankfully for Steven's blood pressure, they'll be embracing their zen
34:24as they attempt to build a terranium.
34:26Which, to be honest, I've just had to Google and still don't have a fucking clue what it is.
34:30How do you fare with houseplants?
34:32I have kept some alive for quite a while.
34:34That's pretty good.
34:35So I have like three orchids that have been going for years.
34:37Hello, welcome to the class.
34:39How are you doing?
34:39Good, thank you. How are you?
34:40Good evening. Yeah, welcome.
34:41So yeah, we're here to make a terrarium tonight.
34:44Any ideas what a terrarium is?
34:45Something with the potential to make Steven even more awkward about this date?
34:49A glass jar with some little garden in it.
34:51Yeah, pretty close.
34:52Well, it's a self-sustaining ecosystem.
34:55Don't look so puzzled, Steven. You're the professor of greenery.
34:58So what we're going to do tonight is going to show you all the steps to build your ever-first
35:02terrarium.
35:03At the end of the session, we're going to show you how to look after your terrarium as well.
35:08Sexy terrarium maintenance.
35:09That'll have them ripping each other's clothes off.
35:11Well, this isn't going to be easy, is it?
35:13I've got to somehow gain clarity over where Clara and I stand.
35:19And at the same time, I'm supposed to be building a fucking garden in a jar.
35:24I don't think I have the capacity for both.
35:28So, get yourself a good old handful.
35:31Mm-hm.
35:31Give it a squeeze.
35:32You'll see you've got some beautiful water coming out of there, rainwater.
35:36You might squirt each other by accident in the eye, so just be warned, OK?
35:41Blimey, I'm taking it all back.
35:42I think I'm getting the terrarium horn.
35:44Erm, this is a lovely moment to get fully connected to nature with the moss.
35:49Thank you, Dad. Enjoy, yeah, cool.
35:50Oh, God, now I'm fucking up the soil underneath.
35:53It's not that I want it to be perfect, but, like, you know, given it is my first one, it
35:57needn't.
35:57It's a good job you don't want it to be perfect.
35:59But I do kind of want it to be.
36:00I mean, this is all great soil-based banter, but when are they going to start talking about fancying each
36:04other again?
36:05Watch out, I'm about to squirt.
36:07Yes, Clara, good work.
36:10Keep squirting.
36:17No issues with any mixed signals over with PK, as his no-nonsense date Jones been reading straight through his
36:23thinly-veiled advances.
36:25But PK seems determined to discover if she really is immune to his charms, even if it means pissing off
36:31the agents again.
36:32So if you saw me in a club right now, you used to, like, would you give me the look?
36:36I would look at you, I'll wait for you to come talk to me, don't talk to me, I'm moving
36:39on.
36:40I'd be like, ooh, what are you drinking today?
36:42I'm having a little bit of tequila.
36:43Ooh, we have physical contacts, summon alert, pause pager, quick.
36:47Did you show me your friends?
36:48Yeah.
36:48I'd be like, ooh, are your friends pretty?
36:53Did he just stop to perv on our hypothetical friends?
36:56He's committed to the cause, I'll give him that.
36:58And then I'll just be like, whispering in your ear, get a little vibe, girl.
37:03Give me a little sweet nothing, let me dance a little.
37:04Christ, he's falling for it.
37:06How the hell has he managed this?
37:07I might even catch a wine as well.
37:09You definitely would.
37:10I would.
37:10Yeah, for sure.
37:12You'll feel it though, trust me.
37:13For sure.
37:15P.K., don't piss me off.
37:17I'm sorry.
37:18The dating coaches, I'm telling on you immediately.
37:20I wouldn't normally condone snitching, but I'll make an exception for P.K.
37:36Welcome back to Celebs Go Dating.
37:38We're back at the eco workshop, tiny forest builder Steven has yet to branch out into sharing
37:43his thoughts on whether he and Clara have a future together.
37:47Didn't you have a session with the experts?
37:50I did, yes, which was intense.
37:53What did you talk about?
37:54I spoke to all the things that are great.
37:58I really enjoy talking to you.
38:00I think you're incredibly observant, aware, patient.
38:06And then I said, am I weird?
38:08Like, when you said to me that you find me attractive, I was like, I don't know.
38:14This is why I said, am I weird?
38:16Does it give you the ick?
38:17Um, it was all quite emotional.
38:20I came to the agency in search of something meaningful.
38:25And actually, what this process has shown me is that thus far, it ain't gonna be that easy.
38:31I am nowhere near ready, and it is not fair to Clara to drag this out.
38:37But there's so much confusion in me internally.
38:40You know, it's being sober, it's being a father, it's being quite recently single.
38:46Mm-hm.
38:47And I'm like, I don't know my head for my arse.
38:49There we go.
38:50Aw, Professor.
38:57One man who does know his way round an arse and a pair of legs and also boobies is relentless
39:01flirt PK.
39:03But he's Joan going to finally cave to his grafting or dub him into the agents.
39:07But the cheeky little chancery is.
39:09What's your favourite chocolate?
39:10I like milk chocolate with a little bit of caramel inside.
39:14Okay.
39:15What's yours?
39:16Hazelnut.
39:17Hazelnut?
39:17That's how I got a belly.
39:18I could use my belly quickly.
39:20Listen, nobody's body shaming here.
39:22Be confident in who you are and what you look like.
39:26I'm a sucker for a hand kiss.
39:28Wow!
39:29Well, you just got two for the price of one.
39:32He's pulling out all the stops here.
39:34I'm a sucker for it.
39:36Christ, what does she have on her hands?
39:39I'm a sucker for romance, to be honest, yeah.
39:42I know what I want.
39:44I know who I need.
39:46Mm.
39:46What I need.
39:47What's that?
39:49I need real love.
39:51Aw.
39:52I need real love.
39:54I'll be honest with you, yeah?
39:55I want to kiss you.
39:57But if I kiss you, I'm going to have some bad thoughts.
40:00And not to mention some badly swollen testicles after Paul finds out.
40:04I feel like if I kiss you, I don't know where life will tell you.
40:10Oh, please.
40:11Obviously didn't read the carrot properly.
40:13Now you're just laying on thick.
40:16Yeah, because I haven't played no games on you.
40:18That's okay.
40:19The games have been played.
40:20Yeah.
40:21Curious, George, all of that stuff.
40:27Let's leave it.
40:28I'm thinking about it.
40:29We'll think about it.
40:30For our own good.
40:32For health and safety.
40:33For your good.
40:34Good lad PK.
40:35The agents will be proud.
40:37Ish.
40:38She is an amazing lady.
40:41Everything about her.
40:43Her personality.
40:44Her drive.
40:45Her charisma.
40:47Everything.
40:48If it was up to me, I'd be waking up next to Joan tomorrow.
40:53I had an amazing night, did you?
40:55I had a great night.
40:56My date was really good.
40:57It was a lot of fun.
40:59I think PK is very naughty and cheeky.
41:01I don't want the night to end, you know.
41:03What should we do?
41:04I feel like we should go get another drink.
41:06Let's do it.
41:07Should we?
41:07Yeah.
41:08Come, let's do it then.
41:08Let's do it, let's do it.
41:10Christ.
41:12Don't get on my nerves, PK.
41:13Come on.
41:15But he keeps you on your toes, which is fun.
41:16You don't want to be sitting with somebody who's just talking about
41:18like an investment portfolio all day, you know.
41:21Don't encourage him, Joan.
41:22Woo!
41:23PK, behave, please.
41:25Sorry.
41:25I want to know who's responsible for bringing Joan to this thixer.
41:28Because that person needs a pay rise with immediate effect.
41:32Jesus, the night's still young.
41:34Anything can happen.
41:35Just remember, mate, one wrong move.
41:37And she's grasping you up to the agents.
41:40I'll find what I'm looking for.
41:43I won't stop the fight.
41:45I'll search every night.
41:47Back to the budding botanist now.
41:49Where after laying his hesitations about Clara on the table,
41:52Stephen seems to be disappearing even deeper into himself.
41:55Find what I'm looking for.
41:57Find what I'm looking for.
41:59Dun-dun-dun.
42:00Dun-dun-dun-dun.
42:04Silence.
42:06Sorry, I was in my head.
42:08Makes a change.
42:10You never.
42:12I know.
42:13What's going on in your head?
42:16I'm wondering what we do.
42:18I'm wondering what you think we do.
42:20You know, I keep going back to the question from the agents.
42:23You know, is that thing there?
42:24Yeah.
42:25And I think that attraction is not there yet.
42:33It's not made easier by being pressured, by being asked that,
42:36because it doesn't give time to understand.
42:39But then I also don't want to waste time.
42:44And, you know, it's one thing asking for patience.
42:46I can't ask for, you know...
42:53I want to know where you're at and how you feel.
42:59Um, so I think for me, like, obviously this is our fourth time,
43:03like, spending time together.
43:06And I, like, I genuinely feel like,
43:10like, if you're gonna fancy someone,
43:11which I guess is the bit that we're talking about is missing, right,
43:14then I think it should be there.
43:15OK.
43:16Um, and I think that if it's not,
43:19then you're essentially friends.
43:23Obviously, I appreciate you being honest with me,
43:25but I think for me, it's like, I want someone who actually wants me.
43:28And you deserve that, because you're gorgeous.
43:31So, yeah, I think that's where I'm at.
43:33OK.
43:39I should put the lid on it.
43:42Like this.
43:46Lovely.
43:47I've really enjoyed...
43:50seeing you.
43:53It's OK, honestly, it's fine.
43:54I'm not gonna lie, like, I have an ego.
43:56It gets wounded.
43:57But I also understand,
43:59and I can kind of separate myself from it.
44:01And I'd much rather someone was honest with me.
44:02So, you know, that's the way it goes.
44:06Yeah.
44:08I've definitely taken a lot of positive
44:10from the time that we've spent together.
44:12It's been an interesting process,
44:13getting to know you and spending time with you.
44:16So that's cool.
44:17But I think I'm gonna go.
44:19OK.
44:20OK.
44:20Oh, Stephen.
44:22It's a huge fumble.
44:24She's great.
44:27Be nice.
44:28Take care.
44:32See ya.
44:33Bye.
44:42I feel like if Stephen has not found me attractive
44:46since the first date,
44:48that maybe there shouldn't have been a second one.
44:50But this is life.
44:51Like, not everyone's gonna fancy me.
44:53That's OK.
44:54I obviously wish him all the best,
44:55and I really do hope that he finds
44:58the kind of peace that he's looking for
44:59and the happiness that he's looking for,
45:01because I think we all deserve it.
45:03What if I'm someone I don't wanna rhyme?
45:08She's incredibly emotionally intelligent.
45:11She probably understood where I'm at better than I do.
45:14She's beautiful.
45:16She's funny.
45:17So comfortable in her skin.
45:19It's, yeah,
45:20it's really easy to start going back over it
45:24and thinking, oh, maybe I shouldn't have,
45:25in fact, even done that.
45:27And I am, as ever, out of sorts.
45:30Oh, Steve, chin up, mate.
45:32You'll get there.
45:33Now stop overthinking what to do with your terrarium.
45:36This place shuts in 20, all right?
45:41I'm falling
45:46Tomorrow night!
45:48James gets a grilling from Hottie Dottie.
45:50What are your intentions?
45:52So I think day three is, like...
45:54Day three for me is rare.
45:56And there's a dirty double day down on Colleen's farm.
45:59You just have an aversion to bossy, don't you?
46:01Yeah.
46:02Do you want cake?
46:02I'm not really sure about the answer to that question.
46:05Okay, I know.
46:05The future of me and David is so up in the air.
46:08How's our celebs?
46:09Are you through chemistry with me?
46:11There's definitely an attraction.
46:12You're attracted to me.
46:13Was that not obvious?
46:15Go!
46:15So which one's on a date with my mum?
46:17Right, outside.
46:18Dating!
46:19One last kiss you.
46:20I am.
46:21Really?
46:22Yeah.
46:23Oh la la smoochy time!
46:24Happy new time!
46:25Right, I am.
46:42You're the only one a day.
46:43Have a feeling.
46:44Bye!
46:44See you all!
46:46Bye!
46:46Bye!
46:46Bye!
46:47Bye!
46:48Bye!
Comments